Television Crime Shows Suck

[seeingwrackspurts]

The ads on this just now are GEEK DATING. haha xD

[Snowshitshirlock]

YOU AND JOHN SHOOULD MAKE A CRIME SHOW XD

[Snowshitshirlock]

Mentalist is still good.... but the other ones are lame :p

[miekka968]

I like crime shows but I still think they should be banned. It always shows the killer doing a stupid mistake that wasn't very obvious but it shows people how to avoid doing those mistakes. So basically, crime shows like the how-to-not-get-caught-after-a-­murder shows.

[TheTwoGeeks]

Hank at his best!

[WOWretardedfriends]

Pwner. I will now refer to everything as pwner.

[hobbitandwife]

As a criminal justice major and a hopefully soon-to-be-police officer, this song made me so so very happy.

[McGeek1220]

Of course I'm a fan of NCIS *points to name* but aside from shows like Psych and monk, I'm not really into those shows. I guess I'm more of a dramedy type of cop shows

[LivFenton96]

criminal minds special victims unit is the most horrible thing i have ever seen EVER :(

[dean84921]

pwner! this machine pwns n00bs! THIS IS WHERE IT STARTED......

[XxTheSakuraxX]

"And the girl gets kidnapped"

Poor Reid...he's now the girl

[ShaiChanOreo]

Pwner... I almost fell off my chair laughing XD and I had an english exam earlier today.

[224doughboy]

boner pwnr



[UnknownEntryRetype]

I believe I now know how the guitar ended up with "This Machine Pwns Noobs" on it then :-P

[iggyrocks1]

I love BBC Sherlock... but that was based of a book series... kinda...

[cazziethebeast]

Best Crime Shows:

-Psych

-Monk

-Criminal Minds

-Doctor Who

:D

[FreeHugsAndPeeps]

@cazziethebeast Doctor Who? As a crime show? O_o

[harrypotterislife95]

@cazziethebeast since when is Doctor Who a crime show?

[mllover13]

I actually have a recurring nightmare about David Caruso and his sunglasses...

[alinat2008]

I know... But you have to agree that some characters are awesome.

[thatonefreckledgirl]

but Criminal Minds is amazing! I think Reid is actually the 3rd vlogbrother. 

[Dinozar415]

Monk. Your argument is invalid.

[nikkicarter11]

Well Hank, I have my own song for you, and it doesn't rhyme but it goes like this: Castle Criminal Minds Cold Case Bones The Mentalist and Psych SVU way back when NCIS and Sherlock...Doctor Who technically fights crime as well... This list goes on forever television's getting better and it all... Umm... Started with the big bang (bang!)

[totallyeni]

@nikkicarter11 castle is so awesome! also Psych :D

[Monovlogue]

Castle!? Come on, who doesn't love Nathan Fillion!

[timetravellingowl]

And what about Bones?! Don't tell me you don't like Bones!!

[kittiekat10105]

Dude, what about NCIS? I think they do a really good show!

[chexmixultimate]

No. No no. I'm sorry, Hank, but I think quite a few of them are breaking the mold here. And even the ones that are a bit cliché, well... I like guessing the bad guy before they find out. It makes me feel like a detective and everyone likes that.

[swordfish1929]

Agree as far a CSI is concerned. But I do like NCIS especially the first two seasons (with Kate). Illya...I mean Ducky is the most awesome character on American TV crime dramas. As far as the Brits go one word SHERLOCK

[SophChennio726]

Okay, if you actually want good crime, pick up any Agatha Christie book.

[th3nugget97]

Benedict Cumberbatches (bbc) sherlock is brilliant.

[GONEmypurpleflapjack]

@th3nugget97 I still don't believe that's his real name, but he's a hella good actor on a hella good show.

[chipiy172]

psych ftw

[TheMickbab]

Soon, that machine will pwn n00bs.

[hellohowareyou90]

this makes me smile because his guitar has yet to start pwning noobs::)

[plushalligator]

i always find myself dancing by the end of hank's songs

[CSElliot14]

I would have to agree that the /plots/ to crime shows are getting trite, but I like to watch for the characterization. The thing with television is that logic is always subservient to plot, and the plot is subservient to ratings. Therefore, the only area where the writers can get creative is with the characters. That's why I like Criminal Minds, they do have some creative, though often unlikely, plots and some really great characters and character interactions that always keep me coming back.

[CSElliot14]

@CSElliot14 Though I will admit that at times it can get really cliche.

[rockinrolldog]

Psych is hilarious though

[Cobalt360Degrees]

as much as i agree with this i don't think i can give up on Criminal Minds. not just yet...

[sksnaperules]

oh and Rizzoli and Isles

[sksnaperules]

I've known this for years, been finishing lines from characters in crime shows that i haven't seen before. great song, but i can't give up on N.C.I.S. and Harry's Law.

[rosephoeniix]

I am impressed! Fixing glasses whilst playing guitar!

My hero..

[Asstasticplastic2]

i like some... but i hate the CSI's... The first one was ok.. then they made another... then another.... and then they started changing them and making them worse...

[Iammejustthatone]

Love it but I will always love NCIS and Bones and I have to say Rizzoli&Isles is pretty good too.

[PurringCheshire]

Awesome and very true! :D

...But I still love Bones and NCIS. :)

[TammiBloo]

@TheArrizle Amg yes, White Collar! Neal Caffery makes me tingle. XD

[Scorpsed]

VlogBrothers over Crime shows every day.

[TheArrizle]

SVU, Psych, White Collar, NCIS...?

[ThisFutureAuthor]

NCIS IS THE BEST TV CRIME SHOW EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL ALWAYS LOVE IT EVEN WHEN THEY RUN OUT OF THINGS TO HAPPEN!!!!!!!!!!! I WONT LOVE IT AS MUCH IF THEY KEEP BRINGING BARETT BACK THOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[rickoroni1]

MAGNUM PI

[hp4tw]

What bout psych?

[riceballwithaBOMB]

You just described Bones. But.....it took them like 6 seasons to screw.....still amazingness!

[MichelleTEditor]

Am I the only person who actually agrees with Hank on this one? The benefits of growing up without cable TV...

[omgoctopusomg]

NCIS. that show has has a crapload of plot twists....

[mpiikge]

immature

[TaffytheOtter]

but he watches bones....

[MrRedneckfishgitter]

a ten word comment is not a posibility at all

[Shelleystarkid]

But criminal minds and the mentalist is about the science and criminlogy which is really awesome and interesting

[KobayashiMaru89]

But Psych and Monk are awesome because they focus on the characters more than the murders, and are epically hilarious!! And, of course, NCIS...because NCIS is just made of awesome! ;D

[DoritVlogs]

@KobayashiMaru89 I LOVE YOU those are my fave shows.

[KobayashiMaru89]

@DoritVlogs haha, *highfive* you have very good taste in shows! ;D

[JustHere2AmuseMyself]

@KobayashiMaru89 I would have to add 'The Mentalist' to that list of awesome.

[BubbaHoggit]

@KobayashiMaru89 From what I've seen, NCIS is horrid. I watched one episode of it, and solved the whole thing within 5 minutes.

[spocklivesforever]

@KobayashiMaru89 Those happen to be my favorite, for that exact reason. Specifically like Monk, where there is little romance ever and it's not at all the main focus. And NCIS, where sure there's romantic tension, but its just hilarious.

[KobayashiMaru89]

@spocklivesforever Exactly! :)

[LMC931]

Criminal Minds is AMAZING!

[Rawlyssa]

DEXTER! It has solving crime in it and it's different and :D

[cookrealfood]

Hawaii 5-0 is the best cause they don't even pretend to have respect for women =)

[VanillaOrchid95]

Only crime shows I watch are Psych and Monk, they are brilliant.

[Ytinasniiable]

Psych is the best, because instead of focusing on the rehashed crimes, it focuses on the characters.

[merksmirs]

that's where the noobs pwning machine of Hank was born. I was waiting for that one. Still waiting for french the lama

[MegaCalvinHobbes]

I like Monk though. D:

[11leeman]

seriously, they need to stop making crime and cop shows...its getting really old. The are all so ridiculous but predictable and its getting sad.

[thisisntchristine]

@xavdante it most certainly is :)

[DoctorSolus]

BONES!!!

[paigelfinch]

Thus the Pwner was born.

[queenofeveryone]

Psych. It's totally genius and hilarious.

[SynesthesiaSoup]

CRIMINAL MINDS <3

[owlhead7777]

CRIMINAL FREAKING MINDS!!!!!!!! AMAZZZIIINNNGGGGG!!!!!! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

[SynesthesiaSoup]

@owlhead7777 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[sgtfwoods]

detectives are not hot at all, have you seen the First 48?

[TammiBloo]

CRIMINAL MINDS FTW!

Sorry, I love you Hank. I really do...

but I'm pretty certain that I love Dr. Spencer Reid more.

[SynesthesiaSoup]

@TammiBloo WOOHOOO! <3

[GONEmypurpleflapjack]

@TammiBloo Who doesn't?

[theghostintheattic]

@TammiBloo I was about to leave the exact same comment.Reid is love.

[smileydude64s]

@TammiBloo For the win, or, F*ck the world?

[GONEmypurpleflapjack]

@TammiBloo 42 likes!

[kevinmac631]

@TammiBloo Thats the truest thing i'ves een all day

[xavdante]

is this where this machine pwns n00bs came from?

[mikeloaf]

not cool Hank, Det. Columbo is made of awesome, and you just made an enemy of a one-eyed ghost.

[TeachMeSpazzymcgee16]

wouldn't that include Bones? A show you admit to enjoying? HUH?!?

[lukeshdoesntknow]

I gave this vid 5 stars

[GONEmypurpleflapjack]

Criminal Minds: Because Hotch can beat Weeping Angels.

[TheImaginaryStar]

Sabrina the Teenage Witch always said the 23rd time's the charm :)

[SnuggieFullOfEvil]

So thaaaaats how The Pwner was born.

[Lammstrellicon]

My grandparents thought your name was "Bob" I'm ashamed so ashamed.

[vixenaya]

Found you this morning before heading to work and you're my new favorite youtube personality. I especially love the fact that in one of your videos you are in a room with an InuYasha poster on the wall.... WIN~!!!!!

[MONS1EURFOL1E]

I love he still finds time to adjust his glasses, even while playing the guitar! =P

[97Scarygirl]

I like bones.

[MrYoyojuan]

I saw a pretty good episode of Lewis the other day.

[TheRaygunTribe]

i love CSI, NCIS, law & order and criminal minds and not even Hank can take that from me.

[ThisFutureAuthor]

@TheRaygunTribe NCIS is pretty much my life.

[youwithaface]

But... But... NCIS is good. And Leroy Jethro Gibbs is awesomer than Chuck Norris.

[xyaoixanimexfanx]

@youwithaface It is awesome. But it is also formulaic. Especially at season 9. Doesn't make it any less entertaining though! =)

[henrycatgoesmeow]

@youwithaface YES. NCIS is just great. ^_^

[neonreport]

@youwithaface no one is better than Chuck Norris...nuff said...

[asombrosodios]

@youwithaface

[That0Fit0Guy]

@youwithaface YES!

[jmaster1324]

@youwithaface Well Jimmy Gibbs Jr. is more famous the Fried Chicken

[CagedWisdom42]

Police Squad: In Color!

I win.

[puppyluveromg]

PSYCH!

[ChelsieOliviaa]

The start. Of the Pwner.

Because you know.

That machine pwns n00bs. 

[JoyRay156]

I love that one sexy glare Hank shoots at the camera. *swoon*

[RaccoonInACocoon]

hey, don't insult columbo

[massizme]

Psych, bro. Defies expectaions at every turn.

[whitewashedlife]

BBC SHERLOCK. That's all I have to say.

[aKISSinTHEmoonlighT]

Castle is a win though.

[aortasuds]

@aKISSinTHEmoonlighT literally about to post that haha

[tacoismykitty]

Columbo rules.

[animelove151]

The number 23 haunts me...

It is the day of my birthday.

For some reason an important number in Drama Club.

It is my apartment number.

And... I see it EVERY WHERE!

If anyone knows why the number 23 is such an important number, or have thought of some ridiculous conspiracy for said number.

Please, tell me.

NERDFIGHTERS!!

[thegirlfromUNCLE]

@animelove151 Ever seen LOST? 4 8 15 16 23 42

[AlwaysAPotterhead]

@animelove151 Well, 23 is one of the LOST numbers (4 8 15 16 23 42). They followed the survivors around their whole life. I know that doesn't help but It's all I could think of.

[oilboyy]

@animelove151 I understand that 23 represents the phenonenon of synchronicity, which is events that aren't causally related happening concurrently for a reason, as opposed to coincidentally. Fate/destiny/some grand design, basically.

[OneNOnlyBabydoll]

Castle?

[nipols]

I beg to differ Breaking Bad is not bad at all... one of the few American shows that I truly like.

[DyingPickle]

Well it's how the crime is committed and done that's interesting sometimes. :3

DFTBA!!

[Tahonamaya]

I'm a girl, and I find powner to be hilarious.

[Tahonamaya]

WHAT ABOUT BONES??????????? Apologies for the all caps, but.... it needed to be said.

[HungryLionCAT]

What about Monk‽ Monk is awesome!

[HungryLionCAT]

@HungryLionCAT Why yes, that is an interrobang :)

[bluenelephant]

@HungryLionCAT O.o your interrobang made me smile xD

[blackdragonshard]

A very very catchy song, don't agree with it though......and I think that he's only talking about crime shows starting with the letter "C" (CSI to Colombo) ha ha

[Teematt11]

Super Frenchy?

[godwin972]

NO 23 IS BACK!

[TheHannaFactor]

hank i can not believe you used the word starting with s

you could have just said 'kiss', you know

and also - pwner?

boys just never learn, and, boys will be boys and, any other cliche you can think of

[puppyluveromg]

@TheHannaFactor Screw? It's not a bad word. Also - whats wrong with pwner ~A girl

[suparlolipop]

Detective Conan (Anime/manga) does not conform to this system of horribly unoriginal collection of crime stories and is in fact what many people call, "AMAZING". I would agree with this description of the show because it is just that cool.

ps. i looked down, saw another detective conan comment and was like :DDD OMG

Chk Chk, Pow

[Twihard101ish]

CRIMINAL MINDS-3

[CrazedAuthor]

@Twihard101ish Spencer Reid ftw!!

[ArtemisScribe]

there is a fabled episode of CSI where the guy gets away with it!!! I thought it wasn't true but then i saw it and my mind was blown

[Jaws913]

Do you wanna know a crime show that's good? Scooby Doo.

[ClaireLaBear11]

@Jaws913 That show is so amazing. I love all the old ones

[ellieanorable]

oh my god this is so true! love this song :)

[stude444]

I actually cant physically do the nerdfighter thing, my fingers medically cant seperate like thatn, and I cant seem to get my arms to move in motion. I can still type though, but I make a lot of mistakes.

[MegaBookWormGirl]

You're forgetting Detective Conan!

Sure, everyone dies in strange ways... cause really, who murders their girlfriend by sticking her in a car sealed with ducktape and puts a camp stove in there so she'll die from the carbon dioxide?

But there's no sexual tension because he can't tell her how he feels cause he was drugged and now looks like a 7 year old and has this crime organization trying to find him so the less she knows the better.

Oh man, I just realized how rediculous that all sounds.

[puppyluveromg]

@MegaBookWormGirl i think you mean carbon Monoxide.

[thisisntchristine]

Is this where "this machine pwns n00bs came from?"

[HariSlate]

@thisisntchristine Yes, along with the 'This Machine Kills Fascists' thing by Woodie Guthrie, which is mentioned in Paper Towns.

[4LiveLifeWithLove4]

Oh, Hank, thanks for officially proving what we all knew is true.

Men, even close to their 30's, never mature past those teenage jokes.

I mean, pwner?? Really Hank?

[Thisismyusername1010]

I think that you're right about the general ideas of crime shows (I watch WAY too many) but the main reasons I watch them is for the characters and creative basis. For example:

Psych: fake-psychic detective

Monk: obsessive-compulsive detective

Numb3rs: guy who solves crime with math (seriously, who'd ever think of that?)

NCIS: I just love the quirky characters

White Collar: art-thief-turned-FBI-consultan­t-who-is-still-tempted-by-his-­old-ways-but-grows-to-care-for­-his-partner

See? Awesome.

[princessemiko]

ahhh columbo :)

[roborovskihamsters]

Very cool :)

[1DodgerDog1]

...... except the original law and order. 

[Paulthemapguy]

You should make another song called "Take 23."

[princessyrandom1214]

I have no idea what that tweet said either

[JJEO1F]

This was posted on my Birthday. :D

[antisnotabug]

I love you so much for this. So, so much.

[RofolosRebels]

PWNER! in ur pants

[Truthless101]

This Guitar Pwns N00bs!!

[olivianessDFTBA]

@Truthless101

this MACHINE pwns n00bs :)

[ColdRiceBall]

Fantastic work on the song. It's very true....

[andrineslife]

@111knucklehead Oh knucklehead.

[o0SomeRandomGirl0o]

Monk and Psych. Exceptions. Only two.

[andrineslife]

@o0SomeRandomGirl0o BBC's Sherlock, there's three :)

[rainabraina]

"I find that to be a very fun joke."

Yes Hank, its ok to use that joke.

[animeguysaremylife]

CRIMINAL MINDS <3

[Key2MyHeart13]

I think NCIS and Psych are the only exceptions I know of to this song xD

[BritishElliephant]

*cough* YOU FORGOT ABOUT SHERLOCK. <33 That show is THE BOMB.

[deathnotefan386]

god, pressing 1 makes it look like hank's about to sneeze and it bugs the holy hell out of me *rubs nose

[Calep0802]

23 ... the number is everywhere !!!

[EmbryzImprint]

That machine pwns noobs.... (:

[tvshowaholic]

I LOVE crime shows... And for that reason, this song amused me intensely.

[4LiveLifeWithLove4]

3:01

Yup, and the teenage boy inside Hank makes a VERY obvious appearence.

[SuperGleadr]

Your all right... except for Dexter



[Khrissy309]

Bones and CSI: New York! They may be all the same but I love it!!!

[jomiliakas]

Aww.. I like CSI :D

[hardcorehunter1]

200 people broke down and told them exactly how it was done.