Added: 5 years ago
From: Chadner
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  • Are John Cleese's chevrons on upside-down?

    Somehow that just makes the sketch complete.

  • That's a very nice military base you've got there... Would be a shame if something were to... Happen... To it...

  • "Oh sorry Colonel..." XD

  • michael palin's character reminds me of danny from withnail and i

  • ....thats a very nice house you have there ;) (creeper voice)

  • @thebigbadwolf96 I am Dave!Yognaut *Salutes*

  • Nice video you got 'ere, Colonel! Be a shame if someone were to... dislike it, eh, Colonel?

  • man, what model are those glasses? i want those! anyone know? : D

  • Things burn....

  • thumbs up if you would appear in a frontal nude scene

  • Aww, the sketch was cut short. I would have wanted it to continue a few more lines:

    "I'm a Coward, sir. My father was a Coward and his father was a Coward before him, sir. I come from a long, healthy line of Cowards, sir. My grandfather, Henry S. Coward, left the army before the big civil war."

  • @2hakkabakka oh you made my day!

  • @Sovietsam1

    "Well that's no reason to leave the army, private. How fast can you run?"

    "Well that depends on what I'm running from, sir. I've been running from personal issues all my life, but nothing makes me run quite as fast as the sound of a starting gun. I bet I'd be the top of my PE class if I would ever dare to show up."

    "You sound like a natural. Have you considered the 5th Batallion of Strategical Retreat?"

    "Strategical Retreat, sir?"

    "Yes, let's view an instructional video:"

    ...

  • That guy could learn much from the Gurkahs. "Better to die than be a coward." Pacifist is simply out of the question.

  • @LivingCrusader which is where the humour comes from

  • Comment removed

  • Shut up, you eye-tie!

  • Right I'm ending this sketch, no, no, Its been five minutes and I havn't heard a funny line in the whole thing.

  • @Wowfang It's only 'cause you couldn't think of a punch line!

  • this is really bad quality it needs re-uploading, but other than that its a great sketch when it works.

  • our lads don't have enough kit to be destroyed!

  • My favorite sketch of the pythons

  • Look, I stopped your sketch five minutes ago, so get out of shot!

  • what if the colonel actually took the deal??

  • what is the name of the song of the intro ??? 0:19?

  • The Beer Barrel Polka

  • You just couldn't think of a punchline.

    Quiet.

  • @ErichoTTA It's still funny without a punch line. And I am not even british.

  • Me bruvver's clumsy!

  • I have a request. Could you put all the monty python-clips that you put up here, in a playlist so they are easier to find?

    Nice initiative!

  • I agree.

  • ...cause'.....'fings break, dunnay?...

    ahahah my favorite skit

  • I love michael palin in this...

  • "I'm not a pacifist. I'm a coward."

  • "That's a very silly lie"

  • its as though you think we are all deaf? we watched the video...

  • @Finnishbastard

    You didn't listen clearly; he said a very silly LINE; the Colonel was known to point out when things got too silly and abruptly end sketches that got too silly.

  • line

  • @coolmccool5 im a pacifist and a coward!

    WIN/WIN!

  • Okay! Cue the cartoon.....

    No more of yours! I've ended your too silly sketch. Now continue!.......

  • Genius...

  • I love graham c in this!

  • lol this is one of the best sketches they made! doe anyone know the music at 0.26 - 0.34?

  • tis 'Roll Out The Barrel'

  • thank you!

  • The chap who had this concept dreamed up should get a medal of honour.

  • "No sir, not a pacifist sir, I'm a coward."

    Love that line. :)

  • I answered that when I was asked if I was joining Civil Service for ethical reasons, such as pacifism.

  • I think, if you cant grasp the sheer humor of this with absoloutely bizzare and off the bat punchlines and scenes, its probably not the humor for you. the best way to look at it is, a protection racket would go round small shops and threaten them, but when someone says they have tanks and soldiers, its completley barmy. then they haggle at the end lol also a division of paratroopers cant catch fire lol, so its like they have scripted a few gangsters and changed the things they threaten lol :)

  • this is silly

  • Eric Idle is obviously paranoid. Still, the Health and Safety Exec must surely be concerned about the Army - and warfare in general. I suspect that they'll stop people going to war without a license.

  • he isn't

  • oh yea whoops thats the guy who was gay

  • "Set fire to them??"

    "Fires happen, colonel..."

    "Things burn..."

    haha =) they look so cool in this scene <3

    But I really like Eric Idle in the beginning too

  • "you've got a pretty nice army and don't want anything to happen to it!!":)))

  • @Medora12 Isss that a referenccce?

  • AND THE FRENCH RESISTANCE

  • Oh, you're no fun anymore!

  • Right, these comments are getting too silly. I'm stopping them :D

  • Stopping, eh? So you want to stop them...what a foolish idea...I'd be afraid then that something really might break near you...

    :D

  • Are you threatening me? :D

  • Who, me?

    Oh, no, no, nooo....I'd _never_ do such a thing.... Just a friendly warning, that's all

    :D

  • Okay, this is getting far too silly. It started as a nice little joke, but now it's gone too far. I'm stopping this.

  • Ok, allright.

    :)

  • Oh, you're no fun anymore!

  • Bring the chicken

  • Welshman with bronze 1927 halfpenny wants to exchange for one exactly the same. Write to Pointless Swaps, Ltd., Pants, Hants.

  • So what sort of accent is it when Brits replace "th" with "f" (like "fings break")?

  • Lower income areas of London seem to have it.

  • Cockney

  • Thanks :)

  • Set fire to two divisions of paratroopers!

  • Palin at his finest!!!Please up "The Cycling Tour" if you have it!

  • water skiing and travel - that's what they emphasise when recruiting.

  • ROFL!!! Monty Python practicly started the random sketch phenominon (if that made sense) they are geniuses and the 1st tym ya watch this ya never in a million yrs would have guessed how it turned out XD

  • "I'd like to leave the army please sir"

    "Good heavens man why?"

    "It's DANGEROUS!" LOL

    Terry & MIchael look so damn cool here!

    Oh, Michael! I love you <3

  • "...be a shame if something happened to it"

    possibly my favorite monty python sketch

  • My God, I love this sketch.

  • "tank"s break colonel" classic comedy

  • lmao i love Graham xD

  • im sure he loves you to (nudge nudge wink wink no wat i mean!)

  • oh yes i can imagine :P LOL

  • 2:31 'what do we want' their laughter is priceless

  • "Could save you a lot a bovver."

  • "It's only 'cos you couldn't think of a punch line" HAHA MICHEAL PALIN!

  • at 0:31 , wouldnt it be funny if one of them hit the guy in front of them?

  • *Throws mug onto floor*

    Dino: Aww, sorry, Colonel!

    Later...

    Luigi: Well, everythin' breaks, don't it, Colonel?

    *Sweeps porcelain piece from desk onto floor*

    Luigi: Oh dear!

    Dino: Aww, see ma' brother's clumsy, Colonel!

  • The budget from just one of Harry Enfield's over produced, under written sketches would pay for a whole series of this kind of clever comedy. The BBC is hopeless these days, commissions any old crap.

  • hahaahha its only cause you couldn't think of a punchline

    LOL

  • If it were a big war, SOMEONE COULD BE HURT! lol, Hawkins, are you a pacifist? No sir, I'm a coward. lol.

  • amazing!!

    this is one of my

    all-time favorite sketches!

    i ablsolutley adore

    Graham Chapman!

    What a terrible loss

    for the comedy

    world.

  • Think!

    Knowledge is Power!

  • whoah, Michael is hot in this.

  • yeah... those feathers in his hair... and the white wig... just gorgeous, eh? LOL.

    but yeah, he's definitely an eye candy... even as he's threatening the "general" for bubblewings (winks?).

  • "-its only caouse you couldnt think of a punchline.

    -not true, not true"

    i think im in love with luigi

  • F'ings BREAK, don'ey?

  • Fire's happen' Cornol - Fings burn!

  • That's one of my favourite sketches!

  • "we can guarantee you that not a single armored division will get done over... for fifteen bob a week"

    Comedy gold, can truly say LOL.

  • For some reason, Eric messed up his "proper ones, not toy ones!" line a teeny bit.

  • How so?

  • One of my favorites of all time. Awesome.

  • I'm not a pacifist, I'm a coward

  • thats a very silly comment. Awfully bad.

  • One of my favorites!

  • You've got a nice army base here, colonel.

    Yes.

    we wouldn't want anything to happen to it.

    It would be a shame if someone was to set fire to 'em.

    I love this sketch ssooooooo much and Michael and Terry are very sexy and slick in this sketch.

  • i request man turns into scotsman if u havnt already uploaded

  • if u could meld all the Gumby bits together, that would be sweet.

  • This is my favourite episode, well at least in my top three :), good show Chadner!

  • STOP THIS! THIS IS SILLY!

  • Hello callie! (:

  • hello matthias...seriously...you and i were born out of the same nutshell...

  • Stop this, this is silly. No human being is born in a nutshell!

  • ok then...seashell;-)

  • This is silly.

  • Well, yeah. :D

  • It's Monty Python - that's sort of the point.

  • Yep sillyness at it's best.

  • this is the last time i'm telling u guys to take your political 'jaw jacking' to the chat boards not to the comments&responces board on u tube. PS Monty python still the best XD!

  • I love how every Python Italian/con man is named Luigi Vercotti!

  • No barley-crossed fingers

  • hey this is to post comments on the video clips not to debate polotics and what-not. So take it to the chat boards. PS Monty Python=greatest comedy show ever.

  • thank you

  • Can the pro-military nutjobs that can't argue worth crap and are either too jaded to read up and understand liberalism or just repeat what their parents and local party leader tell them kindly throw their computers out through the window?

    Or at least show they have some balls and instead of being armchair soldiers actually sign up and get their asses kicked in the real army?

  • pssst... hey it's a STUPID MONTY PYTHON SKETCH NUCKLEHEAD, get over yourself. Oh, and I think that two responses below were reaserched and points argued.... Also, there is a necesity to defend our troops from liberal's libel and slander on the homefront. (General Betray us....)

  • Errr, no, the two points below were examples of zealotry only the most fanatical party members are capable of. As for defending your troops... America ain't is a state of war, so the right to the freedom of speech still stands uncurbed.

    Unless some right wing nutjobs try to limit it.

  • Okay, realm of reality: modern democracy is called a liberal democracy. Liberal democracy is founded on the principles of freedom. Freedom includes freedom of speech.

    Libel and slander are heavy words, usually thrown around by people who either don't understand their meaning or don't know the law. Usually both.

    So far there were no defamatory messages in these comments, and you'd be unable to find any.

    Oh, and to help you understand: pointing out the pointlessness of Iraq is not defamatory.

  • "Libel and slander are heavy words, usually thrown around by people who either don't understand their meaning or don't know the law. Usually both."

    You're lucky. In Singapore the opposition gets bankrupted and made jobless by libel and slander suits.

  • I can't assume the courts are neutral, can I?

  • I can't assume the courts are neutral, can I?

  • No, Singapore's administration is a family operation.

  • Yes, you can do that. I'll counter that with the fact that the US invasion of Iraq has destabilized the region thoroughly, galvanized the Islam rebels and united them under a common banner and led to gas prices soaring.

    Not to mention the cost of the war is taxing the USA dearly, leaving Iraq a messed up hellhole no matter how much money you pump into it and America in a weakened state, going straight into recession on a car fueled by conservatives.

    Real world ain't pretty.

  • Finally, the day any American takes any kind of political or military advice from a liberal polish weenie (WWI, WWII....) is the day Satan skates to work.

  • And I assume you live under the delusion that America won World War II?

  • No respectable historian disputes that, at least.

  • Too bad respected historians agree that it was the USSR that won the war, not America. Until the fall of Berlin, the amount of Reich military engaged against the Soviets on the Eastern Front was far greater than the one facing the Western Allies.

    Not to mention the superior numbers of Soviet troops to those of the West.

    In short, America helped win the war, but it was the Soviet Union that actually won it (and screwing Poland in the process, with help from America and it's allies).

  • I didn't mean that America had superior power, I meant they benefited most from the war. The USSR lost great numbers of people, but America received a massive boost to its economy. I also don't dispute that the Soviet Union was almost certainly Germany's biggest foe, but that was not what I meant.

  • True. One of the sources was the immense demand the war-torn Europe created and the supply America could provide.

    Though Soviet Union didn't really lose: it earned a lot of land and influence in Europe, taken Poland, east Germany, Czechoslovakia, giving it the ability to position large amounts of troops and ordnance that can invade the west at moment's notice.

    Sorry for my initial hostility, I can be a little on the edge sometimes.

  • The USA and Britain won the war, their associate, and (former Hitler semi-ally) USSR got the most out of it They had a lot of troops on the ground, their war effort was propped up by the mighty US industrial production.

    Whats so hard about this? Whats it doing in a Python board would be a better question, tho.

  • ummm hello... and Canada!

  • Whether or not it's on a python board, it happens to be utterly, utterly, wrong. You should read some history.

  • now can we all just laugh at a silly monty python sketch, please?

  • anyone arguing politics over a monty python sketch needs to get a life. seems like not even monty python is sacred to the blame america first wing of the looney left. anyone arguing for our soldiers to desert is not fit to kiss thier boots, let alone has an appriciation for the sacrifices made for liberty and freedom. get a life after you move out of your parent's basement you ignorant piece of liberal crap "betweenlakes" more like between brain transplants

  • Shut up you eye-ties.

  • "This is silly and very badly written"

  • "paratroops dino."

    "it would be a shame if someone was to set fire to them."

    i dont know why, but i always laugh so hard at that part

  • I wish i was the matchstick Michael's got...

    Squee!

  • Have you noticed that all the Italian people in Python are all called Luigi Vercotti?

    Its hilarious....

  • Hey, can someone please tell me how much a "bob" is?

    =]

  • 1 bob = 1 shilling.

    A cupronickel coin and former monetary unit of the United Kingdom, the 20th part of a pound, equal to 12 pence: retained in circulation equal to 5 new pence after decimalization in 1971.

  • Shut up, you Eye-tie!

    Cut at the very ned.

  • I love MIchael to death@@

  • This sketch is BRILLIANT>..

    Michael and Terry J. look SOOOO damn cool...

  • MIchael at 2:10... Yummy.

  • 'I'm the senior officer here and I haven't had a funny line yet.'

  • bein italian i can say we all dont act liek that but this skit is hilarious i love the suits

  • i love michaels suit! lol

  • you've got a nnice army base here, it would be a shame if something happended to it. wink wink, nudge nudge, say not more

  • This is one of the best ones ive ever seen.

  • "Are you a pacifist?" "No sir, I'm not a pacifist, sir; I'm a coward"

    Terry and Michael make great mafiosos, but Graham steals the scene as the "straight man"

  • Possibly. It's not nearly as anti-war as some of the other sketches.

  • Given that this was only from their first series, it could be said they were just starting . . .

  • It's a shame there aren't any similar comedians nowadays. They could convince more soldiers to "desert". All soldiers should desert, because they are not fighting a war. A war is fought between two armies. not between one army and a nation of civilians. You want to stop terrorists? Filling their homeland with foreign troops and foreign mercenaries is NOT the way to do it. ALL SOLDIERS SHOULD DESERT.