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  • Such a transparently bullshit story

  • @boothesquirrel if it were bullshit bullshit man would have put a stop to it

  • Play a record...

  • Obviously the UFO story was bollocks, but if it happened it's probably the man lying and the wife believing him. Like that woman recently who said a movie got her pregnant and her idiot husband believed her.

  • @alexxxnewzealand You have GOT to try and email Karl that story about the movie, he would absolutley love that hahaha.

  • And yeah the reason they may not have come back is because they can see how much of a self distructive stupid ass species we really are , if they are not looking for alternative fuels just plain insight of knolege from around the universe they are just gowing to keep right on trucking past our planet ... Have the humans learnt to live in harmony yet ? , Nope

    Ahh fuck that planet then lets try the next milky way there isnt no inteligent life form here , just animalistic apes.

  • If you dont understand why the goverment would keep an alien race under closed doors then your not using your noggin , Alls that is in goverment interest is keep the poor .. Poor and keep the rich rich its as simple as that , the only way they can do this is controlling people with a devine plan or GOD pay your taxes work hard dont ask question and you will be rewarded in heaven , now you have a bunch of aliens running round telling people how it really is then you have got a free thinking race.

  • @Bullitthiphop , If you are implying that i am a crazy mass murderer then you could not be further from the truth , im guess im what people label a ''Pacefist'' this mean all that i want is for people to STOP fighting and chill the fuck out ... and you must be american because shit like that only happens over there , in the last 20 years we have one mass murder in the uk Rhual Moat and he was half slavaken and a bouncer ( door man ) so a total head case .

  • Its is ignorant to think Aliens dont exsist , there are 35 billion galaxys that we know of , so think of how vast the universe is , To belive we are the only ''INTELIGENT'' life form is just plain stupid. They do exsist no question about it , i belive they have visited us too.

    And it would be very easy to cover up aliens , because once again the cleshay has been people who say they belive in aliens are crazy , But people belive in a big invisble man in the sky that dosent seem crazy tho.

  • What why would the goverments hide alien Technology , Ermm

    So they could get ahead of everybody else with alien and use it to kill there own race to gain welth and power.

    If they told everyone there would be worldwide pannick because the cleshay of an alien has allways been big googly eyed monster that wants to shove probes up peoples bums . seriously what do people think aliens could learn from our rusty sherifs badge.

    and think about it , and alien race would only send a few of there species

  • @SleepEat3D

    Whilst you have good points about alternative galaxies and i am open to there is other lifeforms in the universe which would constitute as aliens, i believe if so then they are not so advanced

    However with sentences like

    "So they could get ahead of everybody else with alien and use it to kill there own race to gain welth and power"

    Makes me to believe you are the type which they'll find after massacring hundreds of innocents with that stuff written in shit on your walls

  • @LMW87MMA , There is there is plenty of proof , its just been swept under a rug by the goverment.... so you either choose to belive evidence and peice together a conclusion or you can be a sheep and do as the goverment say and not ask question on anything , follow everyone else with obbidence sheep do the same thing. Baaaaahhhaaaa

  • Just think of it the other way around if we were the alien gowing to another planet , dont you think we would use caution with different being , different atmoshphier , i dont think we would be going there to bum them do you ? , get real we would be learing about there species and trying to comunicate with them , but before they have had the chance to comunicate with us the pissing Goverment come along and put a giant blue tarporlin around it and create a huge lie.

  • @SleepEat3D The point is that there is no proof, and Ricky is adamant in not believing in anything until there is proof for it.

  • @SleepEat3D but why would the government do that? plus all the worlds governments would have to be in on it.. thirdly if the aliens can travel lightyears through space to reach us i think they could find a way of communicating to us wether the governments of earth agree ar not.

  • @SaintLouisX Ermm , no How ? If they have the technolgy to travel lightyears im sure they would have cracked how not to get detected , and they have been detected , ever heard of Roswell hundreds of people swear they have witnessed and alien crash , then just days later changed there minds , you have just mentioned every movie cleshay , what the hell do think aliens can learn from your arse crack ? Like i said 35 millions galaxys , that we can SEE so you full of crap i think you will find.

  • i lovwe gervais all his veiws an his outlook , but i cant see how he dismiisses alien contact every time karl brings it up, anyone with an open mind knows that there are billions of galaxys out there that we as a race havent even began to explore , if you think that in these billions of galaxys that we are the only inteligent life form , the my friend you are ignorant.

  • @SleepEat3D Because if they did travel that far, A) We'd detect them way before they got near us, and B) They wouldn't sneak up to us, abduct one guy to examine his ass, then put him back and disappear with nothing else left except a flaky memory involving blue lights and thin grey fingers.

  • the story about the ufo has happened many times, if people just look into things and think for themselves to connect obvious dots. Sigh.

    People are so ignorant it's scary, but mostly depressing.

  • "Never mind your beard, where've you been for three days?" Lmao

  • I have noticed that when Karl stands up to Ricky and Stephen they just can't take it, they get angry, especially Stephen Merchant. I know it's a cliche but, they can dish it out but they can't take it. Also with with Karl's monkey news, it always makes Rick angry, if it angers him so much he should have stop asking him for it. It's a bit like always prodding an angry dog with a stick and then complaining that you keep on getting bit.

  • @alanwakeish The whole point of the show is to laugh at karl it isnt meant to be 3 people arguing....

  • @alanwakeish

    Karl has been right occasionally about certain matters of fact, and Ricky and Stephen stay in denial. Case in point: Karl claimed that U2's "Where The Streets Have No Name" was about New York (which is correct), but R&S wouldn't have it, and didn't apologize later.

  • wa wa wa wa wa waa wa wa wa wa waa dalalalingalalingalaling

  • Hi guys, I'm uploading all the episodes of these XFM radio shows i've already got 1 up if you want just come and have a look. I might be spamming, but come on you guys love it.

  • merchant looks like sid the sloth

  • there is apparently a UFO law in the U.S which is mentioned in Jonathan Eisens's book suppressed inventions and other discoveries. Ricky and Steve never believe anything that Karl says for two reasons: they think he talks non sense(his delivery of information is funny though), and they are so sure that anything usual never happens(all explainable in there view it seems) haha I guess

  • @RevFaris oops- anything Unusual I meant

  • I love it when Karl says "Eeyar" (Here you are) :D

  • LOL 3:00

  • "as seen on ufoevidence.co" for fucks sake..

  • 5 people didn't get a beard. xXx

  • Rickys laugh at 0:59 is amazing xD

  • Im looking for a part where they're talking about the fact, that some rhythms are universal, and scientists send a special knock sound into the universe so when aliens heard it they would feel the need to reply. anyone who knows what im talking about?

  • @ABEJOHNDERDANSER XFM Series 1, Episode 23, dated 23 February 2002.

    Yes, I know i'm a geek, but you can still thank me if you like.

  • @RichPlaystation I'm impressed! And thank you.

  • @MyceliaProductions42 No problem, are you the same person who asked that question then? I run a Pilkington forum, so I know most of this stuff automatically!

  • @RichPlaystation No, but I first heard these way back when, and I thought they were the best thing to come along comedic in a long time. Seeing these brought back fond memories of laughing like a mad man in my car, much to the bemusement of others! Great find.

  • @MyceliaProductions42 Oh, right because my reply was to a specific question about something else, not this clip. I just wondered if you meant that.

  • is there a place where i can listen to all the episodes of the podcasts?

  • birth of harry chinese kid(?)

  • listening to karl has an unfortunate side affect .....>>>>>>..... hiccups

    makes me laugh so hard every time ,

  • The jingle should have been "Oh chimpanzee that, He's educating Rick"

  • anyone know the name of the song starting at the end?

  • @moviefact1 soul kitchen by the doors, steve introduced it.

  • please please please can someone help me find the educating ricky where one of the teaser headlines is "man changes name to bubbabubbabubba" i can't find it anywhere!!!

  • @ajt22999 It's here mate:

    Yet more of Pilkingtons 'News'

    watch?v=6vQVK2_8MoY&feature=re­lated

  • @Gary190tube cheers dude!

  • so there's this 'airy chinese kid, aight?

  • "i said 36 levis put it in the bag and charge me for it i dont want to discuss it any further" killed me, "no i dont want to look at it when you put it in the bag" couldnt stop laughing.

  • I iistened to these guys on a plane and laughed like a dumbass.Ricky's explanation did it for me lol.

  • "hangin bacon, hairy chinese kid, alien gives man a beard" just some teaser titles. "IM GONNA BURST!"

  • LOL!!! These are the best!!!

  • "He's only got a beard!"

  • we love dee muff soo much dat dee knob is no good for us

    (Ricky + t.A.T.u interview)

  • i alway thought he was just acting but he generally a werid dude

  • wait.. was this like the transitional segment that gave birth to the infamous Monkey News? did this eventually evolve into Karls "monkey news" segment with the complete jingle and his fail attempts to teach Gervais a thing or two?

  • "Hairy Chinese kid..."

    *NOTHING can top that

    "Alien gives man a beard."

    wrong - BAHAHAHAHAHA

  • Karl Pilkington hat einer Kopf wie eine fucking Orange

  • This is classic

  • i love the podcasts, but these are what they should be animating.

    or maybe not...maybe having them just that bit more under the radar helps make them even more special

  • hahaha "bit weird"

  • love rickys jingle, but all three are on top form in this clip

  • the news he reads on the internet are probably madlibs.

  • I agree with SarkySaki. There was something special about the XFM days. They didn't try in those days. The podcasts are great too but there's something about not having to worry about fans paying that brings the best out of these three,

  • These were the good old days.

  • I love it when Ricky says 'yep' when Karl's being stupid

  • Get done? What does that mean? Killed?

  • @macarion Arrested.

  • @boabibingo Oh ok thanks.

  • @macarion Get into trouble

  • @macarion Get in trouble.

  • frik, he's the most random hilarious person. craks me up everytime

  • Ricky's laugh when karl says "where've u been for 3 days" is amazing!

  • "Karl, I genuinely do not know what you're talking about" hahaha

  • Someone made the brilliant comment that the image looks like Ricky's taking care of two mentally challenged people. Can't stop laughing when I think about it.

  • @Mrster hahahaaaha. oh gawwwd, brilliant :)

  • @Mrster... more like a bogyguard to two STARS ; )

  • what series is this from?

  • no guy would ever make up lie like that to tell his wife

  • ahhh the first instance of 'hiary chinese kid' brilliant karlology

  • "If you touch a UFO, you're gonna get done!"

  • I loveeeeeeeeee Rickys laugh so much

  • "I'm gonna burst!" i love that : )

  • @rtenewsontwo I prefer it when he says "I'm gonna die!". It always strikes me as hopelessly existential.

  • "All the names are sort of named to teach you and tease and get you more interested in it".

    "Hairy Chinese Kid"

    Best delivery ever.

  • he's only got a beard...

  • 3 heads just staring at you lol

  • 'Airy Chinese kid

  • I mean pilots hav been reporting ufos amongst other professionals.

  • funny thing- i've actually heard that alien story before

  • and i've never heard of that U.S. law but if its real they could just mean general unidentified flying objects, like if anything foreign crashed and you found it, whether its some kind of test plane or whatever just don't touch it

  • ; D this stuff always cheers me up

  • I laughed reading the title.

  • if you touch a UFO you're going to get done!!

  • I think this might be the perfect example of what these three are all about. If I was gonna introduce someone to them I might just show them this clip.

  • I love how cryptic the 'hanging bacon' is, then he comes out with 'hairy chinese kid'..

  • i cant listen to these when im at uni or walking about in town. its because i always laugh, or if i manage not to laugh i will be walking around with a grin from ear to ear. i creep everyone out. its not worth it.

    i will keep these off my ipod, and listen to them whenever im in the house :)

  • i DO listen to this in uni/walking around and it definitely is worth the ear to ear smile!

  • Absolute GOLD

  • The mp3's of these shows are great for when you're on the tube. Although you do often look a prat laughing out loud at a cheeky bit of monkey news.

  • @ElectricSexPants well chimpanzee that!

  • @ElectricSexPants Who cares it's funny as hell

  • @ElectricSexPants Where can I get these for my iPod??

  • @BishopCR7 you can download them all on the pilkipedia site. About 96 shows

  • @ElectricSexPants I've been doing it for an hour now, people must think I'm a madman!

  • @ElectricSexPants So, your watching it on yourtube then not youtube :)

  • @DilkingtonsDiary ..... correct

  • @ElectricSexPants Hahahah YES!

  • @ElectricSexPants

    haha, i have only started listening to these, and that did cross my mind when listening to them haha

  • yes, i got them through pilkipedia in mp3 form, there's about 90 episodes in all

  • can you direct me where i can find the episodes on pilkipedia please

  • get onto pilkipedia and click on the link in the top paragraph which says XFM shows and you should be able to follow links, follow the links to download page, or come round to my place and i'll copy mine for you, in exchange for a bottle of expensive champagne perhaps?????????

  • Did you mange to download the shows? I can email you a link if you want, they are fucking awesome! All free aswell

  • Is there anyway to get these as podcasts? I don't think your able to get these on itunes.

  • i got it on itunes

    just search up ricky gervais

  • "ive got foxy on" xD

  • ''Never mind your beard, where've you been for three days?''

    It's Karl's wording that does it for me

  • Ahaha i agree.

  • Couldn't agree more.... Best part of the whole clip by a mile !!!

  • @ToBeQuiteHonest It's unintentional perfect comedy timing, love it!

  • @ToBeQuiteHonest To this day, maybe the hardest i've ever laughed at anything

  • One of my favourite clips... just amazing

  • Ricky Gervais, along with Matt Bellamy, have the greatest laughs ever!

  • i've seen a film like that called "fire in the sky"

  • That film used to scare the shit out of me when I was a kid!

  • YOU SCOUNDREL!

  • hahahaha 'never mind your beard, where've u been - FOR 3 DAYS!' amazing, i can just imagine karl's face when he said that

  • "it's from a book"

  • Ricky: "So we're well into this feature now, are we?"

    Karl: "Yeah I s'pose we are, yeah."

    GOLD!

  • there's another brief moment of laughter from karl! brief being the operative word - between 3.07 and 3.09

  • lmfao! And I thought "hairy chinese kid" was the absolute funniest phrase. "Alien gives man a beard", ROFl.

  • LMAO!!!

  • When did these podcasts come out? They aren't in the original 3 series.

  • these are from the original shows they did on the radio.

  • Its from the XFM shows

  • yer i love karl and ricky, is the xfm show still on the radio if so do you know the station??

  • Xfm is the name of the station, but I don't think they're on that station anymore. I think they're doing some more podcasts at the mo, though. Maybe on the Guardian website?

  • fukin amazing. you only grown a beard lmao.

  • Soul kitchen, amazing tune.

  • to guero much like only forigners say britain or british were english irish scottish or welsh

  • eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  • they truly are the holy trinity of comedy. The XFM shows alone got me through writing my thesis!

  • jibbified

  • jib it

  • This must be the first "Hairy Chinese kid" mention. Awesome!

  • how do i get these shows that are not on itunes? unfortunately I didnt get to listen to this stuff...i live in the states...Im so addicted to the podcast I NEED TO HAVE IT ALL!! anyone know how i could download the old episodes?

    thanks

  • pilkipedia . co . uk its go to downloads on the main page.

  • cheers mate lovely its like 90 more hours of podcast

  • try downloading at torrentspy.comm or isohunt.comm the full 92 episodes are out. 'bout 90hrs worth.

    kwality

  • are you american? or do you just live here?

  • im American Born in Chicago

    you?

  • I also am from USA but I don't live there right now. The reason I ask is becuase I always thought "the states" is something foreiners say. Dont get me wrong I'm not trying to put you down, and I might be confused anyway. It's just something you don't hear I guess. I think expatriots use it alot but I don't know many.

  • htey call it the states cuz there are states in america/usa.

  • who cares if it's scripted or not - it's shitting funny!

  • I'm a fan of the jingle they make.

  • This was a live radio show, not a podcast or anything like that. Some of the podcast was scripted, but this isn't. Karl is a genuine, uneducated weirdo. Fantastic

  • so i don't*

  • 'theres audio of karl laughing at all these stories, its all for show' aside from anything else, this show was broadcast live on saturday afternoons. i don't really see how that's possible

  • Haven't heard this one. Cool.

  • soovez a lot of its for show they are comedians you turd! They are genius's!

  • <5 Smerch <5