SMBC Theater - Sex Talk

[soulcalibrII]

Mustache...

[Wolfe3001]

This almost literally the sex talk I had growing up

[TheDrCN]

Seeing the Star Wars poster and the C&H doll, I thought this was going in a whole different direction. No wonder he only knows about this through the internet.

[Dullnirv]

that women has a mustache in EVERYONE OF THE VIDEOS

[antiquatedannomaly]

thumbs up for buttoning the top button.

[mashit13]

I'm going to be a serial killer, aren't I?

[DarthFlaw]

C&H doll for the win

[josolaorden]

"sex is God's punishment for pooping"

Dear God,

Thank you for the punishment. I'm gonna keep shitting, you keep bringing women for sex

[Shaidyn]

Zomg, I loved the explosm plushie!!!

[iwinyoulose101]

@Shaidyn

Cyanide and Happiness FTW

[Nitroxide]

ggggg

[starwarsnerd94]

Why is there a painting of a orange blob crapping out of its head?

[Aralthir]

What the... That's the same bed I have.

[Damuna]

I like how the mother has a crucifix necklace.

[schmerz9]

It has to be said, Colin Horan is damned fine...

[FunnyCoolMonkey264]

Funny until the joked about cutting.

[ApollonApostle]

She definitely has a mustache. It distracted me the whole video.

[DuckReconMajor]

I wish these things contained actual information instead of just stupid jokes. I really need to know this stuff by tomorrow evening.

[mortaloak]

Was that a cyanide and happiness plush?

[mrdaym]

THAT'S NOT HOW YOU MAKE A BABY!

The man takes his penis, pulls it OUT of the vagina, evenly distributes the ejaculate matter over the females facial area and proclaims that she's a "dirty whore".

[catdogmilly]

mustache

im gonna be serial kiler aren't i?, om my yes, probably

[catdogmilly]

mustache



[spilledinsanity]

and THIS is what sexual repression does.

[ilovemangolassi]

Like Eros I find her ladystache to be pretty erotic. Mmmm...

[haracas]

mommy likes pcp!

[maltesuger]

i have that shirt :o

[dinaarumor]

Hold on a second.. how did they get a kid??

[enderwiggin42]

Damn, I can't believe it took me this long to start watching these

[lostinseganet]

this is what school if for...in china. Outsourcing childbirth will make a killing!

[lostinseganet]

this is what school if for.

[SuperFireM]

Also your a test tube baby.

[Ackbar51194]

is it just me or does Zach look like Christopher Walken in this one?

[Totema1]

He learned that sex is a physical expression of love between two consenting adults?

There's no way he learned that on the internet.

[fgyeats]

Repress your sexual urges for years; touch him on the pe-- Oh God, I nearly vomited.

[nikotina2003]

He looks nauseated while she looks scared. Which one is worse?

[Showbizzah]

Zach's acting in this one is actually really great. GOOD JOB FELLAHS

[youkilledkiller22]

That's a $100 shirt.

[idugupthegrave]

i'm gonna be a serial killer aren't I

[lkioplkiop0]

Who noticed the Cyanide and Happiness plushy?

[Caiuscicero]

@lkioplkiop0 I want that plushie!

[fiddlergreen43]

It is a pity that I couldn't Like this video much more than once!

[2snipe1]

I have to admit, I didn't watch this all the way through before and was kinda embarrassed, but I fast forwarded the second time, and the punch line was so worth it.

[toby182]

looks like his mom's a nun and dad's a preacher of some sort.

[Unifyable]

I heard "hole in the sheep method"

[MrMister296]

procure peter stronghold sheets?

[mm8modman8]

I was fine with the video until I noticed the that the clone wars poser was backwards.

[soulmanice]

Great vid. Funny. But that chick has a moustache.

[Kainthereaper]

anyone else notice the chick has a mustache

[soulmanice]

@Kainthereaper

High five!

[estonolodigo]

funny funny funny.

[liesymaeys]

'im gonna be a serial killer, aren't i?' 'oh my, yes!' 'probably' :D Bloody hilarious!!

[zoso8]

he cuts himself and he cuts.. what did he say?

[rox1317]

i'm sorry for my ignorance, but what is PCP?

[ratchpick2]

@rox1317 Phencyclidine. It's an extreme hallucinogenic that tends to make users do literally insane things... one ex-athlete who took it ended up killing his girlfriend and eating her arm before coming off the high.

In other words, one-way ticket to life imprisonment.

[idiot4always]

@ratchpick2

But it doesn't make sence! I mean, why eat the arms?....isn't there a more interresting bodypart to eat? XD

[jnr206]

@rox1317

Its a hard drug, a lot of people call it "angel dust" its a hallucinogen that in my opinion nobody should ever try.

I stick to cannabis <3

[wilddogspam]

God that was painful.

[adrianrobertson]

AS5toi

[DrZao]

good ending

[vladk2k]

Why is „Clone Wars” backwards?

[FlipOffThePope]

I want that hot dogg-ish wall art in the background.

[fishysam27]

nice cyanide and happiness doll thumbs up if you noticed :D

[SeanzieApples]

Most of SMBC's videos could be about 2.5 minutes shorter.

[reNINTENDO]

I like how the beta translator can understand "misconceptions" but not "warm"

Lol, "what are you"

[alprosojaschoko]

sorry but this is silly...

[PopeRichardCorey]

Gerald Transcribes

[Fuzzy192006]

some awful acting there

[IDislikeTheWorld]

I thought she was going to say ass.

[GeneDz]

"the voices tell me not to go crazy"

best line - Ever

[Rosspledent]

@PotatoTattoo he says "and to cut blasphemy."

[crocen0]

I HAVE THE INTERNETS DAD. I KNOW MORE THEN YOU EVER WILL.

[stewinsalot]

touch him on the -- OH GOD! GROSS!

[PotatoTattoo]

What does he say after "And I cut myself"?

[AvengerWolf]

perfect description of what the kid thinks happens when the kid already knows about sex and his parents start talking to him about it.

[Boogers32150]

The man is sexually aroused "so interruption world"

[cascoll2000]

Why dosen't that girl shave here mustache? Or at least wax it? Or is she a man in drag

[umezawa717]

You know what? I think Felicity is a babe. Straight up.

[MrGuyPwnsYou]

Explosm.net plush on bed = win

[DarkAztek]

HOLY. SHIT. Watch this same video using the Beta closed captioning for audio. It gets even better.

[sbtech01]

@DarkAztek "SO the man texas peterson..."

closed captions as a whole new level of filth.

[IreneAdlerCrazy]

CYANIDE AND HAPPINESS PLUSHY!!! Okay, I'm done. That Colin guy is new... is he gonna be in more of your videos? He was really good.

[lagerbaer]

Sex is god's punishment for pooping? That line is gold

[Glasofruix]

The "woman" has a nice 'stache...

[JohnsonLobster]

Good acting, Zach. The short breath, red face, hands gripping the thing, seriously, that blends in very well with the character.

[WizToast]

@JohnsonLobster Thanks!

[fabiobit]

she has a mustache...

[dinaarumor]

@fabiobit ..so?

[fabiobit]

@dinaarumor Wax? Scissors?

[allpsycho]

i knew it gingers have no soul

[LadyAliara]

<3 

[Lordlaneus]

why is the text on the clone wars thing backwards? is it a factory misprint, or was the shot just mirrored in during editing for some reason?

[Ravalexand]

@Lordlaneus its a sheet or blanket and its hung up backwards. hence the text is backwards.

[ArshrAAm]

I know a couple that will probably have this much trouble explaining sex to their child. What's worse is that child will probably be Colin's age or older, when they get around to it. :p (super sheltered kid)

[peeweesquidxx]

sex is gods punishment for pooping XD

[SiegReyu]

Not funny, until the last 20 seconds, but that's normally they way this videos go, so why am I complaining. Should I shut up now, maybe.

[feedommodoyle]

Felicity's mustache says : "I'm just so happy that all my hard work has paid off."

[seanfenrir]

LOL I'm going to be a serial killer aren't I?"

[NotAboveAverage]

Hey, you have the plush from Explosm! :D

[reNINTENDO]

DON'T TOUCH HIM ON THE PENIS!!!

...

touch him on the penis.

[ClevelandRock]

The most frightening part of this video: his parents are just like my parents, except nicer.

The funniest part of this video: pause the video, then click on it to start playing again, then hold down the 8 key.

The comment I am required by law to leave on this video: touch him on the [blank].

[stevenc123]

@ClevelandRock 5 is good too.

[BlueSabb]

Damn Mormons, this is cute until you remember that they can vote.

[olddeuteronomy]

Make a post on YouTube about female mustaches, touch him on the penis.

[Muffysb]

"Sex is God's punishment for pooping" is just about the funniest thing I've ever heard.

[DarkAztek]

You guys exude a sickly black pitched nightmare, light it on fire in a blaze of slapstick timing, and manage to get me to laugh my ass off. I feel dirty. I like it.

[Pandor25]

Loved the ending :D

[dorminay]

lol Zach ♥

[Bard2dbone]

What is he saying when she jumps in with "Mommy likies PCP."?

[SyncrisisVideos]

This video is about 3 minutes too long. SMBC can do better than this.

[puppetmaster124]

put your head through a hole in the sheet; touch him on the penis

[myheadissore]

I havn't a clue what everyone's on about, I didn't notice any moustache, even if she did have one, why would anyone with any remote level of self-esteem give a shit.

[Switch831]

Not a great one.

[lkrduf]

I, for one, welcome our new moustache overlords. I liked it better when you didn't joke about real things guys, go back to the nerd-references that I can relate to, unlike sex

[nielso212]

I, for one, welcome our new moustache overlords. I liked it better when you didn't joke about real things guys, go back to the nerd-references that I can relate to, unlike sex

@lkrduf

Epic comment is epic.

[adragon202]

I'll admit they've been a little slow lately on the humor.. but that punch line was amazing. "How have you not gone insane?" "Well the voices tell me not to."

[2minutestomammoth]

he's adopted, isn't he

[Tychoxi]

"Aah, aah, I can't do this!" => ROFL

[windowmaker525]

Even this, probably the worst SMBC Theater in a while(A rarity) is still better than The Annoying Orange. God that shit is awful.

[NickStedmon]

Does no one else think the real problem is the kid has a The Clone Wars poster?

[NightmareGanon]

Good ending, but for the most part it just seems like a crappy "satirical" anti-"anti-sex" campaign that might have just as well been written by Seth Mcfarlane.

[vampirexz1]

wow

[Bloodveld]

Not up to SMBC's usual standards.

[djerc7]

great!!!

[Illnevertellyoueverz]

Fee, you are the bees knees! Keep rocking my world!

[monkeydojo]

grow your hair back, you look too civilised

[cripplefighter]

Have you noticed that the address spells "ass toy" in l33t?

[gamerunknown]

Fry and Laurie did this :D

[DdlyHeadshot]

Now this one HAS been mirrored - the logo on the towel's backwards!

[Srfingfreak]

I like to have sex with mammals. Hairy, hairy mammals. Some people like to have sex with their hairless rubber vaginae because that's the only thing that will ever accept their clearly insufficient priapus.

"Sex is god's punishment for pooping." Lol.

[coralfields]

@Srfingfreak it's vaginuses, vaginusi, vaginum, vaginii.

[Srfingfreak]

I like to have sex with mammals. Some people like to have sex with their rubber vaginae because that's the only thing that will ever accept their clearly insufficient priapus.

[EmperadorKhan]

Oh man, Zach's great as a fundie dirtbag! Love the grey shirt.

[kevaichris]

Was kinda iffy til the "punishment for pooping thing". Cracked my ass up!

[bubblemike]

11 people's sex talk was like this.

[BrizyComics]

The actor playing the son is made of win. Glad he's part of the side-splitting SMBC team!!

[SirJarred]

Anyone else think the girl in this video looks like a mentally retarded Selma Blair?

[HeroicDolphin]

'The voices tell me not to go mad'. Best. Quote. EVER!

Apart from 'Touch him on the... penis... aggh!' obviously :P

[WeirdBlueOne]

I believe Zach Wiener is the best in this. 100 points to you sir.

[Headsign]

Made my day. Specially the last part :)

[Cleverconveyence]

It's a mediterranean thing. Yeah, it's a bit distracting.

Doyle is still one of the funniest people in this trope.

[gmossessian]

Is that A Feast For Crows in the top left behind Zach?

Good book. I hope George Martin finishes the series before he dies.

[hollowGTCA]

Funniest video I've seen out of you guys lately.

[icecreamop]

Cyanide and Happiness Doll on bed!! Get in!!

[darkaiel]

The whole "lady with a mustache" thing, if it was just some lady it wouldn't be too bad but since she's in a sketch comedy group, it's distracting. Imagine if Zach showed up in a sketch with a handlebar mustache. You'd just constantly wonder if that's part of the joke.

[thangle13]

@darkaiel Maybe it IS part of the joke. Its Fee's secret inside joke to see how many of you people are going to make a ridiculous mustache comment. Fee is awesome in person btw, because she is entirely made of win.

[ank2000]

@thangle13 ALMOST entirely made of win - there's also hair.

[666shade]

@thangle13

That would be ridiculous. Occum's razor on this one, she has a mustachiõ.

[darkaiel]

@Accisma lol You forgot to throw a comparison to Hitler in there somewhere.

[EntropyKC]

@Accisma I think he was saying it because it's distracting to a lot of people. It's sort of the same as if she had a big spot on her face.

[guylfe]

@Accisma Right... So he's a moron for saying something that he feels must be said, and by the looks of it the majority agrees with, but trying to do so as nicely as possible?

[themadhackermatt]

Touch Him on the Blank

[Elolzabeth]

"Sex is God's punishment for pooping!" Hahaha! That one got me.

[nielso212]

To all stupid people, in regards to your responses to iamacyborg: Yes there are certain things (like that lip thing) that make someone attractive or unattractive, it's simply wired or considerd (un)attractive in the current society. Ít's not sexist because there are certain things like that for men as well. Get over it.

[Headsign]

@nielso212 No it's not. The general perception of beauty has most to do with the media. Look at imagery from the 19th century, even from last century and you will find totally different standards. In reality, there is no such standard. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, even if there are fashions that differ. And by the way– here's to you too: learn to use your head and not your butt when you discuss. Profanity is totally uncalled for.

[watcheroflots]

New guy is cute

[themanhoran]

@watcheroflots thanks. you too.

[conkernog]

Was I the only one to notice the impeccable taste in books ? I mean we had a storm of swords, a game of thrones etc etc!!

[DevonHartigan]

People it's not hair, but discoloured skin!

[videogamer810]

And here I thought the twist was that the parents never had sex and he's actually adopted.

How naive of me to think it could ever be so simple.

[AdventEdge]

@Accisma

you should shave your lip hair too, maybe you wouldn't sound so bitter

[thephantompoet]

I like this for the last couple of lines alone.

"I'm going to be a serial killer, aren't I?"

"Oh my, yes."

[KeyboardAttacker0]

Brilliant! And I know some people like that, who just shudder when you say "peeeenis".

[ewokseppuku]

To everyone talking about the looks of the woman in the video:

I would blank her in the blank with my blank. So there.

[medicineman4ever]

To the fat dyke who responded to the guy who commented on Ms. Felicity's lip hair. Get laid. By a man. End transmission.

[richtone]

Also, grammar is a mind controlling scam.

[CharlesOlson711]

They usually do top quality videos, I can not imagine that a simple lip wax would have escaped their attention. So I'm guessing it was intentional? That would match up with the persona she has going on there.

[tiftmasta]

and there are people who feel that sexual education should only be taught at home...

[Totema1]

Way to chew the scenery, Zach! Well done.