Added: 7 months ago
From: TheOnion
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  • I wonder how many Americans would do a silly dance to get out of debt. Come to think of it. To see 300 million people do that at once, WOULD be worth paying to see.

  • This is exactly what happened with Wade Kach, the Republican guy who changed his mind about homosexuality within hours of actually meeting a gay couple. Fuck conservatives and their wilful ignorance, how are they allowed to even have a say on what happens in the world's most powerful country?!

  • pope pope pope pope sounds like a long winded fart 

  • lol the piolet thing !! aha im stealing tht

  • i'm willing to do an embarrassing dance to get rid of our debt

  • clouds don't work that way

  • @lotflotf No shit, sherlock lol

  • Tire dof finding the review while looking for full clips.

  • AND BTW, IM SURE THE CLOWN BARACK "HUSSEIN OBAMA" WOULD PUT ON THE COSTUME AND DANCE FOR THE CHINESE, I FOR ONE AS A TRUE AMERICAN SAYH NO!!!!1!

  • @orrgla i really fucking hope you're trolling

    this is fake dumpass

  • @bobmuffins YOU'RE THE DUMBASS AND ITS CALLED DUMBASS NOT DUMPASS YOU LIBTARD!!!!! THE ONION IS A CRDIBLE NEWS SOURCE GET THAT THROUIH YOU'RE THICK LIBTARD BRAIN!!!

  • @orrgla you are literally the worst troll i have ever seen

  • @bobmuffins WHAT IN THE HELL DOES THAT MEAN? YOUR JUST SPEWING NONSENSE AND AVOIDING THE ISSUES!!!!

  • THE POPE IS A STUPID BLIND ASSHOLE HE NEEDS TO REASSES HIMSELF WITH GOD

  • Onion speaks the truth.

  • They distribute papers in free news stands daily all over the Chicago, IL, USA area. I am not sure where else the distribute them. The Onion started out as a newspaper before Al Gore invented the internets.

  • @TheStephen1553

    killings are a trend in Christianity. ( a religion founded by a man, who was killed coz of RELIGIOUS INTOLERANCE!)

    so, no surprises here!

  • if you guys started to make a newspaper, i'd subscribe for sure

  • @Randomization909 They do print papers, but I'm not sure if they distribute them like any other paper, or if you have to order :/

  • Connecticut College !

    Looks like Connecticut is going to get hit with a huge snow storm in October 2011

    Impressive

    Love this one guys thanks for sharing the new video

  • Is it possible that pope will change his mind about gay marriage! If its true, our rights are not very far away!

  • LOOL CHINA ! U SO FONNEY!

  • professional trollis are professional

  • can a plane really land on a cloud...?...wow...heavy...

  • @bakersfieldmusicnow yes it can

  • Wow guys, if you're arguing about religion in the comments section of The Onion your life must've gone in JUST the right direction

    ಠ_ಠ

  • Meh. The Onion was so much funnier 15 years ago.

  • Thank goodnes im not catholic or i would be really embarrased by this :S

  • @DjordjeMagi why? im catholic and i though it was pretty funny. not as funny as the nascar joke though, that was killer.

  • @pkil232 well,some things are just embarrasing

  • @MarineGuild There are a lot of passages that condemn adultery, why are we not trying to make divorce illegal?

  • @BlueShreveport amen sister

  • @MarineGuild continued in Lev 18:23 "....A sexy, red hot abomination. Also no shellfish".

  • @xWhiteClaudiax I give you a handbasket of my netlove.

  • @MarineGuild

    Consider these other "abominations" found in the Bible:

    - offering an imperfect animal as a blood sacrifice

    - wearing the clothes of the opposite sex

    - eating camels, pigs, shellfish, or anything that "swarms"

    - eating any "peace offering" on the third day

    Jehovah seems to have a rather low threshold for what he considers an abomination! And we won't even mention all the petty stuff that, while not abominations, are still frowned upon (e.g., cutting your hair the wrong way).

  • @MarineGuild This coming from the same book that tells me I should mutilate my penis.

  • I really wish the part where catholic church did accept gay marriage was true, alas it is not so

  • I thought it said Connecticut Musician ?

    I guest wrong I suppose , thank yuo all the same , I really love this one

    Michael Town Pictures

  • Thank you for sharing the new video !

    Love the Movie , guys , great video

    God BLess

  • HEY ONION. I love this new weekly review news thing.. it flies so fast with so many events that it is funny...

  • ...I think China may be on to something with those silly dances...

  • NASCAR fans are deeply puzzle by a mysterious black family seeing attending multiple races. LOL

  • Thumps up if you live in Connecticut.

  • Hey guys, I got a great idea! Lets all fight and argue like whiny bitches on a video made to be a joke! That will look so fucking cool!

  • lol Black Family at NASCAR

  • don't know which planet you live on but this was great. more love to the onion! :)

  • Wow this shit is lame, what happenned to the onion new?

  • why do people always argue in the comments, was no one else impressed by the skills of that drunk pilot? Hell i'd fly anywhere with him!

  • @giovi2009 I dont have to respect any ignorant and divisive 2,000 year old bronze age belief, that makes zero sense. Who came up with this "respect" thing for religion? People can worship who ever and all of that, but my point was that once it becomes forced on others, there's a serious problem.

  • @NUGNESS123 Aren't you enforcing your beliefs by calling religions ignorant? Why do you care if a religion you're not apart of holds a belief? Forcing your personal opinions by insulting someone's beliefs makes you lack the unbias credibility needed in this kind of debate.

  • @giovi2009 Obviously, you do not understand freedom of speech nor freedom of religion. Here's how it works: you get to believe whatever religion you want, and I get to say why its stupid. I am not forcing my views on others, I am practicing free speech. I do not care if people worship whatever they want, however, when it is forced on others in any public sense, it is wrong and it violates freedom of religion. That is how this works. If you do not understand, take a political science course.

  • @NUGNESS123 Both those freedoms are protected under the First Amendment. By that logic, if the government isn't involved, it's their right to say whatever they want. People have common sense to ignore beliefs being shoved down their throat or else there'd be more Jehovah's Witnesses. I mean, it's obvious you have a problem with religion, telling others why you think it's stupid, and that imposes your beliefs on others just like someone imposing their religious belief. And that's your right, too.

  • @giovi2009 No, your exactly wrong. Me insulting religion is free speech, NOT forcing my views on other because I am not a person who can legislate actual laws. Religion putting a cross on the world trade center and outlawing gay marriage IS in violation of seperation between church and state and violation of freedom of religion. Me and religion can fight all day, however, when religion starts to become enforced on ALL, its wrong. Do you understand this?

  • Comment removed

  • @NUGNESS123 The KKK has free speech to, doesn't mean what they're saying should be heard. You put down someone's beliefs cause you got personal issueswith it. Too bad, religions have rights for speech, too. People are smart enough not to listen if they don't want to. And you wouldn't put something that actually was at Ground Zero in a museum cause it brought hope to millions of people? Why is that wrong? You prolonging our argument is childish. Let's stop here, cause the internet doesn't care.

  • LOL the drunk pilot made me roll off my chair XD

  • id be surprised if the pope did approve of gay marriage...... with him being an ex-nazi and such

  • if you are a pedophile priest Bishop vlazny would like you to joint him at diocese of Portland Or. Free STD check, free legal defense, free porno movie. If you get suspended for sexual misconduct you will get unemployment benefit for 20 years. Pedophile priests are us.Diocese of Portland.Bishop Vlazny is the king ping.

  • Wow that pilot must've been really drunk to be able to do that

  • @UnicornandPie One of the funniest comments I've ever read on youtube.

  • LMAO at the drunk pilot!!! WOW!

  • LOL the pope thing seems like it could actually happen.

  • Why does every Youtube video with more than 50,000 views turn into an argument in the comments? Last time I saw a crowd of 50,000, I don't remember anybody saying SHIT. It's funny how everybody is tougher and smarter when hidden by an electric wire and a monitor. PLEASE, and I'm asking this nicely, Will you SHUT UP AND WATCH THE DAMNED VIDEO? Quit wasting the rest of your day arguing with somebody on a video that's supposed to make you laugh. Ahhh, I feel better now, sorry. Back to the Onion!

  • @thewiseonehere People are supposed to argue in comments, it's a constitutional right to argue in comments. Go ahead prove me wrong.

  • LMAO "black family at NASCAR"!! Muahahhahahhahahah

  • I don't believe that people should have gay marriages, but I also don't believe in straights having sex before marriage, TELLING OTHER PEOPLE WHAT TO DO. I have friends who do things I think are wrong, but although I don't encourage them to do so, I still try to be a good friend and not push the issue if their mind is made up. Nowhere in the Bible did it say that Christians are called to force people to come to it. We're supposed to love EVERYONE, and fix ourselves, not others.

  • The dislike bar is like justin biebers dick, it's small and only grows when touched by an asshole.

  • @xdragon616 god dammit i thought that joke finally died

  • Easily the funniest news recap I've seen so far.

  • @JollyGreenGiantCock lol good show

  • The cloud bit is fantastic.

  • that would be sick to park on a cloud

  • They should turn the comments off to leave the idiots in the dark!

  • I hate these videos!

  • I think it was me who bought that little clay thing at the arts festival, what the fuck was I thinking?

  • Actually the Catholic Church places restrictions on allowing disordered lifestyles to to be seen as anything other than that. That's really all there is to it. Serious comment.

  • I'm gonna clear the air, so there is NO confusion.

    Connecticut people, gay or not, are NOT witty nor charming. They are just bitchy liberal crybabies.

    Also, I'm willing to dress up in silly suits if it means erasing our dept. But only after we get a...ahem...LIGHTER SHADE of a president then the one we currently have....if ya know what I mean?

    That guy in the back...he knows.

  • @vjm3 Are Connecticut Republicans liberal crybabies as well?

  • @VictimOfBoredom: You seem to miss the fact that Connecticut is ONLY Liberals. Probably why it's the highest taxed, yet least productive state.

    In all seriousness, Connecticut Republicans ARE liberal crybabies! They're rhinos, all of them. Now if you were talking about Connecticut CONSERVATIVES, then yes...everyone in Connecticut are a bunch of flakey pale crybabies.

  • @vjm3 39% of Connecticut voters voted for McCain in 2008...

  • @VictimOfBoredom: 100% of Connecticut voters can't stand black men, especially if they're in a position of power. Apparently, 39% of Connecticut voters actually took the initiative to vote against him, instead of listening to what the media circus told them to do.

    I love how seriously you're taking this. :D

  • @vjm3 Black Connecticuters can't stand black men?

  • @VictimOfBoredom: You've clearly never met black people before.

    I'll say it again:

    I love how seriously you're taking this. :DD

  • @vjm3 I'm not sure how the mere act of me responding indicates I'm taking anything "seriously".

    Excuse me if you have a shitty sense of humor...

  • @VictimOfBoredom:

    You mad? I think you real mad. xD

    It's ok, it's important to express your feelings open and directly. It's better then posting passive aggressive messages about a topic you're desperately trying to underplay your anger over so you don't look like the oversensitive twit that you are! Through youtube comments none the less.

  • @vjm3 I have no idea whether you're even liberal or conservative. You're not making any fucking sense.

  • @VictimOfBoredom Stop feeding the troll. He's getting overweight.

  • @VictimOfBoredom i think he's trying to say they can't vote. =)

  • Love is love and it's silly to put restrictions on it in this day and age!

  • Hell yea! Dance that fat away America!.... I wish that was true, I really want to see it

  • did they replace the voice over dude?

  • *you're

  • Thumbs up if your from Connecticut.

  • @EyequeenCasskulla Thumbs up if you're a charming gay couple from Conneticut!

  • Pearl Trees Of Life [a vast Biblical resource]:

    [3w dot] pearltrees [dot com] [forwardslash] awhn

    Freely you have received, freely give...

  • @Jasonhalo0 so it's ok for gays to not adjust and ignore society, but society has to bend over backwards for gays?

  • @mosteel88 Society doesn't have to do anything except realize there's nothing wrong with being gay. it's not that hard to do

  • @Jasonhalo0 Well when you're right you're right. Next society can realize there's nothing wrong with polygamy, zoophilia, pedophilia, and why not the dendrophiliacs. I mean they were probably just born that way right?

  • @mosteel88

    Dendrophiliacs, you mean greenpeace? I thought they were kind of accepted in our society.

  • @mosteel88 lol please tell me your kidding buddy. if not then go play in traffic, your detrimental to mankinds progress

  • @mosteel88 Right. The same way they banned slavery and gave women equal rights. The things you listed are different because in that case not both parties are necessarily willing. In the case of gay couples, both people know that they're gay and consent to having sex with someone of the same gender. I personally have nothing wrong with polygamy if everyone agrees, same with dendrophilia if they're not whipping their dick out in public. In zoophilia and pedophilia, not every party consents.

  • @mosteel88 I'm sorry, that last one was a little scattered. Basically, if all parties consent, then it should be OK in my opinion

  • @Jasonhalo0 idc that they do it, it's the ramifications of it being socialy accepted. take gays in the military, for 8+ weeks groups of guys and groups of girls dress and shower together. Whats the difference in a gay and a gay or even gay and straight showering together than to let the groups of guys and girls shower together? You know that would cause and uproar. The most populer response is "they should be mature its not a big deal," leading me back to whats the difference.

  • @mosteel88 There is no difference. I see no problem with guys and girls showering together *as long as* it won't affect their performance, which it most likely will, which is why they are separate. And that "what's the difference" should be the mindset society should have. Which is why I'm saying to stop thinking of it as awkward if two people with a penis are kissing.

  • @Jasonhalo0 But even you just had to admit "it most likely will, which is why they are separate." That is the mind set of society, and you apparently. Society is simply the mind set of the majority, so even the ppl who might argue on here, most of them don't jump at a change to help their gay brothers and sisters. Don't just give us a problem "change society" you need to come up with a method as well.

  • @mosteel88 Yes, I do think that most guys are sexually attracted to girls, I am at least, and if I was to shower with girls I would be distracted. The way to change society is to change your own mindset, and then if you can attempt to change your friends' mindsets. Small steps. If we were not talking about something in which performance was important, let people shower with whoever they want, nobody should care, and nobody would be able to even tell the difference.

  • @Jasonhalo0 Thats already happening though, gays are living together everywhere. My community has just about every couple combination possible. The church is a private group, but why do they care what the pope thinks, just dont go to those churches, poeple have private worships all the time, or they can start their own chirch group. Gays join the military every day, and the ones that don't make a deal out of it pass, all you have to do is hide it in public till you get your own living quarters.

  • @mosteel88 Well then there you go.

  • @mosteel88 Could you maybe find something better to do with your life Mr. 'oh my God people of the same gender fall in love and I have to freak out about it even though it in no way affects my life!' ? Try fighting against an issue that actually needs to be fought against, like, maybe something that actually adversely affects someone's life.

  • @ScarletRose1994 That's simple, it wouldn't make me a very effective troll now would it?

  • @mosteel88 dendrophilia? Have you ever heard or seen anyone fuck a plant before?, and if omeone want to fuck a dog, let them, they are the ones that will get some sort of disease, why should you care?

  • @argonoch why not just kill them so the dog doesnt have to be tortured

    inless the dog is into it... then whatever as long as i dont have to watch]..lol

  • pretty sure the american chinese thing isn't too far from truth

  • really wish the pope story were true, the world would be a much better place

  • I just came up with a new update: Local man eats at Chinese restaurant even though suspects he might be eating dog.

  • Go Nutmeggers...

  • I love how it says July 11 2011 but it was uploaded on the 19th

  • @ETF1318 cuz its the week before.

  • the suggested dances and their american values chart made me think of the YES dance

  • @mustafa2984 You know, I'm not a big believer in God, but I do believe that there is a quote going, "Only He without sin can cast the first stone," which means your opinion on anyone in the world is irrelevant. In the Bible, there is no absolute proof that God hates homosexuals; there's no existing text that straight-forward says that homosexuals will be condemned to Hell. Besides, the Bible says a lot of nonsense, like if a girl is raped, she HAS to marry the rapist, for she is "tainted."

  • @samacoy My hatred towards fags has nothing to do with the bible or god...

  • @mustafa2984 Then why would you say "Go to hell fags?" Hell is a religious afterlife of pain and suffering; only someone who's aruging for the sake of God or the Bible would come out and put "Hell" in there. If you were saying it only for yourself, not only are you extremely narrowminded and most likely insecure about yourself, you probably wouldn't put "Hell" in there.

  • @mustafa2984 Lol by saying stuff like that, you're just sounding like a closeted gay..

  • @mustafa2984 So does that mean you DON'T want me to suck your cock?

  • @mustafa2984 i agree with you completely there buddy.

  • at first i thought this was real, until i saw The Onion in the corner

  • I tried to click the pause button at 0:46 to read the text, but accidentally clicked the "like" button, only to find out that giving this video a thumb up is exactly what I want to do.

  • hahhahah apilot news is the bestest

  • only the plane and the cloud joke is funny. the rest are just shit

  • lol at the black family at NASCAR races!

  • Glad they finally changed the narrator. It's seriously a world of difference.

  • LOL i love this

  • If only erasing our debt to China were that easy... :)

  • @levihambrick it is. we have a military dont we?

  • isn't our debt much higher than 10 trillion? o_O

  • Lol I keep seeing these CRAZY titles without realizing they're from the Onion and I'm just like HOLY SHIT THERE's NO WAYYY! -_- damn you onion!!

  • @WOWISTOOADDICTING LMAO same!

  • Its clear to me that it was Chuck Norris who was piloting that plane, its still unclear what could he possibly have drank to make him drunk? Alcohol is not very effective against Chuck...as we all know

  • @xxrookyxx

    Maybe he was tankin' on straight high octane gasoline or even jet fuel ...

  • @TheTortugaTanker LOL now it all makes sense

  • wait, the Vatican agreed that the BIBLE is wrong? Did I just hear that?

  • @gulbirk Yes. Why wouldn't they? It clearly is.

  • @Venjamin Yes, but but but, this is the vatican dude.

  • @gulbirk Of course it is wrong, why else would they be writing a gritty reboot?

  • @gulbirk The Sodom and Gomorrah stories describe sexual immorality and attempted assault of angels. However, homosexuality is never mentioned in the story, and the gender of the angels is never specified. Most people who have read it conclude that it is about assaulting strangers rather than offering them safety and hospitality. Leviticus specifically mentions homosexuality, but only in reference to ritual cleanliness and temple laws which modern people do not follow. So... yeah.

  • @VictorianBeauty1878 Scripture does tell us the gender of the angels. Please read Genesis 19 in the ESV translation. Clearly shows the two angels to be male. Also homosexuality is spoken about numerous times in the New Testament.

  • @stupidnoobpub I've been in active Bible studies, thank you. I have read it. Reality is that most of the time people warp and twist the Bible to support their beliefs rather than holding beliefs that come from the Bible. The Bible doesn't say a lot of things people say it does. The Bible also says a lot of things I suspect Christians wish it didn't.

  • @VictorianBeauty1878 are you arguing on an Onion video? uh oh

  • @kparrinello Fair Play, actually. Not really an argument though. Just correcting some "OMG they said the pope disagreed with the Bible!" nonsense.

  • @VictorianBeauty1878 You still didn't address that in fact the Bible does specify that the angels are male and it does in fact in multiple areas of scripture both in the new and old testament condemn homosexuality as a sin and an act which separates those who practice it from God. And relating back o your original comment, last time a checked, a city full of men rioting outside of a house asking for the two men in there to come out so they can have sex with them falls under homosexuality.

  • @stupidnoobpub Actually, it falls under sexual assault of someone who should be treated as a guest. If they had been female would the actions of the men been acceptable and sin free then? Or would sexual assault as long as it's not homosexual be acceptable?

  • @stupidnoobpub Well here's some news for you, it's actually been found that the part in the bible that says "man should not have sex with another man" (yes I do not know the actual passage but it comes out the same) is actually a mistranslation. It actually says that a man should not have sex with his servent, quite different from what you think eh? Really all i'm trying to say is that there are so many mistranslations in the bible how can you take what it says for truth?

  • @stupidnoobpub you forget that it also necessarily qualifies as gang-rape.

  • @nerdyharry Okay so it is also gang rape. Doesn't change the fact that it is homosexual act and that the city was known to be inherently wicked and incredibly homosexual. Just as when someone is murdered, murder is not the only sin committed. Often it could be anger, envy, lust, or any other number of sins as well as murder.

  • @stupidnoobpub i think you might be known to be inherently wicked and incredibly homosexual. are you sure you do not lead a double life?

  • @gulbirk: No, it's fake news. It isn't real.

  • The video made my heart jump. Then I saw the uploader name, took a few minutes to calm down, and went back to eating.

  • I love being an atheist, plus isn't this video supposed to be about China and Gays? Why all the Hitler debating?

  • @Pokeking709 Funny thing about being an atheist, lots of people are going to dislike you just for being one. Not that I mind, the majority of them don't have any decent arguments.

  • @TheDestinyDragoon That's because most of us who are intelligent aren't trying to start arguments with religious people. As long as you're not trying to impede on other people's rights and freedoms, you have the right to believe whatever you want.

  • @ThisIsMyAltAcnt Are we the only two people on the internet who believe that? It seems like any mention of God has to turn into a flame war.