Kermode Uncut: Transformers 3: Dark Of The Moon

[KapStuf]

I've just watched Mark Kermode repeatedly banging himself. Erm...

I've just watched Mark Kermode giving closeup head to the cameraman. Uh...

I've just watched Mark Kermode abusing himse...nevermind.

[kfki]

that means he like it! hitting your head back and forth like a rockstar!

[GCmediacourse]

I counted 29 Hits

[blackicicle]

No, he's saying that this is what watching transformers is like, putting on 3d glasses and banding your hear against a metal shed. lol

[cjknotty]

Was Dr. K doing that in preperation for the film or after he'd viewed it?

[toonuraccoon]

should turn this video into a tutorial for headbanging.

[mickinwiddy]

He's chip barmy is that one

[Dragnmastralex]

its a good thing that Micheal Bay didn't do movies like Star Wars he would have blown up the deathstar 6 seconds into the credits and kept blowing everything up. he has more explosions than a 80's big hair rock band on tour and a pro wrestler entering the arena combined. I mean can you just imagin if he did the movie FOREST GUMP? it would be Bay himself playing Gump saying "I'm not a smart man, but I know how to blow things up."

[CoyoteCalienteTx]

Haaa Jolly Jack you smarmy bastard why must you send me to these funny videos? c:

[TheHappydead]

very fuuny indeed, God bless the Good Doctor

[VGJustice]

Transformers 2: So bad, it makes you want to hit your head on blunt objects.

Transformers 3: So bad, it makes you want to hit others.

[ChainsawGenie]

*pretends the camera recording this is Michael Bay's thick skull*

Everyone needs their happy place. ^_^

[warriorking4ever]

I hope to view the verbal discussion of the film Friday lol, but I too felt like banging my head off a wall after watching this film

[TeamTowers1]

Im sure Transformers will be a bad film

Im sure Ile enjoy it inspite of that

Im sure Mark will always be a smug prick.

Also there is no such thing as a good film. There is no such thing as a bad film. There is only opinions people have about the films. No ones opinion is truely the same and other peoples opinons meen nothing to the individual. So critics are pretty much meaningless.

[Zazaza47]

@TeamTowers1 I salute you!

[starbuck1983]

@TeamTowers1

Now, I completely agree with you. But, no offense intended, there's no such thing as a bad film?

If it pleases the court, may I present to you, for your own judgement and criticism - "House Of A 1000 Corpses" by Rob Zombie....

I rest my case.

By the way, this is my first post on Youtube, but i hope you don't take offense.

[TeamTowers1]

@starbuck1983

Nope I think its bad you think its bad the overwhelming majoraty think its bad but there just opinions and nothing more. To those few who liked it it's a good film to them and that is there opinion and nothing more.

Every judgment of a film we make is based on our opinion of what makes a good or bad film so there is no actual fact just opinions.

This one of the reasons Im dont like Kermode because he believes his opinons are fact and that annyone who disagrees is wrong

[lamuella]

@TeamTowers1 actually, he tends to believe the exact opposite of that. He believes that his opinions are his opinions. If he's commenting on how well the movie is made, he's talking fact, but otherwise he's quite open about the fact that he's discussing his opinion.

[TeamTowers1]

@lamuella

I could sware he started a few reveiws with alot of people like this film but there rong. Maby my memories playing tricks on me.

[nikosvault]

@TeamTowers1 "“There is a point when a personal opinion shades off into an error of fact." Gene Siskel

[TeamTowers1]

@nikosvault

I hate that way of thinking because it's looking down on people based on there taste in films.

I also hate the pandering to the masses argument because people who use it are pretty much saying look at em Im so much better then all these people because I didnt like a film they liked.

[nikosvault]

@TeamTowers1 Well, I think it's healthy to teach people that you have a right to your informed opinion. Critics are not here to make you fell better about your guilty pleasures.

The only difference between Mark and the people who are defending this movie, is that Mark gives his reasons.

[TeamTowers1]

@nikosvault

So acording to you liking a shitty movie somehow is acurate gadge who someone is. Im not talking about the people defending it Im talking about how Mark and his fans look down on people for liking it and go out of there way to make people feel bad about liking it.

Someone could be the nicest most inteligent person in the world but by your logic if they have bad taste in films all those other quality's dont matter.

[nikosvault]

@TeamTowers1 No, that what you’re saying.

If you like a trashy movie, own up to it. That’s the sign of a nice and intelligent person.

[TeamTowers1]

@nikosvault

I never said I didnt like it I just said that I know it's a bad film Im just willing to sit through an hour or so of bullshit to get to the giant robots punching each other. I dont agree with people who think it's good but I dont look down on them for it. Besides the more money this film makes the bigger the chance of there being a Mobile Suit Gundam film is.

I still dont understand why so manny people who hate it went to see it did they ot learn there lesson from the first 2?

[Yamatonix11]

So very true. 

[Markis2bi4]

 That rocked my laptop.

[zionravescene]

Could Kermode sue Michael Bay for whiplash injury?

[Zazaza47]

@zionravescene only in America.

[open0Fire]

is this the trailer for a review of a movie? wut

[BRm2008]

now can we have a proper review?

[sulijoo]

"Hey look Mum there's some weird bloke over there banging his head on a camera"

LOL Great stuff, and yes of course Mark you are right.

[AAS0009]

passers by are probably just going, wtf?

[ttandc]

How can we listen to the review using words on 5 over the internet? I'm not in the UK

[Eideric]

@ttandc Podcast. I'm not in the UK, either, and the words come across very well indeed :D

[Eideric]

@ttandc Podcast. I'm not in the UK, either, and the words come across very well, indeed :D

[ttandc]

@Eideric hahaha found it hahahahaha classic :D Thanks Eideric ;)

[TheCyberToad]

Was he bashing his head off the lens? Without my 3D glasses on, I couldn't tell whether his head was just growing larger, and then smaller again repeatedly.

[Rozilla]

Don't hold back. Tell us what you REALLY think.

[zionravescene]

I hope Bay puts these reviews on the DVD.

[TheFamilySlitheen]

Dr K does it again. Words are not needed.

Made me laugh so much chocolate milk shake is dribbling out of my nose.

[ylaviv]

Great idea for a review--I'm still laughing--and let's just forget that Linda Blair thingy.

[ajh1234]

so what did you think of it mark?

[prooc]

Update: I just saw the movie and it sucked. But Mark's still a bender lmao.

[LivinWorstNightmare]

I can't wait for the friday rant from the good doctor!

[LLMelvinL]

lolol



[MbFilmReviews]

Right Mark, we got the point, you HATED Transformers 2 and the by the look of it you didn't like Transformers 3, unless u are doing this to trick the public into thinking that. BUT do we need to see u bashing your head against the camera for a full 35 seconds? No, that was 25 seconds longer than it needed to be. In my opinion, Transformers: Dark of the Moon is actually very good, but all I can hope for is that your ACTUAL review is much better than this pile of shit video, except 0:13 - 0:38!

[drplbiftin]

@MbFilmReviews to your comment I say: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA­HAHAHAH

[tubbstarful]

enough said...

[allaboutdmagic]

Shiaf LeBouf needs to stop overacting right now. Seriously. Painful to sit through.

[prooc]

He's a queer. Queer's don't like action movies, so when he sees it he automatically tunes out.

[stevenc123]

@prooc I take it you didn't enjoy the film then.

[prooc]

@stevenc123 Look at how well kept he is and how he accessorizes. He's a total queer.

And I haven't seen the movie yet.

[SuspenduAuGaffa]

Based on the thumbnail, I thought this video was going to be done in the style of an FPS video game. It was only on watching it that I realised that the "weapon" at the bottom left of the screen was the Kermode head and glasses as seen from below.

[ABDILLASOUR]

i dint like the movie

[samhain81]

So he likes the movie then.

[asamayub]

the best review ive seen in MY LIFE!

thats all i needed to see... F*** transformers now

[SamHain1031666]

What i dont understand about Kermode is that he actually gave Skyline a fair review and its a much worse movie than Transformers. I hate all the transformers films but im starting to think Mark just has a grudge against Michael Bay, and its silly

[CRACKFOXROX]

LOL@ the guy that said everyone else likes 3D, it's such a shame the general population of the world are idiots. Loved the return of the joke, could have just been a 30 second video though :)

[OpinionatedBlog]

I'm not gonna lie. What happened after he put on the glasses made me laugh really stupidly loud.

So, I know where I'm going to be tuning into tomorrow at 12PM. I expect blood, Mr. Kermode! Blood, or else!!

[ThorFan4Life]

I sash agree that it sucked... I still loved it though

[pwnageprata]

what a pansy. this stale joke would've been passable if he had actually slammed his head against the camera rather than embarrassingly pretending to and cutting in some cheap sound effect.

by the way, Dark of the Moon was awesome. not that it's saying much, but it was the best of the three. Ken Jeong and Alan Tudyk steal the show. worth seeing if only for the great moon-landing opening sequence.

[lmen1990]

@pwnageprata shut up.

[pwnageprata]

@lmen1990 No u

[slorko]

Looking forward to Mark throwing down the hammer on Mr. Bay. Hopefully it won't just be a sigh.

[doughboi54]

am i the only one that did not understand this head banging..

[MbFilmReviews]

@doughboi54 No you're not, I didn't understand why we needed to see it for a fully 35 seconds. Do it for 10 seconds, maybe 15 but NOT 35! Or even better, DON'T DO IT AT ALL and actually review the movie! Have u seen Transformers 3?

[doughboi54]

@MbFilmReviews i agree with you comepletely, it was a waste of my time, but for some reason i did not end the video.. weird huh? I saw transformers today, i liked the action and stuff, pretty decent movie if you ask me, but i still liked the first one the best for some reason.

[thatsamoanguy]

I got the joke the first 10 seconds you did it. Did this REALLY have to be almost two minutes? Very Michael Bay-esque, I'll give you that.

[Damarsh]

Michael bay made 4 accounts

[surfaceslider]

that bad, huh?

[hYpYz]

hahahahahahahha as soon as i saw transformers 3 in the title i knew its going to be interesting

[ttandc]

Does anybody know how we can listen to the review with words over the internet? I'm not in the UK channel/station 5 does not broadcast to Australia :D

[Spoonerism2501]

Not the Hair! NOT THE HAIR!!!!

[NativeAlternative]

Are your videos always filmed using a camera with a lens the same density and properties as a steel wall? : O

[101ChrisTube]

@henman09 every other review on you tube disagrees so gtfo the 3d is sick

[TheInceptionLover]

I so want this rant to be as good as the Pirates of the Caribbean 3 one ;)

[Nataloff]

Joyous.



[Howler15]

cant wait now but i bet he doesnt rant just gives up, come on mark you owe us a rant you let us down with pirates

[Mavarik]

i think he likes it :D

[henman09]

first film was good. second one was hurrendous. 3 is a gargantuan piece of shit.

[simondb99]

Although I'm now looking forward to a Friday rant I have a suspicion it'll be more a sigh than a rant.

[ImaScotsman]

@simondb99 You were hopefully not disappointed in his full blown rant. Was one of his best i felt.

[TheHitherto]

Tell it like it is Mark :)

[queenrocks21]

The coif is destroyed :(

[Webhead123]

That pretty much sums up how I feel about Michael Bay. The man has all the subtlety of a dump truck, which I suppose is appropriate for Transformers if all you're looking for is to see CGI robots fight each other for no particularly compelling reason.

[21cwh04]

Because nobody didn't expect that.

I'm certain people and critics batter the 'Transformers' pictures for personal reasons rather than filmic. In fact, I'm pretty sure it just makes a days work easier to give the film a bad review and just to jump on the band wagon with everyone else so they don't lose any reader respect for actually admitting they may like something.

Give Bay and the Bots a break - 'DOTM' looks like an visual riot. Whether you like it or not, Bay knows action and spectacle.

[KonChul]

Haha, i'm not surpriced.

[TheConciseStatement]

That's a lot of head. Even for the husband of an erotic film scholar, that's a lot of head.

[ttandc]

I'd wager even Mark would give a thumbs up to the CGI in the movie, but that's probably makes the whole trilogy even more tragic. So many extremely talented CGI developers worked on a movie that was just complete and utter crap. Micheal Bay has my vote for worst director ever :D

[clackclickbang]

Absolutely brilliant,

[jedivisconti]

KkKKKKKK, It happened again, Ohhhh NOOOoo, Dear Doctor, you are coursed... Thanks.

[mattmaloneypresents]

That must be what's it's like to have sex with the Good Doctor.

[EcologicalFighter]

In an insane world, Mark Kermode is the sanest reviewer.

[SamHain1031666]

hahaha no words needed

[donteetpeople]

This review makes more sense than anything else I've heard about Transformers 3. Well done, Mark.

[Jcolinsol]

I can't believe they made three of these. The first one was incomprehensible enough.

[Redem10]

A micheal bay threequel in 3D, this was made for Kermode

[KingOfTheShrews]

Maybe he's banging his head this time because he is disappointed that he actually loved it.

But probably not.

[DriveStartTV]

@jd899 Half and half I believe, which is an odd approach, I remember reading an interview with Michael Bay and he said he really like shooting on film and of course 3D has to be shot digitally and I believe parts were shot with the intention of being post converted (not quite retrofitted) parts were shot in 3D and others were entirely CGI anyway but I could be wrong.

As much as I hate almost all his movies in that interview Michael Bay did come across as a smart guy (from a technical standpoint)

[JackOsborneFilm]

I think he liked this one :)

[oneworldfamily]

Oh God! Just to see the title of this posting by the good Dr, you know what it's going to be about.... let's see if I'm right...

[QuatermassMan]

Great! Can't wait to see it!!

[KeyMasta92]

Frankly, this movie deserves nothing more than this review. Every spoken word is a word wasted. Doesn't take away that I'm looking forward to his review on friday haha :)

[petertyson2]

So from that I'm guessing it's yet more of the same... right Dr. K?.

[MrVinushka]

And yet the quiff remains immaculate.

[echi2567]

so i'm guessing Kermode liked the movie? Haha



[semolinapilchard9]

Why use words? I think you've said it all!

[macmarone]

Umm, you say it best, when you say nothing at all

[sunnygirly2k4]

Hurry up, Friday!

Cannot wait to see how futile this third installment is.

[jd899]

Has this review been shot in 3D or retrofitted?

[MrRutty09]

Does that mean he likes it?!?

[J0Nramirez]

Sometimes I cannot bare how Immature you can be for your age. *sigh*

[Foshi]

@J0Nramirez That's why I love him so much.

[Hyman74Roth]

CAN'T WAIT!! Shame Kermode has to kill himself in order to entertain us.

[dinolast]

I am going to see it tonight. I hated the second one, but you never know it could be, oh who I'm I kidding. My 14 year old nephew will probably like it.

[senorfatso]

You've hyped upped a mega-rant now Mark

[Mo7V3]

Genius! The assault with 3-D glasses upon the camera is representing how it is destroying cinema and the sound effects (which sound like the Transformers music/fx) represents how Bay's films are destroying the cinema.

[Lastmarineonmars]

hilarious

[sfmans]

Oh I am soooooo looking forward to the review on Friday ... Simon will have time to make a cup of tea, read the paper and probably pre-record his Radio 2 show by the time Mark's vented his angst ...

[epicdream]

It was another great head-banging sequel... ? ;-)

[BritishHitProduction]

Oh mark will you shut the F*** up!?

[fitandhappy42]

i think he took it well.

[p0rq]

And the Dax Wax still holds!

[sinbysin666]

nuff said!!!

[rick694uk]

The most coherent film review you've ever posted!

[idawson007]

Is this supposed to be funny? It wasn't that funny two years ago. Did he really think it needed to be repeated, the only difference being the 3d glass? Well, I guess you could ask the same question of the movies, LOL!

[MoBiUG]

I'm jazzed for the film, but still quite enjoyed this.

[flosy123]

Please stop in scared...

[Derm1991]

I wonder if anyone saw this being filmed. Now that would be quite a sight..

[karowyn]

that bad ...

[MuadDib1402]

I felt a great disturbance in the quiff, as if millions of follicles were suddenly out of place.

[clonard]

After hearing Mark's epic review for TF2 in 09, I can't wait to hear whet he thought of the latest movie. Gonna be an epic review!!!

[TheScriptTV]

I thought so Mark, hoping for a f*cking big rant. I crave it.

[ELCNUmorFnaMehT]

This says all I need to know about the new Transformers film. Perfect review.

[ehmazin]

*HEADBANGING*

THIS FILM ROCKS

[IBDoyle]

This video would be so good in 3D.

[o404o]

Woah! it's as if Kermode is actually coming at th- actually no it doesn't.

[kikkakieran]

why has the good dr stopped uploading his reviews on you tube? i miss them! i live in italy so i can't tune in to the radio show. please mr kermode continue with the uploads!!

[owenthepenguin]

@kikkakieran Get the Podcast?

[kikkakieran]

@owenthepenguin excuse my stupidity, but how?

[owenthepenguin]

@kikkakieran Either suscribe to it on iTunes via the iTunes Store, or go here bbc.co.uk/podcasts/series/kerm­ode

[kikkakieran]

@owenthepenguin thanks for the help, i'll do that now.

[drunkenmaster1605199]

the longer you watch the funnier it gets

[LordTrilby]

I have me hopes for a Kermodeian rant of epic proportions after seeing this. :)

I assume that the girl in this is Michael Bays new Victoria Secrets casting couch girlfriend/starlet? For the next few films at least, until he gets bored and swaps her for a newer/younger VS model.

[brettredmayne]

Is it Friday yet, I am more excited about the review

[PremissMedia]

For some reason I was expecting this after seeing the last Transformers review :D



[spugesdu]

I got motion sickness watching this review, BUT THANK GOD it wasn't Transformers 3.

[BadAssBen78]

Looks good.

[tristessa56079]

This review is gonna be a screamer...can't wait!

[RabbiPabblo]

I can't wait for this rant. It even has a build up!

[mrfist6]

Well that pretty much sums it up.

[FormerHuman]

yup

[kraftytactics]

Cannot. Wait. For. This. Review. This is a perfect teaser for Friday.

[phantomdoodler]

I expect 100 different remixes of this video, to 100 different varieties of music

[Gummy132]

@BlairBPhillips Just like the new Transformers movies.

[Taporeee]

He's gonna break his Cannistaa!

[MasterIsOut]

Kermode headbutting my screen is the scariest thing I've ever seen.

[drplbiftin]

Someone ought to remix those sounds into a song.

[davko79]

hahaha brill

[moshun]

@BlairBPhillips i think that's the point, it's meant to be like the tedium of watching 2.5 hrs of beautifully rendered soulless guff.

[Lessdeth14]

Oh, I'm looking forward to this review.

[djmax2k6]

lol some of the clips they showd in the video actually look good. nice continuous shots of action with little of the fast cuts they usually use.

[ArtlessIb]

lol

[alexander9may]

So.. You didn't like it?