Scenes We'd Like to See: Bad Things to Hear on Opening the Door in the Middle of the Night - Mock the Week - BBC Two

[LimeyThunder]

The last two were the best:

'Im afraid your husbands been murdered. Could I borrow a shovel?'

'Hello Im Gordon Brown.... Just hold me.'

[ihatelumberjacks]

"Blah blah blah my useless opinions blah blah blah generic unintelligent rebuttal blah blah blah I need to get out more as I clearly have too much time on my hands if i'm arguing in the youtube comments section..."

[ninjahunter101]

Uh, haven't you noticed?

There's a clown in your garden.

[xxbeckymcxx]

I love the way Frankie says Murdered :D

[Sofisoph]

Andy Parsons doesn't get enough credit! He is hilarious :)

[thisloneliness]

Ah the last one. Genius, pure genius.

[jettison27]

MIchael! MIchael McIntyre! I love him!

[crazy4russellhoward]

Hugh Dennis always gets the best reactions from the audience, because he can do really good impressions and faces! But I think they are all funny! <3 Micheal McIntyre x

[Fangtorn]

I don't want to complain about anyone. Except you. Yes YOU.

[thomas5070]

Hallo, I'm Dara O'Briain and I'd like to talk to you about "Mock The Week!" :D

[one4dam0ney]

can people stop complaining?

[GamingDemonVideos]

Why is the guy at 0:17 wearing a girls top ?

[The8thKira]

@GamingDemonVideos Fashion has no gender.

[GamingDemonVideos]

@The8thKira So your saying trannys are fashionable? =P

[Dewkeeper]

@GamingDemonVideos

When have they ever NOT been?

[animequeen20012003]

@GamingDemonVideos Mark Watson.

[csilovergirl1]

love the gorbon brown joke

michael mcintyre rules!!!

[HubbaBubbaNightmares]

Aeroplane jelly.

[ChayotAiKadesh]

I was just about to complain about the people complaining about the people who complain about the people who re-type the jokes in the video, but when I scrolled down to type it, I found out that people were already complaining about the people complaining about the people who complain about the people who re-type them. Therefore I am going to complain about the people complaining about the people complaining about the people complaining about the people who retype the jokes instead.

[nomadicification]

@ChayotAiKadesh Inb4 Sup Dawg

[ChayotAiKadesh]

@nomadicification I can't be arsed to scroll through the comments - what was it i said that your replying to?

[TheRaygunTribe]

@ChayotAiKadesh you fag

i wanted to complain about you but you can work all the details out

[sanaasmilelines]

@ChayotAiKadesh i've never seen the word 'complain' so many times in my life.

[Y0shi228]

@ChayotAiKadesh crap D: say complin real fast over and over and it sounds like Ca plane D:

[BellChedda]

@ChayotAiKadesh Yo dog I heard you like complaining XD

[vinivinus]

@ChayotAiKadesh Hahahaha! your comment sums up all of youtube.

[Animalcrossing95]

@ChayotAiKadesh Well said! XD

[wheresdatto]

@ChayotAiKadesh I dont know whether to thumbs up or thumbs down. :l excellent comment thought. It should be copied and pasted on all videos on this site.

[richay1]

So the 2 top comments are about people complaining about people complaining that people are putting the jokes in the comments....:s

[TheOriginalElkstone]

Know what, fuck it. No point in reading the same comments made by different people on every video

[MrAmgeo]

In my mind, this is funnier if you imagine hearing this when you're coming home in the middle of the night. Like, you're back from a party or something, you open the front door to go into your flat, and you hear "Hello, I'm Gordon Brown. Just hold me."

[morgsThreeSixtyFive]

0:46 someone explain the Max Mosley joke please? xD

[itsjmonkey]

Why do people get so many thumbs up?

[HockeyStickDefence]

0:15 Sounds like a John Darwin reference xD

[MrAdzerman]

0:15 Can sombody explain that to me????

[DieHardRulez]

@MrAdzerman I dont get it either...if Dara likes it, It must be good!

[raineWoS]

@MrAdzerman It's an insider from the round before this (commercials that never made it to air). I think Andy said if one is afraid of bankruptcy one should make a canoe trip into the middle of the ocean. It also gets picked up in "Bad things to say in a job interview": "The 5 year employment gap... Uhm, I was canoeing?" XD

[MrAdzerman]

@raineWoS Ah XD Thank you XD

[Slacks2k]

@raineWoS Actually at the time the big story was off a British man who disappeared in March 2002 whilst canoeing and was assumed drowned until his discovery and arrest five years later and his trial and conviction the year after. People made a lot of jokes about it, i.e "I'm back from my canoe trip".

[raineWoS]

@Slacks2k Yeah, I looked it up after hockeystickdefence mentioned John Darwin. But thanks, now everbody knows what's it about. ^^

[salyerofdarkeness98]

@MrAdzerman A guy disapeered in 2002 and asumed dead when he went on a canoe trip when he came back he came back after 5 years he was aresested people where making a metric tonne of jokes about ever since

[mcteniwob]

why the fuck do people try to spin-off lame top comments to try to get top comment themselves?!

[MrHottmesss]

tumbseption

[musicfan5138008]

that awkward moment when the top comments are basicly the same

[ChannyLY]

Why do people get so many thumbs up for complaining about people complaining about people complaining about people retyping what everyone else just heard ?

[UkeHarvey]

BANANA FUCK

[ShakeMySausage]

how do people get a large amount of thumbs for complaining about people complaining about people re-typing what everybody just heard

[xxellababiixx]

michael mcintyre's laugh!! ahahah i love him :L

[Bruntley96]

@TheCrankRemixes Oh shut up. If you find that a lot of people are just quoting, don't read the comments! It is just people expressing their opinion on what was the best joke.

[ejcmoorhouse]

you have to worry with Frankie Boyle!!?!

[Zookei]

@TheCrankRemixes I like it when people quote it, doesn't do any harm.

[Themingemoblie]

Hello I'm Dara O' Brian, Just Hold Me.

[StreetRum1]

Every one of these I watch, and there have been alot watched by me in the last hour or so, I always check the right side of the screen to check whether Franky Boyle is there... If he isn't these just aren't worth watching.

[Mrfozza1]

RVAAAAAAAAAA nice link!

[AdaamJC]

im a turtle

[RhetoricalFilms9792]

Goddamn I love Andy Parsons.

[danwarren97]

most of these have happened to me.

[sekirk]

@dm9910 The thumbs up button on your comment is not big enough. Kudos i'm glad someone was here to shut them all up!

[ChipMau5]

Darragh's reaction at 0:12 is so funny

[dm9910]

@ChipMau5 his name is spelled dara. no need for all the ghsdghjsdfgh after it :P

[ilovedegus999]

love it when someone says "murdered" in a scottish accent. It sounds so awesome :P

[strethy]

stop complaining about people repeating jokes, its nice for people to be able to share the bits they foudn the most funny.

[Oxpost]

@strethy No it isn't. Those comments always get thumbs up and end up in the topcomments, leading to the fact that some jokes are ruined for those that have never seen the clip before.

[coder49]

@Oxpost Then don't scroll down and read the comments first genius. What else are people going to comment about on a video telling JOKES, the fucking weather? And then have those comments thumbed up?

Fucking idiots these days seriously...

[Oxpost]

@coder49 The problem is that I don't have to scroll down to have jokes ruined for me, seeing as they're top rated which means that I'll see them wether I want to or not. Dumbass.

[coder49]

@Oxpost Can you be more of a retard? I use chrome, which has no toolbars at the top or anything of the sort and even I have to scroll down for top comments. You should know that regardless of what browser or whatever shitty pc you have you can always zoom into the page, so don't blame other people having something to share but blame it on your ignorance.

[Oxpost]

@coder49 I use chrome as well, and I don't care for the zoomed in view. It's annoying to me. Now please, piss off.

[coder49]

@Oxpost I don't use zoomed in view either, tough shits for you if you can still see the top comments so please shut the fuck up and I'll gladly piss off.

[mizjellybelly]

@coder49 lol its raining here

[sepsepsep12]

@strethy exactly....some people are just fucking morons.

[webparkhr]

@strethy are you telling me you find it "nice" to see what a person you don't even know likes most? that's like the randomest thing you could possibly think of

[minibleau]

@kieranjohndavies93 its a looping effect! you got thumbs up for moaning about people who moan about stuff that people have already written! aaaaaaah the circle continues!

[jerrrrrrrrrrrroen]

why do people get so much thumbs up for commenting on people who repeat the jokes in their comments? probably i will get thumbs up for commenting on people who are commenting on people who are repeating jokes on their comments

[xOliverTuesday]

Can someone explain the canoe trip joke?

[zyder9]

@xOliverTuesday basically, it was to do with some bloke who, with his wife's knowing, faked his death by disappearing after a canoe trip in the North Sea. It was so they could claim hundreds of thousands in insurance money but they fell out and the fella handed himself in 5 years later which landed them both in the shit.

[NiaaCaitlin]

i love how frankie says murdered !:L

[Mangia271]

i've got one :

" heeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeee­eees JOHNNY!!"

[ellenmelon771]

I've got one:

"Hey Barry!...whoops! Wrong house!"

;P xXx

[sweetchucksono]

bbc is quite a hypocrite, they banned Boyle yet put these up on youtube.

[j4cko56]

@sweetchucksono no he chose to leave because the BBC were making limits on what he could say, so he choose to not change his style and leave...

[yognaut619]

At 0:39 i spat my water out laughing

[OOjuniperberry]

I don't get the canoe joke can someone explain it...?

[animequeen20012003]

@OOjuniperberry John Darwin was a man who faked his death in a canoeing accident for five years, then turned up alive in December 2007.

[OOjuniperberry]

@animequeen20012003 oh right i remember! Thanks :D

[kid240ful]

another joke " oh ... you should get checked for Chlamydia "

[ellenmelon771]

I'm afraid your husband's just been murdered... can I borrow a shovel?

*Michael's laugh*

XD xXx

[KitsuneProject]

"do You Mind! I've Got some Porn On!"

[KitsuneProject]

"If You're Snooping Behind my door, Fuck Off!"

[KitsuneProject]

"Silence!, I Kill You!"

[KitsuneProject]

"Pinocchio! Get Outta The Wood Chipper!"

[KitsuneProject]

"Oh For Fuck Sake, Love... Back in to bed with you"

[KitsuneProject]

"Help Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"

[Ma6ku6ta6]

Max who? x)

[ellenmelon771]

Press 5 and you get a really funny Hugh Dennis face. xXx

[ellenmelon771]

I saw a peeping tom in your garden but I warned him... this is my patch!!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha­hahahahaha XD <3 xXx

[alibalicharlton123]

GO COMPARE!

[ellfarrell123]

hello my cock is stuck in ur letter box

[kldudey]

how the hell do people get loads of thumbsfor just re-typing what everyone else has already heard?!

[AwenColum]

@kldudey precisely, why do you get a load of thumbs for retyping what everyone else has already seen?!

[AlbeenoCookie]

Ahhh, Michael McIntyre <3

[dar3keternal]

@AlbeenoCookie meh i dont think he is very funny.

[AlbeenoCookie]

@dar3keternal I never said he was funny ;P

[dar3keternal]

@AlbeenoCookie Ewwwww

[AlbeenoCookie]

@dar3keternal hahahahahahaha XD

[thegamez100]

L O fucking L at andys face after he tells the joke at 0:50

[johnjullisthebest]

*retype joke in video we have just seen here*

[xsweetdanielle123x]

keep pressing 9 to hear michael ask you a question!!!!



[nuttymonkey11]

My own one:

First person:'Hello! I am the MESSIAH..!'

Next person:'He's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!'

[millsy615]

hello im afraid my cock is stuck in your letterbox

[NJD3110]

Those 16 people who dislike this clearly lost their cocks in letterboxes.

[WoodymanTHEJ]

Here's one... "hello, I'm Justin Bieber."

[emzknow]

@WoodymanTHEJ Justin Bieber jokes have been done to death

[WoodymanTHEJ]

@emzknow Would you rather Amy Deadhouse ones? Whoops...

[CrazyKitBuilder]

i got one: " this is the police"

[XVCOTTAMVX]

no gordon i will not hold u

[KnowN4OwNinG]

0:53 Dara farts :D rofl!

[MrBurnTec]

better than them all - ive come for your kids ?

[filmmakerkenny]

i got 1: die u bitch !

[PunkiKidd98]

I love the way Frankie says 'murder' xD

[Luigi95LT]

I've got one: Would you like to join out Jehova's Witness church?

[barnwellbabz]

Mark watson is so cute without his glasses!

[ashesbash]

i've got one: "hello, i'm gary glitter, are your children in?"

slightly rude i know

[HardcoreHamster33]

I saw a peeping tom in your garden, but i wondered this is my patch! xD

[PinkDickful]

@HardcoreHamster33 he said i warned him lol. nice name btw :) made me laugh :P

[HardcoreHamster33]

@PinkDickful XD lol. Thnaks, i like yor name too! xD You have made my day! :D I also warned that peeping tom cause he was in my house and i threw a chicken at his head! :DD

lol xD

[Siimplicityyy]

I've learnt not to look at the most rated comments until the clip is over.. Ruins the whole thing..

[TheZhengmeister]

can someone explain the canoe joke?

[supersolrock]

@TheZhengmeister its nothing about canoes just saying something that can at least wait till morning.

[stephdia2010]

@supersolrock no its the man who got in debt then ran away and paddled into the middle of the sea to escape

[supersolrock]

@stephdia2010 i think either explanation would work

[PinkDickful]

@supersolrock its about the guy who faked his death (pretended to die by canoeing) to get money that his wife claimed for his death :)

[TMan5636]

GO COMPARE! GO COMPARE!

[SuperTwilightFanX]

@TMan5636 I was just thinking the exact same thing! Was about to type it but you beat me to it! :) x

[Thingamajigs]

"Please take a seat.

I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC..."

Why was i expecting this?

[StarryVision]

I've got one: Hi i'm Wayne Rooney, want to see a picture of me naked?

[ANiaLLaToR73]

I've got one for this joke: "Will you give us a push?"

Guy at door: "Alright, Where do you want me?"

Replies: "I'm just over there on the swings"

[TheKamanick]

@ANiaLLaToR73 Sickipedia

[ANiaLLaToR73]

@TheKamanick what ?

[TheKamanick]

@ANiaLLaToR73 you know...

[Theforeshadow]

@ANiaLLaToR73 - I could've sworn Billy Connolly made a similar joke.

[pkmnguy2010]

i would be thrilled if dara o'brien came to my house to talk about mock the week. also, could sum1 pls Xplain the canoe trip joke?

[MangaKoneko]

@pkmnguy2010 There was a guy who pretended to get lost and die on a canoe trip so his wife (who knew what was going on) could collect life insurance, and he turned up a few years later with the intention of living normally again. He obviously got found out. Well, I think it went along those lines but I'm not sure. ^^;

[TheMan36027]

@MangaKoneko I remember hearing about that

[Rosesofsun]

"Hello i'm gordon Brown; Just hold me" XD

[RKORipper11]

I've got one for this joke: GO COMPARE! GO COMPARE!

[GamerInari]

@RKORipper11 YOU CAN BE SURE IT IS SPAM WHEN ITS GO COMPARE!!!

[mickey15ey]

luv how frankie says murdered lol

[dizzymay100]

i like russell and michael best then hugh



[Firthy676]

hello....I'm max mosley and I've been a very naughty boy lmao

[punkmetal11]

At around 0:04-0:05 you can hear someone go "mhhmmm" like they're eating something tasty or having a w@nk lol!

[giannicasserini]

hello im gordan brown. just hold me! :)

[spore0808]

@giannicasserini OHH YEAH THAT JOKES JUST LIKE THE ONE I JUST WATCHED LITERALLY 3 SECONDS AGO!!!!! HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHH HAAAAAAAAA

[theheadshot45]

@giannicasserini Stop saying the jokes.

[wannabeasinga]

I got one: Hello, I'm Nick Clegg, and I am going to show up every night until you can recognise who I am!

[LeBlondebean]

Press 9 to see Michael's Question

Press 8 to see Frankie's reaction..

=)

[LeBlondebean]

How about....

GO COMPARE!!!!!!!

[veryhighup]

lol dont hold the number 4 key when watching vid

[veryhighup]

lol dont hold the number 4 key

[alexfryproductions]

hello, im afraid my cock is stuck in your letter box ! LOL

[rstarchuck]

Hugh: "Er... I've come to fix your washing machine. You asked for a call out between 12 and 5."

[dmsjr2]

mark watson shit

andy parsons hilarious

hugh dennis Fucking hilarious

frankie boyle Funny as fuck

Micheal macintyre Funny

Russell howard legend

[superrobz]

@dmsjr2

Mark Watson: Shit

Andy Parsons Hilarious

Frankie Boyle: Brilliant

Michael McIntyre: Shit

Russell Howard: Hillarious

:)

[maxpaynekat]

@superrobz swap howard and McIntyre round and i would agree with you

[blainyrules]

@superrobz totally agree on the michael mackintyre, but what about hugh dennis?

[superrobz]

@blainyrules Hugh & Frankie were the best of the bunch, although I say bring back Milton Jones (I'm going to see him in May) and Rory Bremner :)