How to complain to your partner - Complaining constructively

[zytigon]

Here is the catch 22 question I'm asking. Is it counter productive to be too patient, calm, hold it in, bite on your tongue, give civil answer when you are fuming about what they said ? If all your rage gets put into a polite, " what can I say to that " then they don't cotton on to just how angry you feel, and keep nagging. If you rage, " How can you make such outrageous statements etc ", they get that you are furious but then they get all offended & upset that you were angry.

[zytigon]

Good video thanks, lots of good ideas about talking about how you feel about things. Terry made a good point about love being the priority. Not easy to sound like that when I'm annoyed though. " I'm sorry I'm angry about this matter right now but I do love having a relationship with you ". Utopian? It is too easy to shout "damn it, this is driving me crazy " & stomp off, slamming the door. I expect it is important to show a measure of how angry you feel to give feed back, Is too nice harmful?

[closeoutcrew]

i would like to complain constructively to Katrina. perhaps engage in make up discussions, and help each other feel better.