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From: hankgames
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  • I am in PAIN. I ordered An Abundence of Katherines and The Fault in Our Stars on amazon and they still haven't arrived yet. I want so badly to be able to call myself a legit fan. I smell my armpits in shame as I say I have not yet read any of your books. But I promise, as soon as they arrive I will read them with all due speed!

  • John - if someone was going to make an MP3 in order to embarrass you with out of context things you've said... I just don't think they'd need that audiobook to do it.

  • The Fault in Our Johns made me laugh for so long.

  • the MP3 must happen, if you have the john green audio green, then make the mp3

  • phil smith

  • omg. when he said p. smith am i immediately thought of the Psmith (pronounced smith) novels by P.G. Wodehouse!

  • p smiths first name is pzmith pronounced smith

  • Pudgy Smith!

  • ...Am I the only one who thinks John's falsetto sounds vaguely Mickey Mouse-ish?

  • Patricia Smith

  • "And they shall smell their armpits in shame!" Would be a pretty awesome shirt =D

  • "And then I took off my bra..."

    What, I can't help myself. You started it, John.

  • Rupert P. Smith

    (Geddit? Rupert Psmith, P. G. Wodehouse's classic 1920's Practical Socialist? Anyone...?)

  • @XYZ8901000 And I was just about to make that very same reference. I wonder if Comrade Smith is a relation...?

  • That's not a foul, that's just two men who like physical contact here or there. 

  • Rampage's theme song should be Minchin's "Taboo"

  • Apparently Swindon has a Homestar Runner character for a goalkeeper.

  • Did you bleep a curse word at 2:09? Really? It's a video game, there's no need.

  • Protector "Of the Goal" Smith

  • DO MORE GIVE-AND-GOS. (pluralization?)

  • Peepee Smith

  • Pirate Smith?

  • "Best of humiliating john mp3." That is definitely going to be a thing now that he mentioned it. Also, I almost spit out my water when John tried to do the 16 year old girl voice. Pretty much everything from 7:00-7:55 had me peeing my pants.

  • Petite Smith.

  • Patrick Smithfish.

    Get it? Like Patrick Starfish?

    ...I thought it was funny.

  • Pompeii Smith?

  • I made a 'The Fault in Our Johns' cover and posted it on my tumblr.

  • Get Perry Parry outta your line-up - he doesn't deserve to complain about being compared to Agent P

  • papa smith:P

  • Phat Smith.

  • Pudge Smith

  • John, your falsetto reminded me of towellee from south park. that is all.

  • John, please talk about your gallbladder problems. Specifically what it was like having it removed and what happened after. I'm having gallbladder problems and might need surgery. I'm really really scared and I could use some reassurance.

  • P-Smithy.

  • Patrick Smith, homage to the genious that is Steven Patrick Morrissey of The Smiths, "most important alternative rock band to emerge from the British independent music scene of the 1980s"

  • If doing an audio book is that hard i feel sorry for the legend that is Steven Fry who narrated all the Harry Potter books

  • "What? He's sexy and I can't help myself." - John Green

  • Phat Smith

  • Phat Smith?

  • What if someone set up Twitter accounts for all the Swoodilypoopers. How awesome would that be. Live tweeting from the pitch.

  • @ohliwiah someone did... example:@BaldJohnGreen

  • @marijnstockmann Okay life made.

  • His real name is Phil (thank you wikipedia and logic!). I prefer Pewter. Get it? Pewter Smith..eh? eh?

  • "He can't finish!" Thank you, John.

  • "What? He's sexy. I can't help myself."

    My day has been made.

  • That 'Best of: Humiliating John'-Audio-book NEEDS to be made. ("And then I took of my bra.."/"And he was so handsome and I liked him sooo much."/"What?! He's sexy. I can't help myself.")

  • The song for Ginger Rampage should just be that really deep Unreal Tournament Voice. RAMPAGE!

  • Just look at the Swoodilypoopers' jerseys - they have on them FourFourTwo meaning the layout of the squad should be 4-4-2.

  • Portly Smith!

  • 433 doesn't suit. It's personal preference, I currently play what could be called 514. I'd suggest trying out a 4312, so have a CAM, it makes it a lot easier to release strikers.

  • (cont)

    If you have Leeroy Williamson in central midfield, hold the LB button and play a short pass to BJG. Leeroy will attempt a one-two pass and overlap, looking for the through ball. This will be more effective than trying to run the field with him all the time. I think this could be a really effective play for the Swoodilypoopers. Who knows, maybe we'll have to change the song to: "Leeroy Williamson, scores fairly often" :P

    Keep faith in the 4-3-3. It's the dutch way!

  • If you're gonna play 4-3-3 you have to play Bald John Green as the central striker. His physicality will help him hold off opposition centre backs (and lessen the 'isolation' that you felt with Other John Green playing there). That way he can turn and feed through balls through to O.J.G. and Voluptuous.

    Another tip: play more patiently. Feed the ball out wide more often, play short passes and keep possession rather than dribbling all the time.

  • 9:41 exasperated "Ohhhh he's a TERRIBLE finisher!"

    That's what she said.

    Leroy needaviagra Williamson.

    I like the other formation better. This feels hollowed out where it matters most.

  • If he's narcissistic, then he's Pygmalion Smith... OR ever heard of the Pygmalion effect? Does P.Smith perform better when you up your expectations? I never hear you say "you're better than that, P. Smith," so maybe not.

    Pandora may be, despite being female, the best for P. Smith-mysterious to us. Poseidon's an earth shaking sea god/Prometheus fire,&Perseus killed lots of monsters. Phaethon's friends teased him. Those aren't our P. Smith. Generic=name him Pandion, honorable ancient Athens king.

  • Phineas Smith

  • P. Smith really needs to be named Pudge

  • Paladin Smith, pronounced like Aladdin(but with a "p" in front). John should sing "A Whole New World" if this name is chosen. I'm so sleepy, never mind my nonsensical gibberish.

  • Phat Smith

    

  • Comment removed

  • His first name should be Pewter.

  • This guy on my schools soccer team was talking about how he scores occasionally. I started to sing Leroy Williamson's song. Everyone was confused. I regret nothing.

  • Phat Smith

  • Polonious Smith?

  • 1 person is a Cardiff City fan..

  • We love ya! We love ya! We love ya! And where you go, we'll follow! We'll follow! We'll follow! Cuz we support the Poopers! The Poopers! The Poopers! And that's the way we like it! We like it! We like it! OH OH OOOOOOHHHHH!!!!

  • ... Dear Fat Lucas. I love you. I'm sorry that you couldn't do what you wanted, but at least you're still on the team. Our hearts go out for you. You are perfect in your own way.

    --

    Your biggest fan.

  • 4-3-2-1 or 4-1-2-1-2, John :D

  • The P is for Power. Power Smith.

  • to the one person who disliked this, how could you, you bastard.

  • 4-4-2 diamond is the way to go.

  • phat smith lol

  • You should have done a high-pitched girly voice for the audiobook. I would have undoubtedly bought it.

  • He may not have a soul

    But he sometimes makes a goal

    Ginger, Ginger, Ginger Rampage!

  • I'm pretty sure that Leeeeeroy scored more often *before* you started actively trying to get him goals.

  • Also John, I think in Advanced tactics settings, you can adjust the width of your players, so you can keep 4-3-3, but have everyone closer to the centre of the field for you storming central runs.

  • Hes got a Fiery mop

    And always comes out on top

    Ginger rampage! Ginger Rampage!

  • You should change the lineup a little bit. The 4-3-3 one is good, but for your style of play I recommend you position your strikers closer to each-other, so they will all be in the middle of the field.

    Try it.

  • Pit "Agent" Smith, of course!

  • It was Anthony Gerrard, Stevens cousin,

  • NOT FAT LUCAS NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

  • I liked watching 4-4-2 better

  • Phil Smith. Short for Philadelphia, as in the cheese spread.

  • phat smith.

  • New life goal: Mickey Mouse audio book of The Fault in Our Stars.

  • 4-3-3 does not fit with how you score almost all the time...which doesn't allow you to be awesome...so DFTBA

  • In goal today, Peas Myth !

  • Persephone Smith

  • 7:29 Self-fulfilling prophecy, John. Self-fulfilling prophecy of a near-rule 35 capacity.

  • @Xdohls An insane killer in goal? Going for the intimidation factor, I see :D

  • The game was more enjoyable to watch in that it resembled more of a real game of soccer, rather than just passing up the middle and running

  • I prefer 4-22

  • P. Smith's first name should be Psmith in homage to P. G. Wodehouse!

  • Pirate Smith

  • Perry Smith, as in the guy from In Cold Blood.

  • Pocahontas Smith.

    What about Austin up front? 

  • John, you should try a 4-2-3-1. It's good because your line of 3 are automated as attacking midfielders--a position in which you can play strikers (i.e. Bald John Green, Cteve Austin, etc.) in order to support OJ Green in centre-forward. Maybe trial it? YNSA (You'll Never Swoodlypoop Alone)

  • Folks, I was in school with him in years 7 through 9, and though he does everything he can to keep it from getting around, his name is Proinsias Smith.

    But don't say it to his face.

  • Patronus Smith

  • Percival Smith?

    Peregrine Smith?

    Philemon Smith?

    Phoebus Smith?

    Pinon Smith?

    Priam Smith?

    Prometheus Smith?

    Here, have some unusual names beginning with P

  • I don't know anything about 4-3-3 or 4-4-2, but this game wasn't as much fun to watch because it made me too nervous.

  • I feel like the fault in our johns is a problem no one really wants to have. It's time for a plumber...

  • I like the comment saying his name is Psmith!

  • Try to cross the ball more not just carry and through ball passing!!!

  • PATTI SMITH

  • P is not his first name. He is called Psmith.

  • Proctor Smith!

  • Thank you John, because of you I have started getting FIFA/football related advertisements where ever I go on the Internet.

    But I guess it's worth it to have to watch badly drawn football referee ads, just to hear you talk. Even in a weird falsetto voice.

  • Pale Smith

  • John, the 4-3-3 is spreading out your forwards too far. I'm not sure why but when making a run up the side the opposite forward is not getting into the play at all.

    I think the 4-3-3 is good for deep runs to the corners with high crosses for the header, but your style is more direct runs with small crosses on the ground. The 4-4-2 allows the Midfield press up more and support your play in front of the net instead of isolating strikers in the corners.

  • Patti Smith is your goalie?

  • Plack Smith!

  • did anyone else notice that his 16 year old girl voice sounds like mickey mouse

  • Don't worry, Tumblr will do all the embarrassing ;)

  • 4-4-2 John, it's used by tons of leagues because it works!

  • other john green is the unsung hero, i may grow a mustache to tempt him away from bald john green.

  • If Leroy Williamson scores in the game against Chelsea, I will eat my hat.

  • just two men enjoying physical contact

  • John, I just got back from Amsterdam which was a gift trip for my 21st from my girlfriend. When I was walking around the beautiful city I kept thinking to myself - I am following in the footsteps of John Green. (Then I went to Anne Frank's house and realised I was also walking on the same streets as the Nazis which made me a little upset).

  • No matter what his first name is, P. Smith's nickname should be either Skinny or Slender Smith.

  • 4-4-2 ftw

  • It lacked soul for me... The team looked fragile wide, the fullbacks need the go forward, and with the players we have - no chance to play 4-3-3 as it is supposed to be played. Also I noticed the defenders are playing better when Fat Lucas is not in goal, as they don't have the security of the big man on the back. And lastly, when we go to the Premier League, if you don't play Fat Lucas at least once, we shall hold you personally responsible!

  • Comment removed

  • don't play 4-3-3 the players need stamina for that... your players have no stamina

  • The highlight of the day for me was after the game in the press conference when Patrick Smith (the new Swoodilypoopers goalie) gave his thanks for the support he received form the team, the fans and most importantly his mentor and idle Fat Lucas. So thankful was Smith that he announced his plans to celebrate his first game, a shutout victory, by honouring his teammate and good friend (Lucas) with officially changing his name to Plump Smith.

  • I don't like the 4-3-3.

  • The Greens are glory hogs. They never pass to anyone else but each other. Time to substitute one of them out and give the other strikers a chance!

  • Defensively and offensively, your full backs aren't appropriate. You should play wing backs and use them as an outball when you need width (ie don't always pass it forward). This holds that you should play three centre backs.

    You need Three central midfielders, but not flat; play a 1-2 or 2-1, eg Lallana further forward than his midfield compatriots and closer to the forwards.

    Keep the Greens together in a 2 ahead of the midfield.

    Conclusion: play 3-4-1-2 with wing backs and a non-flat midfield.

  • I, for one, enjoy listening to you speak :) it is very relaxing, you have an amazing voice!

  • Prince Will Smith?

    Prince of Bel-Air Will Smith?

    Prince W Smith.

  • I was sat in the quiet section of my college library, and I jumped with celebration when other John Green scored...

  • Play 433, but bring in Bald john green and V.pericard into the centre more, or drop them back to play behind the main striker. So like a 4-3-2-1 formation.

  • Cardiffs Gerrard is the actual Gerrard's brother!

  • John who told you 4-3-3 was good? 4-3-3 pushes v.pericard and bald john green out wide so they can't run in support when other john green makes a break. This puts more pressure on other john green to finish and means he can't pass to bald john green for an easy finish (which is how you get most of your goals). IT SAYS FOUR FOUR TWO ON THE SWOODLIPOOPERS SHIRTS FOR A REASON

  • def poop-smith.

  • He's got no fame

    But has a badass name

    Ginger Rampage, Ginger Rampage

  • Please call the new keeper Mr. Smith! it's so badass!

  • Pizza Smith?

  • p. smith? pudge smith as an ironic name?

  • I want a shirt that says "And they smell their armpits in shame."

  • I want your audio book but I decided to use my limited funds to get a vidcon ticket. I think I made the right choice.

  • I think introducing a honey badger to the team would be very useful, because honey badgers are very fearless and badass. Just like the Swoodilypoopers.

    A honey badger would be a very valuable teammate.

  • Can we call Smith, Smittens. It reminds me of kittens.

  • @jittercake smittens is awsome, i second this motion

  • how about Mr.Smith? i think that sounds badass enough

  • I've got to agree with a lot of people here that 4-4-2 is probably a better choice, and that P. Smith's name should be Pudge.

  • WikiRiffs wrote a song for Rampage ;D

  • go back to 4-4-2. Suits your playstyle better.

  • John you need to put bald John Green in middle of the 3 forwards.

  • Poop Smith, please!

  • On the official facebook fanpage was a suggestion for Pudge, which is kinda of cool since it's keeping with the theme and it's a Looking for Alaska reference.

  • Hahaha The Fault In Our Johns is just perfect.

  • John why don't you try 4-3-1-2? With the usual back four and middle three, V. Pericard at CAM (centre attacking midfield) and Bald and Other John Green up front, but not isolated from each other, which I hate to see in this formation as no one should be forced to play apart from the one they love. DFTBA

  • 0:50 does it matter i mean what was fat lucas' first name

  • HE IS ALWAYS ON A ROLL

    HELPING LUCAS IN THE GOAL

    TRAPS OPPONENTS IN A CAGE

    WITH HIS PURE AND AWESOME RAGE

    GINGER RAMPAAAAAAGE, GINGER RAMPAAAAAGE

  • Let's be honest: the jerseys say FourFourTwo. You were meant to play four four two.

  • Pterodactyl Smith? I imagine it would be really difficult to get a goal on a Pterosaur, because...you know, wings.

  • Hey-ho! Hey-ho! Ginger's a Rampage and hes got a soul!

  • RAMPAGE!

    You can't upstage

    Rampage!

    More heat than light!

    Rampage!

    The great outrage!

    RAMPAGE!

  • John, will you PLEASE write a novella about the Swoodilypoopers for the PFA? I know its a bit too soon, but oh well. I thought I might as well ask. o Ao;

  • I think john is deluding himself into believe he is keeping fat lucus, and the john in because we would be so outraged if they werent.. But i think that he just plays favorites WAY too hard.:)

  • youu should talk about the mountain goats in the next game

  • Psmith!! The 'p' is silent, as in 'pshrimp'.

    It's from some books by P.G Wodehouse, who you might know as the author of the Jeeves and Wooster books.

  • SMELL THEM!!! lol

  • John You're right, the 4-3-3 isn't working out, that's why I suggest to you again to use the 4-1-2-1-2 formation which suits your up the middle style of play much better. Also you have your forwards sprinting constantly, you gotta give them some breaks

    Fat Lucas, forever my keeper!

  • From what I can see, there are three main comments: 1) John, you're entire team is too exhausted and your screwed if you don't rest them before final, 2) The 4-3-3 line up just doesn't work for lots of reason, including it's reliance on the midfielders you don't know the names of and it giving OJG too much to do, and 3) P. Smith, whose name should be Peewee Smith, Fat Lucas's illegitimate/long lost love child that found him and rose through the ranks to join the swoodilypoopers.

  • @EricB12345678 YES YES YES YES YES PSmith and Fat Lucas!! That is amazing.

  • If the swoodilypoopers make it to the premiere league could we get Gerrard? Imagine a 4-3-3 with Bald John Green, Other John Green, and then Stephen Gerrard.

  • @beangirl1389 Two points. First, I doubt the Swoodilypoopers would be able to afford Gerrard after one season in Europe. We'd need at least 3 seasons in Europe with a Semi-Final or Final finish in order to secure a budget big enough. Second, Gerrard mostly plays midfield, or attacking midfield so he would team with Williamson and Lallana, rather than the Greens.