Be A Good Girl

[frio109]

Zarbod the Select. The rumour is Paris Hilton will get custody of Britney's Children. Paris's parenting skill's include the psychology. AS rumor travels it becomes shorter, more concise and easier to grasp and hold. The children will be renamed Rumor 1, Rumor 2 and Rumor 3. Frio, First Science Officer.

[yesjaide]

Your vocal vibrations are very soothing to me. A babe, rather than a baby ;)

[Zarbod]

Yes, people often find it soothing. Soon you'll be coming back. Then you'll start getting unexplainable urges to do things which you never wanted before...like send me money. Just go with it.

[yesjaide]

Seeing as how I've already sent Christopher Mast money, and Consumatron also, I'd say it doesn't have as much to do with the soothing as with the stroking.

Ahem.

[Zarbod]

That darn Christopher Mast! Rrgg.

[yesjaide]

I apologize for YT thinking my comments are so amazing that they have to come twice.

Thppt.

[YGYGYGYGYGYGYGYGYGYG]

LOL

[jantheempress]

You do great works Zarbod!

[jantheempress]

Good idea Zarbod. Perhaps you could share the deep meaningful lyrics of his songs.

[Zarbod]

I just thought it was interesting that it was sung by Blair from The Facts of Life. She was up for a Grammy for this album. The song talks about the struggle between a teen girl and her parents urging her to be a good girl.

[jantheempress]

I wouldn't let K Fed feed my fish without supervision either! But at least he remembers his underwear!!

[Zarbod]

What's scariest is that he's the most responsible person in the whole equation! I"ll have to vlog about it.

[MrTsBastardChild]

Parenting tips.... for parents?!

[Zarbod]

Pretty good thinking, huh?

[cosahermosa0]

why be a good girl??...i have no idea

[Zarbod]

Neither do I!

[frio109]

Zarbod, the Select, Does that mean you are to pick up Britney for a 20 to 30 minute "drive"?

I understand that in Killen, Texas (Fort Hood). Earth women rent out their bodies by riding in taxis's. You pay the taxi driver and go for a 'ride'. Frio, First Science Officer.

[Zarbod]

Well, I've had women take me for a ride before but not like that.

[frio109]

Zarbod, the Select, It actually quickens examination procedures. These Earth Humans Women like material made from their tree's called "money". They will gladly voluteer for sciencetifically examinations for exchange of "money". If you got to AVE. D in Killeen, Texas to the Taxi cab stand across from the Greyhound Bus station, it is easy to arrange a "drive". Frio, First Science Officer.

[Zarbod]

Well I"ve not heard of this "money" thing you speak of. But let me get this straight. Women tolerate unpleasant probing in exchange for little pieces of tree? That sounds a little hard to believe. I can't imagine women ever whore themselves out like that.

[frio109]

Zarbod, the Select. The probing is actually usually a "turn on" for these Human Earth Women. It appears they loved to be "probed".

These Human Earth Women are programmed for fecundity and this is achieved by "probing" them. Frio, First Science Officer.

[Zarbod]

All the one's I've dealt with seem very disinterested in it. Maybe it's just me.

[frio109]

Zarbod, the Select. Prehaps its the tree piece's called "money". Maybe next time, you should wave some tree pieces at them from your tree. See if their reaction is more receptive. Frio, First Science Officer.

[Willowthebluefairy]

I likes yur parentin skills very much i finks yur very skilled for a non spawner. You shud do more books on dis subjek

[caseyjolalala]

lol

[magalator]

hilarious

[Zarbod]

Thanks Magalator

[ladypn]

LOL Phrenology.

[LucyShy]

Apparently Britney is newly available for babysitting, I saw a flyer in the bus shelter. Broke-ass popstars rates are crazy cheap these days!

Lohan only charges a mickey a day!

[Zarbod]

Those seem like reasonable rates. But I'm holding out hope that Lindsey is going to straighten out! We'll see.

[Bobofet241]

The first 18? Try 25. Non spawning? you lucky Bas.......Alien you. Now you know why some animals eat their young.

[Zarbod]

Have you tried showing them the door? Sometimes offspring are so overwelmed with love that they forget that there is a door to the house. But what do I know?

[Bobofet241]

Tried that but it didn't work,sigh.

[distorteddogma]

Blair?

Be Well.

[Zarbod]

Blair sang the theme song. The album was actually up for a Grammy. Hit #17 on the CCM charts. Now she's married to a preacher and home schools 3 kids. Such a nice lady and totally unlike her character.

[MartySchrader]

The judge gave the kids to K-Fed? Isn't that cruel and unusual punishment, particularly for the meager crime of having been born to the wrong parents? You would think the judge could figure out some alternative parents. A pack of wolves or something.

[Zarbod]

Ah, fate is such a cruel mistress sometimes. I would have voted for teh pack of wolves.

[IAmNotStevenColbert]

Z you have issues.

[Zarbod]

Don't we all?

[dontheman17]

Cool video.

Do people still say cool.

Oh I'm dating myself again.

Doh...

[Zarbod]

No problem. That's totally Rad of you. Groovy to the max! I mean I do try to not be a square so, we're cool Daddy O

[dontheman17]

Oh rad.

Cool man...

[rainygirl7]

hahaha that's to funny you should hire a baby sitter to watch the baby!!! hehe!!

[Zarbod]

Just watching out for the kiddos!

[bwings]

congrats on the honors :D

[Zarbod]

Finally, my life is meaningful!

[bwings]

lol you must have had some honors before I'm sure :p

[Zarbod]

Um. Kinda. Check out my video "Fun Places to Visit". It's the one with Paris Hilton looking naughty. It wasn't ever featured but it was #1 in all the land for abot 6 hours. Got 342,000 hits that day.

[bwings]

WOW!

[ghorty]

So what is up with the splice in the begining of Lisa?

[Zarbod]

Oh, she sang the theme song. Pretty amazing. Not that she sang a song but it's amazing that she was up for a Grammy for that piece of work.

She was in the Meltdown video by Steve Taylor back then.

[Faerie75]

I'd let the baby drive the car... I mean, kids are way more mature nowadays...

[Zarbod]

I know. My 3 year old nephew has already been through rehab twice. He picked up some bad habits back when he was a Marine.

[Dog480]

If you can't find a sitter, think super glue.  It takes hours for babies to work themselves loose from the floor.

[Zarbod]

The floor? That's not very creative. Try the ceiling. They lose the motivation to work themselves free.

[aslipperyslope]

Why didn't I think of that? Utilitarian AND decorative! (slaps already sloped forehead)

[aslipperyslope]

Babysitter? That's what dogs are for; get a real protective one like a Pit Bull & no worries! Hey, nice Fedora but the beret is You!

[Zarbod]

Good idea. I can't see how that could backfire on me at all.

[LouRyder]

Does Zarbod have any baby aliens at home?

[Zarbod]

Nope. I'm a "Non-Spawner". That's probably for the best.

[ddlsr]

Have you ever considered using children to attract women? Human females love babies, and nothing breaks the ice like a stinky diaper or a gob of baby puke. If you're interested, I have a couple of kids you could rent for an hour or two. My rates are quite reasonable.

[Zarbod]

That's a great idea. It would work better than dogs. Last time I tried that all I got was a yellow leg.

Can I get a discount on the kid if it's for a full weekend?

[ddlsr]

Sorry, no weekend discounts. That's when they're in highest demand.  But if you take a baby or toddler for full price you can have a grade-schooler at half price.

[juicr500]

"before you leave....hire a babysitter"

That was sweet.

[Zarbod]

Very important. It's just part of being a good parent. I guess.

[CrusinClassic]

Good idea. But my kids are grown now. Hummmm.. Maybe I could have more and try that out.

[Zarbod]

It's never too late.

[Rowdyeh]

Just looking at you I can tell phrenology would be a good thing to specialize in! Perhaps you could check the lumps on Britney's head too?

[Zarbod]

I would expect that from someone with your phrenological configuration. :)

[Rowdyeh]

Yeh, my lumps are in the right place!

[ddlsr]

Isn't phrenology based on the idea that all of your personality traits are derived from the number of times you were dropped on your head as a baby?  (Modified, of course, by the angle of impact, acceleration attained during the fall, elasticity of the impacted surface, etc.)

[Rowdyeh]

We all fall over as children so who know which lumps remain for future anthropologists to ponder? Does it count how many times your wife whacked you on the head with a frypan?

[Zarbod]

Frying pans don't count. Only griddles. Harder you know.

[Zarbod]

Yep. The onyl thing that matters though is what measure of elasticity your head has. Cause if you slide from elastic to plastic deformation..you're in real trouble.

[TSCIE]

Excellent!

[SplatteredRoadkill]

Zarbod is god. I love you Zarbod!

In your next video, will you write me a poem?

[Zarbod]

Write you a poem. Hmm. I could do that but instead I made a video in honor of all women (You're a chick right?). So in a sense, it's all in your honor.

[SplatteredRoadkill]

You think a chick would have the nickname "SplatteredRoadkill"? I think not. I am male thankyouverymuch

[Zarbod]

Oh. Well I don't usually write poems for dudes but you're from Norway, so I'll let it slide.

[SplatteredRoadkill]

WOW Cool! And btw I'm not gay so no love poem alright. :-)

[Zarbod]

Uh, yeah. Don't worry I wasn't going there.

[ALIENstupid]

3 comment

[Zarbod]

You rock!

[thegatetube]

Ah....oh so predictable...but funny.

So Z do you have a brother or sister?

[Zarbod]

I knew you were going to say that.

Yep. At least one of each.

[Blargaldalien]

I thought they were clones?

[Zarbod]

No but they did come from a womb with a view.

[Blargaldalien]

Ahhh.test tube factory z-10978DS.

Such fond mammeries there...

[Zarbod]

like that song says "....thanks for the mammaries.."

[cybercab]

Good point!

[Zarbod]

Just trying to help.