Ask Swifty - Ask Swifty - [Episode 53]

[RipleyShaine]

His eyes are beautiful xD

[shadow7014]

6:01 swifty has one blue eye and one green one

[msbellewinter]

why have the views gone down so much? this guys fucking hilarious which makes him awesome. and the fact that he can be serious just makes him even more awesome haha.

[renateey]

Fast clicking 8 xD

[maksojakasvaapuissa]

DAT BEARD.. dear god its gorgeous!

[tessalakey]

Kangaroo testacle. DEAR LORD YES.

[AhoyThereFrankie]

thanxxx swifty you made me lose my fork.

[AhoyThereFrankie]

@AhoyThereFrankie never mind i found it:D

[gaveZexionMyHeart]

STD= Swify Transmitted Disease

[KymSaysHello]

you're my favorite. i've been watching these for the past three years and you never cease to make me practically pee my pants laughing. THANK YOU. FOR BEING HILARIOUS.

[jmpatti55]

your way to homo

[jellojello17]

@swiftkaratechop Holy shit. Swifty acknowledged my existence..:O

[Mystin857]

You are TRUE inspiration! Thank you so very much! XD

[AVeNGeDSeVeNFOLD1120]

do you smoke weed?

[chicadeethatsme]

No, a legit STD name would be Gonoherpasyphiclapatitis....

Which is: gonorrhea, herpes, syphilis, chlamydia, and then ALL the hepatitis... In one disease...

[swiftkaratechop]

@chicadeethatsme that does sound legit lol

[chicadeethatsme]

@swiftkaratechop Lol, yeah, my friend came up with it like 6 years ago, and we all still use it.

[KitanaLili]

and as for my weird question to you since I don't really ask you weird questions like that is: " If you were in front of your favorite celebrity and you had to let one loose, would you take that opportunity to let it go?"

[KitanaLili]

ok so I love the fact that you have the serious question time on your videos, cause some of the things you say really helps, even when the person watching didn't ask. Also the fact that you said Saya. epic. XD

[BucketOfEpic]

Swifty, Why Do You Remind Me Of Chris Crocker? :L. THERE WILL ONLY BE ONE CHRIS CROCKER!

[lanieareeah22]

Force them to get a really cute puppy. Dude. It works

[MqLuvvaLuvva19]

I had swollen lymph nodes there too man!! I needed em removed.. it was fine though

[AirBoom2012]

do comment questions forever man



[bittybop1994]

So I've never asked u a question, but I've been watching your vids since before ask swifty started. (compleatly unrelated) what do you do for a living?

[keraganface]

so I have a question fo ryou my good man:3 your song that you play in the beginning of your ask swifty videos what does it say!? O.o

[THluvr898887]

you should! (answer questions form the comments)

like this one: did you ever have a girlfriend who thought you were totally insane?

[Cerbaal]

Just to say that I have watched ask swifty since the very first video.

Honestly though, I don't understand why people want "the old swifty" back.

I mean, sure, you've changed. But we all grew up and I feel you've grown with us, which makes you all the more relatable. Anyway, I just wanted to say this ^^

[thesplashingpebbles]

sorta

[thesplashingpebbles]

your really good at answering seriously

[livvyificationable]

You should get a blue tiger eye neckless. It decreases sex drive... Or u could just be a freaken babe and get a red tiger eye to increase it ;D x

[MichelleWiseLive]

@swiftypwns He is! :D

[EmoSkittlezz]

How do you come up with your video Ideas?? I love them, I'm not sure why everyone is saying "I miss the "Old Swifty"!!" I think they just miss the hair.....But. I still love you!!! :D

[iloveyoumorr]

@swiftkaratechop thanks :)

[Thesoaplover01]

HAHA ;D i love swifty

[DanniiG12i]

Omfg, 08:42 xDDDDDDDDDD

[razzyfight]

i have one of those crystas! :D except its onyx to help me be stronger :D

[iloveyoumorr]

I was really upset while watching this because my boyfriend broke up with me and I wouldn't stop crying. So I was all "Go watch Swifty!" and so I picked this episode and it made me laugh and I was happy. The depression talk about the girl and stuff made me open my eyes a little. Although I'm still depressed -/3 *sigh* ohwell. You should be a psychiatrist. Maybe you might answer this question... Maybe. What do you do to get over a hard break-up?

[swiftkaratechop]

@iloveyoumorr :D hope ur feel better! :D

[Iamsam814]

Swifty. I was watching to turtles humping the other day. It kinda turned me on. Is that weird?

[BROKE184]

is it possible to break an air guitar if so how

[tob3r21]

Would you rather have to go on all of your dates completely spray tanned orange, or be printed in a newspaper for being employee of the month at a dildo factory?

[Dvandy24]

wayyyyyyyyyyyy toooooooooo much cutting of your vid.

[BrittanyBorderline13]

Hey Swifty. Will you be my Valentine? <3 (Your so funny.)

[MashiroBou]

the creepy thing is that your and my eye colour is exactly the same oO

it´s like looking into a mirrow (only the eyes ^^)

[swiftkaratechop]

@MashiroBou :D coolio! theres a small filter on these videos though, so my eyes are a little different in person :o

[101staton]

WWWHHHHEEEEERRRRREEEEEE TTTTHHHHHHEEEEEE FFFFFFUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK HHHHHHHAAAAVVVVVVVEEEE YYYYYYYOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU BBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE­NNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!

[Ubertroll94]

WHERE THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN

[Ubertroll94]

where the fuck have you been

[xxlaughingtwinsxx]

We subscribed :) heres the question ... If you were sent to a desert island and were only aloud to take one thing (no family members or pets) what would it be?

[GothikSecret]

Would you do Steven Tyler's Oh face During Sexy time? Nothing Strange at all..... t(0,xt)

[FatehaRahman1]

do you talk to yourself off camera as well?

[thejerrymobile]

Hey, weird... my birthstone is tiger's eye... According to some... thing... Yeah.

[xorandomind]

make.a.tumblr.(:

[emoskeleanimal]

Matt your so funny your my favorite youtuber all your ask swifty videos make me actually laugh out loud i love you<3

[theninjabackflip]

what would you do if a smurf crawled up your butthole and established "SMURFVILLE" in your butthole? does that count as sexual harassment?

[megamooneyfry]

What would you do if u found out tht u best friend elephant was cheating on a fish tht liked to flirt with m&m poop

[RunningFromLions666]

What would you do if Sopa and Pipa passed?

[baw1369]

lol texas aint depressing i live here and am from michigan, good job on helping

[ULOOKN]

HAHA THIS GUY IS THE TRUTH...AND WHOS THE IDIOTS WHO PUT 22 THUMBS DOWN?

[jasmen73317]

Hey swifty, why dont u shave anymore? U look way more sexy with no beard. :)

[Orestiss7]

OMG!!! i just watched the "i am gay" video as i was going through my favourites and then clicked on this one!! i was so surprised!!

[Elvapop]

This actually made me feel so much better. Thank you, just thank you. I've been watching your videos for ages, and I've always loved when you get serious and talk about serious stuff, it's inspirational and you made feel happy when no one else tried. Thank you so much for making videos.

They make me laugh,smile and cry of laughter. C:

[tankbos]

hey swifty my friend just recelnly moved to a new school andhe cant make any friends because people found out he went to a rival school and now their calling him a gay faggot and keep messing with hime i cant figure out what to do he told his mom and teachers and none of them care

[tankbos]

hey swifty if bruce lee and chuck norris were in a fight with you wuld you have sex with an cow

?

[rtucker11886]

hey swifty, what would you do if both your hands fell off?

[killercarbears]

every time you said mentality i thought of fatality and mortal combat...i then played 30 seconds after watching this....after ive already played it 11 hours straight .....*face palm*... i need a life v.v

[StarCrossedFates]

What and where are lymp noids?? (sp?)

Can you put a diagram/medical picture thingy mah jig up kuse I have no idea what it is

[4isthecool1]

What would you do if your grandmother bit your pocket?

[meatballnews]

hey swifty what would you do with an apple, a book and a lamp shade???

just wondering

[dakotawint]

460,000 subs and you only get 20,000 views? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY­Y

[3rdsidetriangle]

ur intro is one of my favorite its so awesome

[southernvamps13]

@MatthewBrianBrown Which might be why I said "a god", not God...

[Zarelous]

I swear he sometimes has one blue eye and one green eye... Either way, his eyes are so hypnotisingly pretty...If it was humanly possibly to get born with a condition where your eyes change colours depending on your mood, would you want that condition.

[swiftkaratechop]

@Zarelous we al actually do have that, it has to do with how much oxygen is being pumped into your eyes, and alot of that factors off how you emotionally feel.

[TheRockergirl82]

@swiftkaratechop Really? Our eyes really do that? What are you a genius? O.O

[happinessgoesaround]

If you were a crayon what color would you be and why?

[AlanisNashXD]

matthew brian brown... i love how you have such a normal name for such a wierd (in a good way!!) person! much love for le new ask swiftys too!

[BobLikesApples0]

just watched the very first ask swifty because I hadn't watched him in a long time then I watched this and he is sooo old!

[Tiddalsrox]

I'd be happy if You came to Alaska I'd look alittle less weird :B

[BOBATAC]

no too short more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!­!!

[aly2771]

If you saw a rainbow colored baby, what would you do.

[untameabletiger]

Why can't you be younger :x I want to hug You n.n and steal your eyes

[KawaiiRobot]

OMIGAWD, you like Blood +? Me too.

[Deathfromcows]

If you had to choose cutting off your dick and eating it or ripping your balls off and making ballsona what would you choose?

[arualaura1000]

no questions, yet.... just compliments for now! :) Your so silly, and very smart. Been watching your videos for a long time! :D ur awesome!!! ~Laura

[sarahlovesfood]

You look like Jesus in this video..

[AlyssaApocalypse76]

Who would you have sex with between Midna (both forms) or zelda? ( If you dont know what im talking about just google legend of zelda twilight princess or pics of midna or zelda) ;D

[badnewsballet]

DEAR SWIFTY:

would you make sexy time with a pillow pet, what kind of pillow pet?????? 0.o

[CampasorusRex]

Boobies, Whats ur take?

[imawesome519]

ITS THE EYE OF THE TIGER ITS THE THRILL OF THE FIGHT!!!!!

if you were eating a really yellow banana and the kool-aid man burst in with a larger but equally yellow banana and pointed it at you would monkeys come from the ceiling?

[t2s3e4n6]

Can we get married and then can i stare into your eyes forever? ... :D i love you!!! -3 -3

[CowBFFL]

can i have sex with your eyes!!!

[randomFailz]

PIRATES OR NINJAS?! :3

[ToxicNeonLove]

Omg i love smosh...and u 2 matt

Teleporting fat guy

[sandytittys]

Who's your favorite DBZ character, and why?

[southernvamps13]

If you were a god for only one day, what would you do? Only one day though. And no making yourself a god for more that a day.

[MatthewBrianBrown]

@southernvamps13 as God you would naturally be God for more than one day, whether u say yes or no, bc God exist in a dimension without space & time, so what you consider a day could be eternity for God.

[dashingcupcake]

Hey,Swifty! Just curious. How are you?

[MegaFAILUREbyDESIGN]

yo swifty im a new viewer of yours but your already badass haha but yea i gotta question for your serious questions ok what would you do if you liked this girl and you found out she liked you to but then you just mess it up right away by saying i liked you to thats why i helped you so much and she took it wrong like i only helped her to get with her

[GDdancerzz]

Hey! swifty! what does the FTW in your intro stand for?!

[conversepunk14]

Would you ever collaborate with Capndesdes?

[justinwatkins235]

Hey Swifty I got a question for you. What if Jill cheated on you with many men and didn't love you anymore? o.O

[boxershortsablee]

Damn Matt, you got all deep there.

YOU'VE GROWN UP SO FAST :')

[RaresRawrs]

What would you do if the you woke up and a teletubby was standing over your bed with a pair of scissors and your hair in his hand?

[RaresRawrs]

8:20 MY QUESTION FINALLY ANSWERED!!!

[RockMan757]

I started eating cheez-its when this video began. After it ended, I looked down and the entire box was gone.

[MatthewBrianBrown]

@RockMan757 lol epicccccccc om nom

[pirate936]

6:25 - 6:49 I feel motivated.

[Saralovesguard4ever]

I love Blood+! Such a good anime! And Sia is pretty awesome, I'd tap that.

[MatthewBrianBrown]

@Saralovesguard4ever its epic! :D

[ImAEpicDinosaur]

My mom is dieing she aint my real mom but my real mom is in prison so she all that i have and she trying to push everybody away. She has told me to go to hell. So i just really need some answers. Okay bye. Have a god bless da.

[danyo133]

@ImAEpicDinosaur I feel sorry for you but admit it your just attention seeking on youtube.

[MatthewBrianBrown]

@ImAEpicDinosaur i dont think a mom is defined by who gave birth to you. ive addressed my friends moms as my other mothers and stuff. i call my aunt my other mother too :P

well if i can help i will try, but i dont have all the answers, but i will try to help you find them :X if u wanna try emailing me or facebook messaging me.

[rainbow2ish]

do you watch Supernatural?just a question.btw PENISSSSSSSSSSS

[MatthewBrianBrown]

@rainbow2ish ive seen a few episodes! :D pretty awesome

[ImAEpicDinosaur]

My mom is dye

[bluenwhite16]

Okay I have another serious question...

I was talking to my ex, trying to figure out why we broke up in the first place (i broke up with him) I thought he still had feelings for my best friend and he told me he doesn't anymore, but he didn't date me to make her jealous and everything, but as im talking to him, im also talking to my best friend and she told me he's complaining under his breath how he doesn't want to talk to me. I just checked my mail again and he's asking for a second chance

[bluenwhite16]

@bluenwhite16 WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!! ...wwsd?

[cheeseandchrackers]

I know your not trying to, but it seems like you're making light of a clinical disorder. Depression runs in my family so I have had a lot of observing experience. I too am one of those people who can be happy by pure will, but not everyone is that type of person.

[MatthewBrianBrown]

@cheeseandchrackers everyone IS that type of person :) everyone has the endless amount of potential bottled up inside themselves, people are just scared to let it out, or they have forgotten how because the New World tells them that it doesnt exist, that theres a set of laws they have to follow to achieve things. but the thing is the true set of laws were created when we were. :) you are capable of anything you choose, i bet someone could actually become a bird if they tried hard enough ;P lol

[MatthewBrianBrown]

@cheeseandchrackers i just feel like were better than this, and i know we are. its people who have lost faith in themselves and rely on all this outside world junk. if you discover your innerself you will discover the outside infinitely. the universe within you is as endless as our own, your just looking at an extremely zoomed out version of yourself in the mirror. try not to be whipped by people who only want to make money in this lifetime.

[cheeseandchrackers]

@MatthewBrianBrown Read through some of your other comments to people and I now get what you're trying to say. You know that depression exists but feel that there are better ways of dealing with it than taking medication. I thought you were taking depression out of the equation completely. I completely get that and agree. Though i still believe that medication can do some good. I do not think i would have either a father or a sister if they had not taken something to control their depression.

[cheeseandchrackers]

@MatthewBrianBrown btw I love your videos! :D <3

[Findzhiits]

lol wasnt  /user/johnsju first Swifty?

[TheOnlyBomberman]

TELEPORTING FAT GUY xD

[MissxKrystalxLee]

depression is a chemical imbalance and people cant just turn it off. You can try but it isn't always that easy, hence medication.

[MatthewBrianBrown]

@MissxKrystalxLee so according to what you just said. chemicals. imbalance. well through meditation and other methods you can literally tell your brain to produe certain chemicals and to stop producing them. its 100% proven, but just make fun of monks and other people bc they dont understand what they are doing. Clinically proven depression is a scapegoat for people to make millions of dollars of misdiagnosed patients. look at some methods that have existed throughout time, and still exist.

[MatthewBrianBrown]

@MissxKrystalxLee goodluck! forreal :) but i totally know u can do it :P

[MatthewBrianBrown]

@MissxKrystalxLee i will not allow this to be a top comment, without people hearing what i said lol :P so please read my responses to this person. realize what your putting in your body as the "supposed" cure.

[wadesloth]

do you like australians

[xLAngry]

if you woke up as a chick whats the first thing you would do?

[ulktz]

YOU ARE NOT SWIFTY

[FracturedFrames]

I thought you were brushing your teeth.

[jackisgangs]

hae go to your youtube inbox ive got an inportant question

[mrsniperscream]

I you wake up in the middle of the Central Park in New York and it turns out you don't have any clothes on apart from your socks, what would you do?

[ProbablyConnor]

Swifty answered my question C: Might as well try for another:

I'm from the future. Did you know that you'll be the father of my children?

PS: Yes, I'm a guy.

[TeenageDisgrace]

Would you have sex with the worlds HOTTEST dude?

[harris2210]

Ouch! That headbutt really hurt

[jackisgangs]

hae swifty can you go to your inbox on youtube ive got a question for you

[jackisgangs]

@jackisgangs

[Hidethecake]

If you were stuck on an island with; a prostitute with every STD/STI possible, an edible strawberry cactus or a whale... what would you do first?

[LambOfGod1996]

Why do girls ask all the question 8 ones?

[amoexanimo]

O.o also, I didn't know you watched Blood+. That anime is one of my favorites.

[amoexanimo]

Nice shirt =)