How the Narcissist Sees "Normal People"

[Exsugarbabe1]

People who go about how great they are need laughing at! Has anyone noticed how over confident types get very popular while quieter probably more stable people fade into the background.

[Chrisindapurplehouse]

I dunno I might be a narcissist I genuinly do care about and I try to do the right thing and be kind and stuff so that sort goes against what a narcissist is but all my life I've been made to feel worthless by my parents and bullies when I get praise or get made to feel smart of useful or honest and kind I revel in I'm not an attention seeker in fact I shy away from attention but I do crave to feel those things to be needed and I know I shouldn't

[MrIGiveAFuck]

@Chrisindapurplehouse we all get insecure now and again, and need love and attention from our peers. You sound normal to me.

[returnoftheramble]

you've been tricked. 

[JenniferBrower]

I recently found your book and it was very helpful. Your book helped me a lot when recovering from a narcissistic abusive marriage and then a relationship that followed immediately.

[beki4peace]

I feel sorry for you that you suffer from narcissm. You seem like a very likeable person.

[mikejessmax]

I've been inhaling your website! My friend was married to one and after divorcing & being stalked by him, she was little by little rebuilt her life.

[WarblesOnALot]

@walkabout16 G'day... Well. My view remains that I'm more a light Potpouri of Anti-Social PD, Paranoid PD, Schizoid PD, & Post-Traumatic Head-Injury Syndrome ; boiled down to a fulminating Over-Compensated Inferiority- Complex... So. I'm Neurotic. Meanwhile, the Normals light fires to make food go cold. Psychotics, all ! They are out of touch with Reality, by ALL their own Measuring Criteria. Hmmm ? They pay my Pension, for Narcissistic PD & Anti-Social Traits.

[markwvonderohe]

You are not describing a Narcissists in your video. What you are describing to me is what the Narcissists wants you to feel like to try and convince you that you are the problem and not him. I have watched many other videos on youtube about the same subject by reputable therapists that say the opposite. Please use caution when listening to this guy.

[metalreign1]

@markwvonderohe -agreed

[daniliver]

So many of you spotted the deception in this video , gz . Take a look at the big nose of this guy xD. OFC this is not the characteristics of a narcissist person , but just of a good person with some degree of autism due to vaccines trying to make friends being usefull to others.

[HTFAmvs]

@daniliver gz. xD

[SherryLaneify]

their ,good' side (Ill stick to that semi-schizophrenia) hates the disappointend reactions, that come from their actions, wants to understand, entertain and make happy (or better said ,cares' and looks for people's ,real' needs). the negative side doesn't give a fuck and also gets a boost by masochistic behaviour. I think a lot of narcissist suffer from themselves.

[SherryLaneify]

think it's sth like very little time of attention they want to give to others, it's like some videogame or pictures are constantly running through their head, combined with the deep conviction that others are boring or to some extend not worth attention.

So if they give attention and even try to do sth good in a situation

(which is often giving the person a good or bad feedback) it's still much less than people expect from a normally-interested person (especially when one was idealized first).

[TheCessnaDriver]

Yeah. Seems opposite of what the narciccist's inner voice would most likely be like : /

[smallpeckerman]

Hey i've got a huge question for ya...here goes......What is 'NORMAL'?? define??Where's the template for normalacy?

[pakih0m0]

@smallpeckerman Good question. normalcy is having a small pecker like you.

[jhawkowl]

I was thinking the same thing as myrna2381.

What would the dialogue of a victim of Narcissistic abuse be?

I think the Narcissist would believe nothing is his fault. I doubt he'd spend energy wondering how he created the behavior he sees in others. He'd blame them for being over sensitive, or insensitive to his feelings, etc... I think. He'd withdraw or lash out (depending on social relationship and sense of acceptability) as a "victim" of others not doing what he thinks they ought to do. No?

[jasnokodan]

Sorry to tell you, YOU are Narcissist!

[piloooogen]

@jasnokodan ....yes that´s the point search "I psychopath". He´s actually the ONLY one psychopath which has been able to make it to psychologist himself. And why? money.... selfish but in a good way for us (not his wife tho)

[HonorValorIntegrity]

Narcissists believe they are above society not beneath it >.< the person you describe is a normal person affected by multiple narcissists... A true narcissist: I don't understand why people don't praise me enough. Maybe they are jealous and would rather pretend not to notice how amazing I am. Did they not see they way my hair feathers so wonderfully at the tips? Come to think of it, none of them have hair as good as mine, it's no wonder they're jealous.

[Jackreyes81]

@myrna2381 Exactly what a narcissist would say, "I'm a victim of circumstances I didn't create, thus making me the victim at the same time rendering me helpless." What you kind of described sounds like a sociopath.

[ritabrophy1]

This is excellent but what you are describing to me sounds far more like an asperger's sydnrome person or someone with autistic tendencies.

[CinderellaDragon]

For me there are some perceptive points, but too many sweeping statements, and altogether it is a bit all over the place, perhaps not accounting for various idiosyncrasies, etc. 

[Ncyim]

What therapies others have tried in addressing NPD? My experience with Western Medicine was a complete waste of time. It wasn't until I found energy medicine and American Indian Shamanism that I started to come out of it. Deep meditation is another very useful tool to reprogram the mind and reparent the deepest level of consciousness.

[knowspin]

As far as the Narcissist I lived with, to sum it up she had a Master/Martyr complex...When you are the "MASTER" everyone is a servant, when you are the "MARTYR" everyone is a tyrant...she would interpret anything to meet her needs, and it became her reality...God I'm glad shes gone!

[KARSDAY]

I am leaving before I fall asleep !!

[CliveGains80s]

you were on tv. they did an hole hour on you.

[GeminiDream65]

I know....it is strange.....but the more I watch these videos the more I realize that I may be living with a Narcissist

[lesterclaypool1]

@GeminiDream65

I wouldn't worry too much. "Narcissist" gets thrown around a lot these days and has such a broad spectrum that anyone could be "diagnosed". The truth is people who act out in this way are looking for those who won't pander to them. Most anyone will say that what they liked most about heir spouse was that the spouse called them on their bullshit.

[okkwood]

way off, Mister. 

[amyyyamy]

god my parents are both like this, especially my father. it's exhausting- he thinks he can do everything better than everyone else. he goes to help people even though they didn't ask for it. it comes across so annoying

[TheNewday2]

My oldest sister

[imshippyupup]

Unfortunately you aren't differentiating between people with significant social anxiety and the narcissist. There are some similar symptoms.

[Gonzotabb]

@imshippyupup The main difference is that the narcissist thinks people hate him because they think he is better than them or that they are jealous in some way. People with social anxieties tend to think people they meet hate them because they are inferior in some way, physically, socially, or intellectually. I do wish he would have differentiated more clearly between the two though.

[footsong]

You are just being real ad saying forgive what ever, beforwe anyone dared to say the same

[QueefJuicer]

Nope, Masochism comes quickly after that stage.

Thats when we finally understand that only narcissists and sociopaths should remain.

[blackwayfarers]

@Atlanticcmsi exactly. i hope no one is taking this as fact

[QueefJuicer]

@blackwayfarers Normal people are too emotional and overdramatic.

[blackwayfarers]

this sounds a lot like me, and not like a narcissist. i smell a conspiracy!

[freshsprout]

Sam Vaknin - I didn't know you were on here, wow! Thanks so much for your service to thousands, perhaps millions of people out there who have been hurt by the crazy narcissists in this world. I remember coming across your online articles 5 yrs ago, dealing with a pathological narcissist at work.. but then seeing that unfold with my friends, relations, and so much more. Your work was the tip of the icecap for what was a huge journey in recovery. Glad to see the real you. Keep it up! Bless you.

[nperk10195]

continuing - the degree varies a lot - it is wrapped up in brain chemistry problems - so there is a need to stimulate the production of "feel-good brain chemicals" - some need alcohol, various drugs such as pot to squelch any guilt or remorse - again greed, faulty ego needs, and appetites may fuel a narcissist - drugs, adulation, alcohol, food, and sex may be the motivators for these people. Ego stroking is a big one....

[nperk10195]

Yes they do know they are different but the lack of conscience won't allow them to care re: difference nor be able to do anything about it - they just don't have the ability to care - mostly because of the childhood abuse, their brains are hard-wired the way it is. The extreme narcissists are usually socio/psychopaths -the really scary ones - it seems to me that they can only think about self-preservation and how to fulfill their desires - it could be flamed by greed, ego, and/or appetites.

[AlsDasVerderben]

Do narcissists understand that they are different? Do they know that they are selfish?  Where is the line as to how much they know about themselves in relation to others?

[LivingInEnvy]

@AlsDasVerderben Narcissism does not equal selfishness. A Narcissist may give of themself to look perfect and loved. They are not being selfish in their actions, but have a secret agenda.

[AlsDasVerderben]

@LivingInEnvy Is their secret agenda known to themselves? Do they do whatever is possible in order to be loved, or do they do this without consideration of others?

[LivingInEnvy]

@AlsDasVerderben They know what they are doing, unless they are highly delusional they don't do it to be loved, but to appear to be of greatness. The better they come off the better they are so to speak and thats what a narcissist cares about, the perception of others about themselves. They arent always ignorant of others feelings, and like i said may be quite charitable people. They just desire to be viewed as perfect and obsess over it.

[nperk10195]

Read "A Dance with the Devil" - books by Martha Stout - there are several great ones -

Otto Kernberg "Borderline Conditions and Pathological Narcissism (dry but factual) many other realted books like "Trapped in the Mirror - Adult Children of Narcissists" -- Marlene Steinberg has a book related to narcissism - about dissociation "The Stranger in the Mirror - the Hidden Epidemic" she says millions or Americans suffer from dissociation -- I agree!!

[nperk10195]

I watched all the narcissism videos and began reading and studying bec. I met up close a true narcissist and sociopathic person - if interested read Robert Hare - expert in narcisstic diagnosis he developed the PCL Hare Psychopathy Scale - read "Without Conscience- The disturbing world of Psychopaths among us" - "Snakes in Suits - when psychopaths go to work" (today sociopathic and psychopathic are so close they are pretty much considered the same disorder and the terms used interchangeably.

[nperk10195]

The problem is that they seem normal until they have sucked you in.

Obama is a total narcissist!

[jadujen]

@nperk10195 don't be in idiot. (your first sentence was true, though.)

[nperk10195]

@jadujen read some more on the subject - I have - these people are hard-wired - I am a retired bio-chemistry teacher and hardly an idiot - have 11 transcripts - also an educated computer analyst - have read and studied a lot since meeting a real nar/soc - they can't relate to anyone - they can't soul search - they have no remorse - no conscience - no frame of reference of right or wrong - they can't be taught empathy or sympathy - no honesty - charismatic - and deadly to society...

[jadujen]

@nperk10195 What does being an "educated" computer analyst have to do with it?? Or Obama, for that matter? You can hate him or think he's dumb, but he's not a real narcissist. A narcissist is not the same as a sociopath. Also, there are distinctions between emulating empathy, as in mimicking it, and learning to actually feel for others. I think it's amazing that they ARE so charismatic~ and they are. (Which should prove the point about Obama, as he really is not charismatic.)

[nperk10195]

@jadujen <-- a poster called me an idiot that disagreed -I am no longer sitting back like most conservatives, listening to the radical liberal baloney about Obama & his puppets - he is a true narcissist & sociopath - I began reading after I met my first narcissist/sociopath up close and personal in 2010-you have your opinion - I never said the two are the same; you say that - I read many books and continue studying these personality types - you prove nothing - he is charismatic

[jadujen]

@nperk10195 I just think that using a prominent politician as an example of narcissism is a poor example, because you can't know these people intimately. So they are NOT proving your point. It's fine & lovely to "read alot of books" about it, but better to study the real live workings of one, as it provides more understanding. Wouldn't you agree? Anyways, Obama may be well-spoken, or something else, but he is NOT really that charismatic. Maybe you have never known a really charismatic person

[nperk10195]

@jadujen are you kidding me - at my age, with my background, and experience, I have met lots - did EST in LA with Werner --- now he was charismatic - you probably don't what I'm talking about - grad school -I'm retired so I have the time to post, think, read etc...

[myrna2381]

This does not sound like a narcissist's inner or outer dialog. This sounds like a social phobic person or a victim of narcissistic people. Narcissists seem to be incapable of or even interested in attempting this type of soul searching.

[elkidsays]

@myrna2381 I agree. I was diagnosed with C-PTSD & a lot of what I hear him talk about in these videos seems at least loosely to remind me of myself. Its all just too vague. A lot of people who hear examples like this about psychopaths, schizophrenics etc tend to run with it. They then think they understand when they dont & go around pointing fingers accusing people of mental illnesses. I have low tolerance for what I think is stupid s**t. If that makes me a N then I dont give a crap.

[hermit88]

@myrna2381 I totally agree. Narcissists are virtually incapable of thinking about other people's feelings and they never engage in self-reflection about how other people perceive them. Other people are just objects to narcissists. Most of Dr V's videos are good, but he is sadly mistaken in this one.

[Xalxitz]

@hermit88 Replace Narcissists with psychopaths. What's the difference?

[cjn9999]

@hermit88 I think this is true, especially at the more early ages. I believe some narcissists may try to adapt, but this is out of a parental unit or some outside agency calling them out, and may be a short lived, sort of quasi self reflection. During a period of attempted change (which may be manipulation in itself), this occurs, but most likely is quickly forgotten.

[alfredtorrearchirafi]

@myrna2381 I agree with you. I have read extensively on narcissism and this guy is off base

[brucec43]

@myrna2381 Agree, this sounds quite unlike my impression of a narcissist.

[gayproud1]

@myrna2381 No. What he ment was they r not saying it out load unless if he has had seen a narcissist breakdown of one. A narcissist would think this but never hardly say it because they don't want people to know. Also they do soul search because they easily attack people to them by what they wear and thinking they r speical. They would get into a relationship and swiss the other person off there feet then when they have them in love with him, then he plays games.

[patriciacarrasco]

@myrna2381 i agree w/ u but my mother is a narc. and lemme tell u she is ALWAYS and forever in her mind a victim! its incredible and sick! i just shake my head at how she can destroy her kids but...yet shes an awesome mother who is misunderstood. its disgusting. lemme give u an example: i reluctantly went to the supermarket w/ her and she was complaining to the point of tears that my brothers dont like any food she buys like it was some kind of great Greek tragedy! CONT.

[patriciacarrasco]

@patriciacarrasco she was like" oh ur brothers complain if buy something they dont like but then they dont tell me what to buy, im sick of them!" and she said all this w/ the most pathetic face as if they were torturing her and expected me to say " oh my poor mommy, theyre so evil!" why? because w/ her crocodile tears she always gets what she wants, the victim role has worked for her her whole life

[JosiahSCooper]

@myrna2381

That seems to be a more extreme case. Antisocial Disorder, more like it.

[bitethis47]

leave the narcissist alone..dont judge em....its a disorder.

[jadujen]

@bitethis47 are you kidding me? the problem is, most people aren't even aware, or else are scared to bring the issue to their attention. If they did, people could work on lessening their intensely selfish narcissistic behaviors. Things can be learned; other things can be unlearned.

[bitethis47]

@jadujen i think most people have some kind of narsisstic characteristics, or can develop it...depending on circumstances...but can u teach someone to develop empathy?? fr eg psychos done thave it..and never will..thats how they are hardwired.

[jadujen]

@bitethis47 I agree that most humans definitely have narcissistic tendencies, it's natural. But a true narcissist is different~goes beyond the normal self-centeredness that's natural. Even with their friends, spouse, closest family, they are really unable to FEEL anything when that person is experiencing something. They honestly cannot find it within themselves to care. They can learn to emulate empathy, but as to what extent, I think it depends on the person & their motivation.

[nperk10195]

@bitethis47 - after I met my first true narcissist/sociopath in 2010 - I began reading and studying - I am a retired college teacher of 40 years - bio-chemistry with 11 college transcripts so I am not a dummy - these people are deemed by the best psychiatrists in the world as not treatable - their brains are hard-wired because of childhood traumas basically I think that lots of people have these tendencies but it's a far cry from the blatant mental illness.

[bitethis47]

@nperk10195 oh..they may be evil but i dont think they chose to be that way...not everyone has the chance to be in a proper family or live in the right environment...i dont like condemning....but at the same time these people may harm others around them..I dont know what the solution may be. As long as they hurt people around them..let them be.

[bamby91111]

Sounds like you are describing my dad to a T

[MilwJay]

many good details & insights however you've built your house upon the shifting conceptual sands of psychologys "narcissism", "disorder", and "normal".

the definition of narcissism itself, ironically, treats people as inhuman objects

Yes there are childish assholes in the world. many beyond the average persons resources. but by sweepingly assuming them incapable of learning and loving..simply because "you" do not know how to teach them or worse do not want to try...is to dismiss their humanity

[sa1nt84]

Sam I am very serious about you getting a Phd.many things you say have not been said before in such a lucid and understandable way.just write them down systematically and find the references for the basic tenets of your theories and you will be able to publish them.I am a 100% sure on this.I have a Phd in psychopathy more or less in the same way.because I understand psychopathy so truly and deeply that I have profound insights that most people overlook, just like you.I have psychopathy myself ;)

[sa1nt84]

Spot on! very good Sam...you truly are an expert on narcissism, and very good at analyzing your own thoughts and feelings in order to understand a bigger picture of malignant narcissism...I know that you are a malignant narcissist yourself but only a few are so good at introspection and learn to understand why they alienate the world around them...why don't you get a real Phd, you have all the knowledge to get one...introduce these theories in 4 different papers..just do it..I have done the same

[sa1nt84]

I am very sorry for all the people who are discrediting this guy simply because of his background..all the things he says and tells about narcissism are very accurate and true, especially for those with malignant narcissism. I can know this since I have a Phd in the study of the etiology of psychopathy and malignant narcissism. However, he is describing the narcissist in such psychodynamic ways that it may be hard for the lay person and even unexperienced psychologists to understand everything..

[maryhadalittlelamb25]

LET THEM BE AROUND PPLTHAT CAN AND WILL PUT UPWITH THAT CRAP!

THE NPD THAT I WAS INVOLVED DOLED OUT GIFTS TO EVERYONE BUT ME...AFTERALL I DID FOR HIM...AND I RECEIVED NOTHING..... :(

TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE!

MY BEST WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH...SO THERE'S NO MORE TO GIVE... :(

[metalmike83]

Sounds just like me...jesus. I always wonder why people won't tolerate me very long...I think that I am too nice to them and I have an urge to act tough. Strangely enough, acting tough gets me a lot further usually than acting nice. Intimidation works to an extent but you can't be too intimidating or will lose the person..worse yet they might get you in serious shit. My dad is completely psychopathic and I've been told I am narcissistic. It always feels like I am being mistreated.

[lamuziq]

What's a normal person? The end.

[granfabrica]

THAT was impressive and spot on. I was in business with a narcissist and this internal dialog was exactly the vibe I was conveying - even while trying to be nice.

[jaivenmsn]

Stop speaking English like a Pakistani!

[Theobrothers]

Wait, so if I feel I entirely understand everyone, so much so that I can manipulate them to my will, I'm not a narcissist. Also if I don't detach myself by defining others as "normal people" I'm also not a narcissist.

Sweet. Go me.

[sa1nt84]

@Theobrothers no that means that you have good social cognition which is very different from emotional empathy....narcissists may develop good social cognition but they will always lack the emotional resonation with others and therefore may never be able to truly understand the moral reasons for doing things...and I'm sorry but if you understand other people so well that you can and will manipulate them without any remorse you might as well be psychopathic not narcissistic..

[Theobrothers]

@sa1nt84

Ya well, my point was, people who attempt to generalize others by using some robotic all encompassing definition, are "always arrogant ignorant pricks". ^.^

People can have some traits of narcissism, psychopathy, aspergers, as well as, that of a "normal" empathetic person. To say otherwise is just idiocy, and is based, not in science, but in some La La land of robotically consistent humans.

People have varied relations with others and act accordingly.

[4evrstrng]

Thank you for posting this. My husband has narcissism, and it can be difficult to live with. This monologue fits right in with how he interacts with me and others. I love him, and continue to stick by him, while also sticking up for myself. This is the choice I have made, regardless of what others think. I've often wondered how he can continue to think he does nothing wrong and is never at fault. I understand him better now. Thank you! This will help. :)

[4evrstrng]

@4evrstrng After reading this, I realized I might sound a bit preachy about sticking with a narcissistic spouse. That wasn't my intent. This is just what is right for me and my situation. And I appreciate any help I can get!

[charlotteamalie]

Sam, GET A LIFE!

You can start to cure your disorder maybe by volunteering at an animal shelter or a soup kitchen and try to act INTERESTED in the living creatures around you. Get out of your pajamas, brush your teeth, use mouthwash and take the bus to the nearest dog pound and start caring for something other than yourself.

Signed,

An Emphatic Individual

[Zerafinel]

@charlotteamalie Um. I know you're not talking to me, but I'd be grateful if you would explain what you mean? I'm trying to understand narcissism because of close contact with people who have these characteristics. These videos seem helpful to me.

[charlotteamalie]

@Zerafinel -Narcissists need to develop a sense of connection to the rest of humanity. They can adopt more emphatic behaviors such as: 1) learning to listen, value and understand others, 2) Avoid talking about themselves, 2) Spending time with people who are different such as, for Liberals, join the Tea Party, Conservatives can join a bowling league in the inner city. Charity work where they actually do something to benefit humanity is also good like in soup kitchens, animal shelters.

[charlotteamalie]

@Zerafinel - A great book I can recommend is "Emotional Vampires" by Albert J. Bernstein. This is the one book I can actually say saved my life!! Maybe it can save yours too! Good luck.

[kozychik]

@charlotteamalie Advice is usually well-intended, rarely helpful. As repugnant as narcissists are to me, I see no need for them to go out and get our version of 'a life'. I do these things you suggest, not because I feel obligated, but because I ENJOY it. Sam is also doing what he enjoys - and helping many multitudes of people in the process. I don't see what's so wrong in that. We have to start from where we are.

[charlotteamalie]

@kozychik - Sam's form of "help" is to further justify Narcissistic abuse. What you don't get is that the difference between you and a Narcissist is you actually believe in "Ramdom Acts of Kindness" whereas a Narcissist only thinks in terms of who he can abuse next. By the way, this advice is not mine, it comes directly from Dr. Albert Bernstein's book "Emotional Vampires" although he admits that there is no cure for narcissism, only perhaps "training" to act more human.

[kozychik]

@charlotteamalie Thanks, I'll check out that book. No one can speak for Sam's intentions; maybe he just enjoys speaking and the helpfulness some people find is a side effect that is irrelevant to him. But, in all the videos I've watched so far, I've never heard him state or imply that narcissistic abuse was justifiable. He said "Run" and if you must interact with them for some reason, here is how to deal with them and protect yourself. Live & let live. Why do you want more from him?

[DelusionDispeller]

@charlotteamalie I disagree. Sam's form of "help" is simply information about how the narcissist views things. I have watched and read his information for years, have a channel of my own, and have LIVED the things he talks about.

[charlotteamalie]

@DelusionDispeller - I hear ya! It's a scary world out there!

[Zerafinel]

Nobody wants to abandoned anyone hastily, but for the love of god. You don't want to give in return, why, because it feels like this "small favor" you're being "asked" has already been bought and paid for long time ago by this person, in HIS mind. As if he's showered you with billions of things you haven't asked for, and now you owe him, and now he expects to cash in on his investment. And thus you will never hear "thank you", for anything, because you're so deeply indebted. What the hell?

[fdparis21]

@Zerafinel my ex was like that...i realized he was doing that and asked him and he got mad at me for noticing. yea it doesn't even make sense to me, it shows me more and more than i probably couldnt have had a proper reaction to that

[Zerafinel]

@fdparis21 That's the worst part of it, isn't it. That you turn yourself inside out trying to understand, but in the end you can't understand completely, and you couldn't have done anything. It's like a language you can't speak.

[Zerafinel]

"I give so much" Oh my god. This is word for word what he says. He's rarely if ever been asked for all of these things, he will insist on giving them and gets insulted if someone refuses, and then he will remember all these "gifts" he's bestowed on you forever.

[hotgluegunfun1]

Is Sheldon's character on the hit show, Big Bang Theory a narcissists?

[TheGalaxyhopper]

Thanks, for a really nice presentation.........I learned a lot......

[creative3024]

Jeesh.

'You should feel grateful to take whatever we want from you'?

'We tolerate you'?

'We loathe you'?

If that is the way people act/treat someone is it any wonder he has a low opinion of them? You call people like that 'users'. If they cannot stand you they should take nothing from you. If they loathe you they should not associate with you at all.

[Laughingblades]

@creative3024 I imagine it's difficult for a narcissist, their egos are sick and often put people off, and they really need other people a lot of the time, they're like psychic vampires. Maintaining a relationship with a narcissist is a nearly impossible task because often no matter what you do for them, it's never enough, a lot of the time they simply no less and may even feel wounded if your efforts aren't good enough, and when they don't get their way they can throw spectacular tantrums.

[greenearthnazi20204u]

normal people are not normal that is there belief that they are normal.i can prove it you here is what people say in the army i would die for your belief ,that your beliefs and options matter you heard it all be for it plays to people egos.beliefs and options do not matter at all.only the truth and that you can find it and easily except it the other is wast of time feeding the ego it will tell you any thing .that make you feel good.normal people" have many problems as you can see their is more.

[unelady2]

I found that very sad, cause this is exaltly what my mom is saying all the time and I feel so soory for her. It must be so lonely in her world. She does try very hard to make thing work for herself but she is so controling of everyone that no one wants to be near her!

[Kathydrel]

It's always scary when you see yourself for the first time, I remember thinking " that sounds like me !? I do that !Could I be narcissistic ?then the feelings of hopelessness , that nothing can be done to change what I am. But there is something ... Prayer , to become Christ like is to die to self ! I see this as the only way off of the narcissistic rollercoaster . The love of God becomes your constant narcissistic supply ! you can't give what you don't have.

[preluki]

@Kathydrel

GOOD LUCK TO YOU, YOU ARE AVERY RARE PERSON, TO BE SO SELF AWARE

[dthirteenc]

As a possible narcissist, I see some of this in me. However (and perhaps this is the ultimate defence tactic) - I never back down, win, lose or draw. Also I tend to to be completely apathetic about other people (also a pretty good defence). Lastly though I've had the same friends forever - best defence against diagnosis for me, I guess. But my usual hardness dissolves around them.