For what it's worth, I didn't get all the way through this video simply because I had nothing better to do. In fact, the reason I'm just commenting now is because I had to wait until I had the time to watch it all at once. Because I just enjoy listening to you. <3
Banana- Wanting to start a business and get very rich! Whatever happened to you being a marxist? For shame!
Anyway, I'm 22, at Uni in 2nd year, currently failing, have literally two friends (and I use the term friend loosely, as I've only known one for 3 months) and I probably went out about 5 times my entire first year. I spend to much time in my room smoking weed alone and moping about myself. My own fault really. Well at least you have a boyfriend and are getting laid.
Those are stratus clouds! I really like how you describe the push and pull between your ideology and wanting to fit in. It's not easy to be a feminist that questions beauty standards. Because we do feel the social pressure - we aren't immune to it. It helps to not watch TV and have mirrors less accessible.
I am watching while writing code. Everything on the planet is essentially worthless. Give yourself your own worth. Maybe you are just afraid of where your future is going since you are done with school and do not have a clear view/plan
"However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names. It is not so bad as you are. It looks poorest when you are richest. The fault-finder will find faults even in paradise. Love your life, poor as it is." -Thoreau
i can relate to you near the end. i have plenty of people in my life who care about me, and they show it to me every day. but at the same time i usually feel like no one really cares about me. it used to bother me that i felt that way, now i'm just used to it since i've gotten comfortable with enjoying my own company. we are social creatures, doesn't mean we need a ton of people around us. for some of us, just one close friend is good enough (which i still haven't found yet).
Yes, I give a shit, because this is deeper than your average YouTube video; seriously, I feel more satisfied with the ten second silences in this video than with hour-and-a-half long lectures I've viewed on this site.
Also, in a depressive the melancholia (i.e. miserable gittish-ness) is really part of the personality; you can't really "accept and embrace it" but you have to accept its a permanent fixture.
@GloomBoomDoom I'm sorry you felt the need to block me. The idea of not being able to comment on your videos is very sad. I was genuinely concerned that the rudeness to 2b was out of character and you might be suffering in some way. I was not trying to be an asshole.
banana :) I like listening to you. I have some things to say about make up, trying to feel good about yourself and what the media does to us. I'll see if I can try and record something
banana, no, i do not find the idea of you being a marxist socialist having your own business as strange. I listen to and watch you ramble because you do it so articulately with such soul baring honesty that you scare me into thinking about my own apartness.
I really enjoy watching your videos. You're someone on youtube I feel I can relate to. Feeling isloated is tough. I spent most of my college years like that. I think it's important to realise that there are people who find you interesting and value what you have to say about things. Even if it seems small, it counts.
How relative everything is! You live in the UK, and you feel depressed... You can't imagine how many people would like to live in the UK. Or look like you, :)... You must learn to 'relativize'. That's what me and my friends call this - to remind yourself about other people, who are not as lucky as you.
I've found that it helps a lot if you start doing something that is important to you that is engrossing (reading, for ex.), and feel irritated if you are interrupted by somebody close to you :D
I never made any good friends at uni. Excuse me 2:1 is good I would be well chuffed with that. I am worrying a lot about my appearance because of the thought of job interviews and making a good impression and whatever. And yeah me too I hate the idea of working for some capitalist corporation but at the end of the day we need money, so I think working freelance, starting your own company is a better option than working for The Man. ;)
I think these kind of videos are nice, just talking about life and general chat. :) Be true to yourself and DO NOT watch 10 years younger. I hate that shit.
@BoundlessEyes Not done yet, few more things to do, stomach bug permitting. Celebrated shivering in bed with a sick bucket :-P . Hope your exams go well and you feel better. xx
I'm a bit of an oddball anyway. It's different when you're at uni, ie in a place where there is a high concentration of people you should theoretically get along with or in a city with a load of buzzy people. I didn't gel with where you are at all. Shame we never met when I was though, as then there might have been.
Btw, I officially hate you. It is wild, grey, rainy and windy here. Waaah.
@Loreleila I'm a bit of an oddball too, it's the only way to be. I plan to become increasingly eccentric with age. =)
I was thinking the same: living in a smaller community would probably suit me better. University is a nightmare for the socially anxious! Maybe I'll do better when there isn't so much pressure (on everyone including myself) to make friends and keep them. I find I make good friends very rarely and unexpectedly but I do everything I can to keep them once I've identified them.
Banana. I haven't left you many comments in the past, but watch the majority of your videos. I actually feel a certain comfort in the way you see British society, government, mainstream media, capitalism, etc. as i feel more or less exactly the same as you appear to. We have been placed in a rather unfortunate position.. it's nice to know you've recognised that, and had the character to actually resist the oppression rather than being a silenced semi-willing participant like most.
I still feel very connected to your videos. Sometimes I put these long personal ones on in the background like an audiobook, and it reminds me of being thirteen and having someone really talk to you late at night (I don't know if that's an inherent 'being thirteen' experience, but it certainly hasn't really happened to me since). I relate to bits and pieces, and I don't relate to bits and pieces, but I love them. I would watch them if you posted more :)
Banana! Your annoying libertarian subscriber here. Sometimes I feel sad but recognize the fact that I have no reason for it and it's just brain chemistry. That makes me feel powerful and slightly better in a way, because I'm sure there are people out there without the introspective power to confront that in themselves-- they're just driven by the chemistry. If it doesn't make sense, you don't need to dignify it. Am I right?
@hugesinker Haha, it's not annoying. Tis' a good thing to have varied viewpoints around in comments.
In a way it makes me feel better to think of it as brain chemistry... but in another, it makes it seem more permanent and inevitable. But yes, I think it does differentiate you from people around you if you're willing to accept that our reality is one of hormones and electrical impulses, and we only feel important because we experience ourselves subjectively.
Banana! Hi Jess, I genuinely enjoy your videos. :) You're amazing, really. You're an inspiration to me (although that probably sounds absurd to you). ~ Katherine
No, you are not wasting my time. I might be wasting my time (I should be downstairs in the gym right now or playing a game on KGS), but it's mine to waste.
I find it helps to focus on the few positive things in life and to just ignore the negative voices. It didn't cure me or change the fact that my life is miserable, but I drive away fewer people and enjoy life a bit more.
@BoundlessEyes Too late. Took a wonderful nap and now my roommate (who has the access key) has gone to work. So body weight exercises and back to job hunting. :/
I do enjoy your videos Jess! I'm glad to see you back! <3 I'd love to seem more videos of you, so much so that I'm going to put a banana in this comment. ( <- That's a banana.
Bananas have lots of potassium, but apples actually have more.
I quite enjoy your videos, they make me feel so connected, like I am not alone in my own social awkwardness and low self esteem. I think that you would be a kick ass business owner.
It's so pretty and sunny out and you look so pretty and dressed for nice weather in this nice big field and you just keep circling these negative things... You have people to care about you, and even when they aren't around, they care about you. Tell yourself that, please... also, I think you should go watch the video on my channel in my favorites box titled "How to be Alone".. 2 vids down from yours. Get your priorities straight. The experience is only negative if you say so. Fuck everyone else
@LaFemmeCelena Partly high expectations - I want people to be deep, caring, committed, and that's not realistic in brand new friendships. And partly depression - sometimes I make tentative early friendships and then get down for a month, or really socially anxious, and I don't feel able to accept invitations and text people back.
You still get a lot of views, so obviously people still like what you have to say, me included. If you look at most users on here they only get a fraction of the number of subs they have. I watch pretty much everything you upload and I consider you a friend, you're very honest and upfront and I respect that. :)
You already answered your own question people have lives (as sad as some of them are) So don't worry about it make videos when you have shit to talk about
where are you St Pauls Old bill are always blaring their sirens there or bloody knowle west
@gothatfunk Thanks man, I can't believe it took me so long to get to know you through videos - you've been around longer than I have. Always looking forward to the next one.
i enjoy listening to you spraff =]
big thumbs up
Mikeyculley2332 9 months ago
Banana
anarrei 9 months ago
Banana.
For what it's worth, I didn't get all the way through this video simply because I had nothing better to do. In fact, the reason I'm just commenting now is because I had to wait until I had the time to watch it all at once. Because I just enjoy listening to you. <3
aamesxdavid 9 months ago
Oh yeah, I forgot to write banana.
feakysnucker 9 months ago
so many people writing you and so many watching, I often feel lonely in a crowd. Banana
bikemessenger7 9 months ago
Banana- Wanting to start a business and get very rich! Whatever happened to you being a marxist? For shame!
Anyway, I'm 22, at Uni in 2nd year, currently failing, have literally two friends (and I use the term friend loosely, as I've only known one for 3 months) and I probably went out about 5 times my entire first year. I spend to much time in my room smoking weed alone and moping about myself. My own fault really. Well at least you have a boyfriend and are getting laid.
SeedsofJoy 9 months ago
Those are stratus clouds! I really like how you describe the push and pull between your ideology and wanting to fit in. It's not easy to be a feminist that questions beauty standards. Because we do feel the social pressure - we aren't immune to it. It helps to not watch TV and have mirrors less accessible.
cannibalcountry 9 months ago
Banana
GataAgressiva411 9 months ago
Banana and love from Texas and such.
liknital07 9 months ago
banana
I am watching while writing code. Everything on the planet is essentially worthless. Give yourself your own worth. Maybe you are just afraid of where your future is going since you are done with school and do not have a clear view/plan
"However mean your life is, meet it and live it; do not shun it and call it hard names. It is not so bad as you are. It looks poorest when you are richest. The fault-finder will find faults even in paradise. Love your life, poor as it is." -Thoreau
gr8malboski 9 months ago
i can relate to you near the end. i have plenty of people in my life who care about me, and they show it to me every day. but at the same time i usually feel like no one really cares about me. it used to bother me that i felt that way, now i'm just used to it since i've gotten comfortable with enjoying my own company. we are social creatures, doesn't mean we need a ton of people around us. for some of us, just one close friend is good enough (which i still haven't found yet).
also banana.
Cuddlebunzzzz 9 months ago
BANANA!
Yes, I give a shit, because this is deeper than your average YouTube video; seriously, I feel more satisfied with the ten second silences in this video than with hour-and-a-half long lectures I've viewed on this site.
Also, in a depressive the melancholia (i.e. miserable gittish-ness) is really part of the personality; you can't really "accept and embrace it" but you have to accept its a permanent fixture.
niriop 9 months ago
Youtube for social approval? You are a few steps above me, don't worry about it. Everyone loves you.
ztakn 9 months ago
blue-tiful video
banana ..and such
GloomBoomDoom 9 months ago
@GloomBoomDoom I'm sorry you felt the need to block me. The idea of not being able to comment on your videos is very sad. I was genuinely concerned that the rudeness to 2b was out of character and you might be suffering in some way. I was not trying to be an asshole.
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
banana :) I like listening to you. I have some things to say about make up, trying to feel good about yourself and what the media does to us. I'll see if I can try and record something
nelliediddle 9 months ago
bananas
Nice camera shot.
Good show.
You should really be revising for your exams rather than waisting time making videos.
Nuron666 9 months ago
*sends bananas and self-esteem via mind bullets*
ulnartwitch 9 months ago
banana, no, i do not find the idea of you being a marxist socialist having your own business as strange. I listen to and watch you ramble because you do it so articulately with such soul baring honesty that you scare me into thinking about my own apartness.
PerthPete1 9 months ago
Hello there from Australia. Some kind of fruit.
streamlifely 9 months ago
Social life is over-rated. It's a conspiracy implemented by The Man(TM) used for mind control in order to sell greeting cards.
ulnartwitch 9 months ago
I really enjoy watching your videos. You're someone on youtube I feel I can relate to. Feeling isloated is tough. I spent most of my college years like that. I think it's important to realise that there are people who find you interesting and value what you have to say about things. Even if it seems small, it counts.
prettyriot 9 months ago
Hey, I was always glad to see a video from you, but even more so since you pissed off the Bunny ;-)
Gods, the dissertation thing, I remember that stress, Ug.
And yeah, more videos like this would be great! You're an interesting person, I'm always glad to hear from you.
Hey, I got a 2:2, so that 2:1, be proud of it!
Looking for job right now, I hate it. I mean I'm hoping to get job with a charity, so that's not so bad.
Oh, and BANANA!
GriffinPilgrim 9 months ago
How relative everything is! You live in the UK, and you feel depressed... You can't imagine how many people would like to live in the UK. Or look like you, :)... You must learn to 'relativize'. That's what me and my friends call this - to remind yourself about other people, who are not as lucky as you.
I've found that it helps a lot if you start doing something that is important to you that is engrossing (reading, for ex.), and feel irritated if you are interrupted by somebody close to you :D
dewinthemorning 9 months ago
BANANA I have shit to do I'm very busy but I can't resist procrastinating!
AnnikaGarratt 9 months ago
I never made any good friends at uni. Excuse me 2:1 is good I would be well chuffed with that. I am worrying a lot about my appearance because of the thought of job interviews and making a good impression and whatever. And yeah me too I hate the idea of working for some capitalist corporation but at the end of the day we need money, so I think working freelance, starting your own company is a better option than working for The Man. ;)
AnnikaGarratt 9 months ago
@AnnikaGarratt I'm glad I'm not the only one!
I don't think you'll ever have a problem with making money as a free-lancer. How did your lion go? Did you show it in a video?
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
@BoundlessEyes aint finished the lion yet but i will do an update soon :)
AnnikaGarratt 9 months ago
I think these kind of videos are nice, just talking about life and general chat. :) Be true to yourself and DO NOT watch 10 years younger. I hate that shit.
AnnikaGarratt 9 months ago
Jess you have my social approval ;)
AnnikaGarratt 9 months ago
BANANA!! and i am coming back for part 2
BornUnderABadSign89 9 months ago
@BornUnderABadSign89 =D
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
Finishing uni is doing my head in it is so demoralising. :/
AnnikaGarratt 9 months ago
@AnnikaGarratt I know lovely... nearly there. When are you done?x
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
@BoundlessEyes End of the month! D:
AnnikaGarratt 9 months ago
@SeaInsideHer <3
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
@saaweeet <3
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
Banana. I'm several years younger than you, but...
lateralpazwalk(dot)wordpress(dot)com/2011/05/25/life/
I can relate.
lateralpazwalk 9 months ago
@lateralpazwalk I've commented on the post itself. <3
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
I just handed in my dissertation, celebrated with a stomach bug and projectile vomiting.
ultimateinfinite 9 months ago
@ultimateinfinite =( I'm sorry to hear it. Are you done for good now or do you have any exams? More importantly, did you celebrate alone? =p
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
@BoundlessEyes Not done yet, few more things to do, stomach bug permitting. Celebrated shivering in bed with a sick bucket :-P . Hope your exams go well and you feel better. xx
ultimateinfinite 9 months ago
Yeah, you think your depressed. I watched this whole video how do you think I feel ?
haha, na just kidding. :P
Curas1 9 months ago
I'm a bit of an oddball anyway. It's different when you're at uni, ie in a place where there is a high concentration of people you should theoretically get along with or in a city with a load of buzzy people. I didn't gel with where you are at all. Shame we never met when I was though, as then there might have been.
Btw, I officially hate you. It is wild, grey, rainy and windy here. Waaah.
Loreleila 9 months ago
@Loreleila I'm a bit of an oddball too, it's the only way to be. I plan to become increasingly eccentric with age. =)
I was thinking the same: living in a smaller community would probably suit me better. University is a nightmare for the socially anxious! Maybe I'll do better when there isn't so much pressure (on everyone including myself) to make friends and keep them. I find I make good friends very rarely and unexpectedly but I do everything I can to keep them once I've identified them.
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
I fucking love introspective videos like this, this my favorite video youve made
thramagen 9 months ago
@thramagen I'm really glad you enjoyed it.
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
Banana. I haven't left you many comments in the past, but watch the majority of your videos. I actually feel a certain comfort in the way you see British society, government, mainstream media, capitalism, etc. as i feel more or less exactly the same as you appear to. We have been placed in a rather unfortunate position.. it's nice to know you've recognised that, and had the character to actually resist the oppression rather than being a silenced semi-willing participant like most.
all the best.
jamiethomsonssongs 9 months ago
@jamiethomsonssongs I'm really glad I'm not alone on those things. It's nice to know that somebody close to home gets where I'm coming from. =)
I accidentally rejected your friend request, so I've sent you one.
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
I still feel very connected to your videos. Sometimes I put these long personal ones on in the background like an audiobook, and it reminds me of being thirteen and having someone really talk to you late at night (I don't know if that's an inherent 'being thirteen' experience, but it certainly hasn't really happened to me since). I relate to bits and pieces, and I don't relate to bits and pieces, but I love them. I would watch them if you posted more :)
velvetporcupine 9 months ago
@velvetporcupine I do that too. I'm glad you feel like we can relate to one another. I'll try to find more stimulating topics in future.
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
Banana. I give a shit.
iheartslug 9 months ago
Banana! Your annoying libertarian subscriber here. Sometimes I feel sad but recognize the fact that I have no reason for it and it's just brain chemistry. That makes me feel powerful and slightly better in a way, because I'm sure there are people out there without the introspective power to confront that in themselves-- they're just driven by the chemistry. If it doesn't make sense, you don't need to dignify it. Am I right?
hugesinker 9 months ago
@hugesinker Haha, it's not annoying. Tis' a good thing to have varied viewpoints around in comments.
In a way it makes me feel better to think of it as brain chemistry... but in another, it makes it seem more permanent and inevitable. But yes, I think it does differentiate you from people around you if you're willing to accept that our reality is one of hormones and electrical impulses, and we only feel important because we experience ourselves subjectively.
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
Banana! Hi Jess, I genuinely enjoy your videos. :) You're amazing, really. You're an inspiration to me (although that probably sounds absurd to you). ~ Katherine
KatherineOlivia149 9 months ago
@KatherineOlivia149 Thanks Katherine. =)
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
No, you are not wasting my time. I might be wasting my time (I should be downstairs in the gym right now or playing a game on KGS), but it's mine to waste.
I find it helps to focus on the few positive things in life and to just ignore the negative voices. It didn't cure me or change the fact that my life is miserable, but I drive away fewer people and enjoy life a bit more.
Maxdwolf 9 months ago
@Maxdwolf Oh yeah, and I hate bananas.
Maxdwolf 9 months ago
@Maxdwolf Definitely agree. Now stop wasting your time and get to the gym!
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
@BoundlessEyes Too late. Took a wonderful nap and now my roommate (who has the access key) has gone to work. So body weight exercises and back to job hunting. :/
Maxdwolf 9 months ago
@Maxdwolf Job hunting sucks ass almost as much as revision.
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
Comment removed
Mindliner 9 months ago
I'm a relatively new subscriber and really like your videos...banana.
AlexanCarn 9 months ago 2
@AlexanCarn Thanks, and welcome!
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
I do enjoy your videos Jess! I'm glad to see you back! <3 I'd love to seem more videos of you, so much so that I'm going to put a banana in this comment. ( <- That's a banana.
MysticWhiteReaper 9 months ago
@MysticWhiteReaper Hehe, thanks. Here's one for you too. (
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
BANANA!
freelancewhore 9 months ago
Banana!
jadekite22 9 months ago
Yes, I like you. You are one of the people I subscribe to who I miss if they haven't uploaded for a while, and think, "I hope he/she is allright"...
Gottaget ready for work now...
RONLAST 9 months ago
@RONLAST Hope you had a good day.
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
I've got a banana for you. ;)
I could go for a sip of your wine.
SBRslacker00 9 months ago
@SBRslacker00 Lol, I'd probably need a lot of wine to be interested in your banana. =p
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
Bananas have lots of potassium, but apples actually have more.
I quite enjoy your videos, they make me feel so connected, like I am not alone in my own social awkwardness and low self esteem. I think that you would be a kick ass business owner.
MsAneThrope 9 months ago
It's so pretty and sunny out and you look so pretty and dressed for nice weather in this nice big field and you just keep circling these negative things... You have people to care about you, and even when they aren't around, they care about you. Tell yourself that, please... also, I think you should go watch the video on my channel in my favorites box titled "How to be Alone".. 2 vids down from yours. Get your priorities straight. The experience is only negative if you say so. Fuck everyone else
Bippledot 9 months ago
@Bippledot I've seen 'How to Be Alone' before, it's beautiful, thank-you.
You're absolutely right, thank-you.
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
Why do you think you have such a hard time making your own friends?
LaFemmeCelena 9 months ago
@LaFemmeCelena Partly high expectations - I want people to be deep, caring, committed, and that's not realistic in brand new friendships. And partly depression - sometimes I make tentative early friendships and then get down for a month, or really socially anxious, and I don't feel able to accept invitations and text people back.
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
You still get a lot of views, so obviously people still like what you have to say, me included. If you look at most users on here they only get a fraction of the number of subs they have. I watch pretty much everything you upload and I consider you a friend, you're very honest and upfront and I respect that. :)
StanMarsh1 9 months ago
@StanMarsh1 *hugs* you're my friend too.
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
Watch Amelie it will make you feel better.
ImaginedWriter 9 months ago
@ImaginedWriter Always does. =)
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
I wish I could replace my brain, I wonder what I would be like if I had a completely different mind- maybe better off.
ImaginedWriter 9 months ago
Banana.
ImaginedWriter 9 months ago
Speak not on politics, speak on the self- that's why I subscribed.
ImaginedWriter 9 months ago
you are awesome... i think you are fascinating... make videos when you feel up to it...
take good care...
IChoseTheRedPill 9 months ago
@IChoseTheRedPill Thank-you, you too.
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
Banana
gunnerdan70 9 months ago
You need to be infected with some American optimism and their ridiculously stupid overtly happy disposition.
British cynicism tempered with American "hope".
ImaginedWriter 9 months ago
You already answered your own question people have lives (as sad as some of them are) So don't worry about it make videos when you have shit to talk about
where are you St Pauls Old bill are always blaring their sirens there or bloody knowle west
gunnerdan70 9 months ago
@gunnerdan70 I'm in Brighton right now, I go to uni there.
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago
yeah, i like you. you've got a good head on your shoulders, and you try to see the bigger picture when you talk about most things.
gothatfunk 9 months ago
@gothatfunk Thanks man, I can't believe it took me so long to get to know you through videos - you've been around longer than I have. Always looking forward to the next one.
BoundlessEyes 9 months ago