8. write your strengths and weaknesses down,compare it to the rest of society,be honest
with yourselves,if it isnt working,but worked for everyone else,most likely we are wrong,eradicate the nonsense,keep the good,acquire others good points, for example we arent the best at articulating things, entjs are better,steal from them! estp are doers,steal!remember infp or entj or enfj is only a starting point,we are supposed to become ambivert with infp core, life is better like that,less stressful.
tips for fellow infps to succeed,i'm now become ambivert with an infp core,i carry myself confidently well spoken and able to articulate myself like entj,infp core i.e. heart,compassion etc....istj wisdom,these are just some tips to overcome our weaknesses,all types have them,we should know them and blossom:
1.don't try to forget something,distract your mind with something else i.e. read
2.Make a to do list,then do now,forget future and past.
Oh...my...f***ing...god... I am an INTJ and I was looking for how this girl who is an INFP was thinking about me. We both liked each other a lot..but I was going threw a death of a friend so i never made a move... To know this is how she felt about me makes me want to cry ;_;. And this is coming from the MBTI type that doesn't show emotion... If there is any way to go back and explain things maybe we would be together..;_;
"how much of this is real, and how much of this did i make up in my head?"
I love that.
and this is cool. I kinda wanna share my INFP thoughts like this, but I'm much too socially anxious to get in front of a camera... or another person.. or myself. ;D
I'm an INFP in a long distance relationship, and this vid has really helped me realizing that my approach to relationships is not a glaring abnormality, nor is it hopeless, nor is it completely abhorrent. Huh - ten years of therapy, and it took a four minute video, and a couple uses of he word "we," to finally be Okay with my crazy tearstained spinning romantic idealism.
Thank you. I love you for this. It means a hell of a lot. xo
Oh my god i love you i would reach in the screen and hug you coz thats exactli what i do so, when i meet that person in my head im married and had four kids with him while in reality i havent said i word to him. You can see how confused and then guarded i get ahaha !!
Yep I have this similar issue. Me being an INFP is hard to find love when we fantasize bout it 2 much. I learned #3 the hard way recently cuz of the heartbreak I suffered in my last relationship but I'm healing slowly cuz like my mom says things happen for a reason
Any other INFP have this problem: You kinda like a guy he likes you but you push him away mostly because he doesn't fit your ideals then he ends with someone else and you think what could have been and then you realize you actually like him then you want him more and start fantasizing more but nothing ever happens. That is the story of my love life.
"INFPs are probably the most romantic of all NFs and yet we still have problems finding potential partners" == i lol'd at this because it's soo true! gahh...
and yeah...i don't believe in perfect relationships...rather, maybe i'm looking for someone not perfect but someone you can really relate to and complements who you are...i think i've met two at different times and it just felt so good and so right that i would be willing to do anything for them...
So happy that you are able to put these things into words, also you do it in a straight forward and yet caring way, it's incredibly, inspiring, super, you're super.
As an INFP female, the problem that I have with love is not that I am looking for a "savior" or someone to come rescue me from reality. All-in-all, I realize that this is unrealistic (and unhealthy).
The truth is that all I really want is to find someone who loves me as much as I love him. The downside of being an INFP is that I love people too much and as nice as that sounds in the abstract, it really SUCKS!
But yes, I can totally relate to the obsessiveness :)
*when I realized he wasn't half the man I thought he was. =_= it really sucks and I'm guilty of doing this kind of thing often. but I'm getting therapy now, trying to make more friends instead of just boyfriends, and trying to find things that interest me :) also I wanna thank you SO MUCH for making this video <3 it feels great knowing someone else knows exactly how I'm feeling. best of luck to you in the future. and keep making vids, please :D
the way you described infps in love in the beginning = EXACTLY like me, and how I met the last guy. just sharing - I ignored him the first few times I saw him until he began talking to me. I was quiet, didn't do anything, and was sort of just trying to get a feel for the type of person he was beyond what I was seeing. within the next few times we hung out, I really opened up to him and started liking him a TON. I made him up to be all of these things he wasn't, and was so dissapointed later when
ahhhhh man so no super sexy beautiful angelic female is going to come and save me from being such a wanker...damn it...fantasy is better than reality anyway its all in your head
Astounded no wonder i haven't had any decent relationships, Ive attracted some very beautiful females i am haunted by their looks of disappointment because i have turned them down out of cynicism...that cynicism born out of fantasies with those i could not be with so when an opportunity did come around it feels like the universe is fucking with me 'ooo you better not let this opportunity slip by you might regret it' fuck you and your opportunity .. anyway love is a drug...its lies i tell you!!!
I think the beauty of the INFP type is that we feel so intensely. However, it's bittersweet. We feel the best of the best - but also the worst of the worst. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Because I've got a serious problem with letting go, and sometimes I think she thinks I'm shallow because I might be overbearing but more importantly, because I'm trying to make myself out to be an ENFJ instead. (yeah I know that may sound a tad bit far but I can't help it!)
Hey patty, I have another question, is it possible for an INFP to be in a relationship with another INFP and sustain it? Coz I'm a guy INFP in that situation, and I see much of both my good but more significantly, my bad traits in her and I keep trying to change those bad qualities in myself for the sake of usthough it hurts me quite alot and I'm often annoyed when she doesn't return my calls, messages, etc. And I have to keep reminding myself about the good qualities in her. Is it worth it?
patty i think that we infps have a tendency to let go of bad/abusive relationships.even if we know that the other person is hurting us,we still see ''smth gd''in them..
So much of what I have learned about love (and being a better person) you have just encapsulated right here in such a nice compact message. Like a little gift box with a pretty bow, for my ears. So wonderful, thank you saying all of that.
You know I've done most of your suggestions before, especially the 'You are your own savior'. I used to be so hard on myself thinking the problem was me. Thinking back, the problem may not have been entirely me, What really is helping me get through now is to think that people love differently. It helps me be a little less selfish, stop focusing solely on my needs, and be more considerate of what others want for themselves.
This video is absolutely true to the infp in love. And yes, it gets annoying. Thank you Patty for understanding and relaying this. I come back to this video for guidance. It is such a helpful tool. I laugh every time I watch it because it's so true. Sometimes the truth hurts but this insight has opened so many new doors for me, it is worth the pain. Thank you Patty!
My mom is an INFP; she has only ever had a string of abusive husbands. It's like she is unable to see them for what they are and she allows herself to make excuses for her mates :(
I'm and INFJ. I relate to some of what you said, like the building a relationship up in your head sort a thing; I don't think I usually let my feet get too far off the ground though. Thanks for your videos. I have an enfj daughter & her 'ideal' mate is an INFP, we'll see, it will be interestjng if she does end up with one (she is only 6 now hehe). Keep up the great videos!
My solution for love eventually was to have a go at the unconditional love for all living creatures kind of thing. Its nice, but I guess I keep people at a distance. Perhaps its a kind of benevolence, certainly doesn't make me sleep easier at night whatever it is. I do pine for genuine relationships, but people so very often are jerks. I don't like it. I will smile, sure ... but only to clog my tear ducts. I am a little crazy. INFP style.
Everytime someone brings me back down to reality it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, especially when it's someone who knows where I'm coming from. *sigh* At least there's always writing, painting, music, and dreaming to fall back into when the world reminds you of just how mundane it really is. *goes back to building a spaceship out of popsicle sticks and silly putty*
Thanks for posting this. I can definitely relate to all you said. I'm an infp and also a 4 - The Individualist on the enneagram test. I think the 2 are similar if not the same. Anyway, I definitely have the longing for the perfect savior to come in and take care of me, help heal my wounds. And what you said at the end was profound and something I realized before. People love at differing levels based on many factors. I think infp's capacity for love is so grand in comparison with other types.
yeah...the fantasizing part is so true for infp's. to quote on similar lines what infpatty said, this is what I ask when the other person I love leaves: "how much of what really happened between us...was what really happened!?"
I'm an INFP. My view on perfectionism, I know in reality perfect doesn't exist but in MY eyes my special someone would be perfect. He would be perfect for all the things he is to me. He would have short comings but I can deal with them. There are some negative traits I can deal with but not others.
And I'm very picky with who I choose to date. I could like someone who is nice and caring but couldn't see myself dating that person b/c he doesn't have the other personality traits I'm looking for
Also, according to socionics, INFP would connect really well with ESTP, but it does take some time.
Socionics and MBTI are a bit different though so you need to take a test just to make sure. But in my case, my MBTI letters are the same as socionics.
What's really weird is that yesterday I started fantasizing about an INFJ and it got way out of control. Even my schoolwork suffered. We've only known each other for a month. And the weirdness is because I started singing 'Crimson and Clover' at the top of my lungs during the fantasy.
Spoooooooky!
Love all of your videos. I recently learned about being an INFP, and your videos make me realize there's nothing really wrong with me...Many more of us out there!
I'm also an infp and i've learned the "number 3" the hard way. -_- It may be cold, but i guess since i started realizing this it somehow feels so much better that way. I am the only one who controls my life. And that's awesome. :)
About the "number 2", i guess I'm still too much of an idealist to believe there isn't a perfect someone. I dream with someone that will be perfect to me, that will complete me, including all of his own imperfections. Haha, I can't help it.
yea im an infp and this dude i was best friends with for like 3 years was also an infp and he killed himself. i wrote a doctiloquent rap about him and memories. nostalgic. anyways yea i dont even know why im typing this hahaha...
Love is sooooo difficult for me as well. It seems so desperate sometimes, and then there is the crazy out of hand stuff with the anticipation and that is when the trouble can come into play. So strange...us INFPs are so complex it's not even funny.
I've read that with INFPs and I have seen this in interviews with famous INFPs such as Audrey Hepburn and Princess Diana that they were extremely loyal to a point that they never wanted to face reality and "stayed in their relationships too long". I have a lot of empathy for this people when I hear this and I can relate to a degree, though its a bit different. Have you had the issue with staying too long out of hope things will change?
#3 was a difficult lesson for me, an INFP. Liberating, but difficult. And yet, somewhere in the back of mind there is always that desire for a cataclysmic love. It's like a faith, perhaps, for an otherwise faithless guy. Its a dangerous way of thinking, but I guess that, having learned to be realistic (or as realistic as an infp can be), I feel that I can get away with a little dreaming. John Keats must have been INFP. "Love is my religion," he said. Poor fellow.
Haha but the first time I took the MBTI it said ISTp. which seemed true sometimes but def not. then estp sligtly extro, slightly thinking and sensing. but then I realized I wasnt that loud. haha... I think. well idk.haha
I have a really close thing when it comes to like almost 50 50 on intro extro and like 55% intuitive and 44% sensing, and like 52% feeling 48% thinking.... then deff a P.... But it still said I was an INFP. I'm such a perfectionist, and I always doubt things and have doubts bc it is not perfect and I'm not that patient bc I just see these doubts, or all the possibilities...Idk...
Wow, I finally feel like someone understands me. I just found out I am INFP. My fiance who I have been with 7 years is an ISTJ. We clash a bit, but I think that being with him is healthy for me because I need a good dose of reality, definitely a real eye opener. I learned first hand that all of my fantasy bullshit was exactly that, bullshit! You are completely right, there is no perfect relationship, and it is unfair to have such unrealistic expectations of someone.
so if people love the way they need to be loved, and you have been trained to give more love than they need....see the dilemma. Id like to make her happy, but the act of trying to make her happy, makes her want to run. Id like for you to to give your little tidbit, because i can feel the honesty your givin.
I love that you INFPs are so charismatic and positive about life for others. One weird question that I have for ya though. Is is true that INFPs secretly wish to be "dominated" in relationships, or is that the INFJ?
@jonkarf charismatic? i thought that descriptor was saved exclusively for enfjs! ;) i can't speak for other infps but there is a little part of me that likes to be.. hmm... bossed around? that sounds weird haha. maybe not "dominated" per se but there is a pretty sweet balance between a P and a J because I do hate deciding upon things (especially on the spot) and the J folks tend to do it quicker.
hi... im a so called 'ideal world in my head person', I dont really get the look for a savior part but i ges looking back, its obvious a mentor would have helped. A fren with a similar mind who could talk about fantasizing as well... like you.... would have helped.. i mean... we are not alone.!!
I know that I have such high expectations of partners and everyone in general and it's partly because of fantasy. Usually they don't live up to it and it makes my relationships so difficult and causes me a great deal of stress. I nag and tear them down for not being the way I want them to. I have to realize that no one is going to make me totally happy and just because they don't doesn't mean I can't have a relationship with them.
@bit391 so true, bit. as i get older i become better at discerning between an ideal and a completely unrealistic standard.. maybe it helps just to remind yourself that when you're really into the person, that it's okay for people to have their flaws, and that we ourselves have them as well. that's not such a terrible thing, right?
I liked it and it was actually accurate and true. As an INFP, I often find myself prone to most of the things in the video and when I reflect it is just so irritating. Really great video, like the down to earth style and the advice.
Everyone who is reading this comment, please click on my username for my videos I made about the The Truth of the World. I have found out what the truth of life is, the truth of the world, and the truth of God. Please, I really want people to watch and listen what I have to say. No more living in false reality, no more living in illusions, no more thinking there is no way out......its time to lead your life into The Truth of the World!!!!!!!!!
I'm not necessarily encouraging you to keep making videos if you would have nothing to talk about but please keep on talking. You have some decent points in your videos. :-) oxox
I wish you lived in Toronto, I'd buy you a coffee. :-) You have that slightly "sarcastic" (but not intentionally sarcastic, "oh my god, what did I do? This is just the way I am...ok then world, live with it...oh why can't you GET me? Why can't you all be like Gregory House?" ) tone to your video.
Might be different for a guy. One as unconventional as I, you're right I seek out perfection and I set my sights and I either get it or I don't, well I kept doing that and I got what I wanted. Now I have a relationship worth boasting about. I'd like to point out that what you described and prescribed could be useful for any type(not sure if you said that). Love requires you to be a nurturing person because you have to handle it with care.
i love that song, crimson and clover :) i thought that was an especially resonate point you made, that people love how they want to be loved, excellent observation! thanks for the video! (I'm INFP too!)
Very smart post. The irony of the INFP is that being the "most romantic" of all the types really means that INFPs -fantasize- about romance the most of all the types.
One thing I've noticed w/r to "how much is in my head" is that if you tend to fantasize about it a lot, it's mostly in your head. If you feel scared, though, it's probably real ... because you're scared that it actually might be real.
@pifapastoral aw, your words are too generous. thank you for the comment. i'm always secretly very pleased when i learn an infj is entertained by these in some way :)
INFPatty, you friggin rock :D Haha I could really relate to this whole video.. the whole explanation of the relationship not working out and wondering how much of it was actually just in your head.. until i found out i was an infp i had the problem of thinking guys seemed to be much different in my head then to maybe real life and thought it was just me... you know floating on cloud 9 then dropping down to cloud 8 7 6
@anneliesex idealization can be such a drug can't it? it's hard to control, it's manageable, it's a beast with its own mind! our imaginations get us into all kinds of trouble at times :P
As WyldFire mentioned, the "How much of this was real and how much of this was in my head" is so accurate! It's so difficult to know the difference between reality and fantasy as an INFP.
I think I have to read that book, because I'm positive it's something I can relate to.
I am an infp and engaged to an ENFJ and I have to say that, at least in my case, the chemistry is perfect. I saw on one web site that INFP and ENFJ are supposed to be ideal and in my case it really is true :-) By the way, Patty, you are really cool!! :-)
@josephpeterelijah Congrats on your engagement, joseph! ahhh that's so great! :D yes the chemistry between enfj/infp is undeniable. do you think it has anything to do with the fact that enfj's are natural mentors and supporters?
Yes, I definitely think it is because he is a mentor/supporter type (i am female infp and he is a male enfj - my youtube is my son's name :-) Also, because I have a perfect image in my head of what a mate should be and because he as an enfj is so charismatic, it fits really well
"How much of this was real and how much of this was in my head?" WOW. That's a mouthful. I can definitely relate to that. Like this Third Eye Blind song with the lyrics, "Are you real to me? Or are you non-dairy creamer?" lol. Fantasies sure as hell get in my way too. And I know I too often look for a saviour. Completely unrealistic. But, as I'm growing up, that crazy ideal is slowly changing, thankfully.
@damienvargas i would like to be a therapist, but i haven't considered hynotherapy (i went in college when i was trying to quit smoking). i rather enjoyed it.. from what i remember, it was simply guided meditation.
I haven't been in love yet. I think because I guard myself to a fault and then I force this atmosphere of friendship ONLY upon the relationships I have with the menzz. It's so strange to because I fantasize about being in love and being understood all of the time but I end up setting myself for living just the opposite, then I go listen to sad torch songs and people with tragically beautiful voices.
i've done that, the self-sabotaging via friendzoning. the worse the feeling of attraction is, the more likely i am to do it. hand. to. forehead. one of these days i'm going to learn.
haha this was really wonderful to watch! :D You hit the nail on the head with all of it. Couldn't agree more on the bit about it not being fair to put the looking-for-savior mentality on someone...its very impowering realising that you are your own savior, scary but empowering. Right on!
thanks for watching, bathy mats :) i'm glad you enjoyed the message. personal accountability can def be a scary thing, but can only be a good thing for us, as we infps really crave freedom and independence. cheers.
No, really, thank you for linking me! I saw so much of myself in you, especially in the way you dress LOL
I also loved how you described an INFP falling in love, it reminded me of one of those Lifetime movie scenarios where someone ends up murdered in the end, so I had to LOL XD
8. write your strengths and weaknesses down,compare it to the rest of society,be honest
with yourselves,if it isnt working,but worked for everyone else,most likely we are wrong,eradicate the nonsense,keep the good,acquire others good points, for example we arent the best at articulating things, entjs are better,steal from them! estp are doers,steal!remember infp or entj or enfj is only a starting point,we are supposed to become ambivert with infp core, life is better like that,less stressful.
RESEARCH13579 2 weeks ago
continueed...
5.don't procastinate,if you fear something envision someone who is confident and think as if
you are them,ask them questions and then act.
6.Cut or limit the fantasies,it's not real,use this as a strength,fantasise about realistic things and go for it asap.
7. Don't over analyse yourself in mirror,cos you will find problems i.e. noone is perfect.
RESEARCH13579 2 weeks ago
tips for fellow infps to succeed,i'm now become ambivert with an infp core,i carry myself confidently well spoken and able to articulate myself like entj,infp core i.e. heart,compassion etc....istj wisdom,these are just some tips to overcome our weaknesses,all types have them,we should know them and blossom:
1.don't try to forget something,distract your mind with something else i.e. read
2.Make a to do list,then do now,forget future and past.
3.Don't talk to yourselves
4.learn from others
RESEARCH13579 2 weeks ago
Oh...my...f***ing...god... I am an INTJ and I was looking for how this girl who is an INFP was thinking about me. We both liked each other a lot..but I was going threw a death of a friend so i never made a move... To know this is how she felt about me makes me want to cry ;_;. And this is coming from the MBTI type that doesn't show emotion... If there is any way to go back and explain things maybe we would be together..;_;
rageblade233 4 weeks ago
"how much of this is real, and how much of this did i make up in my head?"
I love that.
and this is cool. I kinda wanna share my INFP thoughts like this, but I'm much too socially anxious to get in front of a camera... or another person.. or myself. ;D
Zypakoi 1 month ago
you rock
soccerlovesit 1 month ago
I'm an INTJ . I love your thoughts !
icedad250 1 month ago in playlist INFP
I'm an INFP in a long distance relationship, and this vid has really helped me realizing that my approach to relationships is not a glaring abnormality, nor is it hopeless, nor is it completely abhorrent. Huh - ten years of therapy, and it took a four minute video, and a couple uses of he word "we," to finally be Okay with my crazy tearstained spinning romantic idealism.
Thank you. I love you for this. It means a hell of a lot. xo
fluidstatic 1 month ago
thank you so much for posting this. i am an infp and it realllllllllyyyyyyyyy helped
houselover2012 1 month ago
Oh my god i love you i would reach in the screen and hug you coz thats exactli what i do so, when i meet that person in my head im married and had four kids with him while in reality i havent said i word to him. You can see how confused and then guarded i get ahaha !!
siddy1991 2 months ago
Yep I have this similar issue. Me being an INFP is hard to find love when we fantasize bout it 2 much. I learned #3 the hard way recently cuz of the heartbreak I suffered in my last relationship but I'm healing slowly cuz like my mom says things happen for a reason
darkangel5682 2 months ago
I worry over what I don't have; I long for imaginations; I despise what I have--any other INFPs concur with this spin of mind?
look, right about at this point in my life....
i've understood most of my interpretations to be romanticized misinterpretations.
i don't want reality. it doesn't suit the stomach.
do you ever feel as though the love you crave is overwhelmingly, eternally nonexistent?
and yet, there's this deliciousness to the lonely pining!
Zeevilestgeekofall 2 months ago
Any other INFP have this problem: You kinda like a guy he likes you but you push him away mostly because he doesn't fit your ideals then he ends with someone else and you think what could have been and then you realize you actually like him then you want him more and start fantasizing more but nothing ever happens. That is the story of my love life.
jebiusenvy 3 months ago
@jebiusenvy yep all the time it just makes u wanna face palm !! too many opportunities missed!!
siddy1991 1 month ago
Just curious, do you guys (INFP) like ENFJs? Because they're supposed to be naturally compatible but ive never met such a pairing before
Mir8121 3 months ago
"INFPs are probably the most romantic of all NFs and yet we still have problems finding potential partners" == i lol'd at this because it's soo true! gahh...
and yeah...i don't believe in perfect relationships...rather, maybe i'm looking for someone not perfect but someone you can really relate to and complements who you are...i think i've met two at different times and it just felt so good and so right that i would be willing to do anything for them...
and btw, cool guitars XD
rockzta 3 months ago
u're so cute !!
Just lik me :P
cnancydrewk 3 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
u're so cute !!
Just lik me :P
cnancydrewk 3 months ago
u're soo cute !!
Just lik me :P ( :
cnancydrewk 3 months ago
So happy that you are able to put these things into words, also you do it in a straight forward and yet caring way, it's incredibly, inspiring, super, you're super.
Muddybuddyjellybunny 3 months ago
Thank you for this. Great advice. You're awesome.
ertertwert 3 months ago
As an INFP female, the problem that I have with love is not that I am looking for a "savior" or someone to come rescue me from reality. All-in-all, I realize that this is unrealistic (and unhealthy).
The truth is that all I really want is to find someone who loves me as much as I love him. The downside of being an INFP is that I love people too much and as nice as that sounds in the abstract, it really SUCKS!
But yes, I can totally relate to the obsessiveness :)
cvezzle91 4 months ago 3
Yeah, I do that.
96burjen 4 months ago
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FrostwaveMusic 4 months ago
*when I realized he wasn't half the man I thought he was. =_= it really sucks and I'm guilty of doing this kind of thing often. but I'm getting therapy now, trying to make more friends instead of just boyfriends, and trying to find things that interest me :) also I wanna thank you SO MUCH for making this video <3 it feels great knowing someone else knows exactly how I'm feeling. best of luck to you in the future. and keep making vids, please :D
th1nkp1nk91 4 months ago
the way you described infps in love in the beginning = EXACTLY like me, and how I met the last guy. just sharing - I ignored him the first few times I saw him until he began talking to me. I was quiet, didn't do anything, and was sort of just trying to get a feel for the type of person he was beyond what I was seeing. within the next few times we hung out, I really opened up to him and started liking him a TON. I made him up to be all of these things he wasn't, and was so dissapointed later when
th1nkp1nk91 4 months ago
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th1nkp1nk91 4 months ago
I am now enlightened. Anyone out there for me? :| :| :|
nicoboy 4 months ago
I just want someone I can love up close... lol
iceybleu 6 months ago
Awwwwww poor INFP you want a hug and btw I'm willing to take on the burden of peoples problems ok :}
barret1able 7 months ago
ahhhhh man so no super sexy beautiful angelic female is going to come and save me from being such a wanker...damn it...fantasy is better than reality anyway its all in your head
OneMove33 7 months ago
Astounded no wonder i haven't had any decent relationships, Ive attracted some very beautiful females i am haunted by their looks of disappointment because i have turned them down out of cynicism...that cynicism born out of fantasies with those i could not be with so when an opportunity did come around it feels like the universe is fucking with me 'ooo you better not let this opportunity slip by you might regret it' fuck you and your opportunity .. anyway love is a drug...its lies i tell you!!!
OneMove33 7 months ago
@OneMove33 HAHAHAHAHA you are soo right !!!! the universe is biatch sometimes.
siddy1991 1 month ago
number 3 is what i realized after my first boyfriend broke up with me. :) during my heartbreak, i was glad for that experience. so glad. :)
sweetmay73 7 months ago
I understand now.
theflipking 7 months ago
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theflipking 7 months ago
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theflipking 7 months ago
Quality video! Can't wait to watch more of your videos, INFPatty! (~ another INFP)
arc27 8 months ago
I think the beauty of the INFP type is that we feel so intensely. However, it's bittersweet. We feel the best of the best - but also the worst of the worst. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
aleicat777 8 months ago
Because I've got a serious problem with letting go, and sometimes I think she thinks I'm shallow because I might be overbearing but more importantly, because I'm trying to make myself out to be an ENFJ instead. (yeah I know that may sound a tad bit far but I can't help it!)
esyphillis101 8 months ago
Hey patty, I have another question, is it possible for an INFP to be in a relationship with another INFP and sustain it? Coz I'm a guy INFP in that situation, and I see much of both my good but more significantly, my bad traits in her and I keep trying to change those bad qualities in myself for the sake of usthough it hurts me quite alot and I'm often annoyed when she doesn't return my calls, messages, etc. And I have to keep reminding myself about the good qualities in her. Is it worth it?
esyphillis101 8 months ago
patty i think that we infps have a tendency to let go of bad/abusive relationships.even if we know that the other person is hurting us,we still see ''smth gd''in them..
spaceygurlx 9 months ago
So much of what I have learned about love (and being a better person) you have just encapsulated right here in such a nice compact message. Like a little gift box with a pretty bow, for my ears. So wonderful, thank you saying all of that.
bliss22 9 months ago
I like this video!
xxxseXierIkAF4Grlxxx 9 months ago
Thank you, This was just what my INFP-person needed to hear. X
ebdelios 10 months ago
Nice name!
Harbec 10 months ago
You know I've done most of your suggestions before, especially the 'You are your own savior'. I used to be so hard on myself thinking the problem was me. Thinking back, the problem may not have been entirely me, What really is helping me get through now is to think that people love differently. It helps me be a little less selfish, stop focusing solely on my needs, and be more considerate of what others want for themselves.
megustaverlas 10 months ago
OMG, Patty, are you explaining my love life?
megustaverlas 10 months ago
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LMFAO so true..... exactly... especially the part where you're like "whoa, have I been making this up in my head???"
poontanya 10 months ago
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poontanya 10 months ago
OOOOH PREACH IT
Chameleam 11 months ago
I'm an INFP guy that's afraid of talking to girls. :(
ThaGearOfWar 11 months ago
oh patty why are you so awesommeeee <3 keep being such a beautiful, caring person!
subpolarity 11 months ago
Ouch! I clicked the "dislike" button by mistake! lol I like this video!
loquequieroesalsa 11 months ago
This video is absolutely true to the infp in love. And yes, it gets annoying. Thank you Patty for understanding and relaying this. I come back to this video for guidance. It is such a helpful tool. I laugh every time I watch it because it's so true. Sometimes the truth hurts but this insight has opened so many new doors for me, it is worth the pain. Thank you Patty!
onelove
fractals83 11 months ago
IM A BANANA ! but my spoon is tooooo big D=
DamnedYouFakers 11 months ago
Fuck i think im INFP this kinda describes me a lot when it comes to this aspect of life.
druglover200 11 months ago
My mom is an INFP; she has only ever had a string of abusive husbands. It's like she is unable to see them for what they are and she allows herself to make excuses for her mates :(
thehotavocado 1 year ago
I'm and INFJ. I relate to some of what you said, like the building a relationship up in your head sort a thing; I don't think I usually let my feet get too far off the ground though. Thanks for your videos. I have an enfj daughter & her 'ideal' mate is an INFP, we'll see, it will be interestjng if she does end up with one (she is only 6 now hehe). Keep up the great videos!
thehotavocado 1 year ago
Haha this REALLY hit home!
CyborgEugenics 1 year ago
THIS IS JUST LIKE ME. OH MY GOODNESS!!!!!!
96burjen 1 year ago
Your words hit very close ms. infPatty.
My solution for love eventually was to have a go at the unconditional love for all living creatures kind of thing. Its nice, but I guess I keep people at a distance. Perhaps its a kind of benevolence, certainly doesn't make me sleep easier at night whatever it is. I do pine for genuine relationships, but people so very often are jerks. I don't like it. I will smile, sure ... but only to clog my tear ducts. I am a little crazy. INFP style.
ImpyNickers 1 year ago
You are seriously so cool!
jawgraphy 1 year ago
I love all of you. I'm serious. You are all awesome. Like, whoa.
infpatty 1 year ago 10
Everytime someone brings me back down to reality it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, especially when it's someone who knows where I'm coming from. *sigh* At least there's always writing, painting, music, and dreaming to fall back into when the world reminds you of just how mundane it really is. *goes back to building a spaceship out of popsicle sticks and silly putty*
Damienf77 1 year ago
I love you! Haha
-Fellow INFP
SwingBeatnik 1 year ago
Thanks for posting this. I can definitely relate to all you said. I'm an infp and also a 4 - The Individualist on the enneagram test. I think the 2 are similar if not the same. Anyway, I definitely have the longing for the perfect savior to come in and take care of me, help heal my wounds. And what you said at the end was profound and something I realized before. People love at differing levels based on many factors. I think infp's capacity for love is so grand in comparison with other types.
sandcastlecollapsing 1 year ago 5
yeah...the fantasizing part is so true for infp's. to quote on similar lines what infpatty said, this is what I ask when the other person I love leaves: "how much of what really happened between us...was what really happened!?"
~INFP
NonexistentFuture 1 year ago
I wanted to add in my other comment that I related to everything you mentioned in this video. :-s
ESP point 3. :-s
MsdarLing106 1 year ago
I'm an INFP. My view on perfectionism, I know in reality perfect doesn't exist but in MY eyes my special someone would be perfect. He would be perfect for all the things he is to me. He would have short comings but I can deal with them. There are some negative traits I can deal with but not others.
And I'm very picky with who I choose to date. I could like someone who is nice and caring but couldn't see myself dating that person b/c he doesn't have the other personality traits I'm looking for
MsdarLing106 1 year ago
i <3 you!! haha enjoyed this
meliizza 1 year ago
YES! You rule. :]
Groty 1 year ago
FANTACIZING!!! omg, i do that too much.
and usually it doesn't work out and i never see the person again.
i'm an infp
OdeToNecrophilia 1 year ago
You are adorable. :)
Also, according to socionics, INFP would connect really well with ESTP, but it does take some time.
Socionics and MBTI are a bit different though so you need to take a test just to make sure. But in my case, my MBTI letters are the same as socionics.
goosebump91 1 year ago
thanks for the last bit of advice, paattyy it's true! i think... i mean yeah it probably is... what do i know o.o
OdeToNecrophilia 1 year ago
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goosebump91 1 year ago
I'm an INFP, through and through.
What's really weird is that yesterday I started fantasizing about an INFJ and it got way out of control. Even my schoolwork suffered. We've only known each other for a month. And the weirdness is because I started singing 'Crimson and Clover' at the top of my lungs during the fantasy.
Spoooooooky!
Love all of your videos. I recently learned about being an INFP, and your videos make me realize there's nothing really wrong with me...Many more of us out there!
missunderestimated 1 year ago
yeah me too, I'm not really sure if I,m a t or and f but I can relate to this a lot
MissPepperme 1 year ago
scary. im a intp and i could still relate to this
JazzmynKristina 1 year ago
HA, thanks for point three :D
nebenanx 1 year ago
"People love the way they need to be loved."
That's actually really, really brilliant.
ScarlettTwilight 1 year ago
PS: you are so cute :3
brawrnie 1 year ago
I'm also an infp and i've learned the "number 3" the hard way. -_- It may be cold, but i guess since i started realizing this it somehow feels so much better that way. I am the only one who controls my life. And that's awesome. :)
About the "number 2", i guess I'm still too much of an idealist to believe there isn't a perfect someone. I dream with someone that will be perfect to me, that will complete me, including all of his own imperfections. Haha, I can't help it.
brawrnie 1 year ago
OMG you just described me to the core! LMAO! This is crazy! But yep....so true.
KatarraParson 1 year ago
I totally see myself in you. It's greaaaaaaaaaat and you're riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight
NoodleRamensaki 1 year ago
i fantasy so bad....but not just about sex.....about everything.
druglover200 1 year ago 2
I loved the video, it made me smile so much :))
Bluevioletsoul 1 year ago
I'm an ENFP, and you look Korean, as am I, half so, at least.
Anyhow, you are lovely, and ridiculously well spoken!!!
And thank you for this video, it made me smile and feel connected.
:)
omnihost 1 year ago
I learned Rule 3.
PeaceboneGotFound 1 year ago
Oh wooooow, it's like you're reading my mind
wasp2020 1 year ago
yea im an infp and this dude i was best friends with for like 3 years was also an infp and he killed himself. i wrote a doctiloquent rap about him and memories. nostalgic. anyways yea i dont even know why im typing this hahaha...
justintimeisill 1 year ago
blowing stuff out of proportion... do that too???
justintimeisill 1 year ago
Love is sooooo difficult for me as well. It seems so desperate sometimes, and then there is the crazy out of hand stuff with the anticipation and that is when the trouble can come into play. So strange...us INFPs are so complex it's not even funny.
sibowittz2 1 year ago
I looooooove you.
Kibouchan4 1 year ago
I've read that with INFPs and I have seen this in interviews with famous INFPs such as Audrey Hepburn and Princess Diana that they were extremely loyal to a point that they never wanted to face reality and "stayed in their relationships too long". I have a lot of empathy for this people when I hear this and I can relate to a degree, though its a bit different. Have you had the issue with staying too long out of hope things will change?
jenilyn8705 1 year ago
#3 was a difficult lesson for me, an INFP. Liberating, but difficult. And yet, somewhere in the back of mind there is always that desire for a cataclysmic love. It's like a faith, perhaps, for an otherwise faithless guy. Its a dangerous way of thinking, but I guess that, having learned to be realistic (or as realistic as an infp can be), I feel that I can get away with a little dreaming. John Keats must have been INFP. "Love is my religion," he said. Poor fellow.
Psittacine 1 year ago
Haha but the first time I took the MBTI it said ISTp. which seemed true sometimes but def not. then estp sligtly extro, slightly thinking and sensing. but then I realized I wasnt that loud. haha... I think. well idk.haha
littleflowwer 1 year ago
I have a really close thing when it comes to like almost 50 50 on intro extro and like 55% intuitive and 44% sensing, and like 52% feeling 48% thinking.... then deff a P.... But it still said I was an INFP. I'm such a perfectionist, and I always doubt things and have doubts bc it is not perfect and I'm not that patient bc I just see these doubts, or all the possibilities...Idk...
littleflowwer 1 year ago
Wow, I finally feel like someone understands me. I just found out I am INFP. My fiance who I have been with 7 years is an ISTJ. We clash a bit, but I think that being with him is healthy for me because I need a good dose of reality, definitely a real eye opener. I learned first hand that all of my fantasy bullshit was exactly that, bullshit! You are completely right, there is no perfect relationship, and it is unfair to have such unrealistic expectations of someone.
sarahcb87 1 year ago
You're such a darling. I always enjoy watching your videos.
*warmly hugs you*
littledarkmoon 1 year ago
so if people love the way they need to be loved, and you have been trained to give more love than they need....see the dilemma. Id like to make her happy, but the act of trying to make her happy, makes her want to run. Id like for you to to give your little tidbit, because i can feel the honesty your givin.
tvreddy86 1 year ago
i had a girl (fiance) and she was infp.. we broke up,.. i still don't know why,.. but i want to talk to some infp girl.. to give me some unswers :)
int1901 1 year ago
@int1901 i'm sorry to hear about the breakup :( what kind of answers are you seeking? you are always welcome to pm me.
infpatty 1 year ago
I love that you INFPs are so charismatic and positive about life for others. One weird question that I have for ya though. Is is true that INFPs secretly wish to be "dominated" in relationships, or is that the INFJ?
jonkarf 1 year ago
@jonkarf charismatic? i thought that descriptor was saved exclusively for enfjs! ;) i can't speak for other infps but there is a little part of me that likes to be.. hmm... bossed around? that sounds weird haha. maybe not "dominated" per se but there is a pretty sweet balance between a P and a J because I do hate deciding upon things (especially on the spot) and the J folks tend to do it quicker.
infpatty 1 year ago
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jonkarf 1 year ago
that was really helpful -- I am an INFP too
whitefoxhedgehog 1 year ago
@whitefoxhedgehog i'm glad this was helpful in some way :)
infpatty 1 year ago
I luff yew. Awesome woooords of wisdom
EnvyAbomination 1 year ago 4
@EnvyAbomination why thank you, i luff you for saying that!
infpatty 1 year ago
Speaks those words of wisdom patty!!
Antoeknee19 1 year ago
hi... im a so called 'ideal world in my head person', I dont really get the look for a savior part but i ges looking back, its obvious a mentor would have helped. A fren with a similar mind who could talk about fantasizing as well... like you.... would have helped.. i mean... we are not alone.!!
bestofcgs 1 year ago
@bestofcgs indeed, no man is an island. infps must unite! :)
infpatty 1 year ago
I know that I have such high expectations of partners and everyone in general and it's partly because of fantasy. Usually they don't live up to it and it makes my relationships so difficult and causes me a great deal of stress. I nag and tear them down for not being the way I want them to. I have to realize that no one is going to make me totally happy and just because they don't doesn't mean I can't have a relationship with them.
bit391 1 year ago 3
@bit391 so true, bit. as i get older i become better at discerning between an ideal and a completely unrealistic standard.. maybe it helps just to remind yourself that when you're really into the person, that it's okay for people to have their flaws, and that we ourselves have them as well. that's not such a terrible thing, right?
infpatty 1 year ago
I liked it and it was actually accurate and true. As an INFP, I often find myself prone to most of the things in the video and when I reflect it is just so irritating. Really great video, like the down to earth style and the advice.
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theseeker2k5 1 year ago
i loooooooove you!
im an infp too!
mntlPurple 1 year ago
Hahaha oh Patty. I could hug you. Get. Out. Of. My. Head! :P
morrrenaa 1 year ago
I am an INTP and love INFPs... INFPs are awesome.
jackooboy1 1 year ago
I'm not necessarily encouraging you to keep making videos if you would have nothing to talk about but please keep on talking. You have some decent points in your videos. :-) oxox
Steinikr 1 year ago
-Sigh- I hate being an INFP. :(
ChewItUpAndLeave 1 year ago
i saw a couple of your videos, and well this one is probably my favorite..MAKE MORE VIDEOS!!! :D haha
Denisaurous 1 year ago
love and attraction are too different things. make sure there is chemistry and a true connection besides what is in the head.
don't fantasize! analyze what is real, if you don't you will fall helplessly in love when there really isn't anything.
i'm an istp and now i don't love unless there is chemistry, had to find out the hard way.
littleflowwer 1 year ago
I also love the way that you seem to want to apologize for changing jackets for a short moment...so INFP.
stevenvenn 1 year ago
I wish you lived in Toronto, I'd buy you a coffee. :-) You have that slightly "sarcastic" (but not intentionally sarcastic, "oh my god, what did I do? This is just the way I am...ok then world, live with it...oh why can't you GET me? Why can't you all be like Gregory House?" ) tone to your video.
Thanks for these!
- Steve
stevenvenn 1 year ago
exactly like me!
Luneyune 1 year ago
Oh my God. You just described me.
Yes, I'm also an INFP. And also a hopeless romantic.
DeadForestWalk 2 years ago
Might be different for a guy. One as unconventional as I, you're right I seek out perfection and I set my sights and I either get it or I don't, well I kept doing that and I got what I wanted. Now I have a relationship worth boasting about. I'd like to point out that what you described and prescribed could be useful for any type(not sure if you said that). Love requires you to be a nurturing person because you have to handle it with care.
AJdeadK 2 years ago
This pretty much sums the main character in
"500 Days of Summer".
hauntingthriftshops 2 years ago
@hauntingthriftshops i hope that's a good thing? :P
infpatty 2 years ago
He is an INFP through and through, and
the movie clearly shows what INFPs
usually put themselves through as
they blind themselves from reality with
their ideals. Do a search on youtube
for (500 Days of Summer + Expectation vs
Reality) It's the fourth one down. This movie
was one of the best I've seen in a long time,
so we'll written and so true.
hauntingthriftshops 2 years ago
my bad, it should be the first video that pops
up when you do search for it
hauntingthriftshops 2 years ago
Amen.
Greedo311 2 years ago
i love that song, crimson and clover :) i thought that was an especially resonate point you made, that people love how they want to be loved, excellent observation! thanks for the video! (I'm INFP too!)
likethewave23 2 years ago
@likethewave23 welcome welcome! :) and thank you for watching, fellow infp!
infpatty 2 years ago
Very smart post. The irony of the INFP is that being the "most romantic" of all the types really means that INFPs -fantasize- about romance the most of all the types.
One thing I've noticed w/r to "how much is in my head" is that if you tend to fantasize about it a lot, it's mostly in your head. If you feel scared, though, it's probably real ... because you're scared that it actually might be real.
uumlau 2 years ago
@uumlau TOO. MUCH. TRUTH!
infpatty 2 years ago
(: even on the j side of things, across the board your video is endearing, honest and really prodigious! thankyou
pifapastoral 2 years ago
@pifapastoral thank you kindly! are you infj? i'm burning with curiosity now!
infpatty 2 years ago
haha yes yes, its a "blessing and a curse" your videos are refreshingly intelligent and epic down to earth awesome. go infps!
pifapastoral 2 years ago
@pifapastoral aw, your words are too generous. thank you for the comment. i'm always secretly very pleased when i learn an infj is entertained by these in some way :)
infpatty 2 years ago
INFPatty, you friggin rock :D Haha I could really relate to this whole video.. the whole explanation of the relationship not working out and wondering how much of it was actually just in your head.. until i found out i was an infp i had the problem of thinking guys seemed to be much different in my head then to maybe real life and thought it was just me... you know floating on cloud 9 then dropping down to cloud 8 7 6
anneliesex 2 years ago
@anneliesex idealization can be such a drug can't it? it's hard to control, it's manageable, it's a beast with its own mind! our imaginations get us into all kinds of trouble at times :P
infpatty 2 years ago
As WyldFire mentioned, the "How much of this was real and how much of this was in my head" is so accurate! It's so difficult to know the difference between reality and fantasy as an INFP.
I think I have to read that book, because I'm positive it's something I can relate to.
katladevote 2 years ago
I am an infp and engaged to an ENFJ and I have to say that, at least in my case, the chemistry is perfect. I saw on one web site that INFP and ENFJ are supposed to be ideal and in my case it really is true :-) By the way, Patty, you are really cool!! :-)
josephpeterelijah 2 years ago
@josephpeterelijah Congrats on your engagement, joseph! ahhh that's so great! :D yes the chemistry between enfj/infp is undeniable. do you think it has anything to do with the fact that enfj's are natural mentors and supporters?
infpatty 2 years ago
Yes, I definitely think it is because he is a mentor/supporter type (i am female infp and he is a male enfj - my youtube is my son's name :-) Also, because I have a perfect image in my head of what a mate should be and because he as an enfj is so charismatic, it fits really well
josephpeterelijah 2 years ago
"How much of this was real and how much of this was in my head?" WOW. That's a mouthful. I can definitely relate to that. Like this Third Eye Blind song with the lyrics, "Are you real to me? Or are you non-dairy creamer?" lol. Fantasies sure as hell get in my way too. And I know I too often look for a saviour. Completely unrealistic. But, as I'm growing up, that crazy ideal is slowly changing, thankfully.
WyldFire777 2 years ago
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damienvargas 2 years ago
@damienvargas i would like to be a therapist, but i haven't considered hynotherapy (i went in college when i was trying to quit smoking). i rather enjoyed it.. from what i remember, it was simply guided meditation.
infpatty 2 years ago
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damienvargas 2 years ago
Patty I think I love you :P
k thanks bye.
ps. JK. But I like your videos.
HoIIowCrown 2 years ago 7
@HoIIowCrown i love you too ;)
infpatty 2 years ago
I haven't been in love yet. I think because I guard myself to a fault and then I force this atmosphere of friendship ONLY upon the relationships I have with the menzz. It's so strange to because I fantasize about being in love and being understood all of the time but I end up setting myself for living just the opposite, then I go listen to sad torch songs and people with tragically beautiful voices.
Nevertheless I liked this video very much.
Uh Sub-a-subscribin'.
WhiskeyyWoman 2 years ago
i've done that, the self-sabotaging via friendzoning. the worse the feeling of attraction is, the more likely i am to do it. hand. to. forehead. one of these days i'm going to learn.
infpatty 2 years ago
lol too true. everything gets sucked up into our imaginative heads and that's where it stays...in our head.
by the way, love your videos so far. super cool shit
luckynumbr13 2 years ago 13
heh, i like you very much, you seem cool person,.
i'm enfp or infp, not quite sure yet, though i relate to infps as well
liluoo1 2 years ago
haha this was really wonderful to watch! :D You hit the nail on the head with all of it. Couldn't agree more on the bit about it not being fair to put the looking-for-savior mentality on someone...its very impowering realising that you are your own savior, scary but empowering. Right on!
bathymats6 2 years ago
thanks for watching, bathy mats :) i'm glad you enjoyed the message. personal accountability can def be a scary thing, but can only be a good thing for us, as we infps really crave freedom and independence. cheers.
infpatty 2 years ago
Patty, I think I love you :')
No, really, thank you for linking me! I saw so much of myself in you, especially in the way you dress LOL
I also loved how you described an INFP falling in love, it reminded me of one of those Lifetime movie scenarios where someone ends up murdered in the end, so I had to LOL XD
IAmKastor 2 years ago