There's no reason to call this the Chinese mother debate. China has not produced legions of outstanding students, so clearly, this phenomenon is restricted to some parents.
Competitive parenting has always existed. My mother and all of her friends used guilt and shame to push their children in academics, music and some sports. While the child benefited, most of the glory, particularly graduation from top US schools, was for the parent.
If you are interested in this topic, you might also enjoy watching the episode of our talk show "Thoughtful China" which addressed issues related to "tiger moms" inside China. Please look for the Thoughtful China - "Tiger Mom Consumers" episode on our channel. The episode was inspired by the debate ignited by Amy Chua's book.
My mom was raised by parents who had high expectations but were also loving, and she is extremely successful now. However, she doesn't use the traditional Tiger Mom strategy because she says the one things she regrets in life is that she never had a childhood.
Well, I sort of agree with the quote "A push out of love". I guess my parents push me in school to be better and be more successful in life. Not too pushy, but still...I think without this motivation to do better, I wouldn't love school and learning as much. But of course, at some point in time, they stopped being so pushy as I developed a sense of independence...like, I started to feel the NEED to do better in school (not necessarily getting good grades), but just loving to learn new things!
well I think this style of parenting is good in some ways, I wouldn't call it abusive at all, I would call it harsh, but life is harsh, they are being given the tools to succeed. Although I would not use it for by own children, becuase I would want them to love childhood. and not focus so much on what's to come. you only get one childhood. a time in life when people should cut you some slack. before you have to deal with real life. I could never be a tiger mom. but I wouldn't be soft either
This is ridiculous. This girl goes to my school. I see her in the halls, she is NOT a sad, depressed robot. Just because a child is being pushed doesn't mean that they are unhappy.
What the fuck are you people going on about? Why are you so upset over the way Amy Chua raise her children? Worry about your own exam and learn to calculate, you American are so fucking dumb is not even funny any more.
The fact is that average IQ of American is probably 1/5 of the Asian, so shut the fuck up and stop bragging about your 75% "good mark"
@leoachilles "The fact is that average IQ of American is probably 1/5 of the Asian"
By now, innovation, both in technology and culture, from 1.2 Billion Chinese should have exceeded the output of 300 Million Americans. There is more innovation in Japan than China. What's the difference? Chinese parenting?
The general philosophies in the book are very true and actually really illustrate the misconceptions that keep kids from becoming great, but I'm not sure whether a kid needs to become "excellent" in the first place. It reminds me alot of my mom, she is Japanese and was always jealous of the mom's with Chinese students, who were more motivated than I was. Japanese moms are kind of "kitten moms," they rarely help, but expect everything, mainly using your pity on her as motivation.
@leoachilles I had a childhood of good grades, talent that I could actually enjoy, loving parents who made sure that I was happy and contented, lots of friends who care about me, lots of time playing under the sun, an equal amount of work and recreation, a childhood awash with beautiful memories that couldn't be replaced.
@892lgy7382 No my friend, only if you read the book Amy Chua's daughters have what most other don't. People are judging her the book with reading the book.
The article "why Chinese mother are superior" is manipulated to stir a chaos, so people will buy her book.
wow, what a childhood. I'm being sarcastic by the way.
childhood is about feeling on top of the world whatever you do. water fights, crap tv, toys, sunshine, rope swings, time away from your parents to just enjoy being a child, having a laugh. before you realise what the world is really like. does being good at everything make a person happier. I doubt it. my grandad was a proffesor, he drank like a fish, was a bad father, and argued constantly with his wife.
@Rowan07001484 NO, being good at everything doesn't make a person happier, being hopeless doesn't either, so if I am going to be unhappy, I would rather be unhappy and good at everything than unhappy and know nothing.
BTW, Why do people like you always think these highly intelligent children are being tortured? Why can't they be smart, talented and happy at the same time? What does all this have to do with the kid's happiness?
@Rowan07001484 I am a strict parent but I bet you anything my kids are happier than yours, the boys have xbox 360, psp, wii, asus gaming laptop, starcraft 2 installed................
Hard work and happy hours don't have to be conflicts, that's where you are getting it all wrong.
@Rowan07001484 Exactly!!! Yet my older son at age of 8 has been playing piano for 3 years, started practice 15min a day/session now 2 hours, tutor once a week with excessive home work, tae kwan do and swiming in all four styles, soccer next year because he requested, never allowed to show any hint of disrespect towards us and grandma....yet you are right, they are spoiled.
@Rowan07001484 The easiest thing a parent can do is let them play play play like you said, but please,don't criticize others when they want to do more for their kids.
I suggest you to read Amy Chua's book, you can buy it on ebay, or itune as a audio book. I did both，and love it！I bet most people here criticize her have never read her book, it's nothing like what you think. Yes I admit that she was a bit over board but I wish I could do half as much as she does for my own child.
@Rowan07001484 The truth is, her book does not show the true parenting story from her, she focus on the "harsh" part of dealing with her children, but you can just imagine the time, effort, money that she pour in to the girls. She was born in the year of the tiger,, the tiger always live a dramatic life, so she does, in my eyes I would call her crazy too, my wife thinks she is idol. either way, if you read the book, you can really feel her love for her kids. It's not something everybody can do.
no, a childhood enjoyed, is better than any talent or test results. how can you call anyone's childhood nothing. maybe you feel like yours was nothing. But everyone's life is amazing in it's own way.
thats too bad.. no sleepovers, no play dates, no tv, no video games, must play piano, study for hours and hours, make no friends, make no decisions, get a "good" job, make a lot of money, have no idea how to interact with people, come home to your cats in your big empty house... sounds amazing. this girl has no idea what life is about..
@SpicyHam umm.... sorry but the Chinese are known for being very self-disciplined and self-controlled. Its something to be proud about.
Besides, China will overtake US as the global superpower by 2025 whether you like it or not. You may be some Asian living in the Western world who's obviously Westernized but sorry to say, jobs are quickly drifting towards Asia.
So some tough parenting methods to work in China's favor.
Amy Chua is forcing her kids to use western instruments such as the Piano. The inventor whom did NOT have a tiger mom. If forcing your kids to be robots is "progress" then count me out The Piano wasn't invented in China with so called "superior" parenting. And talk about "stereotyping" If we feel like we must stereotype chinese by saying they are "tough" on their kids...then i guess we could also say they can't drive. Oh yeah, Henry Ford did not have a tiger mom by the way...
The problem is that these mamby pamby liberal and progressive psychologists have not produced children that are superior. All scores and tests show that the Dr. Spock approach has failed. But it has produced a "feel good" thing that produces weak kids. By the way, the children of the liberal generation have just as many psychological problems. Watching TV and playing video games is a terrible waste of time, but that is encouraged by the feel good generation.
That is so fucking general, it's stupid. You obviously have your own issues with liberals to the point that you spew your hatred and ignorance even on a topic that has nothing to do with it. So let me have a crack at it. Maybe the Conservative mentality of raising kids who amount to nothing more than well educated sociopaths who have no emotion and empathy for anyone is the reason you Americans can so easily drop bombs on others for cheap gas, whew. Libs also produce well educated kids
@cpretartedmuch what in the world? I thought she was an American-born Chinese girl at first, but regardless, it's just an opinion of one girl and not an entire country
Chinese parents are superior? Is that why millions of little chinese girls have ended up dead in the sewers because they can't grow up to financially support their parents. What a lie she is spreading- don't buy it!
Now to listen to an 18-year-old explains "a Push Out of Love...?" How about personality flaw, behavioral disorder, mental illness, social-political-economic disadvantage, etc., as results of environment and genetics, as also reasons? An 18-year-old certainly has no capacity to explain THAT!
Do not confuse Cultural Difference with Class Division, and vice versa, although sometimes its corollary is true too; hereby "class" is not defined by socioeconomics nor education.
Amy Chua does NOT represent all Chinese parents.
guayx2 2 months ago
She's cute and smart
VisualAural 3 months ago
There's no reason to call this the Chinese mother debate. China has not produced legions of outstanding students, so clearly, this phenomenon is restricted to some parents.
Competitive parenting has always existed. My mother and all of her friends used guilt and shame to push their children in academics, music and some sports. While the child benefited, most of the glory, particularly graduation from top US schools, was for the parent.
feministsAreCorrupt 5 months ago
If you are interested in this topic, you might also enjoy watching the episode of our talk show "Thoughtful China" which addressed issues related to "tiger moms" inside China. Please look for the Thoughtful China - "Tiger Mom Consumers" episode on our channel. The episode was inspired by the debate ignited by Amy Chua's book.
ThoughtfulChina 5 months ago
My mom was raised by parents who had high expectations but were also loving, and she is extremely successful now. However, she doesn't use the traditional Tiger Mom strategy because she says the one things she regrets in life is that she never had a childhood.
TheSilviepie 5 months ago
The "individually" successful?...
Superfoiling 7 months ago
Well, I sort of agree with the quote "A push out of love". I guess my parents push me in school to be better and be more successful in life. Not too pushy, but still...I think without this motivation to do better, I wouldn't love school and learning as much. But of course, at some point in time, they stopped being so pushy as I developed a sense of independence...like, I started to feel the NEED to do better in school (not necessarily getting good grades), but just loving to learn new things!
relentlesslove08 8 months ago
Wikipedia, search for the History of education.
valdes1978 8 months ago
Well, one's thing for sure, she will never know that you can love to learn without this tiger mom crap. That kid is delusional for life.
valdes1978 8 months ago
fuck u amy chua ur lucky im not ur child cuz i wood gut u with my bare hands
Clyde200k 8 months ago
well I think this style of parenting is good in some ways, I wouldn't call it abusive at all, I would call it harsh, but life is harsh, they are being given the tools to succeed. Although I would not use it for by own children, becuase I would want them to love childhood. and not focus so much on what's to come. you only get one childhood. a time in life when people should cut you some slack. before you have to deal with real life. I could never be a tiger mom. but I wouldn't be soft either
Rowan07001484 8 months ago
This is ridiculous. This girl goes to my school. I see her in the halls, she is NOT a sad, depressed robot. Just because a child is being pushed doesn't mean that they are unhappy.
SVJLightBulb 9 months ago 2
@leoachilles You are being just as bad as the Americans are supposedly being with that comment.
SVJLightBulb 9 months ago
@SVJLightBulb Yeah! I am just trying to fill their shoes. lol
leoachilles 8 months ago
if this girl doesnt kill her mother she is mentally disturbed..seriously
05giacomo 9 months ago
What the fuck are you people going on about? Why are you so upset over the way Amy Chua raise her children? Worry about your own exam and learn to calculate, you American are so fucking dumb is not even funny any more.
The fact is that average IQ of American is probably 1/5 of the Asian, so shut the fuck up and stop bragging about your 75% "good mark"
Ignorant bunch of cow!
leoachilles 9 months ago
This has been flagged as spam show
@leoachilles "The fact is that average IQ of American is probably 1/5 of the Asian"
By now, innovation, both in technology and culture, from 1.2 Billion Chinese should have exceeded the output of 300 Million Americans. There is more innovation in Japan than China. What's the difference? Chinese parenting?
feministsAreCorrupt 5 months ago
The general philosophies in the book are very true and actually really illustrate the misconceptions that keep kids from becoming great, but I'm not sure whether a kid needs to become "excellent" in the first place. It reminds me alot of my mom, she is Japanese and was always jealous of the mom's with Chinese students, who were more motivated than I was. Japanese moms are kind of "kitten moms," they rarely help, but expect everything, mainly using your pity on her as motivation.
ryukXsayu27 9 months ago
Poor girl. She may have the best grades and talent, but she never had the one important thing you could only have once.
CHILDHOOD.
892lgy7382 9 months ago
@892lgy7382 She has a childhood of best grades and talent and you have a childhood of nothing.
leoachilles 9 months ago
@leoachilles I had a childhood of good grades, talent that I could actually enjoy, loving parents who made sure that I was happy and contented, lots of friends who care about me, lots of time playing under the sun, an equal amount of work and recreation, a childhood awash with beautiful memories that couldn't be replaced.
892lgy7382 9 months ago
@892lgy7382 than what are you complaining about? You have an Asian childhood and obviously proud of it.
leoachilles 8 months ago
@leoachilles Nothing. :) It just saddens me that Amy Chua's daughters never had what I had.
892lgy7382 8 months ago
@892lgy7382 No my friend, only if you read the book Amy Chua's daughters have what most other don't. People are judging her the book with reading the book.
The article "why Chinese mother are superior" is manipulated to stir a chaos, so people will buy her book.
leoachilles 8 months ago
@leoachilles
wow, what a childhood. I'm being sarcastic by the way.
childhood is about feeling on top of the world whatever you do. water fights, crap tv, toys, sunshine, rope swings, time away from your parents to just enjoy being a child, having a laugh. before you realise what the world is really like. does being good at everything make a person happier. I doubt it. my grandad was a proffesor, he drank like a fish, was a bad father, and argued constantly with his wife.
Rowan07001484 8 months ago
@Rowan07001484 NO, being good at everything doesn't make a person happier, being hopeless doesn't either, so if I am going to be unhappy, I would rather be unhappy and good at everything than unhappy and know nothing.
BTW, Why do people like you always think these highly intelligent children are being tortured? Why can't they be smart, talented and happy at the same time? What does all this have to do with the kid's happiness?
leoachilles 8 months ago
@Rowan07001484 I am a strict parent but I bet you anything my kids are happier than yours, the boys have xbox 360, psp, wii, asus gaming laptop, starcraft 2 installed................
Hard work and happy hours don't have to be conflicts, that's where you are getting it all wrong.
leoachilles 8 months ago
@leoachilles
why do they need all those things. they sound spoiled to me.
Rowan07001484 8 months ago
@Rowan07001484 Exactly!!! Yet my older son at age of 8 has been playing piano for 3 years, started practice 15min a day/session now 2 hours, tutor once a week with excessive home work, tae kwan do and swiming in all four styles, soccer next year because he requested, never allowed to show any hint of disrespect towards us and grandma....yet you are right, they are spoiled.
leoachilles 8 months ago
@Rowan07001484 The easiest thing a parent can do is let them play play play like you said, but please,don't criticize others when they want to do more for their kids.
I suggest you to read Amy Chua's book, you can buy it on ebay, or itune as a audio book. I did both，and love it！I bet most people here criticize her have never read her book, it's nothing like what you think. Yes I admit that she was a bit over board but I wish I could do half as much as she does for my own child.
leoachilles 8 months ago
@Rowan07001484 The truth is, her book does not show the true parenting story from her, she focus on the "harsh" part of dealing with her children, but you can just imagine the time, effort, money that she pour in to the girls. She was born in the year of the tiger,, the tiger always live a dramatic life, so she does, in my eyes I would call her crazy too, my wife thinks she is idol. either way, if you read the book, you can really feel her love for her kids. It's not something everybody can do.
leoachilles 8 months ago 3
@leoachilles
no, a childhood enjoyed, is better than any talent or test results. how can you call anyone's childhood nothing. maybe you feel like yours was nothing. But everyone's life is amazing in it's own way.
Rowan07001484 8 months ago
thats too bad.. no sleepovers, no play dates, no tv, no video games, must play piano, study for hours and hours, make no friends, make no decisions, get a "good" job, make a lot of money, have no idea how to interact with people, come home to your cats in your big empty house... sounds amazing. this girl has no idea what life is about..
TheFeeez21 10 months ago
@TheFeeez21 Yeah, make yourself feel better for your own failure.
leoachilles 9 months ago
i think this pretty girl does't have any friend!
gdvanhoa 10 months ago
Preying on own children, taking away half of their rights, making them easily manupulated subjects of others, is not the way of the tiger.
That's the way of a crazed zombie.
SpicyHam 11 months ago
it ain't chinese parenting, it's parenting conducted by these folks that happen to in China.
And ancient chinese family practices were nothing like this.
SpicyHam 11 months ago 15
Yes I agree.
valdes1978 8 months ago
@SpicyHam lol in ancient China, girls aren't even allowed to go to school.
guitarhamster102 6 months ago
@SpicyHam umm.... sorry but the Chinese are known for being very self-disciplined and self-controlled. Its something to be proud about.
Besides, China will overtake US as the global superpower by 2025 whether you like it or not. You may be some Asian living in the Western world who's obviously Westernized but sorry to say, jobs are quickly drifting towards Asia.
So some tough parenting methods to work in China's favor.
giriisindahouse 3 weeks ago
Amy Chua is forcing her kids to use western instruments such as the Piano. The inventor whom did NOT have a tiger mom. If forcing your kids to be robots is "progress" then count me out The Piano wasn't invented in China with so called "superior" parenting. And talk about "stereotyping" If we feel like we must stereotype chinese by saying they are "tough" on their kids...then i guess we could also say they can't drive. Oh yeah, Henry Ford did not have a tiger mom by the way...
Rao665 1 year ago
The problem is that these mamby pamby liberal and progressive psychologists have not produced children that are superior. All scores and tests show that the Dr. Spock approach has failed. But it has produced a "feel good" thing that produces weak kids. By the way, the children of the liberal generation have just as many psychological problems. Watching TV and playing video games is a terrible waste of time, but that is encouraged by the feel good generation.
busapp 1 year ago
@busapp
That is so fucking general, it's stupid. You obviously have your own issues with liberals to the point that you spew your hatred and ignorance even on a topic that has nothing to do with it. So let me have a crack at it. Maybe the Conservative mentality of raising kids who amount to nothing more than well educated sociopaths who have no emotion and empathy for anyone is the reason you Americans can so easily drop bombs on others for cheap gas, whew. Libs also produce well educated kids
drbayoms 1 year ago
facism
cpretartedmuch 1 year ago
this is propaganda from the Chinese communists
cpretartedmuch 1 year ago
@cpretartedmuch what in the world? I thought she was an American-born Chinese girl at first, but regardless, it's just an opinion of one girl and not an entire country
yl358 1 year ago
Chinese parents are superior? Is that why millions of little chinese girls have ended up dead in the sewers because they can't grow up to financially support their parents. What a lie she is spreading- don't buy it!
Odette321 1 year ago
Prisoners at Guantanamo Bay have more rights than these girls.
NinjaGhostScorpion 1 year ago 14
@NinjaGhostScorpion And more knowledges and than you.
leoachilles 9 months ago
Now to listen to an 18-year-old explains "a Push Out of Love...?" How about personality flaw, behavioral disorder, mental illness, social-political-economic disadvantage, etc., as results of environment and genetics, as also reasons? An 18-year-old certainly has no capacity to explain THAT!
Do not confuse Cultural Difference with Class Division, and vice versa, although sometimes its corollary is true too; hereby "class" is not defined by socioeconomics nor education.
eseereoj 1 year ago 2