Zero Punctuation: Assassin's Creed

[ramble306]

-_- I just started playing this game... I thought he was exaggerating about the faffing about.

[1492jebus1492]

"a spoonful of watery ejaculate between two pieces of wood"

[keniakittykat]

I... I came for the promise of pony on the thumbnail...

[Ottoplemeniti]

Clash.

[MrShiny2000]

Its true... your practicly wearing a big flashing sighn saying ''im an assasin'' cuz your the only 1 wearin white with a sword, knifes, etc.

[Luigi2446]

i prefer assassins creed 2 in some ways but not all

the combat in ac2 was just...counter...counter...cou­nter...YOU WIN!

in ac1 it was at least a little bit difficult but anyways

ac1 was also to me VERY repetitive while ac2 had SOME variety sooo there still fun though :)

[FinestSeven]

God i hated the leper one's.. And when they showed me in to the sea.

[aliencheesemaker]

@FinestSeven That was drunkards :3

[FinestSeven]

@aliencheesemaker Oh well.. There isn't too much difference..

[aliencheesemaker]

@FinestSeven Same AI

[thedebatecast]

...Review Space Invaders.

[MD5771]

The Clash - I Fought the Law

[kensredemption]

I prefer the first installment over the overly-hyped, steroid-pumped monstrosity that it's become. The fact that Ubi tried to make your targets more human was a huge plus for me, rather than breezing through the campaign in a matter of hours like they did with ACII, ACB and ACR (Which is a fucking monstrosity). I swear to God, had I gone uninterrupted I would have finished the main story in 6-7 hours at the most.

[TpAcTuKa]

Assassins creed BEST GAME EVER!

[Xuvial]

There was so much potential in this game but as Yahtzee said, Ubisoft clearly had no idea what made this game fun. You'd think calling it "Assassin's Creed" was enough of a pointer that people loved the sound of being an ASSASSIN - and it was, mostly.

So why in daisy fuck did the last 1-2 hours of the game comprise of nothing but being FORCED to fight 10+ enemies in an enclosed box with nowhere to run? How does it make any sense that Al'tair is fending off 8-10 people who've surrounded him?

[GhostLink92]

Would someone kindly explain to me what the fascination with Branston Pickle is?

[Fangtorn]

@GhostLink92 The way it tastes so wrong and yet so right. I don't even like it... but ... I ... eat ... it ... anyway, because ... I like not liking it.

[GhostLink92]

@Fangtorn Guess I'll have to try and find some over here in the States.

[TankMedia]

The one time I want you to take a shit on a game you say "It's not bad." Fuck you Yatzee.

[Scrabzord]

Linkin Park is not emo. Why does everyone seem to think that?

[Fangtorn]

@Scrabzord Because they sound so freakin emo. I know they're no technically emo, but that's how they sound.

[MarioHaloid566]

I FOUGHT THE LAW AND THE LAW WON!

[manjos1]

I wish my penis looked like that :(

[Dragoonfly96]

AC2 was worlds apart from AC1 ( to clarify, it was much better)

[bdsorensen]

Why does Altair look so sad in this video.......

[MJGAMER12]

@tintinytdj Brohoof.

[Reconical]

@MJGAMER12 Hi, Myles :D Its Michael. P

I IZ BRONY NAOUW

[tintinytdj]

*ponies*

...HOLEE SHEET LET'S WATCH EEET

[Oksinn1]

I used to do arrow in the knee jokes then i took a bullet in the elbow

[cjrosa6]

Benny Hill!

[MrCaleco]

so twue...



[Gstroy2]

@PyrozPlayground I used to think that those jokes were stupid too, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

[imanoob221]

He Mentioned Blackpool I live There!

[PyrozPlayground]

Would you stop with the knee arrow crap. It got old when it was put into skyrim in the first place. 0_o

[EpicFishFingers]

@PyrozPlayground Iasn't that the definition of a meme? Doesn't it need to be repetitive and unfunny in order to actually be a meme in the first place?

[PyrozPlayground]

@EpicFishFingers Well whatever it needs to be it can be on its own. It just needs to stop. lol

[234689ify]

@PyrozPlayground Exactly. Now ill go tell 5teampunker to piss off.

Since he gets around with the meme's...

He's probably a TF2 fanboy like all the others...Get you're shotgun NOW..

[PyrozPlayground]

@234689ify And the 17 others. XD

[FearlessSpinner]

@PyrozPlayground I used to bitch about arrow in the knee but then i took a hidden blade in the back

[PyrozPlayground]

@FearlessSpinner At least that's original! I think. Not sure. But it sounds like it is. Anyway, I'm not bitching. I'm just really fucking annoyed by every-single-body saying the same fucking shit over and over again. It's done. Thousands of people did it. Let go of it. Make some other joke. At least make an original joke. Damn it! XD

[FearlessSpinner]

@PyrozPlayground True! But i made a mistake its an "extendo blade" :D

[PyrozPlayground]

@FearlessSpinner lol

[Fundablade]

@PyrozPlayground I used to avoid making arrow in the knee jokes... Then i took an arrow in the knee.

[lordmatthijs13]

@Fundablade i used to make arrow to the knee jokes then i got a brain IN my HEAD

[Fundablade]

@lordmatthijs13 I used to have a brain in my head... then i took an arrow in the knee.

[AngusFerris]

@PyrozPlayground i use to think those jokes were stupid, then i took an arrow to the knee

[micfey121]

@PyrozPlayground i use to stop saying arrow to the knee jokes ......hehehe...............THE­N I TOOK AN ARROW TO THE KNEE

[PyrozPlayground]

@micfey121 I guess it's never gonna end, so I might as well sit back, relax, and take an arrow to the knee. 0_o

[Fangtorn]

@PyrozPlayground No! Fight them! For the love of god it must end sometime! It's driving me crazy! Yesterday I got so sick of these "jokes" on Youtube I thought I'd play a little Skyrim to escape. I forget where that line came from. Well, he used to be a Guard, then he took an arrow to the face.

Whiterun is quiet. So quiet.

[PyrozPlayground]

@Fangtorn X'D Thank you for cheering me up on this one! X'D My kinda sense of humor. LOL! Priceless!

[RogerabbitGosu]

@PyrozPlayground

I was gunna get pissed off and tell you to lighten up...

But then I took an arrow to the knee!

[PyrozPlayground]

@RogerabbitGosu Let's all just sit back, relax, read the other comment where I realized it's ok to take an arrow to the knee, and take an arrow to the knee. lol

[TheGeneralCritic]

@PyrozPlayground Yeah, I thought it was funny, too. But then I took an arrow to the knee.

[WelshDrummerWill]

@TheGeneralCritic There's a special place in hell reserved for people like you.

[TheGeneralCritic]

@WelshDrummerWill Right next to the "Stop Having Fun" guys.

[WelshDrummerWill]

@TheGeneralCritic Except this joke is so overused it's nearly as sold out as Stacey's Mom.

[TheGeneralCritic]

@WelshDrummerWill She's got it going on, you have to admit.

[WelshDrummerWill]

@TheGeneralCritic She is all I want come to think about it, and I've waited for SO LONG.

[TheGeneralCritic]

@WelshDrummerWill :record scratch: I GOT IN ONE LITTLE FIGHT AND MY MOM GOT SCARED AND SHE SAID 'YOUR MOVIN WITH YOUR AUNTIE AND UNCLE IN BEL AIRE!'

[DiagonalChimp]

The audio isn't dead, it's just de-synchronized

[HaloMaster1337234]

@DiagonalChimp (CAPTAIN OBVIOUS STATEMENT AHEAD) The irony being that it really is...

[keepdeathonhold]

@5teampunker i feel like if Yatzee ever stops making videos he will say "i use to make videos then i took an Arrow to the knee.

[TheMicbreakers]

@5teampunker Fuck yourself.

[hall9111]

@5teampunker If you're having knee problems let me tell you son, I got 99 problems but a knee aint one.

[charliesbass]

@5teampunker HAHAHAHAHAHAH YOU ARE SO FUNNY AND ORIGINAL! see, you took a line from a game and customised it to assassins creed! U R SO FUNNY!!!!!!11111!!!!11ONE1!!!O­N3!!!!!!!1

[MrOmgwtfWaffles]

@BrandonWoW123 You need to learn the meaning of comedy.

[0cguitarfreak]

@BrandonWoW123 He is a cynic... it is all for comedy

[NagisaFTW]

the audio's off sync

[Draxzar]

Je Suis En Grand Willy

[The1andOnlyCG]

0:40 ROFL

[TwinUzis]

Haha. My Little Pony horse.

[rudorot65]

assassin's creed didnt suck at all. i have to wait til christmas to get my copy of ACR (effing parents) but the series is one of the best games ubisoft put out

[McChomper011]

wats the end song called



[TwinUzis]

@McChomper011

You know it tells you right in the video what it is, right?

[arbitterm]

I miss Yahtzee picking his own intro and outro songs.

[KelseyWolf]

Once again you've brilliantly summed up a game XD

[geekjacob1]

2:30 2:58 3:37

[csbatboy1]

The horse thing was really the only thing that got to me, though of course, the beggars and crazies do make me shout obscenities at a television screen like it'll actually start playing nice. Aside from those minor fractures, this was a pretty healthy body of work. I like it.

[catgeeks]

u no wat i really didn't like about this game? none of the assassinations were possible by stealth. I only managed one that way and that was by accident. I thought he was a guard!

[Jafroboy]

I was actually expecting MLP jokes, thanks to the thumbnail.

[cannonfodder4000]

@Jafroboy

I expect them everywhere, because they are everywhere. =L

It gets annoying, somewhat., especially when they're not funny, which is all the time.

[PureZOOKS]

@Jafroboy brony?

[Jafroboy]

@PureZOOKS ?

[PureZOOKS]

@Jafroboy are you a brony?

[Jafroboy]

@PureZOOKS No, why?

[GugiMandini]

there is no better than ZP

[scorpioghost1]

what's his obsession with Brandson Pickle?

[AxelXGabriel]

@scorpioghost1 Its a favorite food of his, but it's also used as a metaphor in his reviews to mean "So unique that you must try it."

[Varyalover]

The first assasin's creed IS the best in the series. 2 and Brotherhood had no immersion, horrible and linear gameplay, bad voice acting, and a shitty storyline and atmosphere.

[AxelXGabriel]

@Varyalover How is it the best? Not only did each of the Assassinations in AC2 were a lot more fun and actually had you DO stuff instead of just doing the same errands for random people over and over, but Ezio actually had a PERSONALITY. Altair was just the same brooding low voice like all faux-badass try to use, while Ezio starts as a fun loving teenager and gradually matures into the Assassin he was born to be.

[Varyalover]

@AxelXGabriel EAch assassination was more fun? I wasn't exactly melting with pleasure when they FORCED me to assassinate him in a certain way, only to get cought for my love of battle and having to start all over. Do stuff? Lol not reallly. Altair's personality was alot more low but being an orphan, and the mysteriousness made him alot more interesting.Ezio was just a punk, I hate punks. Voice acting, I repeat, was shit. Which is a shame because ac2 had MORE voice actors.

[AxelXGabriel]

@Varyalover At least they had variety! In AC1, EVERY single time, I had to listen to some big rant about how the guy was evil, then all I had to do was charge the guy and stab him. In AC2, I at least had to chase them down or infiltrate a building or even assassinate them in different ways. Yeah Ezio STARTS as a Punk, but he doesn't stay that way! And the voice acting was way more worse in AC. In AC2, they at least had emotion in their voices.

[Varyalover]

@AxelXGabriel FORCING you to play a certain way once or twice, like at the end of ac added challenge. FORCING you to play the entire game that way, was just fucking supid. Ac1 gives you full choice of every assassination, save the last 2. And if I'm not mistaken, ac2 also had the annoying rants? (Of course there's no replay so there's less emphasis on them)

In ac2, other than this slight emotion you couldn't tell, there was no emphasis or emotion. It was just a poor shitty actor going 'assas

[Varyalover]

@AxelXGabriel 'assassino' or some shitty italian and half english teh entire sentence. The voice acting was an utter piece of shit joke. In ac1 at least they added immersion and detail in it, which was quality.

When a french guard in Acre yelled a taunt, and an english footguard yelled "Assassin!Send help!' with a halfway decent soundtrack playing, I felt inimidated. In Ac2, I laughed. Then cried my eyes out at how dissapointed I was in that shitty game. Ac brotherhood also fell short.

[AxelXGabriel]

@Varyalover How the hell is doing the same retrieval missions, the same races, the same boring follow and kills OVER AND OVER AND OVER for every single freakin' Assassination in AC supposed to be fun?! There was fucking VARIETY In AC2! And I don't see at all how the Voice Acting in AC2 was bad. In my opinion it was way better. The accents were more authentic, carried more emotion and didn't drone on and on and on like in AC.

[AxelXGabriel]

@Varyalover When people yelled, there was passion in their voice and the bad guys actually sounded like they were doing sinister things! In AC, they just talked so boring like it was just their desk job! If there's no passion in wanting to stop them, why the hell should I be invested! Plus, Like Yahtzee would SAY in the next AC review, the guards don't overreact to EVERY FUCKING THING you do like in AC. I actually had fun in AC2. AC was just busy work, or "Faffing About" like Yahtzee said.

[Rotavator06]

I really like the combat, actually. It's very fluent.

[MrInsanity1234]

What is it with you and poo, man?

[StunnedMutha]

i think this has actually made me want to buy it now.

[catgeeks]

HE'S SO RIGHT!

[hill506]

pretty good opinion

[j4ff4c3ks1]

the game was nice.

But hes right, even if you speedrun the game, you end up with killing more civilians than mission targets

[djduaneB]

stop sounding like a whiny little bitch and start enjoyin good games stupid bloke

[DaBlueWind]

@djduaneB it's his job as a critic to bitch about games

Wouldn't make sense for a critic to not criticise

[awsomeman1810]

guys you know the buffering circle? i just found out something really really weird is you go into full screan and it starts buffering press the down key and you play the game snake WTF!

[j4ff4c3ks1]

@awsomeman1810 man thats a new discovery, as you are the first one to find out about it maybe you should name it. If you cant come up with a good name, i got some:

NO SHIT SHERLOCK

Also if you were serious, you must be blind. If you were a troll, keep on trying.

[awsomeman1810]

@j4ff4c3ks1 I'm sorry i just never knew about it. Sorry again have a nice day.

[0x28]

@j4ff4c3ks1 Look what we have here. Someone who wastes their time trying to find easter eggs and on top of that is enslaved by society's memes.

[TheDarkHadoken]

Shoryuken!!!!!!!!

[hurleydare]

haha, Birmingham on the same sign as Acre

[yourdemiseishere]

what ever the claptrap they want.........OLLOLOLOOLOLOLOL (i iz randum nub)

[TheRoyalAquamaster]

2:13 AAAH PAST GENERATIONS KILL IT WITH FIRE

[TheFreemanVids]

@TheRoyalAquamaster

ORBITAL FRIENDSHIP CANNON SYSTEMS ONLINE! READY WHEN YOU ARE!

[Gasoline85]

"Any last words?"

"BLABLABLABLABLA".

LOL

[Hawkins676767]

You said you just give that woman a soft punch and they run off. About 3 seconds after one of them starts getting in my way I pull out my hidden blades jump through the air and thrust them into her mindless skull and then continue running from guards that caught me doing the same thing 2 blocks away. lol

[realsgtskywalker]

J'adore la pussy moi aussi!

[J4K31]

Je suis un grand willy

[Parachuteification]

@J4K31 YOU ARE A BIG WILLY.

[PainisCupcakeee]

@J4K31 j'adore la pussy

[tmantonym]

@J4K31 J'ai un grand willy

[nioor]

@J4K31 You're a dick? A huge one as well?

[J4K31]

@nioor Do you want some cream for that butthurt?

[horrorandclassics]

@J4K31 well done year 7

[J4K31]

@horrorandclassics Wow, who shit in your coffee this morning...?

[horrorandclassics]

@J4K31 no-one it's just the fact that a year7 or 6 could easily say that. It makes me want to point out the obvouis so i did har-di-har-har

[playmobilecow]

Love all the assassins creeds can't wait for revelations to come out

[AzureTheStealth9]

@playmobilecow The only good sins creed in my opinion is Assassins Creed 1

[Xprimentyl]

@4:04, I spit coffee on my screen.

[Laidleypunk12]

THE CLASH!!!!!

[33NSAR]

@Laidleypunk12 my god you're predictable...

[Laidleypunk12]

@33NSAR Merely stating that the Clash are an awesome punk band and the world is a better place for their existence ...

[Rimfaxe96]

Lmfaoaoaoaoaoaoao. xDD