And btw - atheist humor on Christianity CAN be funny if done right. Carlin talking about which dead relative gets demoted? Funny. Bill Maher? Not even mildly amusing.
This guy may be a comedian but even this was not very funny. Not only can he not prove his allegations to the point he states (yes I understand sarcasm), but he's trying the nonsensical double argument of "it's a conspiracy" (controlled message) with haphazard nonsense (uncontrolled). It is always amusing to me to see an atheist who insists on "truth" and then doesn't get it right himself. Fortunately for him, that no God thing means his lying really doesn't matter anyway.
I understand that this guy is exaggerating for emphasis but the root point he is making is not even close to right. I recommend that you not get your theology or your history from comedians. There's a reason he's a comedian and not a history or literary scholar.
@peterb1968 Do you grant that the texts are accurate or not? You are aware that the semantic range of the word allows for either translation right? You might also be aware that the context determines the meaning, right? Have you looked at the context or are you just parroting something you read on the Internet?
Fuck Christians. Fuck Jews. Fuck Muslims. And every fucking cult out there, your kind is historically on the wrong side of the argument, every time, always. You are dying out. SEEYA!
@lalaurentide Id say Fuck the organization, not the people who believe in it, they are just poor brainwashed souls suck in a mindset of a couple thousand years ago
@lalaurentide That is begging my question (which is what I would do too since you can not answer the origin of life question). First give me an answer to the question of "how did life originate? what is your best explanation" then I will answer your very good question. I Love you!
@BoyJewish And why is it about winning and losing? Understanding our world is a process, only a close-minded brainwashed polarized person would see things in extremes, it's either black or white isn't!?
@lalaurentide If seeking truth makes one closed minded I am indeed close minded. I was an atheist until I learned the fossil record consists of great drawings without the fossils to back them up; don't believe me,.seek out the actual fossils. Then the lack of living evidence and the impossibility of a natural explanation for the origin of life and matter and energy made me a man of science believe in God. You have much more faith than me to believe eyes are the result of chance.
@mrnoodleisdead I think what you're saying is often true. Doesn't have much to do with whether Christian theism has merit as a thought system though. What's your worldview? Have you faced it's implications.
Wow, he kind of lifted that whole bit from Bart Erhman in a lecture from the Teaching Co. It's too similar to be a coincidence. I think he owes Dr. Erhman some writing acknowledgments.
This is just offensive from a comic-point-of-view. It's really easy to take pop shots at religion. Really it just shows a lack of creativity. There's so much material to work with out there in the world. Try using your mind and work a little harder to make a joke.
@BoyJewish Oh boy, Jesus is real? Fuck, where do I sign up?
I mean yeah the priests fuck children and the church in general is a fucking dinosaur and a complete parasite on us all, building huge ugly prayer bunkers in all cities and looking to fuck with what I do in my own time in my own house, what herbs I smoke and what mushrooms I do or don't eat, but hey, if the fucking scrolls are accurate, then sign me the fuck up.
Do I get to keep my foreskin or do I have to have my cock mutilated too?
@calin4thewin I am very very sorry for the traumatic event in your life where you cried out to God and still suffered the horrible abuse. I understand. Everyone suffers but what you went through was obviously awful and traumatic. God still loves you even though you have a broken heart.
And even if I had any, why would I choose your specific god to start mumbling to? Makes no sense.
What concerns me now, is the huge fucking prayer bunker that they're building in my city, from taxpayer money, the cars and houses and fat bellies of the priests, parents relying on prayer instead of medicine, and so on.
And yes, genital mutilation as well. Didn't happen to me, but let's call things by their proper name here.
@BoyJewish Pulled from the Dead Sea Scrolls wiki: "It is now becoming increasingly clear that the Old Testament scripture was extremely fluid until its canonization around A.D. 100."; "The DSS thus form a significant witness to the mutability of biblical texts at this period."
@FishGlaser The Qumran texts (a.k.a. the Dead Sea Scrolls) that were found in 1947 and the following years have given very strong testimony to the reliability of the OT. These texts have dated to two centuries or more before the time of Christ. About 100 of these documents are copies of the OT and some of the books were represented by several copies.
@BoyJewish Since the Dead Sea Scrolls were written, thousands of copies of the OT have been made and yet there are only slight variations (copyist errors, apparent inconsistencies, etc.). The effects are insignificant and what was found in the Qumran caves is an excellent confirmation of what we have today.
@BoyJewish Ok here is a small change that makes a bif difference. Mary accroding to modern theists was a virgin, while the actual meaning was young girl, not a virgin. So the Christians use the virgin birth to say Jesus was the son of god, it is the centre of Christianity. Take away the virgin birth and you have a young jewish couple to are married having a child .............. so what! No more christian religions.
@BoyJewish Of course young and old girls can be virgins but taking occums razor into consideratiion and the demads a new husband (or before being married) whats the likely state of virginity of a new wife. They had sex like anyone else and had a child and called it Jesus. The bible when exmined does not say virgin it says young girl, this is mis-interpretation and is a killer to christianity it they admitted it.
@peterb1968 Good point...except they were not married...they were betrothed. A;so, please read Luke 1:34, and explain to me what that verse teaches you regarding whether Mary was a virgin. I am enjoying our discourse.
as hilarious as the fundamentalists are, I'd actually enjoy hearing a decently coherent breakdown of revelations. There's a lot of pretty abstract symbolism in there.
@HolySka1991 ... The two aren't mutually exclusive one is born a Jew regardless to what you believe its passed down via mothers. The term is Ethnoreligious meaning its passed via heritage or through conversion. I cant stop having my Irish decent just because I dont live like im Irish.
@bobbysnobby The Thing Is That Your Irish Descent Is Your Nationality, Not A Religion. Sure You Can Be Raised Irish Catholic, But You Can Become An Atheist While Still Having Your Irish Decent Because "Irish Catholic" Is Just A Term To Describe Someone Who Happens To Been Raised In A Catholic Family And Has Been Either Born In Ireland Or Have An Irish Descent.
@HolySka1991 You only listened to the half you wanted to.The term is Ethoreligious it is both a ethnic group and a religion. Im not sure why you capitalized every word but here is the run down nice and simple. You can be Jewish, Agnostic and Atheist with out any overlap between any of the terms. David Cross is Jewish AND an atheist with no more or less overlap than I am Irish American and am an Atheist.
@flamingleg ....? Agnostic: The belief that knowing whether or not a God really exists is an unanswerable question.
Athiest: An individual who doesn't include a God(s) as part of their world view.
Those don't have overlap one is a philosophical position, one is a world view. I am an Agnostic Atheist I believe that not I nor anyone else can prove if there is or is not a God, I also live as if there is not a God and have no religious experiences or affiliations.
Still seems contradictory to me. If you submit to agnosticism, then how are you confident enough in your skepticism of god to live your life as an atheist? I suspect that you maintain the agnosticism to maintain relations with theists, and also maintain atheism to not be mocked by actual atheists.
@flamingleg . I dont submit to agnosticism its a intellectual position I believe its impossible for anyone to disprove a being that can do anything, I also believe its impossible to prove something that exists outside reality, thus the question cannot be answered. I also dont live as if there is a God and thus am an Atheist, I think that without evidence of any sort to believe in a God is childish, that does not mean I dont have theist friends nor do I think I shouldnt have them.
Religion is power in the hands of the corrupted. I won't judge any beliefs or non-beliefs, but if your riligion stated that it was ok to kill, then I'm sure most of you would follow it. And if you try to prove me wrong, saying that religion doesn't drive people to kill, then what were the crusades...
Ever notice that Christians get more hardcore as they age? This is the effect of fear. Religion (or nonbelief) is a gamble, you bet your "soul" (individual awareness) that this belief system is right, then you come to a time when you realize that if you're wrong...you've wasted your one life. SO, you double-down, having painted yourself into an existential corner you have no recourse but to shut yourself off from anything that might remind you of the deal you've made with yourself. Fuck that.
@inthebiscuits Your theory's biggest problem is that it explains an assumption which is wrong itself. christians dont get more hardcore by default. Just because some have, it's not true to them in general. They're still individual people who think about and react to things differently, and not stereotypes who all work exactly thge same way.
@MillionthUsername is clearly some "christian soldier" troll who will never admit he is a fool, you guys can quit trying to educate him now. You can only help those who want help.
@Auktoriserad it is a party game, usually played by children, in which something is whispered in one person's ear, which is then whispered into the next person's ear, and continued until it reaches the last person who says what they heard out loud; usually something completely different from what was originally communicated. Proves the fallibility of communication through multiple transmissions.
All human beings transmit knowledge orally, you jackass. And who are you saying didn't know how to write? Of course they wrote in "dead" languages, you bigoted nitwit. They wrote when those languages were in use. Do you think your third grade American English will be recognizable in 500, 1000, 2000 years?
Yes, moron, they have to translate one language into another. Sorry. Will you bring us to our senses and get rid of 99.99% of the unnecessary languages?
@MillionthUsername You totally missed the point. He is illustrating that the bible has never been the word of god as it was written and rewritten by men reflecting all those authors ignorance and prejudices and as such is not reliable as a factual historical document... And as such is definitely not a reliable source of moral guidance. It simply does not meet the criteria that other texts must meet to be considered reliable on any level.
@MillionthUsername Please explain how it is bigotry. Are historians, biologists, astrophysicists, astronomers gelogists etc etc all bigots because the bible is repeatedly shown to be bullshit? Is daring to say observed provable reality is reality bigotry now? Is calling bullshit , bullshit bigotry? Should we all just accept the rediculous mythology of bronze age goat herders as fact for fear of being labled a bigot? of course not
@aldridge1 Cross' routine here is bigoted. And so are your comments. You don't know what the hell you're talking about, and I have no interest in replying to someone who says, "rediculous mythology of bronze age goat herders."
@MillionthUsername By any definition it is mythology of the bronze age believed by uneducated farmers. Any unbiased study of biblical teaching and that of any of the derived abrahamic religeons when compared against current provable fact shows these beliefs to be rediculous. On which point do I not know what I am talking about and then demontrate why I am wrong. Labeling me a bigot and running from disscussion like a petulant child by claiming a non existant high ground fools no one.
@MillionthUsername Cross is not a bigot. He is simply calling out religious mythology for what it is: mythology. Some people accept that the Bible is simply a collection of parables to teach us how to get along with one another. Others take the Bible literally and think it is the word of God. If you study the history of the Bible, you will find that Cross is correct. None of the Bible is written by God, Jesus or any of the apostles. Talking snake? Boat filled with animals two by two? Myth.
@MillionthUsername You can't be bigoted against a belief, moron, as in, "I fucking hate stupid people with big mouths." That's something more akin to bigotry. If not for the tendency of people to take culture for granted, coupled with the forced conversion of millions throughout history, your religion would look as crazy to most people as it does to the few with the balls to think for themselves.
@MillionthUsername You know that everyone here understands what a douche you are? You can't be bigoted to criticize someones beliefs, sorry doesn't work that way.
@ZetaAlphon the only thing you will hear in hell is all the voices who said you can go to heaven if you believe on jesus but you will know you did not listen when you had the chance
were do you think your language roots come from? mid air? even your language praises god! even your music priases god,, the 7 notes point to his completion,, you people are lost and ignorant and i guess hell bound and when that big ufo comes down from heaven and your feel pain and wish to die you will wish you listened, you have been warned
@SigmaSigmaGnarly ,,lol,,many religious works based cults in the world,, but jesus said he was God in the flesh and to believe on him was the only way to be saved. its not my words at all its in john 3:16 and romans 5:8
I'm sure King David and King Solomon had people around them who could right.
And since in the Bible we can clearly see different personallities from book to book,and also an apparent same personallity in the wrighting of Luke and Acts and other exaples like that,I'm sure it must have been real hard to re edit,re edit, re write,re edit it,I guess they must have done it with a kind of actor cast each time with people who kind of talked and sounded like each authors.And have a cast each period.
the bible is stupid, but it sounds nice in some parts, PSALM 23 has a nice poetic feel to in in the king james version, i just don't count on the lord being here and there to take care of me, i think HE doesn't exist
@3tangle3 The main problems with that is, I am not arrogant enough to think i am god. And i am not dumb enough to believe that a meaning i make has intrinsic worth in the slightest.
To put it another way, your meaning doesn't mean that there ISN'T intrinsic meaning in the universe.
It may be moot, but in my mind the "point" always had no voice.. so..... bleh.
The only authority that insists people do not question them I see.. are the Al Gores of the world (people who are fundamentally dishonest). Anyway, another name of the Jewish people literally means "struggle with God". Questioning authority is good.
@terskip i never did ANY drugs, and unless you graduated with honors in college, you didn't do any better than me...i don't drink or smoke... never have... i'm a vegan... was a long distance runner... try again - do your homework first before saying silly stuff to folks... and no, i have never had an LSD godlike experience enough to come up with what i said that you just responded to... but it would be nice...
It never seizes to amaze me that so many religious people seem to think that telling an atheist that they're going to hell is somehow going to scare that atheist. It's the emptiest threat you could ever use since atheists don't believe in a hell.
If you don’t believe there is a God that means you don’t believe that evil spirits are real and it’s only a matter of time its only a matter of time. If you think we exist because of some BIG BANG that appeared out of no where for no reason then you are a fucking idiot. It’s because of the bible why Satan come touch me and daemons can’t come near me.
@lllBADMANlll Yeah. You keep on believing. The end times are near. Maybe go and live in a bomb shelter. The rest of us will keep on living in the real world.
@victorbarovsky One of the main reasons why I believe there is a GOD is because i believe evil is real and evil is powerful, i have seen evil spirits consume the body of innocent people, making these people do wicked evil things without realizing what they are doing and the only reason why we are still alive is because of the constant battle between good and evil GOD and the Devil.
Telephone is where people whisper and can't ask what the person said. Come on, guys, look deeper into your research than stand up comedy. Go for some books. Look into the Dead Sea Scrolls. You'll learn more than from this dude.
Moses was better at being hitler than hitler: Genocide of multiple tribes, and giving youg virgin girls as slaves to his troops as a reward, where rape and adultery laws don't apply to property. God even got a cut (Numbers 31)
They entered into a covenant to seek the Lord, the God of their fathers, with all their heart and soul; and everyone who would not seek the Lord, the God of Israel, was to be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman, or the teenage mutant ninja turtles (2 Chronicles 15:12-13 NAB)
Ever notice how folks that have never read the Bible always have the most crap to say about it?.. Why dont these educated fools make fun of the Koran?.. it's a religious favorite too? let's see how long get laughs out of that.. go head.."I DARE YOU TO LAUGH AT THE KORAN AND AND MAKE FUN OF ISLAM" this is a free country say it, I double dog dare you. what day does the world celebrate the resurrection of muhammed? atheist holiday is april 1st....
I am not very educated on this subject and for a time I bought this argument. However, doesn't the finding of the dead sea scrolls negate this argument?
@Decentralism The dead sea scrolls do contain much of the same scriptures that are in the bible. Mostly the books of the prophets from what I understand, but in a different dialect. The Qumran community is regarded as a proto-Christian group by some scholars, that is, traditional Judaism with an entirely new eschatology. However, the scriptures of Qumran and the Bible are supposed to be much older than those documents of the dead sea, some of them going back as far as 800 BC.
@Decentralism no the dead sea scrolls does not negate this argument. when he says stories that were written down 30 to 60 years later hes talking about the gospels which were passed down for decades by word of mouth and were finally written down later by highly educated greek speaking people, not the aramaic speaking disciples who probably couldnt even write in that language.
the dead sea scrolls is the old testament, hes pretty much talking about the new testament
@oneadamtwelve86 You are completely right, I don't know how I missed that ending. I watched it again, thanks for pointing that out. I suspect the theist could make the arg that if the re-translation efforts stayed so accurate when compared to the dead sea scrolls, the same *could* potentially be said for the gospels...once they were written especially given that they were written way after the old testament. the problem of course being the decades of it being kept oral.
Well, I tried to edit the clip for David to not sound like he knows nothing about prophecy, and dates in the bible..... But it just made even less sense.
Yes, Dave is a poor Bill Hicks impersonator.....but without the intellect.
David Cross is such a douchebag. I hate his smarmy, cheap attempt at comedy. "HURR CHRISTIANS R DUM LOL" as if that hasn't been done to death and a million times better by literally everyone who ever did it before him.
@neroxtreme1380 "as if that hasn't been done to death.." Who cares if it's been done to death? Until religion goes away, intelligent comedians will continue to bash religion because religion is a joke that never gets old. When you laugh at something, it loses power. And religion needs to lose power. So it's important for as many comedians as possible to expose religion for what bullshit it is. The point of being a comedian is not to get laughs, but to change the world through laughter.
@olekiar B/c theres a red guy whos gonna poke us in the tukhus(butt) when we get there ;)
I feel bad for people who believe that shit. Theyve been brainwashed to the point where they cant fully enjoy the one life you have, on earth. Heaven and Hell dont exsist. Anyone who claims to have "crossedover" are either lying or they experienced a endorphine high, which happens when your brain thinks its dying. Massive amount of seratonine is releasedgiving a euphoric feeling as you hallucinate "heaven"
@batman The Pastafarian conception of Heaven includes a beer volcano and a stripper factory. The Pastafarian Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale and the strippers have sexually transmitted diseases.
@emanubano And yet more emotional blackmail from an arrogant, hypocritical, willfully ignorant, fat, toothless, pew-sittin', trailer-livin', adulterous, slothful, jealous, greedy, cheap, "christian". What a surprise.
Completely true. Historical fiction created through chinese whispers and a bucketload of illiterate Bronze Age superstition that made the world's most mainstream mythology.
But David started talking about things about the future that seemed antiquated in hindsight when reading the Bible now and he doesn't give any (of the countless) examples in this clip. Was that cut out? Oh, well.
And btw - atheist humor on Christianity CAN be funny if done right. Carlin talking about which dead relative gets demoted? Funny. Bill Maher? Not even mildly amusing.
Maestrohbill 1 day ago
This guy may be a comedian but even this was not very funny. Not only can he not prove his allegations to the point he states (yes I understand sarcasm), but he's trying the nonsensical double argument of "it's a conspiracy" (controlled message) with haphazard nonsense (uncontrolled). It is always amusing to me to see an atheist who insists on "truth" and then doesn't get it right himself. Fortunately for him, that no God thing means his lying really doesn't matter anyway.
Maestrohbill 1 day ago
@Maestrohbill god came to me today and said:
- AND LET THE PRIESTS FUCK THE BOYSSSSSSSSSS
penrun 21 hours ago
Comment removed
penrun 2 days ago
I understand that this guy is exaggerating for emphasis but the root point he is making is not even close to right. I recommend that you not get your theology or your history from comedians. There's a reason he's a comedian and not a history or literary scholar.
larrycastle 2 days ago
@peterb1968 Do you grant that the texts are accurate or not? You are aware that the semantic range of the word allows for either translation right? You might also be aware that the context determines the meaning, right? Have you looked at the context or are you just parroting something you read on the Internet?
larrycastle 2 days ago
So many people arguing over something that is factually accurate.
CodyRicheson 2 days ago
Fuck Christians. Fuck Jews. Fuck Muslims. And every fucking cult out there, your kind is historically on the wrong side of the argument, every time, always. You are dying out. SEEYA!
lalaurentide 2 weeks ago
@lalaurentide Id say Fuck the organization, not the people who believe in it, they are just poor brainwashed souls suck in a mindset of a couple thousand years ago
rad4life1 1 week ago
@lalaurentide How did life originate La La? Win this argument! LOL LOL LA LA! You lose (again).
BoyJewish 5 days ago
@BoyJewish How did God originate? And since you believe solely on faith, how does it comfort you, are you that weak?
lalaurentide 3 days ago
@lalaurentide That is begging my question (which is what I would do too since you can not answer the origin of life question). First give me an answer to the question of "how did life originate? what is your best explanation" then I will answer your very good question. I Love you!
BoyJewish 3 days ago
@BoyJewish And why is it about winning and losing? Understanding our world is a process, only a close-minded brainwashed polarized person would see things in extremes, it's either black or white isn't!?
lalaurentide 3 days ago
@lalaurentide If seeking truth makes one closed minded I am indeed close minded. I was an atheist until I learned the fossil record consists of great drawings without the fossils to back them up; don't believe me,.seek out the actual fossils. Then the lack of living evidence and the impossibility of a natural explanation for the origin of life and matter and energy made me a man of science believe in God. You have much more faith than me to believe eyes are the result of chance.
BoyJewish 3 days ago
@BoyJewish If there's one thing I believe about eyes, is they weren't purposely designed with a defective spot.
PianoGamer64 2 days ago
@PianoGamer64 Please elaborate.....are you saying eyes are not designed?
BoyJewish 2 days ago
@BoyJewish I am saying if they were my design, I'd place the signal nerves on the back of the retina to avoid blurring.
PianoGamer64 2 days ago
Brilliant! And so true!!
pjaylett 2 weeks ago
Matthew 6:33
psimon12345 3 weeks ago
religious people are the biggest cowards. they always fear answering simple questions because they fear facing certain realities. i am sad for them.
mrnoodleisdead 3 weeks ago
@mrnoodleisdead How did life originate? That's a simple question.
BoyJewish 5 days ago
@mrnoodleisdead I think what you're saying is often true. Doesn't have much to do with whether Christian theism has merit as a thought system though. What's your worldview? Have you faced it's implications.
larrycastle 2 days ago
Wow, he kind of lifted that whole bit from Bart Erhman in a lecture from the Teaching Co. It's too similar to be a coincidence. I think he owes Dr. Erhman some writing acknowledgments.
myerssa7 3 weeks ago
This is just offensive from a comic-point-of-view. It's really easy to take pop shots at religion. Really it just shows a lack of creativity. There's so much material to work with out there in the world. Try using your mind and work a little harder to make a joke.
infragablecrunk 1 month ago
@infragablecrunk i like this joke.
BigBen81 4 weeks ago
I was in the mood for a petty argument between two nobody's so I went straight to youtube!
ExistUNDRGROUND 1 month ago 4
The Bible is everybody''s
Ishtarzcherry 1 month ago
Can he explain the accuracy of the Dead Sea Scrolls?
BoyJewish 1 month ago
@BoyJewish Oh boy, Jesus is real? Fuck, where do I sign up?
I mean yeah the priests fuck children and the church in general is a fucking dinosaur and a complete parasite on us all, building huge ugly prayer bunkers in all cities and looking to fuck with what I do in my own time in my own house, what herbs I smoke and what mushrooms I do or don't eat, but hey, if the fucking scrolls are accurate, then sign me the fuck up.
Do I get to keep my foreskin or do I have to have my cock mutilated too?
calin4thewin 3 weeks ago
@calin4thewin I am very very sorry for the traumatic event in your life where you cried out to God and still suffered the horrible abuse. I understand. Everyone suffers but what you went through was obviously awful and traumatic. God still loves you even though you have a broken heart.
BoyJewish 3 weeks ago
@BoyJewish What horrible abuse, dude?
And even if I had any, why would I choose your specific god to start mumbling to? Makes no sense.
What concerns me now, is the huge fucking prayer bunker that they're building in my city, from taxpayer money, the cars and houses and fat bellies of the priests, parents relying on prayer instead of medicine, and so on.
And yes, genital mutilation as well. Didn't happen to me, but let's call things by their proper name here.
calin4thewin 3 weeks ago
@BoyJewish Pulled from the Dead Sea Scrolls wiki: "It is now becoming increasingly clear that the Old Testament scripture was extremely fluid until its canonization around A.D. 100."; "The DSS thus form a significant witness to the mutability of biblical texts at this period."
Accurate, you say?
FishGlaser 3 weeks ago
@FishGlaser The Qumran texts (a.k.a. the Dead Sea Scrolls) that were found in 1947 and the following years have given very strong testimony to the reliability of the OT. These texts have dated to two centuries or more before the time of Christ. About 100 of these documents are copies of the OT and some of the books were represented by several copies.
BoyJewish 3 weeks ago
@BoyJewish Since the Dead Sea Scrolls were written, thousands of copies of the OT have been made and yet there are only slight variations (copyist errors, apparent inconsistencies, etc.). The effects are insignificant and what was found in the Qumran caves is an excellent confirmation of what we have today.
BoyJewish 3 weeks ago
@BoyJewish Ok here is a small change that makes a bif difference. Mary accroding to modern theists was a virgin, while the actual meaning was young girl, not a virgin. So the Christians use the virgin birth to say Jesus was the son of god, it is the centre of Christianity. Take away the virgin birth and you have a young jewish couple to are married having a child .............. so what! No more christian religions.
peterb1968 6 days ago
@peterb1968 Excellent point, but you think young girls can't be virgins?
BoyJewish 5 days ago
@BoyJewish Of course young and old girls can be virgins but taking occums razor into consideratiion and the demads a new husband (or before being married) whats the likely state of virginity of a new wife. They had sex like anyone else and had a child and called it Jesus. The bible when exmined does not say virgin it says young girl, this is mis-interpretation and is a killer to christianity it they admitted it.
peterb1968 3 days ago
@peterb1968 Good point...except they were not married...they were betrothed. A;so, please read Luke 1:34, and explain to me what that verse teaches you regarding whether Mary was a virgin. I am enjoying our discourse.
BoyJewish 2 days ago
as hilarious as the fundamentalists are, I'd actually enjoy hearing a decently coherent breakdown of revelations. There's a lot of pretty abstract symbolism in there.
flamingleg 2 months ago
This is what happens when comedians try to do scholarship ..... intellectual disaster
l33tpwnzord 2 months ago
thank you David for pointing it out....someone had to....
drscratchnsniff2 3 months ago
He's a jew.
bluemystic7502 3 months ago
@bluemystic7502 Ex-Jew, He's Now An Atheist
HolySka1991 3 months ago 2
@HolySka1991 he is still a Jew sir his mom is a Jew thus he is if you read his book he talks about being both and the odd place that leaves him....
bobbysnobby 3 months ago
@bobbysnobby He Was Raised As A Jewish Man, But He Become An Atheist Later On.
HolySka1991 3 months ago
@HolySka1991 ... The two aren't mutually exclusive one is born a Jew regardless to what you believe its passed down via mothers. The term is Ethnoreligious meaning its passed via heritage or through conversion. I cant stop having my Irish decent just because I dont live like im Irish.
bobbysnobby 3 months ago
@bobbysnobby The Thing Is That Your Irish Descent Is Your Nationality, Not A Religion. Sure You Can Be Raised Irish Catholic, But You Can Become An Atheist While Still Having Your Irish Decent Because "Irish Catholic" Is Just A Term To Describe Someone Who Happens To Been Raised In A Catholic Family And Has Been Either Born In Ireland Or Have An Irish Descent.
HolySka1991 3 months ago
@HolySka1991 You only listened to the half you wanted to.The term is Ethoreligious it is both a ethnic group and a religion. Im not sure why you capitalized every word but here is the run down nice and simple. You can be Jewish, Agnostic and Atheist with out any overlap between any of the terms. David Cross is Jewish AND an atheist with no more or less overlap than I am Irish American and am an Atheist.
bobbysnobby 3 months ago
@bobbysnobby I'll Admit That I Was Stumped When You Mention "Ethnoreligious." So Stumped That I Had To Do Some Research About This.
HolySka1991 3 months ago
@HolySka1991 Hes right. But on a side note, I also really want to know why you capitalize all your words. O=o Its weird.
hellmaster3000 3 months ago
@hellmaster3000 Just A Habit
HolySka1991 3 months ago
@bobbysnobby you can't be both an atheist and an agnostic without being slightly deluded
flamingleg 2 months ago
@flamingleg ....? Agnostic: The belief that knowing whether or not a God really exists is an unanswerable question.
Athiest: An individual who doesn't include a God(s) as part of their world view.
Those don't have overlap one is a philosophical position, one is a world view. I am an Agnostic Atheist I believe that not I nor anyone else can prove if there is or is not a God, I also live as if there is not a God and have no religious experiences or affiliations.
bobbysnobby 2 months ago
@bobbysnobby
Still seems contradictory to me. If you submit to agnosticism, then how are you confident enough in your skepticism of god to live your life as an atheist? I suspect that you maintain the agnosticism to maintain relations with theists, and also maintain atheism to not be mocked by actual atheists.
just my two cents.
flamingleg 2 months ago
@flamingleg . I dont submit to agnosticism its a intellectual position I believe its impossible for anyone to disprove a being that can do anything, I also believe its impossible to prove something that exists outside reality, thus the question cannot be answered. I also dont live as if there is a God and thus am an Atheist, I think that without evidence of any sort to believe in a God is childish, that does not mean I dont have theist friends nor do I think I shouldnt have them.
bobbysnobby 2 months ago
@bobbysnobby atheism isnt a worldview. thats absurd.
volound 1 month ago
@flamingleg youre a moron. most agnostics are atheists and most atheists are agnostic.
volound 1 month ago
Religion is power in the hands of the corrupted. I won't judge any beliefs or non-beliefs, but if your riligion stated that it was ok to kill, then I'm sure most of you would follow it. And if you try to prove me wrong, saying that religion doesn't drive people to kill, then what were the crusades...
SuperAlphamale13 4 months ago
Ever notice that Christians get more hardcore as they age? This is the effect of fear. Religion (or nonbelief) is a gamble, you bet your "soul" (individual awareness) that this belief system is right, then you come to a time when you realize that if you're wrong...you've wasted your one life. SO, you double-down, having painted yourself into an existential corner you have no recourse but to shut yourself off from anything that might remind you of the deal you've made with yourself. Fuck that.
inthebiscuits 4 months ago 53
@inthebiscuits Your theory's biggest problem is that it explains an assumption which is wrong itself. christians dont get more hardcore by default. Just because some have, it's not true to them in general. They're still individual people who think about and react to things differently, and not stereotypes who all work exactly thge same way.
Retardretroguy 2 months ago
@inthebiscuits you're on to something. damn.
PinkNinjaProductions 4 weeks ago
The Qoran never has been changed. It's still the same, in the same language.
supaFLYcc 4 months ago
@supaFLYcc
it's because they are smart people...
SuperAlphamale13 4 months ago
@supaFLYcc That's actually a fallacy. Whenever it's printed in another language, translation can alter meaning directly or at least through context.
BlueMaxx86 3 months ago 3
@supaFLYcc
... also written after mohammed's death.
1997xander 2 months ago
"It's true" ? How the hell do you know that for a fact ?
You're gonna use your personal prejudice on religion as your only tool. That's not very...what's the word...."intelligent" ?
yoe91 4 months ago
@MillionthUsername is clearly some "christian soldier" troll who will never admit he is a fool, you guys can quit trying to educate him now. You can only help those who want help.
ilovebitchcakes 4 months ago
I have been busy posting this link.
ilovebitchcakes 4 months ago
what does he mean by saying "The bible is litterally the worlds oldest game of telephone"??
Auktoriserad 5 months ago
@Auktoriserad it is a party game, usually played by children, in which something is whispered in one person's ear, which is then whispered into the next person's ear, and continued until it reaches the last person who says what they heard out loud; usually something completely different from what was originally communicated. Proves the fallibility of communication through multiple transmissions.
scumbauggio 4 months ago
@scumbauggio Ok Thank you, I know the game. We just call it something different . Here its called "the wispering game" :) Thank you for your comment!
Auktoriserad 4 months ago
The Bible is basically Chineese Whisper, except with very cheeky players.
danerogil 5 months ago
All human beings transmit knowledge orally, you jackass. And who are you saying didn't know how to write? Of course they wrote in "dead" languages, you bigoted nitwit. They wrote when those languages were in use. Do you think your third grade American English will be recognizable in 500, 1000, 2000 years?
Yes, moron, they have to translate one language into another. Sorry. Will you bring us to our senses and get rid of 99.99% of the unnecessary languages?
Cultural stupidity on display.
MillionthUsername 5 months ago
@MillionthUsername You completely missed the point.
SigmaSigmaGnarly 5 months ago
@MillionthUsername You totally missed the point. He is illustrating that the bible has never been the word of god as it was written and rewritten by men reflecting all those authors ignorance and prejudices and as such is not reliable as a factual historical document... And as such is definitely not a reliable source of moral guidance. It simply does not meet the criteria that other texts must meet to be considered reliable on any level.
aldridge1 5 months ago
@aldridge1 No, I got the point. It's just pure bigotry.
MillionthUsername 5 months ago
@MillionthUsername Please explain how it is bigotry. Are historians, biologists, astrophysicists, astronomers gelogists etc etc all bigots because the bible is repeatedly shown to be bullshit? Is daring to say observed provable reality is reality bigotry now? Is calling bullshit , bullshit bigotry? Should we all just accept the rediculous mythology of bronze age goat herders as fact for fear of being labled a bigot? of course not
aldridge1 5 months ago
@aldridge1 Cross' routine here is bigoted. And so are your comments. You don't know what the hell you're talking about, and I have no interest in replying to someone who says, "rediculous mythology of bronze age goat herders."
MillionthUsername 5 months ago
@MillionthUsername By any definition it is mythology of the bronze age believed by uneducated farmers. Any unbiased study of biblical teaching and that of any of the derived abrahamic religeons when compared against current provable fact shows these beliefs to be rediculous. On which point do I not know what I am talking about and then demontrate why I am wrong. Labeling me a bigot and running from disscussion like a petulant child by claiming a non existant high ground fools no one.
aldridge1 5 months ago
@MillionthUsername: Just because you're offended doesn't mean it's bigotry. What David Cross said in this video is completely true.
qRaynep 5 months ago 59
@MillionthUsername Cross is not a bigot. He is simply calling out religious mythology for what it is: mythology. Some people accept that the Bible is simply a collection of parables to teach us how to get along with one another. Others take the Bible literally and think it is the word of God. If you study the history of the Bible, you will find that Cross is correct. None of the Bible is written by God, Jesus or any of the apostles. Talking snake? Boat filled with animals two by two? Myth.
coolgreyoneabby 5 months ago
@MillionthUsername You can't be bigoted against a belief, moron, as in, "I fucking hate stupid people with big mouths." That's something more akin to bigotry. If not for the tendency of people to take culture for granted, coupled with the forced conversion of millions throughout history, your religion would look as crazy to most people as it does to the few with the balls to think for themselves.
inthebiscuits 4 months ago 2
@MillionthUsername You know that everyone here understands what a douche you are? You can't be bigoted to criticize someones beliefs, sorry doesn't work that way.
thesparitan 3 months ago
Man, I can't wait to go to hell, so I don't have to listen to all these Christians telling me how I'm going to go to hell.
ZetaAlphon 5 months ago
@ZetaAlphon the only thing you will hear in hell is all the voices who said you can go to heaven if you believe on jesus but you will know you did not listen when you had the chance
ncbookz 5 months ago
were do you think your language roots come from? mid air? even your language praises god! even your music priases god,, the 7 notes point to his completion,, you people are lost and ignorant and i guess hell bound and when that big ufo comes down from heaven and your feel pain and wish to die you will wish you listened, you have been warned
ncbookz 5 months ago
@ncbookz Alright you convinced me, how much is it to join your cult?
SigmaSigmaGnarly 5 months ago
@SigmaSigmaGnarly ,,lol,,many religious works based cults in the world,, but jesus said he was God in the flesh and to believe on him was the only way to be saved. its not my words at all its in john 3:16 and romans 5:8
ncbookz 5 months ago
I'm sure King David and King Solomon had people around them who could right.
And since in the Bible we can clearly see different personallities from book to book,and also an apparent same personallity in the wrighting of Luke and Acts and other exaples like that,I'm sure it must have been real hard to re edit,re edit, re write,re edit it,I guess they must have done it with a kind of actor cast each time with people who kind of talked and sounded like each authors.And have a cast each period.
desasterz 6 months ago
@desasterz yea you're write
gordonrobertwhite 6 months ago
@desasterz
King Solomon probably could "write"
The variability in wordage of especially the New Testament is well documented.
It is also seen in the Old Testament and to a lessor extent in the Koran.
They did not have photocopiers then and scribes were not perfect. Some changes were accidental, while others were purposeful.
rhythm61 6 months ago
@rhythm61 Apparently to verify the errors, they would have five people and they would count the words.
desasterz 6 months ago
im really god damn gay
DokudokuDGAF 6 months ago
the bible is stupid, but it sounds nice in some parts, PSALM 23 has a nice poetic feel to in in the king james version, i just don't count on the lord being here and there to take care of me, i think HE doesn't exist
glorp896 6 months ago
@LegacyofPuppetMaster *You're
IRONY. Dumbass.
GamerKT35 6 months ago
why is there still religion. i dont get it.
five5200 7 months ago
@five5200 Why do people still insist on meaninglessness. I don't get it.
terskip 6 months ago
@terskip you make your own meaning....doesnt mean there is intrinsic meaning in the universe
3tangle3 6 months ago
@3tangle3 The main problems with that is, I am not arrogant enough to think i am god. And i am not dumb enough to believe that a meaning i make has intrinsic worth in the slightest.
To put it another way, your meaning doesn't mean that there ISN'T intrinsic meaning in the universe.
Your point is mute.
terskip 6 months ago
@terskip I dont really know anything.....just enjoying the ride, always question authority.
btw.. moot* point ;P
3tangle3 6 months ago
@3tangle3
It may be moot, but in my mind the "point" always had no voice.. so..... bleh.
The only authority that insists people do not question them I see.. are the Al Gores of the world (people who are fundamentally dishonest). Anyway, another name of the Jewish people literally means "struggle with God". Questioning authority is good.
terskip 6 months ago
@terskip u ever think u r god enough to know there isn't one?
glorp896 6 months ago
@glorp896 Drugs are bad. Stay in school.
terskip 6 months ago
@terskip i never did ANY drugs, and unless you graduated with honors in college, you didn't do any better than me...i don't drink or smoke... never have... i'm a vegan... was a long distance runner... try again - do your homework first before saying silly stuff to folks... and no, i have never had an LSD godlike experience enough to come up with what i said that you just responded to... but it would be nice...
glorp896 6 months ago
@glorp896 Drugs are bad. Stay in school.
terskip 6 months ago
@3tangle3 how existential of you
glorp896 6 months ago
I like how his last name is Cross and he's making fun of the bible.
wowfannie 7 months ago
It never seizes to amaze me that so many religious people seem to think that telling an atheist that they're going to hell is somehow going to scare that atheist. It's the emptiest threat you could ever use since atheists don't believe in a hell.
softan 7 months ago
If you don’t believe there is a God that means you don’t believe that evil spirits are real and it’s only a matter of time its only a matter of time. If you think we exist because of some BIG BANG that appeared out of no where for no reason then you are a fucking idiot. It’s because of the bible why Satan come touch me and daemons can’t come near me.
lllBADMANlll 7 months ago
@lllBADMANlll Yeah. You keep on believing. The end times are near. Maybe go and live in a bomb shelter. The rest of us will keep on living in the real world.
victorbarovsky 7 months ago
@victorbarovsky One of the main reasons why I believe there is a GOD is because i believe evil is real and evil is powerful, i have seen evil spirits consume the body of innocent people, making these people do wicked evil things without realizing what they are doing and the only reason why we are still alive is because of the constant battle between good and evil GOD and the Devil.
lllBADMANlll 7 months ago
The Bible is the world's oldest game of telephone! Hahaha!
fuschiadea 7 months ago
Telephone is where people whisper and can't ask what the person said. Come on, guys, look deeper into your research than stand up comedy. Go for some books. Look into the Dead Sea Scrolls. You'll learn more than from this dude.
GodsWildfire 8 months ago
@GodsWildfire All religion is bullshit. The only thing holy books are good for is backup toilet paper.
batman 7 months ago 24
@batman What makes you say that? Cool username, by the way.
GodsWildfire 7 months ago
@batman Stop saying GOD help me when you get in trouble and call on the devil.
lllBADMANlll 7 months ago
@batman Also, if you're at a hotel, backup rolling paper. It turns out that the Gideon Bible is printed on rolling paper.
You can start with Genesis 1, or if you prefer jump right ahead to page 420.
LoutheFinger 7 months ago
@batman lol true
MrZeroSummer 7 months ago
The bible is a big 'ol game of 'Chinese whispers.'
LogicalStatements1 8 months ago
Buster in the front row with the white collared shirt?
AllieKutrubis27 8 months ago
may the FSM see fit to reach his noodley appendages down from the heavens and highfive us all. ra-men.
TurboNemesis 8 months ago
@Teszchk
Godwin's law doesn't apply because I'm comparing genocide to genocide, not piddly crap like healthcare
nurb101 8 months ago
@Teszchk NOT locking up religious people is retarded.
TouchingYou 8 months ago
@TouchingYou I'd put them in a rocket and banish them to "Heaven." Heaven happens to be in the sky, and in the direction of the sun...
bl91978 8 months ago
thats some great shit
MoonPisces029 8 months ago
Lol
SevenRiderAirForce 8 months ago
Moses was better at being hitler than hitler: Genocide of multiple tribes, and giving youg virgin girls as slaves to his troops as a reward, where rape and adultery laws don't apply to property. God even got a cut (Numbers 31)
nurb101 9 months ago 3
@nurb101 Thanks for that. Numbers 31 is a good read. One wonders why religious folk don't quote it more.
victorbarovsky 7 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
They entered into a covenant to seek the Lord, the God of their fathers, with all their heart and soul; and everyone who would not seek the Lord, the God of Israel, was to be put to death, whether small or great, whether man or woman, or the teenage mutant ninja turtles (2 Chronicles 15:12-13 NAB)
TheFockerizer 9 months ago
I THINK WE SHOULD LOCK UP ALL RELIGIOUS PEOPLE IN MENTAL HOSPITALS. They are a danger to society.
TouchingYou 9 months ago 6
@TouchingYou I wouldn't agree with that/ I would just try to keep them away from children.
KINGofGUNS 8 months ago
This clip is hilarious.
Phx411 9 months ago
Ever notice how folks that have never read the Bible always have the most crap to say about it?.. Why dont these educated fools make fun of the Koran?.. it's a religious favorite too? let's see how long get laughs out of that.. go head.."I DARE YOU TO LAUGH AT THE KORAN AND AND MAKE FUN OF ISLAM" this is a free country say it, I double dog dare you. what day does the world celebrate the resurrection of muhammed? atheist holiday is april 1st....
MrJohnshopkins53 9 months ago
I am not very educated on this subject and for a time I bought this argument. However, doesn't the finding of the dead sea scrolls negate this argument?
Decentralism 9 months ago
@Decentralism The dead sea scrolls do contain much of the same scriptures that are in the bible. Mostly the books of the prophets from what I understand, but in a different dialect. The Qumran community is regarded as a proto-Christian group by some scholars, that is, traditional Judaism with an entirely new eschatology. However, the scriptures of Qumran and the Bible are supposed to be much older than those documents of the dead sea, some of them going back as far as 800 BC.
jessemaurais 9 months ago
@Decentralism no the dead sea scrolls does not negate this argument. when he says stories that were written down 30 to 60 years later hes talking about the gospels which were passed down for decades by word of mouth and were finally written down later by highly educated greek speaking people, not the aramaic speaking disciples who probably couldnt even write in that language.
the dead sea scrolls is the old testament, hes pretty much talking about the new testament
oneadamtwelve86 9 months ago
@oneadamtwelve86 You are completely right, I don't know how I missed that ending. I watched it again, thanks for pointing that out. I suspect the theist could make the arg that if the re-translation efforts stayed so accurate when compared to the dead sea scrolls, the same *could* potentially be said for the gospels...once they were written especially given that they were written way after the old testament. the problem of course being the decades of it being kept oral.
Decentralism 9 months ago
Well, I tried to edit the clip for David to not sound like he knows nothing about prophecy, and dates in the bible..... But it just made even less sense.
Yes, Dave is a poor Bill Hicks impersonator.....but without the intellect.
steelski01 10 months ago
David Cross is such a douchebag. I hate his smarmy, cheap attempt at comedy. "HURR CHRISTIANS R DUM LOL" as if that hasn't been done to death and a million times better by literally everyone who ever did it before him.
neroxtreme1380 10 months ago
@neroxtreme1380 "as if that hasn't been done to death.." Who cares if it's been done to death? Until religion goes away, intelligent comedians will continue to bash religion because religion is a joke that never gets old. When you laugh at something, it loses power. And religion needs to lose power. So it's important for as many comedians as possible to expose religion for what bullshit it is. The point of being a comedian is not to get laughs, but to change the world through laughter.
TurquoiseCowboy 9 months ago
religion = control.
mcgriddles4u 10 months ago
Atheists don''t believe in hell
Tell atheists they'll go to hell
randomguy434 10 months ago 3
so true
lordmat666 10 months ago
We Europeans would still be worshiping Thor if the Romans had not attacked us and brought in Christianity.
The really wild thing is that Islam, Judaism and Christianity all were spun off the same writings and have the same prophets and they hate each other.
This is one fucked up planet.
CosmosPrivateer 10 months ago 14
best anti-bible argument I've heard in a while, hats off to you sir
Tw1St3DSt33L 10 months ago 15
sweet. david looks like the lead singer of crowbar now...
Kingsnake1 11 months ago
epic
PlayerHater412 11 months ago 2
This comment has received too many negative votes show
I am gonna be straight up. He is probably going to hell. David, we won't miss you
emanubano 11 months ago
@emanubano
Are you saying this speech is deserving of an eternal punishment?
Kruttkuse 11 months ago
@emanubano Somehow you religious folks tends to think that saying "You're going to hell" to someone is the greatest insult of all time.
olekiar 11 months ago 143
@olekiar i love when they say that
but preach to everyone that only God can judge
DoYouKnowJimmy 11 months ago
@olekiar B/c theres a red guy whos gonna poke us in the tukhus(butt) when we get there ;)
I feel bad for people who believe that shit. Theyve been brainwashed to the point where they cant fully enjoy the one life you have, on earth. Heaven and Hell dont exsist. Anyone who claims to have "crossedover" are either lying or they experienced a endorphine high, which happens when your brain thinks its dying. Massive amount of seratonine is releasedgiving a euphoric feeling as you hallucinate "heaven"
JD0x0 9 months ago
@emanubano You better praise the FSM because if not when you die you'll go to ThreateningImaginaryLand! It's really bad there too. I promise.
batman 11 months ago 79
@batman how can i repent?!
dechav1 8 months ago
@dechav1 Watch lots of porn.
batman 8 months ago
@batman done!
dechav1 8 months ago
@batman BATMAN!
TheHeavenSniper 8 months ago
@batman ThreateningImaginaryLand! it's true!!
stratocaster539 8 months ago
@stratocaster539
T.I.L the day you die. (see what I did there?)
FatherOfGray 8 months ago
@batman The Pastafarian conception of Heaven includes a beer volcano and a stripper factory. The Pastafarian Hell is similar, except that the beer is stale and the strippers have sexually transmitted diseases.
wallstreetatheist 5 months ago
@emanubano Idiot
NRock2404 11 months ago
@emanubano haha, youre such a troll
Chubachus 11 months ago
@emanubano And yet more emotional blackmail from an arrogant, hypocritical, willfully ignorant, fat, toothless, pew-sittin', trailer-livin', adulterous, slothful, jealous, greedy, cheap, "christian". What a surprise.
richwfd2002 9 months ago
YouTube Comments, answering the big questions in life.
BraveRobot 1 year ago
It went from "Man Jesus was a pretty cool dude" to "Jesus is the messiah who can turn water to wine and walk on water and rise from the dead"
That is a pretty rad game of telephone! That's how I want to be remembered!
uiruu 1 year ago
Completely true. Historical fiction created through chinese whispers and a bucketload of illiterate Bronze Age superstition that made the world's most mainstream mythology.
But David started talking about things about the future that seemed antiquated in hindsight when reading the Bible now and he doesn't give any (of the countless) examples in this clip. Was that cut out? Oh, well.
viridismonasteriense 1 year ago
see"Was Jesus good man or mad man"
rationalatheist100 1 year ago