Being confronted about Self Injury & Depression.

[GuitarType01]

When you don't get along with coworkers, it's going to be very difficult keeping or even enjoying the job. Depending on the situation, if you need the job, you have to find a way to make it work, meaning, you have to keep a professional demeanor, nothing to do w/your pesonal life, and get along with the people there, not necessarily that you have to befriend them. You don't have to like everyone at work, but you do have to make an effort to get along with them for the sake of keeping your job.

[Sequoiajayde]

wow. thats kinda scary that that guy said that. i've had a teacher grab my arm and tell me that i need mental help 2 weeks ago.

[ghostbird92]

wow fuck working there too. sorry but from what you've described, it sounds like a nightmare working for those people with their painfully fake smiles. eesh. you deserve better

[ghostbird92]

FUCK those religious nuts!!!

[drpipper5]

people in washington state are some of the most close minded people out there from what ive experienced (i live in edmonds) and they can be terrible

[Ellliezeyy]

Omgg, I hate it when people do it for attention too !! I admire your audacity to stand up for yourself. That guy? What a ho. Really.

[xLaurLizx]

I'm pretty sure someone firing you for those reasons are illegal. Keep fighting girl, you are amazing!! xxx

[turboslut]

Get into a different type of work. Maybe bar tender, or medical m pharmacy.

[Somethingproductable]

I was totally confronted by my sped teacher. She went up to me and said "hey smilie" and I was kind of put off my this, and I asked why she called me that. She said "Well I never see you smiling." I was kind of furious because I never really liked this teacher, so I just basically said "how I am is none of your business. You are supposed to help me get good grades, not criticize how I am."

[Hoopybluefood]

Keep taking steps forward everyday... Thats such positive advice , Thankyou :)

[thegigm]

quite often in the UK there are video cameras recoding the workers, perhaps if this continues to happen and the work place has them ask for the tapes so you can study your performance and see if you are actually acting depressed at work without knowing.

[ltplauren4138]

Thank u so much for your videos xsullengirlx they have been very helpful for me & even tho i still have trouble talking to my parents about my SI ur so real and honest about it all it makes me glad to kno someone understands and there is actually someone else who has problems covering their scars and stuff my parents think i dont cut anymore but i cant stop and it sucks to lie to them and even lie to my pasture and friends...

[Gazness002]

People always ask me if I'm depsressed even though I don't act like it. I guess there are those people who can just see the issues you are going through.

[ezb97]

You are such a strong person how do u do it??

[xmoroseguyx]

You did nothing wrong! at the the coffee shop, I think you have unfortunately found one of those places of employment, where a closed group workplace mentality has taken hold. Think positive! If you get stuck working at the same place for to long, theirs a risk, you will start acting like those judgemental zombies! I mean, they had the nerve talk all that b.s to you and then "let you go" two weeks! trust me, in real terms of employment you were definitely better off leaving them anyway.

[metalguitarguy95]

in my opinion religion causes nothing but pain.

people have been killing each other for thousands of years because of religion.

if god is so great, why do people kill each other because of him?

[christianteen92]

@metalguitarguy95 rain falls on the just and the unjust alike

[exeuroweenie]

 Fired for not acting dorky.I wonder what a court would say.You act perfectly normal to me.Maybe you have too much class for them.

[abc123w00tmsn]

ur so right. but do u think i should consider continuing? i mean everyone tells me to stop and that theyll help but they just ditch me... i dont know what to do... i cant tell my theripst anything. and the worst part is.. im 13 and i feel like lifes over. p.s ur my new role model

[AnonymusSources]

You are so brave and inspiring. I still haven't found the strength to tell my parents. You should write a book or something on this because you are truly fantastic.

[Ellenbaby707]

You're in washington? awesome..if i see you i'm gonna ask you a million questions. That's terrible that this happened. Similar thing happened to my sister. I'm sorry that happened..

[malbert34]

listen to sum thug motivation bitch:

/watch?v=Xi4Q_ME0QSQ

[xhelpingdreamx]

People are stupid, if you're doing the job right, it shouldn't matter if you don't fit in.

[canibalcheese]

that;s interesting, someone i might be able to actually relate to...

[alarmclockmassacre]

I live w/o a regret for NEthing I've ever done. I'm proud of my life & my coping strategy. Cutting is about wanting to live, not about dying. About fixating on a tangible pain, that you can see & claim, instead of all the neglect, abuse & grief that leaves you just as scarred but everyone still expects you to smile & get over it. No 1 understands it's not that easy. NE ways, I understand what it's like, & I'm glad you made these vids, maybe it'll help some1 else to understand. ALL LOVE - ACM

[alarmclockmassacre]

My family doesn't understand or support me. My parents flip out, yelling at me and cursing me out for it, which is why I don't tell them to begin with. I have an older sister(by 15years) who is a psychotic bitch, who likes to use that against me calling me a freak-tard attention cutter. This has lead to me having severe trust issues, for that and for Mom saying she'd have me locked up in an asylum. I'm 23. I don't hide my scars. I like them. They are like a tattoo to me. They tell my life story.

[alarmclockmassacre]

I self-mutilate as well... I've give and lead discussion panels for teenagers experiencing this and for adults who don't understand why their kids are doing this. I've been in many situations where people tell me I'm doing this for attention. Which is stupid since I normally don't talk about it and wear long sleeves. When People ask I tell them to mind their own business or politely ignore them. My significant other has helped me alot with not doing this but sometimes I still need to.

[anarkai27]

oh btw... i do think that you should at LEAST talk to a job counselour... or whatever they're called in your community... disability outreach... if you haven't already. they can at least tell you whether or not you qualify or what you should do after you tell them about your situation.

[anarkai27]

wow... love your vids. i know you said you're in wa state... didn't expect that mentality up there... down here in AL, different story... i worry constantly about my coworkers finding out about my problems. sorry you encountered such negativity and DISCRIMINATION! (because that's what it is when people "like us" are judged unfairly...)

[xMatchBookPoetx]

i started SI about 3 years ago now.. i did it when my brother almost died ..but i did it for three months and then it got worse. it got to the point when i would do it out of boredness. so my friend eddie tried to help me for a year until he commited suicide...but now its not as bad..i just try to keep my hands and mind busy. but when everyone sees my scars then all stare at me. like im a freak until my friends go off on them heh

[mypantsareTIGHTER]

something similar happened to me a few years ago. i was at a mall. i had recently started cutting, and i was with my best friend who had no idea. this kid passed us by, and shouted "emo!" from behind us. i was so mad hearing this, i got this big rush of adrenaline. i turned around and asked him to repeat himself. that was when i got into this little rant about stereotypes. once i was finished he commented on my scars. i started yelling again and ended up in tears...pretty embarassing...

[Ellenbaby707]

@mypantsareTIGHTER that's really terrible..i don't see how anyone can act like that...I'm sorry :/

[liamsmythe2009]

I think that firering someone for being a self injurer Is totally wrong, I think it should be illegal, if I got kicked out of my school for SI I would feel terrible because they shouldn't treat you like that... I always hide my cuts and scars, the only time they are exposed at school is when I'm in sports, I always wear long sleeved shirts, I feel for you the people at your work should be ashamed for firering you,

Thanks :)

[aomtr333]

HAH! Its funny you should mention religion...see I recently got this job just for the holiday season and lo and behold I happened to unknowingly apply at a place where it seems that the live, sleep, breath jesus..and I must say that yesterday I was asked about my religion and you should have seen the reaction to my "I'm an Atheist" response, then to top things off, I was helping someone with something, and my sleeve just happened to ride up and so some of my scars became visible..

[aomtr333]

this coworker I barely know who was really nice to me grabs my arm and pushes all of my sleeve up exposing all of my fucking scars! Thankfully, we were the only ones in that area at the time. Anyway, here I am, mouth agape with my damn arm in her grubby clutches..she asks what happened .I'm in shock so my usual excuse of a deadly car wreck slips my mind and I come up with the damn cat story, she says I'm a terrible liar and then starts looking at me with disgust while saying thats satanism!

[aomtr333]

For some reason, my mind frantically starts trying to convince her that its a done deal...all in the past..so that makes it alright....right? Well not in her eyes....she just repeats her satan bullcrap and sort of lets go of my arm like I soiled her with my impurity..I still haven't gotten over it..its been years since I've SI...and she sort of triggered me..I've been dealing with the fucking temptation all day...she made me feel. like a worm..like whats the point in having stopped..its terrible

[ninjapandabear]

dude, that sucks.

[LucienFate]

i dont like many people and i dont like this world , it sucks but there is nothing we can do about and those assholes that diss these people are simply ball less , a little blood loss never killed no one...well....not many and maybe its fools like you that make these people do it , sure there are those out there that can be cured but for many its not somthing that can be cured with words or pills , its simply seeing things for what they are but not being able to change them.

[LucienFate]

dont be ashamed if youre depressed , make it your strength i pride my self on my depression it has allowed me to see the world clearly just simply focus it on somthing else , as for self injury relax its done all over the world as initation and as art those that moan about a few cuts should check out what some tribes do.

anyway its better to cut than to jump and yes if you are somewhat jaded it does feel good...why complain to a cutter when there down it only makes it worse.

[cyclone097]

I'm kind of young for self injury(I'd rather not say how old I am) but I have been confronted about my self-injury several times by different people(two of them were friends) and they would ask about the cuts on my arm or on my legs, and I just have to ignore them. I know how you feel because Some times I try to defend myself but other times I just walk away. (I'm a big fan of your vids!)

[pairunoyd]

ive cut on myself but barely made it bleed. Does that mean worse might come?

[marrahthon]

OMFG! getting let go for not acting dorky?!! That is so stupid! You just be you chickie! You seem like a great person with a really good shoulder on her head. Good luck with your book :)

[0121ryanh117]

Its really fucked up but, pain feels good.

[1993rockergirl]

omg nice fucking cuts omg that is not anything you say to anyone who self ingers omg wow thats not something you do every day

[iLuvDaniel471]

i find it easier to tell the truth about it and lie about why i did it.

[shunnagay]

well ppl need to kno that not ALL Christians or religious ppl stereotype and stuff coz im christian (even tho many ppl wud beg to differ) and i dont stereotype and stuff like that maybe it's because i self injure myself and i receive the looks from ppl and thing like that but i dont. ps. i love ur videos keep doing wht ur doing :)

[Lueje777]

We all have issues... people just forget that!

[starrgiiirl]

geeezz, maybe they know or heard about ur videos and its just discrimination. idk tho. thats really rude

[monkeymna92]

how do you tell your parents your depressed and self injure?

[XoXBlackFuryXoX]

Them firing you was really awful. They have no right to try to change your personality. Unless you're working for the Geek Squad being a dork isn't a job requirement. As long as you're courteous to your coworkers and customers than employers should not be allowed to fire you for "personality issues". It seems like you were polite to everyone at your work so they fired you without just cause. I know exactly what you mean about always being accused of acting "depressed" even when you aren't.

[Taffinmafaffin]

Oh you didn't do anything wrong there. You described the typical "us only" club, and usualy "us only" catagory types like to hire "the other individual" till they kick them out, because they want someone to gossip about and mess with so they can feel 'together' and important.

[xxxpunkxrockxgurlxxx]

u r like my role model thnxx i luv all ur videos tht i have scene they really helped me thnxx i luv ya ur amazin!!!!

[saralou1402]

i really like your eye makeup :D

[trihato]

I LOVE ALL OF YOUR VIDEOS!

they help me a lot! and i think you're totally right..!

bye!

kises

[aryonas]

Those sons of bitches. Discrimination against depressed people. Jesus, even people with somwhat severe handicaps are able to get employed. So what the hell is this? Because life is shit we are not allowed to work at these places? That just makes me so angry...

[Muddman201]

I don't see why anyone should have problems with self-harmers... We're all humans. When people pick self-harmers and other people out like that dick did to you, it gets me so mad... And you look so beautiful in all your videos... I can't help to notice.

[EvyDarkAngel]

You are an amazing person, and I think I have found a role model. Because you are amazing, such strength! You are amazing!

[xsullengirlx]

You're a sweetheart, thank you very much. :) Take care.

[EvyDarkAngel]

Thanks you very much, because, I understand about all this, cos I'm goin through it myself, and this really helps, esp the hiding scars thing, really helpful. I'll try and take care, if I can. Stay strong, you're amazing, peace out

[amenah1989]

i think i got made 'reduntant' because of my scars. the uniform was short sleeved. sucks that i cant get a job. i cant go to uni to become a counsellor because i cant afford it because no one will employ me because of my scars. why cant ppl b open minded and act like real people.

[HazelHemmorage]

Wow, the way you handled that guy was awesome. I'm really amazed at that kind of strength.

I mean, whenever someone sees any scars (if my sleeve comes up) I start panicking and try not to cry.

[bethanBB]

That is so ridiculous about your job! People shouldn't be let go because of depression, i dont know if it is only here in the uk but its like illegal to do that!

[MrsKiraDepp]

First off, your hair looks so amazing! And what a jackass guy! What the hell was going through his mind?

[br00talxbecca]

OMG WHAT A DICK! he's an asshole! i'm 17 and still go to highschool, i wear tee shirts ALL the time, it's annoying when people like that speak out to me like that. i dont want attention, i just don't care and i don't have enough money to afford a whole load of hoodies. i still would've slapped him!

[krisgallia99]

When you said that he said nice effing cuts my mouth dropped. I was like shoked. I could not belive that he said that to you. But when he said that he cuts it was like dude why would you say that if you just how it feels. I really don't even know what to say to this video, I am still shokced!

[xsullengirlx]

I was shocked too! I have no idea why he would do that, except maybe he self injures too and was mad or upset that I was showing my scars and he was covering up with a hoodie - maybe he felt self conscious of his own behavior. I'm not sure, but where ever he is now, I hope he is getting help.

[aSadPie]

I just hate it when people call me a "cutter" or even worse "emo" D:

[ProblemsInNumbers]

its not as bad as my friend, she just drags her finger across her wrist and gives me a weird look instead of saying it out loud

[ilovexbar]

aww, thats horrible :( x

[4snowlover]

not happy enough, it's got to be this one. I can relate, but I'm lucky, still in school, close friends just perceive me as the sometimes quiet sometimes funny girl. my effort to act "funny" pays off. well also that stranger, if I ran into someone like him, I'd go "OMG" for like ten minutes before I could actually talk or move on.

[caseyface1243]

i can really relate :/

i hope things get better for you

[anishabakhda]

i can't believe you didn't win prom queen, your sooooooo beautiful.

[k10dance]

I think you handled the situation great, and I'm proud of you!

[SilverSuspension]

I LOVE your whole look here <33

you're so pretty

[thatandreachick]

amenn<3

[nadaleex3]

Your right, she is really pretty. i love your videos.

[wormazz1989]

this girl have a devil's eyes. Love <3

[CandyxDarling]

You look beautiful in this video.

[lilmommax]

i never called in sick b/c i would feel guilty, but i always have had a problem with being a few minutes late everywhere i go and that really pisses off my employers. also i always wear lots of bracelets to hide scars on my wrists. most of my scars are under my clothes but i do have some on my wrists which i really wish i didnt : (

[lilmommax]

i have been told by 2 seperate jobs and by my instructor at cosmetology school that i need to get professional help b/c of irritability, mood swings, inappropriate crying, anxiety, etc... i also have struggled in the past with eating disorders and self harm, which i have recently been thinking about again. i also stopped smoking pot which i have used for 6 years to cope and have not stopped freaking out since! (its been a couple weeks) so yeah, i broke down and i made an psych appt.. aaaahhh!!!

[maxandbrener]

you are great!

[mirikam8]

People please read:

if someone is hurting you verbally or mentally: LASH OUT. don't bottle things up. it CAN lead to depression. If you take things off your chest you can maybe just avoid that big concept of depression. I know some may not like you for lashing out, but when things cool down, tell them why you lashed out. Make yourself heard.

I've found if you bottle things up it's not only not good for you but perhaps could develop into other mental scars/problems.

[gabbyownsyou]

I've been self injuring for over eight years. I was also fired from a job because of my depression, and anxiety. i never showed off my scars either, and because of that, i haven't been able to get a job and am forced to be on disability, too. it feels nice to know someone else expirianced it too.

[angleseyes18]

As long as you feel happy out side of work i think that you need to find a job that you will really enjoy that you want to do. Men are idots most of the time. keep strong your going great and your make up is so nice be safe XXX

[tscotty32]

Lets get a few things straight here. Yes, most men are pigs.. but as a guy let me also say that most women are pigs now adays also.

I have tried for YEARS to find a nice descent woman and NO sex was not even a focus point. I don't want a woman who has slept with half the county because I don't do it.

Work, doesn't matter.. its a means to an end. Find God in your life, find a man that would love you AS YOU ARE. and live your life to the fullest.

[tracyleann88]

I agree...a lot of girls these days are like that too...I just don't understand it. I don't understand why people have to be that way.

I also agree with the bottom half...find God, and someone who likes you for you. Live your life to the fullest. I understand depression, and cutting...I used to do it, but God saved me from that. I haven't watched the video about faith yet, but I'm sorry for whatever bad things you have expirienced in Christianity. I will be praying for you.

[tscotty32]

Thanks tracy. I am at more peace now then I have ever been. My heart is not broken nor lonely anymore sinse I have made God my focus and hearts desire. I walk with him every day and if that means I have to walk the rest of earthly life alone then so be it.

I wish you the best too tracy, may God richly bless and comfort you as well :)

[xxtinytoxiicxx]

Didnt she just say in this video that she doesnt like religion?

You jesus freaks really dont quit do you? >.>

[thunderblade11]

Firstly i know how you feel even though im only 13. You shouldnt have been fired from either jobs because you were depressed. My mates picked up on it first, they freaked out but didnt do anything. I never did it too badly. The school make me feel alone and like i have a disorder. Im over it now but the best thing you can do is seek advice from the job centre and make a comment to your old boss after you get some help. You seem to be ok but you look strong. Good luck message me lol.

[ahhh0xxfantax3]

Recently i have tried to tell a few of my closest friends how much im hurting inside and i showed her my arms. She busted out laughing and called me an emo loser. i laughed of course but it shut me up about self injury. im not telling any more friends. NOONE. i dont understand why ppl laugh at pain. i stopped going to church and i am in a bad place..i understand why people cut. it helps...but i want to stop. you inspire me.

[stopselfinjury]

Glad you are recovering!

[stopselfinjury]

You seem opposed to trying. Seen that before also. I didn't really try for a long time either. There is hope still, when you are ready to stop, you can.

But you leave comments that say simplistic things like "you should stop now"

Re-read my comments. Where did I say that?

Build up to it, if you can't stop, self injury less, a small victory is still a victory

[xsullengirlx]

Very true. I have been in the recovery process for well into a year now. I speak on SI here on youtube in order to help other people who are struggling. I am not wanting to be preached to about Self Injury, I am very experienced and knowledgeable about it. I am not opposed to trying, I dont know where you come off saying that. Im just saying that you cant come to someones video who IS in recovery and tell me to SI less.

[stopselfinjury]

Who said it was easy? I just said it is possible.

[xsullengirlx]

But you leave comments that say simplistic things like "you should stop now", and people take that as a sign that you're just saying it's THAT easy. I know you must know it's not, but that's how your comments come across sometimes, and it makes people feel hopeless, because they have tried and it hasn't been easy for them, like you make it sound like it should be. Maybe just reword what you say?

[stopselfinjury]

I'd go to stopping self injury from here. It gets far worse. There is hope to stop I stopped after 15 years, anyone can. Honest video

[xsullengirlx]

It's not always as easy as "just stop"... Truly, I have been self injuring for 11 years, so I understand and have been through it myself. There is hope to recover, but it's not an easy road. thanks for the comment.

[shoguntotalwar]

Hi I'm 16 and a self-injurer. I have never had an expierience such as yours but the fact that he say such a stupid remark shows how badly he feels for himself. I would never call someone out like that because i know that its a terrible feeling to have someone just even stare at it let alone say something like that.

Good luck on finding a job. :)

[MiztrezAlkatraz]

People can't attack you for your emotions. I'm a self injurer as well, suffer from depressions and the like, but if I'm ever called out on my depression, I tell them that shit happens and I can't win all the time. Of course I was lucky enough to find a job that doesn't attack me.

KEep up your good work, hun.

Alk

[MerynCadell]

In terms of a suggestion, I would recommend finding a therapist with whom you feel really comfortable - one who isn't going to JUST focus on self-injury, and think that has to be dealt with exclusively before anything else.... You're obviously inquisitive and self-aware, and I think you'd do well to find a therapist who can pick up your trains of thought on all of this, and help you make some decisions, or evaluations, etc., as well as provide support.

[MerynCadell]

Hi, I stumbled upon this video, and I just can't get over the LUDICROUSNESS of that coffee place situation. What does Starbucks want - a whole bunch of cheery, identical, personality-less drones? (Actually, come to think of it, that is what it's like in there>) I'm glad you're gone from there, because it's crazy-making to be given suggestions repeatedly about how to be 'bubblier' or 'dorkier' or anything. Jesus Christ, who needs to be evaluating themselves in that way?

[Lee3nn12]

i used to self-injure havent in months tho ..well cept auguest when my ex left me that hurt BAD..-thank u for making vids about it <3 xoxo

[hailstorm1375]

Seriously if the ppl who I buy my coffee from in the mornings acted dorky, I'd be going somewhere else. You don't wanna work there anywayz!

[leighannenoelle]

Wow, this is the first time I've ever seen one of your videos but it meant a lot to me because it made me feel not so alone with my depression and self injury. You should become a therapist and then we could all go to you! Keep up with the videos. I'm going to go hunt down some more of them now.

[xsullengirlx]

why thank you... i have done many videos on self injury and depression, so thank you for watching. I made this channel in order to let people know they are not alone... although i would probably need to recover in order to be a therapist ;) but thank you for the compliment, it means a lot. Take care xo

[robstein2056]

I just wanted to say that I feel the same way about SI as you do and I'm proud of you for giving your all at that job. It seems like you didn't have the most fun working there any way. If the place where I was working didn't like my personality or the way I acted then I would just find a different job because If I'm going to be spending a good portion of my week there I want to be happy and comfortable. Thanks for posting some interesting vids.

Robby

[sagwald]

aren't you scared that your employer/s might have been watching your videos? as you said, a lot of people don't understand.

[xsullengirlx]

no, because I feel if they did watch my videos, they would understand better... but still, even if they did- i wouldn't be afraid of that. This is my life and everyone is entitled to what they think and feel, and to express it. I will not apoligize for my videos if they ever did watch... i hope one day more people (including employers) will understand. thanks for your comment.

[sagwald]

I watch your videos all the time, i'm hooked :) I see what you mean. I just would be afraid that employers wouldn't hire me because they would feel like I propably would call in sick often aso. I admire you for being open and not afraid of being exposed to the world. I love your videos, keep posting :D

[xsullengirlx]

thank you very much for watching, i am glad that you do... it is hard sometimes because i feel like a lot of employers are out to get me, lol, but youtube is a long shot, and if they ever did check this channel it would be a shame if they didn't hire me because of it. Take care :)

[hideHYDEimcoming]

i hate people. the worst thing is you have to pretend to like them when all you want to do is brutally mutilate them there and then.

[cubangi4l]

I have cut marks but mainly on my ankle. I have to deal with people staring too. it gets easier. it does. how are things going now?

[msdragonfly1]

theropy is good for everyone, we all need to do it. good luck with your problem. i would recomend going into corporate, they don't care if you're depressed, especially accounting.

[sicheerleader]

I would have slapped the guy. I get very offensive especially when someone calls me out like that on my scars.

[ncnikonguy]

I feel your pain, our recovery is indeed a long and winding road, all the best to you, and I would have sued nordstroms for every penny I could get....our illness is sadly very taboo in this society...I'm considering disability as well.....hang in there

[tifferooni0]

i know what you mean. keep working on your recovery

[jessicaa232]

that gay is a fuckin asshole.

[xsullengirlx]

true that.

[kinnichunk]

Hey girly, I don't know what to write in here. Sometime I feel like the things you say come straight from my head, we have so much in common but just wanted to say that I love you, and I love listening to your videos, so keep making them!

[sisterxanadu]

Ok you will have to forgive the lack of full words in that last comment, i wanted to get it all in! lol sorry! take care! xxx

[sisterxanadu]

hey! Just wana say i reli enjoy watchin ur vids, U hav a voice dat makes ppl wnt2 listen :D

ur nt takin steps bk hun, dey r just Steps sideways! u hav come so far so u no u cn do it! U wer totally rite bout dat lad, he is obv insecure bt i agree, flashin his cuts about is nt gd & scars & cuts r a hell of alot diff, 1 is "what is" the otha is "what was" Neways im rambling now, so gona keep it short, jus keep ur chin up! So many ppl r watchin ova u, on here n wher u r now.

Big hugs!!!

Mandyxxx

[lainonthewired]

Hey. This is Lain from OD. I love listening to you talk. The strength and optimism in your voice is infectious. You help me feel better about my own issues.

[xsullengirlx]

Hey! Fancy seeing you here... Thanks for watching and for the compliment :) My goal is to be relateable, and to help people feel better, or less alone. Either by expressing things they can't talk about-- OR just by being crazier than everyone else ;) Take care xo

[psunridernwi]

Oh Also about that guy at the concert. I was thinking, perhgaps he was trying to connect with you? But didn't know how? Maybe he used you as an opportunity to Show himself off because he does it for attention & thinks he's a bad ass. Uhg, I have such distaste for people like that. Is self injury becoming an EMO thing? I noticed Emo's are doing it just to be..well...EMO hmm SAD and makes me angry.

[xsullengirlx]

In a way, I thought maybe he was trying to connect with me... but he also seemed like he didn't care exposing his cuts in a crowd full of people. I don't ever like attention drawn to me from my SI, and it bugged me that he wanted attention. Those kinds of people are what give US a bad name, and make people call US emo! It makes me mad, too.

[psunridernwi]

I am also wearing clothes that expose my scars, but never when there are fresh cuts. I am ashamed and there is the fear that someone will freak out on me about it. Plus why expose my cuts to people? why expose them? I have not cut in about 3 weeks but I do feel the urge to cut for the euphoria. Watching your video today has stalled me from cutting. Hearing you say that you have not cut in months made me feel like "Well she's doing really good, I can do this!) So thanks a lot for sharing.

[xsullengirlx]

I dont feel there is much of a reason to expose fresh cuts. Those are something a little more private, that should be kept hidden. Scars are permanant though, so it's different. I am proud of you for not cutting in 3 weeks, it is very difficult. I go through times of not doing it at ALL, and then doing it a lot. I know you can do it. Stay strong :)

[CrookOfHearts]

Clearly your self esteem is diminished.

[xsullengirlx]

Well, most obviously. Need to get that back somehow.

[dwype]

: )

[jenjdickinson]

Thanks for sharing Christie and I'm so proud of you for sharing all that you have. Please do not listen to those nuts at your job. That's so fake how they wanted you to behave. And that's so weird with that guy, how he would treat you.

Please hang in there and call or email me anytime you need a friend!

Love,

Jen

[alexandraleckie]

dont think i understand why you have -7 ratings what is so bad about your coment...?

seriously i am not taking the piss

[MSLisaV]

Wow that is really f---ed up.

Who the hell cares how you act?

They come to the counter you give them their coffee.

How many minutes interaction are you having with the customers?? 3-5?? Are the customers complaining?

If not who the hell cares if you smile?

They got their coffee, that is what they came in for right?

Is this coffee place a chain?

Or an indy artzy fartzy coffee shop?

[xsullengirlx]

I agree... No, the customers never complained. I got along well with them, no one was ever rude to me or anything like that. The interaction at BEST was a few minutes... The coffee place wasn't a chain, no. I worked at Starbucks which was a thousand times better. This place was one of those indie artsy locally owned organic places.

[lulubelle26]

Very strange :/ I would deffenately take acting professionally over acting like a goofy fool :P Just stay yourself and keep going and i hope you get a great job again soon. Take care! :)

[CagedSongBird]

Therapy is really a wonderful thing.  It really saved my life. Personally, I would fight them for firing me, if I were you. The same way you did with your last job. I'm sorry that happened to you at the concert. It really makes me angry when strangers say anything at all. It's none of their business. I'm so glad that you stood up for yourself, and handeled yourself the way you did. (Cont.)

[CagedSongBird]

That is strange, and that would be a weird experience to be in. I hope you start to feel better soon.

Sending you a smile!

(((Hugs))) to you...

Paula

[weefrump]

it i outrageous to be fired for the reason given. i don't know your emplyoment laws in the us, but here that would be a clear case of discrimination. i think you should sek legal advice.

[xsullengirlx]

I agree, it is outrageous. However, laws in my specific state are that employers can terminate employment at ANY time, for ANY reason, or for no reason. However, there are laws against discrimination, and I am considering looking into the legal side of it. Thanks for your advice.

[weefrump]

i hope things work out whatever route you take.

[sonofpissjuice]

i love you

[xsullengirlx]

i love you, too

[xsullengirlx]

Thank you very much for your comments and for sharing a bit of your experience with me. I know it is so hard to deal with these problems and still go about life daily. It is a struggle that a lot of people can relate to, no matter what their specific problems are. It's a daily battle, but so worth the fight. I hope you stay strong as well, because it takes a LOT of guts to be in recovery like you are. Take care.

[cabarto]

You shouldn't thank me for watching. It's definitely the other way around.

[xsullengirlx]

I make these videos for my subscribers, and people like you inspire me to keep sharing my story. I think it's a very two-sided youtube relationship, and as much as people thank me for making the videos, I am amazed and so grateful for the comments and viewers. We'll call it a draw, then? ;)

[cabarto]

Wow. If you didn't underestimate yourself you could do so much good. You're so well spoken and honest. It's refreshing. I like how well you put together vids about your views with so little external pressure or compulsion, despite the consequences. Your videos are inspiring. Please keep it up.

[xsullengirlx]

I certainly try not to underestimate myself--although it is hard when I keep getting let down. I hope that someday I can do good somewhere in this world. It is a long-term goal. Thanks for your compliments about my videos, it means a lot. I will keep it up, and thank you for watching.