Monty Python Self Defence Class

[Lacrosse9009]

Why are they wearing women's gymnastic shorts?

[isaysmileplease]

That's better! NOW SCREAM! (Harrison's scream makes me laugh so hard, It reminds me of like, a bird or something. )

[oldpeoplerock182]

hey mr. apricot, its harrison, ah mr. harrison!!!!

i have never laughed that hard in my life!

[dannyboyTa22]

whole and segments.

[adjam1991]

I got attacked by a man with a banana once. Thankfully I had seen this and knew what to do.

[HulloKat]

HOW did Eric keep a straight face as John screamed in it? Wow! haha

[grasso7171]

73 people got attacked by someone carrying a pointed stick . . .

[simon44]

Only funny in the last few seconds. I was forced to do a skit of this a few years ago and hadn't seen it before now. I love Monty Python stuff, but this is utter crap.

[DaSchnozzz]

@simon44 that's part of the joke..it's a build up to the punch line. :/

[makeuprocks1234]

tee heee



[Az4z3l11]

"Quote from the video"

[Broezzz]

that scream at the end kills me xD

[AlistairAI]

"You Force 'em to drop the banana. Then, you eat the Banana, Thus disarming him!"

[armadafanforever]

I love Eric's posh accent when he says "Like someone who attacks you with a poin-ted stick."

[slida65]

Good chit

[The6465465]

Funny crap

[TaimaDjinn]

"Guns are not toys. They're for family protection; hunting dangerous or delicous animals; keeping the King of England outta your face; and for defending against maniacs with fresh fruit!"

[100disturbedrule]

cranberries can be deadly

[Chantzehao]

Everyone here thinks this is silly, but seriously, have you ever been attacked by a Durian?

You'd thank him for these defense skills.

[SWI0001]

WHEN YOU GO HOME TONIGHT AND SOME GUY ATTACKS YOU WITH A BUNCH OF LOGANBERRIES DON'T COME CRYING TO ME

[pdeteresa]

or try holding 1!

[sMACkedaroundTV]

What of they have a pointed stick? SHUT UP!!!

[MegaMetalhead98]

hold 9. LOL

[socialpissed]

85% of statistics are probably made up.

[thaguf]

Pointed sticks, my worst enemy.

[HerrFitztastic]

71 people are homicidal maniacs armed with bunches of berries

[EvilStrangeness]

71 people are banana fiends.

[iananimatorpro]

71 people thought it was a python game

[habopizza123]

But bananas are not fruits

[DJSbros]

@habopizza123 Stay in school, if you have some how graduated, go back.

[Shootbag]

"What if he has a bunch?"

"SHUT UP!!"

"What if he has a pointed stick?"

"SHUT UP!!!"

[Jonaszu]

and the moral of the story is: fuck self defence, get a gun!

[lugia970]

71 people have the last name: apricot

[Cartman1182]

Thumbs up if you were eating a banana whilst watching this

[kralmir]

maybe he shoots 1 every time and thats why there are now just 3 left and 3 fruits they havent covered yet. also somehow they keep forgetting he shoots someone every time, work with me here dammit.

[Cheabs123]

70 people got attacked on their way home by a man with loganberries

[TheWereplatypus28]

OHMYGOD THEY SHOT GRAHAM! Wait....does Eric have a unibrow?

[papasmerf767]

R.I.P. Headphone users XP

[AlchemicalDavid]

@papasmerf767

LOL, I wish I'd read your post first. I've got a bloody headphone amp as well :D

[blazaboi2k10]

@papasmerf767 MY EARSSSSSS it was so worth it thou haha:P

[zarulhairee]

banana stick...

[TheCatapultTV]

Fresh fruit wasn't good enough for 69 people.

[Jfrozin]

69 people ... Oh that's nasty guys...

[nathan96berry]

lol i didnt expect him to shoot him i thought he was goin to beat him up hahaha

[rajisama]

68 people aren't able to defend themselves from a banana.

[DarkAgent747]

lima beans are a vegetable

[impala5160]

@DarkAgent747 He said logan berries not lima beans.

[manomon01]

FIRST OF ALL YOU FORCE HIM TO DROP THE BANANA, THEN YOU EAT THE BANANA THUS DISARMING HIM, RENDERING HIM USELESS! LMFAO

[Maelstromner]

I would pay to have a self-defence class against the instrucor.

[badnewsBH]

@SynapticElucidation Gun Fu never fails.  :P

[constantpoo2]

Yes gentlemen, but this fruit lesson is different from the rest, it will be the last thing you ever learn.....

[DarkKonvict]

MY EAAARRRSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ThatGirlWithTheCards]

"Suppose he's got a bunch?"

"....SHADDUP!"

"Suppose he's got a poyn-ted stick?"

"SHADDUP!!"

No matter how many times I watch that bit, I end up laughing like a complete loon XD

[XinoBrix]

I'm a banana...

[totalbadass500]

And mangos in syrup...

[GAMESaROCKN]

Reminds me of the toast scenes from Red Dwarf. I can imagine them combined and with "So you are a banana man then".

[dharmaseed]

I liked the Flying Circus version better.

[heatbucspies55]

TO me, some monty pythin sketches are hilarious the whole time, and some aren't, but the thing they do at the end is always hilarious.

[mustafa12222]

Pineapple

[nikoli46]

isnt a banana a herb?

[bputra13]

They didn't use durian!

[GuillemotWatcher]

'Next! I eat the banana!'

[blaklodge]

65 people thought My Two Dads was a great show

[TheIke2b]

Its quite simple to deal with a banana fiend, first of all you force him to drop the banana!

[hockeydaavid]

"Tomorrow, where doing the fish-slapping-dance!"

[Emzyxx100]

Force him to drop the banana then eat it !! ahaha looolzzzzz

[WintersI44]

Looks like 64 people did not succesfully defend themselves against a fruit weilding attacker.

[oppositio1]

2.30 - 3.00 is the best part:D

[oppositio1]

2.30-3.00 is the best part:D

[HerrHoitzing]

So when i'm go shopping and the greengrocer wants to promote his bananas to me, I have to shoot him down?

[bestshowontheweb]

I was talking with my friend about Monty Python when my girlfriend showed up and asked who he was. I tried to attack her with a bunch of Loganberries. I have multiple stab wounds now.

[Mrfireface1]

This isn't nearly as funny as coach Hines gym class from mad tv. But still good

[spiritwolf1970]

Never ever come to a gun fight armed with a bananna...

[akborderkid49]

I wonder how many people were in this class 9 weeks ago

[JJT428]

which monty python is this from

[armadafanforever]

@JJT428 Their first movie, And Now For Something Completely Different

[Artandor]

that seems like a real self defence course in real

[emmywright]

Wot about a pointed stick?

[SteJay1000]

62 people have been beaten by fresh fruit.

[ItalianBandit]

62 people have pointed sticks...

[krissthebliss]

@ItalianBandit cause its effective!!! :D

[birdynumnumski]

@ItalianBandit nice one

[RacoonBurglar]

2:20 HITLER!!!

[metalmessy123]

i wanna smoke weed with the instructor...

[setsunasamachan]

Lol so true. Guns win again.

[MadamButterfly8]

Next i eat the banana

[VentBoy311]

THUS disarming him!!!!! lol

[MRiFXXK]

Probably Would Have Won If Instead Of A Banana He Attacked Him With A Pointed Stick

[OjikesShadow]

1:05 I honestly don't know how Eric Idle is refraining from bursting into laughter right here. Anybody else would have at least cracked a smile. True masters of comedy can not only tell a good joke, but play it straight when needed, and these guys are certainly masters.

[TheCaulfield1]

"We've done mango's in syrup" ..........LMAO!!!!

[TDaViEzZ1994]

"Banana" Horrible tinny sort of word

[morrisal]

I'm in love with british humour - _any_ british bloke could seduce me with his humour. ANY. haha.

Monty Python is unfuckingbelievably fantastic, that's for sure.

[1952YOU1320TUBE1952]

@morrisal

have you heard of Eddy Issard,check this out, Eddy Issard Death Star Canteen



[GinryuStargazer]

@morrisal Much better than that slapstick you get from America, hmm? XD

[Yonin777plus]

I think if he had a bunch of bannas the outcome wouldv'e been the same.

[MXCRT5]

Suppose he's got a bunch?

...SHUDDUP.

[AkatanomastosCFH]

How can you not laugh at this? Monty pythons is the best!!!

[666Rufio]

tem vídeos parecidos no blogdocovil . com

[aceman667]

pointed stick... hahahaha

[Redbloodedsky]

lol! I always wondered how to defend from a banana attack! xD

[dedsall78]

That ending was awesome!

[Supercooltoutou]

I love it !

[RectumPilum]

This isn't the original sketch...

[hardXcoreminecraft]

I think I know where everyone else was..

[LionLiberty]

SHUT UP WITH THE POINTED STICK HOW ABOUT A KNIFE?! THAT WOULD BE USEFUL!

[squaferno]

That's how the American's defend themselves. Buy a gun and hope the attacker doesn't have one.

[N0StallGi3r]

Oh God I can't stop laughing.

[Spystreak]

that instructor is obviously unaware of the killing potential of a " pointy stick"

[lordxeras]

@Spystreak what kind of idiotic bloke runs after a guy with a pointed stick?!

[GHeroandRScape]

i like the other version better its a little faster and john is meaner

[VigilanteAgumon]

With the recent reports of exploding Chinese watermelons, this sketch makes a lot more sense now.

[PinkMoonMagic79]

@VigilanteAgumon Wow, exploding front doors, erm, sorry, watermelons. I must have missed that. Cucumbers are one to watch for, as reported in recent weeks, albeit slightly differently categorised!

[jtwigger1993]

lmao



[GrisGrisOnUrDoorStep]

come at me as vicious as ya like!!

[anima2221]

XD XD XD he shoots the guy!! XD XD X'D is that how u get some1 to drop a banana?? XD XD

[missloulorac]

love this........ they rock

[FXHoax]

Ecky thump beats the banana.

[HeadofIbis]

OW OW HO we wanna learn how to defend ourselves against pointed sticks, do we?! Getting all high and mighty, eh? Fresh fruit not good enough for you, eh?

Ow ow WELL LET ME TELL YA SMTHNG MY LAD! When yerr walkin' out tonight and some great homicidal maniac comes after you with a bunch of Loganberries, don't come cryin' ta me!!!

[dragonster82]

Next, i eat the banana!

[matthewmch]

...and mangos in syrup! 

[drizzt0909]

57 people got shot while attacking someone with a banana as their weapon

[Guyect]

I like the flying circus version more in every respect save one

John Cleese's delivery in this version is much better

[siprus]

XD

ok come now attack me!

*aaa....*

*BAM*

XD

[rachcow]

57 people need to be attacked by a homicidal maniac wielding a pointed stick!

[MsTiberiius]

Today I said something about Monty Python to my friend, and behind me two of the preppy girls said, "Who's Monty Python?"

I killed both of them with a banana.

[VintageBalderdash]

@MsTiberiius Should have used a pointed stick.

[GunCops]

@MsTiberiius right, your stupid-people kiling skills are remarkable.....

[DeadNorwegianBlue]

@MsTiberiius Why not with a pointed stick?

[Zoobra947]

@DeadNorwegianBlue coz u suck

[DeadNorwegianBlue]

@Zoobra947 really? you couldn't respond with something wittier like: Shut Up?

[MsTiberiius]

@DeadNorwegianBlue BANANAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU, EH?

[MsTiberiius]

...Aaand mangoes in syrup..

[thinkulye]

@MsTiberiius thouse girls should have took this class to protect themselves against fresh fruit

[bestshowontheweb]

@MsTiberiius Giggity.

[hulmedogcity]

@MsTiberiius i showed this to a mate and he asked me if the stop that its silly guy was monty python

[janiol69]

@MsTiberiius I get that a lot peoplpe dont know them

[LarisaFrolova]

@MsTiberiius What?! They didn't take banana defence lessons?!?!

[Kozelek95]

@bumblebuck Why?

[helldude1000]

im gonna kill somebody with a banana

[SorryImUberlyAwesome]

"Good, now scream!"

*girl scream*

[ManUtdRules1]

OMG, the ending is so awesome, can't stop laughing

[Chipolinosh]

you are assholes! i can't imagine what kind of nerds would discuss the word spelling when initially you're on this w-page to watch MP. who fucking cares?as long as you understand MP it doesn't matter if you're a yank or a brit, but this conversation is beyond nationalities - you are dickheads...

[GinryuStargazer]

@Chipolinosh THANK YOU.

[xhyungxjinx]

he peeled it wrongg

[minesharp]

we have'ent done bananas 'ave we?

[CheeryChan1243]

56 people don't know how to defend themselves against bananas.

[FlipUltraHD]

pause the video

press 1

play, wait one second and then hold down one.

[anonymousartist89]

I love the way the gunshot echos forever after the initial shot!! XD

[BMAnnArbor]

@hancar .......technically you would have already made your exit.

[hancar]

British humor is the best! I've been laughing my head off at all these brilliant british comedians for the last 40 years or so. When I die I want "Always look on the bright side of life" to be played at my funeral and everybody attending should whistle along, now that's an excellent way to make an exit, don't you think?

[ZacharyHere]

@hancar I was planning on playing "another one bites the dust" at my funeral.

[demonicspire1]

@hancar no it isn't, its a terrible thing, and I personally think you should feel incredibly ashamed. Besides, there will be absolutely NO ONE at your funeral to whistle. You will die alone, unloved, and in prison.

[craver67890]

@hancar no Lol

[l33tshinobialchemist]

@OsxinBraveheart thats what makes us so deadly in war. jokes can be very deadly you know.

[bowiewondergirl]

i lmaoed....

[rhighse]

Humor Tip #41

Unexpected Ending

[OsxinBraveheart]

Also, trololol. The Brits helped us become the best comedians in the world. i mean, look at what we do with our fucking military. We're jokes! XD

[HMMurdock220]

It's like The Whitest Kids U Know but more British and less weed.

[OsxinBraveheart]

@HMMurdock220 And way older and better.

[MrAlfalfa3062]

56 people didn't get enough fresh fruits

[chesterngiamzhenghao]

Healthy fruitfight

[HomeWreckerA1]

Fruit in the ass

[voxje]

close your eyes and you hear an english hitler

[dalidowicz]

Septic Tank=Yank

[AlexPuricelli]

or use a vegetable like Brockie tomato or Brussels sprout

[MinaAlisa]

next I eat a banana hahahahah

[Monaqute]

what else it could than DEFENCE?

[Soilwar]

1:03 I hope John Cleese didn't go to the Cheese Shop before doing this. But then again, he wouldn't have gotten any. He probably just stabbed the owner with a banana.

[Erniethecatisawesom]

Try Durians!