David Cross - Passion of the Cross - part 1 of 8

[thSubliminalCriminal]

xD "friendly fire" never is...

[terraLiquidus]

Finally, a comedian who doesn't need to use dirty mouth..

[13FlowersOnFire]

According to the Bible, God fed manna to the Jews for 40 years in the desert. But now, there are babies in poor countries starving to death. According to the Bible, God saved the Jews from the Egyptian army. BUT, on Christmas night 1996 Jon Benet Ramsey, a little girl, was raped and murdered. Hmmm...God cares about Jews but not babies and children? Fuck God!

[kidwidacake]

@hoopswill2 y are u watching this?

[hoopswill2]

This guy is dumb. God has proven himself time and time again and you need to see the light children. This is a terrible man and must know that religion is the only true path to the promise land

[keggerous]

@hoopswill2 wheres the proof again? i must have missed it or maybe he proved himdelf to u but not me for some reason .. .

[poppi11]

@keggerous When the rapture comes you will not be spared. Go to church, find the lord, it really helped my life and i know it can help yours. I am just trying to help you all. People badmouth religion but noone realizes its the best path to happiness and the true prequel to the afterlife. Jesus has died for your sins and you repay him by listening to men with hate in their hearts like david cross

[clipsryan]

@poppi11 2,000 years plus. It's not gonna happen. Know why? Because not all humans know your religion so they can't exactly follow it and not all humans will be of self aware age so that they can be equally judged. Also, there is no eternal bliss in a land where you worship a lazy god forever. Jesus' death was used as a blood sacrifice, 70 plus years after the fact, in order to excuse god's murders and mistakes. Is there free will in heaven? If so, sin existed before Adam and Eve. ;)

[XXReaperX8]

@poppi11 I understand you're point, but you can't tell someone they won't be spared. You don't know that, and being judgemental is not a good thing at all. You're basically putting words in The Lord's mouth.

[kaelemelf]

@poppi11 afterlife? LOL @ U. Do you fear your mortality? There's no afterlife, and no one has a 'soul'. How would it store memories? How could it feel anything or think anything? Those functions are of the body, and your body will surely die. Do not fret, you were not miserable in 1850, and you will not be miserable in 2150.

Enjoy your short life, and do not threaten people with your boogeyman stories.

[charliepossenriede]

@hoopswill2 get out.

[thSubliminalCriminal]

@hoopswill2

I fuck your God until it bleeds through whichever hole I chose.

[DukeDanceum]

I love Bullety!

[smegweevil]

Great stuff! This is the first time I have heard the guy. Really funny!

[Tmants5654]

@smegweevil Oh man, he's great. All his stand up is prime. Bigger and Blackerer was probably his weakest DVD but everything else is genius. Check out Arrested Development. He plays a monumental part in probably the greatest sitcom of all time. Cheers.

[haze122112]

@sambomuaythaijack If he spelled it Monguhloyd i would understand you calling him out , but instead you are just searching for ways to make yourself sound smart. Since we are using derogatory terms with each other for no apparent reason, and bashing others' level of intelligence over the internet, why don't you go rub your dick to some pictures of the Bush family, clean the cum with your grandmother's lips Mr. fucking intelligence

[pretorious700]

@haze122112 you just lowered the dialogue to the level of the jerk you are arguing with...why bother dumbass?

[haze122112]

@sambomuaythaijack You just don't like his opinions so you call him stupid and denounce him, typical reaction of most humans who hold an opinion so I can't blame you. What I can blame you for is taking the time to post your stupid bullshit on his video calling him an ass wipe while he gets on stage and speaks his mind and you sit on a website bashing others. Who's the fucking ass wipe? And to your "misspelled mongoloid" comment, he was one fucking letter off, a clear TYPO, not proof of stupidity

[xSamMorris]

JESUS DOESN'T EXIST

[nicoterradas]

Hey, thanks for posting this compilation. Can you detail from which shows you took this religion bits? THANKS.

[EmmittBrownBTTF1]

Bush on evolution "hasn't made up his mind yet". So get gets elected to a position where his ability to make decisions is a key performance measure. Oh, the penny just has dropped. :)

[KayVaughn11]

Ronnie Dobbs?

[houston56able]

This dude is banging out a broad young enough to be his granddaughter.... He is funny though. Comes off a bit egomaniacal

[troublemakir]

@houston56able He was 19 when she was born according to wikipedia.

[sambomuaythaijack]

This guy just ain't that funny. I'm certain he wouldn't criticize Obama who is a bigger dumbshit than W!

[wickkidda]

@sambomuaythaijack how is obama a bigger dumbshit than george w bush? i have to hear this.

[loungelizard5000]

@sambomuaythaijack What wick said.....And people that call others "dumbshit" are inbred mongloids.

[sambomuaythaijack]

@loungelizard5000 You asked for it, how about his complete breach of diplomatic protocols that has left him the laughing stock of the entire World? How about total withdrawal from Iraq, when his own fucking generals are telling him it's stupid? How about his idiotic economic policies that even his own administration has touted as detrimental to jobs creation?

You can look all of these up, there are facts to back up my statements. Take his nuts out of your mouth & read.

[loungelizard5000]

@sambomuaythaijack Many independant economists have said that his "Idiotic economic policies" may have saved us from a true depression in this economy. And in 3 years, he hasn't done your so-called "total withdraw from Iraq". You are full of shit. Grow up, douche. And he didn't START the war-profiteering in Iraq which is TREASON by U.S. law. Hey ! Let's start a war based on lies and give all our buddies billion-dollar contracts to "rebuild" Iraq ! Pffsshh.....Asshole douche. Fuck you.

[wowamonn]

@sambomuaythaijack "You asked for it, how about his complete breach of diplomatic protocols that has left him the laughing stock of the entire World?"

Please cite an example.

[wowamonn]

@sambomuaythaijack "How about his idiotic economic policies that even his own administration has touted as detrimental to jobs creation?"

How man Jobs have been lost under Obama's Economic policies when it took effect mid 2009?

[sambomuaythaijack]

@wowamonn 2.5 million. You can look up the sources. They include the NYTimes, WSJ, and MSNBC. Face reality. You're a liberal apologist & you're likely on welfare to boot. And yes, before you even ask, I am a racist.

I mix no bones about it. 200 black morons stampeding through the Mall of America on a holiday. No way I am kissing the PC establishments ass. It's called self-preservation. Race is an issue when one race is excused for all their bad behavior.

[sambomuaythaijack]

@sambomuaythaijack Oh and while I am on the web, do you know that the BLACK unemployment has risen since 2009. Look it up! Read something beside Obama Nuthugger Press.

[wowamonn]

@sambomuaythaijack I am no 'Liberal' nor am I a 'Conservative'. I am not African American. I have no idea why you brought up those black idiots because we were not discussing race. (Kinda tells me something about you though. Since you brought it up in a discussion about Obama.) 2.5 Million Jobs? Are you confusing claims of "jobs created/jobs lost" which is a completely different survey with different methodology. They're not comparable.

[sambomuaythaijack]

@wowamonn 2.5 million jobs lost. That is a statistic from ShadowStats, which thus far has been dead on and unbiased. The facts are the facts. Your liberal distortions and your conservative counterparts are both cooked.

As of November 2011, African American UE was 15.5 up from 15.1. And the recent 'drop' has recently been contradicted by several credible news sources.

[wowamonn]

@sambomuaythaijack Why do you keep bring up African-American this and African-American that. Is that suppose to reveal something about Obama since he is Bi-racial?(Half African-America).

[wowamonn]

.@sambomuaythaijack 

[wowamonn]

@sambomuaythaijack Why don't you check factchecks on those jobs lost/gained slick

[wowamonn]

@sambomuaythaijack "You can look all of these up, there are facts to back up my statements. Take his nuts out of your mouth & read."

Cite the sources.

[sambomuaythaijack]

@wowamonn Bowing to the Chinese Premier, bowing to the Saudi King, those are serious breaches of diplomatic protocol.

So, take his nutsack out of your liberal jowls & grow up. This man is once more adding 1.2T to our national debt & trying to raise the debt ceiling. Politicians are half wits and their followers are nitwits.

[wowamonn]

@sambomuaythaijack "Bowing to the Chinese Premier, bowing to the Saudi King, those are serious breaches of diplomatic protocol."

And what is the protocol that a US President are suppose to follow with fellow heads of State. Please cite the source.

[sambomuaythaijack]

@wowamonn He did so with Queen Elizabeth and you can check it on her website. "Men should only bow at the neck, and that is not required." It is also a violation of diplomatic protocols laid down by our first Secretary of State Thomas Jefferson.

He is a head of state and therefore NOT subject to the King of Saudi Arabia (well, at least he is not supposed to be according to US law.) LMAO.

It doesn't matter what I say, you're just going to continue to argue regardless of the evidence.

[wowamonn]

@sambomuaythaijack" It doesn't matter what I say, you're just going to continue to argue regardless of the evidence."

What evidence. You just stated your opinion about this so called protocol about how

the President was suppose to address a foreign counter-part. The Problem is you assume that since the office of the Presidency is the most powerful in the world, that negates the President from showing other forms of cordial greetings.

[sambomuaythaijack]

@loungelizard5000 The irony that you misspelled 'mongoloid', which is offensive to people with Down's Syndrome, is clearly an indication of why Obama nut-riders are dumb shits.

David Cross is a banal, snarky asswipe that is occasionally funny. If I'm going to listen to a liberal comedian bash Bush & religion, I'll listen to Oswalt, at least he is intelligent. Garafalo, Cross and few others like them are just post-mod bs artists that aren't that bright. Garafalo SAT 930! LMAO!

[loungelizard5000]

@sambomuaythaijack Well, thanks so much for being yet ANOTHER "typo police". The internet REALLY needed yet another one of those. There's just not enough "typo police". I keep saying that to all my friends. However, Bush and Cheney are war profiteers, which is treason. And Cross will always be a legend to all comedy fans simply for Mr. Show and Arrested Development........and THAT is simply THAT.

[MadBagOfHorses]

'In Touch Ministries' - LMAO!.. an unfortunate name... lol!

[joemantex]

When I was in Iraq, there was nothing more that I would have liked more than some "Bush" except maybe some shaved.

[Dafluffy1]

@joemantex shoulda prayed for 72 bushes

[marcelolopes123]

The world had nothing but the thinkers and their speculations, uncertain sparks struck from their own minds. But Jesus came; His arms stretched open on the Cross as if to embrace us. His death is a fact about the human race. It marked mankind, the single most notable event of history. His Cross is the world’s number-one man-made object. Be blessed.

[wendighoul]

@marcelolopes123 So... according to you.. the number one man-made object is a simple wooden X that was used to torture and execute criminals. Forget kidney dialysis machines, supersonic jets or, umm, I dunno, COMPUTERS. That is how much your religion has damaged your mind, you think an implement of torture and death is the greatest thing we ever made, instead of what it is, quite possibly one of the worst (after Justin Bieber albums).

[imax1971]

Laugh while you can David...

[nanomagnetic]

Skip the bullshit: 0:55

[danielinsporto]

man that intro scared the fucking shit outta me

[MrMonkeysurprise]

Do Christians ever feel afraid to tell people about their faith? I feel afraid to mention my atheism. Probably my own fault...

[arandumLloser]

why are people called comedians when they arnt funny

[kerby200099]

what song you use for your intro?

[LaDay1471]

@kerby200099 Its "im my own god" by The Dayglo Abortions

[kerby200099]

@LaDay1471 no I mean the song at the very very beginning when it shows the zombie babe hugging the tattooed dude. :)

[LaDay1471]

@kerby200099 O-ok.. That song is "strong to the finish" by Destroy.

[kerby200099]

@LaDay1471 thank you sir!

[jamo387]

David Cross is fairly funny but he seems like such a hate-filled, bitter, envious asshole that he's hard to listen to sometimes ...

[PoliticalIncorrectly]

2 people are members of the lesbian dentist cartel.

[TheCowboySantos]

that is fucked up.

no other kingdom has shed more blood, than the kingdom of jesus christ

[NeoSilvanus]

awww you and me mate are gonna travel through time

[cyanmanta]

Hey Scientologists, quit voting down comments from people who disagree with you. You live in America; this is the ONLY country that even recognizes the legitimacy of your stupid beliefs, so stop pissing on the Constitution and silencing everyone who says anything bad about you.

[teameymelli1]

@cyanmanta tell the cunts!

[kakonis]

@cyanmanta

I'm pretty sure thumbing down comments is also protected by the constitution.

[justdrop]

@kakonis I'm pretty sure expressing your freedom and invoking third-party censorship are two different things.

[sawyerandjackfucking]

@cyanmanta Seriously? You're siting American Freedom, and telling other people to NOT express their rights to express their opinion? What the fuck is that? I recognize Scientology as insanity just as much as the next guy, but your argument is moot, and pretty un-American if you ask me, fella.

[justdrop]

@sawyerandjackfucking Expressing your freedom and invoking third-party censorship are two different things, which I'm pretty sure is what they were doing, fella.

[Alfalfa2210]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

'we have some bad news and some good news...' =D

[longfootbuddy]

in america, were all suppose to be our own kings

[815Sox]

@longfootbuddy What a joke, you are only "king" if you are not of the "99 %"

[longfootbuddy]

@815Sox what do you mean?

[DeimosSaturn]

Is david cross a 9/11 truther?

I used to love David Cross, but ever since he did the chipmunks movie with Scientology celebrity Jason Lee, he's lost all credibility with me. I understand if maybe he wanted the money to put a down payment on a nice apartment or something, but all his anti-religion material just seems empty now.

[LaDay1471]

@DeimosSaturn all I can say to that is he is an actor, thats his job to make movies no matter how bad (chipmunks) and no matter whos in it.

Being an Atheist isnt like being a Christian, you dont seperate yourself from others just because of their beliefs.

[DeimosSaturn]

@LaDay1471 I didn't say that because he's an atheist he should refuse all contact with religionists. I was saying that his anti-religious material doesn't mean a whole lot when he can actually film a whole movie along side a Scilon and bite his tongue the entire time. He was even in both MIB movies with Will Smith, a guy who donated a million dollars toward building a scientology center. It's like if Bill Hicks were the producer of The Jersey Shore.

[stlchucko]

@DeimosSaturn If someone pays you enough, you'd bite your tongue too. George Carlin dressed up like a priest in Dogma, that doesn't mean he was any less cynical towards the catholic religion.  Just because a person worships imaginary ghosts or spacemen doesn't make them a bad person..... just don't talk to them about religion.

[DeimosSaturn]

@stlchucko "George Carlin dressed up like a priest in Dogma, that doesn't mean he was any less cynical towards the catholic religion."

That example is in no way analogous to what I'm talking about. It seems you completely missed the point.

[stlchucko]

@DeimosSaturn I didn't miss the point, but I suppose you missed mine. It's the first and third sentence.  There's a difference between respecting one's decision and accepting it as your own.

If an Jewish carpenter is hired to build a church, it doesn't make him less of a Jew.

BTW: Carlin was in Dogma with Jason Lee as well. I'm pretty sure Jason had the same religious affect on George as he did on David Cross.... which is none.

[DeimosSaturn]

@stlchucko You're still missing the point entirely. Kevin Smith is a deist and George Carlin is an atheist. It's not a matter of people of differing beliefs being able to put aside their differences, it's a matter of someone who is so outspoken about the absurdity of a belief system on stage yet considering how hostile Scientologists are to critics of their beliefs the movie was finished. Carlin probably never met face to face with Lee and Lee was probably not yet scientologist.

[DeimosSaturn]

Even Kevin Smith himself is vocal about his opposition to organized religion especially Catholicism but as with any actor, they are professional and try to not create a hostile work environment. However, there are exceptions to this as we hear about on TMZ all the time. There are celebrity Scientologists who get crazy when someone mentions Xenu. You don't think David Cross wouldn't have brought it up ONCE to Lee? They were in a ton of scenes together.

[DeimosSaturn]

Maybe I'm projecting, but If I were in a movie with any Scientologist, I would have been chomping at the bit to talk about their beliefs to see why they believe what they believe. Especially if one of my stand up bits was about how goofy scientology is. It just shows that David Cross is more hollywood than he wants people to believe. He knows to keep his mouth shut about xenu around Jason Lee and Will Smith. I still like David Cross's comedy, I was only breaking balls.

[LeftoverJedi]

@DeimosSaturn Well man, with all do respect I am a retail worker and an atheist and there are times when I have to work with and serve people with beliefs I personally think are nonsense, however, I can't stand there and have a debate with them over it because I would lose my job.

[LeftoverJedi]

@DeimosSaturn Well man, with all do respect, I am a retail worker and an atheist and there are times when I have to work with and serve people with beliefs I personally think are nonsense, however, I can't stand there and have a debate with them over it because I would lose my job.

[stlchucko]

@DeimosSaturn You're missing the point. The one thing they all have in common: MONEY and the desire of it. If you can't bite you're tongue to get paid to work with someone you don't agree with; you'd be a broke MF.

Cross worked with a scientologist on a children's movie... Whoopity doo. What is he supposed to do to earn your favor; open up an new Auschwitz for Scilons to rid the earth of their vile beliefs. Get over it. You're acting as if Cross and Lee hold hands while reading Dianetics.

[makemarker]

@LaDay1471 true, I am also an atheist but will always welcome a believer in my home if we talk about something else other then religion.

[SuperTrancend]

@LaDay1471 hes probably like fuck it its not like general society is listening to him.

[TheMaowao]

@LaDay1471 "you dont seperate yourself from others just because of their beliefs."....well said sir! (or lady lol)

[Yudovitch]

@LaDay1471 Well said :)

[shade1978x]

@LaDay1471 I knew a guy who was a hardcore Christian. All he ever did was try, not so subtlely, to convert me. Making unannounced trips to Christian stores that sell candles and little knick-knacks. He was almost laughably suspicious of people being gay and trying to make him gay, as well as being suspicious of women trying to hit on his wife because they were lesbians. Looking back, it was so strange.

[jensenc86]

@LaDay1471 I didn't know that there aren't atheist in the world that don't separate themselves from others for their own beliefs? What about Stalin, Mussolini, or Pol Pot? I guess killing people for not conforming to your beliefs doesn't count for them? I acknowledge that not all atheist are like these gentlemen, but I simply think we should give Christians the same respect. To state generalizations as an absolute concerning a people group is quite "separating."

[LaDay1471]

@jensenc86 So whats the deal with christians ALWAYS trying to link Stalin,Pol Pot & ect to atheist might I ask?The people you just mentioned are nationalist & communist which isnt a belief system but a structure of the state,they might not have been christian themselves but wanted people to worship there autority and fear it.NOTHING to do with atheism.Being an atheist is just a mind set of needing proof to believe things that arent proven,but christians do teach if ur not with him ur against him

[Hectom8]

@LaDay1471 indeeed religion separates people and not unite them

[BeBoBli]

@LaDay1471

I disagree. And I know others (personally) agree... I don't know if by your vote up count that some are in denial about it or I'm mistaken/have a skewed perspective as I live in the bible belt. But beyond having strange views, they seem very unwise & consciously null. They seem vulnerable to gullibility and a bad influence. I think if you were surrounded by these kinds of people you might feel the same, as would David Cross. I just presume it's not the case for you two.

[SuperTrancend]

@DeimosSaturn he probably did do it for the money so when the time comes he can leave this shit whole country if need be.

[seanw25]

@DeimosSaturn I would agree with you, but sadly if Cross wants to work in hollywood at all, then he will have to work with scientologists at least some of the time, if not most of the time.

[valarmorghul1s]

@DeimosSaturn Implying that Scientology is even slightly more batshit that any other religion

[beradero]

@DeimosSaturn Right! Every atheist should refuses work with anyone that practices a religion.. Why don't you go to your job HR and demands that every theist be fired immediately? Then go back here and say if it worked..

[Ruffhouse789]

@DeimosSaturn He's a comedian...He thinks Scientology is hilariously stupid...Can you think of a better way to get some laughs?

[terracottapie]

@DeimosSaturn This has to be a troll. Really? As atheists we should never have religious people as co-workers when taking a job? What kind of world do you want to live in?

[svendiamond]

@DeimosSaturn LOL you're getting more responses than any message i've ever seen on YouTube. and rightfully so. what you said is so fucked up on so many levels. you discredit Cross entirely just because of his co-star in a chipmunks movie???

[sikok93453]

@DeimosSaturn You say "9/11 Truther" likes it's a bad thing. What about building 7?

[DeimosSaturn]

@sikok93453 L-O-fucking-L

[squfucs]

@DeimosSaturn What are you talking about? What does making money and doing your job have to do with religious beliefs? How does Jason Lee believing in something affect David Cross's beliefs? Do you not get humor, do you think this opening joke was a serious statement?

[DeimosSaturn]

I'm going to type this as a general response to all the dingle berries who have been responding to my pointing out of David Cross's hypocrisy.

I am a big fan of Mr. Show and Run Ronnie Run. I am a big fan of cynicism. Mr. Show and Run Ronnie Run was in part about pointing out the soulless nature of American pop culture and Hollywood. He also lambasts Scientology on a couple of his CDs. Now Cross was in, of all movies, The Chipmunks. My point is, I cannot

[DeimosSaturn]

take David Cross's critique of the disgusting nature of Hollywood, major studio production companies, and religion seriously anymore, because he has demonstrated himself to be a sycophant. The fact that Jason Lee is a scientologist is THE LEAST of it. What I'm rolling my eyes at is the fact that Cross was in the fucking chipmunks movie. As such, his critique of the "crass commercialism" in hollywood and its total lack of integrity or principles, cannot be taken seriously anymore.

[lifeisublime]

@DeimosSaturn you LIKED run ronnie run? whatre you fucking deaf and blind? somebody oughta rub the brail off your keyboard. stfu.

[head909]

Dream on, Cookie Monster.

You’re really just part of …

Lucid the novel  dot com

[masternick100]

Its a friendly bullet with a hat! lmao