The roots of violence

[SovereignBeing]

Someone can;t give you what they havent got.. the buck stops with our generation. no more perpetuating the violence and abuse.. being treated like we were treated stops right HERE. with us.!

[SovereignBeing]

cant wait to read Miller's works.. at least someone is refusing to take the apologists stance and letting this subject be aired. I have never met anyone who has not been with verbally, physically, emotionally, or sexually abused in their upbringing.. Most parents do a criminal job of raising their offspring and few actually qualify for the job, ithink the degree system should include parenting studies & unless you put in three years & pass that exam, then sorry but U are not worthy of parenting!

[Westlake72]

There is much truth in this text but it also erroneously gives the impression that children who are abused invariably become abusers. As well as being untrue it gives an alibi to the abusers and stigmatises the abused - which ironically is abusive itself.

[gatsby7000]

How was Alice Miller's relationship with her own mother? Where can I find info on this?

[bodyneverlies]

@gatsby7000 there is not much written about this, because she pretty much kept her own past to herself. There was one interview about her by her son in SPIEGEL, but it is written in German language. If you wish I could send you the link... (I am not sure maybe they are having a translation there as well).

[gatsby7000]

Alice Miller's message is the single most important insight circulating in the world today. It, quite seriously, takes precedence over ecological, technological, and political issues. - True change, true transformation in the world, starts with child care. As simple and naive as that may sound.

[bodyneverlies]

@gatsby7000 you are so right. I am even convinced that all the world would look totally different if we would admit her theories and have them as standard (just imagine they would be taught at school). But this is far from being present, the fear of the own parents is too immense.

[legi0nnaire]

traumatic childhood ruins the whole life.

[leonheart00]

Oh you guys are complete idiots. There is no such proof of that claim, nor is it even remotely realistic.

[jeromek10]

No such proof of what? What is not even remotely realistic?

How can anyone exchange points of view with you when you don't assert anything specific?

[bodyneverlies]

@leonheart00 probably you find enough proof if you do read Alice Millers book - if you doubt what is said by the video

[DevilWomanCake]

Thank you for spreading this much needed message. I think I will be subscribing to you now :)

[L1ber8ted]

This is the single most important video on youtube, and the most important topic mankind will ever face.

[mcphilthy]

Agree 1000%

[rootsnequality]

@L1ber8ted ABSOLUTELY, whether people want to understand child abuse and it ugliness, Alice Miller's work can be applied to all facets of human growth. She was a picture of grace and reflects in her writings. The soul hears, the body knows and yet the mind still denies. Her and many others of her contemporaries are with the strong willed.

[keisha027]

GREAT vid. but i find tha end was bull, not all ppl who are treated lik dey supposed 2 becom, healthy and highly sensitive, with tha inability to commit harn onto othaz or denselves,coz dat aint tru. and deres no such thang as bein treated tha normal way coz wtf iz normal anyway? no one iz eva perfect like dat: intelligent, responsive, epathic, highly sensitiveetc. (u can grow up in a gd environnemnt wit gd ppl but u can still becom physically,mentally,emotionall­y,etc. ill).

but still gd vid.

[bodyneverlies]

@keisha027 there are no murders that had a nice childhood - see What makes killers kill by Jonathan Pincus. Childmistreatment can even start with words and the way you are looked at - you will find no single person that is behaving destructive if this person grew up in a loving caring way - it is not about being cared materially but as well or even more emotionally.

[aikido7]

Unfortunately, fundamentalist and evangelical Christianity believe we were born sinful. This was Augustine's theory that sin is actually passed down through the generations through male sperm.

But since the church has often become a bureacratic salvation machine, it won't work unless you agree to be sinful, agree to be unforgiven and agree to feel guilt.

Don't worry, though. Mainline biblical scholarship shows us this was not Jesus' vision of the Kingdom of God...

[goldengreek25]

She says the normal reactions to abuse and neglect are anger and pain...what about sadness?

[aikido7]

Unexpressed anger and pain produce sadness. It is sometimes said that depression is a "cover emotion" for sadness--although I am not sure if this has been studied and documented. But if we have a sad life, it would not be a surprise to me that on some level we know that our past abuse and neglect prevents us from having a fulfilling and realistic life.

[KDW74]

I own the books "Banished Knowledge" and "For your own good" by Miller. I wish I had read them a long time ago.

[pinklady9901]

I love Alice Miller! Her books should be required reading for everybody. If every parent stopped the cycle of abuse (spanking, yelling, humiliating etc.) and raised their kids with love and kindess... there would be peace on earth.

[ellandelachapelle]

I have found (to my surprise) that Jesus is a great role model for all who do NOT believe in black pedagogy and authoritarian principles! And it is simply INCOMPREHENSIBLE that parents, priests and teachers have used his teachings during 2000 years to opress and scare the hell out of children! Can't they READ??? I mean Jesus was FIERCELY anti-authoritarian. He refused to obey the rulers! (and only listened to his inner voice.) Please read what AM says about this!

[bodyneverlies]

but jesus did what he was told by his father. He died because his father wanted him to die and therefor christianity is not the answer but your body is telling the truth. A father who wants to see you dead for any reason does NOT love you!

[PeeGeeBeeDee]

@bodyneverlies My MIND is telling ME no, but Your BODY is telling ME yes.

[bodyneverlies]

@PeeGeeBeeDee if you want me to listen to you, I will

[PeeGeeBeeDee]

@bodyneverlies But your bah dae, your bah dae is telllling ME yeh hessss...

[bodyneverlies]

@PeeGeeBeeDee that's a nice game you're playing but I am too old for this

[PeeGeeBeeDee]

@bodyneverlies I don't wanna HURT NOBODY, but there's something I must con fe hesssss...

[aikido7]

Jesus made savage attacks on the family values of his day & did it very, very often. He rises above tribalism, domestic abuse & violence & first-century patriachal family authoritarian models. He has a lot to teach us, as long as we use proven methods for separating out what Jesus actually said from the words put into his mouth by the later evangelists. Jesus is different from the church's Christ, Son of God, Messiah, etc. Those are not descriptive words, but words of faith and religion.

[ellandelachapelle]

Most heavy criminals think they are GOOD and that they had a good childhood! (I read this surprising statement by someone who had worked a lot with people in prison.)Actually, it only CONFIRMS Miller's theory! But of course "good" people can use violence. How about all the soldiers in the world? Not all of them are "evil" persons! But it takes a LOT of courage to refuse to obey orders. In many cases it means you will be shot yourself! (Christ showed this sort of courage. He chose death.)

[5996699]

i love love love Alice for this knowlegde she shares with us !!!!thank you so much. x

[iQuaereVerum]

Good to see there are people here who know Alice - always a relief.

[tomorrowsboy7]

I know what you mean.

Sometimes I think that we are living in a generation that doesn´t seem to even notice that there are OTHER people around,no less ever CARE for them!

[iQuaereVerum]

Yes - a double relief to read your response.

[tomorrowsboy7]

I too always enjoy meeting people who are familiar with her work.

Personally I read her books starting 20 years ago,and she has been an invaluable help to me in discovering my childhood and getting my life back.

If you want to continue corresponding,answer on my page and I´ll give you my personal address.

[vwlf]

Yes, I have read all of Alice Miller's books, and I found For Your Own Good (available to read for free on the 'nospank' website,) to be amazingly enlightening. All violence and mental illness are caused by child abuse (which includes spanking, time outs, and all forms of humiliation, authoritarianism, and emotional abuse towards children.)

[alex4dh]

I would give all the ratings in the universe for this video - thank you for opening this topic and finally bringing Alice Miller to You Tube.

[stedyplotn]

I'm sorry I couldn't find the exact episode in which the details of 'WHO' with regard to DELIBERATE AND INTENTIONAL CHILD ABUSE are there.

I would tell you to do a search for David Icke.

One of his videos shows that child abuse IS PART of this agenda. It is SUPPOSED to happen. Someone WANTS. IT. Forcefully, deliberately, desperately.

We are all but on the defense. Maybe it's good to see the big picture, so as to answer questions that. That's if you didn't already know that

[vwlf]

Yeah, the people pushing child abuse are doing it because they were once abused themselves and chose to identify with their parents instead of their own body - everyone from the people in the bush administration to the mother down the street who spanks and/or yells at her kids are the ones with this 'agenda,' but it is nothing sophisticated or scary - it is just a sad, deluded game of repetition. Alice Miller is much more perceptive on it than david icke is.

[stedyplotn]

u'r missing the point hon. of course all u said was true. on Icke's defense he covers a B R O A D range of topics and miller only covers childhood. anyway the point...

the point is that it is a conspiracy. and it is intentional.

it all starts from smacking babies right when they become born to "make sure they're alive". ;D wake the f up everyone. u don't have to scream in agony to prove u'r alive. u just have to breathe.

[vwlf]

Alice Miller's work is very broad, too, actually. But I do agree that smacking newborn babies is a very abusive, traumatic practice; so is circumcision.  It just don't think it has anything to do with the illuminate, or 'reptilian humanoids,' but if David Icke wants to take children's emotions and their right to their body seriously, then fine.

[stedyplotn]

uh, of fuckign course he does. the man can do no wrong.

u disagree that those are abusive? um. some little child comes in to the world, what is their welcome, smacking.

uh, yeah it is traumatic for them. not that that's the point the point is it's DONE to them. unecessarily. why? cuz it's part of the conspir. that's why.

[stedyplotn]

Hello projectEnlightment

I just want to you give you the answer to one of your audiences questions of ""a fact that we are still forbidden to recognise"

Forbidden by who? Any reasonably educated, intelligent and sensitive human being understands these things. I don't feel this is a forbidden idea."

I will point you to the answer of "WHO???"...I'm fairly new so I will repost this through a video response if possible. I am posting this in case that's not possible. Pls see:

well.. sorry.. tbc

[projectEnlightenment]

I thought 12notice answered this question very eloquently and accuratley. There is nothing to add on my part. But I appreciate your concern and the resources you are pointing to.

[stedyplotn]

Sorry, my point had not been to imply anyone was inadequate. The sole point in my post had been to point out that resource. Nothing more. Sorry if there were any implied put downs.

[superhappylucky]

@stedyplotn what alice miller is referring to, in terms of "forbidden" is the 4th of the 10 commandments: "Thy shall honor thy father and mother" - this commandment has been interpretated in our society as "obey your parents, no matter what they did to you as a child, and no matter how ill you are as a result of it" - adult children of abuse will often do anything the parent wishes especially to receive the love and approval they never had. They get sick and die early as a result.

[tritri2008]

@stedyplotn

Look at the roots of your anger. why do you get angry at this?

There you will find the answer to your own question.

Dig and dig up.

[nickmichnich]

yes thats it:) from motorcycle diaries..thats what i know it from.. did cry there..

thank you

[nickmichnich]

hey there this is very nicely done! thank you!

can anyone please tell me the name of the first song?? i know i heard it before but i cannot remember

thnx

[projectEnlightenment]

The artist is: Gustavo Santaolalla

The song is called: De Usuahia a la Quiaca

I love this piece too; it really moves me.

Thanks for you kind comments, and take care!

[scaryflakybiscuits]

"a fact that we are still forbidden to recognise"

Forbidden by who? Any reasonably educated, intelligent and sensitive human being understands these things. I don't feel this is a forbidden idea.

[12notice]

Hi,

Have you read it all? It should be well illustrated in the text above.

Forbidden by the parents. Who themselves in many cases had to put their feelings to rest.

You can have all the education in the world and still not be aware of your own suffering.

And it certainly has nothing whatsoever to do with intelligence that can be measured through tests.

[peterkyte]

Curious as to who or what you're replying to....

[intactivist1]

Beautiful use of words and music. Alice Miller's powerful message that should be understood by all. Thank you for posting.

[UnificationNow]

this is so well stated...thanks!

[eruittam]

good work

[jesperhultkrantz]

five stars and a sun

[MatthewLeee]

Enya and Alice Miller, perfect.

[djlookwood]

Alice Millers worksi s probably the most important of it's kind. Until we honour children according to the childs innate natural expectations we will continue to cause harm as a way of life. The fact that both her work and the work of Carl Rogers remains ignored by "education establishments" all over the world is indicative of how much "Power" depends upon us harming our children as the basis for it's being.

[ktbcurious]

THIS IS WONDERFUL!! Fully agree with all statements. Shame we are such a race of munters on the whole & will never, ever sort this out. DAMN IT!!!

[12notice]

Never say never

[goldengreek25]

you just did...jk

[12notice]

;-)

thanks

e

[hetZaad]

Alice Miller needs to go down in history as one of the great names of all time, up there with researchers like Tesla.

I've uploaded a video that expresses Black Pedagogics called Psycho Analysis of a Hun and write on my blog Anno70 dot nl about the policial repercussion of her research.

[12notice]

I signed up to comment on this one.

And the comment is that I concider this one to be the most important one on you tube. And beautifully done too.

Thank you, projectEnlightenment indeed

[peterkyte]

How does the author explain chilren who, even though raised properly and tenderly by loving parents, go on to commit horrible acts of violence. While I agree with the basic idea of this the answers it posits are too simplistic. Once again this is an issue that cannot be solved by a four minute and thirty eight second video on You tube!

[projectEnlightenment]

Point 2 is taken, but that's why Alice Miller wrote 13 books on the subject, and maintains a website that contains a wealth of information as well.

[projectEnlightenment]

What evidence do you have to back up your claim that children who were loved and respected by their parents commit horrible acts of violence? Tell me about one serial killer who was not abused (emotionally or physically) in childhood. Talk to prison inmates and ask them about their childhood, and let me know what they told you.

[peterkyte]

Maybe were using the acts of 'horrible' violence to flippently. I realize they were my words but it doesn't have to be horrible acts of violence. Good people do bad things. Not all people who commit crimes or are violent have had horrible childhoods.

[12notice]

that is my view of it. They do in some form have experiences that bother them so deep that they commit crimes. ALL of them. And many more that do not commit crimes but become ill or suffer have experiences from childhood. That is to me what this video is all about. The roots of violence. All people that are treated well and with love will not be able to do "bad stuff", whether to themselves or others.

[peterkyte]

There may be a lot of people in prison who say they have had horrible childhoods and most of them are probably telling the truth. But in some cases adults will blame their childhood to obsolve themselves of any personnal responsibilities.

[projectEnlightenment]

That maybe the case, but adults rarely blame their abusive childhoods for their adult behavior (see part 2 of point 8). They blame themselves for being a "bad" person. However the first step in healing and breaking the vicious cycle of violence is to know and FEEL the pain one had to endure as a powerless child.

[peterkyte]

I went to Alice Miller's web-site. Does she have any children of her own?

[projectEnlightenment]

Yes, she has 2 to my knowledge.

[goldengreek25]

What do the terms "properly", "tenderly", and "loving parents" mean to you? Would you elaborate a little?

[peterkyte]

Look it up in a dictionary -Look, my point is rather simple...sometimes one can't control one's chrildren no matter what kind of parents you are.

[goldengreek25]

I'm afraid it's not that simple. When YOU think of "proper", what comes to mind?

And, as hard as it may be to believe, healther parents don't want to control their kids. They can enjoy them however they are. Healthy kids don't want to cause trouble, so their out of control is very enjoyable. When they are laughing, crying, being still, or just being crazy, it;s all ok and lovely. And when you have a parent who have the ability to NOT control all that natural bahavior, you get healthy kids :)

[peterkyte]

When you pick apart every word in my argument you're not listening to the spirit of what I'm saying-I didn't say parents have to control their children...I said parents sometimes have to control (read choice) as to what their children do and become. All they can do is love their children, teach them as best they can and provide a safe atmosphere for them to grow up in. You're taking each word out of context and disecting it in a literal meaning. I'd hate to be your kid. Sheesh!

[12notice]

and I would really, really love to be goldengreek25's child. I think that would be just wonderful. And all that I would need. (I will come bace and try in next life lol - too old now)

[goldengreek25]

Why would you want to control what your kids do and become?

[peterkyte]

My comment should have read "have no control" not "have to control".

By control I mean choice of what their children do.

I had a great family who supported me no matter what. Even when I was making bad choices as a young man.

[12notice]

hello,

I would like to comment here. I do not think that even choice of what their children do is necessery, you can surely provide a safe athmosphere for them to grow up in, like you say. Why should parents have a choice as to what their childre do or become? I am glad that you had a great family that supported you, that is the most important thing.

[reVerse2bfree]

Really interesting stuff but I am a slow reader and found the word disappeared to quickly. Could you please slow it down a bit please.

[projectEnlightenment]

Good point. I will work to improve the timing. Thanks.

[aikido7]

You can hit the pause button, too. That's what I did...