Funny Quotes

[TheFunPop]

i find most of them funny :P lol

[TheR7M]

Fat kids are harder to kidnap!

-hahahahhahahahahhahahahha

[perperfect1]

sorrry i dint have a mind to coment i sold it on ebay

[nintendude24]

bad quotes bad music.

[xyzllii]

Crap quotes have so many hits...aaargh...!

[AgeAwkward]

TACTICAL MUTE INCOMING!

[24wildmonkey25]

ok guys freaking chill only like 5 of these quotes were sexist and if you didnt notice the beginning says MY FAV QUOTES not urs so if you dont like them...doesnt matter

[mrlegojav98]

these quotes are sexist, why can women criticize men & men cant critizise women, women need us to do stuff forthem

[DeadlikeaPixel]

@mrlegojav98 What? Everytime I see a sexist comment towards women, No one says anything, Then, When I see a a sexist comment towards men, Everyone freaks out.

[mrlegojav98]

@DeadlikeaPixel i always defend women when i see a sexist comment because im educated, i dont know bout those hobos otside but I DO RESPECT WOMEN

[jordylasseter]

... ok ...

[monoroma1]

my favourite "welcome to loserville, population: You" lol

[Bucketboi98125]

cool story bro what chapter do u stfu in.. thats my quote

[wwesuperfan16]

my quote is if i wanted to listen to a asshole id just fart

[2knowyourrole]

life should have a delete button.

[wolfy2100]

life has a delete button its called death

[5maddyy]

awsm dude....

[hairguy189]

Wow lol, made my day. Great music and great quotes.



[BiohazardBounces]

Mine is "Eat cake or do something else that rymes with cake".

[BitchKenny]

Mine is "take me to the waffle hut"the cake is a lie" and about 16 more i dont wanna post and nobody likes a sexist girl unless their hot

[shind32]

0:37 is the other way around, its girls not boys. I seen it in 2005.

[loalfunny46]

nice..god made me pretty wat happpend to u :)P

[likeaboss241]

love the the fat joke



[JADEGOODYSCORPSE]

I used to be indecisive, but now , im not so sure .

[SargentBallsack]

I am a killing machine! Asking me not to kill is like asking a fart not to smell!

[perperfect123]

heeee thtz funie

[TheAstonben]

these are sexist and from facebook

[coolsukm33]

@TheAstonben I actually made this before facebook existed soooooo, yeah....awkward

[jcam1324]

@coolsukm33 all of the quotes are everywhere! facebook ipod screensavers, wllpaper, etc... so it doesn't matter it is for entertainment anyway!!!!!!

[lolmasterman123]

@coolsukm33 still sexist, woman

[rdrgdz4]

half of these are laaaaame ass feminist jokes

[MrMoistWaffle]

hahahaha "fat kids are harder to kidnap"

[pancake542]

I got a funny quote "I didn't fall the floor wanted a hug" :P

[earlobemaster]

@pancake542 lol yea and your mom didnt want a baby,she wanted another disapointment

[earlobemaster]

@pancake542 JK,lol yours is better than mine....i PROMISE

[pancake542]

@earlobemaster :o Today like in school my friend said "Hey Jasmine I got a weird quote." So I was like ok let me hear it he's like "God made mud, God mad dirt, God made boys and girls for they can flirt." I cracked up so hard.... ! xDD

[jgrt7]

I accidentally swallowed some food coloring yesterday. The doctor say im OK. But it feels like I dyed a little inside

[PotatoWhisperer]

lol 0:27 is my backround

[eve1624]

you made me happy!!!

[CazzCazzz13]

God made Cola,

God made Pepsi,

God made me, Oh So Sexy.

God made rivers,

God made lakes,

God made you... Well, We all make mistakes:)..

[PotatoWhisperer]

@CazzCazzz13 lol thats epic

[NenisPinkyGurl]

i love all of them they all make me :D

[hugamumfterwoof]

here is my quote:

trying id the first step towards failure

[gn8ster4life]

0:44 :D



[ONLYUSEmeTACNIFE]

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, God made me Pretty, What happened to you?

[TheMANGO107]

fat kids are harder to kidnap.

ahahahhaha!

[supermodelist]

Q&A--aside from your face, what is your problem?....lol

[supermodelist]

Q&A---if you were goin to die tomorow? why not now?...jhaja

[supermodelist]

roses are red, violets are blue, whenever i flush the toilet i remember you..lol

[Dholbajale]

0:41 the best

[evilmonkey5020]

i wish jesus had a rap battle with the devil. its not a quote but someone will agree with me

[spidermanfcr]

these are all quotes that are only appropriate if woman use them... now wonder they aren't funn!y!

[musiclover21097]

one of my favorite is

Life's not a garden, don't be a hoe!

[PUREshame97]

bahahaha i want moree!!!!

[candy5queen]

omfg! i luved dis

[SnemeisProductions]

Gay music

[Layiloe]

these quotes look like they've been picked out by a little girl...

[tenk4444]

last one epic

[jesse083195]

xD lmfao those were funny but i just hate how sex quotes were all how girls look at guys like their useless when a world full of girls only would fall apart (and same with a guy only world) and before u say anything how many females can fix a car, build a house or even would think about being a plumber.

[luggystykz]

OMGROFL

[adsa1997]

you misspelled underwear

[tiffany2099609]

omg i love this :D

[MrBrandok]

you sexist bitch this was awful... unless your hot then it was amazing... (expect a blowjob later)

[MrTeamExtreme1234]

0:34 Hurtful! Owww! Why'd you push me!!

[MrTeamExtreme1234]

@0:11 is the funniest one!

[bookercreator]

Christians DON'T think they're better than everyone! BUT we DO know our way is the only right way.

Would you agree this is the stupidest of all?

[Rhynorune]

I am the greatest that humanity has to offer, and the lowest.

lol

[xhaiihannahbunnix]

lol those are good quotes, made me laugh several times, thanks for sharing :D

[samysasy419]

Absolute power, corrups absolutely. So where does that leave God?

[samysasy419]

Reading a book has knowledge, knowledge is power, power corrupts, corruption is a crime, crime never pays, so learning will get you broke and in jail.

[samysasy419]

The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on the list.

[g8trnation]

i hate how this is completley girl oreiented

[SuperInfamous101]

i have a few funny sayings of my own for instance

why is bad luck so bad why can't it just be violently good

meet dr. duct tape he's here to help me control my anger

how do we know our pets love us they could be plotting our doom

it's quiet! too quiet! quick grab my ball bat it's the apocolypse

[SuperInfamous101]

a good friend will bail you outa jail a best friend will be sitting next to you saying that was freakin awesome

[scariscarime]

i love thiiiis <33

[SosOBadass]

i loved the chicken crossing the road one! xD

i KNEW that was eminem! i can always recognize my slim shady!

[llalalalalaluna]

Life needs a delete button xD

[SmurfSalad]

I dont mean to toot my own horn but i have got some pretty funny jokes myself

Just come check out my channel

[StokieTwins97]

Heres a few

Roses are red

Violets are blue

god gave us five fingers

the middle ones for you

Give me your lunch money

I dont have any I have sandwiches

Well give me your sandwichs

I ATE THEM D;

[NEVERsayNOAH]

"Whenever I went to weddings, all the old people would poke me saying 'You're Next.' They stopped when I started doing it to them at funerals"

--As told by my messed up friend, Allie O.o

[251Goldie]

Without ME it's just Aweso...

[p0wntatoe]

2:15, I think you meant laziness. Not Lazyness.

[nalqa]

'Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you ?'

My favorite quote ;D

[habzgirl]

roses are dead, i am blue, you're a huge headache, and one day i'll kill you. ! :)

[teletubby4ever]

some of those were pretty sexist or whatever word im thinking of,bad quotes about guys,if u beleive in those, its time to stop being the hot girl dating a douche and date a nice guy who smiles and makes u laugh,not just the hotty

[feyibaybiee]

Haha diss is great

;East to the sea,west to the land, death to the idiot that touches my man.xx

[MizzNauty19]

haha i watched the love quotes nd the touched my heart and i clicked on the funny quotes and now my sides r aching... partially becausem half the stuff i believe in !

[lrugyaj]

omg...im so glad i watched the love quotes first because they made me sad then these made me glad

[ggbg222]

it was so funny .. it really makes me laugh so much .. 1:32 - cool :D :D and the life really needs delete button :D thanks ..

[laughingskulls23]

...gay as fuck, ur prolly an ugly as chick

[zigmas000]

that was cool! :D

[tiger13girl]

1:32 is awesome

[Bread23000]

0:24 - lemme guess, that 70's show?

[boddah1922]

It was ok until 1:00 into it, that little quote almost made me sexist. But than i realised i would be no better than the bitch that wrote it.

[DeathSnowTiger]

They were ok....

*silence*

[Morgz1010]

....beat the living crap out of someone

hahahahahahah

[kels122]

ive heard one like that only it was "it takes 46 muscles to frown but only 4 to flip em the bird!" =D

[ilovekoreanos]

hahaha :))

[casszzie]

a lot of these are facebook bumper stickers..

[wafflelord89]

lol idk good point

[wafflelord89]

sexist!!!!! men are not the cause..... sexist

[wafflelord89]

0:48 in to it^

[CyberLance26]

Yea if a man said the same thing about women everybody would get angry and say the person who said it was sexist.

Why should it be more ok for women to say insulting things about men?

[Creamcorn237]

i like the chicken one:D!

[eriksayshi]

i dont get it these quotes are not funny at all just dull

[jus10zappy]

hmmmmm i think.... this was made by a girl... anyway nice vid

[paddywhack262]

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming in terror, like the passengers in his car. ---now thats a funny quote! not like the ones in this clip!!

[imcorrect]

These quotes are pathetic you hopeless retard.

[antmfan4life]

:32 haha i do it all the time!

[MlsaXxX]

hahahahahahaha

lmao

i love it!!!

xD

[Warrior536]

Lol at the last one XD

[lilc31495]

ha the one at :28 is so true 4 me

[LuCaRiOfan94]

lol

[kickflip277]

the best quote ever is "you can talk about guys right in front of them.. They aren't listening anyway..."

[nicole1645]

lol! totally

[mushergirl]

ahahhaa i like that one!

[ImaDaddysGirl96]

omg i luv dis, nd 1:09 lmao!!!

[haleyhay2]

loved it!

[LucasHotty911]

u kant spell w3rTHZ A dyKKCS ShyT!!!!

[ekidz220]

you need to learn how to spell. Miss

[AphroditeTheMortal]

My friend randomly said 0:35 in math nd we all burst out laughing

[521182]

A friend will bail you out of jail.

A best friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Dude,that was AWSOME!"

My favorite quote!

[Bleachandnarutolover]

I especially loved the last one! Those are all really good quotes!

[iwentpotty]

this is retarded.

[mrgymnastics]

here here

[siouxfan01]

y'all must not have a sense of humor

[sugamama0]

haha lol omg that was so funny!!! 0:40 is fricken funny! it reminded me of my sister nd my friend.. we r crazy like that lol

[CecillyRose]

I really loved it! I'm going to use some of them in a video of my favs, if that's cool with you! I'm seriously crying from laughing so hard!

[speacles]

1:46 is really funny

[blondebabyxox]

haha i feel so stupid because i AM the girl who bursts out laughing in dead silence because of something that happened yesterday xD

[jonasbrothersfan1928]

ur right with the peroid one ha also i have a qoute boys r like purses cute full of crap and could be replaced lol i love that one

[ceramic137]

good shit, u hav 2 b a girl... nice

[craz1foolman]

im guessing your a girl, but that was pretty funny.

[TaylorChloe821]

that was funny!

[DogLover062295]

That was HELLA funny and i loved the song<3

"a good friend will bail you out of jail, a bestfriend will be sittin next 2 u sayin, 'dude that was freakin awesome!'"

[ToushiroLuvsSasuke]

LOL XD

[mkdnat]

i dont get the one on 57sec. it says "always go to other peoples funerals or else they wont come to yours" but then wont they be dead?? if we go on their funeral itll be boring and like no1 would remember cuz whoever died is dead rite???

[whoagrrl]

thats the point...no one would be stupid enuff to actually GO to a dead persons funeral, cuz the point is if they're dead, the cant come to ures!

[mkdnat]

oooh well thnx and great job

[CecillyRose]

You made my day with your comment! It takes all sorts to make a world... that's for sure... ;)

[AnnaKay10]

haha! this was hilarious! i was drinking soda while watching this and i was spewing it all over the place! i was laughing the whole time!

[GoInsaneWhenPigsFly]

"when life gives you lemons, throw them at people and RUN!"

[WanderFilms]

I'm bored. Lets go play in traffic.

[Ahorgh]

im guessing your not a man? :P

[jbug321]

ive got one. im not racist, i have color tv

[kingmagic88]

NEVER! pick a fight with sombody ugly...

They've got nothing to lose

[alexd1113]

When life gives you scurvy make lemonade.

[1StrangeDisease]

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

[whatdoyawantfromme]

i love it so funny

[Nashwa132]

man...u rock!!!!!!!

[Hoboinaboxdestroyer]

Im Sorry,

But They Were Funny To Begin With,

But LESS That Center Around The Reader Being A Girl!!

[ju326]

"I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally" or "You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them." i made those up

[greengoof]

"Save a tree. Wipe your butt on an owl!"

[warboy44]

Still laughing

[chrisbaronne]

l0l

[Hellerpopstar16]

hahahaa... those are funny

[music234chick]

ha ha these are funny :D

[OHxEMxGiE]

i got 1!! :D

when life gives u lemons..... U PAINT THAT SH/T GOLD!!!

lol :]

[Thedarksideoflove]

how bout this i made it up....when life gives you lemons, dont make lemonade. fuck hard labor and break out the minute maid! lol XD

[nickluvsmegs11]

these are funny...

[ju326]

heres a good one "love is like heaven but hurts like hell" now shut the fuck up!

[morinvillgal]

i have one! my friends are the type of people that will spend hours trying to drownd a fish

[donjuandj]

haha that chicken one had me on the floor literally laughing

rotl

[kanchi13]

never try = never fail

lol

[iluvtoski]

when life gives you lemons keep the recipt.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

dont take life seriously, no one gets out alive.

side effects include abdominal migration, tracheal meerkat colonies and a rare but irreversible side effect known as "carcassing"

[starz1456000]

@iluvtoski nice u should make ur own vid with them

[VanzFan26]

heres one!

Lets bring it down

like a fat kid on a seasaw

[shooters08]

this sucked. it was terrible. nothing was a little funnt

[alexd1113]

Here's another one. "When life gives you scurvy make lemonade."

[diva2898]

LMAO. I love this vid!

[payjaymay1121]

hehe i love this