Data: Joke About Kidneys

[LamonicBomb]

LOL i love how data chases after geordi; thats so awesome.

[HumorisLogical]

Its past midnight and I laughed before he got to the punchline. XD

[cwross1976]

i'm sure i'm not the only one who thinks it would be so damn cool if we could make robots just like this, or maybe the milk bleeders from alien... or the hot blondes from BSG... yeah that would be better... sexbots... mmm, yeah. is it wrong that i would 'do' data just to see what it's like? probably... especially since i'm a guy... ah well.

[StarfruitsurfridaHHH]

what?

[SakuraMoonflower]

It sounds like a speech impediment, but wording it it "I SAID 'Kidleys', didl I?" sounds like he said "Did I Lie?" and a play on "Didn't I?" ... simultaneously making it sound more like a speech impediment. It's pretty unclear... ergo, I seriously don't find the joke funny... but the moment itself is hilarious. Data is such a creeper here, I love him. <3

[abborne1]

@SakuraMoonflower There's a fine line between a speech impediment and a dialectal shift. In either case, differences are funny. Deal with it.

[GoodLifeGodLike]

Man I wish I could go back to 1987 and watch this series for the first time all over again. There will never be anything like it.

[scopeeyevideo]

@GoodLifeGodLike If you went back to 1987 to see the series again for the first time, you could see "Naked Now", "Code of Honor" and "Last Outpost" one after another... The experience could lead you to give up on this half-baked new Star Trek show. :)

[dadoctah]

A man goes to a store and asks to buy some kidneys. The man in the store says "Do you want those to go?" and he responds "What else would I do with them?"

[SergeantAbsynthia]

He is using contractions, I believe, because he is sort of playing back the joke. It's not something he made up himself. Sort of like when he says "Honey, I'm home" in 'In theory.'

I think the problem with contractions comes when he is making the sentence himself and not just repeating stuff.

[TheWeepingCorpse]

I did LOL, does it make me a bad person?

[ensignlilyjavert]

...he used a contraction. O_O

[zvuk]

@MNsportsguru kidneys, kidleys, didnt i, didl i, clearer?

[Yonkage]

Reminds me of the joke about an asian man who goes to eat at a Greek restaurant, everytime ordering "flied lice", and is made fun of for it. So he takes classes to pronounce it correctly, and then goes in and orders "fried rice". The waiter, expecting him to screw up, asks him to repeat himself, and he yells:

"You heard what I said you flucking Gleek!"

[JAZMINPISACO]

The joke is quite naive and silly, but the way he told it made it sooo funny!!!! XD Data would be a great comedian.

[gamesafoot16]

left the best part out!

[aluisious]

"Ohhh no..."

[WintergreenSparks]

The joke isn't funny in the least, but I still can't stop laughing.

[TheJoseph4774]

If he wanted to make me laugh, he should have mooned the blind guy.

[allabastormaroe]

that was funny as hell. i gotta use it sometime

[trsdos]

RUN GEORDIE RUNNNNNNN

[Gordontrek]

ERROR: Data used two contractions here. "I'd like to order some kidleys" and "don't you mean kidneys."

[NecessaryTruths]

@Gordontrek Perhaps he can use them if he's simply reciting something he's read or heard. Deciding when to use them in his own speech would seem to be more difficult. Of course, he's done that as well.

[trlkly]

@NecessaryTruths This was early TNG (fourth episode). They hadn't decided on the contraction thing yet. It wasn't until DataLore, episode 13.

[NecessaryTruths]

@trlkly And yet he used them many times after that; even in DataLore when asked if he was okay, he replied - "I'm fine."

[bladeofbattousai]

I love how Geordie tries to run, and Data cuts off his escape! Man, I loved this show!

[Sweetassour]

Who remembers the episode when data tries to understand the concept of humour and tells guinan a joke and she says "it's not funny, maybe it's your timing?" and data says "my timing is digital" XD

[NecessaryTruths]

@Sweetassour "The Outrageous Okona" - TNG 2x04.

[Heya4000]

The only person that data can tell his jokes to isthe blind guy cuz he cant run lol.

[Halo1138]

Geordi's really good at pinpointing locations! 

[Lenora1854]

Lols, after like four years, I just got it.

Kidneys: kidelies

Didn't I: Didily?

Wow. Fail.

[MaidenMarian]

This continued for the rest of the week, until Geordi managed to hit Data's off switch while he was particularly immersed in a joke.

During this time the Enterprise exploded three times and the crew was forced to say, "Computer, give me such-and-such information" instead of calling the second officer to their rooms to answer simple questions.

Also, there was a heavily felt shortage of babbling. Many died.

[thepurplecrystalz]

that was actually pretty funny. lol

[quosmo1]

i didnt get it :S

[tuseroni]

if data can use contractions in quotations, and he can certainly SAY a contraction (ie: you said "repeat after me 'im data'" he would likely repeat exactly what you said) why can he not make it part of his programming. i mean seriously, its easy...look:

"s/i am/i'm/g"

thats it, thats the change he needs to his program to use contractions, how fucking hard can it be.

(though i think not using contractions is cooler)

[buzzhonky]

Data just used a conjunction....

"You mean kidney's don't you?"

[msinvincible2000]

@buzzhonky it's not a conjunction: it's simply plural.

[buzzhonky]

@msinvincible2000 "I'd like some..."

"I'd" is a conjunction of "I would" Although in both uses he is quoting another man.

[LuvMeLikeIAm]

@msinvincible2000 I think it's the don't, he should've saud "you mean kidney's do you not?" but that doesn't make any sense.

[LaromZenshin]

@buzzhonky Yes, but he was repeating a quote from the man. In that sense, he has to use the contraction.

[smcneal057]

The obvious successor to Spock.  Thank you Data.

[felic70]

rofl

[msinvincible2000]

oh come on, I loved the joke.... ahahahahaha

Geez, maybe I'm becoming like Data

[Phelan666]

@msinvincible2000 I liked that joke, too.

[RazFan11]

I love his face when he tells this joke! It's better than the joke itself :)

[detahdomo]

To tell this joke properly you have to slowly advance on your victim until the punchline is complete.

[focusandcreate]

@detahdomo

ahhhhaaa! great one!! but hey... don't make fun of data he rules! nice, though..

[IsoscelesKramer]

The fact that he tells it with such a straight face makes it so much funnier!

[Atomsk648]

i understand the joke completely and i crack up every time lol

[focusandcreate]

@Atomsk648 lol... me, too.. it's an awesome joke

[MrStickywicket]

Hahahahah omg this is brilliant once you get it

[BlackScarabZ]

Wheres his visor and i don't get it.

[Charmolution]

@BlackScarabZ

Data stole it from Geordi so he couldn't escape.

[leeham991]

Hahaha holy crap!



[kris8144]

lmfao!!@!

[aperson22222]

I don't get it.

[TheHomelessCripple]

@aperson22222 he replaced the "n"s in kidney's and didn't with "L"s

[aperson22222]

@TheHomelessCripple Right, but where's the joke?

And another thing, why is he looking so menacing while he tells it?

And why does Geordi take his VISOR off to shave? That seems counterproductive.

[jacksawild]

Just like that.. Tommy Cooper

I went to the dentist, he said "Say AH". I said "Why?", and he said "My dog just died!"

just like that

[VitalSigns1]

LOL

[RaynorX]

lol @ geordi

[FairCogent]

I assure you that my humor is fully functional.

[Cocksalsa]

He looks like he's gonna rape Geordi.

[SR71ABCD]

00:02 La forge Oh No i'm listening get out!

[McCoYiSaWsOmE101]

haha love geordi's "oh, no" when Data starts with the joke lol so funny

[amhaun01]

ohh, i remember going around in high school telling this joke to everyone i knew....

[horaciosi]

@amhaun01 And did they all tried to run away?

[01NX]

lol

[BritishWarLord]

i dont understands it

[churchmousie]

Does Data go, "Boom-BOOM-boom!" at the end of the joke, like he does in, "The Outrageous Okona"? I'm not sure I've seen this episode. His delivery is so canned here (straight face and delivery timing), it's hilarious just watching him! :D Meanwhile Geordi is like, "GET ME OUTTA HERE!!...", lol.

[mtrekdata42]

Lol, no he doesn't. x} He ends up waiting for Geordi to laugh *much to his disappointment.*

But I agree, this is pretty freakin' commical! XD

[mtrekdata42]

I love a few seconds later in this scene how Data accidentally says, "Includi-ling the kid-ileys."

He is SOOO cute there!

[MuEpsilonGamma]

wait, that is Data, isn't it? he said "you mean kidneys, DON'T you?" Data can't use contractions!

[LadyMagiccc]

yes it's data, he could say "don't" because he just repeat the words in the exact same way he heard it!

[kargaroc386]

also, it would not make any sense to say "do not you"

[MuEpsilonGamma]

"do you not" makes sense though

[Sc13nc3F1ct10n]

I don't think he can use them in conversation, but when repeating jokes or stories he can.

[mtrekdata42]

That's right. Like LadyMagiccc said, he can repeat something exactly the same way he heard it. That's the precision of a computer for you. =] In the very last episode "All Good Things..." he has mastered contractions in normal everyday conversation. But for the rest of the series, he still can't use them except in imitation.

[Stefnir94]

Badump-psshh!

[okuno54]

How did Geordi know to stop when Data walked in front of him, seeing as he's blind and all...

[tigercubgurlie]

um....his VISOR

[CookieJunkie67]

is he wearing it?

[golden24680]

When your blind you hear vibrations.

[kvn8907]

Good vibrations?

[golden24680]

I doubt it.

[IsabelBarrett40]

Maybe because Data bumped him?

[Hugoman900]

he can hear data in front of him

[sallytack]

I thought Data was deaf

[nicky120791]

Yeah, he's blind, not deaf! xD

[mouse264]

My gosh... That was thw orst joke ever. I love Geordi's attempt to escape

[sara31700]

Data is very very funny i love brent spiner

[Grykus7]

Geordi got Handi-Bashed by an android!

[MultiAfan]

Very funny video.

[danandmei]

what??

[EchoBoomer1987]

*The Reading Rainbow Sound: Dadadat!*

[HanninhaK]

This joke is so funny!!!

[xeractus]

Tormenting blind people with terrible jokes- Datas original programming.

[Conchobhar]

Data is abusing the blind.

[BorgHub]

how the hell did geordi see that data blocked his way and was moving toward him?

[hazzamo]

He didn't see Data, he heard him. The sound of Data's steps and the sound of his terrible joke.

[issu999]

i laughed at the joke, lol. and i love the way he's chasing geordi (who is blind and without his visor) the whole time:D

[Gopeno]

i don't understand the joke.

[eddie517]

That's okay. It's not a very good joke.

[Killuminati911]

word play rigth?

[hanyzzka]

@eddie517

It's a great joke. Just because Data is telling that joke.

Words of psychoDatafangirl.

Thank you for understanding my obsession.

[irreverentmoose]

You did-l-n't?

[smith3451]

@Gopeno kidneys / kidleys - didn't I / diddleye

[VitoPossilipo]

@Gopeno I think the joke is that the potential buyer has got a speech defect but didn´t know it.

By the way: How does Geordie realizes that Data is approaches? Because Data´s voice gets louder?

[Herbarius]

@VitoPossilipo hearing and temperature sense?

[lovethatturtle]

@Gopeno that's alright, i didn't get it either.

[sabserab]

Hididdely ho neighbourino!reminds me of Flanders lol

[astralentity]

i notice that his character uses contractions a lot in the first season. he doesn't in later seasons, which is more true to his character

[cjk002]

Data can't use contractions, only his brother Lore can.

[astralentity]

we all know that, but some scenes it sounded like brent slipped a couple

[cjk002]

I would have thought they would have caught that in the editing, but if there were, I never noticed it.

[NullShade]

I've never understood why Data is incapable of using contractions. Unless it were something included, in the manner of his bright white skin and yellow eyes, as a deliberate way of setting him apart.

[shadowtweet]

lol looks like data is kind of pissed off when he's walking toward the other guy while telling the joke.

[SnarkLicker]

What makes it classic is that he's chasing Geordi down the whole time. XD

[grumpytosnowwhite]

LOL I love the way he says it so blandly, and doesn't get it at all! Classic joke, I actually recommend watch this terrible episode just for that one scene.

[BulgeDiesel]

Which season and episode is it?

[grumpytosnowwhite]

Whoops, I mean Code of Honor, season 1. Totally crappy episode, don't watch it, just watch this clip here.

[BulgeDiesel]

Thanks.