Terrible Sequel Headaches (part 11/32)

[Presidentjh]

Mike's life summed up in two words: "I missed."

[AlkalineBatterien]

Maybe if Mike decided to pick up a gun that doesn't point in his direction, he might have a relative chance of at least getting closer to hitting the targets...

[TrynaBeeFunny]

He's so bad at the ring toss, he couldn't even get his dick in during sex, even when she/he helps.

[TrynaBeeFunny]

Out of all the fucking people in the world, they get Mike Dawson to help them? I don't know who's dumber. Honestly, the gamer isn't the one making him stupid, he does it himself.

[UltimaShadow7]

Okay, is it just me or does that whole "three points" spiel that Dark World chick was giving sound A LOT like the Triforce?

[megaman12321]

lol at the tags. Mike Dawson thinks keeper of scrolls ishot seriously nota joke

[Horses4ever8]

Out of everyone on the planet....they choose Mike Dawson....a sissy little pubesent baby

[grottypissedstained]

Loved the Megaman jokes.

[SQUIZZLER24]

I have this awesome image in my mind that Mike is actually nuts, and instead of going into 'The Dark World',he's just stood there in the hall of mirrors continually walking into one and bouncing off it, over and over whilst drooling and talking absolute shit.

[FrigidDeath]

YOU WANT ME TO LOSE MY JOB?!

[MrIgotabadfeeling]

Jesus this game needs Detective Butters

[MeatWisdom]

"Hi mom!"

"I got the test results back.  I DEFINITELY have breast cancer."

[dudemanzero]

@MeatWisdom a The Room joke AND a Navgtr joke! I like it!

[DyeTalian]

The fair was in town last week. My girlfriend specifically wanted to do the ring toss event where you had to throw a five pound (Guessing here) ring at a fairly thin pole sticking out in the middle of the ring toss area.

You bet your ass I thought about Mike Dawson and nailed that fucking ring toss.

[KaminaDies]

Who else is looking forward to Gyakuten Dawson Vs. Professor Ring Toss for the 3DS?

[MorrisseyBob]

Navigatr, did you kill Rita?

[lisledre]

Mike Dawson is more shameful than that time on Family Guy when a the T100 tried to teach us Japanese in a 10 minute video then ate 40 pizza rolls and asked people to program him doing it in MUGEN.

[Crezth]

You know, infuriatingly, this game makes the first Darkseed look brilliant. I mean it. Like, a piece of goddamn art.

[mazoboom]

Did it really take this long to actually use the first item in the game?

[thatguy1145]

Let's think back on everything Mike's done. He's been a complete moron, managed to piss off everyone he's met so far, called the sheriff investigating him for murder an impotent asshole, is an absolute dipshit, blackmailed several people, couldn't successfully blackmail any of those people, accused several people of murder to their faces, and is so stupid I'm surprised he can breathe. Am I missing anything? Fuck, how do we know that the "hero" wasn't the one murdered Rita?

[TheTrueHaddock]

No you can't pause now! Shit is actually starting to happen!

[PickpocketSan]

>My live is a living hell.

"Mike, I can't stand talking to you anymore, you're just too depressing!"

>Can I ask you some questions about Rita?

"We weren't intimate, if that's what you're getting at!"

>I just stopped my(?) to tell you that I love you.

"Jesus, Mike! You're such a goddamn pansy! Get out of my house this instant; you're too embarassing to even look at!"

[randomtissue]

mirror 21 did you kill rita?

[Shapecharge08]

IRL Mike Dawson, did you kill Rita?

[Mr70084]

Keep doing this lp series!

[Alezicarus]

You know you have a boring game where 2 parts of a video walkthrough have the same image

[M30W3R]

Mike Dawson is a single lady

[HHKelevra]

Mike Dawson confirmed as the Protagonist in L.A. Noire 2

[TheQgvFactor]

I think it would be interesting to have Mike Dawson be the protagonist of the next Grand Theft Auto game.

[KKoserYaks]

I think Dan McNeely killed Rita.

[TheInvalidman]

In a shocking and game-changing plot twist, it is revealed that Ridley is behind the fixed carnival scheme, and challenges Mike Dawson to a game of ring toss. But Mike Dawson flashes back to a time when he was a boy, and how he lost his parents to a game of Spin the Wheel. He returns to reality but is shaken and frozen in the spot, unable to throw the ring.

Mike Dawson eventually throws the ring. He misses again. He asks Ridley why he runs the carnival to which he replies, "Eh, it's a livin'!"

[fuzzykitty441]

@TheInvalidman I can't give this too many thumbs up.

[ADBHLS]

Part 9 and Part 11 both have the same video icon...

[TonyBranston]

When I first saw the repeat video, I thought the rings might have been a minigame.

It's kinda nice to know it is not, in fact, the player who sucks.

[sagacious03]

Whenever your life seems bad, remember: At least you're not Mike Dawson.

[ThatKidWithTheVideos]

Mother who cooks water all day did you kill Rita?

[Tordah26]

Everything will be EXPLAINED soon enough.

SPOILERSPOILERSSPOILERSPOILERS­SPOILERSPOILERSSPOILERSPOILERS­SPOILERSPOILERSSPOILERSPOILERS­SPOILERSPOILERSSPOILERSPOILERS­SPOILERSPOILERSSPOILERSPOILERS­SPOILERSPOILERSSPOILERSPOILERS­.

[hitjohnyup]

I don't know how many of you watch Death Battle, but I think a Mike Dawson vs. Lester the Unlikely video is in order.

[Magitek1112]

@hitjohnyup This. A million times this.

[DMAN123223]

@hitjohnyup "Lester, did you kill Rita?"

Lester just runs away.

[3Gads]

Who's the bastard who put the fate of the world in Mike Dawson's hands?

[Noisemaze]

@3Gads Mike Dawson.

[Zknight7126]

I think this Long Play is rigged.

[b74k3]

reading the comments, I noticed a reference to one of the most idiotic sounding game reviewers, Navgtr. I wish retsupurae would do another one of his videos, but it's okay if they don't

[starkey1356]

Its worrying that gamespot.com gave this game a 6.8/10

[Shapecharge08]

Found some fun (not really) facts about Dark Seed 2 on IMDb:

-AFAIK, most of the voice acting is done by other people (Also, Sheriff Butler and Paul Cooper is voiced by the same guy).

-The actor who plays Mike Dawson was also a part of the 3D animation team.

-The actor who plays Sheriff Butler is also the director.

-The actor who plays Slim is also the line producer.

[bust2007]

We're 12!!!! I need to find out what happens to Rita!!

[SamuraiFoochs]

I love the dramatic "talking to Mom" music.

[steveharley0345]

I love the intense music that plays when he begins to talk to his mom.

[CrashBandicoot4Ever9]

It's funny because my worst enemy is more pathetic than Mike Dawson. He's also my only enemy. I just wake up and remember that he is more pathetic than Mike Dawson and I'm reassured by the fact that Mike could kick his ass.

[World1Level2]

Chuck Norris is so amazing, HE CAN WIN AT RING TOSS

[TrollFcae]

@World1Level2 Anyone can win at ring toss. Except for Mike.

[Hamsteere]

I'm a rotting corpse.

I have a better social life than Mike Dawson.

[nottobeseenguitarist]

ring toss, did you kill rita?

[pockypurse]

I wonder if Mike ever tried to kill himself but was just so terrible at firing a gun he kept yelling "I can't believe I keep missing!", and then eventually tried to throw the gun into a trash can but missed horribly, and finally grumbled, "I think this game is rigged."

[ajardoor]

Mike Dawson got through Act 1

Ring tosses collected: 25

[Republican1235]

I swear, the comments on retsupurae videos are almost as good as the video itself.

[Judgementxxx]

I've seen the ending. I really can't wait to hear there reaction to it.

It's very strange.

[Noisemaze]

Mike Dawson- All the fun of Chris-chan but without the guilt over laughing at someone with a mental disorder.

[Magitek1112]

Mike keeps failing at the ring toss because the ring is weighted down somehow.

..Wait, oops, I just spoiled the joke. ..I'm a bad person.

[EvanCWaters]

I honestly thought one of them was making the "pew pew pew" sound effects.

[chaffXgrenade]

This murder investigation is going nowhere.

Maybe Mike should take up his grievances with City Hall.

[NobleKeyblade72]

@chaffXgrenade What City Hall?

[chaffXgrenade]

@NobleKeyblade72 Well, I kinda figured the Morgue/Court/Police Department was City Hall... or something close to it. :P

[MattHubris]

@NobleKeyblade72 Dead to Rights LP reference, watch it.

[EdmacZ]

Mike Dawson has such a hard time with Rings he can't even collect a single ring in Sonic games. He also developed a deep loathing for the Planet Saturn.

[Baycunn]

I can't wait for the retsufrash!!!!!!!!

[Ridleykiller146]

@Baycunn It's already up. Go to Their Blip.tv account.

[DestroyedArkana]

The only Robot Master Mike Dawson got stuck on was Ring Man.

[KingdomHeart723]

@DestroyedArkana Actually Ring Man was the only Robot Master that Mike could actually beat.

[GiantPugTV]

I like how the thumbnails to 11 and 9 look exactly the same. 

[EternalGuardian07]

@GiantPugTV I was JUST about to say that. I thought "Did they post the same video twice?" God, this game is a Mobius strip.

[ShadowSam13]

Hey boiling water, what's your relationship with Rita?

[OniLinkPlus]

I have autism and even I'M not as bad as Mike Dawson.

[GTAfan421]

@OniLinkPlus I dont think *anyone* is.

[GTAfan421]

Hey clothes, what was your relationship with Rita?

[gaminggoddess85]

I still think the Dark World section will be the low point (as if it could get any lower) of this longplay. After all, now there'll be TWO places to backtrack through and more NPCs for the player to make repeat themselves...

[BD1899]

Its strange how at the beginning of this longplay how Slowbeef/Diabetus started out making fun of Mike Dawson and have slowly developed loathing and hatred towards him. I'm guessing that's the same process that all of his neighbors went through already.

[bust2007]

Light, what was your relationship with Rita?..

[RRioGio]

I cannot believe I just watched all 11 parts.

Like, I was struggling not to fall asleep because the game was so boring.

[Nionivek]

What was that Mike Dawson? A Wheel you can play UNLIMITEDLY for free with only 10 numbers of which only 9 you can chose is rigged so you lose often so they don't have to pay everyone teddybears? I am shocked!

[Kodsification]

Hey there keeper of the light I have diabetes! Is there anything I should know before entering the dark world?

[a1b2m13]

Poorly rendered bathroom, did you murder Rita?

[papalone55]

haha You boys are at WORK. this is work.

[SMRPGFAN101]

I'm autistic and will always suffer from social problems. At the very least I can say that I am above Mike Dawson in terms of development although I am a university student.

[Macmon33]

Thanks for working hard to do this retsupurae. I have not laughed so hard in my life

[Paikerchu13]

Guys, the retsufrash thing has already been uploaded to their Blip TV.

[TheRetroman]

I heard Mike Dawson is a playable character for the new Carnival Games Wii title.

[Meloncarty]

Oh hey! I was wondering what happened to the Dark World.

[Rammstein275]

Please I've been craving part 3 for so long now :D

[xTraceDesignsx]

So, this like the 3rd video with the ring toss as the thumbnail? lol

[Nintendoga]

Woah Woah Woah!

A new Retsufrash-kinda thing TODAY?

Jesus Christ, 32 parts of this and you guys still find the time to give us some new filler in between?

I love you two so much right now.

[posthumanfetus]

Every video retsupurae uploads should have the ring toss scene as the thumbnail

[pullahoko]

Mike Dawson and Rita would have never married, anyway.

It's not because he's afraid of commitment, he'll just never be able to get the ring on the girl's finger.

[Brainstrain]

In the dark world, Mike Dawson can move EVERY anvil

[razor8191]

The dark world should just be reality, in it Mike Dawson has been dead and buried for decades now.

[krazykillerhippo]

darkseed prime2. ring echos

[AbsoluteNugget]

I can only hope the retsufrash they talked about in the description is Meet N' Fuck Kingdom.

[TheBrandonRegan]

@AbsoluteNugget Go on their blip you can watch their next retsufrash

[GenjiFirefly]

Pew, pew, PEW!

[toocoolsasuke77]

I swear to god, the sound effect used when the dark void opens and closes is the same as in Hey Arnold, when Arnold and Gerald do their thumb handshake.

[Chiller326]

4:24 "Limber up the ol' bitchin' arm, dickweed"

[TheToast7]

I've never wanted so bad to get out of the normal world and get into the nightmare world.

[CCRockit]

Michael, atlast you've come to save us- ....oh, Michael Dawson....we were kind of expecting Mike Tyson...

[teeterharris]

The carnival music should just follow Mike Dawson wherever he goes and should start over again whenever he says something stupid. "These chocolate muffins don't taste very good. Why did Mom leave them in the bathroom?" *circus music starts over*

[ChaladanX]

Oh god, finally! The Dark World!

[DanimalCollective]

I'm fairly certain that this whole game is a visual representation of the autism spectrum.

[Ygdrasel]

@DanimalCollective

I'm fairly certain it's not. The spectrum of terrible game design, maybe.

[TonyBranston]

@DanimalCollective The laughing elephant seems to suggest paranoid personality disorder more than anything else.

[DanimalCollective]

@TonyBranston I'm sure the DSM was heavily consulted when programming this game.

[werebee]

"Michael, at last you have come to save...oh...Michael Dawson...we were kind of expecting a different Michael..."

[nickwarr182]

To think, they're only a third of the way through after all this time.

[NamoNakamura]

The ol' noodle limb

[OMFGSLAPPYWAG]

when's the next 5th?

[lobsopdoy]

Mike's mom just dropped a truth bomb on Mike.

[CyanFunk]

Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you missed pal.

[videogamenostalgia]

When the actor who played Mike Dawson dies, I'm going to send his family a bouquet of flowers with a card that simply reads:

'Ehhh you're missed, pal'

[CardsOfTheHeart]

And Mike's Mom was able to tell him what we were all thinking.

[MJ1284]

7:17 "Michael, at last you've come to save us"

Yeah, about that...

[HoneypieTheLover]

No, guys. Don't take a break from this game. The more you put it off, the more Mike Dawson fanart you'll have to deal with. And do you really want that? Seriously?

[CSB]

Navgtr: "We have a challenge to Cyberdreams."

"In Dark Seed II, create a storyline in which Mike Dawson develops adult autism. Imagine the drama of a vulnerable Mike Dawson still persisting in his Dark World adventures, despite his illness.

It may sound retarded, no pun intended, but we guarantee the gaming world would be shocked, stunned, and moved at the effort to make Mike's character more meaningful."

Cyberdreams: "Challenge accepted."

[sheepgull]

@CSB i literally started crying with laughter at "no pun intended"

[TheorySH]

@CSB Funniest thing I've read all week, but you know that; hell, your username is only three letters.

[ShadowSam13]

@CSB I love you

[Norrec87]

@CSB Excellent.

[shoplifting1is1fun]

@CSB

Bravo, but I thought he was already mildly autistic.

[NaturalSuperVillian]

@CSB Navgtr did you kill rita?

[85879]

@CSB i love you

[MorrisseyBob]

THAT BITCH Magda killed Rita.

[ZarroTsu]

Hey blood-soaked left hand; did you kill Rita?

[obacat]

The new Retsufrash is called "Arise Minus JPEGs -- Let's Start the Bidding at $2" currently processing at Blip!

[Shapecharge08]

@obacat "Sorry, this episode may have just been added to blip.tv and isn't quite ready to watch yet. please try again later."

[Fishmon14]

Hey Hall of Mirrors, did you kill Rita?

[luvtehcomix]

This longplay can cure depression. Any time I wake up in the morning and can't get out of bed cause I feel like shit, I can just think to myself, "You know what? At least I'm not Mike Dawson"

[Shapecharge08]

Ah, a new retsufrash you say?

Will it be "Meet 'n Fuck Dark Seed 2"?

[FoolyCoolyMabase]

this shows how much of a pityful character is Mike Dawson, "pathetic sack of shit" is the most offensive thing I've ever heard come out of Diabeetus's mouth

[abk0100]

@FoolyCoolyMabase Did you not watch the Nostalgia Critic thing?

[FoolyCoolyMabase]

@abk0100 I try to block that out of my memory

[boomerang342126]

Creepy alien lady, did YOU murder Rita?

[ahshorn]

I hope there's a dark world version of the ring toss that Mike Dawson can fail at.

[Hamsteere]

@ahshorn HEY YOU MISSED, PAL

*eats face*

[TheCanadianArchetype]

@ahshorn Since its dark world wouldn't it be in reverse? Instead Mike would be throwing something phallic at a floating ring... and missing...

[shockraid1]

@TheCanadianArchetype Hey Mike's penis, did you kill Rita?

[TheCanadianArchetype]

@shockraid1 Mikes penis, what was your relationship with Ri... oh right...

[Icerama108]

@ahshorn No it's the dark world version so he'd succeed.

[TheIr0nMike]

@Icerama108 You forget we're talking about Mike Dawson.

[Icerama108]

@TheIr0nMike Right . . . sorry 'bout that. :/

[Zaychavitch]

@ahshorn In the dark world, the carnie throws the ring at Dawson.

[BlueMageRaeg]

@ahshorn There is.

[GTAfan421]

@ahshorn with an even bigger phallic pole, and a much heavier ring.

[rickhh1]

The original Mike Dawson shows all that once you go Urkel, you can't go back to your regular lifestyle.  Maybe Urkel should have offered Dawson some ... cheese?

[LordBBH2ndSquad]

seeing that thumbnail again makes me oh so happy

[mrmorozov9]

The preview image for this and Part 9 are literally the exact same.

[rickhh1]

@mrmorozov9 Which is almost the same as the image for the "Pallet Cleanser". Just different angle for Dawson.

[thealexgher]

youtube did you murder rita?

[GrimHeaperThe]

@thealexgher Yes,I did.

[FoolyCoolyMabase]

@thealexgher Thealexgher, did you murder Rita? Or date her, while we're at it?

[thealexgher]

@FoolyCoolyMabase i once saw rita so i guess i did date her

[ConnorAndrewJones]

First!, I suck

[T00stoopid]

@ConnorAndrewJones Well apparently you do suck you failed at the one thing that could have redeemed you

[GrimHeaperThe]

@T00stoopid at least he isn't mike dawson.

[T00stoopid]

@GrimHeaperThe Maybe he is?

[ENM173]

So are we sure there's actually a dark world in this game, and it's not just Mike Dawson's pathetic life?