Das Ranting: Mervin Reads! Twilight Illustrated Guide (Episode 5)

[NekoFaustus]

The closest thing to cliffs in Wisconsin would be the Niagara Escarpment. Trouble is, it's about 270 miles from Ashland.

Damn, Esme must've been hella determined to kill herself.

[faketohma]

why can't her characters die in a normal way. why does she feel each of their near death experience has to be spectacular..

[HumbleLittleNarrator]

I listen to this whole thing and every time I head one of those pauses before one of your rage sessions I think "anurism in 3...2..1..."

XD Great job. Very informative and entertaining.

[BlueUncia]

Oh, by the way. I don't know if anyone said this about the farm-girl thing, but depending on the status of the family a certain amount of respectability was expected, especially from 16 year old girls. My grandmother grew up on a farm. Her father was what we call a "herenboer", meaning he had quite a large estate and was a member of the lower ranks of nobility. That sounds more impressive than it really is, but it did mean they expected my grandmother to behave a certain way when ... (cont.)

[BlueUncia]

@BlueUncia ... she was no longer a child. Her parents also had specific wishes concerning who she would marry (which thankfully she ignored).

Considering Esme has so many names, she may be the daughter of one of these more prestigious farmer families? Maybe?

[tcelenacuatemocatl]

I don't think Meyer put any serious thought into her characters' personalities. she herself even said that she doesn't do research on the stuff she's writing about.

[tcelenacuatemocatl]

thanks for reviewing the guide. now i know i don't want to buy it.

[nicolebmoviesFTW2]

I'm glad Esme got abused. She deserved it, the murdering bitch.

[aquabluecat123]

Oh my gosh!

XDD. When you screamed that Esme' lived on a farm, my computer froze for a couple of seconds, extending your, "FAAAAAAAAAAAAAARM!" XD.

It was hilarious!

I spit up my rice.

By the way: You rock, I love you forever! <3. :). Keep on going, I've read your recaps for Twilight. I need the time to read the rest.

School will be school. :P.

[BlueUncia]

Okay, as a non-native English speaker, I'm just curious. I was told that nowadays using the word "blond" in a female context is acceptable. Possibly because that's American English, rather than British English (or more old-fashioned, I don't know). Is there some truth to that?

[Harakuroi]

@BlueUncia It's generally more acceptable to use 'Blonde' for females. I guess a lot more people accept 'Blond' but that does not mean it's grammatically correct.

[wolfmoon17]

The anatomy...for the love of all that is good the anatomy especailly on Rosalie, why are her arms different legs, why is her stomach so thin and where the hell is her butt? Then there's the fact that apart from arguably Emmett (suffering a bear attack being terrifying and all) why is it only the women who suffer horrendous and traumatic experiences? Rosalie being gang raped, Esme suffering post natal depression and Leah losing everything from her father and body to basic respect and empathy.

[BlueUncia]

@wolfmoon17 Well, to be honest, human anatomy IS kind of hard. Personally, I suck at female figures too, and frequently draw women with way too tiny waists and bums. It's not because I find that pretty, but because I just forgot to zoom out and reflect on the overall figure. >.>

I agree though, it's bad in a professional artist. XD

[Harakuroi]

@wolfmoon17 Because Meyer is a sexist bitch. Or because she thinks Dark and Troubled Pasts are awesome, and yet has no idea how to do them correctly, so we end up with the trainwreck that is Twilight.

[Give1Take2]

"She has no car. . . because we needed to know that." Actually, I think it's VERY telling that the demure doormat, happy home-maker housewife Esme is the ONLY Cullen that doesn't have a car. I get the feeling that what Meyer meant was, "She doesn't need a car."

Also, her commiting suicide because her newborn baby died. . . Yeah, it's sad, but not that uncommon. Babies died all the time back then, and she grew up on a FARM. She must have seen enough infant mortality to keep her head.

[DassahDill13]

ok you said you love emmet so i feel free to say that pic of edward was so hot!!!

[nicoleb]

AW! I put my face in my cat's fur when I want to feel better, too. ^_^

[OllieMugwump]

The only 'help' I would give to SMeyer would be a nice, sharp aspen stake smashed through her heart with a lump-hammer, and then strike off her vapid head with a shovel. What they did to vampires in the old days ;-)

[TheBookwurm82]

Why oh Why did that bitch ESME got to be from my hometown of Columbus, Ohio? GRRRR! Seriously put her somewhere else.

oh whatever the story is already written and once its out to the public it cannot be taken back

[YunaElphabaLovegood]

I've been wondering that for a while: Esme wasn't that special to Carlisle when he met her, does that mean "love at second sight" is possible in SMeyer-world or is it just that Carlisle didn't really care and just wanted anyone to have sex with?

And well, Esme DID have a choice, she choose to kill herself. It's just that THE MAN did not like the choice she made, so he revoked it. He's THE MAN, only what he wants counts.

Mervin: I don't even think she realized what she wrote

Me: Does she EVER?!

[PhantomOfTheSchool]

Esme looks like Stephenie Meyer. A whole lot. What the hell. That was creepy.

And Emmett was the cause of the family constantly moving??? WHAT???? And I always thought that was JASPER'S role.

[BlueUncia]

@PhantomOfTheSchool Judging by this video and some of the previous ones, I'd say the whole Cullen family is responsible for that to some degree at least. I guess we lowly humans are just so very, very tasty...

[xAutumnTwilightx]

I'll catch you on the flipside!

[CeruleanRogue]

Free will is important to her..? Does this woman even read her own books a second time? Free will gets axed CONSTANTLY, and she has the gall to say she's a big proponent of it?