Emo Philips - 1983 (part 2 of 2)

[staywithmeedward]

I dont get the Urine joke?

[Braxblaster]

@staywithmeedward I believe that is an anti-joke, sir.

[staywithmeedward]

@Braxblaster Ahhh Got it! ;D

[qwentonomore]

if the joke implies that she was dead HOW THE HELL WAS SHE MAKING THOSE NOISES?!?! id be creeped out. o.O well... then again i wouldnt be in a sexual situation with a corpse but that's not the point

[WGMindless]

@qwentonomore Who said she was making the noise?

What else do you think it would be like with Emo?

[qwentonomore]

@WGMindless true i guess

[NappyHeadedHorse]

A truck.

[NY1love]

At the time I'm writing this comment he hasn't said one thing that is funny. HOWEVER, the way he speaks and draws out words is pretty hilarious. Seems simple though.

[thatoneguyagin]

@vahkahron No, not dead, not even a person.

[Mottlit]

@thatoneguyagin So you're implying that a corpse is still a person.

Right... interesting philosophy, you don't happen to be into necrophilia yourself do you?

[2pairshigh]

its a trombone, and you should hear him play it... music is his only REAL talent!! Emo rocks!!

[Catcherintherye11111]

flossing his teeth and holding an unnecessary trumpet lol

[xxjacuzzixx]

I've had the privilege of meeting Mr. Philips a couple months back... We had a discussion about Jesus Christ and if he were allowed to eat bacon or not!

[staywithmeedward]

What were the last words of his grandfather?

[jimmycrum]

@staywithmeedward "A truck!"

[LordTwinkus]

@staywithmeedward A truck!

[CHoleRecords]

@staywithmeedward A truck! ( before he got hit my a truck )

[FlameAdder]

Nobody can fucking top Emo Philips.

[Kozzi42]

@RippleFilmStudios My dad laughs like that, lol!

[Kozzi42]

@SHADOWKINGOFGAMES An enema is medicated water you shoot up your anus/colon to help you crap.

[SHADOWKINGOFGAMES]

whats the joke about the coffee about?

[sabaths1fan]

@SHADOWKINGOFGAMES An enima is when you put liquids in your anus. He said he uses a hot pot of coffee for it.

[kozmon0t]

master of the stealth punchline

[TheScrewball1982]

So many well writen, sharp jokes in such a short space of time!

[foreal1992]

I love the laughing guy.

[KNSweetness]

could someone describe me the eggs joke and the to tip of her head and the tag on her toes joke?

[misswatsername09]

@KNSweetness tip of her head to the tag on her toes... means shes dead

[KNSweetness]

@misswatsername09 i thought it was that but i didnt know if i was right or not XD

[misswatsername09]

@KNSweetness yea lol

[waterswillrise]

@KNSweetness his sister's eggs, not a chicken's

[moragabart]

@KNSweetness eggs refers to her ovulation.....sorry. The other joke is about the emo character being a necrophiliac in a mortuary....again, sorry.

[KNSweetness]

@moragabart thank you i understand more XDD

[KNSweetness]

" she made some Eggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg­ggsssss!! So we cooked them"

[benpchicago]

he's fantastic live

[JeeRaph]

At the end, he comes back out with his instrument, put's it together, takes it apart and juggles the parts. I think it was another show, though.

[danielanderson69]

3:35 do the creep

[CrimsonToast]

Emos jokes are amazing. He'd be awesome if he had more than 15 of 'em.

[gloomanddoom666]

I saw him when he came to the Colchester arts centre last year he was so damn funny he is a comedy genius

[gloomanddoom666]

I saw him in his most recent gig in the town I live in Colchester uk he was so damn funny the man is a comedy genius

[Ninjewz62]

@Laxetiv I NO RITE!!!!!

[GreenGearMood]

Goddamn. There is NO WAY to read his punchlines until it's come. XD

I love you, Emo. You have my mancrush.

[GreenGearMood]

Goddamn. There is NO WAY to read his punchlines until it's come. XD

I love you, Emo. You have my mancrush.

[Eskidead]

2:18 "One's hot and spicy, the other....analyzes....urin..."

Those small pauses makes that riddle absolutely hilarious! Notmany people could make such great timing. xD

[serial162]

i love emo.the man is a living comedy god,ive not laughed so hard in aages

[AleXGT7]

Haha that necrophiliac joke at 5:30 is classic considering its 1983.

[Shanniquitie]

@AleXGT7 there are necrophiliac jokes told by the ancient romans too.....

[jurvis1]

@AleXGT7 I luv me a good necrophiliac joke.

[breekwhal]

@AleXGT7 why considering its 1983?

[4Gottlos]

@AleXGT7 I don't think 'unconscious' implies that

[Vahkahron]

@4Gottlos to the tag on her toes... that means she's dead pay attention

[Kozzi42]

and at 4:48

[Kozzi42]

At 2:02 it sounds like my dad is laughing there, lol

[DrinkSkateSleep]

I would love to see him live.

[Revstoningpot]

I first heard emo on dr. demento. other than uhf this is the first i've seen of him. way better than audio.

[Steinwaytoday]

What does he say at the beginning after the coffee thing, "I've tried other _______, but it's not the same"?

[affablegiraffable]

@Steinwaytoday enemas

[ravemaster18]

@Steinwaytoday

"enema"

[Oblomov78]

@Steinwaytoday : enemas

[Arxsa]

"If there's any young ladies that would like some action, I'll admit I'm quite handy with the ladies. I was with this girl the other night, and I don't wanna brag, but the way she was responding to my skillful caresses you would have swore that she was.. conscious. Oh, ooh, ooh boy! From the tip of her head... to the tag on her toes!" ♥

[silntdoogood]

Wait what? He brought the trombone out to assemble, then disassemble?

(...I'm going to have to remember that)

[jayci68]

A truck!

[Wulvez]

Hes wicked funny but scares me a bit lmao

[RippleFilmStudios]

There's that one guy in the audience with an absolutely amazing laugh. He makes this even funnier.

[JusticeRightsFreedom]

@RippleFilmStudios

Hes verging on the ricky gervais, not quite there yet. (the guy in the audience that is)

[babysgotsbacks]

What does the riddle mean?! lol

[sabaths1fan]

@babysgotsbacks its really not a riddle. He just says a bowl of chillis is hot, and a urologist analyses urine.

[GaijinTerebi]

Such a brilliant comic

[GalacticCowboy]

What a bloody maniac!

[pennydesouza]

James Dean's talents as a sausage-maker? This is brilliant.

[NPC919]

I love the way he keeps taking the trombone out of it's case XD Masterful details.

[BigWhiteTurkey]

He is above us. He is great. He is better than this "Wierd All" "person".

Man, If I ran society, I'd tell Wierd All to take a hike, and make room for this guy. Guys a genius!

[sabaths1fan]

@BigWhiteTurkey .....Weird *Al*

[DJMORTYBOI]

u want me to do my tribute to elvis? YEAAAHHH  thanks elvis :)

[ecfcmetalhead]

lmao best riddle ever

[shitnrun]

whole lotta dumb people posting comments, but hey it IS youtube

[Topgeneral3070]

LOL I have a love for animals that almost illegal.. xD

[zacharysm148]

i don't get the eggs joke

[HolyHellPreacher]

He says his sister "made" some eggs and they cooked them. By "made", he's implying that she laid the eggs herself.

[CommunityCommentary]

@HolyHellPreacher nah man like her eggs like a human egg not actual food eggs.... if tats what you ment

[mhirtes12]

I guess you just needed to know the period the joke was from.

[radar1020]

i dont get the riddle..

[The3lse]

It's not actually a riddle, it's just two entirely separate things. That's the joke.

[sweetrevenge191]

@The3lse Actually I thought it showed he had the two confused before, because he finally figured out the difference between them now

[Tribune12345]

He talks about coffee. Coffee is a drink but he calls it an enema.

An enema is a liquid (generally for medical reasons) that you insert into the rectum.

[HolyHellPreacher]

There are coffee enemas.

[Nathanamerican27]

Elvis says Your Welcome

R.I.P.

[evlmnkybtr]

An enema is something that is used to clear out your bowels. It's basically a fluid wash that goes up your butt and comes back out with everthing inside. He uses paraprosdokians, so the joke is that you were thinking the pot of coffee woke him up because of the caffeine, but he really used it to clear out his bowels. But now it's not funny...

[maxington26]

me too...

[EpicCelloGirl]

thank you!

[EpicCelloGirl]

what does he say at the end? I couldn't tell what he says

[thekevingilmartin]

@EpicCelloGirl Remember the last words of my grandfather, who said, "A truck!"

[KidArpeggi]

The last words of my grandfather, "A truck!"

[pqlamznbvcx]

is he schizophrenic

[Chocolatecakex33]

3:45 is my fav part!!!

[Botfly100]

I like the way he utilizes the trombone in his act

[sardingu]

I love his props!

[alotosius]

He seems much more energetic in his early work.

I miss the 80's...

[jasmineC4C]

This audience was awesome! He deserves a great crowd because he's such a great performer.

[DJMORTYBOI]

LMFAO!!! FUCKIN SICKKKK!!!

[MusicLovr95]

i love Emo Philips, but it's sad that his religion joke isn't online anymore. It was the best.

[xLightLordx]

What religion joke?

[HRSFW]

The tribute to elvis had me roaring with laughter.

[REPTARxGOESxRAWR]

HA! Emo rocks my purple monkey socks el.OH.el

but whats with that random guy laffn super hard in the background lol

[onyxdaemon]

LMAO I know which guy you mean WAHHH HA HA HA HA WAHHHHH

[Hollow4ever]

wow only half the people made it to the 2nd vid. i think this dude is funny he is original. but people hate originality now

[WestShoreBoys]

@Hollow4ever So true man

[Bokem44]

@Hollow4ever i also love his motto live and learn.

[TheScrewball1982]

@Hollow4ever He's epic, his delivery of sharp jokes remains incredible.....He has quite a few jokes in the best 100 jokes ever written, as voted by fellow comedians, I think

[soocoolryan]

bahaha ohh emo, you have to be the most hilarious thing i've ever seen.

[albinolintel]

i liked his jokes, i just hate his voice

[SilverSkyscape]

what an amazing guy c:

[thechriswheelie]

Blows all other stand-ups away. Genius.

[Sadhbhishness]

What a legend, I love that guy!!

[Manateecutie]

"How many people are like me?"My dad and I could both raise our hands:^)

[lidoeg2]

EMO ROCKS! if only todays emos were like him the world would be a much happier place. No offense to emos

[Foxtersbud]

@lidoeg2 none taken

[modaddyicedawggyT]

@lidoeg2 What do you mean "no offense"? Fuck emos.

[cliffy93]

@lidoeg2 hes not emo. dipshit. his name IS emo phillips. thats his birth name. look it up.

[NitroTheRhino]

@cliffy93 Actually, it's Philip Soltanec; Emo Philips is his stage name. ;)

[SuperAwesomeFunny]

@lidoeg2

well basicaly emos got their origin from this

in one of the talkshows ive seen he even says "these people say they are me, they dont like me"

oh yea and the cutting themselves originated from the scene in a weird al movie where emo accidentaly cuts his fingers off

[SuperAwesomeFunny]

@lidoeg2

basically emos got their name from him

he even talks about it "these people say they are me, they dont look like me"

and the cutting themselves came from a wierd al movie

watch?v=toNsPh-pxgc

[mrlinusthegreat]

@SuperAwesomeFunny - "Just call me Mister Buterfingers"... UHF is one of the greatest movies of all time!

[brennnnan]

laughter was so much better in 1983.

[PoopyPantyPoop]

Tbat eggs joke was GREAT

lmao Lmao

[rabcnesbitt123]

i dont get that joke can u explain

[openmindedproduction]

woman produce eggs (or ovum) and you don't normally cook and consume them you see...which makes that joke disgustingly hilarious

[rabcnesbitt123]

yeah i thought thats wot he meant but i didnt think that he would have said that thats a bit too disgusting especially in the 80s funny tho

[DegenerateSmoker]

emo you are such a lasy fucker........

this vid is from 83......

and you are still using the same material..

bum...

[PetaChips]

Awesome

[donpoppito]

This guy was Emo before Emo was invented. First time ever hearing about him.

THANKS REDDIT!!!!!

[soadrulz0020]

If you're talking about that quote on Banksy's website, that's how I found out about him too!!

[donpoppito]

Bansky as in the artist?

Nah heard of Emo from Reddit. Im curious what you mean now.

[MusicMonstrosity]

This guy is hilarious!

[theweimgirl]

After watching this I have to wonder if Heath Ledger didn't get inspiration for some of the Joker mannerisms from this guy.

[MasonWorkz]

5'd just like the first part =D

[lilanthia]

He. Should. Never. Do. Those. Moaning. Noises. Again. Ever.

[existenceisrelative]

You know you liked it.

That tingling you feel is normal.

[kornfreak9876]

thats a god damn sensitive crowd

[inkorgr]

....and i was crying my eyes out because i couldn't get them to skip.

[Erodyne]

this guy is hilarious

[redspice55]

I saw Emo live 2 years ago, (got pictures with him even), he was so funny I almost died laughing. But, here I am - alive and well.

The plastic surgery joke I never heard before but it was priceless. No, really. Would you like to hear my tribute to Emo? Thanks, Emo!

[BEastmix]

The funniest part of this video is the one person who has the distinctive laugh in the audience. You can hear them best at 0:29. Also in the first part when he kicks off his shoe.

[brookmcg]

he said he hoped they skipped, because then they would be like skipping stones and skim across the surface.

[iamskillxD]

could someone please explain the kittens one to me? id very much like to get it

[ArtfulDawdger]

He kindof rushed through that one, but he said that they took the kittens down to drown them, and he was crying his eyes out, alegedly because it is a traumatic experience for a child to see drowning kittens, but he turns it around by adding that he was crying not as a result of the death of kittens, but rather his in-ability to use the surface tension of the water to propel the kittens.

Yeah, it's less funny when it's explained.

[iamskillxD]

ohhhh right. skip, like skipping stones skip. thanks

[flavoredwallpaper]

3:45 - oh lordy!

[aliensexgangchildren]

i love this guy....anyone ever seen the movie UHF with him and weird al yankovic?

[ArtfulDawdger]

I love the part where some guy is wearing the huge cowboy hat and his boss is like 'take that ridiculous thing off' and he peels his mustache off!

[MikeFlash32]

2:43 is the best emo joke ever!

[morepiepleaseTV]

You know, i dont think i fully understand it. I think maybe, there isn't a like punchline to that, which makes it funny, like: What do you call a duck with 3 brains? Bananas Peels, see that's kinda funny because it doesnt make sense.

OR

That urine is hot and spicy? Irony? haha

[FireofSekhmet]

"...And I was crying my eyes out because I couldn't get them to skip..."

Not only is that horrible, but that's horrible! =P

[Samulise]

"And I said why stop there"

"Should I give a tribute to Elvis?"

:D Brilliant

[Namnilod]

Why did they boo when he said the egg thing?

[yourfaceandmum]

Ovaries.

[morepiepleaseTV]

I GET THE RIDDLE NOW!!!

[jaybals]

its because the riddle is an old and faous riddle where the answer is human/man like he says, but he has his own answer (a donkey)

i think its called a carrot and stick joke, he always uses them, because he leads people to think he is going to say one joke or answer, but then says something completely different

[jaybals]

shit, i was thinking of the wrong one, he just tells you literally what the difference between the two is, thats it, not really a riddle! thats the point

[HamSandwich09]

Oh my God. He's a comedic genius.

[morepiepleaseTV]

Please dont thumbs me down, but i didnt understand that one. :(

[yourfaceandmum]

you really are paranoid about that, aren't you? people won't thumb you down for asking a question as long as you say something nice.

[badbadthepirate]

Excellent!

[Eskidead]

The king of bizarre and morbid homour!

[openeyes123]

i think he's past the legal limit o.O

btw

is his real name emo?

[Hendrixism]

This man is amazing. Notice how funny he is without ever saying one bad word. I have nothing against bad words, but when a comic can make you fall off your chair without using them, it shows way more talent. Fucking amazing. =)

[ZannyRamone]

I definitely agree. He has crazy amazing talent.

[SolidMike84]

Fucking awesome XD