Peep Show S03E05 P01

[kparker1145]

"Saying I love you, is like firing first in a duel! If you miss you're fucked!" lol Brilliant!

[the2crowrox]

"She's white". Oh god, that's perfect...

[jdolla351]

That analogy of saying "I love you" first being like firing first in a duel is spot on

[gamingdonnie]

babybluewaffle5

[gamingdonnie]

Jeff is such a fucking cocksucker

[exutu]

"Jeremey can't be trustet to judge the woman he is sleeping with but... Tony Blair can" Haha

[Dixonag]

hahaha "I'm the only one who isnt angry, im horny! thats much better.."

[Dixonag]

man i hate geoff,,,

[TheSpareohs]

I've been feeling so horrible for the past couple of weeks and finding/watching this is legitimately making me feel better. Peep Show is all kinds of fabulous.

[MatiasSeraBaterista]

The law of social niceness, BRILLIANT!

[ChainReaction666]

9 people eat Frosties and can't face reality...

[thomas01001]

JULIUS NICHOLSON!!!!

[mrleedra]

@thomas01001 The big baldy ballbag!

[MySadCaptain]

"That's like firing first in a dual. If you miss, you're fucked." I very much like how David Mitchell says "fuck."

[lockeyourcock]

I'd love to buy a wank in a packet.

[methodandmadness]

''against the law of... social... niceness!''

[UtopiaMinor666]

Colonel Gadaffi cant lay down anything anymore lol

[Xenolinguistica]

@UtopiaMinor666 he's laying down, though.

[Yodanigger]

Well, colonel gadafi certainly can't do that now...

[ChocolateFlux]

"Frosties are just cornflakes for people who can't face reality". That made me laugh so fucking hard :D

[marcvanholden]

hey i got an idea....if u dont want to read the comments...

DONT READ THEM!!!! dont scroll down and dont read...its as simple as that.

[UtopiaMinor666]

is it sad that ive wondered what jez and mark would say an do while all these london riots have been going on?

[ant1lg]

This isn't wrong, just..illegal

[eedobee]

i quote rape

[EmmaGnillot]

ha! let's have a sheperd's pie and dogging party! xD or not.

[s4204950]

babyblu8face is a legend

[MrYuri188]

Wow, Gaddafi's law. I bet Gaddafi is laying down more than a base hook now!

[gumbyistella]

this isn't wrong this is illegal just like drink driving!

[SecondsToLast]

Well, the solitaire line was depressing...seeing as I was doing it in the other window when he said it...

[fpm335]

Im in twelve angry men.. Im the only who isnt angry... Im horny, thats much nicer.

[LFZ15]

I'm horny. That's much nicer.

[Redler22]

There's a mistake at 3:08 - from Alan's POV you can see his own head in the top left corner.

[olliemad]

haa man the opening to this is great, such a start. frosterys are for people who cant face reality and crunchy nut are corn flakes for wankers. ive certainly used them a few times.

[LeeJHooker]

I think Jez' Law Of Niceness should be introduced to Norway. The only place in the world where its completely normal to work in the same office with people for 3 years and nobody acknowledges the other with so much as a good morning or a hello!!

[komodospider]

@LeeJHooker

You obviously haven't been to Sweden ;)

[indigocrush]

@LeeJHooker I think my boss is from Norway.

[WorldsGreatestPerson]

"Colonel Qadafi could not lay down a bass hook Mark, that should be clear, even to YOU"

[oal1976]

This isn't wrong, just illegal, like drink driving

[Zerojquan]

i'm the only one whos not angry... i'm horny.. lol.. 

[MrSporkster]

"The spiky balls on the end of my stick!"

:D

[WardancerHB]

They should build a religion based on that musicians law...!

[Virus278]

@WardancerHB There is. it's called Satanism.

[pceluvNdorkyness]

Jez's laugh is strange lol

[elwood180]

I am fucking in love with big Suze.

[Mountdark]

He totally should bang Big Suze....

[belisariusorb]

Carla's accent: she's a Geordie, from Newcastle. If you want to read some funny stuff in this dialect, try VIZ magazine

[iamqqqqqqq]

@belisariusorb Let'showaydoonthabooza, foreyagannenhyem!

[belisariusorb]

@iamqqqqqqq = Let's go down the pub before you go home...?

[sivvyx01]

..."because your critical faculties...well i dont mean to be rude..." heeeheee

[wrighthanes]

Northeast, probably Newcastle

[keltonbell123]

Sounds Welsh.

[callofyourbooty]

@mahound and @Homerjay66666: she's from Newcastle, shes a Geordie.

[mahound9]

What is Carla's accent? I can't place it. I'm a Canadian fan of British TV. Is that a Lincoln accent?

[Homerjay66666]

@mahound9: It sounds a bit like Scottish to me, but I'm Norwegian, so I don't really know. I haven't heard the Lincoln accent though, so you might be right for all I know. Maybe someone else can give you a better answer...

[Fishlights]

horny>anrgy

[Aaronnyc89]

I'm in twelve angry men, I'm the one thats not angry. I'm horny, thats much nicer!

[WKaliberr]

best.show.ever

[iamqqqqqqq]

The spikey balls - on the end of my STICK, yeah?

[SomaLFM]

"Frosties are just cornflakes for people who cant face reality"

[tekqist28]

johnson is limber...xD

[rols92]

johnson would be the coolest mate. you feel safe when hes on screen

[SlapperMcBride]

"Have you told her you love her?"

"Are you kidding? That's like firing first in a duel - If you miss, you're fucked!"

[rabidguytricksyo]

you may have won this.You may owe us this. Brilliant. You just can't hate Jez.

[msfsaint]

-Frostys is just corn flakes for people who can't face reality

-Anything from Soph?

-She's been very very busy, far too busy for post

[chimpanzeesteaparty]

stealing a ... BUN

[JongeMatador]

"Colonel Gaddaffi couldn't lay down a bass hook, Mark! That should be clear even to you!"

Timeless.

[72master]

no it is the Bart Simpson law he had a whole episode on it all of Springfield went Bart

[MartinGimnaes]

Jez has such a sick laugh.

[Unwardil]

This isn't wrong... Just... Illegal.

[Yedaddy1234]

"I answer to a higher law! If it feels good, then do it!"

Ahahahahahah!

[puzokutya]

I could never say no to Johnson.

I want to be his puppy!!!!!

[TdrdenCO11]

Typical, Jeremy can't be trusted to judge the woman he's sleeping with but.. TONY BLAIR CAN YEAH? brilliant

[veitchy88]

"Oh sure, its on her majestys service, deliviered by the royal mail. Its probably an invitation to another one of Princess Anne's shepards pie and dogging parties."

I love Jez' non-sequiter rants. Those off the cuff comments that seem unrelated to whats actualy going on (in reality).

[sarah2853]

im from new zealand and i don't know slangs like 'shifty' or 'cooky' or 'sappy'.. is this normal??? are these very british terminologies?

[noticketsonme]

No. American.

[TheGreenPlague]

? No these are not American terminologies. I wish we could stop assuming we know what other countries rhetoric is entirely composed of. I've lived in the U.S.A. my entire life and never heard of any of these slang words.

[goodbyeberet]

Haven't heard 'cooky' before, but here in Ostraya we 'shifty' and 'sappy' . Reminds me when I had to explain 'dodgy' to an American exchange student.

[sarah2853]

"u still don't understand what happened in oceans 11 don't u?'

[aussienick1993]

Jeramy: have you told her you love her?

Mark: are you kidding?Thats like firing first in a dual, If you miss your fucked!

classic line

[dumpel]

sara lee is some kind of desert?

When I check their site, they have a lot of products

[Layla079]

It has many different deserts but is basically ice cream or at least that is what Mark means . He really likes Sara lee ice cream

[lexiLAWL]

i love the first scene :L

'Crunchy Nut Cornflakes is just frosties for wankers :L' << agrees

i love the bit about how Mark says Jeremy isnt very logical, 'You still don't know what happened in Oceans 11'

'its a very complicated film'

It really isnt'. Its not very complicated, in my opinon :L

[Keiichichanisback]

"what about that judge?"

"Oh yeah! He's so judgemental!"

[kurt33333]

Anyone know what the text says at 7:31?

[colombo83]

Gaddaffi's law!! lol!!

[chazzyboy25]

I might be more relaxed if we both regarded my penis as a novelty item.

[soundslikegreen]

Or maybe just play solitaire for 3 or 4 hours."

This isn't wrong, just illegal like drink driving"

Kiss in a tube, wank in a packet"

[shasaki1]

wank in a packet

[TheHillsHaveEyeBrows]

you may have won this, you may owe us that :D

[MarkRisley1]

the law of social... niceness! lol

[callummunkycult]

one of the best episodes.

[Matmerismo]

Ohhh I'm the foreman, I'm the foreman. Only I get to talk to the judge... Fuck youuuuuu

Lol classic, just classic.

Peep Show, fav sitcom of all time :)

[GlennYule]

neone seen magicians with mitchell and webb? just realised that the foreman of the jury is the hilarious stooge guy that trips up and knocks himself out lol "who..me? i cant believe it!" lol

[jengib81]

"All i need now is a kiss in a tube and a wank in a packet" - Great stuff, Love it

[parapligikaAE]

What's with the Sarah Lee all the time? lol

[jengib81]

It's the best choccie cake on the planet . . . mmmmm

[missashleighjessica]

johnson is nothing like david brent : /

[LauyPauy]

yeah she's geordie

[parapligikaAE]

Could someone tell me, according to the woman's accent from which part of Britain might she be?

Just curious, I mean the one who is the convict in the credit card fraud thing.

Thanks!

[DonLoganUK]

she sounds like a geordie.north east england

[parapligikaAE]

Thank you! :-)

[jakedogz]

newp, she's not a geordie, she's a maccam, from sunderland.

although there's only a river between newcastle and sunderland.

[tselspa]

But there is a world of differance between them :D

[jakedogz]

indeeeeeeeed. not that i'd know, being mancunian lol

[ofxxxthexxxflowers]

i'm not angry, I'm horny! that's much nicer.

[GeorgePercival2008]

SHES WHITE

[afromike123]

haha that was awesome!

[kieron858]

lmfao i killed myself lauighing at that too, a tip, watch peep show pissed its literally twice as funny

[epiphany55]

Johnson reminds me of a black David Brent for some reason...

[ardiar2011]

"It's a complicated film!"

"It *really* isn't"

[Glozboy22]

My sister got a summons for jury service this week, I reacted in exactly the same way as Mark!

[bellebrett]

Love what Jez thinks of the jury foreman.

[Oscar301]

These monkeys keep saying STOP QUOTING obviously don't like Peep Show. If you love something, you tell the fuckin world!

[peppercorns207]

@Oscar301 No, it's just absolutely fucking pointless writing quotes from a video directly underneath the video when we've all just watched it or are currently watching it, reading spoiling quotes at the same time and some people choose, futilely, to attempt to point out to morons with more keyboards than brain cells that what they are doing is not clever and adds nothing whatsoever to the joke.

[voxlashi]

@peppercorns207 So tell me, what would be the alternative subject of debate outside the quotations from the show? What would be left if all comments quoting the show or comments on quoting the show were removed? I think most people would be able to handle the comment section being closed on the PS vids, but you're really making a problem where there isn't one. It's a quotable show - deal with it.

[peppercorns207]

@peppercorns207 I don't think it's a problem that people quote the show on here (apart from when it spoils the joke or gives away the story before it's happened), I just said that it was pointless; yes it's a quotable show, but maybe if people want to quote it, maybe they should do so in real-life when an appropriate situation arises, thus adding to the joke by putting a different spin on it, rather than just spitting it out in text with no context other than the fact that we all just watched it

[juniwilliams]

@peppercorns207 i think the monumental question is why people read the comments before they watch any part of the show. Its a forum, and people like to share and discuss their best bits, even if it was merely a comment. It is not as inane as you make it seem. Now, when people tamper with the quotes, that's another issue.

[MAKootage]

@Oscar301 no just stop ruining the best lines. just stop it.

[rossgall1]

Ha I've had managers like Johnston, Talking about thinking outside boxes and circles in squares it's so true and funny.

[Mick342]

The spikey Balls On the End of My stick"

God I Love Johnston I Totaly See What Mark Saw In Him......No Realy I Do.

[Mick342]

" Wank In A Packet"

JESUS I WANT A WANK IN A PACKET!!!!!!

Yeah a Wank Packet,

Sounds Great,

[adDWH]

i wish i had a little tele and frosties.

[flagga]

If it ruins it for you, don't read the comments you fucking idiot

[braindamagehurts4]

im tempted to type out the enire script for this part 2 piss off everyone but i cant be bothered

[guitardude545454]

STOP READING THE COMMENTS!!

[litlemadguitarist]

@guitardude545454 lol 51 people read this and agreed although they didnt decide "not to read the comments" themselves! XD

[BlakM0nkey]

@guitardude545454 I don't read them, neither yours :D

[coffeebean86]

"the musician's law" ha haha

[Valefore6447]

"This isn't wrong, it's just illegal, like drink driving...." LMAO, dear this show is fuckin funny

[philipspilihp]

that's against the law - the law of social niceness lol

[wheredoescouragecome]

"Oh that is so typical: Jeremy can't be expected to judge the woman he's sleeping with but.... TONY BLAIR can!"

"Colonel Qadafi could not lay down a bass hook, Mark. That should be clear, even to you.... GOD!"

Too many fucking lines in one third of one episode.

[Calyx540]

SOPHIE! THE SOPHSTA! SOPHESTRY!

[GaryLDN]

this isnt wrong just ilegal,,,, like ... drink driving lol

[wiggy77]

lmao when johnson puts his leg on the table

[oliminator2]

what about that judge though eh?

Oh GOD yeah hes so judgemental, i rule this, i rule that! LOLLAGE

[djraph007]

johnsons leg on table haha

[Pimp141414]

arnt you gona open your post? Nah its boring, you may of won that or you o me this. LMAO LOVE HIS ATITUDE

[MUNKYBZ]

I'm not angry, I'm horny. That's much better.

[0m12]

Argh, I have to know, what's a Sara Lee? So many references to it throughout the series.

[yelkcubleahcim]

I'm pretty sure its a massive cake,or a brand of cake,it definitely belongs to the cake family...

[0m12]

Ah yeah, they do show us them eating something vaguely chocolatey in the first series, thanks

[jsmith2470]

sara lee is a company that makes frozen foods and desserts, you know, dinner for one style.

[mickbelfast]

"thats like firing first in a duel.. miss your fucked " hahaha classic

[concretejungle79]

Gadaffi's law.

[Chully109]

thanks babyblue for uploading all these episodes! x

[sparkyinbath]

this isn't wrong, just illegal. like drink driving.

[lalala1234123]

one of princess annes shepards pie and dogging parties lol!!!!

[IPutTheMeInShame]

Frosties are cornflakes for people who can't face reality

[6minus3minus2]

Damn I love Johnson.

[jim6400]

i like these comments i read them when it all gets a bit too cringy!

[saveferris606]

lol. I do exactly the same thing, i really cant take sometimes.

[nastyevilbunny]

Same here. Theres so much contact embarrassment's in this show.

[OCquattro]

hahahaha a wank in a packet!! That is hilarious.

[willjmckee]

"this isnt wrong ... just illegal - like drink driving..."

[zerosis]

"It's like firing first in a duel... if you miss, you're fucked!"

I just got a new phrase to use, haha

[jaredw007]

"This isn't wrong, just...illegal." HAHA

[rkent06]

i love johnson so much! the way he says dickhead had me crying

[jamierourketen]

johnson is a black swiss tony.

[pez31]

"Sophie! The Sophter! Sophestry!" xD

[nednick06]

"stealing a...Bun"

[euanmac01]

i love jez's laugh 7.30

[Jay2Oh]

i know lmao i just noticed that, sounds like the penguin out of batman lol

[jukejuk]

this isnt wrong,, just illegal

[zerosis]

like.... drink driving

[hazahaxa]

and child rape

[lykaris]

wank in a packet

[Oli3TB76]

'thats against the law, the law of social niceness' LMAO

[vitalogy]

Haha he's watching Arrival from Cybertron!

[Ross0723]

i have just recently done jury service and all i could think during it was Jeremy and his saying " Ooo im the foreman, im the foreman, only i get to talk to the judge, yeh well fuck you " hahahahaha. i thort this and laughed during the case i was on. Whoooops :P hehehe