Branded
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Added: 5 years ago
From: toadfoto
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  • arthur. digby. sellers.

  • Did they get his sword from Harbor Freight?

  • There have been all kinds of spoof's on the branded song but the best one I ever heard was when the all-star wrestler on our high-school wrestling team was dumped by his girlfriend for a somewhat effeminate male. That night riding in a bus back from a wrestling meet he kept singing "Shafted-shafted by a fem" to the branded theme song. Probably wouldn't be politically correct nowadays but in 1971 it was a hoot. LOL

  • wow !! what an intro.. I only came across this out of curiosity from the big lebowski when the dude sings this song and from seinfeld when newman rips the post office patch off of jerry's jacket..

  • "Branded"... A Mark Goodson - Bill Todman Production; no kidding! For some reason, the Goodson-Todman credit was removed from the black and white shows when they were syndicated (note the skip on the end credits), but remains on the end credits of the color shows. One of Goodson-Todman's few ventures out of the world of game shows.

  • If Swords in the cavalry were as shitty as the one in the show, the whole U.S army would have run and never stopped.LOL

  • Badass.

  • ...in german : 'Geächtet !' best intro ever !!! LES ('remember each detail, 'saw this 1st time since 40 years !!!)

  • How do you write 150 episodes for a show that lasted at most two seasons?

  • Chuck norris learned everything from chuck connors.

  • I love this THEME SONG!

  • Little known fact: Chuck Conners could deflect bullets with his chin. This came in handy far more often then you'd expect...

  • Used to watch this show in Berlin Germany back in the day. Good times.

    Good show.

  • Stranded...stranded on the toilet bowl

    what do you do when your stranded without a tissue roll

    to prove your a man

    wipe it with your hand

    to prove your a woman

    wipe it with your bosum

    to prove your a thief

    chew it with your teeth...

  • @Bigalrev the way I remember it as a kid was close:

    stranded, stuck on the toilet bowl

    what do you do when you're stranded

    and you need another roll

    to prove you're a man

    you must wipe with your hand

    on the can.................

    stranded, stuck on the toilet bowl!

    :D

  • @njwater LOL! I think I remember that too!

  • @njwater I remember too! My older brother Chris sang the "Stranded" song on the school bus. I thought he made it up! Guess it was popular on school buses all over America. I do remember the show clearly. I was in kindergarten. I felt so bad during the opening theme when he had his insignia torn off and he was banished....

  • And they say he ran awaaaaaaay BRANDED.

  • I have to agree, the only part of the show that I remember well is the intro and yes I felt sorry for the man. And thanks "Wanderer1955" LOL!!

  • He wrote the first 150 episodes, not exactly a light weight, yet his son is a dunce.

  • @eshum86 We'll beat it out of him, should be a pushover...

  • @eshum86  ...bulk of the series dude

  • Chuck Connors was Chuck Norris's dad

  • Chuck Norris stole his act from Chuck Connors.

  • I was missing a few of the lyrics, thanks for completing me

  • I am certain this series was a spin of from a made in colour cinema film called, Broken Sabre, again with Chuck Conners, and also starring Cesar Romero.

  • I was born in 1960. Had a HUGE crush on Chuck Connors. I used to run in when I heard either theme song from the Rifleman or Branded.

  • A MARK GOODSON BILL TODMAN PRODUCTION!!

  • Did he ever prove his innocence or did the show end? At least"The Fugitive" had a conclusion! Does anyone know? I was about 5 or 6 and I only remember this opening not the actual show! As a little kid I felt so bad for him...I wanted to give him a hug! LOL!

  • @jlomax It wasn't so much about him proving that he hadn't run, it was about the way people treated him because they thought he HAD run.

  • Kinda makes u wonder if his C.O. found out about his preference for Marines who give oral and loved being fudgepacked (insert deviously snickering lol here!)!

  • Chuck Connors was so cool!

  • he definately looks guilty to me

  • Seeing this reminds me of an old issue of Mad magazine . They parodied the "branded" opening up to the point where the commanding officer is to break the sword over his leg. He ended up cutting his leg off.

  • @unclaimedtreas LOL!

  • "Stranded, stranded on the toilet bowl

    What do you do when you're stranded

    and you can't reach the roll!"

  • i loved this show when i was kid it was syndicated with wagon train and wyatt earp

  • stranded....stranded on the toiled bowl what do you do when your stranded and you cant reach the roll......

  • @120446219 To prove you're a man, you must wipe it with your hand. If Not, you stay on the pot!!

  • Yes indeed..Roseann is just a fat jew ass..

  • no one messes with chuck connors.

  • I swear, there was a version of this song that said, "What do you do...........when you're branded?"I first heard it this past X-Mas and I loved the beat and melody.....I can't find it for shit here, though! Does anyone have it? Thanks :-)

  • MaceMn...couldn't agree more! it's because our dumb asses keep watching no matter how banal the shows.

  • I like this one as much as the rifleman. 

  • This always makes me think of an episode of Married with Children when Al is the security guard but gets disgraced after a trophy is stolen while he was in charge.

  • @ElFino013

    I found this video thinking of that episode. I loved that ending with Bubba Smith!

    Al: I'm hurt bad!

    Bubba: Me too!

    Al: Sleepy time now?

    Bubba: Oh, yes!

  • What they shoulda done there was when he walksd thru the gate and stands in front of the camera, he shouda said...................''What the fuk was THAT all about''????

  • I vaguely remember the show. Does anyone know if the truth about what happened finally came out, restoring McCord's good name, before the show was cancelled?

  • @edybeast I belive the show was up and cancelled without a happy out come.

  • @edybeast I don't remember the details, but he was cleared in the final episode.

  • Incidentally..does anyone know if a copy of the movie they made of Branded exists anywhere.?

  • While not knowing much on American Sabres,British ones are designed to flex to a great degrre and breaking it would require a considerble amount of strength,over the knee..i do'nt think so.For any sword to break like that shows very poor craftmanship...I actually have a nice collection of sabres..sadly one of which is broken..broke while i was flexing it (yep,real dumb)..revealed an air bubble in the steel tho.

  • @wolfsige I believe somewhere there's an outtake where they tried to break the real thing and it only bounced off his leg. They had to cut it almost in two to pull off that shot.

  • @roadstarman58 I find that incredibly easy to beleive...cheers

  • @wolfsige Actually, I was just reading a posting on myArmoury in which someone showed several examples of swords being broken in "degradation ceremonies." Apparently they restitched all the buttons and such to make them easy to tear off, and filed the sword almost in half so it could be broken over the knee (or in one case, the degraded fellow's head--ouch!). So yes, any good sword would have to be weakened to break so easily, and they knew that. Thought you might like to know.

  • @ruebuscm ..Cheers...You would not want to trust a sword that breaks so easily in battle would you.

  • @wolfsige Hah. :) Hell no. Peace.

  • @ruebuscm This is useful information, thank you. For 45 years there's been a tiny corner of my brain wondering about the sword-breaking ceremony in "Branded" and how that old geezer of a CO snapped that thing so easily.

  • That sword was probably made out of plastic. I think a real one would have just bent a little.

  • I would like to see someone break a real sword over their knee like that.

  • Its quite possible,due to the hardness,it doesnt work of course from the leading edge,try bending,a fish hook,9x out of ten they will snap,thats a small scale comparison. Topazcat1

  • @topazcat1

    Hello Topazcat1

    Never thought of it like that.

    A saber might just snap without harm to the person doing the breaking.

    I deal with swords that are heavier and thicker than a saber.

    I have broad swords and if someone tried to snap any of them over their leg like that flat sided, it would do quite some damage to their leg. . but then again, broad swords are designed for that. .. .I do not think sabers are. . .but I am not that familar with sabers.

    Thanks for the input.

  • @1eaNavarre Hello,I was in an Armored unit(Forunner Cavalry) We gave this type of saber away(real ones)with added engraving to departing Officers and first Sargeants. Topazcat1

  • @topazcat1

    Hello Topazcat1

    Thank you for your service.

    I too served.

    I understand now why you knew a bit about the sabers. . .

    Giving one to departing Officers and first Sargeants is an ongoing tradition of honor.

  • Notice that he was drummed out, but not branded! When I saw the show I was expecting to see a big gnarly 'C' shaped scar on his cheek.

  • After he was kicked out of the cavalry he went to be a cowboy in Africa.

  • Almost reluctant to contribute but Texas Version. ~Stranded, Stranded on the toilet bowl. What do you do when your Stranded, without another roll? Wherever you go, for the rest of your life you must uuuuuusssseee,....YOUR HAND!~

  • Word about his cowardice sure got around fast in 1870 - did they telegraph it to every town? LOL

  • Thanks for posting this,This intro really made an impression on me as a little kid,I remembered it exactly,It was a mystery for me over 30 years.Well I behaved and got an honorable discharge in 1985.33rd Armored Regiment.

  • When i was a little f\girl the Stranded son went like this. Stranded! stranded on the toilet bowl..what do you do when your stranded when you need another roll.. to prove your a man you wipe it with your hand.. stranded.

  • @msmelanin1 lol....i remember that take...almost as good as our riffs on daniel boone

  • I never seen this before, got here through "Married with Chilnred, where in one episode- All night security dude, they made a parody of this intro. I must say the idea of a man outcasted from teh army, ashamed etc. looks terrific.

  • I used to love this show. This opening sequence seemed much more dramatic than the episodes themselves. It sold the show. Roseanne made for great and necessary TV too. A woman's POV is still fairly rare on corporate TV even now.

    By the way, great boots on Chuck.

    Now its off to Frankie Laine's "3:10 to Yuma."

  • ...and yet his son is a fucking dunse.

  • @maxbirnbaum I was waiting for someone to make that reference. Nice work.

  • I remember in the 60's me and all my buddies in the elementary schoolyard singing this song at recess. How I wished I could go bacxk to those wonderful days.

  • It really bummed me out when I heard Chuck was a HOMO! I used to like this show too!

  • @Halftrac  WHERE did you get that info???? I've never heard this before.....

  • @CJurasin So I'm guessing you did not know Rock Hudson was Light in the Loafers too? Where have you been living for the past 30 years?

  • @Halftrac Rock Hudson I've heard about, but never Chuck Conners. You haven't told me how you know this???

  • I recently heard someone say that "Branded" has one of the best intros ever. I remember seeing re-runs as a kid. I must agree. After all this time, this show still has one of THE BEST intros!

  • Oh, Lord ... my childhood: "Bonanza", "Branded" and "Brady`s" - Fine Memos! :)

  • STRANDED!, Stranded on the toilet bowl !!! , What,(*wtf), do you do when you're stranded , ... and Can't Find the roll!!!?

    Grade School song, lol. srry..

  • What do you do when you are branded?

  • That opening scene to "Branded" was filmed right by where I grew up...Kanab, Utah!! Has anyone else noticed the strong similarity to the fort from "The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again"? That was filmed near Kanab, too! This is AMAZING!! :) Many thanks for posting this!

  • This was the last time I saw Chuck Conners as a good guy.

  • I thought of this intro when I retired. They took my ID badge and cut it in front of me, took my keys, wiped all my stuff out of my office computer.....

  • The best part of this show was the intro. Come on people let's be real here. Branded was not exactly the best western on TV. It was real campy. But in those days the networks had a monopoly. If they put it on, people would watch it. Today, the best shows on network TV only average about 10 million viewers. Boy, times have changed. That last episode of m.a.s.h. held the record for so long because there was only three networks then. And then came cable.

  • It's too bad the full episodes aren't on YouTube

  • belive it or not this was a goodson-todman series

  • @gameshow1241 Long before they made their names with game shows.

  • another line for the toilet bowl version was...what can ya do when your stranded ....and phew you stink lol

  • I remember this show. I used to watch with my dad sometime in the 1980's on reruns of course. I can't remember what channell thouigh. I do remember TBS used to show Cimmaron Strip back then.

  • Remember seeing reruns of this in the early 70's a local non-affiliated tv station. Always thought it was better than the Rifleman, because of the idea behind it.

  • Chuck Conners was so handsome!

  • I remember the lyrics in Spanish: Solo el quedó, de su battalón, y le gente le gritó: Cobarde! juran que desertó, quien lo sabra con certeza, ya que nadie lo vio. Doquiera que vaya tendrá que probar su valor y su honor. The name of the series was "Marcado" (Branded).

  • I remember the lyrics in Spanish: Solo el quedó, de su battalón, y le gente le gritó: Cobarde! juran que desertó, quien lo sabra con certeza, ya que nadie lo vio. Doquiera que vaya tendrá que probar su valor y su honor.

  • Arthur Digby Sellars wrote 156 episodes of this show. He lives near the In & Out Burger.

  • @kokothemonkeyy this is what happens larry

  • bulk of the series.

  • AND THEY SAY HE RAN AWAAAAAAAAAAAAY

  • Ooops, I paged down......looks like we weren't the only ones.

  • When I was a kid, we boys turned the lyrics around on this theme...."Stranded, stranded on the bathroom bowl, what do you do when your stranded and you can't find a roll?, whatever you do you must make sure to prove you're a man.........use your hand"

  • Hey, lol I like that it replaces: Jingle Bell Batman smells Robin Laid and egg the batmobile broke his wheel and the joker got away. I still love punch him in the face, kick him in the rear Bonanza, Hit little Joe with a beer, watch him shed a tear, then he runs away. Big brother Hoss shows you who's boss Bonanza. He racks you in the jewels , stuffs you in the stool and flushes you astray. Adams cute Ben is smart Hopsing needs better parts.

  • You're such a child...catallac whack! Anyway, I can't remember the serious ,I was too busy watch Chuck and not listening to the story plot lol. I rmember the Riffle Man but this show doesn't compute. Why couldn't he prove it. I know why David Banner (Bill Bixby) Couldn't prove his situation by why couldn't Chuck. Unrelated note; I once heard that Chuck let fig newton fly doing a basketball game. It made the air to the chagrin of the sponsers and censors. You can say he is responsable for censors

  • @Bellfire05 David Banner had nothing to fear from Jack McGee. Just The Military Government & The raging green beast that dwells within him.

  • poor nick adams, coulda been a great star, was a great star. very sad. he was in a lot of great stuff--rebel without a cause for example

  • 2 bad hes dead

  • Does he still write?

  • Oh No he has hand problems

  • Oh No he has Hand Problems lol

  • great shows like these ya never see on tv anymore and they got Roseannes fat ass on 3 diff channels....wtf!?

  • i agree but there are some good shows on

    i really agree with you about roseannes fat ass cant stand the sight of her never could

  • @MaceMn I agree there's way to much of Roseanne's fat butt on tv even in reruns. Another I think they really drove into the ground was Seinfeld.

  • @MaceMn rosanne is great comedy

    branded yes great show so

  • @MaceMn 

  • @MaceMn LOL..so damn true..thanks for saying it!!

  • You're killing your father Larry!!

  • AND A GOOD EVENING TO YOU TOO SIR!!!

  • Stranded. Stranded on the toilet bowl,

    What do you do when you're stranded,

    and you don't have a roll?

    To show you're a man you must use your hand...

    Stranded. Stranded on the toilet bowl,

    What do you do when you're stranded,

    and you don't have a roll?

    That spread across grade school

    playgrounds like a prairie fire.

  • @4freespeech

    Like a prairie fire indeed :^)

  • LOL

    so funny, had you not posted those lyrics, i was going to! lol  ... or at least i hoped i could remember them.

    I remember the kids in 5th grade singing them.

  • Cool intro.

  • Fuckin' Arthur Digby Sellers... wrote the bulk of the series... huge fan.

  • Not exactly a lightweight

  • @bigtitties1999 not exactly a lightweight, dude.

  • finally get to see what married with children was spoofing. great.

  • Long intro!

  • There was an outtake of it some time ago. The general or whomever that was, could not break the sword at one take.

  • What was his rank in the army?

  • Jason McCord, played by Chuck Connors was a Captain in a Cavalry unit. In the pilot episode, there was a reporter played by Claude Akins that addressed him as "Captain McCord."

  • You could see the Cav insignia on the hats of the guys in the background... In real life the soldiers would all be wearing kepis.

    That's you trivia for today kiddies!

  • Chuck Conners branded as a deserter?

    What do you do when your BRANDED and you know your a man?

    I would like to see a stare down between Chuck Conners and Lee Van Cleef.

  • Hi Toadfoto. Please upload more "Branded" episodes. Thank you.

  • that was the most badass thing ive ever seen

  • As kids we used to sing this as "Stranded, stranded on the toilet bowl...what do you do when you're stranded and you can't reach the roll? Wherever you go for the rest of your life, take a chance....you potty pants!" We really amused ourselves with that one. So glad I can still remember those words 35 years later!

  • How funny  That's a good one, I'm still laughing.

    You see, I didn't have the imagination you had as kids. I just sang the theme song straight through.

  • hahaha

  • This used to air on my local CBS affiliate between 7 and 8PM, Sat. nights, when I was a kid. It was a "grayer" Western than THE RIFLEMAN, so I never understood (then) why most of the supporting characters in each episode treated Chuck like a Bad Guy. It was a different story, though, when reruns started airing Saturday mornings on TNT, during the Eighties. The stories were actually pretty thought-provoking. Almost like a Western version of THE PRISONER (TOS)!

  • We had "What do you do when you're stranded, and you don't have a roll? You think like a man and wipe it with your hand..." I still remember that too. :)

  • Thanks for sharing a true urban legend.

  • @sgtscruffy56 Ha Ha, I remember that version too.

  • stranded on the toilet bowl hahhahahahha thanks that busted me up

  • @sgtscruffy56 Stranded On the edge of the toilet bowl What will you do when you're stranded And you don't have a roll? To prove you're a man You must use your hand You know it won't be fun But the job must be done Stranded. On the edge of the toilet bowl What will you do when you're stranded And you don't have a roll? ; )
  • @sgtscruffy56 @sgtscruffy56 Stranded On the edge of the toilet bowl What will you do when you're stranded And you don't have a roll? To prove you're a man You must use your hand You know it won't be fun But the job must be done Stranded. On the edge of the toilet bowl What will you do when you're stranded And you don't have a roll? ; )
  • @sgtscruffy56

    Ha! Loved the ditty you made up about this theme song when you were a kid! When I was a kid in the 60's (when TV still had cigarette advertising), we sang "Winston taste bad....like the last one I had...no filter...no flavor...tastes just like toilet paper"!  I recall watching "Branded" as a kid back then. I think it came on Friday nights. Thanks for your comment...you've MADE my day & my weekend!

  • @sgtscruffy56 LMAO That's exactly why I'm here at this video! I'm sending a friend this to get a feel for the "Stranded" song! Your version has the same beginning and slightly different than mine where my version goes "what do you do when your stranded and there's nothing on the roll"! "You know you're a man and you must use your hand"! LMAO! This aired in 1965 - 66 when I was about 9 years old. That was 45 years ago! OMG! Were you born in 56 too? lol

  • @sgtscruffy56 The real lyrics are....

    Stranded

    Stranded on the toilet bowl

    What do you do when you're stranded

    And you need another roll?

    To prove you're a man

    You must wipe it with your hand

    And you won't be stranded any more.

    bum bum

  • @sgtscruffy56 . . . No, it's what do you do when you're stranded, and you don't have a roll. To proooove, that you're a man, . . . wipe it, wipe it, wipe it with your hand.  That's the way we sang it in Boston.

  • @sgtscruffy56 - YOU SANG THAT TOO? HAHAHA! Funny how jokes like that managed to go viral in the days before YouTube!

  • shut the fuck up donny.

  • Believe it or not, this Larry Cohen-created series was "A Mark Goodson - Bill Todman Production." Yes, it was those game show folks! For some reason, in syndication, the Goodson-Todman credit was edited and cut our of the first season blacl-and-white shows, but still appears in the second season color episodes. (MmnnI wonder if Milton Bradley made a home game versionlol)

  • lmfao i thought it said chuck norris at first xD

  • Your killing your father larry...

  • Does anyone have this series? I really liked it!

  • That guy must have had an iron leg to break that sword that way!

  • I remember seeing a couple of episodes of this show, but it wasn't really something to keep the interest of a 6-year old girl. But I've always remembered the theme song! Those were the days when a show's theme song told you what the show was about, and it was great if you were tuning in having not known about a show beforehand. Today's tv theme songs or music often don't even relate to the show at all. Thanks for uploading this :)

  • Oddly enough I remember this series even as a kid. it lasted half a season I think,

  • Was the fictional "Bitter Creek" ever identified as an Indian or Civil War battle in the series?

  • if you would look @ the stockcade in the opening, it would suggust ( to me) indian wars

  • It was an Indian battle, a few episodes in the series referred to it. In one episode, a group of Indians from that battle befriended the main character and testified to his bravery that day.

  • I liked this series a lot.

    Much more an adult western than 'Rifleman' was.

    But that one was great too.

  • I too have needed this clip to prove this show existed!!! excellent - do you remember Garsons Guerillas?

  • Conners deserved another good show after the Rifleman - this wasn't it unfortunately.

  • Hulkmeister23...I also was introduced to "Branded" in a roundabout way by that "Married With Children" episode. They did a very good job of spoofing "Branded's" opening in that one (Al's trophy gets stolen & he, as the security guard gets "Branded.") Hilarious! I wonder if anyone has posted that on YouTube? As for the real show, "Branded" was a definite classic.

  • I remember this tune, I remember it from Married With Children.

  • Me too, Al Bundy had a part time job as a security guard and there was a break in while he was taking a dump.

  • Comment removed

  • The opening of this series was striking and is about all I really remember of it from when I was a kid. I misremembered the title as "Brandon" and that it must have been the character's name.

  • bulk of the series,Dude

  • thx 4 memories!!!

  • Arthur Digby Sellers wrote 165 episodes, the bulk of the series; not exactly a light weight!

  • Breaking a sword in half on your knee? Either fake, or beast!

  • It's possible. The swords they used were thin and you break it at the weakest point with the thick part of your leg. I've seen people break baseball bats over their knees. It takes strength, but if you do it right you won't injure yourself.

    This is called "cashiering" and it was a real practice.