Added: 4 years ago
From: JackDanyells
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  • Funny! And well made.

  • WOW!!! Someone went into way too much thought one day.

  • Kryptonite Condom. I think Trojan still makes them. I should know, that's what I used when I did the dirty with Power Girl.

  • The answer is easy! A Red Sun Chamber. Supes could do the dirty with Lois Lane in a red sun chamber, and she could use the same technology to bring the pregnancy to term.

  • Venetian Princess makes a hawt Supergirl!

  • My GOD that was funny!

  • Who knew that superman was Jewish?

  • @murderbunnies Why not?  His creators were Jewish!

  • enjoyable enough, but the writing was pretty bad.

  • This is terrible.

  • If you take the Superman movies to be canon (well, the first two anyway), there was one other Kryptonian female out there who wasn't a blood relative of Kal-El. Unfortunately, there are a couple of problems here:

    1) She was already in a committed relationship with General Zod.

    2) She has psychological traits that, in addition to making her a dangerous criminal, would make her an undesirable mate for Kal-El and very likely an unfit mother.

  • Great costume...you have "the look" and seems to fit your bod pretty welll...you look REALLY hot changing from Clark To Superman..!

  • You didn't say pterodactyl correctly. Petrodactyl?

  • Supersperm!

  • @omgwtfbbqxD Bet it has a cape on!

  • god hasnt any1 watched smallville all they need is a BLUE kryptonite it temporary takes away the powers of any kryptonian all they to do is have sex in a room full of blue k the if theyre going out or somethin LL can wear some blue kryptonite necklace or ring or somethin god thats all they need....

  • @marioylis Red Sun Lamps would do the same too.

  • Man, that old boy needs to get hisself some strange. Still a couple thousand, non-related Kryptonian women running around, go get some!

  • The solution is obvious, knock up Wonder Woman. As an immortal Amazon she can totally handle Kryptonian jism.

  • there is just one flaw with the sperm. in order to gain his powers superman has to absorb the solar rays through his eyes, sperm doesn't have eyes there for no super powers

  • Poor Lois.

  • It was funny watching this, but all of the reasons why this article was true once are now moot in the versions of Superman over the last 20 years.

  • This was of course written a long time ago. Pre-Crisis, and all that.

    Kandor throws everything into a tizzy, including the whole question of Kryptonians becoming extinct (a breeding population of millions in that bottled city).

    Today, a high school girl (whether secretly Supergirl or not) can show up pregnant and, while she may be teased, she'll hardly be thrown out of school. Indeed, she'll be offered counseling.

    Or she could make it with her cousin and they could go on Jerry Springer.

  • It's "terr-o-dac-tyle", not "pet-ra-dac-tyl".

    Mind you, that's a nice neologism.

  • Also, Lemurs aren't marsupials of Austrialia... they're primates from Madagascar, and both Marsupials and primates are Mammals, so marsupials don't have "mammalian counterparts."

  • indeed, but he just mistook primitive to mean "reptile", a rookie error.

  • uhhhhh I guess red sunlamps could work????

  • Couldn't Superman just take "LL" to the miniature Kryptonian city in a bottle, Kandor, where he has no powers? He could leave LL there for the nine months of gestation, assuming that's all it takes, and just commute between Kandor and Metropolis.

  • Or LL can just wear a kryptonian amulet.

  • 1) There is at least one audio tape of Niven reading it himself. hillarious. hunt it down!

    2) I've always wondered why niven never explored red sunlight as a solution. But then I'm a comic fanboy and think of things that gut the heart out of an author's main idea. :)

  • cool video! didn't know that venetian princess was in this video! cool!

  • My late mother told me about this, I almost didn't believe her. I mean, it's so damn absurd! But man, it's so freaking funny. Granted this is if we keep Supe's original characteristics and not the alterations he may have suffered in recent history.

    For one, wouldn't krytonite cause cancer for Lois? Heheheh, guess we' have to find out.

  • There are a few wholes in this essay...1 the effects of a red sun also leave superman powerless alowing him to mate, and 2 as a child he didnt develop his powers completely till he was a teenager

  • Clever enough adaptation of a classic essay by Niven, but it still - excuse me - looks rather amateurish. Kal - El could always have sex with Linda Danvers / Supergirl without breaking any laws of genetics or morality ( ? ). Oops - Forgot ! Supergirl was killed then conveniently erased from continuity like a red - shirted ensign in Star Trek. What to do.....

  • Hey, that was the Venetian Princess at 10:38! She's just amazing, I'm subscribed to her channel. I watched this not knowing that she's in.

    The video is well made, but honestly I didn't like the story much. I know it wasn't written by the guys in the video. But well done for the clip.

  • I read this shortly after it hit print decades ago. Just as hilarious now as it was then.

  • This is hilarious yet logical. Its funny that DC comics has disregarded this argument after Clark and Lois got married.

  • Because with today's incarnation of the character things about him have changed, such as the fact that any kid they could have wouldn't begin develpoing significant powers until they left the womb and allowed direct contact with sunlight.

  • Thats a good get out clause on DC's part and allows the characters to actually have a relationship

  • I have always loved this short story and was very pleasantly surprised to find this video. Thanks!

  • Ha! I read this long ago. Look, according to Segal & Schuster(Action Comics #1),Superman didn't develop his full powers until he reached the age of majority, and even then he was only a little more powerfull than Spiderman. As long as we're trying to apply science to an bloody comic book, figure maybe his bones are diamond & his muscle fibers are kevlar, and his modern powers are psionic, or some kinda super tai chi control.

  • Bet she couldnt not even digest that stuff when she ate it....

  • Always loved this essay, great to see it in video form.

    Makes you wonder about sex and the Supergirl, of course. Probably the same problems of a human sperm fertilizing a kryptonian egg.

    However, I feel sorry for the poor mortal schmuck who is the victim of a super-strength kiegel! ^_^

  • I would suppose that a human sperm trying to fertilize a Kryptonian egg would succeed about as well as a Metropolis crook trying to knife the Girl of Steel -- with a ripe banana.

  • this is bull a ton of super powered men and women have had sex with human partners in comics games and cartoons and some of them where as strong if not stronger then superman. this idea of the science of superman is foolishness.

  • Exposure to Red Solar radiation during intercourse will work.

    However, Superman should be smart enough to create a special incubation chamber to contain a developing fetus...

  • Wow, always loved the original piece from Niven. That was bloody brilliant!

  • If not Wonder Woman, are there no Kandorian women that tickle his fancy? And then, there is PowerGirl. She's not related to Supeerman, and if it was me, I'd be hitting that anyway!

  • Superman could just have sex with WonderWoman and have a child.

  • thing is superman likes lois hes in love with lois. he has Precise muscle control , so precise he can even mimic other people's voices. so he wont crush her to death.

  • haha funny

  • hehehehehehe just fuck her and c what happens

  • No red-sunlight = no supersperm.

  • You red-sunlight = no super-sperm.

    But the thing is, the kid still has his Kryptonian powers. He or she can't use it until he or she gets a dose of yellow solar energy.

  • I remember the nice tan I had when I was born.

    Oh wait, no.

  • lol so superman has never had a wet dream or jacked off before i see lol. they hinted at sex between superman and lois many times if his tears can't break through concrete neither can his sperm lol. just a random jerk making stuff up soudns like a conversation between weed smoking comic book nerds lol. "dude! what if they where super sperm"

  • as for the fetus it wont haven any powers untill its born. even if the sperm was "powered up" sperm from superman's body. it would lose its power, nine months away from direct sunlight is more then enough time ro drain it's super powers. hell if superman is away from our sun for a few hours his powers are gone. also the kid would be half human perhaps it may not even develop powers untill its older. all this video shows is just some guy making stuff up for a laugh, and thats alruight by me lol

  • Wow ... i didnt know that

    super man is that screwed up LOL ...

  • with the actually intercourse (ejaculation not included) Lois Lane could be on top. well, it was written in 1971. but still. oh well.

  • It was long, but it was pretty well done! lol You definitely have video talent and a sense of humor! :)

  • omg wow...

  • Great job jack, one of my favorties by you! =]

  • Great video!

    really funny, funniest I`ve seen!

  • Long video but pretty funny.. most of this was discussed in the comic books if I remember right, pretty funny video though :D

  • Gawd, this was the funniest video I have seen in quite some time. I nearly peed myself.

  • Larry Niven is one of the best science fiction writers ever.

  • Ummm...you're messed up.

    But it's cool.

  • It's a safety issue. Women are made of Kryptonite!

  • Wow, you are fervently showcasing your 'viral' side!

    Pure genius!

    Jecado

    CoportoFilms

  • Wow totally useless random weird thinking AT.ITS.BEST. Loved it. Take it beyond any reason people, and be amused for the sake of it! Let's fly superhigh, because we all have the superpower and luxury of phantasy. Yay.

  • This most have taken a while to make. Great Job. I think supergirl could be a seragent mother. Superman wouldn't have to have sex with her and they would still be able to use LL's eggs.

  • LOL

  • wow this video answers all the questions ive ever wanted to know about superman thanks ps it was funny as hell

  • it's very very amusing! very good clip....

    btw, how long did you work this clip?

  • Dude, this was amazing!!!

    How long did it take you, the writting is hilarious!, and the animations too.

  • LOL awesome

  • Someone's thought way too much about this!

    Hehe, very good

  • Most of the powers that provided problems in this video are gained only through access to the light of the yellow sun. If the process of collecting the sperm and artificial insemination were performed under a red light, they wouldn't cause trouble. And, if you recall, Clark didn't actually develop true super strength until he was a few years old. Granted, the fetus' kicks would be more powerful, but could likely be controlled.

  • You wrote 'man of steal'

    XD

  • hehe.. funny... like a parody of superman... i laughed while watcing this video.. i`m editing my self.. and i just sad like.. he really really used a long time editing this video..

  • hahaha awesome

  • Cute! Very impressive editing... I actually stopped noticing the effects at some point, which must mean you're doing a good job.

  • This is hilarious and wrong all at the same time!

  • LOL LOL so good! BUCK

  • Very well made.

  • i'm sorry, i tried to watch it but i just couldn't. You're talented and this is a well put together video but... I'm bored! It's probably just cause i am not really into comics and/or superman. Maybe you should try not talking in ur next video?

  • I tend not to watch videos on this site over a minute or two because of the high volume of crap. I must say that this video is the best video that I have seen here. Another great job Jack! I look forward to your next video.

  • Love this vid.

    It's funny, it's long, and an improvement of ur video technique:)

  • whatch mall rats mutch?

  • Finally another one! Great job on this one

  • lol How the hell did I miss this one???

    Your videos get better and better!!

    hmmm supergirl, I wasted so many kleenex over that film.

  • This is seriously one of your best, if not the best (or, at least, tying "Isn't It Ironic"). All the hard work definitely paid off =)

  • I don't know whether to thumbs down you for the negative comment or to thumbs up you for the nudity encouragement.

  • Well, when one gets beyond age 30, it's time to face facts: dude isn't so funny, is starting to lose his hair, but has a killer body that seriously needs to be displayed more. So help me encourage him.

  • your weird.

  • You're illiterate.

  • Nice. You finally got to do your video on superman. Great job.

  • This video made my day. I give you five stars and I favorited it.

    Kudos to y'all.

  • This video is thought provoking in its own bizarre way. I would say that it was awesome, but that would be grammatically incorrect.

  • man that was some awesome editing .. pretty funny too ..

    5 stars from me ..

    your friend

    jeff

    Jeff Williams/ guitarist

    PS VenetianPrincess recommended this vid ..

  • I rarely watch any of these twice, but this was worth it. Superman needs to do some baking, he's got a bun in the oven.

  • Excellent!

  • Brilliant!!! Larry Niven was a genius. Great video here to illustrate Niven's funny and intelligent piece!

  • I don't know what to say, the excellence of the video speaks for itself. Logical and hilarious.

    Thankfully for a horny Superman and a mothering LL, they live in comic books.

  • wow!! this is very impressive! this is the first time i've heard of larry niven-- the storyline is definitely something!

    it must have taken you a long time to work on this project. good job to everyone involved!

  • This was good but I think your own writing is better.

  • i thought i recognised Kara-El

    fantastic jack - five stars all the way

  • Nicely done!

  • lol they talked about this in mallrats

  • super girl is HOT!!!!!

  • Lois Lane looks pretty good too!!!

  • been a sub for a while now, but this is ur best yet!

  • Well done, sir. Some good stuff here.

  • I read MOSWOK years ago and loved it. Thanks for making it come to life.

    You, if I may say, rock.

  • What if LL gives birth to a girl, what sperm could impregnate her(besides that of super man, but that'd be gross)? If it was a boy at least he would be roughly the same age as the power puff girls.

  • wait... theres a supergirl!?

  • lol loved the ending :]

    nice work

  • Oops, that was supposed to be a reply to Tallacus's comment about hybrids. Oh, well.

    Anyway, it's a great video. Really nice adaptation of the essay to the visual medium. The visuals had me cracking up. You are a creative guy. Follow everybody's advice and get out some, though.

  • You mean like a mule. Donkeys are a separate species. Horse dam + donkey sire = mule. Donkey dam + horse sire = hinny. Almost nobody care about the difference today, but before tractors were available mules were very important sources of power on farms. A hinny is smaller.

  • i love the conclusion... never could have guessed that one

  • microscopic gang rape....

  • wow

  • ll is hot. well done, well researched.

  • Oh my...so much for geek girls' fantasies...not that I ever...um...guess I don't mind black leather wearing bat guys afterall...

  • I'm sorry i couldn't finish it.. soo long.

  • same lol

  • amazing. really. amazing.

  • wow just wow

  • Didn't he have a kid in "Superman Returns"?

  • True but that movie sucked and if they expect us to forget about movies III and IV in order for Superman Returns to fit into the time line then we might as well forget about that one and just hope the next one is decent.

  • just imagine millions up millons of kryptonian sperm flying around..

  • i'm lost...

  • Brilliant.

  • rofl thats the best i learnt alot 5 stars

  • 04:25 killed me! XDDDD

    and "diving to fertilize the beachballs"

    I love LL's worried expression :D

  • I frickin loved it...Great job...

  • Funny AND smart... this s/b a viral classic

  • Nah, it's about 12 minutes too long for that.

  • Whaaaaat.

    Just...

    Whaaaaat.

    that was crazy

  • Well that pretty much covers everything I've ever wondered about Superman's sex life.

    The fact that I have also given this some thought, doesn't bother me in th slightest.

    But th doctor's here in th clinic, say's I need to stop obsessing about superhero-sex, and maybe take up a hobby like basket weaving. So I'll refer th Observation Unit staff to this film, and maybe now I'll get out of here.

  • wow, that was amazing. I can only image how long that video took to make! should i be clicking on the ads, do you make money if i do?

  • power girl would work thow she from a difent demoton(sp) and not his frst couesn

  • bring back the free government cheese for farmers!

  • great title-very funny! 5 stars!

  • Awesome lol

  • LL can more easily breed with an ear of corn lmao (fyi typo there)

  • he and LL have a hybrid kid in the recent movie, kryptonians and humans could mate, though the resulting hybrid would prolly end up sterile like a donkey

  • Very well done Jack!

  • roflmao excellent analysis, and pretty true when you think about it... all superman stories must now focus on superman searching for a kryptonian women he's not related to.

  • what? Did you pronounce the "P" in that word? It is SILENT. Pronounced "teradactyl"

  • its good but to long ...

    it was a pain to watch the last minutes

  • Where in the heck do you get/find these ideas? Your editing it top notch...scary to think what you could create with all the bells and whistles of a professional studio.  5 stars my friend!

  • It's too bad there's no suggestion of nonlethal biotech analogs of kryptonite to selectively inhibit the super physics of Kryptonian biological tissues. Although the limited number of Kryptonian treatment candidates would classify such medications as orphan drugs, government funding from Metropolis research grants would still be substantial, proportionate to the public health and safety hazard.

  • These drugs would allow Superman to lead a normal life, like many other extraterrestrials in fictional literature and movie scripts. With treatment, boxers would be fine, as he would not need tights to reduce his in vivo sperm count.

  • great job!

  • Owesome, that was great

  • Fantastic!

  • Wow, i loved it! its one of the best vids i ever seen dude!

  • to much for me

  • Laughing out loud! Thanks guys.

  • I have always loved this essay, you did it great justice.

  • How 'bout blow jobs? Is Rachel Gorton game?

  • Incredible video. Well worth the wait.

  • Still laughing at this one!

  • man that guy has it hard

  • superman is so gay...i had to say that.

  • Um, so Tim ... do I get an invitation to the club now, or maybe something cool like a secret decoder ring? PLEASE tell me it's a decoder ring! I've always wanted one.

  • you were always honorary, simply because your real superpower is your hair doesnt move...even in a pool...good to see you...no decoder rings anymore, we give sex toys that vibrates when the league needs you...place it somewhere fun.

  • Hahaha. And to think, I thought I was the only person who ever read that. . .

  • Not only did I read it, I incorporated it into a college paper, and of course made this video. I've gotten a lot of mileage out of this essay.

  • I can't say I encorporated it into a college paper, but I've also gotten a lot of mileage out of the essay. It's amazing how easily one can fit it into conversation.

  • I commented earlier and I definately didn't see the "writte by - " portion. I feel like a dope now.

  • It's ok. I didn't make it all the way to the end either the first time I watched it.

  • Me either!

  • u r a genius.

  • So funny!!!

    A new twist on Superman...

  • Actually it's an old(er) twist on Superman. The essay was written more than 30 yeas ago.

  • Wow you go way out for your effects.

  • Awesome!