Politeness (Principle 1 in Series)

[iulyanstube]

Your hair is gorgeous, I love hair like that.

[BlakeMorris911]

Excellent Video. good points made! keep it up! life principles are lacking.. especially throughout America

[maxpower789z]

Melissa is HOT!

[SingingNightHawk]

Politeness..... this is a cultural thing I think. I travelled abroad (Asia) for 2 years and lived in Japan for 6 years -- where people are notably polite and respectful, and apologize before any complaint was ever uttered or thought. When I returned to the U.S. in 1994, I felt people were far more unhappy and would rather complain and condemn than extend appreciation. Unfortunately, I am getting more that way myself. Let's replace complaining with positive vibes & comments, I do my best!

[SingingNightHawk]

Politeness..... this is a cultural thing I think. I travelled abroad (Asia) for 2 years and lived in Japan for 6 years -- where people are notably polite and respectful, and apologize before any complaint was ever uttered or thought. When I returned to the U.S. in 1994, I felt people were far more unhappy and would rather complain and condemn than extend appreciation. Unfortunately, I am getting more that way myself. Let's replace complaining with positive vibes & comments, I'll do my best!

[Dancelight]

I agree with you, that there is some basic politeness that everyone should have. I am like that too. I never understand why people sometimes need to be so rude. I mean, you can have fun and sometimes let it go, but still being decently and kind to people. But sometimes people can feel sad for a reason and then not always be able to show a smile, even if they want or they want to try. We're human, not dolls. But I understand the main principle of respect under the politeness.

[MrDogbert2]

I appreciate these videos. Thank you for taking the time to make them.

[Kosh800]

As long as no one acts like my 3rd grade teacher when I said, "Can I please go to the bathroom?" to which he replied, "I don't know, can you??" I would then say something along the lines of, "Oh nevermind, while you were bothering me with the semantics of the English language I already pissed myself, thanks!" =P

[sagasky]

I know, in my case anyway, that "you're welcome"isn't said sometimes, because I or we aren't used to it, and it feels different.

[eric99zhao]

that might be idealism, it might not be possible for everyone,it depend on the situation, even a good person could become a crimimal

[larkspur]

I think this series is a really sweet idea! :)

Sage advice. How many times have I, instead of saying "you're welcome", acknowledge someone's thanks with "mmhmm" or "sure"? "You're welcome" would be just a little more genteel.

In fact, there are many other etiquette points that I would be interested in learning: how to gracefully accept a compliment or criticism and being a good hostess. Thanks for reminding me to look out for other people's feelings.

[kingsfan1022]

Melissa, you look too skinny. Start eating!!!

[silvermillionaire]

LMAO, she is just fine..

She is sooooo freaking funny if you watch her after smoking pot.

[bmw871011]

you are talking about suppressing one's feelings....this would result in people not expressing who they really are but rather ceding to an artificial ego that is so censored that one minor event could trigger an explosion of subdued negative emotion.

[germanicdmon]

i agree with you melissa. however, i do not believe one has to always be politically correct to be polite. what do you think?

[MelissaJenna]

I agree with you, however towing that line is difficult business and not suited for everyone. Dissenting while remaining appropriate and polite should be considered an art.

[germanicdmon]

wow you remind me of... me.... except more...female.

[Closeph93]

Hope this doesnt sound TOO lame (yeah right haha)...I remember reading in Ben Franklins autobiography his pursuit of his thirteen virtues...your message reminded me of that.

[MelissaJenna]

That's awesome-- I should probably read it!

[xtoturnwithinx]

Tackling politeness first on YouTube was a good idea, because we all know this place isnt exactly a bastion of it.

[MelissaJenna]

1) You're right.

2) I love the word "bastion."

3) I like a healthy challenge.

[xtoturnwithinx]

I love your videos and I think you're just a smoosh of adorable poured into a human-shaped container, and I think it's great what you're doing with this intended series of videos. Keep it up, MJ.

[Aft3rshock25]

Well aren't you just peachy. I question whether there is a person out there who is actually capable of disliking you.

[ROBBiE3MM]

*Raises hand*

[PrestiGeorge]

Manners are a very important aspect to a person. Saying Thank You and You're Welcome take one second and it can really make a difference on the person's day. This also goes for saying Hello, Good Morning, or Good Night to family members, coworkers, and/or anyone else. One may never know when they need a favor from a coworker, and who would that coworker rather help? Someone who never greets them, or someone who says Hello and creates the warm and friendly atmosphere.

[MaywitherDragon]

I was going to say something inappropriate and/or inflammatory, but I decided not to... thanks MelissaJenna!

[cmielak]

HI MJ. You must know that your vids are great way of learning english. Your clear pronunciation, using of grammar, vocabulary are really great for such a weak learner like myself. Of course the content is always VERY interesting. So I hope this series will be loooong (at least 20 parts ;) Regards from Poland. Eva

[ijavier78]

MJ, even if no one else does this. Your life is going to be better by focusing on improving yourself. I highly recommend the book "The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People". There are excellent life principles in that book. It also comes in audio book format.

[bijan84]

Love you and your message but am not sure about the hair style in this video.

[SanDiegoCharger]

well put MJ. i love the way you convey your thoughts and ideas. flows very nicely. take care!

[camperck828]

my favorite part was "Just because you're a grandma, doesn't mean your off the hook!" haha love it

[wingsofdivinity]

i agree tho. i always make an effort with casual politeness, like please and thank u. it seems those things have gone out the window nowadays. so every1, please be polite!

[wingsofdivinity]

wow, i love ur hair!

[juliandeathgod]

WTF is wrong with you?

[CommentorX]

Deathgod, do you want the full list, or just the Top 10?

[TheQueenofSnow]

Great video. Can't wait for the videos.

[MoEnzyme]

I'm not sure I get your issues about immodest dress. I guess it depends on the situation . . . I'd like my attorney to look like an attorney and not a stripper, for example. Work places matter that way, but otherwise I hardly consider the issue. You didn't seem to mention it any further either after the first time.

[CatchFlipsidE]

While it's the ideal situation, I think if you did some studying in Anthropology, you'll find out that it's never going to be completely possible.

[MoEnzyme]

Life Principles . . . I like that. I have a list too. In a nutshell on my virtues list I have Reason, Empathy, and Vision. On my sins list, Hypocrisy, Apathy, and Dogmatism. I think politeness and tolerance falls under the virtue of empathy. I look forward to the whole series. :)

[joey20070]

more people should be like you.

[protosswannabe]

I'm from Virginia and now live on the west coast, and I must say that I've been very pleasantly surprised by the warmth and politeness of the locals that is very similar to how people back home in the South greet strangers. Politeness is a virtue too often forgotten, especially on the Internet. People think that politeness means not "being real". I see it as just making an effort to behave decently towards others even when (sometimes especially when) you don't feel like it.

[GnikNusEht]

politeness, blah blah blah

i do like your hair style; it has however, confused me greatly on your natural color...

[Drav1212]

Did not Michael Jackson sing a song like that????

[Drav1212]

Hello MJ,

Have you ever thought of getting a hair cut like Mrs. Nancey Pelosi???

[elcedid]

Well, it would be much politer to not call your viewers "internet" at the bginning of all your videos.

[mattrmc19]

you supported Obama, which enabled him to get elected and drain America of trillions of dollars and cause millions and millions of people to remain jobless. Have you said you're sorry yet?

[ayyad13]

did you think ANY one person could sporadically make the economy even half way better?

[CommentorX]

Mattrmc19, you give Obama way too much credit. The trillion-dollar deficit and resulting job loss were just Bush's last year budget.

Truth to tell? Besides being black and appearing on David Letterman, Obama hasn't done much of anything. He couldn't even get the Olympics moved to his home city. Don't blame the sitting President for America's 30-year wasteful spending spree. We're only reaping what we've sown.

[mattrmc19]

So, you're saying that Bush spent $800 billion on a "stimulus" plan that never stimulated anything? Obama deserves blame and Melissa Jenna does too for voting for the clown. Notice how she never mentions him anymore. Strange.

[CommentorX]

Mattrmc19, MJ doesn't mention Mr. Obama because the election is over. Like it or not, he' going to be the President for the next 3-7 years. Deal with it.

If you're going to blame MJ for everything that Obama is going to do / not do over the next 7 years, please (being polite here), save us the hate. You'll reduce your chances of a stroke that way. Thank you.

[MelissaJenna]

Mattrmc19's last comment has been deleted, and he has been blocked for using inflammatory language.

I do block people, and I do mean it when I say that I will not tolerate hate speech. I apologize to anyone who may have been offended.

[MasterMeatMan]

Thank you! People here in Canada are actually less polite than the stereotype and I agree with you that it's important...

[starship333]

Thank you Melissa for your positive vids. : )

[missbananacheeks]

I work in retail management. And I witness on a daily basis how un-polite people can be, and how poorly people can treat others. So when I'm out and about- I am the exact opposite because I know what it's like for people in customer service. heck I even straighten their store when I shop, because I know how it feels to be on there end. and I always smile. a smile can change everything! :)

[CinderFNRella]

missb, Thats awesome... I used to be in retail management, and I know exactly what you mean. I pull stuff fwd on the shelves and straighten things up constantly. OLD habit, and I know how it feels.

[weskate93]

Yeh, and don't even get me started on busses.

I had to watch as my 16 year old friend with a broken ankle and crutches was made to stand to give her seat to an old woman who might have just been pushing 60.

[weskate93]

Oh and....

When it comes to politeness (as least where I live)

Adults can do anything they want but a teenager can be the perfect example of a kind teenager with perfect etiquette and whilst you will be standing still someone will bash into you in a shopping center, you then have to say sorry and they will yell at you for five minutes and call your school to complain about the behavior of its students.

[Dave256onYT]

Excellent advice! Looking forward to the series!

Have a great week :-)

[talktal]

It sounds like you want to change people by making themselves change.

[juliandeathgod]

Great advice, I agree. Politeless is essential for any civilized society

[weskate93]

You come across as the whitest, straightest, ready to judge people Christian on the planet in this video.

I really adore you and your videos but yeh...

This was aggravating.

This was a really ignorant comment to make I know... You just came across that was a little.

[nilnar]

I agree with this in general, good vid.

As a Brit, its interesting to think about the differences in what is the norm in different places. Saying "you're welcome" every time someone thanks you in Britain comes off as very corny and insincere.

[aliasdee]

So relevent to the way things are going, thank u MJ!

[Deathfinder69]

aww u look so cute i love your hair

[SpicyHam]

Ah yes, I always say "Can I have a Hot Wings Combo" when I order at KFC, I am so polite yay!

[Adipatus]

Principles.

[SpicyHam]

Elimate the bad, and then the good can flourish!

[lizzyfuturenurse]

You're my role model! its nice to know that im not the only one that feels like i can always improve somehow...thanks mj!

[MelissaJenna]

That's way too much compliment for me to handle. Thank you very much for your support-- I'm deeply flattered that you enjoy what I do. :)

[paul20072007]

Good concept, tho I fear you may be a voice in the wilderness here.

I agree on the principle of politeness, but I don't care for framing an order in the form of a question. After all if someone is telling me to do something I'd rather they did so than ask. To ask is to imply that I may refuse, which, I have learned from parents, employers and clients, is usually not an option!

You can give an order and still say please!

[MelissaJenna]

In most instances I would agree with you, however sometimes they're out of something, and they CAN say "no." Then I look like a jerk.

Me: "Give me an ahi salad, please."

Server: "Uhh....we're out of ahi...sorry."

I just hate putting people in a place that might make them feel uncomfortable. Also, even in the instance where a "no" response is not an option, just the guise of a choice makes the situation more pleasant.

[audadvnc]

MJ and everyone, you might be interested in a 1950's Japanese movie by Yasujiro Ozu, entitled "Ohayo". One of the themes of the movie was the hope to bring community feeling to a shattered post-war society. One of Ozu's points is that politeness helps to mend relationships.

Best wishes, all.

[angielooo]

We do need to raise the bar for ourselves... right on!