FDA Official: "Just Eat A Goddamn Vegetable"

[DEATHBYFLYINGCDS]

I would definitely support the FDA more if they put out stuff like this.

[adamwhart2011]

I wish I could. But the FDA said I would go to jail because I grew it myself and they didn't inspect and approve it. lol.

[stlkngyomom]

2 years ago ketchup almost became a vegetable in the U.S.

You had your chance FDA and you BLEW IT !!!

Next time listen to the industry and the consumer,not some NAZI PARENTS and HEALTH TERRORISTS!!!

I could have been highly overweight,instead of morbidly obese.Shame on you FDA!!!SHAME!!!

[0Heavy0Metal0]

My favorite vegetable is the Onion!

[DaFleegsta]

omg this awesome

[TheReVoLuTiiOnZz]

I can't stop clicking on related videos god damn it

[burtontoker]

he never actually said "just eat a goddamn vegetable."

[Kleavers]

@burtontoker

He probably said that before the part they showed :D

[LordKaisen]

@burtontoker media spin

[outerheaven313]

Hoyer 2016

[iheartaftereffects]

wait im confused now is this channel really official news stuff or is it just comedy

[NubRusty]

@iheartaftereffects Is the onion news real? Obviously it is. What do you watch normally? CNN and FOX? el oh el

[iheartaftereffects]

@NubRusty i dont watch the news. i get all my news from reading youtube comments

[dontreadmyusername0]

@iheartaftereffects do you really think this is real? Please use your brain a little, it wont hurt.

[iheartaftereffects]

@dontreadmyusername0 i use my brain plenty and please do mind your own business. it LOOKS official enough, alright? just look at all their intros. and next time, keep your comments to yourself.

[dontreadmyusername0]

@iheartaftereffects Idiot idiot idiotttttttttt

[iheartaftereffects]

@dontreadmyusername0 racist D:

[iheartaftereffects]

@dontreadmyusername0 and if you actually thought i was thinking that this was real, please use your brain a little. it wont hurt. get a damn joke, dude.

[phdan123]

@iheartaftereffects its getting harder and harder to tell

[iheartaftereffects]

@phdan123 IKR?!

[phdan123]

@iheartaftereffects lol what? I'm just saying the onion is satire, but moving closer and closer to real news. Actually news networks are getting closer and closer to the onion

[iheartaftereffects]

@phdan123 whoaaaaa u deserve a cookie, man. well said.

[phdan123]

@iheartaftereffects why thank you. I actually am a little hungry, I think I'll go get one

[TheSolitaryTraveller]

If i ever get into Office i will so do this, because it must be done.

[bluemoon455]

And the FDA reports the launch of its "Try Not to Melt Cheese on Everything, You Fucking Pig" public health initiative.

[UberCookieboy]

If only doctors could say this without getting fired

[thecapone45]

115 are shoving hotdogs in their mouths.

[ScreamingAtOwls]

That's a fucking sweet touch-screen television. More news channels would have one if my opinion even mattered to them, the uncaring fucks.

[ScreamingAtOwls]

Are chips vegetables? In Scotland, Ketchup apparently is.

[riverotears1971]

lmao

[tet1963]

pizza cannot be grown therefore IT IS NOT A F******G VEGETABLE GET IT!!!??

[StoneTemp1Pilot]

This is how i feel. why can't this be real?

[TheHONKYLIPS]

i 100% agree with you but meat should only be 10 mto 20% of your diets greens=long life peace to you bro

[HoserSaysWhat]

Does it count if I eat The Onion?

[bigbeeftomatoes]

fda guy and joad cressbeckler need more screen time

[slbb1000]

This is hysterical. I love onion news :)

[WhenYourStrange93]

vegetables and plants have feelings too. seriously! an indian scientist invented an instrument called the crescograph and proved it. look it up haha. fuck you vegetarians

[NirvZppln94]

i keep coming back to this video cuz it seriously is so true and so funny.

[ghostflyable23]

114 people need to eat a go*damn vegetable

[syrfnr]

macdonalds burgers are vegetables also..

[cowkillerX16]

haha turn on transcribe audio and read 0:33

[seandry1]

@cowkillerX16 or transcribe audio 0:05

[LightMatrixRain]

ITS SO FUCKING TRUE AND SIMPLE

[PianoHero1994]

The hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

[TheGMaster111]

I eat a vegetable every single day. I love pizza.

[Jdog89981]

politicians in a nutshell.

[YourRoadToHell]

@Jdog89981 you wish

[Kouta13]

@Jdog89981 Nah, I wish politics were this blunt.

Politics are a lot more like high school popularity between girls, put on a face that can get enough attention so people will like you then talk trash about everyone behind their backs while spreading rumors about the competition.

[Jdog89981]

@Kouta13 I meant it in a way that they just tell you what to do and that's it. I meant to say politicians in a nut shell >_<

[iRingoDrums]

Who ever says that Pizza is a vegetable is a fail

[999GHz]

@iRingoDrums fda made it so...so technically it is

[iRingoDrums]

@999GHz Idgaf dude. Why do you think it's considered a vegetable.

[999GHz]

@iRingoDrums i don't the fda does

[TheEmpowered787]

LMFAO

[DemoraX]

funny and worst thing is that thats all it takes lol, eat a veggie instead of a snack XD

<3 onion!

[applebaj]

HAHAHA "just buy a bag of fucking carrots"

[TheBeBeCaCa]

This is the Onion News Network. Keeping you safe from the lies. LOL

[THECOMMENTER10000]

American Government:

Could not make Americans eat actual vegetables

-

Says fuck it and makes pizza a vegetable.



[xSirEdwinx]

Pizza is now a vegetable!

[shirikoosh]

Why is this my favorite?!!

[orrgla]

thats RUDE oversized LIBTARD GOVERNMENT FOR YOU!!

[palipride47]

@orrgla Do you just like to troll every fucking onion page about libtards?

[agentbiggles]

Vegetable? I've never heard of that Pokemon.

[ahhhhjjjj]

@agentbiggles Those Pokemon do in fact exist...BUT...they are genetically modified by Monsanto.

[EbonyWaters]

FDA: Eat a vegetable, you disgusting pig.

[Draxis32]

Sadly Onion had Steve Hoyer's last video removed.

[phdan123]

@Draxis32 the go get cancer comment was a little off-colour

[Draxis32]

@phdan123 That was just Onion sense of humour, I found nothing offensive on that comment and had 2 people on my familie that died of cancer.

[phdan123]

@Draxis32 very true, my grandmother died of cancer, I still find this joke funny. Then again, there are a lot of whiners in the world, I guess they just came out in force for this video.

[thatoneguyseehim]

Not sure I understand.

[ebeatrice79]

Well now that pizza is officially considered a vegetable in the US, I'm good to go.

[vjm3]

Bullshit

This type of government intrusion wouldn't happen if Ron Paul were president! >:/

[ExpertOfSound]

"FDA is urging Americans to put something green in their dumb mouths."

LOL!@!@@!

[Syllaren]

i wish the fda had the nuts to do this irl XD

[bloodsling]

corn dog? does that count?

[wesrcravenfan12]

0:24 my fav part

[prazi86]

shoving them in your fat face cold... awesome :D:D

[tvap1122]

Hoyer 2012

[YourMinecraftNeeds]

so many workaholics, people who are always serious, assholes, greedy bastards. They fuck america in the ass. not the niggas in jail, or the illegal immagrants. or the weak-minded white trash serial killers. the fuck am i typing right now im so high lol anyways.. LOOSEN UP AND EAT A FUCKING CARROT, Save america. God bless us all.

[TheHONKYLIPS]

i wish the FDA actually would say that, too bad its full of meat company devils

[csbob2010]

@TheHONKYLIPS More like pharmaceutical reps.. they want people to say unhealthy and fucked up so they can make the most money with their drugs...no bullshit.

[TheHONKYLIPS]

@csbob2010 yeah i hate when people do that shit with capitalism it makes people want a completely different system people just need to not be so greedy and care about each other but that will never happen

[VelaToNorma7]

@TheHONKYLIPS Vegetarians are pussies.

[TheHONKYLIPS]

@VelaToNorma7 oh man im sooo mad you said that oh my god

[357Lobster]

@TheHONKYLIPS You better shut up or I'm gonna eat you. lol

[TheHONKYLIPS]

@357Lobster only if you bury me then grow a garden from the soil an eat the plants, yea now its weird

[Probablyacowtbh]

That "Jesus' christ" at the end just perfects it.

[belittle12]

I used this guy for motivation for my weight loss program.

[sgtMaxCollin]

hahaha, this bit is so funny and solid that it doesnt need to be longer

[alfredbesterp12]

Carrots...nah! However, cucumbers would conjure some "thoughts"!

[cheesywizzyify]

too bad, not gonna happen.

[trugangsta4real]

IT REALLY IS THAT FUCKING SIMPLE

[gamingmaster14]

Whats a vegetable? A type of hot dog?

[mimirr14]

@gamingmaster14 a Vegetable is a Pizza, don't you remember? lol

[metznimbo29]

@mimirr14 Correction: Pizza SAUCE is a vegetable. 

[thezackwalkumu]

@gamingmaster14 try pizza its my favorite vegetable

[TheGirlzgame]

@gamingmaster14 i wish i knew.. though i think i heard that pizza's are a vegetable..

[fermerwuvu]

@gamingmaster14 no I think its like a burger, but with no meat, no bread, no cheese and no ketchup. Weird...=S

[cheeky250250]

@gamingmaster14 I think they sell them at Wendy's...

[851852093114208513]

@gamingmaster14 - Just smear some bread with a fruit and cover it in melted cheese and bacon. Bam; vegetable!

[Etaks89]

This guy is my hero, I wish real government officials could be so blunt. They really do just need to eat a goddamn vegetable...

[JADENTHEVEGAN]

vegan approved

[Tezcatlepocatl]

@JADENTHEVEGAN

Being a vegan is just as bad for your health as being fat or a smoker. A balanced diet (including ~25% meat) is the way to go.

[JADENTHEVEGAN]

@Tezcatlepocatl u have no idea wat ur talkin about dude i get loads of protein and vitamins. I'm healthy and dont have to brutally murder millions of animals at the same time!!!! who wouldve thot...

[Tezcatlepocatl]

@JADENTHEVEGAN

I work with people who teach nutritional science (or nutrology). The numbers don't lie: being a vegan for extended periods of time is bad for you. It's okay for under 6 months...

I've known more than a couple vegan people who had been vegan for a couple of years who switched back to a normal diet after finding out that their feeling crappy was due to their veganism.

[Explosiveelm]

@Tezcatlepocatl Nonsense. All manner of disease, from ostioperosis, to muscular dystrophy, to cancer and drowning can be preventable with a vegan diet, and a lifejacket.

[Tezcatlepocatl]

@Explosiveelm

OK. Look at the mirror a few years from now (if your bones haven't fallen apart, that is), and tell me you're perfectly healthy.

Long-time vegan women can't even get pregnant. If that's not proof that veganism is not the diet humans should follow, I don't know what is.

[Explosiveelm]

@Tezcatlepocatl I know, dude, I was being sarcastic, hence the lifejacket bit.

[Tezcatlepocatl]

@Explosiveelm

Got it now. Didn't really get the sarcasm across too well.

[JADENTHEVEGAN]

@Tezcatlepocatl where the hell are you getting these facts? my whole fam's been vegans their whole lives and there has never once been any diet related issues. vegans dont even get heart attacks or cholesterol rate. other species cannot change there diet freely as a human can. they can only work with wat their habitat provides them with.

[Max17766]

@JADENTHEVEGAN "vegans dont even get heart attacks"

Bullshit, heart attacks don't even require poor diet, they can occur for hundreds of reasons.

[TheHONKYLIPS]

@Max17766 yea and non smokers get lung cancer but whose more likely

[Max17766]

@TheHONKYLIPS THis is something different. Being a vegetarian doesn't reduce or increase your risk of cancer and other diseases. A health diet with meat can be just as healthy as a vegetarian diet. It's an arbitrary, silly way to live.

[KpopManiacSFL]

@JADENTHEVEGAN and people who don't smoke never get lung cancer

[FemurBreakage]

@Max17766 Thank you for saying his comment so I wont go digging through to find it thank you good sir.

[iamachessaddict]

@Max17766 yes that's true. one of which i would like to point out is writing your name in a notebook

[cyanmanta]

@Max17766 True. Plus, vegans suffer from other problems like anemia and osteoporosis much more than the rest of us. And, contrary to popular belief, they are at just as much risk of developing heart disease and other cardiovascular conditions as people who eat meat. Overall, eating no meat at all is just as bad for you as eating too much meat. Ideally, we should all shoot for somewhere in the middle.

[thull21]

@JADENTHEVEGAN I look forward to the day when we true carnivores get to sustain ourselves on a diet of pure vegan meat. I bet you guys taste great.

[Explosiveelm]

@JADENTHEVEGAN Fuck you, hippie, I didn't climb to the toop of the food chain to eat carrots. Why is it that when animals eat meat, its natural, but when we do it, its bad? We're supposed to eat meat and animal products every once in a while, that way, we don't all end up as tree-hugging, dirt-munching druids like yourself.

[MOHOJO12]

@JADENTHEVEGAN I'd tell you to go die, but the iron deficiency that you develop which will eventually lead to anemia makes it redundant.

[DarkEmoE]

@Tezcatlepocatl my great grandmas first child who hadnt even ate a thing dies of a heart attack only hours after birth. anyone no matter what can have a heart attack dumbass. i think vegan people are the stupidest.

[Tezcatlepocatl]

@DarkEmoE

I agree with both things you said. Heart attacks can happen to anyone (though a lifestyle can increase chances), and vegan people are idiots. Sorry about your infant great-uncle.

[ManicTheManic]

God when he talked about the hotdogs cold and raw....ugh....makes my stomach hurt...already hate hotdogs...

[eelnomtih]

Steve Hoyer is one of the funniest people at the Onion

[KdogPrime]

I'm eating carrots out of a bag right now!

[Theespada13]

I'd really like it if politicians were this blunt and honest.

[chanchanie]

This man is my new hero

[MsMoonDragoon]

nomnomnomnom carrot. cake.

[ChillinInTheUniverse]

hahaa!! how hilarious would it be if public figures would actually say stuff like this once in a while, and not have to be so 100% politically correct all the time

[Mechagnomics]

Steve Hoyer is definitely my favourite recurring Onion personality.

[dharmaatdawn]

dont trust the government myself. I mean those karrots, theres something unnatural about them. they are orange in color, im sure the FDA, EPA or pharma put something in them to test them on us. and the way they taste, ah ah ah. im telling ya somebody is experimeting on us. Damn government

[holykarmor]

Dear people who are replying to youbestbequiet, he is a troll. Stop giving him the satisfaction!!!

[MrSafetymeeting]

Listen people,there are people on here trying to tell people that the onion is fake news.Can you believe this?We finally find a credible source of honest info and jerks like him are trying to discredit their hard work!SHAME ON THEM!

[FadeToBlack181]

I used to eat vegetables, then I took and arrow in the knee.

[Cyruur]

its actually true lmfao

[justscottiful]

How much mayonnaise can I put on the carrots though?

[arf189]

NickyAmerica got trolled along with 22 others :D

[mattrR678]

I used to eat vegetables...then I took an arrow to the knee.

[p2eas3]

@mattrR678 gtfo

[lilxartizt]

So I watched this video, half an hour later and I've eaten a bag of baby carrots, a bag of celery, a handful of cauliflower and an apple. truly an inspiration.

[p2eas3]

@lilxartizt Happened to me too :D

[Nerd322]

you know i think this is apretty accurate example of what a drunk health official on telly.

[silver117atg]

is that tosh.0?

[youbestbequiet]

So let's see...Obama said we are lazy as Americans, apologized to muslims on behalf of America and now telling us what to eat. This piece of shit they call the President should jump off a tall building and do the Country a favor. He bullshitted his way in 2008 but next year he isn't getting anyone's vote that has a brain. Thanks Onion for reporting what the networks won;t.

[levi799]

@youbestbequiet I sure hope you know the onion is fake xD

[bioniclefan1999]

@youbestbequiet you do know that onion is fake...right?

[LudicrousBarchart]

@youbestbequiet Please Allah let you not be serious about that comment. 

[youbestbequiet]

@LudicrousBarchart Why would anyone not be serious about this bs from this administration? durrrrrrrrrrrr

[HeavyMetal469]

@youbestbequiet obvious troll is obvious

[kqcrazii]

@youbestbequiet lmao, think before you comment.

[youbestbequiet]

@kqcrazii Ummmmm That's what the White House should be doing after making stupid statements like this to Americans. Obama has a fat wife and they want to tell us how to eat lol WHATEVER. She looks like a fat Ape.

[Eternalux]

@youbestbequiet how is michelle fat? she's not fat at all.

[Eternalux]

oh LOL you actually believed this was real. haha carry on you're obviously stupid.

[anonymousman555]

@youbestbequiet The Onion is not news, it is a comedy. Nobody from the FDA has said this, the guy that did say this is a professional actor.

[kqcrazii]

@youbestbequiet "stupid statements like this". I take it, you still don't get that this video is satire by now and not actually by the White House. But then again, why should I care? You're just a troll, as evidenced by calling a black person an ape. You're just trying to incite anger and you've won. Congratulations.

[youbestbequiet]

@kqcrazii If you say so! Facts are facts and why would Onion news stoop to the level of Fox or MSNBC? Exactly, they wouldn't. They are not swayed by political party hacks and this is why Obama needs to go.

[Eliterule213]

@kqcrazii As evidenced by his first comment you retard.

[kqcrazii]

@Eliterule213 why don't you try reading it again before you start calling people names.

[Eliterule213]

@kqcrazii Yeah you should have known that he was a troll before. Shouldn't have called you a retard blah blah blah.

[CommentorX]

College girls need to put more carrots in their mouths. That's why I painted my penis orange.

[LowCostVideo]

@CommentorX so it looks just like a baby carrot?

[Cryptically]

America's too sensitive