I find that I manipulate my bf by laying a guilt trip on him by the way I word my responses to something that isn't what I want to hear. I don't always realize that I'm doing it because I think that I'm agreeing with him and he feels manipulated by the way that I word my responses to situations. I realize I do need to respect that he's not ready to tell me something and is still mulling it over in his mind, but I feel left out, sad and hurt even though I know he will tell me when he's ready to.
What a wonderful way to change the perception of the controller! This approach is so simple and very effective. To some, it might not sound conventional, but if healing takes place... It is successful. Thanks Tia!
...I just want to say THANKS again because your video really made me think hard about what was going on under the surface with me and the other guy and what I should have done, if I could do it all over again. And how I would have been happy to do it differently, and to have the courage to push and put myself out there, and to have faith in my strength of self.
I was just in a brief relationship with someone with whom I was cast as the chaser. He kept putting me in the spot of the initiator, but then he pulled back due to circumstance and we have lost connection. I think he was casting it this way so that he would have an easy way out without looking bad if he wanted to fly away. It is weird and I'm trying to figure it out because he was giving me positive signals. You are right, he was covertly controlling outcomes, and I didn't see that.
NO,NO,NO sweetheart,some times you just need to walk away,i do not agree with that.Your gonna get some hurt very bad or maybe worse,if its not working and your pulling your hair out,and they still continue to drive you in that kind of frenzy,you need to get out to hell with wasting your life on evil manipulating,GET OUT,pray for them is all you can do.
I was with someone for a very long time. We planned on getting married and having children. We ended living on oppsosite sides of the country for jobs family friends etc. I'm still deepy in love with him. I ahve everything in my life now except him. How can I try to get him to be with me again in a long distance relationship with out manipulating him? I'm trying to be selfless but that is why we are apart.
Oh sweetie, ur asking wrong quest. ASk "how can I let go?". Your world is a mirror of U. You're already in relationship with him just not the type u want. But what is THIS experience trying to tell you? You'll settle for scraps and are not fiercely committed to self, therefore he reflects the same back to you. He has no choice. A mirror can only reflect back what is there...
1) Let go, do whatever it takes, fight for U!
2) only then will u attract HE who is fiercely in love n committed to U
Isn't it bad when some of the traits of how I've been acting is like her ex-boyfriend. I have a problem with trusting her. I thought I wasn't going to be controlling when she went away for exchange but, I need help to just let go and move on with my life. Maybe, you could help me out. I'm a clingy (attached) person when it comes to loving someone.
You are in the belief that they are the source of love in your life. Know that love is not some thing you get or give away, it's an expression of your energy. You are energy, you are also love. Correct your false belief and you will not only love more but appreciate love more when it is expressed to you.
My girlfriend just went away to Japan for a year. I'm so clingy to her and think about her a lot because I love her. I was the chaser most of the time in our relationship and since she went away, I haven't been eating or sleeping right and my mood has been just controlling from my end and thinking about what she is doing all the time so that she doesn't screw me over. I need some advice.
Wow 100% I am the person you are describing. I am in a dysfunctional relationship which just seems to cycle and cycle, i have recognized what im doing and so desperately want to stop. I want to be with this partner because yes I do love them, but i am not sure about how i should not be controlled anymore.
Love, list all the experiences frm exes: disappearing, invalidating ur feelings, put u 2nd etc.. then write out questions 2 self: "In what ways do I skip out on my own needs? How do I invalidate myself & when?
When all answered sit... in silence with it for as long as it takes. Resolve to forgive & love self for ALL your past actions...understand who you were then and who you are choosing to be now...
That has been me previously in relationships. Some of my My exes have just "disappeared". Thanks for pointing out the cause, now I can facilitate healing. Do you think affirmations would work, like the one Louise Hay uses? I was thinking of saying something like, "I no longer have the desire to be controlled.." What do u recommend?
I find that I manipulate my bf by laying a guilt trip on him by the way I word my responses to something that isn't what I want to hear. I don't always realize that I'm doing it because I think that I'm agreeing with him and he feels manipulated by the way that I word my responses to situations. I realize I do need to respect that he's not ready to tell me something and is still mulling it over in his mind, but I feel left out, sad and hurt even though I know he will tell me when he's ready to.
canadian893 4 days ago
right on the money with this, im under control
Onemillionmoney 2 months ago
thanks you for that message because that the way i feel in my relationship. and i will do what you say. just look in myself to see what i want
Kimiko123ful 3 months ago
Great video, are you a therapist?
wcgmirror 3 months ago
i have given up but i'm still so angry at them :(
blackwayfarers 4 months ago
Wow! Pretty insightful.
EverlastingVision 6 months ago
What a wonderful way to change the perception of the controller! This approach is so simple and very effective. To some, it might not sound conventional, but if healing takes place... It is successful. Thanks Tia!
Ju1ietable 1 year ago
love this - you have gift. Thank you for sharing it with the world!
YasminViraniTV 1 year ago
I've been looking for words like these for a long time now! It helped me a lot today. thank you!!
thaskunk1 1 year ago
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NjhuyPloikb 1 year ago
...I just want to say THANKS again because your video really made me think hard about what was going on under the surface with me and the other guy and what I should have done, if I could do it all over again. And how I would have been happy to do it differently, and to have the courage to push and put myself out there, and to have faith in my strength of self.
1whitehorse1 1 year ago
I was just in a brief relationship with someone with whom I was cast as the chaser. He kept putting me in the spot of the initiator, but then he pulled back due to circumstance and we have lost connection. I think he was casting it this way so that he would have an easy way out without looking bad if he wanted to fly away. It is weird and I'm trying to figure it out because he was giving me positive signals. You are right, he was covertly controlling outcomes, and I didn't see that.
1whitehorse1 1 year ago
NO,NO,NO sweetheart,some times you just need to walk away,i do not agree with that.Your gonna get some hurt very bad or maybe worse,if its not working and your pulling your hair out,and they still continue to drive you in that kind of frenzy,you need to get out to hell with wasting your life on evil manipulating,GET OUT,pray for them is all you can do.
curdi2000 1 year ago
I was with someone for a very long time. We planned on getting married and having children. We ended living on oppsosite sides of the country for jobs family friends etc. I'm still deepy in love with him. I ahve everything in my life now except him. How can I try to get him to be with me again in a long distance relationship with out manipulating him? I'm trying to be selfless but that is why we are apart.
Blondeartable 2 years ago
Oh sweetie, ur asking wrong quest. ASk "how can I let go?". Your world is a mirror of U. You're already in relationship with him just not the type u want. But what is THIS experience trying to tell you? You'll settle for scraps and are not fiercely committed to self, therefore he reflects the same back to you. He has no choice. A mirror can only reflect back what is there...
1) Let go, do whatever it takes, fight for U!
2) only then will u attract HE who is fiercely in love n committed to U
awakenedave 2 years ago
Isn't it bad when some of the traits of how I've been acting is like her ex-boyfriend. I have a problem with trusting her. I thought I wasn't going to be controlling when she went away for exchange but, I need help to just let go and move on with my life. Maybe, you could help me out. I'm a clingy (attached) person when it comes to loving someone.
asianamusement 2 years ago
You are in the belief that they are the source of love in your life. Know that love is not some thing you get or give away, it's an expression of your energy. You are energy, you are also love. Correct your false belief and you will not only love more but appreciate love more when it is expressed to you.
awakenedave 2 years ago
My girlfriend just went away to Japan for a year. I'm so clingy to her and think about her a lot because I love her. I was the chaser most of the time in our relationship and since she went away, I haven't been eating or sleeping right and my mood has been just controlling from my end and thinking about what she is doing all the time so that she doesn't screw me over. I need some advice.
asianamusement 2 years ago
Wow 100% I am the person you are describing. I am in a dysfunctional relationship which just seems to cycle and cycle, i have recognized what im doing and so desperately want to stop. I want to be with this partner because yes I do love them, but i am not sure about how i should not be controlled anymore.
enomto 2 years ago
Love, list all the experiences frm exes: disappearing, invalidating ur feelings, put u 2nd etc.. then write out questions 2 self: "In what ways do I skip out on my own needs? How do I invalidate myself & when?
When all answered sit... in silence with it for as long as it takes. Resolve to forgive & love self for ALL your past actions...understand who you were then and who you are choosing to be now...
awakenedave 3 years ago
Say "I love & accept myself completely".. Give yourself the love, understanding, and needed compassion u wished they had given u.
Do a denial 1st then affirm. but "feel"..what ur saying or it won't work. Example: "I am NOT a victim who needs to be controlled, I AM powerful!"
I hope this helps honey!
XOXOX!!!
Tia
awakenedave 3 years ago
That has been me previously in relationships. Some of my My exes have just "disappeared". Thanks for pointing out the cause, now I can facilitate healing. Do you think affirmations would work, like the one Louise Hay uses? I was thinking of saying something like, "I no longer have the desire to be controlled.." What do u recommend?
lovesproduct 3 years ago