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From: USA4July1776
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  • He was a genius

  • This man was one of the individuals who inspired me to major in philosophy. Thank you George!

  • I miss you so much George. At the same time I kind of envy you, you don't have to listen to the bullshit ever again. But damn, do I ever miss you.

  • The MASTER!

    

  • very good vid. love it.

  • hes so right. we have piled bullshit on top of ourselves

  • His videos should be played for educational purposes to kids!

  • Someone doesn't understand psychology (and its need for precise terminology)...

    ...it's George Carlin.

  • @TheInimitableKaka fuck off.

  • I can't be the only one to feel like I'm listening to a history lesson.

  • "Unwilling sperm recipient" LOL wtf

  • @rserevan no...its puke not wet dream

  • this guy speaks the fucking truth! !

  • I've never had a problem telling people that I am an old cripple. It's true and it directly describes my condition. Went to a new doctor the other day. He asked me if I had always been crippled (I had never used the term in his presents). Right off I thought, I like this guy.

  • Greedy assholes are now "job creators"

  • @simplyReed :,D Well played, sir.

  • he's not dead, he's bzzzt!, gone away. it was the only euphemism he allowed himself.

  • 10 idiots just don't get it.

  • Ahh George Carlin. You are the only Human I can Relate Too in Thinking...You are greatly missed.

  • The most gripping one for me is 'Drug addiction turned into substance abuse'

  • No it isn't dumbass. Thats the whole point, you can have any opinion you want .Honestly I hate all of the human race. Look up the definition of nigger, then blow me.

  • "involuntary protein spill" for "vomit" - I laughed hard at that one

  • "Israeli murderers called commandoes?!"...I didn't know that George was anti-Semite...

  • @cinamonrocknroll1 Arabs are Semites too... and you obviously missed the entire point of his rant.

    

  • @sprockettongue arabs are semites too but term "anti-semitic" usually reefers to jew hater. Calling Israeli commandos murderers is pretty anti-semitic. If I would refer to american commandos as "murderers" I would sound very anti american. Don't you think?

  • @cinamonrocknroll1 OMG, you really don't get this... and you don't get Carlin. He goesnt ever use soft, PC language, but that doesn't mean he hates jews. He was not talking about all jews, just the well known counts of Israeli snipers shooting civilians and being euphemized as commandos. He also calls out the CIA but I don't think that means he hates Americans. You are being the exact hyper sensitive PC type he finds ridiculous... lighten up.

  • @cinamonrocknroll1 He's not. He's someone who is looking at something objectively, something lost in the country.

  • It makes it all so much better that I'm hearing this with the same ears that listened to Thomas and the Tank engine. Carlin's voice opened up my imagination then and it enlightens me now. RIP.

  • The practise of retaining the definition of statements through the elaboration of one's vocabulary to extract the maximum value of emotional impact has developed a result of the stated action becoming a joyous performance of hilarity where the practisioners are likened to the society of greater wealth in the crown country of the United Kingdom during its ruling by the horizontally challenged majesty Victoria, as well as caused ones self to appear boasting of false superiority over ones comradery

  • Listen to the whole thing. It's intelligent, direct and sincere.

    Then realize that this man is dead.

    WHY

  • I believe in the bible,But I cant make it work in a world like this.

  • he is so right, he may have been the most important white dude of the century. our lives are kinda far from reality right now

  • "It's a beautiful thing, the destruction of words" -Syme, 1984

  • "Passed away" or simply "passed" is a big pet peeve of mine. They're DEAD! "Passing" is something you do on the road when the car in front of you is going too slowly. When a person is dead, he or she is dead. Just say it. I think it's a Christian thing and/or something people say when they didn't encounter death at a young age. My grandfather died when I was 3 and my father died when I was 11. They DIED. They didn't "pass".

  • 9 people can go have involuntary relationships with themselves in their personal landfill

  • FUCKING BRILLIANT

  • George Carlin hasn't passed away....that fucker is DEAD.

  • @brian81877 just the way he would have wanted it said!

  • @brian81877 god needed some advise

  • @brian81877 You know what, I bet George is down there, screaming up at us.

  • @brian81877 he has become God when he died. In his own little world now he can give no shit about his people!

  • its so true...chinese is so straight forward...theres only one or two words to describe one thing...but in english there's like 37849283295 ways to say the same thing. Chinese is not a graceful language at all...but it gets to the point.

  • I said the words "involuntary personal protein spill" during conversation with one of my friends who had never heard this before, and he laughed himself into collapse, and couldnt stop laughing nor stand for a good 5 solid minutes.

  • My roommate introduced me to this guy a week ago...I love this guy.

  • Israelis murderers = commandos

    Arab commander = terrorists

    wow ........

  • Thank the Universe for Occupy Everything. The last thing we need is everybody talking like Mister Spock.

  • This man was one in a zillion....RIP George

  • Where is the video of Carlin and euphemisms? It was here, on YT, I remember watching it. It was in 2008 and then 2009 but I wouldn't think it'd be taken down...

  • I couldn't agree with this guy more if I tried, he has a way of "applying direct pressure" to the head of the proverbial "wood attachment device".

  • genius, and sadly, all too true.

  • love Carlin!

  • I agree with him. However, he makes the common mistake of saying "Americans" have this problem.... Actually, humanity has the problem. Confucius complained about this very phenomenon thousands of years ago in China. But I guess certain people derive a certain kind of perverted fun from slamming their own country.

  • @EternalAnachronism And it seems certain people derive a certain kind of perverted fun from slamming other people.

  • @emremokoko, yes, this is true. But I hope you realize that this is what Carlin made a career out of.

  • @EternalAnachronism I'm not trying to be a flamer or anything like that, but why should be proud of America. Nationalism is nonsense and can be used as a tool to control people. There's no reason to be proud of the place you were born.

  • @ilikehairbands, When did I say anything about nationalism?

  • @EternalAnachronism With your annoyance at him "slamming" America you seem to have implied it pretty well.

  • @ilikehairbands, Not at all. And this is where you have to consider your own prejudices, as they influence people to interpret things the way they do. If I say you shouldn't slam a person, that's not synonymous with saying that you should be a cheerleader for him. A person who slams America is foolish and childish. It simply means that he doesn't really know what life is like elsewhere. It's the same phenomenon as when a person is harder on those around him than on strangers.

  • @ilikehairbands, Sometimes those around you (e.g., neighbors) can SEEM worse than other people because you know them better, warts and all. This is why they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. But a wise person keeps things in perspective. As for Carlin, I didn't notice the dried-out old cynic living anywhere but America. And with his money, he certainly could have been his old miserable self anywhere he wanted.

  • @ilikehairbands

    Well stated. 

  • lol epic, thanks for sharing XD

  • This reminds me of how the city of Oakland eliminated crime on East 14th Street. They changed its name to International Boulevard. Yippie! Way to go Oakland. There is no crime on East 14th street in Oakland anymore! Now all Oakland has to do is eliminate all the crime on International Boulevard and the city will be safe. :)

  • Drug Addiction became Substance Abuse...doesn't that change makes the sheep herd think more negative of Drug Addicts, now they aren't no more Addicts that might have some problems, no now they are Abusers, what's next Chemical Cannibals or Pill Pedophiles. I think and say it loud: These changes are by design...or they are complete morons that suffer from a thinking disorder.

  • News reporters now refer to rape as "sexual assault."  We don't have rapists, child-molesters or perverts. Now we have "sex offenders," or people who commit "sexual misconduct."

    No one is shy anymore. They suffer from "social anxiety." No one daydreams. They experience "attention deficit." No one is a nerd. They have "asperger's syndrome." And no one is a fop. The fops have become the "metrosexuals."

  • @ShawnRavenfire

    What the fuck does being a nerd have to do with Asperger's? 

  • @ShawnRavenfire

    .....because sexual "assault" goes down much smoother than "rape".

  • @ShawnRavenfire

    Asperger's is an actual disorder.

    Now, many nerds self-diagnose with Aspergers' when they're socially inept, but it's an actual disease.

    In fact, a lot of people with Aspergers' have better social skills than nerds.

  • @Paynegwynn That's true. I'm only going by people I've met who claimed to have it. I don't know if I ever met anyone who really did have it.

  • He is a sort of healthy Medicine

    It makes people laugh n this is the Real Have a nice day rather than ....

  • @OptimusPrime289 lol kudos man. 

  • @OptimusPrime289 It's the same thing, dammit!

  • I puked when I saw him dead.

    I engaged in an involuntary protein spill when I witnessed that he had engaged in a therapeutic misadventure.

    Now which one do you understand XD

  • @flipstud32

    I thought you were saying you jizzed your pants until I heard the end of the video.

  • @flipstud32 both

  • Absolutely GREAT.

  • Now it's called "post-traumatic stress" because the word "disorder" implies that something is wrong with the person. Because you know, when a veteran shoots up his office because he thought his boss yelling at him was some brown guy tasing his balls, theres nothing wrong with him.

  • Well domestic violence encompasses more than wife-beating. My school defines poor grades as "competent" it's like, the word means able... bullshit

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  • My favourite is "Enhanced interrogation techniques" instead of Torture. Makes me want to engage in an involuntary personal protein spill too, George.

  • I love u man!!!

  • -(cont) that was a private conversation. I don't care about what he says to a scheming gold-digger. Everybody knows the distinction of said conversation. Niggers exist in every race. Oh...were you offended by that? Fuck you, I'm an american and its my right. Don't hesitate to reciprocate. If you're an American its your right to disagree, but you can't shut me up because of it. Fuck people with their Lonestar cards. My taxes buy these dicks; candy, soda and energy drinks, while they drive a lexus

  • I bet George Carlin didn't give a shit, but he probably was on Mel Gibson's side like I am. Sure, he said some things that offended people,but who gives a shit? Any one of the people that attack him for drinking a bottle of Tequila, and then spewing forth some crazy shit (which ANYONE is GUARANTEED to do drinking as much as he did) is a hypocrite or a liar. In America you are supposed to be allowed to offend people. It pisses me off that everyone here has such a thin skin. As for his phone call-

  • @MDizzle3282 How offensive to George Carlin that you lump him in with a wife beating racist alcoholic like Mel Gibson.

  • @angelwhite Oh well, deal with it. Niggers exist in all races. Jews are oppressive and want everyone to apologize for anything said. Anti-Semite is a trick used by Jews into getting more money. Fuck you,women get away with shit that if a man did, he would get his ass beat.

  • @MDizzle3282 Dont try to demoralize us, were more civilized that niggers.

  • @MDizzle3282 Jews are oppressive? WTF? N@#$#@ exist in all races?!!? You just label entire group of people as oppressive?!?! How calling someone anti-semite gets jews money you talking about?!?! What a stupid dumbass you are!

  • @cinamonrocknroll1 I can say what I want. Don't be jealous you can't. I'm allowed to offend in America. I don't have to apologize because something I said made your butt hurt. I don't like Jews either, they all act like they were in the "holocaust". Yes, niggers exist in all races. You are the stupid dumb-ass.

  • @MDizzle3282 Racism is illegal in America you stupid trash! Do you even like yourself? I don't think so.

  • @cinamonrocknroll1

    racism is not illegal you dolt.

  • @mikeyanagita1 Racism is not illegal if you live in Zimbabwe and if you do please don't bring that crap to the civilized world.

  • @cinamonrocknroll1 wow youre statement is very racist... why is zimbabwe not part of the civilized world?

  • @ulfgundarsson you know very little about Zimbabwe, do you? When why to even comment?!

  • @MDizzle3282 I think George wouldn't have pissed on Mel if he were on fire.

  • KING

  • People don't question things mainly because of words like these. The point of the soft language is just what Carlin says the effect of it is, it softens the words, and covers the true meaning in jargon. If the US ever needs to depopulate something, they can do so, because no one questions what that REALLY means, just "The government will take care of us" and "we have a population problem as it is".

  • A book from US studies class had a bunch of military euphemisms that people use to make it sound like things are nicer than they are in war :P I do really hate how everyone always uses soft language though, I prefer words that actually express what you mean.

  • I feel proud of myself though for already know the "neutralize" thing. It was funny, Leon said it on Resident Evil 4, and I was like "You mean you killed him?"

  • Therapeutic misadventure. That needs to be the name of some story or band.

  • Where is this recording from?

  • @gujadhurv I think it's from his album Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics.

  • @Aqquila89 Thanks!!

  • It's weird to hear him speak like that, he usually sounds a lot angrier.

  • Here in the UK, the original birthplace of the English Language, we have a saying which goes something like this - "a spade is a spade, so why not call it that". Basically it means say exactly what you mean & don't mince your words - don't go all airy fairy just to spare blushes or hurt feelings. In Yorkshire, UK people are known for blunt speaking & you know EXACTLY where you stand with them. Americans are equally well known for word embroidery - simple words and expressions turned PC crap.

  • @Gavestonful Please apologize to the rest of the UK on how much we've fucked up the English language.

  • bullshit! your son is fucking retarded!!! XD haha

  • You can tell that Carlin was influenced by George Orwell's 1984 with this speech.

  • @MadcapMacabre That good ol orwellian speak, isn't it beautiful how freedom means obidience to the goverment nowdays..."you get your freedom, IF YOU DO WHAT WE TELL YOU, peace"

  • This guy was too inteligent

  • @alessandrozitamusic theres no such thing as "too intelligent".

    You're doin it wrong.

  • He forgot one. You don't fuck a girl, you sleep with her. You don't cheat on your spouse either, you just sleep around.

  • @6:26 he talks about "years young"

  • Unwilling sperm recipient haha

  • Unwilling Sperm Recipient Rehabilitation Facility Service

  • FUCK ALL THAT. Life should be simple. Not all that long word crap.

  • @mongolenpup that...is so much win right there my friend

  • Thanks for the Carlin....BUT (prepares to duck) his live stuff seems...funnier.

  • @hirightnow I would agree. Doesn't make it any less worth listening though.

  • @hirightnow George Carlin was never a mere Comedian...he was always much much more than that.

  • @MadcapMacabre Hes the guy who would be in charge of the country in a better world. But not, the honest one is the joker and the liars and theives are in charge.

  • @MadcapMacabre Hes a philosopher

  • I wonder what they'll call someone like me as an Anime Fan and Gamer. They might call my love for Anime OOD (Oriental Obsession Disorder). I wonder they'll call Gamers in the future.

  • @TyRiders2 Electronically avid.

  • @TyRiders2 video game fanatics? lol

  • To take away the reality of our language is a nice simple evolution into a world of cold academic bullshit. Positivism, gotta love it. In fact, you HAVE to love it.

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  • I'm going to start using "involuntary personal protein spill" to refer to a puke just to see how people react to it.

  • Woow!!! isn't him was talking about "Modern English Language and Plitics" by George Orwell

  • Euphemisms can fool even intelligent people. I consider myself clever enough and I always knew soft words are used to hide hard facts. Yet every time I heard the word "sexual assault" I always thought it was something else than rape. I knew it involved hurting someone in a sexual way, but only when I read the word rape about the story, I realized what the real deal was. Euphemisms prevent thinking, whether you're good at it or not. It's no use if you're smart.

    ....Or maybe I'm just stupid :D

  • I miss George so very much..one of theseese brilliant human beings who told it like it is or was.

  • It's a global phenomena, not exclusive to the US.

  • George,if i can have you on stage once again...I really miss you,,,But,i guess this is what you achieved...there are people who will never forget you.there are people that have your speeches in their ipods like i do.there are people who woke up and start thinking about bullshit that is all around us thanks to you and your carefully choosen words.There are people who know better-people like you!

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  • I can think of situations where the reverse happened... i.e., cold sores became herpes

  • I had a great uncle in the Civil War (Union) who participated in some of the fiercest battles of 1862. After his capture in the Battle of Chantilly, he was released and subsequently discharged for "heart trouble" but this seemed strange since he died in his 80's. Upon later investigation, I eventually discovered this was vernacular for "Soldier's Heart". Soldier's Heart was the first term coined for what would later become Shell Shock, Battle Fatigue, Operational Exhaustion, and finally, PTSD.

  • It's so sad that he died before they came up with a euphemism for Torture (Enhanced Interrogation)! I would of loved to hear what his thoughts were on that!

  • While the comparatively plain reading might lose some of the comedic aspect, it only shines a greater light on the truth and honesty of what he's saying. The man is a patron saint of brutal honestly.

  • PTSD is a real condition and that's the psychological term. I love GC but he's mistaken. And PTSD applies to more situations than war.

  • @TeetoPlastic correction, it's PTS now. Drop the D!

  • @966631514 Strange... My up-to-date psychology texts, which I read while earning my degree, all said PTSD. And so does the DSM IV-TR, and so do all the healthcare providers at the psychiatric office where I work. Don't know where you got your info but I believe you're incorrect.

  • @TeetoPlastic PTS is just another euphemism being promoted by the army.

  • @966631514 Meaning "post traumatic stress"? That's stupid.

  • @966631514 There is no PTSD in the psychology world, post-traumatic stress is just a lazy way of saying it, because soldiers aren't out there getting post-traumatic stress disorder, they're reacting normally to things that the human body should not have to react to in any circumstances; when a vet comes home fucked up from the war, that's NORMAL, no doubt they need help, therapy, anything that can help, but don't downplay war simply by saying people ended up with PTSD

  • @WheelsNReels From what I understand, PTSD is what happens after too many flight reflex situations are triggered, it breaks down the human psyche.

  • @USA4July1776 yeah, I meant to just say PTS in that initial post;PTSD is totally real, and should be considered seriously, sorry for any mixup.

  • It's like he's telling a story Morgan Freeman-style.

  • It's strange to hear him reading his material. I still have this bit on one of his "live" HBO shows-on audio cassette. This is good stuff alright, I'm just not sure why he wanted to do that. Doesn't have that comedic impact like in a stage show.

  • @Clyntell54 It is from an audio book.

  • Need more direct & honest people like George Carlin!

  • @OptimusPrime289

    LOL! Oh yes! Forgive me for that Euphemism! LOL!

  • In the next presidential election I'm writing in George Carlin.

  • @max2right

    Too bad he passed away! :(

  • @gunmoon2Yes but he'd still make a better president.that anyone likely to run in either other party.

  • @max2right

    True that! :)

  • @max2right I will too. In fact, I suggest everyone do one thing in tribute to the 2012 Election: Wear a brown ribbon, informing the world that "The Public Sucks - Fuck Hope, Fuck Hope".

  • @max2right And you'd be wasting a vote. Might as well note vote at all.

  • @seemefearm Neither political party represents me or anyone I know. My vote is wasted anyway. No Incumben politician should be re-elected.

  • When they caught Hillary lying during her campaign, they said she "misspoke"...

  • Regarding PTSD: "I bet if they had called it shell shock, some of the Vietnam vets might have gotten the attention they needed."

    This is speculative bullshit.

  • @matthewR77 No, that is a joke.

  • This male individual demonstrates a fairly hilarious sense of humor.

    (He's so fucking funny)