BILL ENGVALL - Here's Your Sign Live (Part.2)

[joeleffler]

............WHAT?! Evel Keneval couldnt make that leap

[WithATwist19]

Sadly enough, with the dishwasher thing, that is true XDDD

[zanie102]

the sound is tooooooo low!!!!!

[diggs882]

face what bill engvall says pretty adds with every man.

[ThePhiliprivers17]

10 people need a sign

[ylwf]

I rearrange the dishwasher all the time.... LOL... drives my family crazy!

[SeraphinWrath]

God, he just described my mother. Thank whoevers watching over me that when they split, I ended up with my dad. And I'm a chick. She accused my dad of something weird and set him up. Dad didn't lie. Mom accused him of cheating, but she was the one who was cheating actually. I found my dad smoking, waited til he wasn't busy with work so I wouldn't interrupt, tossed them on the desk, said 'Not cool Dad', walked away, and let it go. Glad I was raised by him, not her. I'd be so screwed up otherwise.

[Fierycascade]

Actually, it's my dad who freaks out about the dishwasher. After my Mom and I put dishes in, he'll rearrange them. :/

[darkdarth5]

''Mama's fixing to lose her mind.' My mom's done that many times.

[cowgirl9894]

@darkdarth5 mine too at least once a day

[ashleetb89]

haha



[kittenluvr97]

Apparentally, I wash my clothes like a guy and do the dishes like a guy!

[lordjayryi1]

dishwashers are racist

[caligirlkaykee2]

According to Bill, I'm a major tomboy. LoL

[electricgrl33]

who ever has voted they don't like this has problems..... just saying they made comedy i love him !!

[JanetCoop]

He is the new Tennesee Ernie Ford...and he's right on every count!!!

[CrazyCountryGirl0]

according to this, I wash my clothes like a guy. hahah

[PAGEN3]

This is so true.. Bill is so funny love it.

[1skullduggery]

gee, i talk, walk, and pattern my whole act after foxworthy, i may as well go ahead and dress like him, too. go flip burgers, asshole. maybe you can find some originality in that. your material sure isn't.

[RingshadowCat]

I can tetris the FARK out of a dishwasher.

[cheergirlielol]

just use your brain. its not a leap its the fact that if you lie about one thing what is keeping them from lying about everything else.

[mycide]

@cheergirlielol ... Reality check here... Everyone lie, the point is that most of the time you have no clue that they are. if you say you never lie, you lie. Simple as that.

[QuarstyAndZack]

@cheergirlielol

...........HWHAT?

[shonenjump18]

:30 i can make that leap

[rclee1000]

wemon are scary

[movielady13]

think, think! what's the right answer?!

there never is a right answer...men should know this by now...lmao

[kentuckycowgirl23]

You can't put a pair of jeans in with a pair of panties cuz apperntly that just slaps 'em around and hurts their feelings cuz they are delicate hahah :D

[braidy411]

this is pure class lyk, who says hill billys cant do stand up...

[braidy411]

this is pure class lyk and how says hill billys cant do stand up...

[brokenheart288]

I am soo disorganized..buuut i become OCD when doing the dishwasher lol

I love how 'women can 'just stop''..lol its my weapon oh and

"YOU WANNA HEAR WHAT WENT ON AT THIS HOUSE TODAY?! WHILE YOU WERE AT YOUR 'JOOBB' " lmfao

[jw870206]

"If you're lying to me about smoking, how do I know you're not sleeping with other women?" to which I would say, "The answer is right there in your hand, dear. If I was sleeping with other women, I wouldn't be smoking. When temptation strikes, I will light one up. You see what I do to try and remain loyal to you, baby? I compromise my health."

[DinsdalePiranha67]

I've had dinner and I ain't tired. I'll let you do the math.

[MrGeekwithagun]

i can relate to this. i can load the dishwasher but my wife will ALWAYS rearrange it.

[MON383]

when'd you eat the possum..... great i realy needed to clean my drink outa my keyboard!!!!!

[AZPadawanGirl]

I'm a woman- I don't organize my dishwasher lol

[shonenjump18]

i would've been able to make that jump

[shonenjump18]

set up questions. this is the reason i think of all the possible questions and think of the best answers to get me out of trouble before those questions can come into play

[AnimePrincessMelody]

EVIL CANEVIL COULDN'T MAKE THAT LEAP! XD

[30deadninjas]

my ass is running away from lauhing to hard XD

[14tbates]

WHAT?!?!??! Best friggen part.

[dirtbyker47]

oh god.... think! think! WHAT IS THE RIGHT ANSWERRRRR!?!?!?

[Inariwolfkitty14]

my mom is the same way with our dishwasher, and guess who gets in trouble when its not loaded right *points to self*

[720942008]

lol Come to Jesus meeting

[fatality4193]

if u think this is funny u should watch Rodney carrington

[greenwoodplaya32]

boy you gotta love Bill Engval!

[lupusdiem11]

Face it, women enjoy toying with us.

[keyleepaine]

@lupusdiem11 of course we do its our favorite past time ;D

[elite393]

@lupusdiem11 trust me bro its too true... im only 8 months in o.o (not marriage but ohhh close enough haha)

[MrNinjaKazuki]

@lupusdiem11 oh yes we do :P

[beonka10]

@lupusdiem11 We do. :x

[n00bAvengerftw]

@lupusdiem11 Hell yeah we do! Lol

[Hysteria200]

I DONT SNORE!

THERE'S A PACK OF BEARS IN THE BACKYARD, BABY!

[ycsdramaqueen]

"And their feelings get hurt, they're delicate!" XD Bill Engvall is freaking amazing. I totally quote from him all the time.

[TheChestnut2010]

ocd dishes

[14tbates]

the five people who voted this down here's your sign! :)

[babygirl981000]

he is so so funny I love him

[ShadowSilverKnuckles]

HEY this guy is fuuny as hell

[306ness]

what's with you stupid yokels quoting this guy word for word and posting it ? are you transcribing it for the hearing impaired ?

[Milhail]

@306ness yes

[FlashtheFirefox]

@306ness because the lines are funny that's why

[Acrodents]

"I looked at the dial on the washing machine, and it said, ' Cold, warm, hot.' Warm is in the middle, thats where everything gets clean. NO. NO NO NO! Bill,the whites go in the hot water, and the colors get in the cold water. And THEN i found out, that theres a whole nother group. It called 'Delicate things.' and theres a whole new cycle for that. See, fellas, you cant put a pair of jeans, in with a pair of panties. Cuz it just slaps them around in the cycle. and there feelings get hurt. hahah!!

[princesspirate9210]

omg he is sooooooooo funny

[Ang3lofD3ath999]

THERE'S A PACK OF BEARS IN THE BACKYARD BABY!

[FM46]

Love this guy, so funny.

[S0a1v2a3n4n5a6]

"Nobody told me that there had to be a pattern to the dishwasher."

See, I think in all women there's a kind of OCD. Even if she's unorganized, there's a method to the madness that maybe only she understands. I should know. I'm a girl and not the most organized person in the world. But ask me to organize my room, and I can't find shit. But leave me to my own, I can normally find just about everything.

[Milhail]

@S0a1v2a3n4n5a6 i think thats ADD and OCD mixed

[kellyraye815]

@S0a1v2a3n4n5a6 Organization =/= OCD. Christ

[snorie797]

@S0a1v2a3n4n5a6 EXACTLY!!

[morganleeanncooper]

@S0a1v2a3n4n5a6 I organize everything except my room!!

[kittycatninja1]

@S0a1v2a3n4n5a6 ah ha yes some one else in the world like me and my parents complain about it to lol its funny

[caligirlkaykee2]

@S0a1v2a3n4n5a6 same. exactly the same.

[shimizuspear101]

@S0a1v2a3n4n5a6 ditto lol my mom is always like "clean your room!!!!!!" and i.m always like i wont be able to find anything lol

[underworldshinigami]

what would of been funnier would be if he said alright u caught me they're in the closet

[Cperrine76]

I wonder what it would be like to watch Bill Engvall do a comedy skit with Jeff Dunham :)

[mustangpatty51]

I love the Dishwasher reference. Sooooo funny!! I get on my husband about that all the time...LOL!

[PeterPanDisneyDork]

my dad tells us that you're SUPPOSED to mix the silverware so they don't all hug each other and not get properly cleaned...

[PeterPanDisneyDork]

dude, women who take off their underwear when trying on bathing suits is gross... my sister works in retail and has dealt with bloody bikini bottoms... BLECH!!!

[whisperandsecret]

"I am not the only person in this house who knows how to load a dishwasher." Thats my mama! Including the whole rearranging bit! lol.

[LocoAurinegro]

so realistic LOL

[palistof]

My face is ACHING from smiling and my stomach HURTS from laughing so much!!!

[Forgotensoule]

-shudders, shacking!- "WHAT IS THE RIGHT ANSWER?!?!?!"

[utlgs21v]

wat is istismf



[IronAbbs1]

The Brotherhood of bowls =P

[SkyFoxCode]

... while you were at your "job". LOL i love this guy

[sexyrsm1988]

LOVE IT!!! :-)

[slcpetit]

At 5:10, why is there a Pokeball on the wall?

[Xpurplecow8uX]

alright kids put your forks down, momma's about to lose her mind.

[s61kissit]

oh man. i seriously follow the dishwasher bit. i put everything together. of course everyone else has to mess it up for me, just so i can rearrange it. like no joke i totally do this.

[trojansfan87]

the closed captioning is terrible, most of the words are wrong

[thesims66]

@trojansfan87 MOST of the words how about 90% of the words are wrong!.

[amzing3som]

HAhahahahhahahahhahha^_^

[patrckhh20]

Sounds like the Ghastly Grinner is in that audience.

[thesims66]

@patrckhh20 Who or what is that Ghastly Grinner? Is it real or urban legend?

[laudypapa1]

................WHAT?!?!!? XD XD XD

[patrckhh20]

What is the right answerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!

[chevyman5436]

"WELL I GUESS YOU DONT!" xD

[CarevaPeAcolo]

no wonder you don't get it....its a guy joke

[Kodanikage]

I get the joke, I don't get how some women can make the leap "saying something like if I can't trust you to do the dishes then I can't trust you to stay faithful." I sympathize because despite not being a guy as a daughter I've ben a victim of the logic leap that would make ones head spin.

[littlemissxxx3]

oh dear god, I can relate. Not fun memories.

[CTL13Casper]

. . . . . . Huh? ;p lol

[movieaddict19]

Well apparently you are. lol

[ryfin2000]

My father gave me the best advice for marriage a few months back. He's on his 2nd with my step mom now. During the Grey Cup (Canadian football championship) She came home and usurped the only tv to watch desperate housewives, during the last quarter of a close game. While scrambling down to the local bar to "hopefully" catch the game, he gave me the best advice anyone ever gave anyone.

"NEVER get married"

xD (P.S., we did catch the end of the game)

[Fazed2113]

@ryfin2000 CFL!!!

[DarcVandesdelca]

@ryfin2000 Been there, done that. Follow his advice. He knows what he's talking about.

[Pamahana97]

aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh cant w8t 4 adult hood and hopefully ill marry some1 whos super horny but the really funny thing is my dad is the excat opposite he dosen't even want my mom to touch him little lone kiss him or the 3rd need

[mugshotkid]

*let alone*.. not little lone

[Pamahana97]

what is this english class lol im jk ty 4 correcting me

[ColoringFreake]

I'm a 13 yr old girl and I completely agree with everything that Bill Engvall says. lol XD

[Pamahana97]

@ColoringFreake i luv u

btw 12 13 in april

[MrMatto91]

his stories are funny as hell.

[LucyGriffithsfan]

gotta love the way he says what

[tkdyo]

@liliadawn01 ermm...relax, its just a joke. You dont see me goin "im a guy and I dont need sex and alcohol every day" yeesh

[SGde3a]

He reminds me of Jim Carrey when he says "I'm just a guuuy"

[pedinoway2]

he uses the N word too much

[astorpolsen]

wtf are you talking about?

[pedinoway2]

nothing, im just kidding

[TWEC21]

uh....what N word?

[pedinoway2]

@TWEC21 im just kidding

[ashbro595]

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

[beatleboy9020001]

the dishwasher thing is great, my dad used to be anal about that too

[pokemoneg]

Whend u eat the possum? LOL

[cld118]

when'da eat the possom?

[SamFisher147]

"hehehehheeh sorry... I'm Just A Guy! heheheh"

[Wastelander1972]

Forks are up "All right!"

"Aw hell..... Forks down, kids. Your mama's fixin' to lose her mind....." Lolz... that sums up a mother and wife in a few good words.

[kseadam8907]

Bill Engvall is hilarious!

[austinisme2477]

hi baby GOD I LOVE YOU 21 years lady hi bab WHEW! WHEN DID YOU EAT THE POSSUM

[s61kissit]

@austinisme2477

ohmygod that was my favorite part!! (:

[austinisme2477]

@s61kissit haha me too

[soldierfront03050]

@austinisme2477

21 years lady? Lol

[austinisme2477]

@soldierfront03050 lol i wasnt paying attention i meant later

[deathmoster]

@austinisme2477 i dont remember seeing it on the highway

[austinisme2477]

@deathmoster haha

[proud2Bprude]

"Delecates" LMAO

[defleopard7]

Bill's Wife: "Well Bill if your lying to me about smoking, how do I know that your not sleeping with other women?"

Bill: .... looks around for a minute... ' WHAT?!!?"

"EVIL KENIVEL COULDN'T HAVE MADE THAT LEAP!"

[Cierrakahana]

"Well I guess you dont!"

AAAGGGGHHH!

Oh, come here, little mouse! come here!

[Dalybabe]

@defleopard7 pretty much the exact same response i had to my boyfriend when i found he was lying about smoking lol

[Ang3lofD3ath999]

@defleopard7 Well I guess you dont. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! lmfao XD

[MightyN0ob]

@defleopard7 xD His face!

[TotalBunghole]

@defleopard7 Well, I guess you don't. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA­AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA­AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Come back here, little mouse, come here!

[Scorp316]

I'm always told to handwash before the dishwasher, but I just toss them in the dishwasher and let it do it's job. I don't want a $1500 cabinet decoration, I want a damn dishwasher!

[thegritch42]

around here loading the dishwasher means everyone piles their dishes in the sink for me to do.

[VivaAlecto]

My mom is so anal about the dishwasher too. She likes to put things in size order and color order too.

[nlyske]

mine too

[xPR4NK3Dx]

i h8 handwashing dishes. i wish i had a dishwasher...lol

[CodeOfGerman]

I really agree:)

[copnite12342]

i never used a dishwasher in my life,even though we have one. i always hand wash it.

[tomboy9612]

same here hand wash is actually better

[Falzone77]

Im with you ,,,,you wash them then put them in ??? thats crazy talk ,,,

[copnite12342]

yup. are people so busy[or lazy] that they cant' wash thir dishes?

[LordAnubisIV]

That's how it works at our house lt's like pre-washing =_= it's annoying cuz I'm the one that has to do them

[rosesrwthu4ever]

ok i agree........ i do all the laundry and didnt know tht whole white and dark thiing i do it together and color safe bleach

and i do allllll the dishes....... my plates and silver ware go on bottom with pots and pans and the on top is the bowls.... thats the way it was made so .... yeah

[Keeby12]

"No-one told me that there had to be a pattern to the dishwasher."

Neither did I Bill. I learned the hard way that there's an order to it.

[ultrajd]

Its not just wives that bitch atcha like that I have a live-in girlfriend shes the same way.

[MJeremy99]

this guy is performing at the Local fair in Central Point, Oregon

[cebuanoguy]

lol "cough cough, whend u eat the

Possum?"

[oregoncoastman]

I'm sure that he does realize this. Comedians like to exaggerate things for comedic value.

[KingdomKing13]

Er...I'm 21, and I didn't know the first 3 things on that list. So I'm actually inclined to believe him.

[trix174]

this guy is soo fuckin funny live!

[6505000]

its like peeing

[totallytempo]

Evel Kenevel couldn't have made that leap.

[dstebbin]

"Nobody told me that there had to be a pattern to the dishwasher."

Me neither. I learned the hard way that there's an order.

[ecdcheergurl96]

@dstebbin I am the dish washer so I get to make the pattern.

[americanu197]

@dstebbin thats because you are so ignorant you cant see that some stuff gets washed better in certain situations

[KIMoPEANUToshow]

funny

[Keeby12]

"I guess you dont."

ROFL ROFL ROFL

Funniest dude ever!