Portal Turret-Speak

[thebaseballcardguru]

"Dispensing product."

I DON'T WANT WHAT YOU'RE SELLING!

[TerraEvolution]

Those scare the shyt out of me every time I play the game

[HerecomestheCalavera]

Come out bitch!

[MsCunningLinguistic]

The first time I heard this, I went 'AWWW WANNA PET THEM'.

Now I just screamed. And screamed. And screamed.

[TheRealBlackPuma]

I made a sound montage of the turret audio files that I now use as my ringtone. It feels right somehow.

[pchantharangsy]

AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA.

[TheSimsMusicCo]

GLaDOS would be.. My god.. What has she done to you?

[Anything2bCool]

<3

[MikiJackie]

TOO CUTE

[LeprechaunJazz]

Turret: Hey, put me down.

Me: ...Okay! *Drops turret over ledge*

[xLollipopSmilessx3]

These things scare the SHIT out of me when I play. I would literally scream & jump out of my seat when they started shooting me.

[MeltingCORE2]

I-I-I can't bring myself to shoot them. *gets shot*

[missystar013]

I have nightmares about them. They keep asking me why I killed them. And then they say "I don't hate you." ;_______;

[AllynEntertainment]

But I re-clicked the like button :)

[AllynEntertainment]

I accidentally clicked the dislike button :(

[Kellyrosetta]

I cant braek you turret.... i cant.....

[cajefosforo]

1:27 "Hey its me don´t shot T u T

[RashTopCompruter]

They're so cute!

[SameAdd]

0:18

[SameAdd]

0:19

[rasimalfoy]

ThinkGeek makes plush Turrets...that talk in the voice....way super cute

[dukedase7]

awwwwwwww

[ArmadilloFish]

I felt kinda bad when I killed my first turret, but Turrets never say anything nice to me, and they always wanna kill me. D:

I FEEL NO REMORSE.

[amandaMOFO]

If I asked Fluttershy to bring me my perfect pet, she would bring me a turret.

[Lishaaaaaaa]

T u T

So cute omg. When it says "Helloooo~?" I kill myself just to make them happy.

[flingleflang]

I don't hate yo

[CrazyPinkypie]

i always feel bad killing them XD

[alexcool19876]

thumbs up if you want a personal turret

[AlTheJuggernaut]

They need to make an app that works with your webcam for desktops that does this.

[irou95]

"target lost" "searching" "are you still there"

[entmage]

you got a Aperture Science Sentry Turret on your computer now, lol

[Serasia]

My friend found this on her phone and let me listen; I felt like running away especially at "Gotcha" and "There you are".

I haven't played Portals, but I have played Fragile Dreams on Wii, and there are enemy robots that say stuff like "If ID cannot be confirmed, target will be eliminated."

At one point in the game a robot traps the main character in a room of radioactive waste. I died in that place a lot so I hated the stupid things.

[V3ryan]

"Unknown error". < Being knocked over is the most common error that turrets experience. You'd think that this would have been documented somewhere along the way.

[MineCraftOrigami]

*Person who hasn't played Portal walks into the room*

"Target aquired"

Person: AWWW *puppy eyes*

*Person who played the sh*t out of Portal walks into the room*

"Target aquired"

"OH SHIT!" *dives behind table*

[Yuna5422]

333333 views XDDDDDDDD

Yaaaay ^^

"Hello? XD"

[TheMrsWesker]

LOVE them sooooo much!!!*////*

[Wahzoozoo]

theyre so fucking cute agh xD

[kojiro95]

preparing to dispense product, that's what he/she said

[razieLiumm]

best part 1:01

[ColdestLivewire]

i wonder what it would say if you put it though a portal loop...

[lazrpo]

I hate killing these little fuckers :(

[BareBeastie]

reminds me of eeve from wall-e :)

[Haihaihallo]

Hello? Hello? I'm different...

Why valve? WHY did you put so much cuteness into a single mass-murdering turret?

It's too cute... WHAAA

(Brain explodes)

Your business is appreciated..

[rickGamer]

These are great for changing the sounds on my computer with, especially the 'Shutting Down' one for every time I shut down, love it.

[killzoneX13]

THEY

ARE

SO

FUCKING

CUTE

[sume555]

*cuddles turret*

turret: hey! put me down

me: nevahh >:3 *hugs tighter*

[Ubuntu3011]

They say "dont shoot" when you get a turret to attack another one.

I loved when i dropped one of them and they said "i dont hate you". So nice!

[Midnightninja123]

"I don't hate you"

WHAT HAVE I DONE?

[Jyuujaeyu]

You know what? 0:54 is the sound a disabled turret makes as you throw it through an Emancipation Grill.

[gengijoe]

@Jyuujaeyu

Why would anyone do that? D:

[BrokenGlass49]

The second I came aross my first turret in Portal 2 I almost freaked. I forgot how scared of those lovely things I was.

[amiame115]

It's so cute eh

[Reapahh911]

wtf is this?

[krmihan]

1:08 ^_^

[SCIFILOVER123]

everyone says that they feel bad when they kill a turret...does that make me heartless when i say i enjoyed it?

[Chargal4]

They sound so cute and polite! Wait.. Fluttershy?

[MagronesBR]

@Chargal4 Fluttershy: "I'd like to be a tree."

Flutterbitch: "I'd like to be a turret!"

[LadyMoonlightMystery]

0:08 "Gotcha" (the wild CHELL was caught!) :D

...

...

*Chell gets away* "Shoot! It was so close too!"

[WhyDidIJustEatThat]

I love when the turret goes "Don't shoot".

[clubpenguin235]

COMING THROUGH!

[Saluhtem]

cute!

[sarahsunsmashable]

I wish there were companion turrets :3

[GarofaloSaul]

My name is Skrillex

[comenter6542]

Turret: I don't hate you

Me: OH GOD! WHAT HAVE I DONE!?

[kami799]

nap time

[novidio1]

damn i want to snuggle snuggle snuggle!!!

[TheDeLucaShow]

so damn cute, but you forgot one:

"I'm different"

[basilisk113]

@TheDeLucaShow look when this was uploaded........

[Normanslovejesus]

@TheDeLucaShow That's Portal 2

[Arelitron]

You know I dont think you have to be sad when you kill them. Cause you dont really kill them! When you knock one over it wigs out in the big fury of bullets and then it just shutdowns. Waiting to be activated again.

[bigincer]

yep thats gonna be in my nightmares :D

[LonLonCake]

Whooooooa n__n

[Lethn]

If Valve sold turret models that actually talked in the exact same voices then they'd probably make millions :p

[StarmanPhantom]

@Lethn

Same would go for realistic COREs, especially if they sold RICK (ADVENTURE CORE), SPACE, CURIOSITY, and possibly ANGER. I'd like a turret and a SPACE CORE. :)

[BurntPastryProd]

@Lethn *millions more ;)

[JoeSkunkape99]

@Lethn if valve made turrets that actually fired nobody would buy one!

[travelsonic]

@JoeSkunkape99 Make them shoot nerf darts, or small Styrofoam pellets :D

[josiah621]

@Lethn They so would.

[MrImdgreatest]

@Lethn they are! they have 14" plush dolls coming out in mid-december for 30$. They have "all the quotes a standard turret should know". Plus this so all can see!

[yukyuk21]

@Lethn You can get talking plush turrets on think geek.

[Lethn]

@yukyuk21 Those are only plushies though! I want a model one and there's a video if you search for "Portal turret real life" but for some reason youtube is being a bitch and not letting me post.

[mattafields]

@Lethn (think geek .com)

[zenlikestate96]

I dOnt HAte YoU...

[Gored2Fast]

heellooooo....friend=)

[Rexluna108]

The first time I encountered a turret, I accidentally knocked it over, and it went "Owowowowowoooow" aaaand it was freaking adorable.

[RenaRena01]

0:54 Bahyayayayya

LOL! I never heard that one! It sounds so random. XD

[sideofrize]

@RenaRena01 its the noise it makes when you throw it in an emancipation grill. :-3

[kojiro95]

@sideofrize or that's what 2 turrets said to each other in bed

[perfectsuperchaos7]

Gotcha. So Damn cute

[hiimezawa]

so cute!

:D

A external hard drive with that design... I'd love!

[117thlegacy]

'''Hey! It's Me!''' haha c(=

Why are they so adorable even

when they're trying to kill u?

>,<

[GryffenPuff]

About midway through the video, where you get to all the death quotes... I felt so inexplicably sad :(

I mean I feel like a murderer when I look down at the pile of turret corpses in my wake .____.

Also 0:35 HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I HEARD THAT BEFORE QUICKLY DASHING BEHIND A CORNER

[AquaShamu]

-knocks over a turret-

SHIT WHAT HAVE I DONE

[WhoWatchesVideos]

*Knocks over turret*

"I don't blame you"

*nearly cries*

[razorshade2]

@WhoWatchesVideos I felt so bad killing these guys :(

[kiki902143]

@WhoWatchesVideos I know, they're soooooo cute.; w ;

[halocarlos]

Favorite quote at 1:24 :)

[melikeutooob]

1:00 DOES ANYONE REALIZE THE WOAH IS THE SAME AS THE CURIOSITY CORE! XD

[pokemonzforever]

0:53 Peter griffin turret

[plackt]

I just love the sound they make when they are Imancipated. I spend an extra few minutes collecting them just for that.

[gargledavid]

I thought they were cute a little but then I'm like holy shit that's creepy as fuck.

[buniak6]

grając w Portal zakochałem się w głosie GlaDOS i tych dział XD

[KITT171]

Soundwave is still number one but this voice is a close second.

[PrincessKonohana]

" who are you? "

"hello, friend "

"are you still there?"

"hey! its me! dont shoot...."

"owowooww"

SHUT UP!!!! I HATE KILLING U!!! DX>

[WindowsVistaHater]

hello , friend...

0_o

[diaryaaaaaaaa]

SO CUTE but i gotta kill it.....GLaDOS:YOU GOTTA KILL IT! >.<. *goes into the vent with turret* YES WE ESCAPED TURRET! Turret:Hey! Please put me down! FREEDOM!!! *Turret shoots* o.e

[Emper0rH0rde]

"Hey. Hey hey hey! Put me down! Whoooooooaaa!"

[Elssuh]

@pikachu123PL These are the voice clips from Portal. The Oracle Turret debuts in Portal 2.

[TheTextingNeko]

Owowowowow~

[lazicful]

@TheTextingNeko :C

[MrPoppula]

cute litle evil military android.

[ChileanCrafter]

1:29 i loved that haha

[lazicful]

@acorulez me too. :3

[acorulez]

I don't kill them, I always make the effort to simply move them and keep them functional.

[wapperott]

ther is a mod for portal stuff and turets on minecraft

[ikmal017]

Fluttershy ^-^

[TheLateKnight4785]

"are you still there?" creeps me the fuck out every time.

[comenter6542]

I HATE WHEN THEY SAY i don't hate you, why??? and no hard feelings, IT MAKES ME FEEL SO GUILTY!

[gregoryallan2000]

@misiekevo911 and @GLaDOS

இ இ இ

How much will that cost?

Is it okay if I make those checks out to cash?

[gregoryallan2000]

The only thime transcribe got it right was "Excuse me"!

And also,

HOW CAN 17 PEOPLE DISLIKE THIS?!?

[TheBlackmesastudios1]

@gregoryallan2000 they are under combine occupation :3

[laserboots]

All I can think of when they say "Gotcha!" is Celestia. D:

[Nipoteiii]

AAAAAWWWWSss tooo cuteeeeh OAO

[mysticicedragon]

It sounds like a kiddy GLaDOS

[oescalador1]

@mysticicedragon They were voiced by the same person.

[comenter6542]

I don't hate you ether.

[portalrunner117]

First time playing portal

Me:*knocks over turret* PWNED BITCH!

Turret: whyyyy?

Me: WHAT HAVE I DONE?! CURSE YOU VALVE FOR NOT LETTING ME TAKE IT AND FILLING THEM WITH BULLETS!!!!

[misteriousscientist]

Stop shooting! XD

[MysMultilanguagesFav]

"Ow ow ow ow oow" <3

[shirokun002]

i just set them in the corner and hope they dont start crying from being put in the corner :c

[KokiriDoll]

OH GAWD THEY SOUND SO ADORABLE I'M GONNA DIE. ;___;

[TheShadowwolf67]

Why do they have to be so cute and dangerous at the same time!?! I mean it, The turret is more adorable than it seems dangerous! ♥♥♥

[Epickidz1]

2 cute and wtf at 0:54 - 0:55 :3

[InvaderTenn1100]

@Epickidz1 its the sound when you try to take a turret thru the particle field (the thing before the elevator)

[Epickidz1]

@InvaderTenn1100  i know

[1GenieoftheLamp1]

You should make one with, "I'm different"

[Haihaihallo]

Hey, its me! don't shoot! just broke my heart into tiny pieces..

[W0lis]

Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Put me down :)

[OldLadyUU]

I think their red light laser is a disadvantage because you know where they are at all times.

[CidSilverWing]

1:23

Nap time :3

[klitri1]

"resting, nap time" wow, this turret is better then my 4 year old cousin, it sleeps everytime you leave it alone!

[klitri1]

i dont kill them, i find areas where they dont threaten my existence, TURRENTS FTW

[nitro7345]

nap time

[InvaderTenn1100]

0:33 with closed captions on XD

[JellyBabe02]

I want a pet turret! I'm sure you can train them not to shoot at you! You know, like a dog! If he shoots at you, you say firmly: "No. Bad turret." I'd just need to purchase bullet-proof armour...

[GhostWolfGlowStick]

Turrets - The cutest thing ever that will try to KILL you

D:!

[xXYaoiKittyXx]

Whhyyyy....

Me: -bawls- SO CUUTTEEEE-

[54guitar45]

my favorite is the 'it burns' from portal 2

[mewisadorable]

;_; So cute... I don't wanna kill it!!!

[00devil21]

i dont want to kill you turet

[MrOpenGamer]

Favourite line: 1:23

[Piotrczarnota96]

I build one.^^

[RiddlerMiddler]

Put. On. transcirbe audio then laugh ass off.

[xxxanimepopxxx]

0:53 O___O

[TK4PPA]

there is not 1:44 =O

[CoderScene]

if you realy here into this you thing this turetts are gay ^^

[darkknigh11]

1:33 shoot fuck shooting

[dragonparty2]

Whhhhhhhhhhhyyyy

[RockXIII]

"Gotcha <3"

8[

So ****ing adorable.

[emmajacksonx]

I want someone to create a dubstep track with these quotes in them :|

[ih4t3su]

@emmajacksonx there are multiple, here is one :

watch?v=Qlbars_2OnU

[TwoThousandSuns]

I WANT ONE AS A PET!!

[Emaiahs]

@TwoThousandSuns Just remember to face it to the wall.

[Mastermax345]

@TwoThousandSuns obviously the leopard print one.

[SingLoid]

@TwoThousandSuns OMG ME TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

[BellaMarieSwan1000]

when I heard these in Portal 1 for the first time I just went, O.O what the fu- [CRITICAL ERROR]

[TheSupremelyEvilOne]

"I don't hate you"

...OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE ;_;

[3993816]

@TheSupremelyEvilOne No hard feelings :'(

[charm3dkitten]

...Did it just say 'fuck'?

[dalemierdaaaaa]

aaaw... awawawawawaw <3