My Personal Loneliness

[HouseHaunter445]

I wish I had a girlfriend; the lack of intamacy in my life is like a form of starvation, and unfortunately you dont die from it after 20 days. Its a constant crushing weight sitting on my chest. I hope this helped.

[Esoparagon]

I understand this completely. I have one close relationship there for me though. I think human beings by their nature require friendships and intimate relationships. Unfortunately, if there aren't many people who share common values with you on earth it can be difficult to find anyone compatible. Perhaps, though, it's better have some friends than no friends even if they are not completely compatible. Also, lift weights, get a cool car, and fuck chicks. lol

[Paseosinperro]

when i saw this video the fIrst time I was impressed for the sincerity, but now Im like angry in the sense the these things should be normal, free expression should be normal in dalily life, instead of "OMG, someone is being sincere"

[mapoff]

I know its hard to believe, but I did not grow up with religion shoved down my throat. I made the choice when I was 22 from my own looking at everything out their. MSG me if anyone is on the fence because I have wild experiences to make me believe. In short I don't feel alone because I know whereever I go I'm being looked after.

[MirageScience]

your always alone but you can never ever be alone. you have yourself and yourself only.

I'm referring to that voice in your head.

[damonthemoney93]

hey i've been a long time follower of your videos, but i've only just come across this one. what you expressed in this video is representative of exactly how i feel. I'm seventeen, I don't quite know what causes this emotional distance with people ... I've thought that maybe its because I'm introverted (something I've only really discovered about myself in the last year). I mean I did the Myers-Briggs personality test in desperation to find some kind of answer of how to have better ...

[damonthemoney93]

@damonthemoney93 ...relationships with people. I thought that the best match for me was either ISTP or INTP, somewhere in-between anyway. I've tried, in reverie, to find solutions of how to form and maintain better and more emotionally strong relationships with my friends (and women!). But I cannot ever settle on a difinitive answer, and I understand that looking outside of myself for answers probably isn't the best way to solve this but I'm asking for your help as you seem to be happier now.

[TheJackajill]

I feel the same way. I'm only 14, and one day I just decided I would go through my list of 200 plus Facebook friends to see who I really connected with. I only found four. As I thought about it more, I had only seen my friends twice outside of school during the whole past semester. In short, I didn't have any friends at my new high school.

This realization really made me feel lonely. Really, it's not that i like hanging out with people, or having relationships, but the knowledge of being lone

[rmsolympic1]

Amazing, as you seem like a very intelligent, articulate man who would have little trouble attracting freinds, especially ladies. Anyway, thoughful video

[philbateman1989]

I was on holiday recently, and I met this girl one night. We stayed up chatting till the early hours and we went to bed and lay there looking into each other's eyes until we fell asleep, smiling. I never felt that close to anyone my whole life. Then the next morning, she went home. We barely had a goodbye. We promised each other we'd hang out again. The sad reality is, we will most likely never meet again. It's nice to have that experience with someone, but it really hurts when it's gone.

[TheHappytosee]

Thank you for sharing yourself so beautifully. Most people have a lot of loneliness and fear, but just develop addictions so they don't have to feel them. It's okay to feel lonely. In my experience, l suffer less with it if I don't build a lot of stories or interpretations around it.

I bet you're going to meet a lovely lady that really cares about you.

From a 65 year old lady who has been married, raised a child and also had a lot of loneliness.

[krankenshaft]

I know EXACTLY where you are coming from. I was in that position until I was 23 when I got lucky and met an old primary school friend who was a raging socialite with an enormous network of friends, and he constantly invited me out every weekend. At first I said always said yes and never turn up, I was too scared. But eventually I did and over the last few years i'[ve became a part of that newtork. It took a LONG time for me to recover this much, but I'm still fucked in terms of girlfriends.

[SelfReliable81]

I am in the same boat you are in (If you still are), I felt so lonely realizing I didn't have any friends for a long time and It was painful to come to a realization to and I was sad. I am currently working on making friends and joining something that pertains to my interest to make friends.

[RlGrl1]

yeah i'm like u. it is a hard realization to have. i love philosophy, politics, religion etc. but feel like connecting to others is the most important part of life to me. + to God, the universe.

[Zarathustra1776]

i feel your pain. loneliness is a pain as tangible as a stab-wound.

[laksefisker]

This video right here is one of the best ones I've seen on YouTube. Seriously. It has restored my faith that the planet still has actual human beings on it rather than mindless robots parroting whatever consumerist mantra is the current hot topic.

I delight in all the knowledge offered by the web (your videos included), but it's little glimpses of humanity like this that keep me from logging off permanently. It's raw, it's sincere it's human.

The world needs more of this.

[Yontar]

it's hard for me to actually find people i can tolerate for long periods of time. i only have about 4 or 5 people that have really had profound effects on my life. one of my friends inspired me to lift myself up out of my mental lethargy and read books and actually have real opinions regarding important issues. one of them inspired me to learn music and it has provided me with hours of joy throughout my life. you are a genuine person. few of us exist anymore. keep pushing on.

[Ksabrs45]

Given that nearly all people have terrible relationships with their friends, family, and lovers, only interrupted by brief moments of connection, I do not find much to envy in the "non-lonely" state of the vast majority of people. At least when you're alone you aren't constantly called on to subsidize and manage the dysfunctional nonsense of a host of fog spewing parasites.

[themetalhead667]

I feel the same

[niriop]

Going back to college recently , I'm going through the exact same motions myself quite a lot.

[rickdelagarza]

Your tied up in too much semantics or you numb yourself to the system, unfortunately your the former.But there is a third kind and its those who actually have solutions to relevant conflicts, not bloated semantically interpreted terminology.

I'm probably not helping....

I hope you see this .I'm being sincere.

[boldswede]

i just commented on your venus project vid. And i now think i should of answered differently. Never the less, it's never too late to love life! You're obviously intelligent and have no social issues so what's stopping you having life long, meaningful relationships? i think you need to stop thinking too much and relax. I know it may be out of your comfort zone but its amazing to have no worries! break your common life cycles and do what feels good. Again please PM me, i want to talk about venus.

[jerebol]

Well, on recommendation from me, try taking up Martial Arts as a hobby. One you can develop great relationships. Believe it, Martial Arts creats confience (creates endorphins, makes you happy and positive) You stay in great shape and healthy. Personally it has helped my life tremendously. From being insecure, lonley. To a confident person who believes in myself, my philosophy and continuously self improvement. The main purpose is to better yourself.

[mrphysx]

Like you said in a follow-up video, there's no shame in expressing needs, or in asking for help when you need it. If you (like me) have trouble making those sorts of *meaningful* connections with others on your own, I've found that talking to a counselor or therapist about it can help.

Just my $.02, since you asked. :) Hope you find what you're looking for soon.

[mrphysx]

I could have made this video. I'm right there with you. Most of the time I'm fine with being alone, which is how I got this way in the first place, but I've realized I miss having people that genuinely would care if I had a bad day. Or would be happy if I had a good day; there's no one out there that I could share that with.

I want meaningful relationships, but don't really know how to get them anymore. So I started seeing a counselor about it a couple months ago and it's helping.

[quicksno]

well done man. sounds like you're well on your way to absorbing some of this scar tissue and moving on with a fuller appreciation of....

[TruthHidden]

I am there, most people do not get it. I blocked people out completely until about a year and a half ago. I am STILL getting used to being more open. One of the worst months of my life was June this year. I used to be hardened, but now I am pretty open. If anyone tries to psychologize you they are most likely idiots. Keep it up, it takes alot of guts to start opening up.

[OdeToNecrophilia]

I don't deep connection to anyone either. But I've never had a desire to in my life, to be honest. And I kind of love it this way. Maybe that is because I know that due to circumstance I always have the ability to do so.

Why am I telling you this anyway? You wont appreciate it. You smug asshole. Nah, I dont think youre a smug asshole anymore than I know I am. I put myself on a pedestal, I swear I worship myself... Hmm... Get over yourself, bud.

[NamelessCommenter]

Ignore those who advise against counseling. Every field has experts; the wise man seeks them out. Counselors are advisers, not brainwashers. They know the methods that have helped others, & they can help you tailor them to your own circumstances. Consider it.

Meantime, consider this: feelings stem from thoughts; thoughts from beliefs. What are the thoughts behind your sadness? What are the beliefs behind those thoughts? Are those beliefs valid (e.g., "I'm unlovable")? Discard invalid beliefs.

[weilandjason]

You are definitely NOT ALONE on this. In fact, I know a lot of people who have a lot of people around them all of the time and they are truely lonelier than some with no one. I.e. the answer is not in the number (quantity) of people, therefore it must be a "quality" issue. You probably have found two people who you DO gravitate twords and you realized that when they are absent from you, that you will miss them. Diagnosis: completely normal sensation of loss. Best of learning and luck.

[chasewilson90]

first, dont harden up. if you put up a wall, no one will get over it.

second, being radically different restricts who you can be friends with and date. my girlfriend right now basically just told me that she will never love me because im an atheist. not because my views are different, but because they rest on such solid foundation...and because they wont change to match hers. sometimes the same thing happens with friends, although to a lesser extent i think.

[chasewilson90]

third, its not easy for some people to make friends. that doesnt mean you cant, it just means you have to find/create the opportunity. it is the same thing with dating. im in college, so its a lot easier, but when you "enter the real world", you dont have the same pool of people accessible to you. people tend to befriend their coworkers, but otherwise...its not easy. have high hopes, but dont set high expectations that will probably fail

[Virtueman1]

Wow! After 3 days this video is the most popular one you've ever put up on YouTube.

I think you owe your audience a follow-up(!)

[XOmniverse]

I don't know if owe is the right word, but I probably will post one soon. I'm kind of going through a lot of stuff right now.

[MegaLaidback]

@Virtueman1 I can In a room full of family and friends and still feel like I don't belong. I don't know why that is ?

[lordarutha14]

I can relate 100%. I moved around a lot as a child and as fast as I made friends, my family moved away. I also have a hearing difficulty. the combination of the two make it very difficult for me to socialise. Also I am very intelligent (no false modesty), and I find I don't enjoy the artificial small talk. I like meaningful discussions and most people don't like that. right now, I am really busy with work and that helps, but xmas etc round family is tough. My advice cont...

[lordarutha14]

(which I intend to take myself), is this: don't bother with counselling - you need to make friends - what more can a shrink tell you. First, understand u need to balance yr life - say 70% work, 15% me time, and 15% friends time. So first find out what u want to do to keep yrself busy when not socialising eg do yr 8 hr daily job, then go home and do video editing for YT. yr me time is important too.  So work and hobbies are important. Then allocate time for friends and girls. cont...

[lordarutha14]

As 4 where to meet friends and girls - well if u find out the answer to that question - please do let me know! Hope this helps. Remember the keyword here is balance work, me time and social time (Balance or moderation is good for everything in life, diets, pllanning our activities, spending money etc) cheers

[grantsinmypants2]

Which of these two words describes those feelings you felt?

Regretful, or victimized?

[MstrirSage]

My closest friend is my brother. We talk on the phone almost every day, mostly about his film projects. My next closest friend gets drunk and high every chance he gets. He isn't the cerebral type, though once when we were high we talked about barter and gift and the legal tools necessary for a gift community. Our temperaments and tastes in substances keeps us together. I don't personally know anyone who really shares my interest in anarchist legal theory. That's what youtube and blogs are for.

[MstrirSage]

I guess what I'm trying to say is: I don't think it's normal for other people to meet all my criteria of 'good friend'. "Meaningful relationship", as I've seen it used, means a relationship with someone who embodies a large and diverse group of interests that one finds fulfilling. Most everyone I know shares only 1 or 2 of my interests. Those who share my interest in anarchist legal theory (a) I "know" only through youtube and (b) I know disagree virulently with me on things I deeply care about.

[MstrirSage]

I should mention that one of my closest friends is my teetotaling, fundamental Baptist, nuclear deterrent defending dad. We like Russian composers. And we're both vegans, animal rights activists, and Indo-philes.

[Sparkygravity]

Yeah that was my life for about 10 years, met my gf, and it's no longer like that for me. But I still mourn my lack of friends which is zero, if you discount my gf. I can call my sisters whom life styles and experiences have led them to similar "question-the-assumptions-of-s­ociety" attitude.

For the most part people want to belong, enforce the "status-quo". I'm in a place where I'm seeking others like me, but they've had it like I have.. and don't really want to open up.

[Sepero1]

I just want to reiterate what a few others have already said- Freestate Project

[icfnord]

I feel the same way. Most people seem to be brainwashed automatons and incapable of making any real connections.

I've been around for about thirty years now and there are a few things that work for me:

1. Work. If you keep busy doing something productive, you always feel a lot better.

2. Embrace real culture. When ever I get down I always go watch someone like Murray Rothbard and I don't feel so alone anymore.

Be thankful you have the internet because life would really suck with out it.

[AdminDan]

bingo. i have this problem.

[Seansafk]

X, you live in Denver right? Just thought I'd throw it out there but I live about 15 mins south of Denver. I'm also a voluntaryist/atheist like yourself. I know it may sound odd coming from a stranger on the internet, but I think it would be cool to have a friend with a like mind that lives nearby. I feel very similar to you and also don't have many people around I can truely relate to. Hit me up sometime if your interested, I think we may have a lot in common.

[XOmniverse]

You're the second or third person to hit me up in the Denver area as a result of this video. I'm considering arranging some kind of meetup.

[chaserehn]

I don't want any meaningful connections. But when i do i can find them. All you have to do is Value yourself and people will find you. But you also have to get out of the house. For me... I like to drink more then i like people and i would rathor not drive so... Thats my trade of and im totaly happy with that.

either get out or start brewing your own beer.

[bcsizemore]

@XOmniverse:

I'm 99% in the exact same boat, but I'm horribly incapable of showing genuine empathy. I tried typing something meaningful, but it just doesn't work.

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.

- Friedrich Nietzsche

[PacifistCirclePit]

fuck it i cant put it into words, but i'm in a very similar situation.

[sumadartsan]

There's nothing wrong with you man, you are one of the sane ones in the insane asylum that is our society. There are people like you out there, you just have to seek them out and be able to sift through the insane ones.

[func0il]

Tony Robbins has tons of advice about that stuff

[Individualism101]

Maybe join the FreeStaters? They seem to have a pretty cool vibe going.

[theindividual11]

I get the exact same feeling right around the few times a year when I really get the chance to spend time with "friends" like conventions, gatherings, ect. Things feel great until the deep sinking feeling a few days afterwards when, ironically, I feel more alone than normal even though I had more social interaction during those days than I do for weeks at a time on average.

All I can say is that this feeling will pass in time. Reading, movies, video games, whatever it all helps.

[nexalacer]

I really appreciate your honesty here, X. I think more videos like this and perhaps talking to a professional would definitely improve your situation.

For me, I often use abstract topics to avoid the reality of this situation. So for example, I'll get really into some topic like climate change or the validity of a given economic theory in order to avoid looking at these issues in myself. I hope you don't do the same, but I think it's easy for those of us interested in liberty.

[Skuu]

I've had exactly the same experience. Luckily I recently made a very good friend and that has made all the difference, being able express myself openly to them really helps, even if it's just one person. But I'd agree with the general statements that I've read here that you should put the effort in to meet new people and do community stuff, actively looking for genuine people to be friends with, accepting that some people won't be so great for you.

[i2aymond]

It took me about a year of conscious effort to get from, "I am fucking alone." to having some great friends. Go out and listen to people, most won't shut up, try to connect with them. From my experience some people are crap and so you may want to keep them at a distance but a few really are fantastic, the sorting is sometimes difficult. Usually once you plug into a social circle it is easy to make connections, getting in is the hard part. I like the bars but other places will do. Get cell phone.

[5jeanbittersweet]

I still have this withdrawl when I hang with friends I greatly click with but don't live near. I actually say"here comes the weeklong withdrawl" but other relationships do help, takes time, Sierra Club is nice if you have one.they meet ,hike, but people can still converse or clubs like astronomy club. etc. just getting out there..but sometimes I can-t cope with that..admitting why you do stuff and trying ti change what you don't like helps..They are lucky you find them so special you miss them.

[nine9s]

I've had this exact experience when meeting people I've met over YouTube. Such a profound connection, and then days later, it's back to "the real world," which looks horribly shoddy in comparison. (In fact, Aaron and Rose were two of those YT people I've met in person.) Staying connected via IM and Facebook helps a lot, though of course it isn't the same as having them just across town. Luckily for me, one of those people lives close by, and it's a lifesaver. Hang in there.

[juliecranford]

*empathizes*

[therealritasue]

Emoting is a great way to both help you deal with issues and help the many other people who share them feel much less alone. I'm pretty much in the same boat as you in that I have essentially no meaningful in-person relationships, and maybe a couple long distance or Internet friendships. It's always been damn near impossible for me to connect with people in person.

[dexarouskies]

I would pay attention to this problem, since nothing else will contribute more to your ultimate happiness and mental health than the close meaningful relationships that you develop with people. Your emotions should be a signal to you that you should spend more time on this to change things.

[Transitiving]

I kinda know the feeling but it doesnt last long enough to motivate me to cultivate relationships.

[avagdu]

Meeting up with trustworthy people that you have a lot in common with on the internet can be a great way to make new friendships, it's worked for me. Maybe you can find some who are closer to where you live? Either way, even if you have to travel it's worth it.

[blue46gt]

You should move to SoCal so you can hang with Aaron, Rose, and others like us all the time :)

[danielacheson]

I've never seen any of your videos before but you popped up (one of the people i our cul to rated this 5 stars) on my page and I thought I'd check it out. I have to say, respect, man. I totally get where you're coming from as I've experienced similar feelings throughout life....our culture is inherently alienating and as a result leaves many lonely, battered souls in its wake. Persevere - there are people out there for you to share a great, meaningful relationship with....

Again, respect.

[kvan1917]

I've been essentially the same way up until my first semester at college. I've met lots of people and feel fairly content with most of my relationships with them. They can feel a little shallow at times, but it's better than nothing I suppose.

[FatGermanBastard]

Maybe you can meet people at work or maybe you can study at a university. You are almost guaranteed to meet people there. You can also use the internet. I for one met my gf on a message board on politics. We were having the same opinion on everything so we decided to become friends. That was 9 years ago. We have been living together for 2 years. So yeah...the internet is a very good way to meet people with the same thoughts and interests. Afterall you met these two guys online so it works.

[Cailwyn]

I considered myself somewhat fortunate in this realm. I've gone through a lot of stuff that has made me want to shutdown socially, especially school, but have never disconnected. My brother has always been a very lonely person, where as I have not, but in reality we are very similar.

I always thought it was luck until I tried to integrate him into my circle of friend. It occurred to me then that he had set himself apart from humanity with a superiority complex.

[Cailwyn]

I made it my mission to start cutting his ego down to size when he was treating other as inferior to him or acting self righteous, but never around others. I'm not sure how much of a role it played, but he has finally broken his shell.

I'm not saying this is you, XO, and I'm certainly not judging you, but maybe your looking to hard for perfect relationships. You gotta break some eggs to make an omelet, and you're going to waste some time with shitty people when finding friends.

[Cailwyn]

The thing is, if you assume that someone is a bad person before you get to know them then you'll never know anyone, because EVERYONE can, and usually does, make a bad first impression of themselves. This is why meeting people feels awkward. In fact, most of my closest friend were people I disliked at the very first.

And, if you latter find out that you really don't like someone, then its extremely easy to terminate a relationship. Stop looking for the 'best' people and you just might find them.

[TotalAnomy]

man this is hardcore

[adorianvlad]

Join one of the many online updated schedules' clubs.

Depending on your interests, there are tons, or you can even start your own club.

Sometimes, the hardest thing about these clubs is how to choose between 2 simultanous events!

They are reliable, because the coordinators have the responsibility to follow-up with the schedule, and most of them don't have an un-sign policy, so if you change your mind it wouldn't be a problem.

Walking, hiking, going to movies, restaurants, other sports, etc

[hazelnut1593]

I know what you mean.

[Virtueman1]

Fuck.

I don't think this is overly complicated though. You probably haven't even tried to find good friends and so you've missed out, only to realize it now.

I think some people (myself included) can sometimes get into a habit of evading that they are more alone than they'd want to be, for some reason. Maybe that's worth introspecting on.

[mcphilthy]

Beautiful honesty X.

I can certainly relate. Working through things with my therapist has been really beneficial - especially at getting at and identifying all those little coping mechanisms and auto-choices we have built in. Still working it out.

[438MillionBC]

I only have 3 friends, really, that I do anything with outside of school. But I'm so close to them that they are essentially an extension of my family. Like ExistentialistExtent said, it's better to have no friends than friends that you don't connect with. I don't really have any friend-making advice...most of my friendships in my life were accidents. I hope you get through this rough patch though.

[ediblepet]

Life is difficult when we compare it to what could have been. My recommendation is to apply your reasoning ability to the task of making friends. Keep in mind that a key element of socializing is tolerance and positivity. As you are a moral person you might find you have to tolerate a lot of immorality, and as you are a lonely person you want to avoid being a downer or overly clingy.

[theendofconfusion]

It's good to get those feelings out and I do have a problem similar to yours. You should express yourself more often.

[ExistentialExistent]

It's hard to find people you really connect with. I think having no friends is better than friends you don't connect with. A lot of people talk about dumb stuff and are not worth the time. I started both a writing group and a philosophy club. You might be able to find offline friends worth hanging out with in clubs of that nature.

[yohhaku1]

First off took some balls to post.

Also my advice you is find a hobby that would make you interact with more people, orrrrrr (haha you might get a kick out of this) look into MDMA or psilocybin mushrooms to help you get past alot of the shit you feel is hurting you.

I hope this helps a little bit and good luck dealing with that shit

[XxxNuMbxxX0301]

Although it would be inadvisable for me to give you any specific advice (because I am not familiar with your particular situation), I think it would be servieable to remind you that you are not alone in your loneliness, if that makes sense. I am also undergoing a very lonesome, difficult time in my life, so i can somewhat relate.

If I could offer one bit of advice, I would exhort you not to shut people out entirely. I don't know about you, but I tend to alienate people. CONT . . .

[XxxNuMbxxX0301]

Long ago, when I was a child, the ones who were supposed to be closest to me, shunned me, and I therefore tend to dismiss people indiscriminately. I'll say to myself: "I don't need anyone; everyone can just go to hell." That sort of thinking only exacerbates things. So, to put it briefly, I would urge you to allow yourself to get close to people--like Rose and Aaron, with whom you obviously get along superbly.

I hope that helps, man. I think you're pretty cool, by the waty. =]

[zezt]

I just want to say that today has been one of the toughest days of my life, and your video is JUST what I needed because you are being so real, honest. Thanks!!

[XOmniverse]

I'm glad it helped you through a tough time in your life.

[101011a]

I can relate to the experience, because I've been experiencing the same thing the past couple of months. I haven't had any great epiphany yet on dealing with my own barriers to let people in because I don't trust a lot of people out there. It makes for a very lonely experience.

I usually fill my time with various things such as reading, watching movies, surfing porn, etc. I haven't had any great perspective shifts to deal with the loneliness yet.

[peanarchist]

i think one must give up intelect to become social.

[UcanbeGOD]

pretty much.

[i2aymond]

Lies.

[UnschoolingEagle]

My best piece of advice would be took look for groups of people who get together and they share you views and such. Currently I am looking for Unschooling conferences in my area.... hopefully I'll meet a single lady lolol most girls I date don't work out too well lol they usually never share my views on raising children and the world in general.

But yea, check for people in your area who share you views and stuff. It's the best I can come up with sorry lol.

[UnschoolingEagle]

Signofthedollar has a point. Some type of exercise or working out releases endorphins (I think that is what they are called) that create something of a natural high and keeps you in good spirits. It also helps you gain energy and you feel good about yourself. Builds confidence and what not.

I love running and snowboarding and occasionally lifting weights. Honestly if I don't do it for like a week, I feel worse in general.

Anyway yeah just some more advice from me lol

[Signofthedollar]

Busting on the weights will lift your spirits. Thats what I do. Of course I live with my mom, so hey man things could be alot worse, just saying.

[Pentazoid111]

I totally can relate to your personal experiences with people. I didn't connect with anyone in college and most people before. i met this one person in college that I really liked hanging out with a lot and he sort of expressed the same feelings about our friendship, but we he fell completely out of context, I was not sure who I could trust when he was no longer aapart of my life. So I just spent time finding a hobby that I am really passionate about to supress my feelings of loneliness

[HymerSchmidt]

I suffer from the same loneliness. I got past hardening a few years ago (my coping mechanism was humor), but I wasn't prepared for it -- that kind of cold is really hard to deal with when your feelers are exposed. If you're going to go there, I recommend professional help.

[RationalDischarge]

It took a LOT of courage, strength, and personal character for you to post this video. I wouldn't have had the balls to make it. XD

I've cried out of isolation too, and out of the fact that I feel so alone in my ideas (individualist anarchism, agorism, disenchantment with politics, etc.)

If you're ever near Charlotte, NC and feel the need to share a conversation and a few beers with one of your heretofore unseen co-conspirators, don't hesitate to drop me a line.

Take care, and feel better!

[IndividualAutonomy]

XOmniverse this video really got to me.

[Charlesdance]

I remember a phase where i didn't have any close friends or family and i used to go out with a couple of guys who i felt like they pitied me, we used to go out for a drive or food or whatever for a couple of hours every fortnight or so. Anyway, afterward, when i would return home, i would feel like shit, like really really shitty, but i couldn't figure out why. I guess i wanted something more, i wanted to mean more to people as a person than just somebodies good deed and charity case. Not sure.

[Rose0883]

Yeah that's a shitty situation- it's good that you wanted more, I think it shows you have more respect for yourself than just to be someone's third wheel.

[zaneshark]

I know how you feel man! A big problem is if a person moves a lot as a child and frequently changes schools and all, and never have the chance to form strong friendships.

[Quag7]

If you're the kind of person into ideas, then you can be around other people who are into ideas, and be silly and have smalltalk.

But it is difficult to be around people who aren't into ideas, and still be silly and have smalltalk.

Why don't you hang out a shingle? Start an in-person discussion group, either with the intent of debate where anyone can join, or just a local gathering of people who share your ideas and things you're interested in?

[Quag7]

The group you form doesn't have to be something that is just about talking about a specific subject or set of ideas - it provides a context and foundation for forming relationships with people: a community.

Here's a fact for you: Lots of people feel exactly like you do. And more than you would think. You are in *good company*.

Maybe they can't do bars and that kind of thing. Maybe what they need is someone saying, "I'm into ideas, and I'm alone. Why don't we be alone together?"

[Quag7]

If you lived near here, even though I have some disagreements with you, we could be friends. I think that of several people on youtube. I sometimes wish there was a campfire locally where the fire never went out, and all the interesting people I've never gotten to meet in real life just congregated there to talk.

I wish people into ideas, people with unusual, quirky, or brilliant ideas, were the norm in life, rather than the pervasive alienating dullness so many cultivate.

[RationalDischarge]

That's a beautiful vision! Maybe even a "thinkers village" or something to that effect could be feasible, where we don't have to be so isolated. How can we make it happen?

[Quag7]

The difficult thing is for people to take a - excuse the expression - "leap of faith." It would require people to uproot their (apparently mostly unfulfilling) lives, interrupt their careers, and put a stake in the ground in a community which may or may not work out.

The safe, the comfortable - this is what we have been bred to seek. I would love to get together a bunch of people and work out hypothetically how this would work, but I have no idea how much interest there is in it.

[vonPeterhof]

I have been in that state you are describing for the last 4-5 months. The result of a combination of me being effectively banished from the place where I grew up, a few stupid mistakes in college choices, my ineptitude at making new friends (as well as retaining old ones) and the economic crisis. Having a large but close-knit extended family helps, but I am way too busy to be with them most of the time.

Sorry, but I really have no advice for you, you just gave me an excuse to show off my misery

[Shezmu]

I can kinda relate. As a anarchist and an atheist who holds a bunch of odd or taboo hobbies, I don't really have anyone that I can talk to without censoring myself, making my relationships feel fake in a way.

Man, rationality is a bitch to deal with.

[sharperguy]

I feel exactly the same.

[chris3443]

I empathise with you very strongly.

[hellavadeal]

Find purpose in your life and you will never feel that . Such lonlyness is from a spiritual vaccume more than a lack in relationships with others.

It is the big God shaped hole in a person , it can only be filled with other thing temperarally. That is why you feel it after your friends left. A person that has the right thing filling that hole will never feel lonely even if he lives on a desert island all by himself.

[peace97914101]

Thank you for being honest and truthful.

[rhyfelur]

It's not just you, everyone gets those feelings from time to time. Especially people who tend to think deeply about things. I see them as valleys in our emotional landscape.

As for me...I get those feelings when I move to a different city or state (which I have done frequently throughout my life). The remedy for me has been to keep family as a constant in my life. If you have family that you can be close with...I highly recomend it.

[lordmetroid]

You cry now, I'll tell you it will not become easier, I cry now and then and I have been lonely for the last decade now.

[danielsondanielson]

Well, in the world of humans, there are many suggestions about importance of interpersonal relationships. If you were an ex-Xtian, you would know it from sermons; also politicians drivel lot about the importance of community cohesion, and some anarchists might think about nothing else but communal life. But with or without friends, wives, civil partners, kids or nefews, human life has no objective meaning, and it's after all a fight against death, which is lost in advance. Why cry for it?

[robshred66]

Man, this was probably the most intense video I've seen in a very long time on youtube. I know exactly how you feel--me and a million others on here. You start to ask yourself, what the hell is wrong with me? You tell yourself, fuck, if I don't get a gf, a group of friends, whatever, in x amt of time I'm gonna kill myself. Maybe you're not thinking about that, but you might be close to it. Really, there's nothing to say, but that life is hilarious, and you have to treat it like a comedy.

[XOmniverse]

I'm not suicidal at all. On the contrary, this is motivating me to figure out how to fix the problem rather than escape it.

Escaping it consists of denial and coping mechanisms which I am working on peeling away.

[robshred66]

You never know what's going to happen in the future. Our lives, all of us, are filled with moments of happiness and, more often, esp for people like you and me, despondency. Just realize that there is something great out there waiting to happen, and who knows when? In the mean time, make it happen--there's a whole shit load of meeting groups and shit on the internet you can find. You're an amazingly intelligent and affable person, no one like that goes lonely forever. Just stick with it.

[stratvic]

Move to New Hampshire .... Freestate Project.

[fede2]

life is there, right in front of your grasp. be in charge of your happiness. you have the power.

i don't mean to belittle what you're going through. i symathize completely. loneliness is the worst thing i could think about one could experience. just think that every instance of your existence is an opportunity to make it better.

i suppose i don't really need to tell you this since you're sort of an objectivist.

[XOmniverse]

I have every intention of moving in a positive direction with my life. But part of that journey is being open about myself and expressing how I genuinely feel.

[fede2]

sure, i'm not judging you for it.

[vdrew43]

I hear ya. Just split with my girl yesterday and I cried like a baby last night. I don't know much about what the healthiest approach to dealing with sadness is, but I guess I would advise allow yourself to feel the emotions. Talk to people, pursue social groups with similar interests, in person. Don't let sadness fester. I applaud your courage in posting the video.

[Matchu80]

.. All I can say is to cherish those relationships you have, and that you seem like an extremely likeable person; so know that there are alot of people in this world that can give you love and the emotional responses you need.

[Matchu80]

Loneliness can definately be a very painful thing..

It's good to hear that it makes you strive for contact and relationship, though, and not the other way around; because although it can be helpful to cut yourself off from emotional relationships as a defense-mechanism, it can also be dangerous to one's emotional or mental health.

I wish I had advice to give you for reaching out to find relationship, but that's a bit tougher. All I can say is to cherish those relationships you have, ...

[boxant]

Brother, I know exactly where you are coming from.

[tiecuando]

How about you and I become roommates then?

[ZamatoElite]

I am JUST like you.

It is nearly impossible for me to create close relationships with people. People tell me I'm very "intimidating." I have tried to be more open and friendly, but I have had little (to no) success so far.

Over the years, I have grown to be incredibly pessimistic and hateful. I suppose that is how I cope.

Do you have social anxiety? Or perhaps have you not had any opportunities to meet people?

[AnarchoSolipsist]

"Over the years, I have grown to be incredibly pessimistic and hateful. I suppose that is how I cope."

I suspect that a lot of people who blame grand things like evil nature of humanity, injustice & inequality, oppression etc. for their misanthropy, bitterness and depression, are really like that because of smaller personal stuff like lack of true friendship. Xomniverse though is different - he doesn't seem bitter at all to me and appears to be mentally very stable person to me.

[OdeToNecrophilia]

Ha. I agree w/ you, fellow solipsist.

Well, Zamato is a fucking kid, he has many years to grow up and realize he cant hold in all that suppressed desire for relationships with other humans by being married to his games.

Whatever, did I word that right? Hopefully.

How can you be an anarchist? You ain't even sure that the government exists.

[ZamatoElite]

You don't even know me. The only person you know is my ACT on Youtube.

[OdeToNecrophilia]

Meh. I'm psychic.

[ZamatoElite]

I'm sure you are.

But your analysis of the "Zamato Elite" character is fairly interesting.

[OdeToNecrophilia]

Probably because it is fairly correct?

One day.... One, one day.

[ZamatoElite]

It's completely wrong, but still interesting non the less.

[OdeToNecrophilia]

I was right as I am never wrong on my thoughts. My mind don't lie to me. Yours does, however. This right here is a perfect example.

[OdeToNecrophilia]

No, they do not find you intimidating. It's just that you are shy and get tense and don't say much. People can't handle the quiet types.

YOU have social anxiety. And you should take off the headset and get a job. Lol

At least you ain't easily offended, or at least don't show it.

[TheRightDecision]

wow! that was so honest

[chorizo1337]

but honestly man, playing wow all day. feels good man

[Finiras]

heh, i got the feeling you were gonna cry any moment. i had similar experiences. no friends whatsoever for the first 22 years of my life and then i had a great weekend with a bunch of people and i had a very similar experience as yours afterwards

[chorizo1337]

Haha man i kinda feel the same way too sometimes, im trying to find new groups of people irl, man it would be great if i could meet some anarcho libertarian people/girls

[Finiras]

girls aren't people? :P

[ZamatoElite]

I LOL'ed

[UcanbeGOD]

Me too!

[OdeToNecrophilia]

Fuck you. Women are people.

[chorizo1337]

id like to find an easy anarchist girl i can fuck, but intellectual talk/interesting shit comes from the guys. i dont put up with annoying bitches like you do