I relate so much to the "not feeling anything" and "not alive" part.. I guess the brain, when taken to an extreme stress (in your case, it may be the Benzo withdrawal), loses the ability to embrace experiences and develop emotions.
It's pretty disturbing. There might be pills for anxiety but certainly there are no pills for feeling alive
But we should make a conscious effort to break the bad habit. I've read a lot about ways to do that. During the day every time you have a thought that makes you feel sad, bad, angry, anxious - write it down on a piece of paper. At the beginning you might have to write down like 10 negative thoughts that really affect you. Then, at night, you go through each thought and write something positive right next to it that makes you feel good. Bad habits take a month to start disolving. Try it, I did it
A few months ago I realized that one can easily spend their whole life complaining and being unhappy about their life. Having constant negative thoughts is a bad habit - that's all it is. Think of it as smoking - it is very addictive, you become good at it and it is comforting at the time. Yet, it can ruin your life. Every cell in your body is affected by the electrical signal that is a negative thought. We shouldn't fear our thoughts because they are ours and we are allowed to have them.
I suffered the same criticism as a child and throughout my young adult years that I was too skinny. I did the same thing you did by eating more to gain weight to keep people from insulting me. It was horrible. I am not thin anymore, I'm 46, but all the agony I went through, mostly from my extended family always shocked me because we were all really skinny growing up. Brian, you are so insightful and do understand people more than they care to understand themselves and that's rare.
Taking you in brings out a sense of brotherhood. An automatic sense of having shared the same life, since birth, with so many circumstances in common that only ‘brothers’ who were born into the same lifetime could share in common. I sent you an email.
if you feel good, you will feel other people more openly. if you feel shit you will not feel/care for others in particular, and you will question their happiness. i am almost the same as you are, feeling as if you are the observer and not really feeling inclined to join in on the whole act of life, even when im feeling good it feels way to artificial (maybe you feel like this not sure). you are extra sensitive and very intelligent, you know too much!!!
maybe... you are havin' a hard time caring about things... cuz of the way society (doctors' etc) have treated you....and possibly your family (disregarding your opinions) have not shown you enough care. but there ARE people that care a lot about you.
I don't see your video's as complaining...complaining would, in essence, having a problem and doing nothing about it(you are making the effort to get things done). I think the world needs to learn to differentiate the 2..
I relate so much to the "not feeling anything" and "not alive" part.. I guess the brain, when taken to an extreme stress (in your case, it may be the Benzo withdrawal), loses the ability to embrace experiences and develop emotions.
It's pretty disturbing. There might be pills for anxiety but certainly there are no pills for feeling alive
rentsboy91 4 months ago
Hi Brian -
Trust yourself. What you are feeling or not feeling is exactly where you are supposed to be right now. It will all come together for you - NO DOUBT.
megalithicme 4 months ago
But we should make a conscious effort to break the bad habit. I've read a lot about ways to do that. During the day every time you have a thought that makes you feel sad, bad, angry, anxious - write it down on a piece of paper. At the beginning you might have to write down like 10 negative thoughts that really affect you. Then, at night, you go through each thought and write something positive right next to it that makes you feel good. Bad habits take a month to start disolving. Try it, I did it
rosevalley0110 4 months ago
A few months ago I realized that one can easily spend their whole life complaining and being unhappy about their life. Having constant negative thoughts is a bad habit - that's all it is. Think of it as smoking - it is very addictive, you become good at it and it is comforting at the time. Yet, it can ruin your life. Every cell in your body is affected by the electrical signal that is a negative thought. We shouldn't fear our thoughts because they are ours and we are allowed to have them.
rosevalley0110 4 months ago
I suffered the same criticism as a child and throughout my young adult years that I was too skinny. I did the same thing you did by eating more to gain weight to keep people from insulting me. It was horrible. I am not thin anymore, I'm 46, but all the agony I went through, mostly from my extended family always shocked me because we were all really skinny growing up. Brian, you are so insightful and do understand people more than they care to understand themselves and that's rare.
GodDamnDogs 4 months ago
Hi-Bri!
Taking you in brings out a sense of brotherhood. An automatic sense of having shared the same life, since birth, with so many circumstances in common that only ‘brothers’ who were born into the same lifetime could share in common. I sent you an email.
lllppbhaj 4 months ago
if you feel good, you will feel other people more openly. if you feel shit you will not feel/care for others in particular, and you will question their happiness. i am almost the same as you are, feeling as if you are the observer and not really feeling inclined to join in on the whole act of life, even when im feeling good it feels way to artificial (maybe you feel like this not sure). you are extra sensitive and very intelligent, you know too much!!!
patmagrath 4 months ago
maybe... you are havin' a hard time caring about things... cuz of the way society (doctors' etc) have treated you....and possibly your family (disregarding your opinions) have not shown you enough care. but there ARE people that care a lot about you.
CaliDude1984 4 months ago
I get it...literally and figuratively. Echos from the past.
pornstarcritic 4 months ago
I don't see your video's as complaining...complaining would, in essence, having a problem and doing nothing about it(you are making the effort to get things done). I think the world needs to learn to differentiate the 2..
tmleafs75 4 months ago