Added: 1 month ago
From: Jesslyngirl87
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  • ha, i play this song on guitar sometimes, i can never get the damn distortion tone to sound right though -_-;; great job, i love some of the angry metal faces you made, haha

  • Lols... You were hot before you transitioned. And you're hot after transition. :) Though I definitely like the current and proper self now though. ;) As I'm sure you do as well. hehe Btw... I'm jealous... Wish I could play an instrument. Or have boobs as big as yours. :p haha

  • do you go on chatroulette or omegle? cause i swear I saw you on there :O

  • @Funected no cant say i know what thoes are...

  • @Jesslyngirl87 Your beautiful by the way :)

  • @Funected you're*

  • @Jesslyngirl87 Holy Cow! That was quite a performance from 2008! What a song by Metallica!

  • Question... this vid you are playing right handed. In you newer vids you are lefty...did u switch to lefty?

  • I refuse to go with the norm or the UN-norm....Its all confusing. So.....I'm going to give people the spiel...okay man I think you smoked to much meth-amphetamines and so you turned into a penis craving man (that's where the term "queer juice" came from). I think your Pay-Pal donations you ask for are not for "transformation" but rather for more meth to smoke.You stay in your room and play guitar and carve vegetables and make senseless YouTube videos....I have one word, TWEEKER!!!

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  • Wait, didn't u say in October u were seeing someone? I'm confused.!#?

  • Wow you look so different and a lil uncomfy. Im soo glad your as your true self now. You make me smile when i watch your vids now :)

  • Sorry looked to be a boyfriend. You going to the Arnold this weekend?

  • Again sorry about the mistake and I guess insult. I think you look great, I'm happy to see you with someone(chugg guy?), and I wish you well. You know I think you look great and I give you great credit for going down that path as hard as it may be. I hope you eventually get the re-assignment surgery you deserve. I envy you in some ways for having the courage and strength to follow you heart. Stay strong.

  • @godiva44077 that guy in my chugg video is my cousin haha

  • Sorry.  My bad. Just noticed its mirrored. Ad fem. you rock

  • Ummm i like you vids and your whole story. Please tell me how it is that as a guy you play right handed and suddenly lefty. Hmmm

  • @PhillyX1 lol.. i say this all the time... i recorded my old vids with a camera... i now use a webcam which records in MIRROR MODE.. look for words on shirts and junk on my newer videos... its all backwards..

  • Love it.

    

  • Funny thing is.... I can see the girl through the whole video.....Damn you play guitar awesome!! YOU ROCK THE HOUSE!!!

  • Jesslyn, you should be flattered at all the doofus comments calling fake. Your transformation is so wonderfully successful that some folks cant wrap their heads around it. Congrats m'dear. You look LOVELY!

  • Strnge.. As guy - you play right hand . As girl - LEFT ?! Looks like fake.

  • @THE79SOL umm look at all the girl videos.. all the letters are backwards, cuz i use a webcam to record. and i use mirror mode. back then i used a camera..

  • @THE79SOL You're an unobservant fool.

  • @PCHardwareTech And you are an impolite and rude .

  • @THE79SOL Are you butthurt? No need to be. Tighten up those cheeks and be buttstrong.

  • @PCHardwareTech I look at your page and noticed that you not only very young , but also cannot do anything but games . No point to speak to you .

  • @THE79SOL LOL. Playing games doesn't make one immature. I do other things as well, such as write stories and reviews on my spare time. Anyhow, it's obvious that your just butthurt. So, as I said, tighten up those cheeks and be buttstrong.

  • Hey, Jesslyn. What do you think of Dana Linn Bailey? Good body for a female or too masculine?

  • Forgot to add: You are a masterful guitarist and it reminds me of how I should get to that violin I bought (if I can figure out how to tune the damned thing). Sadly, my arms are just a bit too short and fingers way too long and big, and they're actually skinny and bony as hell! I guess I'll live vicariously through this video for a while. :P

  • lol here you look so cool and shit :D like id be scared to have you beat me up.

    Now i just want to snuggle you :P

  • wow you look hot as a guy!!!! 0.0 Why couldn't you just be a gay guy and dress in androgynously feminine and in womens clothing? Like Gregory Gorgeous? Instead of undergoing hormone treatment...

  • @911assassinate cuz i dont see myself as a gay man.. its two totally different things

  • @Jesslyngirl87 I considered transition. Did the counselling sessions, saw an endocrinologist etc. Then I thought to myself, do I really want to grow breasts and eventually get a vagina? HELL NO! I wasnt going to conform to this notion of genitalia and physical appearance being the definition of what a girl really is. I realized why I really wanted to transition physically was for OTHERS to SEE, treat and validate me as a girl. Bitch please. I know I'm a girl inside and out. I don't need (cont.)

  • ... anyones validation but my own. There was no real reason that I should go through the pain of growing breasts, spending thousands on surgeries, induce foreign and potentially cancerous hormones in my body just for the sake of others. I'm content with what I have to work with, but it doesn't define me. I wear make up, I dress in womens clothing, I wear heals, purses etc I do, wear whatever the hell I want. It wasnt my physical body or appearance holding me back from happiness (cont.)

  • ... It was me not expressing MYSELF, that I felt I needed to transform myself physically. I guess that's where the "dysphoria" comes from. Inside, not physically. The real key to happiness, is not GIVING a fuck! Be you, do you. Don't envy what you dont have, Love what you do have. Don't do things based on peoples validation, but your own. Maybe it's because I'm thick skinned that I say this. Walk, talk, dress the way you want. Genitalia doesn't define you. Love yourself and you'll be set.

  • @911assassinate What's your point? That Jesslyn should detransition and be a 'gay guy'? The whole "be yourself and do what you want" speech I agree with, but I don't understand it within the context of your first post and her response. She probably wants the breasts, vagina, female voice, and everything else that comes with being a girl.

  • @Onijak No that wasnt the point. My point was, breasts, vagina, the voice and body doesnt define or make a woman. I use to envy these physical attributes of other girls, but thats all they are, "attributes." That's where envy and dysphoria come into play. I know I'm female in nature, I don't need to undergo a physical transformation just to validate myself or be validated by others. I am who I am. I was born this way and I love it.

  • @911assassinate You're right, breasts, vagina, voice and body doesn't define what a woman is, but don't tell me you wouldn't feel like less of a woman if you didn't have those "attributes."

  • @12Andy777 I was not born with milking glandular organs and periods and child birth, I don't envy that either. Being a women isnt some "feeling" It's a way of life and expression, its and internal knowing. What if genitalia didnt exist? My point exactly.

  • @911assassinate

    Ok, I know what you’re saying, but for some people that's not enough. In order to be accepted as a woman in society, and referred to as one, you need to change your physical appearance and voice at least somewhat. We unfortunately don't live in a world that's that accepting just yet.

  • @12Andy777 You see, that's the point. I don't live my life by society, I live my own life. That's where dysphoria, envy, depression, low self-esteem come from. I am what I am, and if a bitch can't see it, to hell with them. I couldn't care less what society or anyone thinks. I do what I want, wear what I want, when I want. I don't need to undergo an expensive and inconvenient physical transformation just for people to validate who I am. It's transition in the mind that counts, not physically.

  • @Jesslyngirl87 did you have sexual relations with men before the transition? you're very pretty btw.

  • @Jesslyngirl87 well you are hot as a girl and as a guy :) i don't see you as a gay guy either i see you as a girl :) casue you look like one

  • Soooo, I have a rather huge favor to ask ya: Do you mind cloning the musclehead and sending me a husk that I can plant my brain into? Being a trans-man under four feet really isn't working out for me here and I can't seem to get my hands on any testosterone 'roids or anything. Ah, but I'm happy for you. You look really nice now, but more importantly you seem a lot happier now that you can 'move' more the way you like. Granted, you must have had to readjust to the weight of your guitar a bit, no?

  • so, one day you just woke up and decided to be a woman?

  • Damn you where sexy

  • I wish you would do an update :(

  • your transition is impressive (and enviable, i might add;) i might be a few years older than you, but it's always heartening to see strong trans people helping others who might be going through the same thing!

  • Did you post a video discussing your going full time? When you did the two year wrapup video you insert a "full time at last" comment... when did that happen? How's it going for you? Would really like to hear the latest :)

  • @FarDareisMai2012 i went fulltime in january of 2011

  • @Jesslyngirl87 I have no doubt that you will have a wonderful and fulfilling life as a woman. May your new life be full of joy and happiness :) Thanks so much for responding!

  • Hi Jess, it's been a while since you last posted a vlog. I hope all is ok and you're well? Looking forward to you posting something in the future, whether it's just your musings or a guitar piece (It's My Life by Bon Jovi would be cool) ;-)

  • It just amazes me when I see your before stuff. I've been reading you may leave YT. Understandable. The trolls put me off as well. Could you post a Facebook page or something though? I only drop by from time to time to see how you're doing. But I really want things to turn out well for you and I want to keep following your progress. Wish I could be of help but you live on the other side of the world. Atb.

  • At first it threw me off but then I saw the mirrored letters in other videos. Funny how hard you try even right before you end up transitioning.

  • i have that exact same crate amp lol but im running it out of a different cab, its pretty sweet :)

  • I started watching all your videos from the start and then to this video, could you post an update on how your doing? It looks like you've come a long way! Thanks for the videos! Good luck!

  • So this is your brother? You've come a long way...

  • Wow, your brother is HUGE! Oh..wait...that's you!. I'm just kidding around. :D

  • All I can say is Yum, lol! You are awesome on the guitar! Im happy you did your transition, everyone deserves to be happy! :) U go girl!!!

  • I'm just wondering if you plan on playing wow any more? If not, I understand. Just wondering for the most part. I've enjoyed talking to people in your guild, although not many people seem to play anymore.

  • Id do anything to get things back to the way they were

  • Will you ever talk to me agian

  • I have a guitar but I can only play the euphonium

  • What most posters will never understand is what it is like to live your life pretending to be someone you are not, hiding all your honest feelings and Instincts behind a wall, trying desperately to meet everyone's expectations and sacrificing your own happiness to please them. Eventually it comes to the point where you either live your own life and transition... or you die. One cannot comprehend what it means to finally be able to drop the mask and be yourself :) You smile... a LOT!

  • WHY GOING SO HARD IN BODYBUILDN ONLY TO KILL IT OFF N TRANSFORM THATS STUPID

  • You passed from really strong to really cute!

  • METALLICA !! lml

  • Nice vid jesslyn. Definitely shows how far you have come. :) Hey could you check out my video please. It's my first one on here and it would mean a lot if you checked it out. 

  • you look so much happier now. I'm so happy for you! :')

  • I've come back and listened to.this.like 5 Times cause its so awesome

  • I'm a mtf trans metal guitar player too! :D Im glad to see theres more than one of us out there. lol. Ive been on HRT for 2 months now. :D

    You play awesome, and your other videos with you as yourself. You look amazing. Its near impossible to tell. For me it is, at least. :) I'll subscribe. How long have you been playing?

  • Wish you didn't hate me wish I understand why you hate me also well wish you the best of luck with your life I hope you finish your transition well I guess this a goodbye forever

  • Loves it!!!

  • Do you recommend lipo?

  • Jesselyn.. I just thought: How you used to look & how you look now, serves to show how possible & practical transition can be. I mean, thank you. ;)

    You are very inspirational to me <3

  • audio and video are off by a few seconds :\

  • what sort of steroids were you taking then?

  • Where is the most recent video for us to compare, anyway, great job on the guitar!

  • You are an awesome guitarist. I wish I was that good.

  • wow you look so differen't in here.did you work out alot back than?

  • Its amazing how much more natural and happy you look as a girl. Its like you had to try so hard to pretend to be a boy..

    Your great girl!

    xo

  • I have to apologize. I'm a big fan and feel horrible. I see what u mean, the letters r backwards. I felt cheated being a bi male I often thought of transitioning. I had reservations so I figured its not for me. I still sometimes think what life could have been for me. I respect the hell out of anyone who walks that path in life. Accept my apologies, please it is sincere and heart felt. Stay strong.

  • @godiva44077 its alright... i prolly answer that question a few times a day lol

  • I can't believe I'm asking this, are you a twin running a scam for money?

  • @godiva44077 lol thats pretty lame. use your eyes...

  • @Jesslyngirl87

    Wow the change is unberleavable, go for it girl

  • @godiva44077 Go watch all her videos from the beginning... you will see that this is real.

  • Why are u playing right handed in this and lefty in the newer ones?

  • @godiva44077 new ones are in mirror mode.. different camera.. look at the letters on my shirts in the newer ones.. they are backwards

  • You can't fool us: You aren't leaving, are you?

  • You are a beautiful woman. You were quite attractive when presenting as male, and you're stunning while presenting as female. Gorgeous person, hands down.

  • You should play more Metallica now as J :D - that was awesome! xxx

  • You were a very cute guy despite your muscularity. Your face is cute to a point of being fem. Hoping you take this the way I mean

    BTW I think you're very attractive now.

  • Did you ever dream you would look the way you do now then? Honestly ive seen tons of transition vids and yours is one of the most dramatic.

  • You've come so far, it's amazing. :3

  • amazing what hrt does to us I love it I am about to hit month 9 and I can see a dramatic change in the way I looked from a year ago, you look amazing hun I like the way you look now and like everyone elce says you look truly happy now, your smile is genuin and not just for show, cant wait to see the remake of this vid lol

  • you were so hot as a guy but now youre a gorgeous girl! love you jess;)

  • Well, with tought of physical condition you had, man must admit you are very succesefull with your transition, maybe of of the most succesefull transitions on youtube

  • What a scary looking guy you were. Propaply little too emotional and artistic for a guy, but otherwise a brutal random guy

  • i think you look just better now and it's obvious that you feel better now.

  • dont tell me this angel was this dude

  • You got to love Metallica. ;)

    

  • This is the first Metallica song I ever learned to play. Love it!

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  • It's obvious how uncomfortable with being a guy you were. I love seeing the smile on your face now, it's obvious that you love being a woman.. you should've done your transition years ago lol. :3

  • @9393zach yes i shoulda.. now i have to deal with what bodybuilding did to my body

  • @Jesslyngirl87 Your body looks fine to me, lol. I love your curves, honestly, I can't see any resemblance to you in this video and in your newer ones.

  • @Jesslyngirl87 hey at least you were fit though... some of us have fat to deal with haha :p

  • @Jesslyngirl87 It's not what bodybuilding did to your body, its what you did to your body. Nobody and nothing forced you to cycle, natty bodybuilding exists.

  • @108243 good post, right to the point

  • @Jesslyngirl87 thank u austin

  • What an awesome video! It's so interesting to watch you as a big hulking man with a cool Metallica t-shirt playing the song that originally inspired me to become a metalhead. Who would have guessed that you felt like a woman inside? I really can relate to what you've gone through. Your transformation has been amazing to say the least. Thanks for sharing this!

  • wow, it's incredible just how much youve changed. you are absolutely stunning as a woman. Thank you so much for your transiotion video's theyve helped me a lot.

  • I saw all your videos from VikingIron and your transition really makes me feel positive about mine. Please know that your timeline video has also helped me break the ice with my mother and my brother. The fact that they know wonderful things can happen.. Im happy for you.

  • Wow Jess! that's a huge difference! I'm approaching 1 year in my transition. I cant wait to see how much I change in another year. ^_^

  • mmmmmmm this is good :)

  • I would have been all over you back then ._. You're a very pretty girl, but with me being a gay guy... daaamn.

  • @evamarie333 i have been with a women before and it felt totaly backwards... like the roles shoulda be reversed

  • @Jesslyngirl87 I feel the same way. I won't be able to start searching for therapist until March at the earliest. Hopefully then I can make more sense of my current "life".

  • @llv45898 you have it about perfect... i was trying to be a man that no one could tell that i felt everything was wrong.

  • This is just incredible. What a stud! Honey you are a miracle of modern science. From hot dude to hot babe. You are very compatible with the hormones they love you...and so do we x

  • @joshbot360 i knew i should be living life as a woman but i kept trying to convince myself that i could just be a normal guy. but it came down that i transitioned or i was gonna end up dead.

  • @Jesslyngirl87 that's how i feel right now :( - Did you have sleepless nights? I sleep about 2-3 hours a day if I am lucky.its sunday morning now and only slept for an hour and bit. sucks

  • Jesslyn, I want to let you know that you played a large part in saving my life. I didn't know about your YouTube channel at the time, but you were the first and best example of another trans woman I had seen in an article I stumbled upon at a gaming website...

    If not for your inspiration -- that I didn't have to keep living a manly lie -- I might have continued down that road of depression and suicide. !!!THANK YOU!!! <3 <3 <3

  • is it called electric guitar?

  • Nice vid!

  • Wow you look very nice as a boy and a girl =)

    How were you sure to transition, like what trigger your immediate need (I.E:I'm not happy i need to do something right now) to become a girl?

    I've been having similar feelings since i was 7

  • Hormones are magic!

    

  • As a fellow trans guitarist, I applaud you miss:) I'd love to jam with you someday :)

  • i dunno you still seem kinda girlish here to me. like you're over-acting??? maybe "girlish" is not right... it just seems like you're imitating what you think guys should act like, which makes sense, obviously. or maybe i'm just playing monday morning quarterback. anyway, nice tunes!

  • @llv45898 I totally agree with you on this!! Jess, your cover videos as yourself are truly magical...we can feel your soul while your playing. The best way that I can describe it is that your eyes smile. lol This video is definitely hard to watch....llv45898 says it perfectly, it seems like you're overacting. :D

  • @llv45898: It's true, though -- We get good at acting to avoid the ever-looming threats, humiliation and shame, that might befall us should we not fulfill others' expectations...

    I remember, lol. I would ride the scariest ride and swim across ice-cold Lake Tahoe just to look extra manly in front of whoever I was with.

  • Jess, I have to ask now that you've talked about not being with a guy before your transition. Were you ever with a girl before that or was your first experience with a guy? Sorry, I'm just so curious about you.

  • @danielleweaver88 i would like too eventually.

  • @Jesslyngirl87 yea you definitely should! Thats a show I would most definitely want to see :) Keep at it, you'll get your chance eventually!

  • @501177 idk i kinda see someone i was trying to be... i mean its still me, but not how i truly felt i shoulda been.

  • @Jesslyngirl87 Although being trans is hell sometimes and far from perfect, we are part of a small group of people on this planet who truly know how it feels to live both as male and as female. Physically, emotionally and socially. It is not a privilege by any means but it is unique! ;-)

  • btw did you change the way you record you music from then? The audio in your later videos seem so much crisper, or maybe its just the background track...who knows im musically illiterate lol

  • @marvelous211 yes i used roids from late 08 till novemeber of 09 which is when i started my transition... was kinda a last ditch effort to cure myself

  • @10m i actually was never with a guy until after i started transition

  • haha love the facial expressions... you were really getting into it! Awesome! But yea your playing has progressed, you ever going to try to get a band together?

  • @rockraven5000 this video is from 2008

  • @MrKostiLLA idk they were my dads from the early 90s i think

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  • And sometimes.... just sometimes, you have to wonder... CAN PEOPLE READ????? She stated in the description it was on old video that she just found!

  • Any reason for the guy mode? is this an old vid?

  • wow you're really good, you should get out there and get into a band. there must be a heap of bands who would love a hot lead guitarist!

  • who the hell is musclehead.. i was hope to see are lovely metalhead. i hope you can remake this this video soon and one more thing rook on

  • I think you are the only transgender I know on YouTube who seems comfortable with your past look, really sets you apart.

  • What headphones did you use?

  • Ugh goddammit, you post this stuff just to taunt us gay bros don't you! ;) SUCH a hot muscle cub! I know it's not really you, and I know you were just constructing that persona in attempt to convince yourself of a falsehood, but wow, TOTALLY hot guy. ;_;

    Did you ever have relationships with guys before you transitioned?

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  • Wow, The change is extreme!

  • no offense at all you are a pretty girl now, but as a gay guy you must've got a lot of guys drooling for you! what a stud! :O____

  • Hey little sister, Wow! It just seems so strange to watch you as a guy now that I'm used to you as a girl! It kinda disturbs me lol! Btw, have you seen Metallica's live cover of this song with Jerry Cantrell? It's awsome!

  • Rockin then and rockin' now!!! I pretty much like anything from Metallica from the Black Album on earlier!! :)

  • its amazing that you feel so comfortable with yourself now that you can post old videos :) Way to go Jess!

  • You were so into it in this I love it lol

  • Wow! you changed so much. How do you feel when you see your self back then?

  • And to think my own transition will be impossible o_o

  • wow! just wow.. and you are awesome :) Come a long way :)

  • You sure came a long way. Good stuff ;D

  • if I didn't know your story, I'd assume it was your brother. you've come a long way...

  • My god, that was some serious swagger.

  • @TwBit lol steroids make u really cocky what can i say :P

  • @Jesslyngirl87 ahhh, that would explain the arms...

  • @Jesslyngirl87 You took steroids?