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From: ROCKNROLLDOL
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  • I managed 3 weeks without binging or purging then yesterday BOOOM!! I have binged twice since yesterday and purged up lunch and dinner today its not fair i was doing so well :( I have to into therapy next week cos of my self harming and i really dont want a therapist to know about my bulimia as well :( :(

  • My binges hit hard today. I hate this so much! I also think each day I get up that *today* will be different. I won't eat so much. But that feeling soon goes away. I know my binge eating is because of loneliness. Then I feel sick to my stomach after I eat and I want to make myself sick. I am well into my 40's and I have been like this since I was a teenager. Sometimes I think that's what it is....I'm afraid of changing. Afraid of losing "control". Afraid of changing my life. *afraid & lonely*

  • what is the song called ?

  • Mine is back again:(

  • Today I want to stop.

  • it takes everything i have not to go to the toilet. i can't stop eating.

  • When I was bulimic,I would eat upwards of 15,000 calories a day.

    I would purge exactly 70 times a daily,and consumed over 26 laxatives daily.

    After my bulimia fizzled out,without therapy,I developed anorexia.

    The past 5 years have been consumed with this obsession to be tiny.

    I lost friends,family members,boyfriends,my health and almost everything,to this obsession.

    I'm still struggling with Severe Anorexia,but I have the hope that one day I'll be thin enough.

  • For me, the day would go, all fruit breakfast, all vegetable lunch. Not going to eat. Not going to eat. And then *EXPLOSION* Friggin' package of cookies or *oh no* cereal and soymilk. That or hundreds of calories of peanut butter I couldn't resist.

  • I'm writing a magazine feature about bulimia, would anybody be interested in telling me their personal experiences for my story?

    Thanks

  • @TheDecathinator I would be interested to tell you my story. Message me back if you'd like to hear.

  • @TheDecathinator Yes. I finally want to stop. Coming clean may be just the thing I need

  • today i ate 3 waffles, a pot pie, a crispy cream donught, a chocolate muffin, a hersheys bar, and 2 bowls of ice cream.....today i threw up 7 times

  • @sometimesiwonder13 you are sad. You need some good help. YOU ARE FINE!

  • This made me cry... I had a slight eating disorder a few years back but I got over it. I hope all you guys who suffer from this disease find the strength and stop

    !

  • @kewigirl I hope you never go back to it. The maximum I have got myself together was 3 or so moths when I was living with my long distance fiance. As soon as I got back - BUM!!! Same old, same old ...

  • its true... i used to suffer with it very very badly... i would throw up everything i ate making sure that up to the last thing i ate came out.... then i would drink a whole lot of coffee as it apparently makes you skinny... but it is all in the mind... i got through it on my own without telling anyone... because one day i got soooo fed up with... myself...

    and now i dont even think about what i eat as long as it is in proportion... you have to have control and strength to get over it....

  • what song is this?

  • I am Bulimic and anorexic.. I started a couple days ago... I eat as little as possible then at the end of the day when everyone is alseep I binge for a hour then purge for a half hour because I am not used to it.. I am 117 pounds... :'( I feel so ugly... Well I am now going to stick my toothbrush down my throat and see what I can get out..

  • I have the misfortune of being able to purge without putting anything in my throat so its not that unpleasent.

    Ive been doing it for 15yrs[31]

    I do it through uncontrolable greed, [binging]

    then, so i can control at least one part of my life, I purge.

    still, life is good realy, so chill, and wait for the episode to pass.

  • i binge on the worst food ever.. if u can call it that, tubs of frosting but it comes up easy enough.. still i wish i wouldnt do it.

  • It is possible to die as a result of a binge. I read about a girl who died of a ruptured stomach - she had eaten about 4lbs of coleslaw.

  • Last night I had my first sort of binge in a long while. I ate like 1/4 a bag of chips, 6/10 pieces of a chocolate bar and a brownie. But I didnt purge because I had just perged before that my fetuccini alfredo and I was really tired...I need a wrist band or something that says "dont binge dont purge" or something. My main problem isnt during the day. I eat rather normally during the day but at night is what gets me...I tend to eat something bad and throw up. Im so tired of throwing up.

  • I do this thing where I don't eat much.. At All.. But when ANYTHING, goes in my mouth, a cracker, I go and puke .

    But.. do you have any idea how shitty it feels when your body just won't vomit anymore ?

    I started crying .

  • Omg you guys have bulimia? I feel SO bad for you! :'(

  • @bryane5 you probably don't have a gastric reflex in the back of your throat. (that helps you puke)

  • Everyone commenting on this sob story of a video, shut the fuck up LMFAO. seriously..bulimia nervosa isn't as big as you guys think it is, I've learned to live with the disorder since I was 14, im 22 now, do the math kids. It's not curable, no matter what you think it wont go away. For the people commenting on your methods of purging? really? shut the fuck up, no one cares if you use 1-4 fingers/thootbrush.

  • @mykemphetamine i think YOU need to shut up. Maybe for u bulimia is fine but for the rest of us its TORTURE. were suffering. u dnt need to b a bitch and b negative when all were looking for is guidence and someone who is going through the same thing.

  • @hellomonkeyish

    hey! go back to school buddy, your spelling and grammar could use some work. I think your purging is causing brain damage, you spell like a moron. good day ma'am.

  • @mykemphetamine its called txt tlk smart ass

  • @hellomonkeyish

    No, it's called being a dumb ass. good fight son, now you're an idiot, and a bad liar. what's wrong with you?. You have an eating disorder, and you're a pathological liar who makes excuses up for her horrible habits. you do need help son, go to the hospital right now.

  • @mykemphetamine how am i lying???? i dnt need help. y the hell would i go to the hospital.

  • what's the name of the song?

  • I use one finger, and drink a shit load of water!

  • @FashioniHaveSinned ohkay for me, water just makes it all go further down my stomach and then i dnt puke as much --_____________--

  • I am so sorry sweetheart.

    I have been bulimic now for almost 4 years and I wish I could simply go back in time and change it all. I know where you're at.

    We all need help.

    But it takes the stronger side of us to actually go get it.

    Our lives would be so much better without the daily...hourly suffering.

    We would have friends and family and love again.

    We just need to ask for it and speak up and not be afraid anymore.

  • I cant puke no matter how many fingers i use.! Help.?

    (inbox]

  • THANKS TO BULEMIA? thats a bunch of bullshit.. you have put yourself down a hard road and you will soon realize this is not the way life should be

  • @yooitsdaniellex3 You do realize it's a mental thing right? It's not like we just want to ruin our lives and eat everything in sight. How would you understand unless you've been through it?

  • @SomethingInTheWay95 exactly 

  • @yooitsdaniellex3 you obviously dont have this mental disorder. you have no idea what its like.

  • @yooitsdaniellex3 wat the fuc...you dont understand this disorder_bulimia is addictive and it takes more to recover then some moron saying 'you have put yourself down a hard road...this is not the way life should be' of coarse its not the way life should be and every ed sufferer knows tha but theres more to it

  • Uhm after 2hours of eating your stomach will have started digesting the food. And I and most other sufferers always start with something brightly coloured so that I know when I bring up the bright colour, everything is gone.

  • @ScrapingAwayTheSkin People who have struggled for very long have come to realize that food mixes quite a bit in your stomach. After 13 years of bulimia, I can honestly say that food very rarely reliably comes up in the opposite order that it went down... If it were so easy as to eat something bright first so you knew when the calories were up...

  • @kolpin0714 It depends on how fast you eat. And if you eat a lot of a bright colour when the majority of it comes up you know your pretty much empty.

  • @ScrapingAwayTheSkin People who have struggled for very long have come to realize that food mixes quite a bit in your stomach. After 13 years of bulimia, I can honestly say that food very rarely reliably comes up in the opposite order that it went down... If it were so easy as to eat something bright first so you knew when the calories were up...

  • HELP! i wanna like myself!

  • i have the same problem...its so bad.

    always the same. i start the day tinking "today you'll be a good girl, you will eat like a normal person and be happy" and than i start eating one bowl of flakes. fine. that would be compleatly fine. but i want more. so i have a second one...and a third one...and than i cant stop and i start eating everything i can find -.-

    i just cant describe how good food taste and how much i hate the feeling og food in my stomach...horrible.

  • I wasn`t yet half through the video and I already felt like I was going to be sick

  • I have it too... I feel so lost, so alone. I don't know what to do, i just ate alot! But Instead of being out and throw up, I sit here. I hurt so fucking bad..... I have been so good for 3 days......

    I'm sorry for my bad english..

  • My goal is to help others with eating disorders and to let them know they are not alone. I want to show my my life for those who are curious to understand how someone with an eating disorder lives their life. I offer support and courage. I am not a trained professional, just another human being caught in the vicious cycle of an eating disorder. If anyone is interested check out my channel.

  • not all bulimics binge. some eat like normal people! but did you know that when you purge you only lose about half of the calories? thats why you still gain weightt i really hope you get better <3

  • not all bulimics binge. some eat like normal people! but did you know that when you purge you only lose about half of the calories? thats why you still gain weightt

  • Erm, I'm looking for a mia buddy so if you are too then inbox me. <3

  • That's sad , it's weird I think of myself as bulimic but I don't really binge at least not that much but i overeat and I purge sometimes, though I haven't in a month. Though I'm fat so I must be doing something wrong and eating to much. I used to be Anorexic but then I got fat it's horrible. Purging doesn't work it just makes you fat anyways, but I can't seem to restrict like I used too.

  • oh god i hope anyone bulimic or anorexic realises how dangerous this is </3

  • My life in a nutshell.

  • @bulimicalbino I HEAR that! I suffered from this right after my last baby(24yrs ago) was about 2mon old. I saw a woman on TV talking about it, and decided to "try it" to lose my "baby weight". At first it was just dinner, then it eventually snowballed into a constant "binging and purging". I also began over-exercising. I did this for over four years; until counseling revealed it was really all about CONTROL. The HARDEST part of "recovery" was the weight gain.....my body's' means of protection.

  • I Understand How Yu Feel, Im Bulimic Too.

    However, Yu Shuld Get Help. Yu Dnt Want To Hurt Yurself The Way I Have

  • OH my god I could not watch this. I started shaking and getting so nervous. I cannot look at food. I almost started crying.

  • I am nearly 17, I feel ya. I am trying so hard. soe times I think "i didn't purge today, so i 'm getting better" ....then the next day i do twice as much..

  • Ive lived with bulimia for 4 yrs Im 26 y/o now I dropped down to a size 3 I use 2 be a size 18 but I was on prozac & that made me not have a appetite. When I eat like large amounts of food ex: burger,fries,nuggets Ive got 2 throw it up if not I get a crazy pain in my stomach that wont go away, Eating disorders DONT SEE AGE,SEX,RACE, Im a Afr. Am woman & Ive got a E.D. 4 me its like part of my life , like waking up bathing and brushing my teeth.

  • Ive lived with bulimia for 4 yrs Im 26 y/o now I dropped down to a size 3 I use 2 be a size 18 but I was on prozac & that made me not have a appetite. When I eat like large amounts of food ex: burger,fries,nuggets Ive got 2 throw it up if not I get a crazy pain in my stomach that wont go away, Eating disorders DONT SEE AGE,SEX,RACE, Im a Afr. Am woman & Ive got a E.D. 4 me its like part of my life , like waking up bathing and brushing my teeth.

  • Ive lived with bulimia for 4 yrs Im 26 y/o now I dropped down to a size 3 I use 2 be a size 18 but I was on prozac & that made me not have a appetite. When I eat like large amounts of food ex: burger,fries,nuggets Ive got 2 throw it up if not I get a crazy pain in my stomach that wont go away, Eating disorders DONT SEE AGE,SEX,RACE, Im a Afr. Am woman & Ive got a E.D. 4 me its like part of my life , like waking up bathing and brushing my teeth, trying to starve myself is very hard when I purge

  • what i am doing...?

    eating a very small amount of healthy food and then throwing up.

  • Hey I usually eat the same things in the same order every time I have 3 large mixing bowls

    1. 1large bag doritos, 6bags of salt and vinegar mc coys, I big bag grated cheese

    2. I bag smash, 3 sausages, 3 fish fingers, 3 chicken keivs, 1 bag of onion rings

    3. 1 tub of ice-cream, 6 mini rolls, I pinnate of strawberries, 1 jar of fluff, pot of cream, 1pack of chic digestives

    I mash each individual bowl up ( less chewing less time waste) and drink 1-2 large bottles of diet coke

    Never changes EVER

  • when I was preggo I consume that much. No joke. Didn't puke or anything. Suprisingly I only gained 30 pounds.

  • what song is this?

  • Whoa, WTF.

    i can't believe you can throw up, all of that food.

    it's aloooooooot.

    hopefully, you didn't lose any weight by doing that right?

  • Reading that list of food made me wanna puke.

  • Glad you came out of this alive. This 'binge' seems very small to me, since mine usually consist of around 20 pounds of food a day, if not more. I don;t see myself coming through this. Happy that you have so far though. Keep up the hard work :) Hugs from a person who understands the devastation of this disorder :(

  • @graceannjohnson1 omg!!! if your stomache hasn't ruptured yet, it will and it's a very painfull death! just being bruttaly honest! because i care.

  • I seriously just burst out crying. this song the images the thoughts....I hate bulimia!!!!!!!!!

  • @cutebutterfly09 then get rid of it and go into recovery and be free sweetie

  • im seriously considering purging,

    i dont know what to do because i hate my body but i cant stop eating

    i dont have the willpower to stop, and i do workout

    i play sports

    and i dont really know what to do

  • @benafun11 dont do it, please go into counseling and work this out

  • @benafun11 keep working out, keep playing sports thats it, im sure your beautiful

  • I'm not being mean but you shouldn't really do that because my friend was a suffera and she had a heart atack.:(

  • the only time i throw up is when i've had one too many vodka crans.

    but i wish you ladies the best...i really do

  • @cicisway i don't think this is a joke hunny!

  • @cutebutterfly09i was being very serious. you know how sick i felt after i had those vodka crans? i couldn't drink vodka for months!

  • @cicisway thank you.

  • @deabrat bwhahahahahaha!!!!!

  • Couldn't you guys just cut yourselves instead? I mean, ppl are starving and dying in other countries and you're wasting precious foodstuffs. I say to thee.... TURN IT INTO POOP!!!!!! =D K thnx bye!

  • For the first time I don't feel so alienated in my mirrored behaviour- thanks. How did you do it, the recovery process I mean?

  • I only binge once every few days. The rest of the time, I'm in purging mode which includes diuretics and restricting calories. It's about control...and the stuff in my head. It tells me I'm taking up too much space (and I believe I can actually feel this). It's about what I've put into my body and how long I can expect it to be there. It's about the colon cleanses and laxatives. For me, it's counting carbs, and less than 10 a day keeps me on the losing side. It's about never stopping.

  • @GoddessFourWinds just for your information the average person burns about 1300 calories each day and that is by sleeping and laying down, if you sit up or do homework or even walk you will burn much more, so i eat over 1000 calories a day and i still am negative 300, im still loosing weight only i am happy and healthy, if you are going to do those horrible things to your body thats your choice dont be posting bulemia tips on videos, thats sick that you would encourage someone to be bulemic

  • @marleexo I would never encourage anyone to be bulimic. I was only telling my story. Not once did I say, HERE ARE A FEW TIPS or DO WHAT I DO. I was only sharing what this is like FOR ME.

  • I cant stickmmy toothbrush into my throat! I like my three fingers.

  • @17babybug  its easier to use ur fingers.

  • @17babybug sometimes when i do it, it cannot come out. i wanna know why is that? i use 3 fingers.

  • Well sometimes us hard to vomit because you gag reflex gets weak over the time, and it also depend on the food you eat some food are impossible to eat!

  • I meant to say some food are impossible to vomit.

  • @17babybug you know where your 3 fingers should be? around a good book, in a friends hand, even on an xbox controller, anywhere but your mouth, you are beautiful you are only hurting yourself and believe it or not it is possible to stay skinny without purging, only with the natural ways you will have glowing skin and lots of energy and feel happy! good luck, your loved

  • @17babybug Me too it feels much better with 3 fingers

  • @17babybug 3 is my lucky number after i realized thats the number of fingers i use to purge :)

  • I have bulimia you don´t need to eat so mutch on a ordinary day!

  • u ate all this in one day shit!

  • Im sorry for your pain, please pray . And read the Bible it will comfort you. I will be praying for you.

  • Im so sorry :(

  • im in recovery from bulimia... this almost made me cry. its such an awful diease. all the best to you. xx

  • i feel soo much sympathy for you... i now how you feel like...

  • im 14 and ive become bulimic... in the last month...:( i know im headed down a wrong direction but i cant stop myself.

  • ick... biscuits sipped in BUTTER? That wouldnt taste very good...

  • @elibeth121 i tried but it says you have to add me as a friend first so message me im still trpped in this thing

  • what song is this?

    xx

  • @BettyHolmes11 write me

  • Have you done Restaurant HOPPING like "bar hopping?" I did plenty of that. but cost too much SHIT I could've bought a small Island!

  • When I saw the food I was nearly sick and I still feel sick... 2 weeks ago was the 1st time I cramed a toothbrush down my throut and I went on YouTube to see what I have put myself in to so when i saw all the food all I remember is looking in the toilet and finding the food a bit disfigured...

  • Thats alotta food :000000 is she serious.?

  • does being bulimic make you skinnier?

  • whats this song called ? its good to know that your not bulimic anmore =)

  • Comment removed

  • hello, i am struggling with sum food problems, just had an episode. so got on utube to look for others who wud feel the same.

  • it's a battle you have to fight everyday.I'm glad you choose not to hold on to this illness.i'm fighting it too,so it gaves me hope

  • @MicaelaLelli

    me too...i did the same as her today, i only ate diff things...

    and i was so angry with myself, for doing this stupid thing :(

  • @taniuta1995. why do you eat the food then in the first place?

    (sorry. i am not trying to be rude or ANYTHING like that. i am just confused).

  • @Booklvr777

    its hard to explain, remember that its also a psychological disease...

    and after not eating a whole day, im just starving, and all the crap that has happend to me the past few years, it all comes together in this hole of lonelyness, and need to fill that up with food... but i must get it out,

    bcos after that i feel guilty. thats how it goes :(

  • @Booklvr777 may b it's hard to understad when it doesn't happen to you.if we could stop it,just by wishing,we would.the truth is that u may pass by a time where u get not to eat,or you seem to eat healthy,you may loose or gain weight, but in the end if you don't find the bottom of the problem,deep inside your mind,you'll never get over it. as any other addiction,EDs are a hell

  • this is soo triggering... even watching this and imagining to eat all that made me gag, and still i want something now now now...

  • damn this video is very triggering

  • I'm so happy that I have a fast metabolism.

    But that doesn't mean I don't exercise and eat healthy.

    I'm probably the most health conscious one in my class. I go jogging everyday and I'm a pesco-ovo-vegetarian. C:

  • hey i am struggling with this and feel so trapped can anyone offer me any advice on how to feel better

  • @daddywhym

    if you want to talk, you can have my msn if you have it.

    i also struggle with bulimia, i also need to talk :(

    but we might have a prob with diff time zones...

    x hope i helped

  • @daddywhym

    i've been in different kinds of treatments,not all of them helped me. about a year I started one were i've found some answers. I wont say I'm fine,but I'M BETTER, little by little I started to see some hope.anytime you need to talk,I'm here,just let me know. xxx

  • @daddywhym write me

  • This is so sad I know how you feel/felt

    I hope you're okay now xx

  • Good on you girl...... thanks for posting . You will help many.

  • ya and then ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING you can get your discusting hands on...i repulse myself in every step i take in a day...i hate it so much i hate my life this is theworst...3 and hlaf years of puking? are you kidding me!! icant believe i let myself do this...WTF

  • you eat so much at one time and then throws it up.

    whats the point of eating then?

    that wont do any difference

    you need to get help asap.

    get well ! i know how you feeel and i went through all that crap too and i realize that

    its not whats on the outside thats beautiful its whats in the inside of you that what makes you beautiful.

    hope this will help you alot.

  • that is the most dangerous way i am bulimic too i just eat and puke eat again and puke again because your tummy can only hold 80 oz and it can rupture and you can die. i am not saying do it in intermissions i wish i never tried it at all it takes control like a drug but instead of feeling high it makes you feel low so low you begin to hate your self. please never eat this amount of food and only puke once at leat puke after eating 3 portions it can be deadly. the honesty is helping thank you

  • This video made me cry. I suffered from bulimia for a long time and still do, just not as much. I understand every word you wrote. I understand every feeling on here. You know i never thought i could ever suffer from anything like this, and i didnt know what i was doing for all these years and now i understand. But i still cant shake it.

  • wow 1-2 hours .. geezz.. must be horrible

  • keep fighting!

  • @ROCKNROLLDOL I am so proud that you aren't Bulimic anymore :D I love you for that ! (Not in that creepy stalker way)

  • you are so strong to post this.. :( brought tears in my eyes

  • Hey Guys its me the Person who made this Video .. oha im really sad if im looking at my past :(( im happy that im not anymore Bulimic i didnt purge for 7 Months and im so proud i live a "normal" life sure i have down moments in which i feel really sad and unhappy :( but thats life nothing will be ever perfect... right now i am on a normal diet...

  • @ROCKNROLLDOL I'm so glad that you're doing better! :)

  • @ROCKNROLLDOL did you gain a lot of weight after doing a therapy? I'm so scared to become fat!

  • @ROCKNROLLDOL  lucky you

  • @ROCKNROLLDOL Luck you

  • @ROCKNROLLDOL well done you :-)

  • @ROCKNROLLDOL i am proud of you. congratulations :)

  • @ROCKNROLLDOL

    You should be very proud of yourself. It takes real courage and determination to overcome something like this.

  • @cristelcrow if ur so sick of theese vids then us u look it up???!! I'm so sick of all u ppl looking up theese kind of bids and fomenting on how much u hate them and how there soo sick when u urself looked them up so from now on u need to get a life and STOP rudely comenting on vids u don't want 2 c cause it's ur fault!!!!!

  • @christelcrow ahhh.....you said it mam. does this make us trolls???

  • Great Video!Thanks for posting Bulimia is such a hard battle to fight

  • How are you doing lately? Your bulimia under control or are you still in this cycle? I know what it's like.

  • @myartisfashion

    Heyyy thanks for asking im not anymore Bulimic for 7 Months ..  im so happy

  • @ROCKNROLLDOL so your not bulimic anymore, let me translate. they made you fat.

  • Bulimia is such a horrible thing. I wish it would go away, but i can't seem to let it go

  • i hate this!i need anybody to talk to. if anybody wants to talk,message me.

  • sad im crying for u, i really hope u get help sweetie=...(

  • To people who are writing negative comments on this video -

    You wouldn't understand just how hard it is having an eating disorder of this kind! you CANT just STOP IT!!! You are so ignorant, Don't bother watching these videos if you have bad things to say, and if you DONT UNDERSTAND bulemia! To you it may be stupid, or greediness but it's not! So grow up. And stop being such assholes!!!

  • u could just not eat so fricken much, then u wouldnt have to throw it up

    and holy crap that amount of food could last me a week or more and u ate it all in like 2 hours just to throw it up. thats insane.

  • Why eat if you are going to vomit everything

  • good bye bulimia, welcome diabetes  :-s

  • Comment removed

  • and don't you know how fat she would be if she were to pig out like that all the time and didn't throw up. both things need to go away for you to be recovered, the pigging out as well as the vomiting. they're both absolutely disgusting. But the pigging out is more repulsive to me. Which is why as gross as it may be puking is actually comforting to me.

  • For me it used to be 30 minutes of binging and 30 minutes purging. Now its 2 hours binging and 30 minutes purging.

  • eat healthy much

  • I hate purging so much that I just heavily restrict what i can and can't eat because if i eat even a fraction too much then I have this horrible sinking feeling in my stomach and i need to purge just to make it ok again. I wish i had the courage to get help.

  • i've so sry about you. i feel the same way. i eat and then i go to toilet and.... it's disgusting. i hate food. i hate my body. it's just...

  • Bulimia is a very common eating disorder that affects many people I wish you the best and hope that you can somehow find relief and recover. Good luck.

  • Omg I love your video, so true.. :(

    I did a video too but it's me acting in it, if you want to take a look, it'll be appreciate :)...

    Good luck to everyone who has ED :(

  • oh...

    thats really much what you ate...

    but i know it....

    extrem tailspin..