Dumb, Outrageous Church Bulletins

[thinkboutit]

There is no god. Or did I miss the evidence somewhere?

[joshrobertcassey]

love they neighbor ... and maybe love his wife alittle more.... what is that a sin or something

[Sojourneer]

@SpiritOfAThunderbird Kind of you to say so. Its good when reading the bible to read a whole "book" like Hebrews through a couple of times to understand the content and flow rather than looking at little sections which then we can wind up misinterpreting. And then a bible with historical introductions to each book helps. Commentaries can also be helpful. God bless you.

[Sojourneer]

@SpiritOfAThunderbird About proof, here's what the apostle John says (1 John):

That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked at and our hands have touched—this we proclaim concerning the Word of life. The life appeared; we have seen it and testify to it, and we proclaim to you the eternal life, which was with the Father and has appeared to us. ... We proclaim... so that you also may have fellowship with us.

[Sojourneer]

@SpiritOfAThunderbird Hebrews 11 is talking about perservering through persecution because of our hope of coming into the new promised land. Last two verses of that chapter: "These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised. God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect." It is not talking about belief and proof.

[socksumi]

The people who sent these messages were likely cognizant what they said but released them as is because of their humor value.

[4a8p9x]

These quotes have been passed around for years. I've actually read most of them on Christian sites or in Christian publications.Reader's Digest has also published a lot of them.

There's one thing I want to know though: has anyone actually seen any of these in a church bulletin?

[braddavistube]

am i the only one who wishes he could give this guy a swirly? the title "poindexter" comes to mind but that implies an interest in science which i can only assume this smegma farmer lacks.

[lovegun001]

hahaha these are awesome!

[pianomusic93]

um, not typical... just mistakes and ironic messages... way to make a retarded comment ominousone8. it isn't like this is happening all over the world every single day..

[ominousone8]

Typical Christian crap, not thinking before they do something stupid.

[ariengirl]

@ominousone8 the same you just did! you rushed and write whatever came out of your mind! what were you thinking? let me guess..mmm, nothing? For sure!

[ChurchOfKali66619]

@ominousone8 That's all Christ-tard-anity is, anyway.

[scotrinaf]

@ominousone8 I have some news for you. I am a Christian, and I admit, I make mistakes, but that doesn't make me any less of a person than you are. Christians know they are sinners saved by the Grace of Almighty God. You, on the other hand, are going to wake up in Hell one day realizing you were wrong.

[debnadaviebna]

@scotrinaf Up yours, man. Why is it always with religion, you guys say 'when you go to hell you'll know we were right', instead of 'when the all-loving creator welcomes you into heaven you'll know we were right'

[Sojourneer]

@debnadaviebna Because we'd rather you get the good welcome rather than the other. "I told you so" is no comfort to anyone. Calling attention to the invitation and the need for a decision to align yourself with Jesus at least means you had a choice. It's important who/what you choose to follow now. I am eternally grateful to those who cared enough to reach out to me when I was lost in myself. May God open your heart to his risen son, and bless you.

[debnadaviebna]

@Sojourneer that's the problem, an all-loving creator would welcome me into heaven without even caring what I did. And religions always prey on the weak, you should lnow that, I thought until recently that it's not always like that, but I have seen, religions will always try and grab people when they're down in the dumps, like poor, substance abusing, etc. It's not that they care, you're a number to them, another follower

[Sojourneer]

@debnadaviebna Nice theory on what God would do. Jesus said differently; I believe him, the only one who came from heaven, not your theory. Why would you want to be under Jesus' lordship in heaven and the new earth, and you don't want to follow him now? Makes no sense, sorry.

Jesus was also more popular among the sick and poor. Because they were the ones who were willing to listen. And he loved them, even when they turned against him. Thats how you know.

[debnadaviebna]

@Sojourneer Fuck your religion then, fuck your almighty, all-loving, all-caring and all-wise god. The book that was supposedly written by him through inspired followers is crap, I'm only as fad as Genesis 34 and it looks like a Turkish soap-opera, written by kids. There is no heaven, there probably was no one person fitting the image of Jesus, there will be no new Earth, you will die, there will be noting and you will have wasted your conceous life

[Sojourneer]

@debnadaviebna Well that was a little uncalled for rudeness. I wasn't trying to put you down, just pointing out that someone many people consider authoritative disagrees with you. And that its an important question.

[Sojourneer]

@debnadaviebna I know of a really good series of talks on "the next life" if you're interested. Its on Xenos Fellowship's site => Bible teaching => Topical => The Next Life: What if it's true. It blew me away when I listened to one of the talks last week with some friends.

[debnadaviebna]

@Sojourneer and don't go waving the bible around, the bible doesn't even prove it's own existence

[Sojourneer]

@debnadaviebna The bible obviously exists. It is a historical record for the most part, although some think the stuff up to Abraham is mythic. The really important questions are whether Jesus existed, said he was God, and resurrected from the dead. Lots of good evidence for that, both within the bible and in non-christian historical sources. Anyway, since you are down to calling names, I guess there is no point in continuing the conversation.

[debnadaviebna]

@Sojourneer Can you read? NOWHERE!!!!! Is there evidence of someone being resurrected. NOWHERE!!! Evidence points that possibly Jesus existed, but it is just as likely that he was a combined image. The existence of Santa Claus is better documented. There is NOT ONE source outside the bible at that time to claim that there was a man who could walk on water and respawn. And you holding the bible just means your sences are telling you it's there, how do you know, all of humanity could be insane

[Sojourneer]

@debnadaviebna I became a Christian at age of 18 when I experienced Jesus calling me to commit to him. I am very left-brained and I have spent over 30 years exploring what it all means. It is beautiful, and it is life-changing, and it is true. If you really want to look at the evidence, we can do that together.

I am off travelling for the next 7 days. I'll look up your posts when I come back. May God pour out his grace on you.

[debnadaviebna]

@Sojourneer Look, when I was age 9-10-11 years old I started thinking and got to the conclusion that the Bible must be a fairytale. If nowadays I start hearing Jesus first thing I'm gonna do is submit myself to a mental institution

[Sojourneer]

@debnadaviebna I don't believe in fairy tales. From the apostle Paul's 1st letter to the Corinithians, ch 15

"If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead. ... And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins."

[debnadaviebna]

@Sojourneer, yeah, it's just like this, resurrection doesn't happen, so draw your conclusions from there, faith is futile, but there is no such thing as sin, since if there is no god, then there is no one to have been sinful against. The bible is a fairytale. I recently started reading it and Genesis is all about the squabbles of nomadic tribes

[Sojourneer]

@debnadaviebna That's exactly how Paul argues. But he/they know the resurrection occurred (see my 1 John quote), so the conclusion is different. Yes, the first 2/3 of the bible is history of squabbling tribes (entering Canaan @1450BC to the last OT prophet@400BC), but the theme is disbelief and squabbling with God despite the evidence.

I think you'll get more mileage by starting with the story of Jesus as told by John, one of Jesus' close followers. Its called the Gospel according to John.

[debnadaviebna]

@Sojourneer IT. DIDN'T. HAPPEN!!!! If I say I can cycle up a vertical wall do you believe me? I know I can cycle up a vertical wall, and only by believing in my words can you be saved from the damnation of Gravity, which wants to drag you down into the underworld, where you will burn in a lake of fire. In Genesis they squabble over land, livestock, women, that kind of thing, nothing about god or evidence. There is no evidence to support the existence of god, if there was, you wouldn't need faith

[Sojourneer]

@debnadaviebna Is that the best argument you have? Miracles are called signs in the bible; that means they are inexplicable events that point to some truth. The bible is a story about people's disbelief, not about their credulity.

You are ruling out historical evidence a priori, without giving any reason for it. FYI: The first sign I is as I recall was Moses and the burning bush, in the book of Exodus, not Genesis. And then the exodus from Egypt, which is hotly disputed.

[debnadaviebna]

@Sojourneer A burning bush 3000 years ago proves your god? What tells you that the bush burned? How can you verify the account by Moses? He is the only one who saw it. Ever heard of the Delphi oracle? Think that's for real? A burning bush 3000 years ago seen by only one person proves nothing. You have no tangeable evidence that would work in a courthouse. In fact, I tell you, if there was a case 'does god exist', the verdict would only depend on the convictions of the judge

[Sojourneer]

@debnadaviebna I'm glad you bring up the judicial process (see ISBN 1896363016). And I would also add historical evidence, usually literary with archaeology just corroboratory. Two major sets of signs in the bible, the Exodus which founded ancient Israel, and the Resurrection which founded the Christian church. Evidence exists for both internally, from contemporary writings, and from cross-reference to other historical markers.

We do care that this stuff is true, as did the writers of the NT

[Sojourneer]

@debnadaviebna And apparently the Delphi Oracle(s) did exist. The scrutability & accuracy of their prophesies are a different matter. Is that your point? But from your comments, you recognize that the bible is not entirely about prophesies. In the case of Moses' claim to an encounter with God, he records it as an event, not a prophecy. In any case, he doesn't use the tale of the encounter to convince anyone (unlike some other religious leaders). Instead.. but read Exodus 4- yourself.

[debnadaviebna]

@Sojourneer when I get there. To my knowledge no one outside of the bible seems to have made a big deal out of not one, but 2 men raising from the dead (Jesus and Lasarus at least) 2000 years ago. Yet we know what has been happening between Rome and Egypt at that time and earlyer. Also, Jesus was supposedly crucified and resurrected 3 days later for the sins of humanity, but Romans have been crucifying people centuries before and after that, none of them were resurrected

[Sojourneer]

@debnadaviebna Don't follow your logic. No one claims that getting crucified is the way to get resurrection to a new Mark-II body. On Egypt and Rome, do you claim that we know detailed information about particular apart from what contemporaries wrote? Or are you using a double standard, accepting classical literature while dismissing the bible?

[debnadaviebna]

@Sojourneer No, I'm talking about historians at tthat time, who recorded those things and would have recorded this. This is like 10 wars starting in the present and all the news stations are all over that, but someone starts a tenth war with nuclear weapons and no one reports on that

[Sojourneer]

@debnadaviebna Josephus  (37-100AD): See "Josephus on Jesus" on Wikipedia e.g.

[debnadaviebna]

@Sojourneer Jesus supposedly died 4 years before this guy is born, you call that contemporary?

[Sojourneer]

@debnadaviebna Close enough. And you have given no reason that justifies dismissing the NT.

[debnadaviebna]

@Sojourneer I have every reason, otherwise you have no reason of dismissing ''The Hobbit'' as the true story of a journey by a mythical creature, nor can you dismiss the Qui'ran, (hope I'm spelling it right), all of Egyptian, Gree, Nordic, Sumerian, and etc. mythology

[Sojourneer]

@debnadaviebna Josephus (37-100AD): See "Josephus on Jesus" on , e.g. Wikipedia. But as I explained to you offline, there is no reason to dismiss the Bible's evidence which is also contemporary to the events.

[MrGlennatat]

@Sojourneer that's a very spurious double standard. Any text from any epoch can be dismissed as false if it is shown to be false, or ignored if not supported by evidence, does not agree with observation etc. nobody 'accepts' classical lit. as if it were a single document to be taken on its literal truth. A very dry strawman indeed.

[lonewolfM16]

@debnadaviebna because that wouldnt get them followers, if i go to heaven even if i dont belive then im less likely to belive but if they threaten me with eternal torture i might give it a try to be safe its simply a phsycological trick to fool stupid people.

[youfallhard]

i saw a sign for weight watchers on a building and it said to go up the stairs

[Rawk4Life]

Not beat him, but wish he'd have let the viewer read them instead of read them aloud himself? I know there are blind people on this earth, but you won't see them video surfing on Youtube.

[darkrebel01]

lol double doors hahahahaha

[gunnaringg]

tdm36s is what u should call this ;)

[pregnantlameboy]

lol

"up yours"

hahahaha

this is great!

[fmc5564]

lol liked the last one too

[999VINCENT666]

lol

[lazyguy618]

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