SMBC Theater - Pick Up Lines

[camronm21]

I definitely have that calculus book.

[TheFunnyRussia]

Dude is that your mom? Thats disgusting

[alidan]

that extremely wrong one acts just like me, i use the same style of pickup lines, if a woman cant lol it off she isnt worth trying for.

i have injured my penis doing... well something really stupid... if the condom broke i would say something hilariously inappropriate, and i would totally fake premature ejaculation but would mention hotter girl first.

and i learned to play fighing games with 1 hand for a reason.

[Ongarukat]

@alidan So in other words, you're a jerk? Thanks for letting the world know in advance, so that we can avoid dating you. :)

[alidan]

@Ongarukat meh, not a jerk, just really board of everything. whats the point of liveing if i cant find something to amuse myself with?

if a woman cant lol at a creepy pickup line, than she is humorless and i dont want to be around her.

if we are breaking up and she asks why in a situation she should know why, i would totally fuck with her.

the way i act helps me find the more... twisted people in the world, people i like being around,

[Out4Blood4CA]

Eat popcorn. Touch him on the penis.

[emadrio]

I have the same calculus book, they came out with the 7th edition this year and it made me a sad panda.

[feligirl01]

I love the little celebration after that successful pickupline XD

[TheVarsh86]

wish my boyfriend was romantic enough to hide his penis in his coffee :(

[AvRhCo1]

@fdaen But that would ruin the setup for "Loneliness Done Extremely Wrong". XD

[koolaidman]

lmao HULK SMASH~!~~~!!!!

[TimeSplinter777]

smbc=suck my big cock

[xXPaRaDoXiCXx]

Love how loneliness is also to read "Kickin´ Babies and Takin´ Names".

[OozeOfOldOaks]

To be honest, the "bad" break ups would be better since it's way easyer to get over anger and discust than sadness :)

[RaymondBarragan]

...I didn't know Xbox had Pacman..?

[Jtomczak7959]

Thumbs up if you saw the "Kickin' Babies and Taking Names" in the loneliness done right section!

[TheDounttron]

Sexy time done right: Touch him on the penis.

[Kerrandrius]

Among the books of Loneliness Done Right: "Kickin' Babies and Taking' Names".

[stilldistrakted]

In the future, SMBC, you might want to reconsider having Kelly's extremely nice backside steal focus as in the scene "Breakup done extremely wrong." It's unprofessional, but seriously, damn that's a nice ass. So jealous.

[tsujikiri]

@stilldistrakted Yeah, watching that wiggle as she ran around the corner was amazing!

[mrfishyfishy]

Damn, I guess I'm really bad at loneliness...

[Ogapple]

Is it wrong if I thought that the calculation for masturbation+video games was a great idea?

[NightmareGanon]

I think a couple of the people who hit dislike have hid their penises in coffee.

[DLegislature]

@NightmareGanon Or their lady friends didn't reach into that popcorn and touched them on the penis.

[TheFunnyRussia]

@NightmareGanon I disliked it caus im pretty sure that that girl was his mom...

[puresatire]

@TheFunnyRussia isn't that girl zack's wife?

[medina18233]

i want a montauk shirt!!



[Goldbloodeddragon]

i miss the good old days of smbc :(

[Shiizi]

hulk smash!

hahaha so epic xD

[cakeninja57]

the best pick up line "hey want lunch then u can touch my penis

[sgtmjames]

my favorite pick up line from smbc PICK-UP LINES that don't work

i can orgasm on command but only during the first two minutes of sex.

[BGood156]

It may just be me, but but I don't think that reading a book about kicking babies is "Loneliness done right." Bottom book of the pile on the right.

[btmnahtanoj]

Press 4 for hilarious face.

[ianflowforever]

Loneliness done wrong could be surrounded by many women.

Either that, or the horribly wrong could involve some tomb raider....

[dragonfly876]

... This is a little bit like every relationship joke ever made in the comics.

[smegace]

Thumbs up for carbonated apple cider....

[Picturesontheradio]

The best part about penis-popcorn is it's self buttering.

[freddy21421]

Haha, I've used at least 2 of those books at 2:44 for school.

[sweetsoad]

I can't stop laughing at the face he makes when he offers her the coffee.

Priceless.

[Kogerii]

His facial expressions make this skit.

1:22 The best one.

[NightmareGanon]

This one is probably the one closest to smbc comics.

[Elolzabeth]

D: Don't listen to trolls, Kelly and Jon! You guys are frickin' hot!

This is my all time favorite Jon Brence video. At 0:39 when he's making that face, oh man, priceless.

[StrawberryBoy100]

1:45, He's still wearing pants. XD ant at 1:57, he's wearing underpants. LOL.

[StrawberryBoy100]

LOL @ 1:20 The way he says "No", and his expression are PRICELESS.

[StrawberryBoy100]

okay, Sorry lady he likes, but you are REALLY UGLY. Get some longer hair and try some make-up... you look sort of like a young woman who looks old.... stop smoking or something.

[YourXavier]

Sorry, StrawberryBoy100, but you have NO taste in women. Try dating a barbie doll or something.

[StrawberryBoy100]

@YourXavier It isn't my fault I don't like wrinkly MANLY women.

I don't like barbies either.

Is it so bad to want a girl inbetween who isn't manly and isn't a barbie???

[YourXavier]

@StrawberryBoy100

You don't like, you don't watch. Your current behavior just screams 'RETARD'.

[StrawberryBoy100]

@YourXavier

Shut up. I watched this for the funny, not the girl.

Gtfo n00b.

[YourXavier]

@StrawberryBoy100

Then why comment on the girl? If you didn't watch it for the girl, then surely whether or not you find her attractive is irrelevant, right?

[StrawberryBoy100]

@YourXavier

I commented on the girl because it's a free country and I can comment on what I want to comment on. She just happened to draw my attention, and after watching this several times, I started noticing she was ugly.

The guy is kinda ugly too. He has a big funny nose.

[YourXavier]

@StrawberryBoy100

"it's a free country and I can comment on what I want to comment on"

Indeed you can. Just like I can call you a dipshit for doing so. Funny how that works.

[GloballyImportant]

Paccables Canon ftw

[princedepressia]

Watch him play Ms. Pacman, then touch him on the penis.

[bella1o1o]

HULK SMASH! THE CONDOM BROKE!!!!!!!!1

[avbtrb]

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahahahahahahahahaha I'd show this to my in-laws XD

[ShagadelicAbby]

Someone better call heaven cause it's gonna take a miracle to cure that face.

[regentKraken]

bwahaha! 2:42 "Kicking Babies and Takin' Names"!

from "Genie" /watch?v=A0y5dHmVRIc

[butteredtoastdotorg]

Wait, I'm doing loneliness right? :D Hell, yeah!

[trekkiebaby]

Hahahaha omg yes!

[CepheusStarhowl]

WHAT SICK FUCK JERKS OFF TO MS. PACMAN

You freaks need help

Jesus can help you

*Jerks off to Tauren porn from World of Warcraft*

[slacknhash]

@CepheusStarhowl You're absolutely right! Jesus did help me.

*Jerks off to Jesus porn*

[silntdoogood]

LOL "hulk smash!"

[CrowJam]

well fck i do loneliness extremely bad

[Tuxlar]

I jizzed in my pants?

[JustHaveFUN221]

"Someone call Heaven, 'cause it's gonna take a miracle to cure these herpes."

Hahahaha, oh gosh, Jon is adorable. xD

[HenrytheGerbil]

The Stewart Calculus Book!!! I wish.... I got stuck with Rogawski....

[Vladislav101]

This guy remind anyone of Quagmire?

[tbeaar05]

Hulk Smash xD

[skamakozi]

Did anyone else recognize the porn music at the end? Surprised?

[Grug16]

Upvote this comment if you hate the new layout.

[sumi66]

@Grug16 Leave thumb whoring for Funnyjunk, since no one cares about that site anyway.

[fdaen]

As for recommending books that appear in this sketch on the Loneliness scene, definetely my pick is "Kicking Babies and Taking Names."

[sigurdgram]

The last part is my favorite because the loneliness is being shown as he goes through it. he studies calc, uses his knowledge to find out if he can beat it and game at the same time, and uses his answer to masturbate at ms. pacman.

[RyanH181]

He came three times in this video.

[LeviathAileron]

It's not weird that you counted xD

[jogiff]

What a coincidence. So did I!

[RobinHood3000]

That we noticed.

[holycow818181]

@RyanH181 I counted four, if we're including both "Hulk Smash!" and Ms Pacman.

[Rymel]

I have that calc textbook!

[Kabandcur]

Yeah, Stewart's is the most ubiquitous calc textbook out there, and it's one of the best. I've taught a course out of it. That said it's generally not recreational reading, even for a mathematician. I recommend Neil Gaiman's "The Graveyard Book".

[equalcharliebrown]

Break-up done extremely right:

"it's you"

[manfuckthisshit]

It's funny because he's scrawny and hideous.

[jonbrence]

When 900 years you reach, look as good, you will not.

[sigurdgram]

I disagree, but I do think BOTH of them look better with glasses on.

[phytoalexa]

This is the bajillionth time I've watched (and rated!) this video and I've only just noticed the book entitled "Kickin' Babies and... ", ROFL.

[xxVampirePenguinxx]

Broke up with a girl, and I JIZZED. IN. MY PANTS.

[ThumbMeDown1]

Hulk Smash!

[ManofTreason]

That's the calculus book i have....

No level of loneliness is worth reading that

[7410n0]

@ManofTreason Yeah, Stewart's Calc is terrible

[anubis2814]

@ManofTreason me too lol

[athf226]

@ManofTreason I have the newer edition. It's not too bad. I've read worse. Of course, I also enjoy math...

[Bananaishness]

@ManofTreason Haha. Me too!

[peanutfoot]

Huh... I'm doing everything wrong... No wonder.

[AtomikNY]

Well, at least I'm doing the loneliness part right. LOL, back to studying Chinese characters and not getting laid...

[fdaen]

Kelly is the best biologist-actress ever.

This is my second favorite so far (Russian Roulette wins), I'd only change the "Loneliness Done Wrong" to Jon solving a huge equation in order to devise the best bonus on a RPG character stat or something. :p

SMBC Theater is awesome.

[KillaBoy04]

@fdaen Yeah, I think she's probably the best actress out of all of the cast members.

[Dorminay42]

I don't know. I think that the loneliness done wrong in the video is funnier, but I don't really see how that's doing it wrong. Masturbating while playing video games is difficult, but it also makes you a god if you can play the game well at the same time.

[GoombaDaddy]

@fdaen and then what would the last skit be? him masturbating to the RPG character kicking ass due to that bonus? how bout not

[kingblargle]

thats me at the end

[kburtsev]

Haha, me too! :) But what's wrong?

[HammerOfDoubt]

2:36 I would tear that ass up something fierce.

[valkyrio]

hahahahaha.

Maybe Kelly will find that flattering...

[fdaen]

@valkyrio it IS a copliment. Her biology blog is actually pretty well written, and ALL sketches she was in made me laugh so far.

[Lieslob]

Good concept. - imho worst male actor ever, not funny at all.

[frndlybnny]

John is hilarious!  And adorable...

[Dorminay42]

Man, all these haters be trippin. While I do not agree with what you have to say, I would defend to the death your right to say it. Well, maybe not to the death, but...okay, honestly, I don't care at all.

[bellowheadfan]

Awesome quoting.

[Flak0r]

The Clone Trooper pillows sold it

[Rathdei]

oh god that was awesome

[ChoujiAkimichi]

HULK SMASH!

[damesh]

The actor has some hilarious facials. This is probably the best SMBC Theater, really well done guys.

[SteveCentra]

What's the name of the song that plays in between each scene? I sounds so familiar.

[pummisher]

@SteveCentra It's the old Cnet Mail with Molly Wood theme.

[SteveCentra]

Thanks! It got stuck in my head.

[spearman792]

@pummisher I was hoping I wasn't the only one to recognize that haha

[sjvan0]

After "Sorry Honey" this one has to be my favourite. Utterly hilarious.

[misterknite]

that guy is hilarious!

[schumacherenator]

That face at 2:03 is so precious

[MSassGL]

0:29 LMFAO

[linux750]

lol. this was hilarious. i have been reading the Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal comic for a while and i wasn't sure if these SMBC theater shorts were any good, but im glad i watched this.

[sellij2]

Oh sweet baby Jesus!!! I'm...speechless, but I am not yet certain if it's in a good way or a "mentally scarred for all-time" way... Great video though, guys!!!

[velvetturtles]

Yeah, they chose the right guy for this video lol

[BannedennaB]

terrible

[gnool]

LOL that dudes faces are funny as!

[darklyl]

Rofl-worthy. Best one yet!!

[ApplePiePodDuex]

I cried.

I love you.

[ComplexityComplex]

haha, at 2:42 you can see "KICKIN' BABIES AND TAKIN' NAMES" from their sketch The Genie.

[Killbot20k]

good eye

[RoboHippo]

@ComplexityComplex

Well spotted! xD

[Atrix256]

The SMBC vids started off pretty good but i think they are actually getting better and better! wow great vid, best yet haha

[aanijabibi]

i am wearing red undies lol...don't ask meh why i am telling you this

[metallicakixtotalass]

ROFL he has the same calculus textbook as me! XD ... that book sucks balls...

P.S. I lawl'd at the "IS YOUR PENIS IS THAT COFFEE???" part

[babylonian]

Jon Brence was so motherfucking funny in this one.

On the other hand, YouTube should probably enforce a maximum number of male orgasms depicted in each video. And that number should be way closer to 0 than however many were in this bit.

[brookewheaton]

lol so funny

[davebo357]

I don't care for how this video comes off as poking fun of those who masturbate while playing Ms. Pacman. What this world needs is less judging and more love... of Ms. Pacman.

[dumbzebra]

@davebo357 that slut´s a hawty

[chazjo]

Did anyone see the book 'Kickin Babies' and Takin' N...' book in the loneliness part?

[FlipJick]

Thanks for pointing that out! That's awesome! *Sweet spot*

[Ravalexand]

Ive actually used that line. "its not you its me".. And i was cringing inside as i said it. i had to shower for 5 hours to get teh feeling of cliché off of me

[aimRaptor]

Hey, I have that same diff eq textbook!

[rber0]

I totally have that Differential Equations book.

[Ssalamanderr]

Eat the popcorn, touch him on the penis.

Love the pick up lines.

[613TheEvil]

I thought the break up bad scenario would be "It's not me, it's you." I didn't get the worst scenario though... Very good video anyway!

[moj0llama]

He jizzed. Right in front of her

[pmrayquatra]

Omg YES! I love the extremely wrong pickup line and breakup line the most.

[lolzomfgmen]

Yes, it is Pachelbel's Canon.

[WarWrecker]

Man, Jon's face is just perfect for those expressions, being wrong was never so right...

[JLynxton]

Not as well done as cosmotopian was, but still a funny video! Congrats!

[CaptSoap2]

Best video so far! Nice job, guys

[GodaiGamer]

Nothing says "sexy time" like a Star Wars pillow!

[headshotsforalivin]

ROFL at "hulk smash"

[RichGilly]

Mrs.Packman, you whore!

[voxiphiliac]

Oh Ms. Pacman, that sexy minx...

Amazing job, y'all.

[Bshere]

this was freakin hilarious...and someone needs to tell me where i can find the kickin babies book. I searched on google and can't find jack!

[PaulWozniak]

I love his faces

[basser]

Oh god, lost so hard at "hulk smash!!!"

Good work guys, this is the first one I've found myself laughing uncontrollably at! Usually I can keep my giggles quiet but there was just no way this time. xD

[ZombieSlayer54]

Tell Jon that he has traumatized more for life, if you would. Specifically the last scene.

I can never, ever look at Ms. Pacman in the same way again.

[burnyourfriendsx]

"It's not you, it's my gay t-shirt."

[oscar8563]

Hilarious! XD

[tehsandman21]

1:52 AHAHAHA

[thistlewood]

Are you hiding your PENIS in that COFFEE?!

[Edgrr13]

My god...Thanks for the life lesson XD

[rkt739]

Anyone else notice that one of the books in Loneliness Done Right is called "Kickin' Babies and Takin' Names"?

[Jack827]

Nice one. I noticed it on my 6th watch through.

[karenfunk91]

Someone listens to the Lost podcast with Jay and Jack.

[Terrakinetic]

0:25 That's more of a serial killer look than 0:38

[fdaen]

My favorite one so far was the Russian Roulette one. So far being the keyword. This is AWESOME.

Kelly is great at these "girlfriend in awkward situations" roles, I cant stop watching it!

5/5

[antichason]

That's because she is constantly in an awkward situation... being around Zach.

[homer52486]

HULK SMASH

[bywordorbysword]

it would have been really funny if he would have came in the popcorn or coffee.

[mvfusion]

I have that calculus book!

[slashemp]

I had it back in high school :D I remember the day I realized they included the cello because the engraving looks like an integral sign...

[badassninjaman]

FUCK YEAH MARTINELLI'S APPLE CIDER