SMBC Theater - Problem Solved

[Jetz72]

Problem 1: 3A + 8B = 14.

Problem 2: 7A + 4B = 18.

PROBLEM SOLVED!

[SmashJazzBlammyMataz]

Like this or you're fired!

[JackALope044]

>The Executive Branch now has the power to indefinitely detain American citizens

It was funnier when it wasn't true.

[luisytacc]

Well, his actions are immoral, but things are getting done... I guess I am satisfied with this president

[septumis]

Problem 1: The top two comments use the same template.

Problem 2: Every video I watched so far mention some type of penis joke.

PROBLEM NOT SOLVED!

[DarthFlaw]

Wow. They called the thing at 2:20 2 years before it happened!

[42isthemeaningoflife]

An insight into the outcome of a Rick Perry presidency...

[Cyrathil]

@42isthemeaningoflife I thought of Gingrich, despite the strong Southern drawl.

[iamverynicesir]

The funny thing is that all of his solutions WOULD technically work

[GMack066]

2032: James Ashby becomes the second president in American history to serve 2 non-consecutive terms.

[donwantstobesedated]

@MrUgglybabee Problem 3: Umm...

[TheMegaGodOfAnime]

Problem 2 - Problem 1 = 1 Solution = PROBLEM SOLVED!

[TheMegaGodOfAnime]

Problem 2 - Problem 1 = 1 Solution = PROBLEM SOLVED!

[Saiga6]

Harvest baby organs, touch him on the penis.

[killerkittysniper2]

Problem 1 this video isn't famous enough. Problem 2 I need more jokes to spread. PROBLEM SOLVED!

[ehayes3791]

holy fucking shit....what am i doing as the top comment?

[Zanco]

@ehayes3791 Nice try! but it ain't gonna work

[ehayes3791]

@Zanco what do you mean?

[VannahWilson]

@Zanco No seriously, what does that mean?

[Zanco]

@VannahWilson It is because a lot of time people write comments (usually about their own comment--recursion ftw) in hopes that it will make other people thumb them up. So when you wrote "holy shit what am I doing as top comment", I assume that you were part of the the thumb up crowd... if you are not then great! you should try making more witty comments (like most of the ones you see on smbc comment box) if not... then :(

:P anyways, that's what I meant :)

[VannahWilson]

@ehayes3791 Your comment was funny, that's what. I almost spewed my tea everywhere.

[holycow818181]

"Problem Solved" is my favourite of the three big repetitive comment jokes. "Touch him on the penis" and "biggest X is best X" don't take any thought, but at least Problem Solved lends itself to being a little different each time.

[noone3679]

touch him on the penis. PROBLEM SOLVED

[nikoincroatia]

I'm pretty sure this is how the government really solves problems.

[DdlyHeadshot]

0:17 - Green Screen clipping error!

[trekkiebaby]

PROBLEM SOLVED!

[tnekkc]

Medical costs are rising from the third party payer system of insurance.

Make the government the third party payer.

Problem solved.

[Lynx557]

Problem 1: Too many dislikes on this video

Problem 2: People needed for testing deadly neurotoxin

PROBLEM SOLVED!

[krehera]

AT GOOGLE HEADQUARTERS:

Problem 1: We need to be able to distinguish humans from robots.

Problem 2: We have about a bazillion .pdfs we need to transcribe to plaintext.

Problem solved!

[123Dpro]

@krehera Wow, this actually got used in an SMBC comic, comic 2259

[McNoah94]

@123Dpro YOU ARE MY HERO

[Sappheyes]

Problem 1: Too many women with idle hands.

Problem 2: Too many penises not being touched.

PROBLEM SOLVED!

[Grothfogtheviolent1]

@Sappheyes BRILLIANT!!!! :D

[narutokage777]

@Sappheyes and then, touch him on the penis!

[Archangel499]

Problem 1: 31 people disliking this video

Problem 2: Massive need for medical test subjects

Problem Solved!

[chinesemonk]

Incidentally sex ed. as taught by a random sex offender would have saved me a good deal of confusion. I'm sure he (or possibly she, maybe) would have some helpful legal tips as well.

[Gaschowin]

Problem 1: Dissatisfaction with repetitive assembly line jobs.

Problem 2: Rampant WoW addiction.

PROBLEM SOLVED!

[1nsanit]

30 people don't have any ability to solve problems

[TGGeko]

I love how he says "You can't harvest baby organs!"

[blaisems]

Problem 1: old ladies' corpse in living room

Problem 2: lack of wigs for SMBC Theatre skit

PROBLEM SOLVED!!!

[RedlefB]

Is it me or does she have a mustache?

[Grug16]

"Did you win a plurality of the Electoral College?

Bitch."

[Gigavore]

umm... just wondering... why is JP missing all his fingers on one hand... and why has no one noticed?

[jarowilson]

@Gigavore people have noticed. no one else wanted to be the asshole who brings it up in every video hes in...

[Kogerii]

Baby organs wouldn't even help an adult.

"Liver failed from drinking? Here's a tiny, half-developed one".

[Fayanora]

@Kogerii Well obviously you feed the illegal immigrants to the babies, fatten them up until they're ready to be harvested. PROBLEM SOLVED!

[plejeune1]

@Fayanora Modest Proposal reference FTW!

[demonzr2007]

Oh, that wacky James and his 'hunting accidents'. This is set in the future, so we can assume he's got quite a tally by this point.

[irishtrash15]

problem 1: too many twilight fans

problem 2: shortage of meat at the butcher's

PROBLEM SOLVED!!

[77ikill]

solve four problembs before lunch,then touch him on the penis.

[botchalism]

"You can't harvest baby organs"

Why not? That sounds like a Modest Proposal!

[BJCResource]

@botchalism haha

[Redlehk]

@botchalism Because they're too small of course. See, he didn't think it through.

[HeroicDolphin]

Problem: People saying 'touch him on the penis' in the comments

Problem: Not enough targets at shooting ranges.

PROBLEM SOLVED!

[Claubuza]

All right, this one was great. XD

[SirTmTerry]

Problem 1:SMBC THEATER not getting enough subs

Problem 2:SMBC Theater Is funny

PROBELM SOLVED!

[Willwillwritehiswill]

As if James Ashby is going to have *ANY* hair in 2032.

[ZachBora]

Problem 1 : I just shot my vide-president.

Problem 2 : My hot girlfriend has no job.

PROBLEM SOLVED!

[Mekose]

Hilarious video.

[SexAppeal169]

You will love GOOD LOOKING LIARS TV

[VannahWilson]

LOL!!!!! Omfg, lol.

Someone linked to this on fstdt.com…thank you, so funny…

[GuntherRommel]

You are gods, not men. (Of Comedy)

[RobotTickleFight]

they got some real horse-cocks of problems there

[TheMinxTail]

Problem 1: These videos need more views.

Problem 2: I need toe be entertained.

PROBLEM SOLVED!

This needs a follow up where he has to explain why he shot one of his aides the day he took office.

Problem 1: I'm in trouble.

Problem 2: ?

PROBLEM SOLVED!

[Gight77]

how the hell do you say %?

[ratholin]

@Gight77 it's pronounced percentage.

[Gight77]

@ratholin sorry, had a stupid moment there

[ratholin]

@Gight77 no worries, we all have them.

[valkyrio]

You people are wearing out "touch him on the penis." :[

[BJCResource]

@valkyrio Wear out a timeless joke, then touch him on the penis.

[PhatHyppie65]

Hey This is Phatt Hyppie and i want to say thats a mighty fine video you got there!!

[lawerencerowe]

@PhatHyppie65 Im pretty sure you dont need to announce who you are in your comment... your name says it all.

[DeusExInfernus]

You know just the fact that this is probably closer to the truth of their "problem-solving than anyone would like to admit makes this vid slightly scary... 'fun', but scary...

[Mattmoo36]

1. Too many lazy virgins.

2. Too many sluts destroying America's reputation.

PROBLEM SOLVED =D (jp)

[ToxicMoonFlower]

Nice! This is definitely one of the best.

[KAYTHXBY]

Excellent, as usual.

[RealMissSammyCysso]

I think PROBLEM SOLVED! is going to become the next 'touch him on the penis'. or maybe it'll become its sidekick.

[AHB43]

@duo1666 Can anyone really say they work hard for their money on Youtube? seriously...

[ciran042]

This was a load of horsecock. I was bored. Problem solved!

[Aikinoodles]

1. Too much homeless people.

2. New source of cheap food needed.

PROBLEM SOLVED

[lbr218]

@Aikinoodles thank you, jonathan swift.

[KeanuIIDAMAN]

Being elected is all about the hair

[ehayes3791]

i'm ashamed to have participated in this "touch him on the penis" craze. soon enough it'll become like the twilight craze...little girls and their mothers going around saying "touch him on the penis" oh the horror!

[ZennXPaladin]

@ehayes3791 Problem solved?

[sulfuricSHAME]

@ehayes3791 I highly doubt that.

[ExecWarlock]

Man you sure mumble alot... but funny vid anyway :D

[GETyourFUNDSin30DAYS]

LOOOOL

BITCH???????

LOOOOL

[duo1666]

sad part is.... id vote for him over obama <.<

[laryon]

@duo1666 so what you want a cookie

[duo1666]

@laryon no, i want my country back. im not some fucking communist nutcase. i work for my money, tell the homeless to do the same or starve. theyll gt off our welfare right quick and do a job, and actually benefit society

[laryon]

@duo1666 back from who ? and you tell them fag.

and thanks for your hard work sucker...........

[Lugnal]

Morality aside, those solutions are quite practical.

[salvo711]

Meh, not one of the greatest videos.

The only thing I found really funny was that wig. Hahaha.

[Tuxlar]

Ah!  Practical solutions!

[Totema1]

What does James say problem 8 is?

[gaboleon]

sigh... "solve problem, touch him on the horsecock", I guess.

[Rascus75]

Touch him on the penis, problem solved.

[doctorrobert]

You're really getting a lot of use out of that one prop gun.

[Choo69]

yay, this is a good one

[Arcadius15]

Pure genius. SMBC rocks.

[ironspidey0]

Win a plurality of the electoral college, touch him on the penis.

[triftenC]

@ironspidey0 Only if you win a horsecock of the electoral college, right?

[JosephCheetah]

You guys did a good job with this one. The rythm was spot ON!

[saccadecom]

Classic student film - Everything ends with a murder (or suicide). You can do better. "Lie Detector" was fantastic writing.

[JohhnyMayhem]

SMBC is funny again, touch him on the penis.

[EuropaSenshi]

Aaah that was awesome.  More awesome than your usual awesome. *^^*

[TPR001]

please don't use the blurry backgrounds.

Your videos are hilarious, but I can't focus on this one for some reason. x.x

[evilbobthebob]

Lose the in video adverts guys.

[Draugo]

1. Man suffering from blue balls.

2. Touch him on the penis.

PROBLEM SOLVED

[weipu93]

Problem 1: Iraqis have oil.

Problem 2: Americans are always ready to kill for wealth.

PROBLEM SOLVED!

[JasonWhirlybird]

@weipu93

Problem 1: youre just some lonely computer nerd who sits in the dark all day insulting people over the internet.

Problem 2 youll will never make it out of your mothers flat and have friends or kids. PROBLEM SOLVED

[Arcadius15]

@weipu93 How ironic coming from a brit.

[NeoTechni]

@weipu93 dont be a douche. Thats not why they went to war and you know it

[Mrlzman]

Problem 1: Too many bad wigs not being used.

Problem 2: Not enough Joe-Don Baker impersonations.

PROBLEM SOLVED!

[part2themovie]

@Mrlzman Problem 0

[Applemask]

@Mrlzman I would vote for Joe Don Baker. With glee.

[NAWTPROF]

There is a rise in teenage pregnancy... because you're all too busy touching guys on the penis.

[thedealer456]

Problems:

1. Gas prices rising during the summer

2. Massive oil spill in the gulf...

PROBLEM SOLVED!

[marsharse]

funniest yet actually spat my dinner on my keyboard from laughing at the ending

[HouseFantastic]

I want Ashby to solve my problems.

[GeneralZaroff]

Better than the last couple videos

[Elephantintheroom01]

I like his attitude.

[Zombiebushi]

I can't wait until I vote for James Ashby.

[DanTheeMan]

Touch him on the penis, problem solved.

[JackSpades64]

@DanTheeMan I love the way you solve problems

[TranquilVision]

This was great. =)

[jerwahjwcc]

Problem: Not enough Videos from SMBC Theater.

Problem: People don't click the Subscribe Button.

Problem Solved.

[Grug16]

Solve a problem, then touch him on the penis.

[FacelessDeviant]

AND THEN BAAAM!

[WordoftheElderGods]

Probably a Tea Party candidate.

[unkaodya]

i`d vote for him.

[thedealer456]

haha best sketch in a while imo

[holycow818181]

Is that a Bea Arthur wig?

[imeanpeace2]

oh gosh enough with the "touch him on the penis" none of them are even funny -.-

[WordoftheElderGods]

@imeanpeace2 Stop saying "touch him on the penis", then touch him on the penis!

[TheInquisitiveMug]

Solve problems, touch him on the penis.

[RyanH181]

Problem: Lack of penis touching

Solution: Touch him on the penis PROBLEM SOLVED!

[TheMortalOne]

Well then. This skit was absolutely fantastic. Baby organ harvesting, you guys are awesome.

[Hum0ng0us]

Problem: World Leaders don't have the balls to make concrete decisions to solve problems.

Problem Solved: This President acts like a Horse Cock!

[pgunn01]

Lesson: Make yourself into a problem, and you may get "solved".

[Emiteal]

Ha! That was a good one, guys!

[Raxerm]

I love these sketches <3

[JhericFury]

I have noticed a definite increase in people getting shot/attacked lately. Something bothering you Mr. Weiner?  lol, awesome vid.

[mudwire1]

@JhericFury Obviously, the gun wanted more cameos.

[SuperCrakker]

The solution: Touch him on the penis, end his problems.

[valeriereified]

@SuperCrakker *facepalm* Hilarious, hilarous, facepalm.

[thefunkof30000years]

Who wouldn't vote for a guy with a gray afro?

[waaazaaa1996]

U AINT GOT NO PANCAKE MIX!!!!!!

[ninodoko]

touch him on the penis. Problem solved.

[Mizzkyttie]

I'd vote for him.

[MarkArandjus]

I need a chuckle, SMBC made a new video, PRO'LEM SAAAWED!

[BlueNight134]

Incredible job, guys, pairing it all up like that.

[griffball13]

james ashby for president

[lagerbaer]

This is far less weird than the Texas Republican platform :-P

[soxyc]

Didn't we just get rid of that redneck...?

[bsleffel]

Awesome, as usual.

[peanutfoot]

HEY GUYS! TOUCH HIM ON THE PENIS!

GET IT? THAT WAS IN AN EARLIER VIDEO!

THIS MAKES ME FUNNY, RIGHT?

[BJCResource]

@peanutfoot NOPE! YOUR CAPS LOCK DOES!

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

[DarkSteele]

I recognize that gun.

[Yesnomu]

I especially like JP's confusion about the Chinese/nukes issue. "You mean selling nuclear arms or bombing...?" Either one is just so horrible to even consider!

[4rcit4]

JP can look really really cute sometimes. :3

[GoingViral]

Problem 1: Your man has a penis

Problem 2: You have a hand

Touch him on the penis, problem solved.

[Norrec87]

I would vote for this guy.

[caveman73]

Problem fucking solved! Say IT!

Great and funny video guys.

[ScyneDxP]

Find a problem, and then touch him on the penis. PROBLEM SOLVED!