Mass Effect 2: The Bachelor Party

[darrius13sniper]

"I'm just here for the drinks," says the Turian, probably because Salarian boy over there won't shut up and enjoy the stripper.

[DarkBabyIon]

It's weird...We humans have the talent to speculate whatever could be 80% true. :)

Like, come on the human in this argument is the first to point it out.

[Bobubobme]

OK, a salarian, human and turian walk into a bar...

[permexOQ]

-"Aren't salarian years like dog years?"

-"YOU HUMANS ARE ALL RACIST!"

[HowlingHalls]

Hm... seriously, I don't believe that Asari are controlling the minds of everyone around them... instead, I think the three guys are just drunk and we all know stuff is getting more attractive while you are drunk... or even looks like a member of your own species.

Plus, the "belly button" line contradicts the mind-controlling-hypthesis completely.

Furthermore, it's mentioned in the books that Asari look like humans... (some aliens are even said to find humans sexy because they look like Asari)

[ChortortleC]

Vorlons.

[Aracknia]

@TheExile31 Precisely my point. If Asari mind-control people to believe they are attractive, how would one appear to a guy who does not find women attractive in any way, shape or form?

[IcyScythe]

Lol it's such a weird tradition, tempting infidelity right before you get married like the dude said.

[XxxGamer5641xxX]

@IcyScythe I think it is meant to celebrate the last day of your freedom to fuck other women. :D

[keepiticy]

ok not to get deep in this but what if they are controlling the people in mass effect to think they are attractive i mean if they look like us wouldn't they think human girls are attractive also

plus u know the eater egg when u take the mystery drink and the bartender changes what if thats another hint JUST SAYING LOL

[Paellain]

"I don't understand! Humans celebrate wedding contracts by tempting infideluty? That makes no sense!" I will remember this phrase for all my life :P

[kingnahum17]

"You'll be doing shots out of her belly button later tonight..." =D

[Aracknia]

Okay... I'm not sure what's more random here, this moment in the game, which I haven't uncovered, or the comments for this video. Both are kinda even here...

[FateArcherr]

I respect the turians attitude... "Im just here for the drinks" :D

[anonymous133711]

so whos gonna pay for the drinks?

[rurik36]

I sense a great disturbance in the Force, as if hundreds of Liara fans cried out at once "Did... Did I just romance Cthulhu?"

[Aracknia]

@rurik36 That... is a very good question, but if the whole mind-control thing was true, what would an Asari look like to a blatantly gay man? Considering that a male Asari has never been seen, this may very well cause an incredibly interesting situation.

[Schism704]

@Aracknia i dont think there are male asari

[c0mbineelite]

"That can't be sanitary"

[quasar953]

That can't be sanitary.....BUT THE PRIZE.

[WowMe143]

hmmmmm

[luiekang]

"Calm down man! Don't embarrass me in front of the stripper!" :P

[MostlyWicked]

And only three dudes in the entire galaxy notice this after centuries of co-existence with the Asari and each other. Sure.

[mrhookimaw]

I'm just here for the vid!

[commandershadebetter]

Somebody is mad cuz he has a tiny dick

[tvtsue]

Meanwhile, stripper is mentally laughing at the conversation.

[moogle890]

"I'm just here for the drinks." At least he's honest about it.

[commandershadebetter]

@1maintoshclover Shutup faggot.

[commandershadebetter]

A shitty portrayal of aliens. You fail Bioware.

[MadMAn12gauge]

@commandershadebetter fuck off man, go watch your gay starwars you salty swallowing hippie

[dajman15]

@commandershadebetter

And I assume you have seen factual alien behaviour to be able to say that?

What a fucking retard!

[commandershadebetter]

@dajman15 Hey little baby retard.

[dajman15]

@commandershadebetter

Wow......The peanut-sized intellect of kids on the internet never ceases to amaze me!

[SteelFyire]

@dajman15 Calm down. It's obvious this guy hasn't heard of willing suspension of disbelief. It's very important if you want to like anything fictional.

[Crowster12781]

@commandershadebetter

Lol...wow...go have some sex kid...

[commandershadeishere]

@Crowster12781 Uh-huh, that's nice. Yes, you aren't fooling anyone. We all know you probably are the biggest virgin here.

[Crowster12781]

@commandershadeishere oh yup, you got me. I'm a virgin. such a virgin i have time to sit online and debate how aliens in reality act. excuse me now, i am going to have sex with my wife now. Now I am sure you will come up with some sixth grade retort but i guess you have time what with the not leaving your house and frequent bouts of chronic masterbation

[commandershadeishere]

@Crowster12781 Was that the story of your life? Sorry, didn't have time to give a shit about you in the last seven months.

[Cstyle12]

I'm just here for the drinks

[Drpissed]

"im just here for the drinks" - legenddd

[coldshoulder14]

There aren't ANY female turians in mass effect! YOU'RE SPECIES IS DOOMED! :D

[FlyingFocs]

@coldshoulder14 NOr are there female salarains, and female krogan are only mentioned.

Thank goodness for the asari, eh?

[TheYTViewer]

@1maintoshclover You humans are all sexist!

[TheYTViewer]

I smell sitcom~!

[heavnite]

A Salarian, Turian and Human walks into Afterlife.They sat near a table with a asari dancer dancing on the table.What did the Salarian say to the Human?

Salarian:My dick is getting harder.Wait.I don't have one.

Oh crap I forgot not to swear.

[ZKY2]

@TheDuke1993 They don't. They're all technically female.

[mzh3000]

I found it odd theyr mentioned but... You don't see any female krogans or any female turians but oyu see male and female humans and quarians have masks so you can't rlly see them and you only see female asari.

[Annihal101]

@mzh3000

Or female Salarians for that matter. And it is possible to differentiate genders for Quarians. They may have masks, but you can tell by their body, and the masks differ in design too. Also, females wear hoods, males don't.

[Ghost652]

@mzh3000 there is one female krogan on tuchanka

[mzh3000]

@Ghost652 You'r kidding? I guess ill go look if i play mass effect 1 and then replay 2 cause iv played it to much.

[gamingcultist]

@Ghost652 finally someone else noticed that

[Grant691]

Things like the Office happen 200 years in the future, and 10000 light years from the Earth.

[olsonaar000]

"What if they're mind controlling us?"

Asari: "Shit, the gig's up!"

*Asari Special forces break down the door and shoot everyone*

[noctrnlemishun]

human don't ruin asari!!! PLEASE!!

[Hylian100]

Who is paying for the drinks then? The Turian Councilor?

"Ah yes, "parties", the idea of a Salarian, a Human and a Turian gathering for drinks. We have dismissed that claim."

[fizzymcbonbon]

salarian's have the biggest penis evar

[khaotic0n3]

Best lines:

Turian: Okay, that makes my legs hurt just watching it, and my knees are meant to bend that way.

Turian: That can't be sanitary.

Human: Wait. You don't think they're, like, mind-controlling us to see them as attractive, do you?

LOL

[Karin1369]

I hope in part 3 those 3 guys made more college friends at work.

Hell a Vorcha, Krogan, Human, Salarian, Turian, Quarion, Elcor, Harar and Elchor bachelor party.

Everyone sharing their toughts on the stripper.

Turian goes for the drinks.

Shit be epic.

[hattrickster33]

Man mass effect 3 will be the best rpg ever it has more stuff like this!

[jumpman20772]

Nice.  By the way, does anyone know the name of the background music? It sounds awesome.

[gigglechainaffect874]

So this begs the question… how DO salarians reproduce? 

[hattrickster33]

@gigglechainaffect874 Hmm maybe oral?

[gigglechainaffect874]

@hattrickster33 I was thinking more like spawning like fish…but I guess anything is possible. XD

[hattrickster33]

@gigglechainaffect874 lol i would hate to be a salarian

[gigglechainaffect874]

@hattrickster33 I like salarians though. They're funny. :D

[hattrickster33]

@gigglechainaffect874 Yep, but I usually kill them

[gameguy20100]

@gigglechainaffect874 they lay eggs read the codex

[trapstarjohny]

NOT THE POINT MAN!!

[CPUgamecentral]

Ah, she is so...li-ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL

[elzo334]

@Ghakhull123 don't forget morlan, either...

[altfan]

Ha! ME2 can be hilarious. I don't remember the first one being this funny.

[Bac0neat3r]

Even the salarian guy can't resist haha.

[Rocketai]

Turian women?! Where?!? I need to see!!

[Phonix463]

"I'm just in here for the drinks".lol

[paydafee]

your gona be doing shots out of that tonight

that can't be sanitary

ROFL

[wardogs83]

I think the Asari look just like Turians.. JK XD

[WOLF777dude]

First time I listened in on the conversation, i couldn't stop laughing.

[9627122]

as long am not paying for the drinks jajajaja

[Shaslo]

This all makes sense now, the reason why only the asari are the dancers in a bar is because they take the form of the species who sees them!!! ASARI HYPNOTISM!! D: We gotta see krogan, turian, and salaran women in mass effect3, we HAVE to...

[SuperTyrant20]

now what man dont want a blue woman? XD

[agse10]

Come to think of it I've NEVER seen a turian woman

[Megahomsar]

I've never seen a krogan woman

[Gondorian04]

@agse10 that's down to the fact they haven't come up with a proper design for them, at the moment the only thing distinguishing them from males is shorter head spikes. in time we may see fully designed ones.

[Kongo1337]

I love the music at that club!

[Anfmethodjor]

the dog years is the most hilarious line in the game

[andalore1989]

haha Is The Salarian voiced by the same guy who does Raiden in MGS?

[zitted]

Lol Raiden's voice actor actually does a lot of voices in this game, he's Thane's son and the bartender in the club on the Citadel too

[mithrandir1988]

@zitted -.-

And there goes the spoiler...

[TheOmegaParadigm]

Humans: sexing up the galaxy one species at a time.

[DaUziel]

That's what we've always wanted: Go to interesting places and sleep with new people.

[TheOmegaParadigm]

Exactly. We've been doing so around our world since the dawn of our species, but have only recently started the mission to go into space, find new worlds and species, and sleep with their women since James T. Kirk pioneered the movement in the original Star Trek. William Shatner and Sean Connery are the manliest men alive.

[DaUziel]

Sean Connery? When did he sleep with an alien?

[TheOmegaParadigm]

Oh, he didn't. But he was infamous international super-spy James Bond, who has slept with as many women as he's killed faceless henchmen, a Spanish immortal warrior that trained Ian McCloud in Highlander, and even a dragon in Dragonheart. He was in a number of other awesome movies, so I think that his awesomeness is certainly up there, despite his lack of sexual interaction with an alien female.

[DaUziel]

Good point.

[h3lblad3]

What are you talking about? Connery sleeps with aliens constantly. He's our number 1 diplomat.

[oyxox]

Asari r the sexiest thing ever rawr.....^^

[Greenmarthy]

Theyr mind controling you to see them sexy .. haha

[oyxox]

hahah as long as they r sooo sexy i have no problem with that^^

[Greenmarthy]

haha yeh neither i have

[DrLiaraTSoni]

Asari are blue turians...

XDXDXD

[olstar18]

No they are blue Salarians!

[dawatchng]

no they are blue Humans!

[Klyern]

yup you got the whole thing xD, you should have also taped the turian quarian conversation next to it XD

[RvBravage]

... I love this game

[Flyingazzmunky]

I think the turian may have hit on something.We've never really actually seen any turian women. ???

[CynicalSavant]

@emeraldthechao174 a couple of krogan are talking about it on the citadel. one of them thinks they're hot, the other wonders how you're supposed to get a good grip when they're so "squishy"

[kingsofcomedy10]

is this in the citadel?

[chevezez]

@kingsofcomedy10 nah it's on ilium

[GAF1987]

prob huge, scaley and with humps

[giantWario]

Guys dont take this too seriously, this is really what Asari look like. You can see sculptures and hologram of Asari, you'd think someone would notice if they look different to every race. Hell, when the human started talking about her belly button, the other two saw it. Beside, I can see the point of the turian, they kinda look like them too...the salarian must be blind though.

[movieman1211]

@giantWario

They're commenting on different features. The body is much like a human's, the head fringe (as the turian puts it) is similar to turians, and I'm guessing the skin is similar to a Salarian's.

Still a hilarious conversation.

[Luciferus200581]

I think the Turian was kinda funny too, with his oneliners.

[BronxDragon]

See we all can get along....we just need hot women to dance erotically in front of us!

[Kainlarsen]

Strippers - bringing all races together in harmony.^_^

[Exist64]

@Kainlarsen lets try on the reaper^^

[tooyjfwn]

thats great writing :-P

[AJZulu]

LOOOOOOLLLLLLLLL

The Salarian is AWSOME!!!

[evildeadjedimaster]

Bioware needs to make a Seinfeld-type series with these three guys.

[Rocketai]

@evildeadjedimaster

Goodness, Iol'd at that comment and I totally agree with you.

[LuciencesDeath]

HAHAHAHAHA this so fucking hilarious. the best part is the whole time their having their dumbass drunken conversations the stripper just sits there dancing away!!!! course shes probably heard wierder

[icedragon225]

Wow.... thats... interesting...

[thegrimreaperxiii13]

asari babies come out asari no matter what just with different dna

[slayer66616]

Imagine how painfull the birth would be if they do it like humans. I mean those krogan and turians have too much pointy edges.

[slayer66616]

People are taking theories of 3 drunken males quite seriosly : D

[CashClock]

Guys, this was a joke by Bioware, it doesn't have anything to do with the backstory of the game.

If they looked different than Humans, then they wouldn't look like that when there dead.

[karanto1]

Wait so if the asari do that does that mean we see them as shephard would.

[manwiththemachinegun]

That's Quinton Flynn as the Salarian I think.

[GAF1987]

RAAAIIIDEEENNN!!!

[Fa6ade]

"Everybody likes the Asari. Everybody."

Can't argue with that.

[dun3SNAK3]

"...I'm just here for the drinks..."

Now thats a turian for ya

[Raz0rking]

that sushi bar thing isnt bad either^^

[synth77]

i feel if i watch any more vids on mass effect im gona rune the fun for my self when i can get it

[jeffzalonka]

you will. go get it and play it.

[TheAussie00]

@synth77

Yeah you basically ruined the funniest part. It has more value when you just happen by it.

[Valbruch]

lol, loved the vid

[wolfzero85]

lol this game just rocks

[Mcree114]

So a Human, a Turian, & a Salarian walk into a bar.....

*salarian pops out of a vase* "What you guys talkin bout?"

Oh...umm...nothing...just telling a joke...

...So they walk into a bar, tip the bartender and couldnt have been more courteous....yeah.

[danjal87nl]

A salarian, a turian and a human are sitting in a bar....

The salarian says~

[ThijsVisser122]

You see that bit there

- The little divit in her abdomen?

It's called a belly button, and you're going to be doing shots out of it later tonight.

- That can't be sanitary.

[LordSovereign7]

A salarian, turian, and human walk into a bar, the krogan ducks

lol

[h3lblad3]

A Salarian, Turian, and Human walk into a bar. The Krogan breaks it because it was in the way.

:D

[DasBurka]

@h3lblad3 Oh god... this is a case of so bad its good.

[hotcarl84]

The salarian is the sterotypical jew

[DarthClam]

lmao "aren't salarian years like dog years? ok now THAT's offensive..."

i love bioware

[Xantios]

The Citadel Council at the table. Interesting....

[theslo1]

Why is this creep standing there listening to us

[LordSovereign7]

that would be trippy if all Asari appeared differently in the eyes of the races. Like as in they have no definite form, it is completely different for every indivisual. might be possible

[LazorJunkieninja]

That would make the elcore pretty retarded

[SpartanG062]

"My word... she is very... limber."

XD

[theknack101]

pretty awsome

[scionwolf1]

lol as long as I'm not paying for the drinks

[jfh06d]

im just here for the drinks

[JackContraband]

I think the salarian is voiced by Quinton Flynn. He voices many random people in game. Btw, he plays Raiden in the MGS series.

[supervegito2277]

Me too, and be4 you start reminding me more of digimon Steven Blum also jave a role, but this one is funny, annnd a little bit dirty hehe

[Idonthaveanamelol]

I've heard the humans voice before... but I can't quite place it. Its from some anime dub.

[supervegito2277]

Digimon Data Squad Marcus Daemon atleast, if jackcontraband is right about quintonn flynn. Besides he also have a minor role in naruto as well.

[cheese4g]

... Wait... do we ever see a female Turian? I'm having a hard time picturing one talking with a female voice.

[gongolong]

@cheese4g same with krogan, salarian, batarians, drell, and most other species except for human and asari, hmm, where are the females lol

[efrulz32]

YOu do see a female krogan, but she's dead and in a body bag....

[gongolong]

@efrulz32 my point exactly lol

[theknack101]

I think there is one in the krogan town.

It might just be a male with a high pitched voice. He/She was talking about respecting the female krogans or something.

Was dressed in white I believe( possibly with pink too. Cant remeber

[DEFkon001]

Well since all Turians are forced to smoke 10 to 20 packs of cigarets at birth... I think a female Turian would sound like the two cigaret smoking older sisters of Marge on "The Simpsons". Patty and Selma. lol

[supervegito2277]

OMG i just say the simpsons episode today, where selma is marrying siddeshow bob. That was really disguisting

[19andoverlol]

I'm just here for the drinks.

[JujitsuDon]

Hehe! This is funny. I like the banter among them, and then the stubborn guy finally submits and enjoy himself.