Bipolar and Me, Part 1: Acceptance

[macmurphy95]

Thanks for posting up such a helpful video. I was diagnosed finally with BiPolar 2 at age 39. I think the right diagnosis helps with acceptance and with planning how to deal proactively with the illness. I really wish you well

[MrSpemat]

I started getting manic every summer at age 4 and have always been hyperactive, for me I have done best on Depakote and Ritalin as a combo that helps me all year and my attitude toward mania is to laugh about it...  cruising in limos, thinking one had powers, thinking everyone is in love with you and robbing drug dealers and laughing about it... is therapeutic because it laughs off the worst of it it rather than shames it... many geniuses are manic depressives... Kay Redfield Jamison is bipolar.

[Nautilus1972]

Hey man, first thing - get off the drugs. Talk to therapists by all means, but keep away from GPs and people pushing drugs on you. SSRIs etc. mask the problem not address it. I beat depression without their drugs but it's a long process of just hanging in there and reading the teachings of Buddha (worked for me at least) and NOT taking their drugs. We create our own reality, we choose how we feel. Once this starts to sink in you can get better. It does not last forever.

[Nautilus1972]

@Nautilus1972 I was suicidal for about five years, and alcohol and other drugs didn't help. Maybe LSD and shrooms did, they opened my mind and helped me to explore the workings of my mind and the universe and my place in it. Now I find life amazing. I don't drink or do drugs and quit smoking, I've got two amzing twin girls and it's all good. There is light at the end of the tunnel, hang in there, but get off ADs if you're on them. Yoiu will come out so strong on the other side, I promise.

[Creationcentral]

I read a comment on here that the feeling is like "stuck in your head". I had the same thing. Through a miracle / process, I am gradually coming back to my normal self. It has been two years! I used to listen to techno music. It stimulates my brain and helps for some reason. I noticed the music you were playing in the video was the same kind of songs I listened to. I find that not having school or work for 4+ months, listening to calm techno / trance music helps. I believe I can come back.

[Creationcentral]

@Creationcentral Before I had no control over my actions, just feeling i am "going along for the ride" and more of an observer of my actions. After quitting my job, I enjoyed Christmas, and then I tried to go to college. Too 2 classes. Had to drop both because I just could not focus. so then I enjoyed doing nothing for 4 months. Now taking 2 summer classes online. I feel being social, listening to music, avoiding stress will help bipolar people (and me) return to normal. Have routine is good.

[Creationcentral]

I was called Bipolar long ago as a kid. I of course disagreed and didn't know what it was. Then, after getting a girlfriend and breaking up with her 9 months later, I started my first job. The job was extremely stressful in some cases where I had to manage the whole store by myself. With all this stress, I totally lost my mind. Like a window being broke, my mind shattered.

[soymiguelalejandro23]

Great video papa I am Miguel from the states and I live with Schizoaffective Disorder which is a mix of Schizophrenia and Bi Polar Disorder. Yes it certainly is a disability and a major one. This can end our lives as we are more prone to committing suicide than the general population and our brains are not working quite as well in some areas such as mood regulation and executive function to name just a few that can be critical for holding down work and taking care of ourselves etc.

[xXxXBleedPurpleXxXx]

I hate being bipolar, it's been the biggest burden by far and it's not the first time I'll say I'm sick of it. I hate having no control over myself it's insanity a person is supposed to have a realistic level of control over their own self. Stuck in your own head is a good way to put it. I'm tired of the fact that no one understands it unless they have it or a medical degree and even then it can't be explained. I'm 27, diagnosed at 9, and I dread knowing it's never going away.

[mollysangelique]

hoe,ga,je,ermee,om,ik,heb,lich­t,kan,niet,vinden,jy,bedoelt,m­ns 5,of,zo,hy,heeft,het,anders,zi­e,ik

[AaronDLambert]

I'm having a lot of the same problems that you are. I literally hate myself because I've lost so many jobs and haven't been able to control my disorder. It's not only affected my career but my relationships as well. A lot of times I feel like I'm a prisoner in my own mind like I'm stuck in a padded room or something... What sucks for me is that I can't seem to force myself to go to therapy... So many things anger me about my life that I just don't want to have anything to do with anyone...

[Jack2daBeat]

@AaronDLambert Hi that is the exact same way I feel like your stuck inside your head and you just cant get out.

[abominableangel]

which bipolar type are you? im bipolar 2

[theghostlywhisper1]

im facing the fact that i may have bipolar and it scares the shit outta me. im really anxious about making an appointment to see my gp but guess i'll have to. im not a hypochondriac by the way lol

[91Metaman91]

Dude you just don't know when to shut up... What's all that crap have to do with bipolar disorder? The way you think no wonder you were in a nut house (I was in one two, twice, I know how they work). Learn some fucking respect the recury asked us to stop having a childish arguement on his pg. Why not respect him and do so?

[recury]

@91Metaman91 & @marvelous211

Guys, I don't want the comments section of this video to turn into a platform for other people to argue their political leanings, beliefs or race issues. Please stop making assumptions about each other and if you must, please continue your discussion via more private means.

I wont tolerate any accusations or inflammatory language designed to provoke other people.

Thanks.

[GuruChaaz]

@recury I appreciate your videos and the fact that you address that this is a post about helping people and not about politics.

[91Metaman91]

Maybe you even have an issue with mental illnesses, or maybe even the fear of someone being in control over you...

[marvelous211]

@91Metaman91 Maybe you are just a racist delusional white American, or maybe fear of China taking as the only superpower.

I was threatened by your government over my life not to talk about all that went down and teach my kids that Jesus is taking over... And that China and Russia are the enemies.

[91Metaman91]

@marvelous211 I'm not racist, and not white! China the only superpower? What happened to Russia, Iran, North Korea, the U.K. , etc. I'm not chirstian either... You really need to grow up!

[marvelous211]

@91Metaman91 Does a racist say I'm racist?

Did your former president have sexual relations with monica lewsinsky? You either playing a fool or just another American retard.

Your government tried to dictate and ravage my life for nearly 10 years until whatever they they think about me. When that was done forced into your mental facility where I was forced chemicals.

[marvelous211]

@91Metaman91

Talk about unconstitutional let the world should know Funny thing is all I did was come to a public place where your thought police didn't want me to come.

[91Metaman91]

@marvelous211 You said all that bullshit and still didn't prove how bipolar disorder isn't real. Goddamn that even further proves my point, that you have some other issues! You hate white ppl, hate americans, hate christians, lemme guess these are all the types of ppl that you feel has mistreated you?

[91Metaman91]

You're extremely cute!

[mentalhealthhelpUK]

Is the person you're seeing a CPN? we have also had positive experiences with the support of CPNs :)

[recury]

@mentalhealthhelpUK

Hello there :)

The person I was seeing in Southampton was a CPN. I believe the individual I am seeing now at the CMHT in Lambeth is also a CPN. I have had mixed experiences in the last few years however, it really does depend on the patient/CPN relationship, in my opinion.

[mentalhealthhelpUK]

@recury Good point, we agree that it varies so much by the CPN and how well a patient can connect with them :)

[rakh1962]

I'm at the same acceptance stage that you are. Thank you so much for sharing. Big hugs to you!

[FATGAINER100]

Is it just disability living allowance and job seekers allowance you recieve, or are there others? Any help greatly appreciated, R.

[recury]

@FATGAINER100

Hello,

In respect of benefits, this appears to be somewhat of a mine-field, particularly for those with mental health issues. In my opinion, it is not made clear enough by the government or the DWP as to what an individual is entitled to. This is probably because an application needs to be made before you know if you are legible.

At present I am in receipt of long-term Incapacity Benefit and Disability Living Allowance. From my experience, 'you wont know until you try"

[FunNotNuts]

Hello, I'm bipolar also and on disability and find it is very difficult to just live when I am reminded constantly that I am surviving on only 62% of the poverty rate for a single person in this city. Something a disabled person needs is their dignity. I'm afraid that costs too much and I can't afford it.

I lived with this disorder since I was a little kid and I'm 60 now and have only been on assistence and meds for 3 years. You can imagine what a ride I've had.

My love to you brother xxx

[henrikk21]

By the way, in Brazil, Bipolar Condition is in the third place, regarding all people living on health benefits.

[ahenderson666]

@henrikk21 -Number 6 on the WHO's list.

[henrikk21]

I know exactly what you're talking about. My life is a chaos due to my ups and downs. My last rush, I was on a high and lost £4000 gambling at the casino, after that spent days at home locked up in my room crying and planning my suicide.

[Anonpeace]

It certainly can make things harder. For example, before I was even aware I was bipolar, I was racking up credit card debt with crazzzzzyy spending sprees. I dropped $1500 on a month in clothing, and I don't even care about fashion. It felt so exciting to get things in the mail. Now I can work through the shame of having $12,000 in credit card debt with nothing to show for it. I am going to file bankruptcy. I hope with all my heart I don't repeat the same mistakes.

[greenelf12]

I think a lot of things that can be seen as a disability, or disorder can be disputed I struggle to see how normal can be seen as normal other than the fact that it's the most popular state of being, evreyone in the world as disadantages in acoradance to the way we are.

[heptagraman]

hugs

[basgt1]

Thank you! Because of your effort to put this up? I have discovered DBT. Thank you so very much. Hang in there and pursue the mindfulness. It does help. You are kind and brave. B

[marvelous211]

Dude you are a tard.

Far as I know everyone in the world is bipolar. If you push someone far enough they will break. That's bipolar. It's not an illness but western way of profiling such things. US government uses this to push immigrants into this condition to spread what they call Assimilation while immigrants lives are torn apart inside out acting like spooks.

[kusifru]

@marvelous211

dude, you're a tard.

You have no frickin idea of what you're talking about. Bipolar is no goddamn joke.

[marvelous211]

@kusifru Oh but I do. I can see why bipolar is no joke. You just showed signs of being bipolar. Getting angry who can't control your feelings just because someone left a comment on youtube video. LOL...

[recury]

@marvelous211 & kusifru

Hey guys,

Please don't argue, we are each entitled to our own opinions, it is the nature of each and everyone of our unique perspectives.

I uploaded this set of videos to discuss some thing that I felt was relevant and important to share with others who might be going through the same thing. In a sense, it was a means of determining if there was anyone out there who could understand.

Thanks for taking the time to watch it and I hope it has helped in some way too.

[91Metaman91]

@marvelous211 You have no idea what you're talking about... Being emotional, and having your emotions change is normal. Having mood swings is totally different, and is def. not natural. Maybe you should do more research, Mood disorders are not the same as a normal shift in emotion.

[marvelous211]

@91Metaman91 Oh sure I do. US use bi-polar to force people to consume pills as torture. Oh yes there are pills that make you lose your motor controls. When in fact the victim doesn't have any mental health problems at all.

[91Metaman91]

@marvelous211 It is true that most meds have horrible side effects, and it is true that ppl get misdiagnosed all the time. That doesn't mean that bipolar disorder isn't a true disease.

[91Metaman91]

@marvelous211 It is true that most meds have horrible side effects, and it is true that ppl get misdiagnosed all the time. That doesn't mean that bipolar disorder isn't a true disease.

[marvelous211]

@91Metaman91 Bi-polar is mental stress from your surroundings. Particularly around racist American white society who target minorities to play racist games. To extract information out of the victims, American white society use bullying tactics and mind games to get a reaction out of victim to either a yes or no scenario. In which case there are hundreds of variables even the smartest minds won't know all. When the victim can't take it anymore they burst into rage.

Ex. Cho Seung Hui.

[91Metaman91]

@marvelous211 Uhhh, na. One doesn't have to have a stressful surrounding to be bipolar. Most ppl that are bipolar have repeatedly abuse as a child. Children are extremely sensitive and most of the traits a person has from childhood that keep with them forever because they are hard to break. Ex.: If a child is drilled a certian religion into their heads as a child as an adult they might not be able to change they religion as an adult, even if they don't believe in it.

[marvelous211]

@91Metaman91 Uhaa Ya. When white society play racist games on minorities and then force people into American mental facility only to get tortured by medications that make you lose your motor control and can't move. You Americans call it Assimilation. You violate human rights and commit crimes against minorities. You are a joke!

[91Metaman91]

@marvelous211 Someone could be raped and carry on that fear for the rest of their lives, eventhough that stress or danger is no longer present. One can go into battle, come home and still be stress eventhough they are not in the same surroundings. A portion of bipolar ppl in America are white so don't play the race card. Rages? lol That proves that you don't know what you're talking about, a good portion of bipolar ppl never go through rages. Maybe you have an issue with race...

[marvelous211]

@91Metaman91 You sound like mental basket case. Cho Seung Hui is prime example how this rage took over and went on a killing rampage only to kill himself. He's obviously getting back at your white society for the mental anguish you've put that kid through.

You guys did it to me and I'm sure I'm not the last.

[91Metaman91]

@marvelous211 Now I know for that it's something that you are going through personally, but you're blaming everyone ellse for your issues. What's the matter you get bullied too much by white kids in school, you have low self-esteem about being asian?! Give me a fucking break! I can see right through you! Your issue is def. not with the white american community, it's YOU!

[marvelous211]

@91Metaman91 Young ass American degenerate! Your society if you don't know use bully and scare tactic on immigrants to force US imperialistic agenda upon immigrants because an immigrant didn't smile back at white man when mistreated. US use thought police to interrogate the victim using 10 year bullying tactics to whatever unconstitutional US interrogate. US tries to use scare tactics by forcing drugs that make lose motor control. US is a zoo for faggots and mass murderers. You a joke!

[91Metaman91]

@marvelous211 A mental basket case? So mental illnesses are real...? Also, many kids get bullied for many reasons! Not just asian kids. Cho Seung Hui was a person who was abused, an as a result he had "little man syndrome", the ppl that idiot killed didn't do anything to him. It's funny how you can call me a mental basket case, and support him (because he was a hurt asian living in america). That tells me alot about you.

[sam077088]

I can relate to your 'ups and downs', great video, keep smiling ;-)

[ClassySassy79]

Hi, thank you so much for putting this up. I've been diagnosed with bipolar about 3 months ago and like you, I'm going through rapid cycling which is no fun at all :-( You mentioned TBC, my psychiatrist never mentioned that to me, however they wanna get me into CBT. If you come up with any coping strageties please share them (if you can) :-) In the meantime stay strong - you're not alone xx PS: I can relate so well to your video and I'm sure tons of other people can too so thank you again x

[Jamieoo77]

Good video mate, ive got it and you just have to take it one day at a time. Exercise helps. Good luck

[matthieus2]

Thanks for uploading this.

[pol1491]

you tell it like it is my friend its a fuckin curse

[BlogFly]

get out of therapy it a scam man i really mean it the drugs they use are so messed up dont take the medication get ur own help ive been there man i mean it its a scam

[ThaSoulFya]

Yeahhh a lot of us with BPD told ourselves that for years& finally, when the disorder takes over ur entire life NO MATTER WHAT U TRY TO DO TO "CONTROL" IT, u need to come to terms w/the fact that u need therapy/meds!! It is a CHEMICAL imbalance&u need meds to control that. I rejected em 4 years& that choice proved detrimental in the long-run. ACCEPTANCE is so important, like Lee is saying here.&TBH it really pisses me off to read comments like that orhear my friends tell me that.They've no idea.

[ANTJMS]

What a brave video for you to post Lee. I hope your therapy helps you overcome or live with your illness, and you receive the support you deserve from all who love you.

Please keep your buddys close and continue to discover new ways to deal with this.

All the best and once again - Bravo! - for taking the huge step in addressing this in public. Cheers Anthony

[Elistios]

Great video and belive me i can relate ^-^ you take care! Peace, Ken ^-^ v

[Xephon212]

What are you listening to in the background? It sounds familiar but I cant place it.

[recury]

@Xephon212

I had a compilation mix I had put together (I like to make "mix-tapes" for fun) which I had playing in background while I was talking. It depends what song was playing at what time in the video for me to be able to identify it.

[jerickzane]

@Xephon212 Dragonette -  Here I Go

[Xephon212]

@jerickzane Thanks!

[Xephon212]

I'm 28 and was recently diagnosed with bipolar. Thanks for sharing your experience. I'd write more but I'm still trying to deal with the shock of the diagnosis. It fits me, but it's hard to accept straight off.

[divymn]

I have a new friend with the same thing and this is helping me understand him. Thank you, just what I was looking for!

[him1087]

Great video Lee