Inner Bonding: Core Self, Wounded Self

[Pamoc]

interesting..but if the child was always controlled by parents into doing what they want/consider right and saw his worthiness in just abiding by what other people wanted from him, then the wounded child wants to be controlled by other people, otherwise he feels miserable...in that case why should the wounded self be terrified of being controlled by someone, like Margaret said? :O)...

[innerbond]

I see it a bit differently. The child saw his worthiness in the approval, not in abiding by what other people wanted from him. He gave himself up to get the approval, and it is the giving himself up that caused the terror of engulfment. As long as a person defines himself or herself by others approval, they may fear being controlled by another.

[nightgrooveruk]

blessings