Pyrion Flax's Guide to Playing Eve Online

[i45on]

You are a true connoisseur my friend. Funny stuff.

[cbale2000]

This pretty much sums up my last 2 years of playing this game.

[AflacMan13]

WOW.

F***ing up the Sci-Fi world since it's inception by producing these whiny little cry baby rage quitters.

Go back to your shard server. Pick up your +2 sword of wasted time...

And shut up. Immaturity is the bain of our society already. Thank you for making an ass of yourself on the internet so I can laught AT YOU, there hero.

[tedhimself]

@AflacMan13 it's a joke you fucking idiot.

[Naibasaki]

Perfectly accurate depiction of the first 3 weeks of eve online for the majority of it's player base. (those who quit AND stay)

[lugnut1000000]

That was fuckin awesome... OMG YEAH! :D

[Robbeybobbey]

I must admid this is a very funny clip. I play EvE and I know what you're talking about.

The thing is that you're only showing the negative side.

To me your clip sounds like it's made by somebody who started the game, thought he got a lot of experience with "that kind of games", then gets surprised by how EvE is very different from and harder than many other online games and finally starts flaming the game for childish reasons.

Face it, EvE is for space game lovers, not for superficial gamers

[jlmdfnbo]

I can actually say from personal experience that this video is absolutely realistic. You will end up quitting Eve, no matter what.

[AflacMan13]

@jlmdfnbo been playing for over a year now. It takes a mature person with some patience to play a game that is more complex than...

push button a.

push button b.

oh look I did a combo.

WOW whiners always pout when they get their butts kicked in an actually good game.

[jlmdfnbo]

@AflacMan13 Actually, in EVE, you don't need anything else than "button A", which is CTRL for locking up people. Other than the constant paranoid raping of the d. scan and the anxious scrolling of local, there's nothing "complex" in EVE. The game sucks, and only rewards assholes. Besides, a guy who types as shitty English as you wouldn't last 2 minutes in EVE, so I suggest you crawl back to your cave, troll. P.S: I haven't played WoW since 2009.

[BootlessDave]

Update the graphics, and yeah that's eve online a nutshell. Oh cool, 2 years till my Titan... I'll just go finish my bachelors degree in the meantime.

[Nazirre99]

i love this video i laugh every time i see it. and yes i still play eve on occasion

[cookiehead2]

Yup I'd have to agree, that's how it was for me, lol

[busterguygaming]

Lol I play eve and it's a good game.. Just this guy is a troll...

[dwavenminer]

lol, so true....All I will say though is thats it's better than the other mmo's out there...

[PR0L0X]

How about making some research before you buy a game?

judging from your other videos it's clear you don't have a brain capacity to play EvE online, so why did you buy it?

[tedhimself]

@PR0L0X how about shuttin the fuck up, my good man

[PR0L0X]

@tedhimself very creative response my good man!....

if your afraid of criticism you should have made this video private.

[tedhimself]

@PR0L0X I don't mind it, I just think your criticism is idioitic. maybe you don't know what irony is?

[bobzone09]

@PR0L0X While probably true, this video is still fucking hilarious.

[TheJamHoarder]

@PR0L0X Think, just think real real long and hard on this video and the nature behind it. Then you'll realize you have completely missed the point of this vid.

[hog4r1h]

@PR0L0X go away pubbie

[CrimsonSkul]

lol

[KorvanShedai]

Love how the just attack smiley face Africa

[dracador]

damn i just pissed my pants from laughing XD

"lets just watch the majesty of mining" *still mining* "oh there you go"

[Indyofthedead]

I played a free week and I killed myself (Dead people can still comment on Youtube)

[spirotris]

Hahaha.... Still mining....

[myevilprophecy]

You should probably just go play wow.

[MrPockets62]

i play eve and i love this video it al so true =P

[TheBienator]

if somebody is interested in trying eve online after watching this just pm me for 21 days trial invites.

[0wninwhilez0nin]

10/10



[jezapewpew]

I play eve and this is "the shit". So funny man make more haha

[ICanSeeDaylight]

So funny! Great video!

[flylaxguy7]

This was all an attemp to qualify himself by saying the game is bad and not him. Somebody please believe him!

[IncospicousJoe]

I never laughed so hard

I may never mine again.......

[Netsunio]

Promote Hate about pp who play and like this game

[MrKaitzu]

video blows

[joemamaUSA]

Started laughing at the derpface titan and couldn't stop till the end.

[Dagg215]

Dude, you do NOT understand EVE. go back to MW3.

[emikochan13]

I love eve, but this is hilarious. Feels good being a baby killing soldier / sociopath :P

[DuncanMcCloud]

Great video BTW

[DuncanMcCloud]

I had 2 accounts. All of that happened to me and then CCP focused on PVP only, neglecting everything else. Sorry, but I can't sacrifice everything I've saved up for over months of playing to lose it all in 5 seconds. Games are not meant to be just like real life otherwise we would not want to play LIFE when we get home after a hard day at work. SHIT GAME.

[NaliTikva]

@DuncanMcCloud

CCP's respone to you: watch?v=VgvM7av1o1Q

Also in real life you don't fly around in spaceships and blow random people up.

EVE is more like a sport than a classic computer game.

So either don't play eve (like you currently do) or HTFU (like I am trying to do)!

[LostInTranceLIT]

Geez, this is like a car accident. All so f**** sad to see the misfortune of our unsubscribed brothers out there, doing such a crap instead of thinking about "wtf am I doing here right now?! This is so childish!" But bro, cool effects, this will be the next Star Wars Movie! So wait for Spielbergs call man, I mean, seriously! Well, but I'm out now, doing some serious mining business! :D

[tedhimself]

@LostInTranceLIT Speak English or gtfo

[LostInTranceLIT]

@tedhimself You're hilarious :D I love you man :D

[nipheon]

Very realistic representation of mining.

[PanzerGrenadier1942]

My friend! This is genuine comedy! haha. Great job there, mate!

Keep it up.

[MrSystematica]

yep, that's mining...

[Shaddow00000]

Let me quess...all games are boring to you? I mean u "waste" time on them...poor you how can you do such a thing? Go play outside or collect some stamps or something thats not a timewast...go working for example...not a timewaste.

[Mattieman1337]

Hahaha this is glorious :D

[Usscarrier]

Can I haz your stuff?? =p

[ObsidianHawk]

Looks like someone got ganked in highsec while mining.

[TheDrHaxxx]

I play this stupid shitty game as well and I'm able to wittness 100% of his statements :D he is so damn right.. love this vid <3

[Schizo123456]

HATERS GONNA HATE!

[TKCPrime]

I love EVE Online, I like to play it but I have to say this guy is effin' funny and I couldn't agree more. But seriously I laughed my arse off mate. This was epic. But honestly you might have gone a bit too far with the soldier thingy.

[asaf688]

89 people never played eve

[Foresquirrel]

Wow. I hope one of those baby killing soldiers that you talked about says fuck you when u ask for help you hypocritical asswipe.

[tedhimself]

@Foresquirrel I don't think you know what hypocritical means.

[tedhimself]

@DodixieDefenseForces I didn't ask for your life story, but now that I see which games you play I realise why you're attracted to EVE. It's because you're an insufferable faggot.

[tedhimself]

@DodixieDefenseForces you're almost there man, all you need to do now is suggest I "go back to modern warfare" and you'll be well on the way to feeling superior about playing a shitty game

[tedhimself]

@DodixieDefenseForces tons of people suck dick too. Just saying.

[asaf688]

so true

[MrElgoono]

pubbies

[nolekulikali]

laughed at the mining part :) nice video

you do have little suicidal tendencies do you ;)?

[DubStepAndGames]

Why/how was it ruined by the devs?

Also why is it so much worse now then before?

legit questions/\

[gupsnot]

I've played EvE since June 2004. I watched this video and killed myself laughing, then cancelled my subscription because it's all too true. Quite a number of years down the toilet.

[Adabeese]

PVP in eve...The P stands for Person and the P stand for People so its Player VS People...so damn true lolz

[iwillkillgaia]

I want to get hooked on this game but I don't seem what's so awesome about Eve.

[Adabeese]

@iwillkillgaia You just need to find someone to play with its hella fun if you go minning....yep this is minning.....wait bzzrt. There ya go :))

[MrDevin712]

literally all this stuff happend today to me on eve.

[TheBienator]

if you want to be part of it and are interested in eve invites for 21 extended day trial after watching this vid, message me :P

[tedhimself]

@TheBienator Ignore this man, eve is terrible

[TheBienator]

@tedhimself can you be sure without giving it a try? :)

[tedhimself]

@TheBienator Well I played for several years. That's kind of the point of the video. EVE was ruined by the devs and they're making it worse with every "expansion".

[TheBienator]

@tedhimself its like any other mmo. nothing else. just play as long as it is fun and don't try to be addicted to it, otherwise it *will* hurt (like with any other mmo). all the "eve is real" is crap of course, but you don't have to agree with it to have fun.

[BrimstoneMerc]

Dude you hit the nail on the head. 6 years in game...why oh why??

[Beholder505]

Eve is the greatest game in the history of the world.

[signedlongint]

83 people play EVE Online.

[tdenmon]

So true ;.;

[amazingwave]

This pretty much sums up the entire Eve universe.

[MoonlightSonataGames]

Digg: stealing shit off Reddit since...a long time.

[Anonymous6288]

Digg: stealing shit off Reddit since...a long time.

[tedhimself]

Well I'm Scram Humfunk on Reddit.

[tedhimself]

Did someone repost this somewhere because it's got tons of views all of a sudden

[wezwee22]

@tedhimself reddit

[MrConscience08]

@tedhimself reddit reposted it

[kilace]

@tedhimself reddit

[gnarvinAttacks]

@tedhimself Reddit. Funny video tho!

[ItsTheUkuleleMan]

@tedhimself You have been posted on reddit

[HouseB0und]

@tedhimself The power of reddit!

[Roxas226]

@tedhimself Yea, I reposted it on reddit. I thought it was funny and thought the other people on the site would also enjoy it. My reddit account is named Kraz226

[ctskifreaks]

@tedhimself Yes...

[lakashnik]

@tedhimself linked to reddit today.

[fghjtyui]

@tedhimself digg



[IratusAragrev]

@tedhimself Reddit. 

[sssslamin]

@tedhimself its on reddit gaming right now

[SilentOneL]

@tedhimself Yes.

[Chuck6993Channel]

@tedhimself I run around with a link to it in my Bio on eve :)

[zendertaker]

pvp = player v player

[tedhimself]

@zendertaker you're a moron

[SmashingPixels]

@zendertaker duuuuuhhhh..... duuuuuhuhhhhh how do i smarrrt????

[Dethelem]

next time draw ships to look more like penises...

[mbe102]

This is freaking hilarious.

[tornadexx]

just play mother fucking freelancer

[reedjsupra]

@zirius89

The game really isn't that hard, lol. Maybe if you find Call of Duty intellectually stimulating, then you may find Eve a bit hard to figure out. Eve is all about planning.

[kallanr360]

@reedjsupra to true my friend planning is every thing and having a really big gun/mining lazor = ]

nostalgic vistion looks up and left and remembers a domi taking on 4 a.i battle crusers single handed...with drones and active tanking of course.

sniper bs ftw

[zirius89]

SO TRUE!

I played EvE online for 2 days then i sayed FUCK THAT GAME!

I didnt even finished the tutorial cause this game is so fuckin hard and complicated that you need at least 2 years to understand everything.

This is really just a game for hardcore freaks.

[TheFalloutDude1]

@zirius89 Or people with a brain? You completely missed the point of this video...

He's not talking about how hard it is to get into the game, he's talking about how boring and painful it is to play it.

[NaliTikva]

@zirius89

No its a game for people with a IQ over 110

and yours in probably under 100 lol

[tedhimself]

@NaliTikva EVE fanboy spotted.

[NaliTikva]

@tedhimself

There is no thing as a EVE "fanboy", cause being fan of EVE makes you a MAN.

But why would I discuss with a retard like you.

You go back to your paint drawings, I to my programming work.

Bye

[tedhimself]

@NaliTikva An eve fanboy AND a programmer? Please post a vid showing everyone how you manage all the girlfriends you must have!

[NaliTikva]

@tedhimself

Again "eve fanboys" don't exist cause being fan of eve makes you a MAN (unless your a girl)

Most real EVE players are programmers.

Having one or more girlfriends doesn't make you superior. It takes barely any skill to get a GF, the problem is finding a girl you really love and want to be together with for the rest of your life.

If you think having a girlfriend is impressive you should serious get a life.

[tedhimself]

@NaliTikva hello I am nalitakva, I have no girlfriend because they do not represent a challenge for me. also I play eve which is a demonstration of my massive intellect. I cannot stand criticism of a game I like and furthermore I have no appreciation of irony because it is not compatible with being a faggot

[NaliTikva]

@tedhimself

Well you are free to have criticism.

[tedhimself]

@NaliTikva the point is it's a joke. I played eve for years and had a great time. But you're a humourless twat making typical you tube comments so whatever

[NaliTikva]

@tedhimself

Well video was quit funny, but wrong, you SHOULDN"T put the microphone outside or near a fan or a cat and than ram it up your ass as far as it goes,

You should ram the fan up the cat's ass as far as it goes while keeping the microphone near the cat and all that should happen outside, preferable on a crowded place.

O and in case someone doesn't understand: that was a joke I am against animal cruelty.

[Funjackerjones]

@NaliTikva What do you programme exactly?

[NaliTikva]

@Funjackerjones

computer games.

[newellbul]

I love the middle finger on top of the tower!

[Erennin]

>>>>>>>>>>>watch the majesty of mining ! <<<<<<<

[JerryFro26]

be sure to go for titans, super cheap

[pwn4fun7]

ROFL

[MrBaconbit]

HEY! it's my turn to push other peoples shit back in. LOL This is a awesome vid.

[spywez]

Jesus, this entire video is 100% true. KILLMENOW.

[slowdown3030]

funny shit.get bored and shoot at each other lol.we all have half shields and finally some one shows up and kills the lot of us ha.good times.

[Lethn]

Pretty much sums up my experience of playing EVE, except I seemed to run into a lot of people from Denmark and Finland.

[Raawberry]

brilliant...i'm crying...ohhh

[LucidDream101]

Titan = girls will like you + they're really cheap (LMFAO)

[diodorus4]

Was going to make an "instructional" movie for wannabe tengu pilots so we'd have some tengu plex fucks to gank and loot in a few weeks. I need a faction booster for my cyclone, and some other stuff. This video however already pretty much explains the game mechanics pretty well.

[thing2liv]

I mined in EVE, until i had enough money to attempt to trade and do moving jobs.

I made a bit of money by buying stuff in one system and selling it in others. I got bored though.

[morgoniustwonk]

Holly crap ... It took me 5 additional minutes just to stop laughing ... I laughed so hard my stomach aches and I woke up my roommate ... Oops!

[R4Akai]

68ppl are french

[fiveagainst1]

Re: Titans, "...and they're really cheap."

Love it. The fucking skillbook alone is half a bil. XD

[tedhimself]

I got about half a billion so far in donations which is pretty awesome. BUT DONT STOP THERE, WE STILL HAVE MILLIONS OF KIDS TO FEED

[dambarta]

hey ted, how much money did u allready get?

[Misery1988]

Some of this are actually not very good advise, but some of it's also true.....

[JerryFro26]

still mining......

[Fredfredbug4]

This is so true lol.

[Tedminat0r]

Still mining. xD

[derWolfemann]

I think we could use this strategy to teach fleet composition and the difference between fucking aligning and warping. Crayon seems to be a very effective instructional method for eve online players.

[rbellev]

I, for one, appreciated the visual aids.

[beirut1papa]

PVP = Player VS People lol

[tedhimself]

hey whoever sent me 100 million isk, ahahahahahahaha what were you thinking

[TrueWintersChill]

@tedhimself Its impressive to see a man so magnanimous the generosity of others.

It wasnae me though, I already give to a charity that helps brain injured children :)

[tedhimself]

@TrueWintersChill

speak english please

[NaliTikva]

@tedhimself

He speaks English, learn to read!

[heebog]

@tedhimself what was the name of the philanthropist?

[tedhimself]

@heebog the name of the benefactor was "Slotos", a member of Zombicidal Mania.

[Stress951]

@tedhimself if you are noob then dont play it...

[dynastynyy]

look at this zero punctuation wannabe...

[MatsudairaTakuma]

@dynastynyy Look.. wait, no, no one wants to look at you, I think Ill keep looking at Pyrion, he has a Luchadore mask made of tin foil.

[mp4unlimited]

Ah I love it... It's all so true, really you nailed it.

[muchjadelove]

This video is the shizz--a perfect compliment to the Eve Online learning curve that floating around out there. I will be sending you some ISK.

[F3N1X0289]

GOD i nearly pissed my pants...!!! Thumbs up for you sir!

[tomank101]

Well fucking played, sir

[R4Akai]

a revolver a bullet and ur mout hxDDD

OMFG I PISS MY SELFFXXDDD!

[R4Akai]

oh good so true!!!!!!!

[DasFunkwagen]

lol its so true, its sad

[Sergeo333]

FUCKING EPIC VIDEO 5 stars, A+, 10/10

[TornadoCreator]

TOO FUCKING QUIET!

[uubuuW]

after 3 years of EVE, i can finally say: THIS VID IS ALL TRUE. Isnt any irony.

[flygod09]

if you wish to join eve tell me lol no jk no ya

[prophetxyrael]

let's just watch the majesty of mining

[MrAwsome514]

It seems to me that this video is nothing more than the random crying of a carebear who finally realized he is just not cut out for EVE... Cry some more Mr. Carebear. Your tears are like candy to me.