Dana Carvey: Squatting Monkeys Tell No Lies Part 6

[TheDarklayla]

my boyfriends mom's name is Linda.....

[hrlee616]

Funny stuff!

[Ryuu10293]

7 ladies want that guy, but can't.

[tsmalo1]

"Mommy had too much happy juice, so that turned mommy into a WHORE."

[solitaresister]

Whenever I need a really good laugh, I come back here. 

[2010Olympicsfan]

 Isn't weird that basketball is Canadian

[SimuLord]

Gods bless HBO. Any channel that can give us boxing and stand-up comedy in the same place is a national treasure.

[GhostfaceChilla420]

didnt realize how hilarious his stand up was...party on garth

[saal0]

At school we had a project, and we had to come up with a song.

So my friend told me about a song with a guy.

Then I said: and a girl, and a car., and I could't stop laughing.

My friend got sick of it and told my teacher I was anoying her.

So my teacher gave a speech about how DISORGANIZED I was!!!

After that, I really couln't stop.

[FireFoxy67]

Mommy had too much happy juice, and that turned mommy into a whore

[Mees78]

Ladies, you can't have that guy, 'cause that guy 's got a boyfriend...

[blindreefer]

I didnt laugh really hard until this segment

[DaNukePaintballGames]

You Gonna DeFrost That Freezer? Huh? You know you wanna DeFrost that Freezer? You Gonna Carpool? Huh?

[sharonafox1]

Last time I saw Dana do stand up live was 1977 at the Holy City Zoo in San Francisco and he was I think working as a bus boy at the San Carlos Holiday Inn. I had a giant crush on him because he looked so much like Luke Skywalker from Star Wars. There was this other very funny guy who performed at the Zoo at the same time. A guy who used to go to Redwood High in Corte Madera, a hilarious guy named Robin Williams. There was no doubt at the time that we were watching geniuses. They still rock!

[balmoraman]

HE IS MY NEW GOD

[JCiscoming]

this man is a genius.

[mojoflowboy]

Hey level 7 on halo 3 is alot harder than u think.

[Spongebobfanaticify]

Isn't that special?

[kujo317]

6 people had a squatting monkey lie to them

[lananikky]

Man all i can see is garth wtih this one heheheh

[theogore]

Thanks a shitload, BlaizeConner1989. Dana is an icon.

[pulse0fmagg0ts]

o ya girl carpool o ya

[Sionnach00]

Mommy has too much happy juice and now mommy's a whore!

[ThisIsRockwellTV]

He is definitely my favorite comedian. I have loved him since I was still watching him as a cast member on SNL.

[ComedyGal2]

I'd like to be his wife...cause I carpool, defrost and pick up the mail

[kodred996backup]

lol!!! ! ! !!! ! ! !! !!

[JackyJessica]

well ladies you cant have that guy. cause that guy has a boyfriend HAHA

[ToriCornNuggets]

funny stuff

[Tigey440]

not whatever they find there are tri-sexuals

[fatesmagic]

I think I may be the Lemon

[actresschik95]

hahahaha you cnt have that guy because that guy has a boyfriend. soooooo tru!!!!

[zombiehunter2010]

lol

[zombiehunter2010]

@shadetheninja666 dane cook

[shadetheninja666]

BATTLE OF THE COMEDIANS

Carvey VS Cook!!!

Who wins Youtube Watchers!??

[extremewrestlingfan8]

Carvey

[fatesmagic]

...Carvey

[nwilson59]

@shadetheninja666 carvey, by far lol

[CombatArms1489]

@shadetheninja666 i would have to say cook, because he keeps things funny

from his childhood.

[diablecita]

Dana Carvey is the best stand up comedian in the whole world!

[shampooh8r]

I found this funny because I believe it's true.

[macnwhizz]

Genius! Thanks for posting.

[tnrc75]

Cheers for uploading this man. This was beyond hilarious. He was my favorite on SNL back in the day.

[MrOWNEDLOL]

Bwahahahahahaha!! xD this guy is the shit, this show and Pablo Francisco's is my favorites, comedians that can change their voice that much is pure talent ^^

[thehellsyeah123]

wow that was one of the funniest things ive seen in a LONG LONG time he just kept going and kept it fresh through out the whole thing

[koolkid1]

now i can fall asleep smilin'!

[moosey62]

Thanks Blaize

[MiamiIndianTribe]

thats funny, i have a 1.90 GPA at community college

[bscotty919]

Well, maybe you should get the hell of youtube and study for your classes.

[JonathanBorgogelli]

hahahahah Great Show!

[keadastar]

well ladies you can't have that guy. cause that guy has boyfreind!

[PearlDrummer25]

I loved the mom telling the little kid

"mommy had too much happy juice, and that made mommy a whore"

[greenAppleVodka]

Ladies you can't have that guy... cuzz that guy has a boyfriend! lmao xD He's hilarious

[lizisbearycute]

When he's talking about Linda the bi-sexual..... He did that at the Wayne's World skit at the MTV awards last year.:D

[mkcsorba]

Linda's what you call a bi-sexual..she likes to go night night time with mommies and daddies..lol

[nodehlyah]

He made me happy.

[savannamarigold]

the 2nd greatest comedian ever is jeff dunham:)

[vicj23]

a baby's arm holding an apple

lol

[savannamarigold]

u like to pick up tht mail

lmao!!!!!!!!!!!

[thesparta1812]

this is some of the funniest shit i have seen in a while

[badfaith75]

Fucking great. Why can't someone put him in a film where he's this good, other than Wayne's World?

[yourpainismygain]

I know right! He's so underrated!

[sgtpepper1138]

yeah, Master of disguises really didn't make use of his talents.

[minik907]

good good good good good

[musicgurrl32]

hahahahahahahaha

[stuco]

Great as always Dana! One of the best comics ever

[spikesmysexyman09]

i love this guy xD

for how much he kicks ass he is sooo under-rated

"he's fantastic" lol

[buccofan27]

LOL "cuz that guy;s got a boyfriend" lmao

[kroicman]

man im too young to hav a heart attack but this guys gonna be the cause of one

[smartiipantze]

yeah ya gonna defrost the freezer yeah u defrost that freezer!!!--epic

[spaces3345]

in the reeeeeeeeeealllllllllly HIGH 1's... ROFL XD

[USApatriot1791]

"Well... sometimes Mommies and Daddies don't get along. Sometimes mommies like to go nigh-night time with a different-daddy. Mommy went nigh-night time with our gardener, Antonio. Mommy had too much happy-juice, that turned mommy, into a whore. A whore is a mommy with so many nigh-night partners, she doesn't know who to have a sleepover with. Daddy was so upset, he went nigh-night time with your pre-school teacher... and her friend Linda."

[HrothgarXII]

I wish I had 6.3 grade average :P

[segould]

Same. Still I'm satisfied with my 4.0

[derangedband]

that was amazing! i really like his show :D

[webbum]

Thanks!

[mdallion446]

fucking GENIUS!!! 5/5!!!

[jv33hornet]

Good job, good quality. thanks.

[Nolan491]

Thanks so much for this!

[drownedmonkeytwin]

2:00 HILARIOUS

[baseballboy9114]

Thanks man for uploadin the entire thing

[DMBAProductions]

2:46 is funny as hell

[LufsyLurqy]

Hey that bi-sexual joke was in waynes world or something.

I don't remember but I've heard it before

[nubapowner5000]

He was in waynes world smart one

[LufsyLurqy]

I know -,-'

[LexusDrivinLizard]

him & mike went on mtv awards or something and did a waynes world sketch, thats what its from

[LufsyLurqy]

I think it was from one of the movies, but maybe not.

[Kingdemonpigfromhell]

Priceless how he pronounces child at 4:13

[seversebastian]

Hey man! He just mentioned both my name and my middle name.

[hislove4ever7]

Dana Carvey would be like, the coolest dad evar. lol.

[formerlyknownasAnn]

Oh yeah. Certainly.

"Hey, dad, I think I might be sick."

"Oh, all right, want me to tell you one of my funny jokes?"

"Hey! You're vomiting! It's like eating... but backwards. Ha-ha!!"

[TheSlingshotChannel]

@hislove4ever7 OH WE DIDNT HAVE A 4 SLICER HER HER HER

[Dearkan]

@hislove4ever7 except when he goes on live tv and talks about what he says while boning your mom...

[firethower99]

this is an awesome performace. one of the best i've seen in a while.

[mojoflowboy]

severs is doing terrific hes captain of the foot ball baseball team i dont wanna bore u with that. he went to uganda this summer and broke the peace between the war and militia. got the medal of freedom from the president. hes going to harvard and stanford a community thing. hows ur son doing. um well um hes not really sporty kid, his grade point average is in the really high ones. he reached level seven on halo 3. lol dana carvey is awesome.

[kvo814]

LOL!!!!!

[liquidpimpette]

and thier satisfied with whatever they find xDDD

[acarch]

DANA !! YOUR BACK!!!

[forgetfulxdesire]

Mommy had too much happy juice, and that turned Mommy into a whore. LOL

[StevieSmith18]

I gotta contain something here !!

[kohlink]

very nice.

[liquidpimpette]

they're statisfied with whatever they find xDDDDD

[FutureSuperstar12]

THE LOWDIE LEARNING CENTER LMAO

4 slow learners lmao

[joeyrats7]

Fucking awesome.

Thanks for uploading the entire thing!

[skinnyp98]

funny as shit

[clydagh]

thanks HoJo

[violin329]

"But ladies you can't have that guy 'cause that guy has a BOY FRIEND!" XD genius! Dana Carvey Rocks!!

[artiefoss74]

not as funny as his chopping broccoli special

[rockabovelove96]

they like a man who's strong with a washboard stomach, musculer shoulders but ladies, you can't have that guy, cuz that guy's got a boyfiend

we know that shit is funn cuz it's fuckin true!

[lepfanatic]

Thanx..... Blaize for the entire vid...1-6

DC

[andizzle96]

women want a strong, muscular man with a wash board stomach.

But they also want a sensitive man who listens

But ladies

You cant have that guy

Cause that guy has a BOYFRIEND

LOL

[DjFrizzle]

AWESOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME!!

-FRizZ

[elkamynodude]

HAHAHAHAHAHA great stuff

[WhoWiz]

GASP! The Lodi learning center!!! HAHAHAHA

[rickyodom]

thanks from everybody that don't have HBO.

hey everybody,now you have to George Carlin's "It's Bad For Ya!".Rip.

[andizzle96]

i could kill your son in Halo 3

[ck1film]

Thanks

[CoinWasher]

Reach inside the pants:

"Okay, it's a guy. I can work with that."

Good humor, man. Gets me smiling all the time through.

[blackgowndesigns]

You can't have that guy, because that guy's got a BOYFRIEND

[NOberon11]

Oh man! This was so freaking hilarious!!!

[JIMAXair]

Mommy had too much happy juice and that turned mommy into a whore. HAHAHAH xD.

[IWantLindseyToWantMe]

i LOL'd too. ^_^

[crashandricky]

ahaha

"you cant have that guy cuz that guys gota boyfriend"

hahah funny ^^

[oohindie]

you can't have that guy, cause he has a boyfriend. priceless.

[sexydude5166]

"i like to go up to the counter with the magnums and ask the clerk, is this the biggest size you have?" lmao so funny!

[reesespeanutbudda]

i reach 40 on halo 3 so suck it

[blitzkrii3g]

There isn't 40

[NOberon11]

And that's why you never get laid.

[Darklorden]

"A bisexual is someone who is happy with whatever they find" :D

[blackgowndesigns]

That's an old "Church Chat" reference.

[FunkyShoe]

That was hilarious!

[skate4dc4]

hahahahaha the end was halarious, i love how comdians bring back jokes like that

[alleykatt02]

That was freakin great..he is so awesome!

[RobCar8]

Happy Juice =D

[LibraGirl75]

Mommy had too much happy juice and that turned mommy into a whore. LMAO

[Ruellian]

GREAT PERFORMANCE!!!

[jerseysfnst01]

Dana speaks the truth

[RobCar8]

ladies you cant have that guy cause that guy has a boyfriend...super awesome comedian!

[hallowedbethymaiden7]

"yeah my son is in the really high ones and reached lvl 7 on halo 3 HA THE LODI LEARING CENTER! lol

[kittykatkafe]

I have never laughed so hard in my life!!  Dana is the best!

[acidtones1]

One of the funniest comedians ever.

[winesparkler]

Thanks for posting... made my day. :D

[UnsungBlade]

"A bisexual is a person who sticks their hand down someone's pants, and they're satisfied with whatever they find."

[moustachers]

I feel like a reverse-pedophile, cos I love this old man.

[minerva1822]

mommy had too much happy juice and that turned momy into a whore

hahahaha i love this man!

[violator79]

"A bisexual is someone who reaches down the front of someone's pants and they're satisfied with whatever they find."

[angelgirl1992]

"Sometimes a mommy has so many night-night partners, she doesn't knpw which one to have a sleepover with." xD That bit had me laughing so hard I was crying!

[violator79]

LOL me too. I love that part.

[violator79]

"Mommy had too much happy juice, and that turned Mommy into a whore."

[kersploooge]

*sucks in air*

THE LODI LEARNING CENTER!!!!!

[lSolidSnakel]

jesus christ the crowd wants to rape him listen to em lol

[TyeDyeGuyRy]

"He lost his touch, same as the old shit!

I'm sticking to the black comedians.."

Haha, you pulled off racism and lack of correct perception in one comment. Nice =)

[twoscents]

ur a faggit

Dana Carvey is the most original and he is the god of comedy

[gotoo2]

i really enjoyed this 1 hah dana is by far my fav comedian. =)

[writertrump]

you DEFROST THAT FREEZER LMAO

[stillravenmad]

And all comedians repeat some of their material.

[StellarMortem]

He lost his touch, same as the old shit!

I'm sticking to the black comedians..

[stillravenmad]

Same as the old shit? I think he used one joke that I heard before from him.

[buffalobillsarethebe]

You really must have no appreciation for comedy. This is funny stuff

[ICyViRuS]

the black comedians are good but they dont shut up about the crack jokes.

[DarknessEt3rnal]

"...and he reached level 7 on halo 3..." that made my day

[SpicySauce7]

YAY DANA

[christick14]

1:36, watch from there. lol . I was crying of laughter

[ActiveTerror09]

haha now i feel like playing halo 3

[canto39]

he did that bisexual joke at the mtv awards during the Wayne's World sketch

[magma383]

he also did it a few years ago when he hosted SNL

[corynmcbride]

thanks for posting! can't get enough Dana Carvey

[chestermolester33]

hahah he had to take a shot at podunk lodi...hahaha...that was kinda lame when he went on and on in that little kid voice...its like alright dude, thats enough, we get it...

[NEONBLADE1993]

THE LODI LEARNING CENTER!!!!!!!!

[cjconway]

great stuff all the way thru!

[melting]

Thanks so much for posting this!