Perfect Excuses

[WeAllLoveHomeVideos]

Whenever I'm in a situation I don't want to be in, I shout "TROLL IN THE DUNGEON" and pass out on the floor.

[SuperShowtimeGirl]

My friend always says "I Try." Whenever someone compliments her! it's actually really funny the way she says it....

[theteenreads]

nobodys perfect hahaha

[TheAwesomenessOfUs]

Im on a mission set by dumbledore...

[MsGerascophobia]

I love this!

[butterflyinwinter]

"I'm on a mission from God."

And "42". Say it as if it's the most natural thing in the world, and then walk away. It WORKS.

[unforgettable789]

"Oh, I don't know, maybe Lord Voldemort."

[Usasati]

Something weird happens-

"It must be the work of SORCERY."

[loopiesounds2]

my medication hasn't kicked in yet (no offence meant)

[xTheEmilyx]

"what do ya want from me?"

[TribuneWayrocket]

Four words: I lost a bet. This is a free pass to get away with anything as long as you can back it up with a mildly believable lie. Decided to wear an odd bit of clothing to see if you can pull it off? No problem, if it goes wrong just say that you lost a bet! Violently murder everybody in a small town? Well officer I lost a bet and it would have been dishonest not to do it once I had already committed!

[12345aaron10]

@hayleyghoover because I'm awesome

[strangecharm7]

you sort of just made my life

[Obliviouslily]

'Yeah, well, that's just like...ahm...your opinion, man' from The Big Lebowski goes with pretty much every situation.

[devakithedevil]

adjusting is the best medicine

[RaincloudPlay]

Haha, I do not know anything about pop culture. No wonder I have no friends...

[LoganTheUltimate]

Sorry for Party Rockin

[thisisnotHolly]

My life revolves around using references, quotes and memes in everyday conversation and have absolutely no one understand what I mean.

[coldasackgirls]

"NOPE, chuck testa!"

[allisonwonderrand]

I quote Arrested Development far too often. Whenever something cool happens, we all yell "STEVE HOLT."

[nellmenefeelibey]

If someone makes fun of something I'm wearing, I usually say " I wear a (insert name of embarrassing article of clothing here) now, (article of clothing, plural) are cool."

If someone complains about not having any cash, I say "There's always money in the banana stand."

I've also been known to quote Michelle from Full House whenever someone does something mean: "How rude!"

The last one's kind of embarrassing, now that I think about it.

[mvapj]

Sometimes my friends and I use random words in Spanish we can think of. Mostly 'No Me Gusta' and the song that Dora sings when she's going somewhere.

[randomgal1322]

"whatever tickles your peach" from icarly.

because 14 and 15 year olds are supposed to watch young stuff like that...

[TheHassebrock]

Someone calls you weird or something, you say.... "I'm just a sweet transvestite!" [If none of you get the reference (which I doubt you will, but still), then that's really sad]

[Hollymim]

When someone says they're hungry I ask, "Like a wolf?"

[Mewfan]

every day I'm [insertwordwhichisusuallyreall­ylonghere]

[iwannadrinkacupoftea]

@Mewfan ...shuffling ?

[Fl4dd3rm0uz]

on my home planet that's normal.

[vaajpiens]

:megusta:

[CaseyHasThoughts]

Pants are an illusion.

[RomanticRaine]

I always use one I heard from House:

When someone asks you what you're thinking about, don't miss a beat and say "Fjords" as if it was the only logical thing in the world you could be thinking about.

[thephantombutterfly6]

@RomanticRaine i'm gonna have to remember that...

[jofijn]

I clapped my hands laughing

[Wayums]

My excuse is always "I'm the Doctor"

[whovian970]

Whenever somebody has a problem, i just tell them to believe in themselves, then we can all live to gether and work as a team!

[SpartanStig117]

i finally get the swan queen reference haha my gf made me watch Black swan

[esmeraldacam]

This is the last time.... best excuse ever... and I got it from a song that everyone forgot already or probably didnt even know to begin with

[XannyLikesPenguins]

My friends and I actually have one. There's an episode of Family Guy where the last line if the episode, after Chris told a deep story, Stewie fills in the awkward silence by saying "I flew today". We've used it frequently over the past year.

[JessieLightyear]

*telling story telling story, story gets lame* "And then I found $5 THE END!"

[kk90498]

I just flip the bird..... does tht not count. ?

[catinthehathat]

"so i threw it on the ground!" lonely island

"are you referring to alchemy?" from the office

or

"i never said i was a role model..." natalie portman rap

basically those work with anything.

[accioboooks]

Thats what you get when you're born an untameable swan queen.

[Alexjr1543]

You're already too late. The Nostalgia Critic has already given us "I was FROZEN today!"

[skrich2]

"I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN!" was yelled on the Simpons forever ago, in 1993, after she drank the toxic water on the "Small World" ride. I thought it was funny. Lisa was referencing Jim Morrison's poems Celebration of the Lizard. I think that I would give mad props to any girl who just yelled that out.

[katybug1020]

When someone accidentally bumps into my chair or knocks my papers off my desk I yell "This is an 81 Honda! HOW DARE YOU!!" from Employee of the Month..

[NekoMimi03]

Card games on motorcycles.

because it doesn't. :D at all

[frozenflipfliops]

when some one asks what time is it i go SUMMER TIME! (its our vacation) hsm any one :D yeah ik i hate it too or say must be nine in the afternoon because holy crap your eyes are the size of the moon :0

[voollyball]

hahhahahahaha this is hilarious!

[d00d00bird]

I HAVE DIARHEA. yes im very ticklish.

[victorialoveNL]

IT BURNS!!! from she's the man.

[SweetheartMorada]

My brother and I have started singing "How could this happen to me" anytime anything minorly unfortunate happens. Stub your toe, can't find your sunglasses, lose a life playing video games...

I think the rest of our family stopped finding it funny long ago. Oh well.

[nessaholichu]

Hahaha, I'm in love with this vide...

I'M THE SWAN QUEEN! LOLz....

[mrreviews1995]

Hey here is an idea SHUT UP!!! how dare you disrespect a very emotional and dramatic line from one of the greatest masterpieces ever in cinema HISTORY. By tusing it as a "quotable line" that is tossed around on a daily bases as a not funny JOKE!. You are a very anoying person and lets not be close minded here you might just be anoying on camera.

[d00d00bird]

@mrreviews1995 dude, lighten up.

[mrreviews1995]

@d00d00bird Jeez bit late. You obviously have no respect for great cinema.

[blacknwhitestripe]

@mrreviews1995 still, it was just a joke. dont take it so seriously.

[xLucyWeasleyx]

When someones really annoying me I just point my finger at them and say 'Avada kadavra.'

[xLucyWeasleyx]

When ever I see someone running down the street or in school I always yell: 'RUN, FORREST, RUN!' after them :D

[misszacefronable]

That's what you get when you let your heart win...wooooooooooah. :D

[cookiegrouch101]

whenever someone says im random i say im not random i just think faster than you :)

[gotwitbeyondmeasure]

ANYTHING FROM MEAN GIRLS

[oaala]

bears, beets, battlestar galactica

with enough emphasising it'll work in any situation

[oaala]

bears, beets, battlestar galactica

with enough emphasising it'll work in any situation

[NeonGirl29]

i just like using song lyrics in conversations. for example a friend is bitching about something i don't care about i usually start signing: "Always look on the brights side of life" thumbs up for monty python reference? :)

[izzle95]

but I am the chosen one..

[PKsDancingGIrl]

An addendum to these is "How dare you attack the son of Odin!" And when you're hungry, "This mortal form has grown weak: I require sustenance."

[Caroline95x]

George Washington is fun to use in all situations for every answer.. Even when it doesn't make sense:)

[chevonnejustine]

as soon as you said 'that's what you get when you let your heart win' i immediately sang 'wooaaah-aaoohhhh'.

[SecondclassKid]

I say a lot of thing that... well.. doesn't make sense, which makes people look at me strangely.. aand I always go: "I'm making perfect sense, you're just not keeping up!"

[TheCircean]

@SecondclassKid did you get that from doctor who?

[SecondclassKid]

@TheCircean Of course! ;)

[TheMartini1234]

Today...

My teacher: Why aren't you doing sport?

Me: I'M THE SWAN QUEEN!!!

My teacher: What?

Me: Oh, nothing, I'm injured, here's a note from my mum...

[istolerockmusic]

Anytime someone that they think "has more experience in this world" tells me to put on a hat becuz I'm gonna catch a cold I always say: from the ice inside your soul, and who do you think you are?

[XxPepsiKinsxX]

I'm magic-for when I can't think of a response

I'm allergic to rain when I'm not allowed inside.…english weather -.-

[LuLuRoXtHeWoRlD]

My Responses:

1. YOU'RE A HOOKER

2. Shut Up Trick

3.(much like #2) Shut Up Hoe

4. That's Why You Were Adopted

5. The Doctors Told Me You Have Cancer

Aaaand my all time favorite that I use nearly 5x a day:

6. I'll Cut Your Nipples Off!

[hpgirl1214]

A perfect excuse for anything: It's part of my religion.

[TheCircean]

im' Batman

[bwink239]

I like to use, " I meant to do that" for whenever I fall or am clumsy (so... really often)

[TheMattOWNage]

Well most people seem to think that Chuck Norris jokes are relevant in any situation....

[ImWellFiredUp]

don't hate

for everyday use

"damn, this sandwich doesn't have cheese!"

"hey, don't be hating"

[completeidiot19]

Why am I rappin'?

[chelseariffic]

I always say (or rather sing) "That's what you get when..." but I usually fill in the blank something that person actually did.

[mufflemuffinpuffin]

i'm the HERO OF FREAKING TIME. :D

[ginnyvideo]

the only time i use the "can't be tamed" thing is when i talk about voldemort. he who cannot be tame :)

[therismasters]

I use LEEEROYY JEENKins

[xOhLookItsAMYx]

"Who cares. Osama's dead, let's party"

[BlazingWater101]

I'm just a human like you ^.^

[hpearson902]

such a bitch......

[SpoonsRLikForks]

I still use the "Your Mom" thing. I hope its a phase...

[Bak3dB3an]

0:52

Pet pieve of mine.

When people smile when they're meant to be angry or impersonating an angry emotion.

[curiousewok]

This is SPARTA!!!!!!

Use it in any social context, whether it fits or not. Also useful at sporting events. Or elevators.

[goatheads369]

Whenever i don't want to do something that i'm told to do i say, "i am disinclined to acquiesce to your request" It usally takes them a while to figure out what it means, and i get out of a lot of stuff :P

[kenzinotkenzie]

"You're a wizard, Harry!"

I use it often...maybe too much.

[best in awkward/embarrassing situations](:

[leeleewolfisaduck]

"Because I'm Tom Buchanan!" works as well as Swan Queen... if you've read the Great Gatsby

[listentotheraenfall]

Is that a Vera Bradley bag on the chair behind you? I have a wallet of hers. :)

[rab62184]

"and...boom goes the dynamite"

[KatmanduHerself]

When I do something remarkably brilliant/wrong: "It's Friday, gotta get down on Friday" especially if it's Monday.

[howaboutjenna]

baby Imma fiiiiiiiiiiiiiire woooooooork!

[DorothyDino]

'Sorry guys...' fills in the awkward bit after everyone stops laughing aha

[MissPinkPenguin]

I go really close to someone right up their grill and tell them that i'm a personal space invader. I thought I was the first to come up with that too, but then I googled it and alas, no.

[nomoreheadbands]

I've heard it both ways

...it works for many things..like when you accidentally say something wrong and someone tries to correct you, you just say ivee heard it both ways

[KaiStack]

A good one for if someone tells a really bad story or a story that ends really awkwardly, "Cool Story Bro" it fills in the awkward silence and lets the storyteller know it's a really bad story

[katierembisz]

"parents just don't understand" to anyone ranting about their parents/ family

[nerdfighterbakergirl]

I'M THE SWAN QUEEN! Oh, and I used commas and other correct punctuation, because I WAS BORN THIS WAY! And a good thing to use is THIS IS [MY] UNIVERSE. YOU JUST LIVE IN IT! Modified from "this is Dan's universe, you just live in it".

[jennyislikeBAM]

my friends use this allll the time, usually as a comeback in any situation

"OH YOU FANCY HUH?"

[MeOrTheWallpaper]

"It's the ponn farr, doncha know"

[MeOrTheWallpaper]

"It's the ponn farr, don't ya know"

[dsmoya31410]

"And what in your previous interactions with me indicated I would ever be likely to change?"

[CalamityPlanet]

"The world is an imperfect place." from The Breakfast Club. It works almost everywhere.

[Pawfict]

I ain't even mad!

[nikkiisawesomeISH]

At my school's talent show there was this girl performing a dance to Swan Lake and when she was done, everybody clapped while I yelled "SHE'S THE SWAN QUEEN!" in that voice... I didn't mean to. It was awk.

[emmetgirl]

whenever my brother and i contradict each other, we are compelled to say "you're wrong, doctor brewster." the other sibling is then required BY LAW* to say "i'm very proud of being a woman."

we've been doing this since, um, whenever we first saw tootsie? probably a good decade at least. it's definitely been through a couple funny-not funny-funny again cycles.

*this is probably not a real law. but it is a law in our hearts.

[TheClaudiaMonster]

"I'm bi-winning!"

Thanks Charlie Sheen for pimping my life.

[TheClaudiaMonster]

"I'm bi-winning!"

[snazzydee15]

My go to is "it wasn't me, must have been you." always works

[JazzyFoxProductions]

I like to respond to people bitching about social issues with "that's America! It's a problem!" which is a quote from an SNL skit from like 2 years ago.

Another good one for a friend I like to say "At least you're pretty." Not a quote, just perfect.

[Singingswimmer247]

"its laundry day!!!!" from jason mraz's geek in the pink

[iheartlyoko]

every time you said "that's what you get when you let your heart win" my subconscious went WOAH-OH-OH-OH-OH.

[glittersparkleweee]

I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating...

[NerdisthewerdYEAH]

Me and my friends are always like 'Buy me dinner first!' whenever some one accidentally bumps into an awkward body part.

[imtotallycanadian]

"oops i did it again" dont forget the classics everyone (:

[iLeiku]

"I risked it for a chocolate buiscit"

is the popular one in my school at the moment ;)

[starrynight472]

Oh, and "WHEN YOU YELL IT ONLY MAKES SIRIUS WANT TO KILL YOU FASTER."

That usually shuts them up.

[starrynight472]

I often use the phrases "But it's okay, I'm only human" or "Nobody's perfect."

Not pop culture references, but still.

[hannahgrace717]

I always say, "It's going to be a party in the USA"

[fivelittlenerds]

'I don't work here' Is often a good one. "Why did you eat all of the cakes?" 'I don't work here'

[horusfitzfancy]

In the interest of saving time spent typing....

[WhatWouldPotterDo]

Im a big fan of the awkward unblinking glare of a psycopath, for example if someones says, why did you just throw my bag across the room? you simply respond with a long awkward stare until someone is brave enough to move the subject along...your welcome.

[ashyyyful]

The dementors are coming works pretty well :p

so does My scar is burning !

[Rawrsiee]

Does that mean that the ultimate excuse is 'That's what you get when you can't be born this swan queen'?

[grizzlybear210]

I say YOU WILL BE EXTERMINATED whenever someone beats me in an argument.

Doctor Who anybody, anybody?

[totallytrucks]

@grizzlybear210 Haha do you use your own voice or do the Daleks voice? Oh. I cannot wait to use that one..on someone who is not familiar with Dr Who.

[grizzlybear210]

@totallytrucks I use the voice, it confuses people a lot.

[ItsLittleLaura]

Relax I'm a ninja! :D

[pencilman344]

whenever something happens completely out of the random everybody knows whats coming next from me. i simply reply, "i bet a cave-man did it first(:"

[Uzwa12]

Whenever someone scores a goal or gets an A, I always shout "FOUR FOR YOU GLEN COCO! YOU GO GLEN COCO!"

[ellymae444]

YOUR MOM GOES TO COLLEGE!

[FrizzCurlsGrl]

Whenever something gets confusing, yell INCEPTION, and then do hand motions to illustrate 'dreams' of some sort. Examples of this include dramatic wave-like motions.

[X0Beads0X]

all mean girl quotes

[JoyfulKittie]

Absolutely everything that ever goes wrong can be blamed on the purple octopus.

[MzVital]

"YOU DUN GOOF'D!"

"THE CONCEQUENCES WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!"

[greenmyste]

i yelled "I'M THE SWAN QUEEN" at my brother and he responded "I'M THE LION KING"!!! win.

[BatmanAndRobin1231]

@greenmyste this. is. BRILLIANT! i laughed for literally 10 minutes. lol!

[lifeisA0K]

sometimes, i just come here and watch the last three seconds and laugh a little bit. it's my favorite.

[TheBigBlueNargle]

@MrSnowlepxD I did nothing, 

[bl0nd3brun3tt392]

After watching Inception for the first time this weekend, I loved the line "I bought the airline", so now my excuse for me doing something bitchy would be "I bought the airline".

[Katie9339]

Beauty comes at a price.. :L

[ThePlatypodes]

When the movie Kong Fu Panda came out Sprint(?) or some cell carier had a ad/advice running in every movie with Po telling you not to text in the movie and his catch phrase...

"The panda is watching you!"

Still usable any time some one is doing somthing stupid, wrong, secret, or just randomly at people as they go about the day!

[andyrumschlag]

I mean, clearly "that's what she said" needs to be mentioned. It always fits...

... that's what she said.

[maggiehanna]

I've never really used it but remember when EVERYONE used to say "your mom goes to college" to EVERYTHING.

I'm glad those days are over...

[spencerstalin24]

Doby nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo­oo

[arabstrap1980]

"(S)HE'S BEEN DEAD FOR THIRTY YEARS" is one i've been pounding into the ground at work

i.e.

person 1: John called and had a question for you...

person 2: BUT HE'S BEEN DEAD FOR THIRTY YEARS!!!

[VoxExRatio23]

RED VINES!!

[twifansem705]

@VoxExRatio23 @InEssenceDivided YAY! avpm fans! and its true. I use both of those all time. when somebody says anything along the lines of something bad happened to them I say "You'll feel better after a(dramatic pause. *turns to imaginary camera*) Red vine!"

[Mr10millionfireflies]

whenever anyone complains/btches etc. "jai hoe, life goes on."

[sarahisdavenotjeff]

"I'm Batman!"

[InEssenceDivided]

I'm Harry Freakin' Potter! It works pretty much the same way as I'm the Swan Queen

[funnygirls0301]

Baby. Its perfect in anyyy situation.

[andrineslife]

Congrats on the 4 years Hayley :) (I had no idea where to write it!)

[helliop]

You are referencing a Tumblr meme and yet you don't link to your tumbr? WHY HAILEY WHY!?

[10nantFangirl]

I always say "It's a HAYLEYGHOOVER REFERNCE" for everything that can't be explained away as a bad case of Spattergroit or extreme Whovianism. I forgot to say that it's because of my extreme Nerdery and my Magical Brain Disease. *sighs wistfully to pretend as if she had a point*

[EbonyGenineable]

When ever something odd happens my friends and I say "What is this magic!?" from Harry Potter and the Philosophers when Harry touches Quirrles face

[whitehousesvc729]

Whenever someone asks if I'm tired, I say

"Well, I would have slept last night, but a meteor crashed in my neighborhood so I went to go see what happened, then a fly came out of it who was from the future telling me that I have to find 3 people so we can save the world, and..."

Then it just keeps going until their face can't contort into a weirder expression.

BTW: if you get the reference, you deserve a cookie.

[ilovesmileyfacesXD]

"Your face smells like peppermint!"

"I'm a MOUSE. DUH"

"That was so fetch!"

"Boo, you whore."

orr basically any other quote from mean girls..lol

[shackel835]

i all ways say " stop ur jiba jaba! your not hurt! ur perfetic!

most of the time the run of or slap me

[RAWRitsnoel]

whenever someone asks me to get them something i yell "I'm not an owl!" and hope they understand my harry potter reference. lol

[leila4455]

thats what you get when youre born this swan queen...