The wit and wisdom of John Kerry.
2:58
Added: 5 years ago
From: MarkDayComedy
Views: 54,026
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  • I found this back in 07.

    I thought this guy was funny and I favorited several videos and subscribed...

    Now, coming back to watch these, I really just don't find them funny...

    minivanmonkey 1 year ago

  • brilliant!

    justice4all72 2 years ago

  • paste this to 2 other videos

    go to your channel and see your comments

    JUST DO IT IT'S SCARY!!

    timyeungjunior15 2 years ago

  • of course it's scary, it pisses people off.

    PetrePann 2 years ago

  • Step 1:Hold your breath

    Step 2:go to another video

    Step 3: add this comment

    Step 4:did you make it if you didi you are a good kisser"

    DesireBros22 2 years ago

  • Very chuckle worthy.

    And the little jab at people still oversensitive about any Steve Irwin humor was pretty funny. :D

    ParadoxPortal 4 years ago

  • haha not bad, like the accent

    snipercupX 4 years ago

  • Should I be ashamed of the fact that I laughed at those suicide bomber jokes?

    WillRennar 4 years ago

  • no...

    Skullstein 4 years ago

  • If you are, I should be too.

    instantninja271 4 years ago

  • haha. as should i.

    thankgod4starbucks 4 years ago

  • yo chill with all the "repost this".. no ones gonna die!!

    elmoemkadm 4 years ago

  • LMAO!

    ProjektRaRa 4 years ago

  • "If you don't pay attention at school, you could end up stuck inside a woman, a woman whose values you don't necesarily share, a woman whose gonna cost you a lot of money in the long run, but a woman who you won't be able to bring home to meet your parents."

    littlteapot 4 years ago

  • lmfao lol

    coolnerd92 4 years ago

  • That image of Ted Kennedy is Pretty BAD. LOL Susan

    HCelticPrincessness 4 years ago

  • lmao...this guy is amazin'

    thayoungsir 4 years ago

  • afidancer shut up you liberal hippie bitch.

    SgtBanks1 4 years ago

  • John kerry is a flip flopper. In the election, he would flip flop over political issues, and now he's flip flopping over what the punch line to his joke was. Kerry tries too hard to be a people pleaser, but is not very good at it. Geogre bush is not a good president, but is not as bad as people make him out to be, and I am voting democrat.

    krakhaid 4 years ago

  • Vote 4 NADER! :D lol

    TophatahpoT 4 years ago

  • I forgot.

    HELZZZ YEAH!!

    NADER + FORCE POWERS = DARTH NADER!!!

    SITH 4 THA PREZ!!

    krakhaid 4 years ago

  • that was fuckin awsome

    machetey 4 years ago

  • LOL! Nice!

    fbfan1 4 years ago

  • Democrats suck? George Bush, the monkey is a retard! look at him! his ratings suck, he lead us to a stupid war, Dick Cheney is evil, and they all claimed that there were weapons of mass distruction, but of course there WEREN'T ANY WEAPONS!

    this was funny. bye!

    but i agree, John Kerry isn't great, but better then George Bush.

    whats so bad about being gay any way? i'm a girl and straight, but whats so bad about being gay? seriously.

    afidancer 4 years ago

  • afidancer,

    John Kerry couldn't even decide what vehicle he drove, much less exactly whose vehicle it was or whether or not it's eco-friendly. There is a myraid of other issues that he couldn't agree with himself on. If you seriously consider voting for a guy with problems like that, you are truly ignorant.

    theusking 4 years ago

  • Tx soo much. you're hilarious. I loved that one.

    orgunte 4 years ago

  • haha i love you for this....

    john kerry is a joke..

    but democrats are gay..

    you shouldnt vote for them

    jocelyn102938475 4 years ago

  • This reminds me oddly of my favorite coven of witches doing bondage but naturally it was deleted from myspace & I knew them and loved them so I wasn't scared! I'm into longhairs but there are a couple skinheads worthy as bitch magnets.

    underworldisis 4 years ago

  • awsum. that was sweet

    MuhammadKILLER 4 years ago

  • another bar joke: a suicide bomber walks into a bar. *KABOOM*

    kiminokami 4 years ago

  • Negative Comment #555: /sigh WTF!!!

    pderhammer 4 years ago

  • hey-hey! Dude, you're funny but DONT EVER mention Dane Cook and John Kerry in the same sentence, okay? That's sin! Dane Cook fuckin rules!

    chilipeppers051 4 years ago

  • Senator kerry? Theyre all idiots, and no one smart cares about politics, its not even there, ppl have nothing to say ..promise. Unless you have oil, a private bank or a local freemason membership and a fat ring that is

    mrmurdoc015 4 years ago

  • dose he love john kerry or sumthing?

    cookiemonster6142 4 years ago

  • This video was full of horrible mental images.

    jessykahhh 4 years ago

  • HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAH it's about time someone said what needs to be said. i hate hypocrites

    whatsGQM 4 years ago

  • that was not funny... at all

    animatedanimator 4 years ago

  • props for the Stewart plug!

    LenaCS 4 years ago

  • hahahahahahahhahahahaaa

    nice job!

    polomint11 4 years ago

  • I crocodile and a stingray walked into a bar...what? too soon? HAHHAHAHAHA

    idontownacamera 4 years ago

  • lol i love this shit, u have one hell of an imagineation, pisses me off people that just blatantly insult u, and btw i think that the accent sounds damn real. americans just dont understand that we can have so many accents on such a small bit of land, but then they are led by a retard...

    robbergod1 4 years ago

  • My sex drive completely dissapeared because of that one sentence about John Kerry and Hillary Clinton. However it returned at the mention of "a bus full of dead cheerleaders" so you're forgiven.

    Great stuff, I was waiting for the "Two terrorists walk into a bar... Boom boom!" joke to come but then that would have ruined the point you were trying to make, wouldn't it?

    And Dane Cook can't do accents for shit, it just had to be said.

    EasyPhil 4 years ago

  • omg i make me soo mad omg cant you just shut the fuck up if i saw u on my street i would take you the fuck out!

    pumpylumpy 4 years ago

  • *Sniff* Ah the festering stench of sarcasm and bullshit... Or is it complete stupidity? I'm finding it pretty difficult to tell.

    EasyPhil 4 years ago

  • You anger yourself?

    PunkRocker177 4 years ago

  • baldy !!!

    tambulag 4 years ago

  • to funny xD you are so right though. great job

    dyingmethusalah 4 years ago

  • I'm sorry but..You accent is FAKE. But you're still cute.

    misterbandman 4 years ago

  • suck on a cock and die.

    ArcReforged 4 years ago

  • i only did it cuz im super sticius so you go suck on a cock and die or you could learn what things on a computer mean or stop being cock sucker dick wad poon fucker

    wonderboy121314 4 years ago

  • Learn to spell, and stop being retarded.

    Supersticious = Afraid of non-existent ungrounded threat. = Retarded.

    ArcReforged 4 years ago

  • Harlarious.

    CapnSlim 5 years ago

  • its an interesting question,,,,what was ted kennedy wearing as he fled the scene,,,,a friend of mine who was wanted by the police had a car accident and as he fled through the woods he was making up a new identity

    hellorodney 5 years ago

  • Mark you need to stand up and take your place,now that Molly Ivins is dead

    tps607 5 years ago

  • I apologize for the hateful comment, but accroding to you the viewer, that's the only way to get a point across, right?

    Agentrjdark 5 years ago

  • For those of you who have no idea what's going on in this video, the suicide bomber jokes were an attempt of being lame... Which means PURPOSELY/INTENTIONALLY/DELIBE­RATELY. Also, do you think one of you mindless (explicit deleted) could have any constructive criticism? Or is it that important to have to downgrade whoever you feel like. Just because you don't like something or you find something "unfunny" as one of you put, doesn't mean "SPAM WITH HATEFUL COMMENTS."

    Agentrjdark 5 years ago

  • I love you. <3

    RabidBunnie 4 years ago

  • lolll. did you come up with those suicide bomber jokes yourself?

    ravenhpltc24 5 years ago

  • lol i like the smoking and the last order ones.. lol

    nightrider62 5 years ago

  • You are not funny. If we leave comedy to "experts" like yourself and george lopez, we'll then need to get a whole lot other people to sucker punch your big, ugly massive foreheaded faces!

    perkisizing 5 years ago

  • He doesn't have a forehead....

    TehAwesomeness 5 years ago

  • Only funny for you when he makes fun of Bush right?

    snuffydoug 5 years ago

  • hhaha wait a second...YOU are telling other people to leave comedy to the experts? you should follow that advice because your really unfunny...the suicide bomber jokes were all crap, how many times did you need to try them?

    phatwithaphD 5 years ago

  • you+insults= humorless

    TehAwesomeness 5 years ago

  • i agree with ph.D. TehAwesomeness - replies = a better youtube experience. :-) x Lol = Lame mark day "comedy"!

    perkisizing 5 years ago

  • Some of my best friends are corocodiles and stingrays!

    (Not really, and was that a Crocodile Hunter reference?)

    Americanized2 5 years ago

  • OMG! I loved the Dane Cook slam XD

    Your videos are too hilarious!

    dreamgal09 5 years ago

  • LMFAO! Okay, all your stuff is good. This is the first one that made me really laugh. Rapid-fire suicide bomber jokes... I love it!!

    SnarkLicker 5 years ago

  • I LOVE THIS GUY. he's so freaking amusing. he's not that funny, but extremely entertaining.

    alara123 5 years ago

  • your comedy is almost as bad as John Kerry's.

    mastersitsu 5 years ago

  • Your insults are as bad as Kayne Wests

    TehAwesomeness 5 years ago

  • laziest comeback ever.

    mastersitsu 5 years ago

  • you're funny but why do you have to be a liberal? still worth watching, love the suicide bomber jokes.

    THU228 5 years ago

  • i like it for the two suicide bombers walk into a bar joke redone so many times

    TheMangaNinja 5 years ago

  • Hah. "I'm not a Car Bomber." That was the best one.

    shizuyuki 5 years ago

  • hahahah those bomb jokes were good i acually laughed :)

    stickymonster 5 years ago

  • haha

    a crocidile & a stingray

    its ok

    i was joking on the dead man the day it happened.

    AlaskanDrpepper 5 years ago

  • not too funny, keep tryin though, the accen t is pretty funny

    jwallbanger 5 years ago

  • Your freakin amazing, all those assholes aginst you are losers

    Gx777 5 years ago

  • O.K. I said it once and I'll say it again! I'd actually pay to see this guy live and on stage!

    Knorkooli 5 years ago

  • Thats how most people see comedy shows.

    knobhush 5 years ago

  • you know... your a spoony bard.

    Cobi321 5 years ago

  • lol. pretty good man. better than the werewolf one.. that was just wierd

    KillerInBlackNdWhite 5 years ago

  • You have the potential to be as good as steven colbare! Or is it colbear? Whatever.

    Alaskara 5 years ago

  • its colbert but its pronounced colebear.

    rpyouknowme505 5 years ago

  • Loved the Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart references!

    potterfreak0515 5 years ago

  • I agree! They're both amazing :D and so is this guy. They should bring him on as a correspondent.

    sferb 5 years ago

  • That would be awesome!

    potterfreak0515 5 years ago

  • :) x LOL / ! = CATS

    rc22nyrocket3 5 years ago

  • Wow XD I love the suicide bomber jokes.

    KusariDragon 5 years ago

  • Ahhh ha ha hah ah ha h ah ah a this is prime stuff. THanks!

    zerdda 5 years ago

  • A crocodile and a stingray walk into a bar. LMAO

    I don't think anyone waited to start making jokes about that.

    mooxim 5 years ago

  • Amazing!

    xkuassix 5 years ago

  • Fuckin hell. Funny shit mate.

    ~Peace.

    ElThew 5 years ago

  • cute lol

    mightymatt429 5 years ago

  • they really should give you your own show ^^

    TheABsiNtHeFaiRy 5 years ago

  • Heheh... Dane Cook reference!  But I like your videos. They're awesome.

    GengetsuRyokou 5 years ago

  • Hysterical. And I campained for John Kerry.

    curiousgemini 5 years ago

  • 2 sucide bombers walking into the bar BANG!

    TheGreatBlademaster 5 years ago

  • you deliverys pathetic

    copelandthemovie 5 years ago

  • You're halarious, and the weirdest thing about your comedy, is if a person overheard someone listening to you, just by your tone, they wouldn't know it's comedy. That somehow seems to make it better *shrugs*

    madtigerx 5 years ago

  • That's called 'playing it straight,' though I think this also qualifies for 'antimasque' humor as well.

    MistressRhea 5 years ago

  • LOL ur best 1!

    GhandiPwnz 5 years ago

  • i really have no idea if that was a good video or not but there is a bump on the wall behind your head...

    deppluver2008 5 years ago

  • excellent, just excellent man.

    mistermother 5 years ago

  • HAHA YOU ARE THE FUNNIEST GUY ALIVE

    fatallygorgexus 5 years ago

  • they should give you your own show on comedy central.

    they really should.

    XO,

    DramaSongbird

    DramaSongbird 5 years ago

  • Very funny as usual!

    D4Shawn 5 years ago

  • Great, but I don't accept your apology for the image...

    imAnoLdmaN 5 years ago

  • lol was with you the whole time until you bagged on Dane..(evil eyebrow lift) lol

    Aprildew 5 years ago

  • You using a different camera this time? It seems to be a little lower quality than your others. Still as funny, though.

    Betrayeroflight 5 years ago

  • can you do a smile for us? love your accent

    shikira 5 years ago

  • all you people are stupid

    ihatetelstra 5 years ago

  • I'm like...watching all of your videos

    they are completely awesome

    xxxLoneWolfxxx 5 years ago

  • I like your accent, it makes me smile... cause ur scotish! *pokes your accent and runs*

    SaintAngel07 5 years ago

  • "So, a crocadile and a sting ray walk into a bar... What too soon?"

    Thats awesome

    carlykaiser 5 years ago

  • I can't get enough of your vids!

    wouldntulike2no 5 years ago

  • OMG you are sooooo funny, im nearly crying here. love ur sexy accent too.

    xoxtashaxox 5 years ago

  • "mate" ok i watch all ur videos. U HAVE THE BEST THAT EXIST I HAVE NEVER SEEN BETTER

    love the accent. hate america

    ghostalin 5 years ago

  • You sound like a generalizing peice of shit.

    TheKaws 5 years ago

  • I saw Borat's movie today. You're funnier.

    BillyBughead 5 years ago

  • I am about to see it... Seriously. This guy is funny. People from the UK are very nice and have very good sense of humor. Mr Bin, Monty Python's... all great shows, all Brits. I'm not a Brit myself, and not advertising anything. Btw, a Brit friend told me the guy who plays Borat is good. I myself believed Ali.G was a character on his own, not an actor interpreting him. Geez.

    Dym88 5 years ago

  • may one day he get his own show.

    Amry87 5 years ago

  • LMAO! Haha great video.

    anant12345 5 years ago

  • lol.

    Lexsamonster 5 years ago

  • hey Colbert is awsome :O

    DrTran50 5 years ago

  • You are so fucking funny dude, totally subscribed!!

    You should check out my vids, I'm not that funny, but I try.

    TylerSpilker 5 years ago

  • i work with a scotsman and he is hilarious, As well as you.. It must be in the blood.

    Abrcrombiegrl875 5 years ago

  • Ted Kennedy comment was amazing. Thank you.

    broadwaypoetess 5 years ago

  • "A crocodile and a stingray walk into a bar... What? too soon?"

    I love that part. ;)

    darkeningstar 5 years ago

  • That hole on your wall is distracting.

    Yaay for Democrats!! :)

    hokeybutt 5 years ago

  • Hah niiice

    IrisMadeline 5 years ago

  • You have natural talent, man

    hornseaguy 5 years ago

  • I'm a 14 year old kid with a webcam and acces to a billy conolly tape does tht count

    vegitossj 5 years ago

  • You are actually sooooo AMZINGLY FUNNY man. I subscribed I'm enjoying it so much.

    Valaitis 5 years ago

  • Me No im not american lol y u ask???

    AngelBabe2233 5 years ago

  • lol love ur accent

    Paprikaftw 5 years ago

  • Lmao, You're fricken awesome. Lets just leave the joke in spirit though.

    sealy223 5 years ago

  • slow to start..still lmao

    JOHNABJR 5 years ago

  • GREAT STUFF

    FilthOrFirstPlace 5 years ago

  • lol!!! ill vote for u

    spiderbatzzz 5 years ago

  • You kick ass.

    djichthus6ix 5 years ago

  • omg lmao, two suicide bombers walk into a bar, hahahahha

    sleepswitvibroblades 5 years ago

  • lmao i love it i love it i love it are u aussy or Scotttttish?

    AngelBabe2233 5 years ago

  • just out of interest are you from america?

    He is scottish by the way.

    hardicerocker 5 years ago

  • wow retard alert

    2uniek 5 years ago

  • How can you confuse a scottish and autralian accent?

    mashowasho 5 years ago

  • You have to be kinda slow to not see thats Scottish ^^

    0ddeh 5 years ago

  • I love those jokes!!!! Your accent is also seriously hott!

    MyLifeForADime 5 years ago

  • AAAAAAAH I LOVE YOU!!!!

    lonelycheza 5 years ago

  • XDD YOU ARE MY IDOL!!

    MedicationSideEffect 5 years ago

  • hahahaaaaa

    meganriz 5 years ago

  • LMFAO.

    azrielabyss 5 years ago

  • Seriously man, you are humorous, intelligent, and refreshing to watch.

    I loved Steve Irwin, and I know you liked/cared enough about him to joke about him as prevalent by your other video and that joke.

    I don't care much for Democrats or Republicans though. Libertarian oh-em-gee.

    AnthonyG88 5 years ago

  • lmao! seriously!

    darkrevenge1319 5 years ago

  • Brilliant

    sakisimple 5 years ago

  • Do yuo shave your head because it looks good, or because you're going bald?

    Aliboy 5 years ago

  • hahah, i love this guy.

    IareKEVLAR1 5 years ago

  • Very funny!

    gsdonovan 5 years ago

  • yet you not only watch him, you comment on his video.. how's that for irony

    surgictube 5 years ago

  • rofl great!

    surgictube 5 years ago

  • haha, love your accent!

    OCGirl521 5 years ago

  • This dude is fucking hilarious !! John Kerry is a botched joke !! I love my country so I'am not voting for any Democrats

    densellers 5 years ago

  • I love my country so I'm not voting for any Republicans. Your logic is flawed.

    bonavex 5 years ago

  • Love your country don't vote for either of the evil fucks! Just for a laugh everybody in America should vote for an independent.

    arganoth727 4 years ago

  • XD I LOVE this!

    Cupnjava 5 years ago

  • LMAO this is the best/smartest thing on you tube

    Tonyp8 5 years ago

  • And I always thought the scots would only ever produce one funny man you have proved me wrong

    jwac2006 5 years ago

  • fucking hilarious

    thedispatcher 5 years ago

  • HaHa! You're BAAAAACK! Thanks for the paradoy.