I like the realness from both you and Scoop on this issue. I watched Scoop's response and all I could do was smile for you. The ride or die reminds me of my parents; married for 35yrs and we were poooorrrr but it seemed like my mom gave my dad something no other woman could give him..his crown(he felt rich)
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Your video is nice but I so hurt and lonely I really dont know much about relationships and really never been in a serious one and im 51 years old never married, never been engaged or had a real boyfriend. Nita help me
a mature video and this is something i think everybody should listen and internally didgest. Not all she says is right but definitely i love the part of asking questions about your partner .
I'm nearly 22 and tha last two guys i was with wanted to have kids and get married with me. even tho they were literaly a year younger than me. They assured me that they would be there for me and all that. But I know in my heart that marriage at my age is probably not going to turn out great. I believe in what you say because i want to experiance all i can before i settle down. I wish i could make my current boyfriend understand that. It's not that i don't care for him it's just we are too yung
I know its late to comment! I feel this way. One thing for sure God see's a person heart and as his children we should look for the beauty of a person from their heart, personality, and strengths and weaknesses.
I figured we are so far from perfection. Men have to learn how to love and care for a woman like his own body. The women need to know what qualities to look far. Ladies don't need drama just to know they in love. There is a love humans can experience that even angels wanted!
The same temptations men have women have too. It comes down to self control and a will to want to stay faithful to your partner. Outside of that, people cheat b/c they are selfish and self centered. All that matters to them is what they want, when they want it despite how it may affect someone else.
"... and he may be imperfect to everybody else, but he is SO perfect to me.." .Lovely. and i cant believe i'm this happy for someone i dont actually know :)
THIS LADY BAFFLES TOO MUCH THE GUYS WHO DO THIS JUST WANT TO GET LAID, THEIRS NOT CONSPIRACY OR MYSTERY; THE GUY WANTS TO GET LAID, HE WANTS BE SCREW WITH ALOT OF OTHER WOMEN, SOMETIMES STICKIN TO ONE GETS BORING. NOT ALL GUYS THINK LIKE THIS BUT THESE TYPES DO, AND BESIDES GIRLS DO THE SAME THING AS WELL,
thank you i am going to divorce and my husband cheated on me and its' first time and i am more mad at her and still mad at him and i don't know what too do?
thank you i am going to divorce and my husband cheated on me and its' first time and i am more mad at her and still mad at him and i don't know what too do
But, I just wanted to tell u that this helped me a lot!
I recently I found out that my BF (of 5 years) was cheating on me. Not the first time he did it. But everything That u said about women feeling like its OUR fault they cheated really got to me. When I first found out i did blame myself, but then I started thinking about it & I realized it wasnt me, IT WAS HIM! He was the stupid one because I was with him through thick and thin.
because we're human. and there will always be someone else you like or "love" even more than who ur with. and I agree with PirateKing1256, dont get married, at least not when ur in your 20's like a lot of idiots do out of high school. cuz there's always someone you'll think is better
Men cheat because they can. A man is going to cheat if its in his heart (or his drawers) to cheat. If you choose to stay with that man just know that he's going to cheat on you again. Women if you think your man is cheating then he probably is. Do you, and don't feel ashamed of it. Start making his nasty as wear a condom. ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM with new d!ck.
Shanda I couldn't have said it better!! WOW....but I also believe sometimes their ego plays a big part in cheating, I guess that can tie into what you said about knowing they can get away with it. If you know your giving your all as a woman then that's all you can do and at the end of the day love yourself and don't justify his infidelity by taking the blame. Love you so much...you're doing your thing!!!!!!!
The thing is people cheat for a few simple reasons. #1. Sexual tension, or not getting enough sex or variation in their relationship. Men's brains are wired differently than women's. #2. For the rush. #3. It's easy for a guy to stop looking for sex with other women, but if an opportunity dropped into his lap, it's harder to turn it down. It's a fact that men think about sex every 7 or so seconds. Therefore, obviously are more prone to have sex with someone else...... if the opportunity is given.
Of course everyone is not gonna wait to marry for sex as i did not but I don't believe I need to have been with numerous men to have a good marriage...I think that's sending the wrong message ESPECIALLY in this day and time. We have to have some values and I don't value fu%$#&* many men so that I can say I been around the block and am ready for marriage. But, we all come from different lifestyles and experiences so I'll respect your opinion. Great video...very thought provoking.
I luv ya Shonda but are u saying that to get married one should have many sexual experiences. I'm not gonna jump on the moral bandwagon but that is ridiculous to say because many women hold themselves to a standard and don't want to sleep around and have one night stands and cut-buddies to feel like they have "experienced life".
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.......i totally agree with you...i just came across this video and iam going to FAVORITE this and i wish there was a way you could be sure everyone AND their mama views this vlog!!!...thanks for putting this message out there
Here's a question for you..it may sound immature but would it be a bad idea to act like I'm going to cheat on my b/f to stop him from cheating on me? Last night he and I had a long discussion and he admitted he feels like he wants to cheat on me with one of his co-workers yet, he says he wants to still be with me. I already told him if he cheats I'm not giving him a second chance because only God knows what I've been through with him.
Well Im gonna say that everything that she said was very accurate. I've been married before as well as i have cheated on girlfriends and two of the main reason was that I was bored and that I just wanted to try something different. & like she said alot of the times its not because there is something wrong with the woman that we have and the other woman that we cheat with may not look as good as what we currently have but sometimes we just like the excitement of doing it and not getting caught.
This may be a late comment. I like the advice you give about cheating but what about the women who choose to stay a virgin until marriage? So should give myself up to a man just so he can try me out and possibly not stay with me in the end?
@Deater90 Yes, I do know that. But I also know that sex is a person's personal choice. This is just my opinion and I do not want to offend anyone. I am sorry if you were.
and some men just are as faithful as women. It's not gender it's up to the person, sometimes upbringing or weak flesh. Lots of reasons that to try to explain them can't really be done. Love ya man and wife!
i haven't met a guy, including my father, who has enough self esteem. when you have lil' selfesteem, it's all to easy to stray. i've been married for almost 11 years and i have to say, it seems i'm more in tuned and more sure of myself than my husband is of himself. i'm not good at boosting a grown man's ego, afterall, i'm suppose to be the weaker sex. right? for the most part, you are correct BUT things seem to be out of tuned and roles seemed to get flipped. it can be chaotic.
There are always reasons/excuses people can come up with for why they do what they do...the problem is society finds cheating (in general) unacceptable. So, in the end, it is up to the mate to decide if he/she can continue the relationship in light of infideltiy.
@fannysmack maybe a lil but hell she say we have to many issues to have sex. WTF is that? I got needs and I take care of her other needs besides she told me to have sex with somebody cuz she tired of hearing about it so oh well.
Its in our genetic makeup to spread our seed. Mankind was not designed for monogamy. In fact what we practice is considered SERIAL monogamy. One at a time. Its basically polygamy but less efficient and more time consuming. Monogamy is instilled mostly by religion and culture. Monogamy goes against our genes and very fiber of our genetic makeup. So in answering the question why men cheat? Its because our social standards go exactly against our genetic predisposition to strengthen mankind.
I agree with your point about the innate desire to increase genetic variabilty in offspring which increases chances of survival, but, to a certain degree. I also think it boils down to the indiviual...some men cheat not for natures sake but just for the thrill involved. Others are happy with the 1-at-a-time thing.
That is true, but women cheat too. But in the end it just comes down to your own personal standards. What you hold yourself accountable for and what you hold your spouse accountable for.
This Is Fatman Scoop. Im in Ireland. Just Got Off Stage. Soon as i return tomorrow, im gonna put the lights up in the bedroom and Im gonna end this discussion once and for all. Im gonna break it down for the HarBrw's of the world about why men cheat, and why men DONT cheat.
Shonda, Shonda, Shonda, go back and watch the first 1.25 of this video. Please listen to what you are saying about you guys communication and previous relationships. The samething you are saying I have heard women say beore. Why is it that alot of women think that they have such a unique and spirtual relationship with their husband and that it is unique to only them. This happens alot right before they find out he is being unfaithful. But even if he does why break up if everythingelse is great.
Good video Shanda! Men do cheat for different reasons. But all excuses are just that! EXCUSES! Men who cheat are just weak and deserve to be alone. Think with your brain and not your penis. If you're struggling sexually or emotionally talk to your spouse about it. It's called Communication! If yall can't resolve it, split up and you can have all the women, diseases and babies you want as a single man. Then you won't be hurting anyone but yourself.
So, in other words... let him be with you and you be with him & make the most of what it is that you find in one another that makes it seem to just feel right. In the event the feeling(s) that you once had for one another should subside. It does't matter who is at fault. In fact, there is no fault to find if you do the right. Be honest, be mature, be realistic in your decision to 4give&4get (its not ammo, U no) or just move on. No harm-no foul.
You go diva! I truly admire and respect what you bring to YT; most certainly wise beyond your years! ;-) You should have a Ph.D in Men-ology... :-) I tell my gf all the time in terms of a man who cheats a man whether u nag or brag..You nag onhim, it's ur fault if he cheats. You brag on him, it's your fault he did the dirty bird w/ your used to be bff! lol
this is the best y do men cheat opinion i have ever heard hands down thanx shanda for makin this i think every woman should watch this and get advice from you!!!!
I'm gonna comment before I watch this.I don't know why men cheat,but if I were to do it I'd say there's an aspect of sexuality missing and I want it...now! I got a lot of respect for my penis so I don't go "dippin" like most of my co-workers.They'll fuck a hole in a doughnut! Right now I probably could,but out of respect for my wife and even though I think we're finished,I'd like to be sure all systems are go(meaning I'm no longer married.)Now I'm gonna watch Shanda.
Shanda, please do a blog on women and how they let their girlfriends ruin their relationship and the women they are talking to are going throw more stuff then them. Please!!
OHHHH MISS SHANDA U HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD...MATURITY...Tiger never really had the growing up period or dealing with women personally and sexually...He has been a celb since he was 5yrs old...he metl Elin and in a year or so BOOM they got married...
You said it right cheating is individual everybody don't cheat for the same reason you even have guys that cheat for emotional reasons . You have woman that think only a woman would cheat for emotional reasons so they neglect their man's emotional needs.
Very intelligent analysis. I think your best point was, There will always be something better than what you have. But, That doesn't give you the right to cheat.
There will always be a nigga with a bigger dick, taller, and better looking with more money than me. But, If my girl ever cheats on me, I'm killing both of those motherfuckers. Cheating is the most disrespectful shit you could do to your partner.
You're right, Shanda; there is not just one reason. Also, don't forget depression because many times men are somehow trying to save their lives in their own minds.
Shanda, you are so wise and have given me a lot to think about. I wanted to ask if you think that cheating when your young is acceptable, to a point. Also i wanted to ask you what you think of open relationships? I had a friend who was in an open relationship and would mainly be with one person but would have tangents with others. Do you think that this is a type of cheating? Also I had a video request, you should do a "This I Believe..." video about what YOU believe. Thank you!!!
Interesting viewpoints, and very true. I met a guy that came thru where I work, and we had a chat about Tiger's dalliances and the fallout from them. I asked him why HE though men cheat. Now this was a white guy, and he told me point blank, "It's not about what a man has, it's about what he DOESN'T have......new p----y.. It's the smell of the prey."
i think if a person sets it in his/her mind not to cheat, they wont. I had two bf's cheat on me, but I chose not to cheat. It wasn't worth it.
shanda u hit the nail on the head...i think another reason why men cheat is because of their ego....their ego makes them cheat because when a man thinks he is mister handsome and beautiful hes going to go out and find a girlfriend but in the meantime hes having his cake and eatting it too because there is a need for him to cheat and he wants to cheat because its a part of his ego....i believe the whole tiger woods thing wasnt called for i just think it was just a private matter.
I agree with Shanda that I think part of it is a maturity thing with men and cheating. Anyone can cheat but if you're mature and secure in yourself, I don't think you would have a desire for it. It's like how many insecure people always need attention and people telling them they're special to feel liek they're special. Some men need lots of women to make them feel like a man. This is just me but I think many people who cheat let their insecurities get the best of them.
OMG you actually get it lol. Us men do get to a point where we want to settle down. I've been saying that about the 20's thing. You are just starting to live so why should you halt that experience? Tiger is at the peek of his career and the women are coming in left and right. Bad time to get tied down! lol. between jay z and beyonce, we all know beyonce is more likely to cheat. cause she is still living life, young and attractive. jay has been there & done that. he is ready to hang it up now.
i really like this video . i can agree with you on this . but honestly, it's one of those things that if you think about it too much, you'll get frustrated with it . because there are soo many possible reasons of why, and you can never find just one reason . and you can never solve this , it's just based on trust and faithfulness which some people lack greatly .
Shanda, I appreciate you ..you're like a big sis and you've help me understand certain things about men and relationships. I was a love hem and leave type girl because I felt like if a man was not totally into me I was OUT. I am very impatient and at times I didnt want wait on a man to grow up I wanted him already Grown Man Status. And, just like men get bored so do women, and why if we cheat they won't forgive us like we will forgive them.
i must say that i agree with you whole heartedly Shanda--men come to a stage in their life when they have had enough!! i think marrying in early stage of your life is not for everyone- especially when you have not had a lot of experiences i believ e that is so true!! im in my 20s and i know that there is no way i am ready for marriage-there are a lot of things i need to find out about myself-things i need to try-i think when u settle down too early you still go through these stages
then you evolve into a whole new person that may or may NOT be able to be compatible--you grow away from your mate-or even these long term reltionships from high school!you have to let a man grow same for women Shanda you are so on point i applaud u
I have been cheated on recently with my long term boyfriend i was so hurt, and i dont know how someone could do that too someone they SAY they love so much ? It confusses me. Love Shanda says keep the great videos commming hunny :) xxx
It's fun..plain and simple..new pussy is exciting, different pussy is fun, who is going to fuck the same piece of pussy for the rest of their lives....i don't even like the word cheat/cheating. it is to harsh of a word....its just sex...thats allll..and all men cheat
Shanda your completely wrong, men and women both cheat for emotional reasons and physical reasons. Women seem to believe that men dont need emotional reassurance like they do, but really they do.
1) he'd have to be a complete idiot to give up you for another woman.
2)I doubt he's a complete idiot and I doubt he could find anyone better than you.
3) When Fatman is walking down the street and he sees a fly girl, he just remembers that his house is just around the corner...and in that house are those bigger titties and that bigger ass.
insecurity and all of the other ("in-") stem from being immature. People need growth in their life before they can deal with another person. Many other people cheat because they try to find what they lack in another person.
I agree with EVEryThING you said and appreciate your honesty. One thing I'd like to add is the fact that there are soo many women out there who are willing to cheat with the man. Therefore they cheat because they CAN.
I agree with EVEryThING you said and appreciate your honesty. One thing I'd like to add is the fact that there are soo many women out there who are willing to cheat with the man. Therefore they cheat because they CAN.
Honestly, alot of men cheat out of either Boredom in the bedroom, or the fact that sometimes their wives physical appearence! Not saying he's not attractive to her, (Sometimes maybe) but because you miss or crave the feeling of that Kim Kardashian type bodied women from around the block that gives you the eye and flirts with you! Honestly it's very hard to reject Halle Berry with for Macy Grey, eventhough you love Macy dearly! Sometimes love can't conquer their lust and curiosity!
everything you said is well said but something i find interesting when men cheat sometimes the main squeeze is prettier and better looking than the mistress... i agree with you 100% with everything you say especially about marriage. red flags are hard because you sometimes dont know if your just trying to sabotage the relationship or that your being too critical about the way things are going.
i agree there somany reasons why people cheat, .. for me it was because emotionaly i felt alone my partner just disapard for months without any word from her.... when she came back from where ever she was i told her what i did.. i was not proud of what i did i broke my owm morals that day.. my partner forgave me but i have not forgiven my self and probably wont beable to...
its pretty simple,,men cheat cuz were horny 24/7.meanwhile women who are already willing to cheat to begin with are just waiting for that excuse,,that chance to be unfaithful.wether its a discussion,or he didnt buy something she wanted or hasnt turned into a silent and obedient atm machine with a penis.
Dear Shanda, yes, I'm back!!! I love your blogs and yes I agree with you and you are all TRUTHFUL to what you are saying. I Remember in 1999 2000 year,. And I met this young lady. We started out too fast in my opinion, and too make a long story short, we broke up, and I was very hurt by it. She got pregnant by another guy, and dod not tell me what she was doing. Thats why I hate that song by Excape, "Your My Little Secret" But I have a new relationship now and its great!
I totally agree with why you said men & women cheat. I hadnt thought about the fact that Tiger may not have had a lot of experiences with women in the past. He may not have been allowed to do a lot of dating growing up & now that he has this elevated status, i'm sure he had loads of women throwing themselves at him. Still not an excuse to cheat, but understandable. PS - Your makeup is always so beautiful & natural looking. I really wish I could do my eye makeup that way w/out making a mess. lol.
i agree with you need trust to work but i hate the fact that girls always say i need a good man but when they get one they treat em like shit then they make the good man wanna treat girls the way they do but it go both ways i just think if u dont know what u want dont say it n im saying this because im a man and i went out wih this girl for 2 years and she cheated on me and that shit hurts so asking you should i give her another chance because i know we all make mistakes
we just because we REALLY DO WISH WE COULD FUCK EVERY GIRL IN THE WORLD, why do you think they made a song about that? because that's how we really feel...lol. it has nothing to do with you or what you're doing...you're right about the plain old boredom thing, that's it too....and the chase thing...you're good. sometimes i go to club to see how many numbers i can pull and don't even fuck the girls
good topic. i totally agree with you shanda. but to me, true love is hard to find. i really love the way you guys love each other. you are so lucky. how i wish i can find the love that you r embracing now. anyway, love you guys :) thanx for the brilliant advice.
I like the realness from both you and Scoop on this issue. I watched Scoop's response and all I could do was smile for you. The ride or die reminds me of my parents; married for 35yrs and we were poooorrrr but it seemed like my mom gave my dad something no other woman could give him..his crown(he felt rich)
teetash 1 month ago
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gottogetit38 3 months ago
Your video is nice but I so hurt and lonely I really dont know much about relationships and really never been in a serious one and im 51 years old never married, never been engaged or had a real boyfriend. Nita help me
MP7rounds 5 months ago
i couldn*t stop staring at that rock on your hand ! goregous !
xxbOOkiexbuttx 5 months ago
damn she is good I agree wit the first reason
Thesniperseth 6 months ago
SWAG! SWWWAAAAGGGGG SWAG!
Oh men who cheat are assholes who wan't more than they can have. But It's not a one sided thing. Some women are, frankly, just not good to their man.
rocka156 6 months ago
a mature video and this is something i think everybody should listen and internally didgest. Not all she says is right but definitely i love the part of asking questions about your partner .
TheDoniyan 7 months ago
I'm nearly 22 and tha last two guys i was with wanted to have kids and get married with me. even tho they were literaly a year younger than me. They assured me that they would be there for me and all that. But I know in my heart that marriage at my age is probably not going to turn out great. I believe in what you say because i want to experiance all i can before i settle down. I wish i could make my current boyfriend understand that. It's not that i don't care for him it's just we are too yung
KaydaAmaya 7 months ago
I know its late to comment! I feel this way. One thing for sure God see's a person heart and as his children we should look for the beauty of a person from their heart, personality, and strengths and weaknesses.
I figured we are so far from perfection. Men have to learn how to love and care for a woman like his own body. The women need to know what qualities to look far. Ladies don't need drama just to know they in love. There is a love humans can experience that even angels wanted!
hmp20 7 months ago
The same temptations men have women have too. It comes down to self control and a will to want to stay faithful to your partner. Outside of that, people cheat b/c they are selfish and self centered. All that matters to them is what they want, when they want it despite how it may affect someone else.
slimcola21 9 months ago
Would you stay with your man if he cheats? Do you think it is okay for a woman to cheat because her husband has done it ?
darabbi360 10 months ago
hey my name is shanda and i always thot i was the like ounly shanda in the world im shanda lee-ann
cfash 10 months ago
gay ass vid
WarrenKoolidge 10 months ago
"... and he may be imperfect to everybody else, but he is SO perfect to me.." .Lovely. and i cant believe i'm this happy for someone i dont actually know :)
AuChocolatNoir 11 months ago
I like this ! so what I've been talking about <3
mekanator1 11 months ago
I agree with you 100%
TinaBee88 11 months ago
i know that pussy phat with sum big ass lips.
younghot443 11 months ago
THIS LADY BAFFLES TOO MUCH THE GUYS WHO DO THIS JUST WANT TO GET LAID, THEIRS NOT CONSPIRACY OR MYSTERY; THE GUY WANTS TO GET LAID, HE WANTS BE SCREW WITH ALOT OF OTHER WOMEN, SOMETIMES STICKIN TO ONE GETS BORING. NOT ALL GUYS THINK LIKE THIS BUT THESE TYPES DO, AND BESIDES GIRLS DO THE SAME THING AS WELL,
Kemiztri 1 year ago
Shaunda is cyber cheating the same as physically cheating?!? Plz get back to me i need ur help...
nativeboxerchic 1 year ago
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thank you i am going to divorce and my husband cheated on me and its' first time and i am more mad at her and still mad at him and i don't know what too do?
Julianacarter7 1 year ago
thank you i am going to divorce and my husband cheated on me and its' first time and i am more mad at her and still mad at him and i don't know what too do
Julianacarter7 1 year ago
@Julianacarter7 I just made videos on what u do when u get cheated on to help people feel better my friend has video replies but ur not alone
mekanator1 11 months ago
woowww.... i totally! agree with u! its good to hear! ur so smart. u think the same way i do! i just wanna hang out with u now! hahahaa
blnddizzles 1 year ago
since when do only men cheat? obviously your ignorant and stupid... Both genders cheat. your a stereo type.
WillieOggero 1 year ago
since when do only men cheat? obviously your ignorant and stupid...
WillieOggero 1 year ago
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IdhkmMjdki 1 year ago
im a girl an i want to say your beautiful. no homo! just pointing out the truth!
RebornCleo 1 year ago
I know Im late watching with video.
But, I just wanted to tell u that this helped me a lot!
I recently I found out that my BF (of 5 years) was cheating on me. Not the first time he did it. But everything That u said about women feeling like its OUR fault they cheated really got to me. When I first found out i did blame myself, but then I started thinking about it & I realized it wasnt me, IT WAS HIM! He was the stupid one because I was with him through thick and thin.
Chocolatepuro01 1 year ago
everyone cheats.
men and women
because we're human. and there will always be someone else you like or "love" even more than who ur with. and I agree with PirateKing1256, dont get married, at least not when ur in your 20's like a lot of idiots do out of high school. cuz there's always someone you'll think is better
myf0lk 1 year ago
Subbed
FudgeandCheese 1 year ago
Men cheat because they can. A man is going to cheat if its in his heart (or his drawers) to cheat. If you choose to stay with that man just know that he's going to cheat on you again. Women if you think your man is cheating then he probably is. Do you, and don't feel ashamed of it. Start making his nasty as wear a condom. ALWAYS WEAR A CONDOM with new d!ck.
electrickeys 1 year ago
Just dont get married. Marriage is the stupidest thing ever.
PirateKing1256 1 year ago
Shanda I couldn't have said it better!! WOW....but I also believe sometimes their ego plays a big part in cheating, I guess that can tie into what you said about knowing they can get away with it. If you know your giving your all as a woman then that's all you can do and at the end of the day love yourself and don't justify his infidelity by taking the blame. Love you so much...you're doing your thing!!!!!!!
JENNIJUSTSING 1 year ago
The thing is people cheat for a few simple reasons. #1. Sexual tension, or not getting enough sex or variation in their relationship. Men's brains are wired differently than women's. #2. For the rush. #3. It's easy for a guy to stop looking for sex with other women, but if an opportunity dropped into his lap, it's harder to turn it down. It's a fact that men think about sex every 7 or so seconds. Therefore, obviously are more prone to have sex with someone else...... if the opportunity is given.
MezmerizedCA 1 year ago
Of course everyone is not gonna wait to marry for sex as i did not but I don't believe I need to have been with numerous men to have a good marriage...I think that's sending the wrong message ESPECIALLY in this day and time. We have to have some values and I don't value fu%$#&* many men so that I can say I been around the block and am ready for marriage. But, we all come from different lifestyles and experiences so I'll respect your opinion. Great video...very thought provoking.
Thickumz2002 1 year ago
I luv ya Shonda but are u saying that to get married one should have many sexual experiences. I'm not gonna jump on the moral bandwagon but that is ridiculous to say because many women hold themselves to a standard and don't want to sleep around and have one night stands and cut-buddies to feel like they have "experienced life".
Thickumz2002 1 year ago
You're a smart lady.
You give me hope with my relationship
ThisOneRocks 1 year ago
More couples and those in ready for that next step need to see this video. You both are blessed! Thanks for spittin' the truth ALWAYS!
aureliok 1 year ago
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.......i totally agree with you...i just came across this video and iam going to FAVORITE this and i wish there was a way you could be sure everyone AND their mama views this vlog!!!...thanks for putting this message out there
babieea 1 year ago
spot on!!!
voltron1973 1 year ago
Here's a question for you..it may sound immature but would it be a bad idea to act like I'm going to cheat on my b/f to stop him from cheating on me? Last night he and I had a long discussion and he admitted he feels like he wants to cheat on me with one of his co-workers yet, he says he wants to still be with me. I already told him if he cheats I'm not giving him a second chance because only God knows what I've been through with him.
imafan 2 years ago
Well Im gonna say that everything that she said was very accurate. I've been married before as well as i have cheated on girlfriends and two of the main reason was that I was bored and that I just wanted to try something different. & like she said alot of the times its not because there is something wrong with the woman that we have and the other woman that we cheat with may not look as good as what we currently have but sometimes we just like the excitement of doing it and not getting caught.
dariuserby112 2 years ago
This is so on point for me right now...THANK YOU!
diyo02 2 years ago
This may be a late comment. I like the advice you give about cheating but what about the women who choose to stay a virgin until marriage? So should give myself up to a man just so he can try me out and possibly not stay with me in the end?
jeskajuice 2 years ago 6
@jeskajuice im waiting until marriage!! and im proud =)
RebornCleo 1 year ago
@jeskajuice I would like to ask... dont you like sex? You can enjoy that without being married.
Deater90 1 year ago
@Deater90 Yes, I do know that. But I also know that sex is a person's personal choice. This is just my opinion and I do not want to offend anyone. I am sorry if you were.
jeskajuice 1 year ago
That was great Shanda. Droppin' much knowledge.
stlucia68 2 years ago
LOVE YOU SHANDA!!
youngbeauty8 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
i can just fuck you in the ass allnight
willielee2222 2 years ago
and some men just are as faithful as women. It's not gender it's up to the person, sometimes upbringing or weak flesh. Lots of reasons that to try to explain them can't really be done. Love ya man and wife!
Loveislight1 2 years ago
Shanda i love you
123president 2 years ago 2
i haven't met a guy, including my father, who has enough self esteem. when you have lil' selfesteem, it's all to easy to stray. i've been married for almost 11 years and i have to say, it seems i'm more in tuned and more sure of myself than my husband is of himself. i'm not good at boosting a grown man's ego, afterall, i'm suppose to be the weaker sex. right? for the most part, you are correct BUT things seem to be out of tuned and roles seemed to get flipped. it can be chaotic.
rumblegrill 2 years ago
Bravo and well said.
kandria79 2 years ago
I am so glad that i finally found someone with the same name as me...
just a diff pronunciation. (:
ShanesSpace 2 years ago
There are always reasons/excuses people can come up with for why they do what they do...the problem is society finds cheating (in general) unacceptable. So, in the end, it is up to the mate to decide if he/she can continue the relationship in light of infideltiy.
amatron201 2 years ago
PS -- Shanda, I love what you have to say, it is thoughtful, insightful and honest.
amatron201 2 years ago
naw its cool u didn't offend me at all its just the internet. but umm thanks
Htownluver69 2 years ago
@fannysmack maybe a lil but hell she say we have to many issues to have sex. WTF is that? I got needs and I take care of her other needs besides she told me to have sex with somebody cuz she tired of hearing about it so oh well.
Htownluver69 2 years ago
@Htownluver69 I guess...I'm sure there are lots of issues at play. Sorry if I jumped at you, I'm hot tempered lol. Good luck.
fannysmack 2 years ago
This comment has received too many negative votes show
I cheat when she dont give up that ass so is it really cheating if she ain't doing it?
Htownluver69 2 years ago
Comment removed
fannysmack 2 years ago
I think men cheat because they can.
Unfortunately once they do, some continue and end up being so selfish as to not think about the consequences aka giving their mate an STD.
So sad.
I like what you had to say in this video, keep up the good work :)
hourglas39 2 years ago 2
I wouldn't cheat......unless i know i could get away with it...
pinkeyedtennisshoes 2 years ago
Its in our genetic makeup to spread our seed. Mankind was not designed for monogamy. In fact what we practice is considered SERIAL monogamy. One at a time. Its basically polygamy but less efficient and more time consuming. Monogamy is instilled mostly by religion and culture. Monogamy goes against our genes and very fiber of our genetic makeup. So in answering the question why men cheat? Its because our social standards go exactly against our genetic predisposition to strengthen mankind.
pvd021 2 years ago
I agree with your point about the innate desire to increase genetic variabilty in offspring which increases chances of survival, but, to a certain degree. I also think it boils down to the indiviual...some men cheat not for natures sake but just for the thrill involved. Others are happy with the 1-at-a-time thing.
amatron201 2 years ago
That is true, but women cheat too. But in the end it just comes down to your own personal standards. What you hold yourself accountable for and what you hold your spouse accountable for.
pvd021 2 years ago
This Is Fatman Scoop. Im in Ireland. Just Got Off Stage. Soon as i return tomorrow, im gonna put the lights up in the bedroom and Im gonna end this discussion once and for all. Im gonna break it down for the HarBrw's of the world about why men cheat, and why men DONT cheat.
It will be worth viewing....Stay tuned!!!!!!
WorldWideWitScoop 2 years ago 7
Comment removed
WorldWideWitScoop 2 years ago
Shonda, Shonda, Shonda, go back and watch the first 1.25 of this video. Please listen to what you are saying about you guys communication and previous relationships. The samething you are saying I have heard women say beore. Why is it that alot of women think that they have such a unique and spirtual relationship with their husband and that it is unique to only them. This happens alot right before they find out he is being unfaithful. But even if he does why break up if everythingelse is great.
HarBrw 2 years ago
Good video Shanda! Men do cheat for different reasons. But all excuses are just that! EXCUSES! Men who cheat are just weak and deserve to be alone. Think with your brain and not your penis. If you're struggling sexually or emotionally talk to your spouse about it. It's called Communication! If yall can't resolve it, split up and you can have all the women, diseases and babies you want as a single man. Then you won't be hurting anyone but yourself.
ericadenise80 2 years ago
wow you are beautiful physically and intellectually
Stube509 2 years ago 2
So, in other words... let him be with you and you be with him & make the most of what it is that you find in one another that makes it seem to just feel right. In the event the feeling(s) that you once had for one another should subside. It does't matter who is at fault. In fact, there is no fault to find if you do the right. Be honest, be mature, be realistic in your decision to 4give&4get (its not ammo, U no) or just move on. No harm-no foul.
msperry35 2 years ago
You go diva! I truly admire and respect what you bring to YT; most certainly wise beyond your years! ;-) You should have a Ph.D in Men-ology... :-) I tell my gf all the time in terms of a man who cheats a man whether u nag or brag..You nag onhim, it's ur fault if he cheats. You brag on him, it's your fault he did the dirty bird w/ your used to be bff! lol
msperry35 2 years ago
this is the best y do men cheat opinion i have ever heard hands down thanx shanda for makin this i think every woman should watch this and get advice from you!!!!
tharealmrnut 2 years ago
god she is so fucking sexy
tharealmrnut 2 years ago 2
I'm gonna comment before I watch this.I don't know why men cheat,but if I were to do it I'd say there's an aspect of sexuality missing and I want it...now! I got a lot of respect for my penis so I don't go "dippin" like most of my co-workers.They'll fuck a hole in a doughnut! Right now I probably could,but out of respect for my wife and even though I think we're finished,I'd like to be sure all systems are go(meaning I'm no longer married.)Now I'm gonna watch Shanda.
dolphinbuc 2 years ago
Shanda, please do a blog on women and how they let their girlfriends ruin their relationship and the women they are talking to are going throw more stuff then them. Please!!
kaykay8615 2 years ago
OHHHH MISS SHANDA U HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD...MATURITY...Tiger never really had the growing up period or dealing with women personally and sexually...He has been a celb since he was 5yrs old...he metl Elin and in a year or so BOOM they got married...
BUNNOBB 2 years ago
Great video, going to save this for some of my cheating friends. Thanks u r awesome
yesinia 2 years ago
men cheat for the same reasons women cheat...a better question would be why do PEOPLE cheat
jasonbillie 2 years ago
@jasonbillie yea great question cause women cheat 2
bean448 2 years ago
Men are designed to reproduce and have endless amount of sperm so that explains why men get so
horny.
And men like to conquer different pussy.
NCDuke 2 years ago
You said it right cheating is individual everybody don't cheat for the same reason you even have guys that cheat for emotional reasons . You have woman that think only a woman would cheat for emotional reasons so they neglect their man's emotional needs.
blacktigerwu 2 years ago
You're Sexy!
; )
Very intelligent analysis. I think your best point was, There will always be something better than what you have. But, That doesn't give you the right to cheat.
There will always be a nigga with a bigger dick, taller, and better looking with more money than me. But, If my girl ever cheats on me, I'm killing both of those motherfuckers. Cheating is the most disrespectful shit you could do to your partner.
ThePresidentIsBlack 2 years ago 2
you dont deserve to be with no girl if you think killing is the right choice.
if she cheats, move the fuck on
find someone else
there plenty of chicks around the world
0Moreno0 2 years ago 3
@ThePresidentIsBlack cool i'll do dat 2 lol
bean448 2 years ago
i can agree to that but idk about killing them tho
msladyp89 2 years ago
You are right on point Shanda all around. I'm impressed because so often women are so clueless when it comes to men perspectives.
Geezyone 2 years ago
i think tiger cheated coz his wife was probably being a bitch.. I mean she wasnt fat, ugly... so probably being mean to him at home.
DudeWarezMyKeyboard 2 years ago
awesome vlog. you hit home with A LOT in this one!
chokolytedelite 2 years ago
You're right, Shanda; there is not just one reason. Also, don't forget depression because many times men are somehow trying to save their lives in their own minds.
meloscot18 2 years ago
I think they cheat cause some men wanna put they thing thing in every woman & that's NASTY !!!!
petitesexylady28 2 years ago 2
Shanda, you are so wise and have given me a lot to think about. I wanted to ask if you think that cheating when your young is acceptable, to a point. Also i wanted to ask you what you think of open relationships? I had a friend who was in an open relationship and would mainly be with one person but would have tangents with others. Do you think that this is a type of cheating? Also I had a video request, you should do a "This I Believe..." video about what YOU believe. Thank you!!!
Castalis011 2 years ago
men are hunters and women are gatherers......
aarmington 2 years ago
Interesting viewpoints, and very true. I met a guy that came thru where I work, and we had a chat about Tiger's dalliances and the fallout from them. I asked him why HE though men cheat. Now this was a white guy, and he told me point blank, "It's not about what a man has, it's about what he DOESN'T have......new p----y.. It's the smell of the prey."
i think if a person sets it in his/her mind not to cheat, they wont. I had two bf's cheat on me, but I chose not to cheat. It wasn't worth it.
hotdrumchick 2 years ago
shanda u hit the nail on the head...i think another reason why men cheat is because of their ego....their ego makes them cheat because when a man thinks he is mister handsome and beautiful hes going to go out and find a girlfriend but in the meantime hes having his cake and eatting it too because there is a need for him to cheat and he wants to cheat because its a part of his ego....i believe the whole tiger woods thing wasnt called for i just think it was just a private matter.
Bxcutie718 2 years ago
cuz it's in there nature to do so they just can't help it
Peachis911 2 years ago
Shanda, you are the best. I love you so much.
lilegyptian83 2 years ago
omg, i love these videos...real wisdom
00Pablo01 2 years ago
First you are beautiful Shanda!! But you said it all right...all what u said is true....thanks for keeping it real!
Ateyaaa 2 years ago
I agree with Shanda that I think part of it is a maturity thing with men and cheating. Anyone can cheat but if you're mature and secure in yourself, I don't think you would have a desire for it. It's like how many insecure people always need attention and people telling them they're special to feel liek they're special. Some men need lots of women to make them feel like a man. This is just me but I think many people who cheat let their insecurities get the best of them.
vivacious1083 2 years ago
i agree, definately insecurity is involved.
00Pablo01 2 years ago
OMG you actually get it lol. Us men do get to a point where we want to settle down. I've been saying that about the 20's thing. You are just starting to live so why should you halt that experience? Tiger is at the peek of his career and the women are coming in left and right. Bad time to get tied down! lol. between jay z and beyonce, we all know beyonce is more likely to cheat. cause she is still living life, young and attractive. jay has been there & done that. he is ready to hang it up now.
THIZZAVELI 2 years ago
i really like this video . i can agree with you on this . but honestly, it's one of those things that if you think about it too much, you'll get frustrated with it . because there are soo many possible reasons of why, and you can never find just one reason . and you can never solve this , it's just based on trust and faithfulness which some people lack greatly .
DiorQTCee 2 years ago
Shanda, I appreciate you ..you're like a big sis and you've help me understand certain things about men and relationships. I was a love hem and leave type girl because I felt like if a man was not totally into me I was OUT. I am very impatient and at times I didnt want wait on a man to grow up I wanted him already Grown Man Status. And, just like men get bored so do women, and why if we cheat they won't forgive us like we will forgive them.
hottvirgo75 2 years ago 3
you hit the nail on the head; i wanna see the bitch for sure, cause for some reason they seem to downgrade when cheating lol
lyricbrodie 2 years ago 2
@lyricbrodie LOL I totally agree they be some DUCKS, RATS and I'm like WOW don't never ever touch me again. ..like DUDE are you serious!
hottvirgo75 2 years ago
yup, i be like where did that swamp donkey come from.
lyricbrodie 2 years ago
I am always Frank and Earnest with women.
In NJ I am Frank and in NY I am Earnest.
luvbig41 2 years ago
hahaha
tinasuckss 2 years ago
Looks like tears are welling up in her eyes.
Men cheat because:
1. They get tired of the same ole pussy
2. Women are easily available
3. Men are visual if a woman's looks fade and another good looking woman is giving him play....he's going to take it.
4. If a man is a good lover....he wants to share it with other women.
Now do one on why women cheat.
luvbig41 2 years ago
i must say that i agree with you whole heartedly Shanda--men come to a stage in their life when they have had enough!! i think marrying in early stage of your life is not for everyone- especially when you have not had a lot of experiences i believ e that is so true!! im in my 20s and i know that there is no way i am ready for marriage-there are a lot of things i need to find out about myself-things i need to try-i think when u settle down too early you still go through these stages
Free6969 2 years ago
then you evolve into a whole new person that may or may NOT be able to be compatible--you grow away from your mate-or even these long term reltionships from high school!you have to let a man grow same for women Shanda you are so on point i applaud u
Free6969 2 years ago
change the battery in that damn FIRE ALARM! LOL
DaLoRdTrAg 2 years ago
Shanda, what is a "real" friend?
Oxstayne 2 years ago
Fellas Do What I Do No Wife, No Real Gilfrfiend On Till 28 & Older....
I Have My Friday Girl & My Sunday Girl MY 2 Days Off From Work!
SuperWrestlingWorld 2 years ago
if someone cheated on me, ill cheat on him wit friend:]
iloveyou5256 2 years ago
LOL men cheat because WOMEN MAKE US!
DaLoRdTrAg 2 years ago
I love what you talked about . so true, so honest. agree with you completely.
athenav0972 2 years ago
I have been cheated on recently with my long term boyfriend i was so hurt, and i dont know how someone could do that too someone they SAY they love so much ? It confusses me. Love Shanda says keep the great videos commming hunny :) xxx
Apezy321 2 years ago
I usually don't comment however I have to say; Great vlog Shanda!
290aua 2 years ago
Men cheat cause they CAN!
robertantonnyc 2 years ago
what would you say about a woman that is willing to stay married to a cheating man. Even if it's only emotional cheating..
maria39208 2 years ago
It's fun..plain and simple..new pussy is exciting, different pussy is fun, who is going to fuck the same piece of pussy for the rest of their lives....i don't even like the word cheat/cheating. it is to harsh of a word....its just sex...thats allll..and all men cheat
elmosmidlap 2 years ago 2
ALOT of "men" cheat cause they DON'T know what they have at home..
maria39208 2 years ago
lol
HipHopJun 2 years ago
i can appreciate you honesty here ms. Shonda, thanks for sharing
jody808 2 years ago
Shanda your completely wrong, men and women both cheat for emotional reasons and physical reasons. Women seem to believe that men dont need emotional reassurance like they do, but really they do.
b0omshakab0om 2 years ago 4
men cheat because they dont kno what they want in a woman
mzdizzy92 2 years ago 3
Great vlog, Shonda!!!
And yes, definitely tell us your story as well.
Thank you for your honesty!!!!
harlemw651 2 years ago
I would never cheat on my girl but she cheated on me 3 times and still doing it I ended it with her 2 weeks ago and now im enlisted in the airforce
JmasterJr 2 years ago
I doubt Fatman Scoop would ever cheat on you...
1) he'd have to be a complete idiot to give up you for another woman.
2)I doubt he's a complete idiot and I doubt he could find anyone better than you.
3) When Fatman is walking down the street and he sees a fly girl, he just remembers that his house is just around the corner...and in that house are those bigger titties and that bigger ass.
vintage1351 2 years ago 5
insecurity and all of the other ("in-") stem from being immature. People need growth in their life before they can deal with another person. Many other people cheat because they try to find what they lack in another person.
You look beautiful.
mhorn011 2 years ago
I respect the shit out of your husband.
Hate to make it sound simple. But at the end of the day, men just love sex.
Individual reasons such as not being supportive to catering to his particular sexual preferences can alter the details of each man but still...
Men really love sex. We never really cheat of vindictiveness.
I personally think cheating out of emotion is seldom with us. I could be wrong.
Did I make any sense? LOL
Oh well.
waterjacakaKSTONE 2 years ago
Me and them damn typos. I meant "cheat out of vindictiveness.
waterjacakaKSTONE 2 years ago
What does "too honest" means?
waterjacakaKSTONE 2 years ago
This has been flagged as spam show
I agree with EVEryThING you said and appreciate your honesty. One thing I'd like to add is the fact that there are soo many women out there who are willing to cheat with the man. Therefore they cheat because they CAN.
ivakeasia 2 years ago
I agree with EVEryThING you said and appreciate your honesty. One thing I'd like to add is the fact that there are soo many women out there who are willing to cheat with the man. Therefore they cheat because they CAN.
ivakeasia 2 years ago 3
BULLSEYE SHANDA!!!
pursia4 2 years ago
Honestly, alot of men cheat out of either Boredom in the bedroom, or the fact that sometimes their wives physical appearence! Not saying he's not attractive to her, (Sometimes maybe) but because you miss or crave the feeling of that Kim Kardashian type bodied women from around the block that gives you the eye and flirts with you! Honestly it's very hard to reject Halle Berry with for Macy Grey, eventhough you love Macy dearly! Sometimes love can't conquer their lust and curiosity!
supersayin1 2 years ago
everything you said is well said but something i find interesting when men cheat sometimes the main squeeze is prettier and better looking than the mistress... i agree with you 100% with everything you say especially about marriage. red flags are hard because you sometimes dont know if your just trying to sabotage the relationship or that your being too critical about the way things are going.
solidice242 2 years ago
i agree there somany reasons why people cheat, .. for me it was because emotionaly i felt alone my partner just disapard for months without any word from her.... when she came back from where ever she was i told her what i did.. i was not proud of what i did i broke my owm morals that day.. my partner forgave me but i have not forgiven my self and probably wont beable to...
sakura20007 2 years ago
its pretty simple,,men cheat cuz were horny 24/7.meanwhile women who are already willing to cheat to begin with are just waiting for that excuse,,that chance to be unfaithful.wether its a discussion,or he didnt buy something she wanted or hasnt turned into a silent and obedient atm machine with a penis.
akguzman 2 years ago
Dear Shanda, yes, I'm back!!! I love your blogs and yes I agree with you and you are all TRUTHFUL to what you are saying. I Remember in 1999 2000 year,. And I met this young lady. We started out too fast in my opinion, and too make a long story short, we broke up, and I was very hurt by it. She got pregnant by another guy, and dod not tell me what she was doing. Thats why I hate that song by Excape, "Your My Little Secret" But I have a new relationship now and its great!
charliestube1 2 years ago
I totally agree with why you said men & women cheat. I hadnt thought about the fact that Tiger may not have had a lot of experiences with women in the past. He may not have been allowed to do a lot of dating growing up & now that he has this elevated status, i'm sure he had loads of women throwing themselves at him. Still not an excuse to cheat, but understandable. PS - Your makeup is always so beautiful & natural looking. I really wish I could do my eye makeup that way w/out making a mess. lol.
Only1Meya 2 years ago
i agree with you need trust to work but i hate the fact that girls always say i need a good man but when they get one they treat em like shit then they make the good man wanna treat girls the way they do but it go both ways i just think if u dont know what u want dont say it n im saying this because im a man and i went out wih this girl for 2 years and she cheated on me and that shit hurts so asking you should i give her another chance because i know we all make mistakes
HUNNIDIP2009 2 years ago
my god you're speakin that TRUTH right here....everything you're saying is TRUE...lol
NikThaQuik 2 years ago
ditto
jonesstm85 2 years ago
we just because we REALLY DO WISH WE COULD FUCK EVERY GIRL IN THE WORLD, why do you think they made a song about that? because that's how we really feel...lol. it has nothing to do with you or what you're doing...you're right about the plain old boredom thing, that's it too....and the chase thing...you're good. sometimes i go to club to see how many numbers i can pull and don't even fuck the girls
NikThaQuik 2 years ago
good topic. i totally agree with you shanda. but to me, true love is hard to find. i really love the way you guys love each other. you are so lucky. how i wish i can find the love that you r embracing now. anyway, love you guys :) thanx for the brilliant advice.
WhiteDove81 2 years ago
women cheat too
nubiennesblog 2 years ago
second
Niallsims666 2 years ago
1st post
2nd view :D
CrazYrabbit11 2 years ago